


Take It Too Far

by MissMeggie



Category: Chicago Fire, Chicago Med, Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Disabled Character, F/F, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-09
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-01-04 03:31:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 192,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1076016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMeggie/pseuds/MissMeggie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's stubborn, smart, and totally and completely unexpected but still exactly what he needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

[](http://imgur.com/3NsyL6i)

Severide watches the fire consume the old building on Porter Street. "Damn it's gonna go fast, Capp take first and second behind Casey and Mills. Clarke…" he hears glass shatter on the side of the building.

"Hey! Up here fourth floor. It's the cardiac section of the clinic that means O2 tanks, but it's the only way I can get my kids out a little help would be nice." A red head yells as she tosses kids on to the landing of a half broken fire escape. Severide runs beaneth the landing.

"Anna Lee it's gonna be ok, the fire men will help you go sweetie." The woman in lab coat reassures a dark haired young girl no older than four.

"I need a ladder on the east side." He radios over.

"Mister Fire Man, Help Doc Livvy she can't walk." The girl states cowering on the landing.

"I'm fine get my kiddos I'll hand them down to you." She coughs.

"Your youngest patient?" he asks climbing the ladder. She hands him the girl as she tries to climb back toward the comfort of someone she knows.

"You're holding her Anna Lee Talbot, 3 years two months 5 days old early stage Cystic fibrosis Next kid." The lady orders in a no non sense tone that tells Kelly the woman's used to getting her way.

"You doing great just keep sticking your head out the window. I'm coming up for you; my guys have hand down chain going. She shakes her no "Kids first." She hands him the next one.

"Riley Panes, 9 Autism he's going to fight you like a feral cat. Tell your guys to hold him tight it eases anxiety." She advises with a slight wheeze.

After the last kid is safe. Sixteen in total and he knows every name, age, and diagnosis he goes in for the Doc.

"Alright Doc I'm coming in after you, your just gonna grab on to me like a monkey and I'll carry you down. Can you do that?

"I feel like I should know your name before I latch on." She jokes.

"Kelly Severide." He knocks out the rest of the window. He climbs through as she backs her chair dangerously close to the flames.

"Olivia Grayne."

He releases her lap belt. He lifts her to him chest to chest and locks her ankles around his waist and she locks her arms around his neck.

"Ready?"

"When you are Kelly."

"Then let's get out her before those tanks blow."

-/-/-/-

"Hi Kelly." She watches him lean on her door. She sits primly on a gurney doing a nebulizer treatment.

"Hi Olivia you look much better not surrounded by flames. I just wanted to let you know all your kids are safe." Even covered in soot and with blood shoot green eyes the girl is beautiful, her face is all angles and heart shaped with high cheek bones. Those eyes are a dark leafy green. Her full mouth is bow shaped.

"Thank you will I ever get the smoke smell out of my hair?" She asks twirling a lock of fiery red hair. He realizes he's staring and quickly averts his eyes to his boots.

"After a few washes."

He looks up and dares to inch closer he stands at the foot of the bed. "Your creeds say Lake Shore. Did you know Hallie Thomas?" he stuffs his hands in his pocket

She nods. "I did, I took over her Clinic duties, Oh you're that Kelly." She finishes grinning.

"What does that mean? My reputation proceeds me?"

"A little and I have a soft spot for unattainable things. Honestly I thought Kelly was a girl so I never paid attention." She shrugs.

"Too be fair Kelly is my mother's maiden name. I feel as though I should somehow salvage my rep, because it's not like I can berate Hallie for downing me to pretty girl."

"Salvage it how?" Her brows quirks but she smiles.

"I'll think of something."

"Yeah, well I work 36 on 36 and off but…since you rescued my kiddos you can have my number." He comes closer within touching distance.

"Thirty six hours and I thought I worked a lot." She took a sharpie off the bedside table.

"Gimmie your hand, "The numbers being printed on his palm tickle. "I love what I do, it gives me purpose and..." she shrugged the on call room has bed with a trapeze for me." She answers blowing the ink dry on his hand.

"This is Sharpie!" He complains.

"That way you don't forget me."

He looked at her closely. "No, I don't think I'll be doing that any time soon Doc Livvy."

-/-/-/-

Lakeside Hospital 1 week later.

"Hey there Doc Livvy,"

Olivia looks up from the sand bottle she's helping Callie make. "Kelly! How'd you find me?"

"I asked the nearest pubescent boy where the hot red headed doctor was and…viola. "He holds out his hands.

"And there you are." She laughs.

"And here I am."

"Come in and pull up a tiny chair." She said going back to her task at hand.

"Will do, is this the craft room?" he sits down in a little chair between a chipmunk cheeked boy and a corn silk blonde haired girl.

"This is the child life room, the only fun place in the entire hospital. I'm Sadie." The girl tells him. She gives him a grin her two front teeth are missing.

"Is that so? Well I'm Kelly Miss Sadie. Can I make a sand bottle with you?"

"Start with purple it's the best." She plunks a bottle of purple sand in front of him.

"Well ok then." He looks up to find Olivia smiling at him.

"Is that the firefighter who saved and you gave your number?" the sandy hair girl lying in a wagon bed on her belly next to Livvy asks.

"Doc Livvy," the chubby cheeked boy having gotten up to peer out the window says.

"Yeah Chip?" She replied distractedly.

"There's a fire truck outside." He says with wonder in his voice.

"Really Kelly?" she laughs lightly shaking her head.

"OK so I'm on duty but, I like to ask a girl out in person and…" He shrugged "I'm a bit of a show off." He admits honestly.

"Really? I'd never have guessed." She teases and something in his heart catches,

"Have dinner with me."

"What you think girls?" She gave the girls a conspiratorial glance.

"He's cute say yes and make him to take you to McDonald's." Sadie said.

"How old are you?" Kelly asked laughing.

"I'm four but I'm very mature for my age." She answers batting her eyelashes.

"Dr. Grayne to the ER." The intercom paged her.

"Crap, sorry guys I'll bring my charts and have dinner with you okay?" she kisses Callie on the head.

They all nod.

She wheels around the table to kiss Sadie. "How high's your count sweets?"

"Not high enough." Callie her protector warns.

"I'm sorry baby just hugs for now." She gives the girl a squeeze.

She rolled to the window, "James Finley. Get out of that window." She pulled him down and kissed his cheek.

"Walk me out?" She asked side glancing at Kelly. "Cassie will be back in ten minutes be good guys." She rolled out of the brightly colored room.

"Yeah. You know I don't think I've ever seen a doctor kiss her patient before." He walked beside her.

"Those kids' parents live anywhere from eight to twelve hours away and work full time. Every kid needs love, attention and affection. Maybe especially the sick ones. The again, I bet you've never had a four year old flirt with you have you?"

"No I haven't but there is a first time for everything." He stepped up behind her and began pushing. "I have no doubt you can do this yourself but my legs are longer than your arms."

"Ok but only because if I don't get down there Cara is gonna use her ugly pager person voice." She sat her neatly manicured hands in her lap.

"No Power chair?" Kelly pushed the button for

"I could be indignant and say they're for lazy people but really I lost it in the fire."

They step on to the elevator. "You never did answer my question."

She tilts her head back and looks up at him it's unexpectedly charming. "OH dinner, Yes, I mean sure I'd like that but please god no fast food."

"I gotcha." He grins down at her,

"That's what I'm afraid of." She said quietly.

"What?"

"Nothing,"

They step off the elevator.

"Finally, you're here. Whoa who's that?" An intern tells her.

"That's not your concern, why was I paged?" She pushes forward. And then looks back. "Thanks for the lift Kelly, see you…when?"

"Saturday eight dress up Doc Livvy."

"I gotcha." She smiled at him then turned to the intern. "You may speak."

-/-/-/-

"You get the date?" Cruz asks.

"Don't I always?" He climbs in the truck.

"You only pull the truck trick if you're unsure."

"We're gonna need to bring it back and show James." He waves up.

"James?"

"The kid glued to the window on the third floor." He honks the horn,

-/-/-/-

"I feel overdressed Erin." She said looking in the mirror at her brunette best friend.

"You look great." She finger teased her hair a little. "There. "

There's a knock at the door.

"That's him."

"Mace him if he gets handsy." She advises sipping her wine.

"He's gorgeous I might want him to be handsy. I love you goodbye, now hide." She retorts.

She opens. The door….

-/-/-/-

She sits before him in a dark blue sleeves halter dress that hits her knees. It's the first time he's seen her hair down and naturally curling around her shoulders. Her makeup is light barely noticeable, and her eyes sparkle again when she says "Hi." She smiles at him and not for the first time his breath backs up in his lungs.

"Hi." He returns.

-/-/-/-

I own nothing but Olivia Grayne and the plot of this fic. Olivia's best friend is Voight's female partner. This is my first CF Fanfic if you liked it please tell me!-Meghan


	2. Chapter 2

This takes place roughly 3 months after the first date; I own nothing but Liv her family and my plot line.

-/-/-/-

"There's a pretty girl getting out of a fancy handicapped truck outside." Otis said walking into the common area and kitchen.

"That's Liv." Kelly said getting up from the table and holding open the door for her. "Hey Red! What ya doin here?"

"It's ok I'm here right? I just, I know we haven't been seeing each other very long but Sadie asked me to deliver this for her.

"You're totally fine babe…" He takes the little gift bag with Dora the Explorer on it.

"She wrapped it herself." Liv answers as he pulls out the sand bottle filled with swirly purple, white, and light blue sand. "She wanted to finish it for you."

"For saving her Livvy?" He asked smiling,

"Nope, I don't rate that high. You impressed her all on your own. I think fire trucks will do that to a lady."

"Yeah well the one I was trying to impress seemed indifferent." He said dryly.

She shrugged in jest. "Two outta three ain't bad Kell."

"How are you? You look tired."

"This day's on par I'm fine, really I am." She answered brushing the hair at his fore head back into place with her fingertips. She notices a blonde staring them down through the glass but doesn't say anything.

He leaned down and kissed her. "You got time to meet some people? Eat with us?"

"If you've got strong coffee then I'm your girl."

"Strong enough to peel paint off the walls and you're already my girl."

-/=/-/-

When he grabs her hand and pulls her along behind him into the common room she can feel all eyes on her.

"Guys, this is Olivia Grayne. My girlfriend." He steps to the side and gestures to her still keeping her hand in his.

The room is utterly silent until… "Why do I know that name?" A sandy hair man who looks slightly familiar asks.

"You're the Porter Street rescue." A guy with a mustache says pointing at her.

"Yeah she is but it's not that." Casey replies.

"I worked with Hallie but you guys were spilt up." Liv provides.  
"

No, are you related to Owen Grayne?"

"He's my brother." Her brows quirk.

"He under bid me for a contract."

"A Rescue Rebound? Really Kelly, I thought you were better than that." The blonde staring girl says snidely.

She smiles when Olivia flinches at her tone and implication. "What does she mean?" Liv asked slowly.

"Nothing baby, Shay's just naturally a bitch these days." Kelly shoots back.

"Look, that's Casey, Cruz, Capp, and Herman, Clark, Mills, Mouch, and Pouch, Dawson and shay."

"And I'm Otis." Mustache man adds in.

"And I skipped you on purpose." Kelly teases.

"That cuts deep Severide."

"I'd imagine it does she's pretty."

Her phone rings. Damn it Kell, sorry." She lets go of his hand to answer it.

"Its fine, duty calls."

"Hello, yeah what? No, what's his BP?" She shields the phone. "It was nice meeting you all, rain check on the coffee?" She looked at Kelly. "I'll bring you some I'm off before you today. Kelly said."

"What no, I'm on my way." She rolls off and Kelly grabs the chair and tips it back. "AHHH! Shit! No not you my boyfriend's being a jack ass." He smiled at her.

He kissed her. "Be careful."

"You too."

-/-/-'/-/

"What was that Shay? It certainly wasn't the friend I know." He said watching her stock her rig.

"She's your rebound from Renée and that's it I feel no need to become invested." She said not sparing him a glance.

"You're wrong, I like her, I genuinely care, she's interesting and smart, and I have feelings for her. I see her becoming a part of my life I'd like it if you'd get behind that if not please at least have the grace to not make her feel unwelcome in my home. This firehouse isn't just your home it's mine too and I introduce you guys to no one unless it's real you know that! You know it's important."

She looked over at him. "When you marry her or she moves in? Then I'll believe you're serious but honestly Kelly don't need to save the poor little cripple."

"If you think that's what I'm doing then you know what? Fuck you, just fuck you!" He said pointing at her. "You don't know the first thing about her." He yelled walking away.

"Well do you?" She shouts at his back.

That night in bed. He plays with her hair and looks at the ceiling as she curls against him.

"Livvy?" He breaks the silence and glances down at her.

"Hmm." She said sleepily.

"How'd you end up in your chair?"

"My mother was a paranoid schizophrenic who listened to intently to the voices in her head and parked in the middle of a four way stop. She ended up dead and I was paralyzed. I was four." She answered patently like it was old hat she stretched and looked over at him for a quiet minute.

"Damn." Kelly murmured she pulled herself into a sitting position.

She shrugged holding the sheet to her. "That's life, let's see as a result of the accident I'm adopted my father signed over his rights he's a three time offender for drug trafficking in Cali. I'm the second oldest of twelve. "She finishes with a smile.

"Holy shit!"

"The Grayne's are a godsend to a lot of kids. They take in a lot of special needs foster kids. I love my parents. My brother Owen once dated my best friend Erin; I like brussel sprouts hate beets. I love old movies and peanut butter ice cream. I always cry when I lose a patient. I listen to heavy metal when I'm sad. Is that enough information to appease Shay?" her eye brows winged up.

"How'd you?" she dropped the sheet to pull back her hair. Kelly went silent and watched her.

"I like your hair down." He said a little thickly. Reaching out he placed his hand on her side and rubbed his thumb along the faint line of her rib.

"It's hot though."

"Please."

"Fine only because I like you she dropped her hands her hair falling back into place just below her shoulders. "Anyways, I can read you that's all and Shay she means a lot you and so does her approval. I get it."

He grabbed her by the back of the neck and pulled her over him to kiss her. Her deep auburn red hair curtaining his face. "Nuh uh, Mister..Mmm...Fair exchange of information dude."  
"

Ok then," He kissed her neck. "I love your hair."

"That's not something…."She squealed. "That I don't already know, stop it that tickles."

"Never. My middle name's Benjamin." He kissed down her neck.

"What does this mean?" She touched the medallion hanging around his neck. He lingers a moment at her shoulders.

He backed off momentarily. "It's the medal of St. Florian Patron Saint of Firefighters. My father gave it to me when I joined the department. I'm a second generation firemen."

"Really? I had a patient's father give me one. St. Rita. "

"Ah, Patron Saint of impossible things." He smiled knowingly. "My grandmother was catholic."

"I'm a Christian but it stays in my lab coat at all times." He walks his fingertips down her abs and around her navel and back up to her breast bone.

"Let's see, I'm a Taurus, I like boxing football and the occasional jog, I like rocky road Ice cream rock music and I like to drink Shinerbock when I'm sad. I'm allergic to cats and cedar trees. I've never had anything pierced despite what the boys may tell you and yes, my best friend can be a bitch but she means well and now can we get busy again?" he tipped her chin up with his index finger and kissed her.

"You started it," She teased against his lips.

"Now I'm going to start something else." He retorts pulling so she's strattled in his lap.

"Oh my God, you're incorrigible." She replies he nibbles his bottom lip as he drives up into her.

"I love when you use big words, it's sexy." He whispers into her neck.

"Necrotizing Fasciitis." She jokes.

The roll of his hips cuts off her laugh. "That, not so sexy."

-/-/-/-

"Ahh! Kelly there's a man in your house!" Liv drops the laundry basket and makes a grab for anything throwable.

"Who are you?" They ask in unison.

"Livvy are you okay?" Kelly comes trotting down the stairs and swings into the laundry room bat in hand. Where Olivia sits in his Chicago Fire Department Softball Team tee shirt and his father stands eying his girlfriend and her wire hanger warily.

"Dad what are you doing here? Liv, its okay baby lower your very cute weapon."

"Sorry to have frightened you sweetheart, I'm Benny Severide."

"Olivia Grayne nice to meet you," She yanks a pair of sweat pants out of the basket. "I'll just go put pants on."

"Those are mine." Kelly teases as she blushes.

"Shut up!" She retorts.

"Livvy?"

"Don't worry he's walked in on me with women at lot more naked than you now."

"That's not surprisingly at all comforting Kell,"

He just winks at her. She gives a disbelieving laugh and leaves the room.

-/-/-/-/-

"I'm making good on my rain check." He hears from behind him a star bucks cup is sat on his desk.

"Livvy!" He says turning his chair to look at her.

"I love it when you say my name like that!"

"Like what?" he said laughing.

"Like you're happy to see me."

"Well I am." He sipped his coffee. "You bought me girly coffee."

"I did yes, don't worry no one knows of your secret love for pumpkin lattes." She gave him a conspiratorial wink.

He rolled his desk chair up to her. "Hi."

"Hi back." He kissed her reaching around he pushed the door closed. "We can't do this here." She said trying to think clearly as he found the spot on her neck that always made her insides feel hot. She prayed he left no noticeable marks.

"Why not?"

"Because there are people here." She tried to say it with some conviction but really had none.

"My guys know not to come in when my woman's here."

"Excuse you?" She sat back and eyed him

"My lady?"

"That's a little better."

"Yeah?" he lifted her into his lap. "Next excuse."

"It's a process to get undressed and I have a Foley in because I'm taking part of Hanna's shift and won't have time to straight cath on time." She said trying to be as discreet as possible about her bodily functions.

"I'm still not put off. You can have sex with it in and I have no problem helping you out of your clothes." She just looked at him. "What I can use Google." She laughed.

"What if you get-"he put his finger to her lips "Don't say it because if you say it-"

"Truck 81, squad 3, ambulance 61 attempted suicide 14th and Vine."

"It's gonna happen." Kelly whined. He kissed her quickly sitting her back in her chair.

"Sorry I didn't know."

"Now, you do. Don't jinx your boyfriend out of hot sex." He said teasingly.

She followed behind him. "We've got too sync up our schedules or we're never going to see each other for more than five minutes Liv." He steps out of his shoes and steps into the bottom half of his fire suit.

"I can see if I can switch or cut back some." She watches him yank up the suspenders into place.

"You'd do that?" He looks at her swinging on the coat. He puts on head protector and the hat. He steps into the truck and closes the door.

"I hate to point out the obvious but I am dating a firefighter. I expect to make sacrifices." She tries to hand him his coffee through the truck window but can't reach. A black man seemingly in charge takes the cup from her and throws it away.

"It's a sweet gesture honey but you aren't supposed to be out here." Chief Bowden says.

"I'm sorry I didn't know. Stay safe everyone." She said feeling admonish as the trucks and ambulance speed away. With only Pouch for company she leaves.

"Chief I got three sips outta that. You never had a problem with anyone's wife showing up unannounced." Kelly said over the radio.

"She's the flavor of the month not your wife and we can't have any fuck ups with the dragon lady around Kelly." Shay gripes.

"She might not be my wife but she's not the flavor of the month either."

"Oh I'm sorry I forgot, she was the flavor of last month too." She jabs

"At least I chose a flavor Miss musical mattress queen!" he retorts.

"Hush you two!" Gets barked over the radio.

"Tell me something first Shay? Are you jealous I got there first? You think she's hot? That why you're acting like I peed in your cheerios?" He asked.

"Enough, fight over Kelly's girlfriend after the rescue." Bowden snaps over the radio.

-/-/-/-

Kelly's in the shower when his phone rings. He jumps out of the shower hitting answer.

"Talk to me." He said shoving the phone in between his shoulder and ear to wrap himself in a towel.

"Well I'm good with that? Hi baby!" She replies.

"Oh it's you…talk dirty to me." The happy laugh that bubbles out of her makes him smile. He puts her on speaker and sets about shaving in the sink.

"Oh my god, you insatiable pervert."

"You love it."

"Maybe a little." She flipped through an old People Magazine.

"Watcha wearin'?"

"Little mermaid scrubs."

"Oooh hot!" He rinses his razor.

"Liar."

No, Disney characters totally do it for me." He teases.

"See Perv!"

"So, what's up since phone sex is obviously out." He said carefully shaving around his mouth.

"I prefer the real thing."

"Can't argue that."

"Did I get you in trouble Kelly because if I did, then I'm sorry I just like seeing you before I go to work?" She stares at brad pit on a glossy page he did not age well. Kelly's hotter.

"Look babe Chief just has a corn cob up his ass about the audit lady. It ain't about you. I swear to God if you quit coming by I'm going to lose my mind." He said honestly.

"How are things with your Dad?" She asks and he's silent for a few beats.

"Babe…" he hedges tiredly finishing his half assed shave.

"I know I'm pushy we didn't grow up the same."

"It's not that Benny runs when he gets bored and he is bored with Beth all of it."

"Do you run?" She asked preparing for the worst.

"I used too." He said quietly staring at her picture on his phone.

"Are you going to run from me when the novelty wears off and being with the crippled girl gets real?" she reveals her worst and oldest fear.

"You are not a goddamn novelty Liv! You aren't the fucking flavor of the month you're my girlfriend. Did you know I just ordered a trapeze so you can sleep at my place? This is real for me! My feelings are real and I don't care who thinks they're not anyone but you. You've gotta believe me Liv, I want to be with you."

"I'm sorry, it's just guys like you the ones who can have any woman he wants? They never want me. I'm work and sacrifice and parts of being with me won't be easy."

"I don't want easy just give me possible."

"Okay I believe you Kell." Something about his answer eases the knot that sometimes lives in her stomach.

"Go to my place when you get off I want to have something to come home too." He asks hopefully.

"You do realize I have another 28 hours on call right?" She said dryly.

"I don't care if all we do is sleep in the same bed for three hours and eat dried cereal for breakfast. I want you there."

"How will I get inside and up the stairs?" She said being logical.

"My Dad's there. He's retired but he can carry my 105 pound girlfriend up the stairs."

"Baby, I gotta go I just got 911-ed I'll be at your place.

"Bye Babe."

-/-/-/-

"Livvy! Baby, I'm-"Kelly shouts.

"Shh. She's asleep." Benny said. "Six car pile-up rights before shift change she just got in maybe an hour ago."

"Damn."

Benny shrugged. "Let her get in a few solid hours before you wake her. You like her, I can see it. I think you are in love with her already."

"I'm-"

"I get it, she reminds me of your mother a lot, I knew with your Mom on our second date."

"Shay hates her." He said leaning on the kitchen island,

"You fall in love with someone Shay loses her safety net. I'm a shit husband but even I know your wife becomes your best friend."

-/-/-/-

Kelly comes in and sees her lying on her stomach. He gets on the bed and crawls on top of her.

"Typically Kelly, I love all things you related including that smoke smell that never goes away and the fact that are hornier than any fifteen year old I know but I'm tired cuddle me or step off." She said not bothering to open her eyes.

"Okay I can cuddle you just watch." He gets up and gets undressed before climbing back in bed and pulling her too him. He holds up his phone and snaps a picture.

"You just tweeted that didn't you? Asshole."

"You still look beautiful." He kissed her cheek.

-/-/-/-

Liv wakes to moaning. "Kelly!" He sleeps right through it. "Kelly!" She laughs as it gets louder. She shakes him" Kell darlin'."

"hmm what?"

"Please tell me the Ahh Ahh Ahh girl is not Shay that's gonna get annoying." She points to wall to her left.

"We could always drown em out I'm naturally competitive." He said grinning.

"I have no doubt. Your Dad's here though."

"If we scar him he'll leave quicker." He said rolling on top of her.

She laughs loudly. "You can't be seri-"His kiss cut off her sentence and shut down her higher brain function.

-/-/-/-

"Your still here." Kelly said walking down the stairs. Olivia sits on the counter next to the stove cooking scrambled eggs. "I took a personal day so I could spend time with you."

"Well I feel special." He said coming to stand beside her.

She looks up and finds him staring. "What?"

"Nothing making a mental note of something for future reference." He shrugged and scooted closer to her.

"Hm, okay then. We're both off today what do you wanna do?" She stirs the eggs around.

He grins. "Besides that Kell!"

He kissed the exposed side of her neck. "Baby?" She said freezing in place.

"Mmhmm." Kelly murmured

"unless you wanna eat burned eggs I'd keep your lips to yourself."

"You don't really mean that." He kissed on the lips. Before going to open the fridge.

"Fry up the bacon horndog."

"Wanna go to the movies later? I'll even let you pick." He said looking for a pan,

"That never happens take him up. On it." Shay said lingering near the coffee maker. Neither of them had heard her come in. the dark haired girl behind Shay gives Liv the creeps.

"I make it strong, I apologize in advance. Thanks for the tip. Look I really don't like this tension between us I don't know what I've done to cause it but I'd like it too stop. I'm not trying to steal your best friend, I'm one of twelve I have plenty of friends. Kelly's different and I care about him and have no intention of hurting him in fact he'll probably hurt me before I will ever hurt him. As for being a rescue rebound that's my problem not yours. He swears I'm not a rebound and I believe him. Look we're going to be together you can get behind it or not that's your choice. My choice is to be nice to you and call a truce. The rest is up to you because I'm not going anywhere. "She looked at Shay unflinchingly.

"You like straight shooters Shay, Livvy the eggs are burning anyway." Kelly points out.

"Shit." She turns back to her egg pan

"No sweat I'll start some new ones." He said handing her a cheese stick to nibble on.

"Movies? Catching Fire?" She suggests biting into the cheese.

"Sure sounds fiery."

"It's not." Shay and Liv say together.

"We're cool." Shay said to her with a nod.

"Can we drop by Lakeside? I have a little girl to thank for my present." Kelly said,

"Yup I'm sunk." She grabbed him by the face and kissed him deeply.

"We'll never get breakfast made at this rate." He points out and she just laughed.


	3. Chapter 3

It's pouring rain when they walk out of the theatre. "Oh my god, it's a monsoon." She said as they stood watching under a portico waiting for it to let up.  
"Shit any second now Rose Dewitt's gonna come floating by on her door." Kelly said.

"I'll never let go Jack!" she retorted "Cheesiest movie ever but I had seriously scary thing for Dicaprio so you get points for the reference."

"Ready to make a run for it Red?" He asked tipping the chair back to go down a curb.

"Now or Never Baby."

He grabbed her chair and took a sharp turn just to make her scream. "If I didn't wanna get to the car quick I'd revoke your driving privileges." She tries to threaten but is laughing when stops by the old Mustang,

"Live a little Boo!" He said kissing the top of her head.

"Don't call me Boo."

He put her in the car and tossed her the keys as he stowed the chair. She starts the car and turns on the heater.

"You're soaked Kell."

"I've had worse." He lean over and kissed her. "Sorry, the heater is total shit in this car. It takes a second."

She reaches over spiking his hair into a Mohawk. "Look now you're all punk."

"Yeah a graying punk." He locked in the mirror and undid her work.

"I think it's hot!" her phone rang out the opening riff of Fire and Dynamite.

"Hey Vivi, No I'm off. I went to see catching fire. Jennifer Lawrence wears a Lycra body suit you'll wanna see it. Uh I liked it I think my boyfriend was a little disappointed that it actually had nothing to do with arson." She put on her seat belt

Kelly laughed setting the car in gear. "Um, we met when he pulled me out of the burning building Mom and Dad don't know about."

"No, Vivianne lets not tell Dad, because he's going to try to lock me in the house to keep me from going to work like last time!"

"That's an approach I haven't tried." He teased adjusting the rear view mirror

"You don't have the stamina to keep me entertained the way I'd want Kelly and all Dad had to do was watch soaps with me he bailed on number four." They wait on traffic in the parking lot.

"Well, I don't know! I think so, when you say it like that I sound like a sycophant. He asked me out! Well you told me to get a life outside the hospital and I did." She ran her fingers through her hair trying to air dry it.

"I know I've missed the last three Sundays I'm sorry I would but that's one of the two or three days Kelly and I have off together. Because it seems unfair to subject him to our madness this early on. Fine, I'll ask."

She looked over at him. "Every Sunday all of my siblings get together and fix a family dinner for our parents. Would you like to come? Please know that you should feel free to say no, really."

"I'm in it'll be fun." He leans across the car to kiss her.

"If I didn't like you so much I'd question your sanity."

"We'll be there. Kelly, you better vacate this parking space before that teeny bopper in the Nissan gets out and shanks your ass." She points out the window to the pissed off girl waiting for their parking spot.

-/-/-/=

Kelly sat Indian style on the bed behind her watching her do her hair. "What are you doing?"

"Scrunching my hair." She crumpled sections of her hair in her hand to create bed head style waves.

"Scrunching?" he asked brows quirking

"Don't ask ok? Can you hand me the hair dryer? It's in the third drawer on my right."

"You keep a blow dryer at my place?" He said surprised but still getting up to do her bidding.

"And a curling and flat iron, half my makeup, a tooth brush and clean underwear."

"Dude, you're my girlfriend for real. "He smiled at her in the mirror.

"I am."She smiled back.

"Where do you keep your underwear?"

"Weirdo!" she stared at him a second before laughing.

"Why'd you put this where you can't reach it?" He leaned down.

"Oh I can reach I just wanted to watch you bend over." She pinched his butt.

"I feel objectified."

"Wouldn't be the first I've seen that calendar your department puts out." She raises her eyebrows at him.

He kissed her handing her the blow dryer. He looked in the mirror to make sure her red lipstick hadn't come off on him.

-/-/-/-

"Mom, I'm home!" she calls out as they come in through the back door into a very large kitchen. They hear many footsteps and they are converged on by almost 2 dozen people. She doesn't even have time to take off her coat.

"Libby!" shouts a tiny girl in the back of the fray. Kelly goes over to pick her up as he gets closer he sees the girl in her Belle night gown has Down syndrome.

"Hi I'm Kelly." He squats down to her level as a blonde woman he assumes Liv's mother watches.

"Libby!" the girl points to Liv.

"Ok, I'll take you too her." He holds out his hands and the girl jumps into his arms trustingly.

"Hey Ollie," A man with fading into gray- blonde hair wades through the children to kiss Liv on the cheek.

"Hey Daddy." She said kissing his cheek and giving him a hug.

"Who's the man carrying Hadley around?" He whispers in her ear.

"That's Kelly, he's fairly harmless the only person who might actually out charm Hads." She said loudly.

"Ok Graynes chill a second." She gets them to all to back out of her face as Owen comes up to kiss her cheek." So I can introduce you to someone get in order. Ok Kell, come here please!" She finishes.

"Hi Hadley baby!" She takes Hadley from him.

"My mother Mara, father Cole, Owen." A tall man with light red hair eyes him warily." Owen's wife Lindsey" The dark haired girl with a bright smile hugs Liv".Hey Chica, Where's Langston?"

"AZT time." A pretty blonde answers.

"Oh okay."

"This is my other sister in law Sarah Anne." She said "Hi Kelly first time's scary it's not so bad after." Sarah Anne Said.

"Vivi, " She points to a statuques blonde woman with Corn flower blue eyes "Liam's late, Rainey," A bi racial man comes bounding down the stairs cutting her off. "Hey Sis!"

"Hey Lang, thanks for joining the party."

"Sorry my life saving meds eats into your plans." He snarked.

"Anyway, Mila, Madden, Grady, Tess, you've met Hadley and finally Joshua. Guys this is Kelly Severide." She points to set of identical twin Asian girls a gangly dark haired boy with bangs in his eyes a young girl with glasses and a mousy brown bob and then to a chubby raven haired toddler braking and unbraking Liv's chair.

-/-/-/-

"Grady keeps eyeing my car. Like he's going to hotwire it." He says coming to her side she had taken off her blue plaid infinity scarf he'd bought her and sat in a white short sleeved shirt and jeans. Hadley wore her scarf as a new dress.

"He has Asperger's and is obsessed with classic cars. You go show him your car and you've made a friend for life." She put her arm around him and he brushed flour off her nose.

"What are doing? You're covered in flour."

"Making my contribution to dinner."

"Which is?"

"Apple pie. Cliché I know." She said and he smirked/

"Hey Grady wanna get a closer look?"

"Mommy! Kelly is going to show me his car!"

"Shoes!" every woman in the house yells to him. Kelly goes back and kisses Liv on the top of the head as she peels apples over the sink. "No matter what Grady tries to tell you flip flips are not shoes."

"Got it."

As they're heading out the door they run head on into a lithe blonde young man wearing a leather motorcycle jacket. His curling blonde hair tied back. "Whoa, that's a whole lotta big and brawny you must be Liv's? I'm Liam"

"Liam!" Liv hollered. "Did you just hit on my boyfriend?"

"No, I just mean you have a type. Typically they have superior chest muscles. Besides I have a girlfriend."

"This week." Langston teases blue eyes sparkling as he takes Kelly's spot by Liv.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that the only people more confused about your sexuality than you are the people you date and that's coming from the family lesbian." Vivi returned as she levered herself to sit on the counter on +Liv's other side.

"She'd be perfect for Shay, and hello Liam I'm Kelly." Kelly put his hand out to shake Liam's.

"Oh hell no, you just go show Grady the car and mind your own Baby."

"Who's Shay?"

"Repeat after me Vivianne Eliza Grayne. I will not screw around with Leslie Shay."

"Oh you don't like her."

"What was the first clue."

=/=/=/=

"He's hunky and that is for sure." Mara Grayne stood next her daughter at the sink.

"Mama!"

"I'm old honey not dead, all I'm saying is I see what you see. He's great with Grady. He wasn't at all freaked out by us, just jumped right in with a big smile on his face and helped Hadley when he thought she was being left behind."

"He's a keeper; do I need to slice these apples thinner?" She said not daring to look up afraid her mother would see too much in her eyes.

"No you're fine. Is he the keeper?"

"Huh?"

"Is he the one the last guy you brought home was Carver." She put down the peeler and looked in her mother's all-knowing brown eyes.

"Look I think so but I knew going into this that Kelly's a notorious womanizer. I- just until he makes a serious move I'm not getting too attached. No matter how good in bed he is."

She heard the car engine rev. "Oh God!"

She rushed out. "Buckle up and stay under 85 please!"

"Baby come on now! We're just going around the block and we both know seat belts cause more injuries in a crash than they prevent!" Kelly said head stuck out his rolled down window.

"It's my baby brother, put your head back inside the car and put on the seat belts."

"Fine but Livvy's a prude!" Grady complained pulling on his belt.

"That doesn't mean what you think it does buddy." Kelly smiled and clicked in his seat belt and winked at Liv before pulling out of the drive way.

"He's rescue squad if like they flip it from here to Pine Street then he can get them out." A voice behind her said.

She doesn't bother looking back. "You're an asshole Owen, How'd you know he was squad?"

"That quilted jacket you had on is CFD. Dad's got questions he's just keeping them for dinner conversation."

"Lovely." She muttered turning for the house.

-/-/-/-/-

"You have been working on that pie for an hour baby, it's going to get eaten it doesn't have to be pretty." Kelly said coming up beside her at the island as she cut minute little decorations into the pie crust.

She shot him a dirty look. "What'd I say?" he held up his hands in a "Don't Shoot!" gesture.

"The desserts are my thing and I want them to be pretty." She said.

"Okay, then baby's touchy 'bout pie I get it. Can I have an apple slice?"

"Go away before I smack you with my rubber spoonula thingy."

"Is that the technical term for it spoonula thingy?" he asked as her eyes narrowed.

"I am not playing Kelly Benjamin."

"Livvy?"

"What Tess is a mess?" She returned smiling over at Tess.

"Can I have apples too?"

Kelly grinned at her biting into an apple slice while he slipped Tess one. "They're for decoration quit eating the decor you two!"

"I get that you like perfection, I noticed after watching you do your make up today but it's a pie baby. We're going to eat it!"

"And I really am going to hit you Kelly! Get out of the kitchen." She made as swipe at him with the spatula.

-/-/-/-

"Ollie kicked you out didn't she?" Cole said watching the man standing on the stair landing hands stuffed into his jean pockets looking at a picture of Liv.

"The lady is particular about pie." He said giving him a grin Cole knows had to have charmed his girl.

"Nah, the dessert's her forte she wanted to go to Paris and be a pastry chef until she burned herself making Carmel and that was that."

"Oh so that's what that scar is," He stood looking at a picture of her as a little girl. "She sure was a pretty little thing; she's so tiny in that little chair."

"Oh so you actually adore her, good." He steps on to the stair landing with Kelly.

"I do, it's hard not to be bowled over by all that fearlessness." He smiled to himself. "Only woman who ever bossed me around before she'd let me do my job."

"Name one thing that annoys you but you still love about her." Cole asked trying to discern how real this thing is.

"She plays Candy Crush at night to unwind after her shift I hate that fuckin' game but I still find it cute when she wakes me up to do the timed levels for her because she can't click fast enough."

Cole glanced at the picture Kelly was looking at. "That's her adoption day picture. I remember the first time I saw her was in this rinky dink hospital in this run down suburb of Chicago, she had the Halo on and everything. She looked at me and said "I never had a Daddy I have a Mommy she died her name's Cassidy, Are you my parents now? Are you going to be the Daddy? And if you think it chokes up now you should have seen me then. Owen is biologically ours she's the first child that found a place in my heart on her own fearless little merits. Questions? She had em' but not fear. Livvy doesn't do fear or love either really at least not often, Owen's the one who broke down those walls first. She loves you Kelly or she wouldn't have brought you home. You and one other guy in thirty years. You're a little afraid of me that's good means you're smart. You screw with her heart and thirteen of us will come after you."

He turned to leave but stopped. "If you earn her, if you earn her love and respect? It'll be fine."

=/-/-/=

"Soup's on Grayne's!" Owen shouts.

They all sit down and begin fixing their tacos. "So Rain I like your hair do." Liv commented to the dark haired girl on the opposite side of who Kelly thought was Vivi. "It's easy just a sock bun and a bandana."

"You'll have to show me. How's the SAT Prep course?"

"Preppy. How's it dating a firefighter?" She asked crystal blue eyes shining beneath an overabundance of eye liner.

"Busy."

"And by busy you mean between the sheets right?"

"Rainey!" she scolded.

Kelly knocked shoulders with Liv. "Shut up! I can feel you thinking and you have no shame! "He points a him not looking his way.

"Part of my charm right? You're blushing, never took you for a prude sweetheart."

"What does prude mean?" Grady piped up.

"And on that note how'd you two meet?" Mara asked trying to change the subject.

"A prude is like a really crappy car that refuses to go fast." Kelly answered.

"Nice save." Liv mutters.

"But my sisters in a wheelchair not a car." Grady challenges.

"No she's not a car."

"She's more like a jungle gym babies always climb on her and push her like she's a toy it bothers me." Grady said giving them a scowl.

"It bothers me too cause I'm selfish and want to spend all my time with her but she helps those kids and babies right? So it's okay to share. " Kelly points out.

"I picked out her Lego scrubs last Christmas."

Kelly goes with subject change easily "Solid choice but I like ones with chili peppers on them."

"This the longest conversation Grady had with anyone all week he must like you Kell, Nice job holding eye contact buddy!" Liv said and Lang reached over to ruffle the child's hair.

"I like him okay his car is cool." He said grudgingly.

"Well at least some appreciates it. Livvy took one look and went uh I don't think my chair will fit."

"Oh for crying out loud Kelly it's a car not a person!" she drops a chip back on to her plate and stares at him.

"You never did answer your mother how'd you meet him Ollie? The hospital?" Cole asked

"There was an electrical fire in the Porter Street Women and Children Clinic and he rescued me." She said quickly staring solidly at her plate.

"What?" Her father asked in clarification.

"Seconds before it blew up." She finished.

And the table explodes into accusatory questions

"What? You didn't tell me that?" Vivi yelled.

"What the hell Liv?" Owen accused

"Why were you in that fucking ghetto clinic the last women who ran one ended up fucking dead Olivia she was dead!" Langston nearly screamed. Joshua began crying.

"Look, everyone." They continued hurtling questions and incriminations at her.

"Be quiet!" Kelly said above the din. "Look I'm sorry if that came off rude but she was there because she's a doctor and she took an oath to heal people and that's where she's needed is the in places no other peds doctor will go! I got to her in time and she's fine that's all that matters."

"Thank you Honey." Liv said pausing to take deep breaths.

"Look, I didn't want to tell you guys because it's over and I didn't want you to worry."

"Too late sweet girl." Her father said. "Next time tell us."

"Please God let's hope there's not a next time." Kelly said.

"Do you worry for him? "Sarah Anne asked softy nodding toward Kelly.

Something in the camaraderie of worrying over what you can't control forces her to be honest with Sarah Anne even if reveals too much. "Every second we're a part and if he's even five minutes late I worry that Shay's gonna show up at my door with the chief and tell me that thing I feared happened but we took oaths to help people and so we do. Even if it endangers us." She exhales. "Now for the love of God someone change the subject and let a girl eat her tacos."

-/-/-/-

"Do you really worry like that? About my safety?" He breaks the silence of the drive back to her place

She looks out the window then back at his tense expression "I can't lie Kell, I was too honest as it is."

She exhales a long breath and justifies her feelings. "I get that your feelings aren't as progressed as mine but…I live with the worry and when I knew I was falling for you I accepted that it would become a part of me. Just like the doctor in me knows when Lang's gonna die I can read his counts and I know if I can pull him out of it or if we're going into full blown AIDS territory where I can't save him."

"It lives in the same place as the knowing too much and not enough lives. I get it if ya know I'm too serious and you wanna bail."

"I'm not going anywhere. If I was going to bail I'd of done it by now. If you can live with the fear then I'm not leaving you for having fear about what I do. I'll try to be on time from now on though."

"Thank you." She whispers.

=/=/-/=

"No coffee this time just me." He looks up and she's sitting calmly as can be in Betty Boop scrubs.

He asked grinning. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, we officially work the exact same hours and I'm on something doctors never get lunch break. Wanna have celebratory sex in the fire house?" she asked as she reached over and pulled the curtains down.

He yanked her into the room slamming the door behind her locked it. "You just might be the perfect woman. "He kissed her,

"Hair down." He pulled out her ponytail.

"Ouch Kelly." She said against his mouth.

"Sorry but not really cause you know, your hair…" he wrapped his hand into her hair tilted her back and kissed her deeply.

They break apart only when the need for oxygen demands it. "Clothes off now." She said panting slightly.

"I like it when you get all Dr. Bossy Pants on me." He said kicking off his shoes. He watches her lose the scrub top and his heart bear slows at the sight of skimpy black lace covering her breasts.

"You planned this." He said yanking the shirt over his head as she pulled off her sneakers.

"I hoped for it, the thong matches. There's a garter belt but that seemed like too much work." She lifted herself with one arm and yanked her pants down with the other hand,

"Waitin' on you Lieutenant Severide." She smirked at him.

He dropped trough and kicked out of his pants. He walked over in his under wear and picked her up the same as he did when rescuing her. "In the interest of full disclosure I feel I should tell you I have had sex in the firehouse but never in my quarters." He laid her on his bed and loomed over watching her carefully.

"Well I plan to make you forget anything before. Now stop talking and fuck me." He kissed her.

"With pleasure." She grabbed his face and kissed him hard.

He's lying on top of her when she decides to tease him a little. "Are you gonna put it in or just stare at me all day?"

"It's… you're not funny." He said kissing her and driving his hips into her.

"I still got you."

"Nope you didn't you make that little breathy sound… when I start. Heard it." He said all cockiness and pride.

=/=/=/=

She's sitting up to put her clothes back on. "Hey wait." She looks over her shoulder at him and he's holding up his phone and snapped a picture.

"Delete that now!"

"No you look pretty."

"Don't instagram it." She told him leaning over to kiss him and retrieve her bra from the headboard p0ost.

"I won't all you see is your back though."

"Do you have a hairbrush here?" She asked finger combing her hair.

"Bed head not your style baby?"

=/=/=

She rolls past Shay on her way out.

"Is your hair different? It's got lots of volume today." She asks and Liv snickers.

"Nah just left it down. You coming to dinner after shift? I'm cooking for Kelly you might as well join in."

"Maybe what ya making?"

"Haven't decided but I'm a better cook than he is so there's that."

"I take offense to that!" he said walking up behind her to kiss her on the top of the head. "Thanks for lunch babe." He said seriously and without a hint of humor.

"Anytime. Gotta go." Liv barely manages not to laugh.

Shay sees Liv's ponytail holder circling Kelly's wrist and puts two and two together. "You did not."

"Oh if you think I did then I probably did! Bye baby! He shouts as she rolls out the door.

"So she any good? I mean you keep coming back for more." Shay asked leaning over the back of a chair in the common room.

"I'm not answering that Shay." Kelly said plopping down next to her.

"Well if a girl can't feel then she's probably a crappy lay."

"She's not… I mean she has sensation just not… it's none of your business." He answered uncomfortable with the conversation.

"You've always told me before."

"She's different…. It's different and not because she's disabled but because-"he scratched the back of his neck. "Never mind."

"You're in love with her." Shay said in wonderment.

"I don't like using that word… just trust me it's different."

-/-/-

Casey gets a text from Shay.

Shay: Look I barely like Liv but if someone doesn't help Kelly build this ramp he's so insistent on then we're going be scraping pretty lil Red off the pavement."

-/-/-/-

"Are you trying to kill her or show her you love her?" comes from behind Kelly.

"I can do this I don't care what Shay thinks." Kelly said around the nails in his mouth.

"I know you can but do wanna be right or do you want your girl safe? We only have to take down part of it and add a rail I can tell by looking that incline's too steep to negotiate without one and then there's state regs." Kelly sits down in the grass dejected/.

"Those stairs at Molly's are even worse and because it was built before the ADA they don't have to change it but I can guilt trip Hermann into it."

"Damn you really do like this one don't you?"

"A lot." He sees her truck pull up and smiles. He gets to his feet as she kills the engine.

"Hey Kell, can you- what in the hell are you doing?" he walks over kisses her through the open driver's side window.

"I'm building you a ramp." He watches her get out of the car. She's wearing her hair piled on top of her head and a bandana tied around her head. Her shirt reads well behaved women rarely make history. She's wearing black lace leggings that her skin shows through.

"Well baby, it's a really sweet gesture and I love you for it but you're testing it out." She said but he wasn't offended he was going test it anyway.

"You let Rainey do your hair didn't you? You look pretty."

"Thanks I felt lazy."

"Come on I'll Piggy back you inside and come back for the chair and groceries."

"Oooh I like the shoes. They're sexy." He said glancing down at her feet as he picked her up.

"They're from Viv's Stripper Phase. Hey Casey."

"What are you making for dinner?" They walk toward Casey.

"Baked Garlic Parmesan chicken, Homemade Mac and Cheese and A salad. You staying' Casey I make enough to feed an army its reflexive." They walk past him and up the stairs.

"I guess."

"Kell, turn…I meant your body not your head so I can close the door." She kissed him anyway.

-/-/-/-

"Shay I know you don't like Liv but you need to learn too because she makes him happy." Casey commented as they watched the pair standing in the kitchen talking.

"She's too needy."

"But she's not I know what it takes to be a doctor I was practically married to one and to be a doctor you have to be driven and independent even more so if you're disabled, you just don't like her because Kelly needs her and you aren't used to him needing anyone but you."

She sighs but doesn't respond. "Hey Shay settle an argument for us?" Liv said.

"Pudding cups count as dessert right?" Kelly as sitting the dish of Macaroni and cheese on the table.

"Yeah."

"See baby, you're just a dessert snob."

"You remember you said that when you want something. Come on y'all soup's on."

AN: Merry christmas readers! if you enjoyed please review, Fire and dynamite is by drew holcomb and the neighbors! i own nothing but LIv!


	4. Chapter 4

"Okay so Kelly asked me to meet him at his fire buddies bar we're staying for one beer and then heading to dinner." She said putting on makeup in her entry way mirror.

"That's fine what's this?" Vivi held up a glass cube holding a preserved red rose.

"Kelly gave it to me." She turned lipstick tube in hand.

"He gave you a paper weight…. Nothing says love like random shit to pile on your desk." She said sitting it back on the coffee table.

"It never dies Vivi, that's why he gave it to me." She said dryly as Vivi walked toward her.

"That's not nearly as douche baggy as I thought. Sorry." They trade lipstick and mascara and apply quickly.

"It's cool, let's go." She can't find her jacket and remembers Kelly had left his leather jacket on her couch last time he was there.

She's taking a pleasant trip down memory lane to the shower they had taken together day before yesterday. "Yo! LIvvy, you're smiling like a loon." Viv breaks her reverie.

"Let's go." She said swinging his jacket on.

-/-/-/-/

"Do you have any idea where we actually are?" Vivi said peering out the window at the darkened run down streets.

"Not a clue, Kell said it's on Prendergast." She squints reading a street sign.

"Call Kelly Severide." She commands Siri.

"Calling Kelly Severide." Siri returns

It rings once twice…. "Hey baby, hang on." She can hear shouting and music "Okay sorry hey sweetheart." He answers leaning on the wall outside Molly's single bathroom.

"Hey I'm on Pederast and I'm lost."

"What do you see?"

"Hardware store, smoke shop, graffiti and a bum. Please come outside I'm not getting out of the truck without you. Homeless people scare me don't judge."

"You're a street and a half over you're on west pederast. Go to the end and turn right it's gonna get worse before it gets better." He said trying and failing to hold back his laughter.

"I hate you right now Kelly!"

"You worked at Porter Street!" He points out.

"During the day!" She defends shouting at him.

"Okay, I'm turning."

"And I'm going outside." He walks toward the door.

"What's Liv drinkin?" someone asks.

"Sam Addams Amber Lager." He answers hitting the door.

"Oh ok I can see you Kelly." She said seeing him leaning on the wall outside Molly's entry way.

He walks toward her truck as it drives up. "Who's in the- Shay's here you know that right and she just broke up with Devon Viv'll be like chum in the water."

"You're on speaker Douchey McFireballs."

"I meant pretty chum."

Liv just laughs.

"Olivia stop laughing." He whines.

"That was good….Vivianne one Kelly zip."

"Hang up and park you two smart asses."

-/-/-/-/=

They walk up the path and see a huge roughhewn wooden ramp. "This is gorgeous work." Liv comments

"It looks like Owen's." Vivi Says.

"It is. He designed it and Casey built it. After Owen saw the one at my place I was barred from touching anything you would use. I did add the Christmas lights so it would be easier to see at night." He smiled at them.

"Thank you, you didn't have to do this you know I'm used to making do." Liv replied brow crunching in thought even as she smiles.

"That's the whole point. You shouldn't make do unless you've got no choice." Kelly retorts.

"I don't like Liv's boyfriends ever…please don't make me like you. It feels wrong." Vivi said plainly.

He leaned down to kiss her. "Uh no, it sold out here save that shit for inside." Vivi complained.

"Hi babe sorry about my little ray of sunshine over here." Liv replied all sarcasm and smiles.

He walked over behind her and pushed her inside.

-/-/-/-

"Livvy!" Mills shouted the second she came in the door.

"Mills! You drunk buddy?" She shot him a smile.

"A little."

"Cab. Promise me."

"Yes mother,"

"That's not an insult I find complimentary."

"Sit with me?" Kelly asked.

"Sure." She shrugs out of his jacket.

"Whoa, hot mama." Mouch said placing her beer on the table top.

"Hey Mouch," she adjusts her off the shoulder sapphire blue kaftan top.

"Got a hot date?"

"Not unless dinner with my lesbo sister counts." She said dryly.

"Nice Liv." Viv pops her gum and feigns hurt feelings.

"I love you Vivianne. Introduce yourself around the blonde plays for your team." She said transferring from her chair and into the booth next to Kelly.

He shifts around so that he sits with his back on the wall. He pulls her into the gap of his hips. She makes sure his legs are straight out of the booth seat and leans back into his chest.

A blonde brings Kelly a beer and eyes her. "You slept with her didn't you Kelly Benjamin."

"That's Zoya and only once." He loops his arms around her shoulders and kisses the crook of her neck

"You say that like I should be proud." She answers.

"Well if you hadn't given it up so quick…" he smiles.

"I did not! It was like our tenth date!" She defends herself and takes a pull on the beer bottle in her hand.

"Seventh." He swigged his beer.

"Are you sure because…." She sits the beer down and wipes the condensation on Kelly's jeans.

"Oh babe I'm positive. We only made it as far as the couch." He laughs and she feels it in her back.

You've turned me into a whore." She whispers.

"You say that like you're ashamed baby." He laughed dodging her elbows to the gut.

"Okay, I surrender Liv! Jesus you elbows are sharp."

"How'd your day go?"

"Eh I have a sister." Kelly says like its nothing.

"Do what?" She leans up and twists to look back at him.

"Beth, the step mom thinks Benny is still running around her, he hasn't moved back in doesn't see the boys could I please go check it out."

"And you do, for your brothers." She slumps back into him.

"Right. I assumed my sister was his lover."

"OOOh nice sweetheart."

"Oh it gets better; she's twenty one about that many years ago Benny left me and my mom." He clears his throat obviously uncomfortable with unexpectedly sharing so much in a public place.

"Damn I'm sorry Kelly."

"Don't be," He kissed her shoulder.

"What do you want to do about it?"

"Still thinking on it." He laces their fingers together.

"So how was your day babe?"

"Alright I guess, I heard they had to up Sadie's Chemo and I lost a kid today from an MVA."

"Olivia, that's the very definition of a shit day."

"I know and to think I was only there to catch up on paper work." She slugged back part of her beer.

"If I'm goona drink with you, feed me I haven't eaten all day."

"I'll order a pizza, you don't wanna eat anything Otis has touched and Hermann burns water."

"And Gabby?"

"Is busy flirting with Casey."

"Love is in the air it must be because Valentine's Day is around the corner."

"It definitely is, that thing you feared is happening." he nods toward Shay and Vivi talking at a corner table.

"Don't rub it in." She whines.

"You make me happy Livvy." He smiles into her hair.

"Back at you."

"Okay so what does Vivi do?"

"You mean other than flirting like she's trying to get into a closeted nun's pants? She's an event planner." She gestures at her with the beer bottle.

"You know what Owen does. Lang's an Art teacher Sarah Anne teaches Kindergarten, Lindsey's an art curator. Liam's geology major and Rainey wants to go to beauty school."

"Your Parents."

"Dad's a lit professor and Mom's a social worker."

"Lots of teachers and healers huh?"

"When you don't have parents the next best things a teacher." She said honestly.

"What kinda Pizza you want?"

"Surprise me. Viv's allergic to olives." He dails a number.

"What made you want to be a doctor? Hello, I'd like a Chicago style supreme no olives. Yeah, cash 4415 west pederast."

He hung up. "I saw Lang mistreated a lot because of his diagnosis, I've always tried to fix it for other kids."

"We're you mistreated."

"Sometimes, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle."

"Mean girls?"

She shakes her head yes. "And short sighted boys."

"As gorgeous as I know I would have found you to be… you'd have scared the shit out of high school Kelly."

"Why?" She smiles at his honesty.

"I was shallow."

"I was angry; I wouldn't have trusted you anyway."

"You trust me now don't you?" He asks lowly resting chin on her shoulder.

"I do."

"Well since we're working Valentine's Day what do you wanna do if we get five minutes together?"

"You mean I can pick something besides sex?" She tilts her back and casts her eyes up at him in question.

"There's a quickie and then there's barely there."

She laughed and twisted slightly to kiss him.

"Finally! Took you long enough." Her hands hold his face and she kiss him again slow and deliberately.

"Damn woman."

"Damn right." She retorts sitting back in place.

"How long you give em?" Kelly said pointing to Shay and Vivi leaned up over a table talking.

"Until they screw or break up?"

"Either."

"About as long as it'll take the pizza to get here." Liv teased laughing at her own joke.

"Shay gave us six months."

"Ouch."

"Hey, just because I usually move on quick doesn't mean I will." Zoya brings them another round.

"Doesn't mean you won't either." She said morosely watching the woman walk off.

"I guess you'll just have to trust me."

"I will. Trust you I mean."

"Your hair's half up." He points out like he'd just noticed.

"Yes Kelly that's called compromise."

"And the weird beehive thing? What's that?" He smirks

"You're an ass." She turned to hit him.

"Wait! Come here!" He dodges one hit but she lands a slap to his upper arm. " Ow! That hurt!"

He kissed her. "It's weird but I like it." He said against her lips before deepening the kiss.

"I like kissing you but twisting hurts."

With a few turns and tugs he has her sitting in lap facing him. "There."

"The advantages of dating muscle bound jocks." Her sister calls out.

"Gross." Shay calls out at the public display of affection. "Freakin' breeders."

"That breeder's my sister and he makes her happy." Vivi watches them making out in the corner booth and smiles.

"I didn't mean-"She defends.

Vivi looks back at her. "Yes, you did and if you want this thing to go anywhere? And I have a feeling you do because I can read you like a book, you better be more than tolerant to my sister you better be nice because she may be his girlfriend but she's my best friend." She demands

"That bossy thing that turns Kelly on runs in the family doesn't it."

"You have no idea."

=/-/-/-

Kelly stands and watches Liv the throw crepe paper up to a brown haired girl. "I feel like I haven't seen you in ages Liv."

"That's because you haven't, how's the intelligence gig?"

"I like it. You still seeing that guy?"

""The fire fighter? Yeah, where should I put the cupcake station?"

"Glass wall it's easier to clean icing off." Kelly answers walking into the room and out of his hiding spot in the corner.

"Holy five alarm fire batman!" Erin said.

"I know he has that effect." Liv grins to herself.

"Erin, meet Kelly."

"Kelly Erin."

"Nice to meet you I can't stay long I just wanted to drop off some flowers for Sadie and to tell you to meet me out in the court yard at nine." He walks over to her.

"Why?" She places her hand on stomach and he puts his hand over hers,

"It's a surprise. Sadie's flowers are shaped like a cupcake. Think she'll like it?" He inclines his head in question.

"That's sweet Kelly, she love it."

He shrugs. "Chemo sucks; Kid needs a reason to smile."

"Squad three rescue at Hudson Bay submerged car." He kissed her. "Bye."

"Squad three is responding. Nine minutes out." He radioed back running off.

"Be careful!"

"Nine Courtyard!" He said turn and running backward.

"I'll be there." She said as He shoots her a smile and waves bye before turning for the elevator.

"On the scale how high?" Erin asks.

"I'm not answering that while he can still hear me." She said through her teeth.

=/=/=

The Valentine Party starts at 7 and she leaves it in Vivi's capable hands. "Remember they're kids you're catering to a different crowd Sis."

"Doctor Grayne to E.R."

She does a needle thoracotomy on a kid with anaphylactic shock.

"Dr. Crider, in situations where its gut versus brain go with your gut. You could have scoped the intubation and not needed to jam a needle in the kid's neck okay. Think but don't overthink and if you don't know ask but making me look sloppy isn't going to do you any favors." She tears into the intern on her service.

"Damn baby, be nice to the baby doctors." Kelly teases.

"No one was nice to me Kell, and I survived." She said without turning to face him. "Go, with the kid Crider. Jesus!" She sighs tiredly as the kid and her intern are whisked off to admissions.

"Got a minute for me I have a medical problem, I'd like my physician girlfriend to see too." Kelly asking tipping her chair back.

"If you're here because you have a priapism I am going to kill you." She lets her wheels down wheeling her through a knot of people.

"What's that? Sounds sexy when you say it like that."

"A raging hard on that won't go away." She answers taking her hair down.

"Not sexy, painful very painful." Kelly corrects himself.

"You think that's bad we take a needle and-"

"Stop Livvy! Shut up!" He says before he hears too much.

"What did you need?"

"Nothing but you." He leans down and kisses the top of her head.

"Medical problem?"

"Well that was a line but I am allergic to the river algae please feel free to check me over."

"Do you ever stop with the innuendos?"

"No."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see. So, I got the panty gram you sent me." He said making a turn.

"And you liked it?"

"I did, I was also in a full firehouse." He grins.

"What?! Kelly! I assumed you'd open it privately." She said a blush creeping into her cheeks.

"It was in a non-descript envelope, I had no idea what it was. Not to worry the men and Shay were jealous. Otis even offered to marry you."

"Too bad for Otis short Russians with weird mustaches aren't my bag." She said and they come to a stop.

He opens the door to the sun room and set in middle of the floor is blankets and pillows and a picnic basket. Hanging from the ceiling is glow in the dark stars.

"It's snowing and you can't see the stars anyway so I changed things up."

She rolls further into her favorite room in the entire hospital. "This is great, how long do we have?"

"Clarke's covering for me so about an hour or until you get called away."

"I thought dragon lady was making it hell to do anything unannounced."

"According to dragon lady its bad form to date a rescue."

Liv transfers from her chair to the floor. Kelly flips off the lights and joins Liv on the blanket.

"And what did you tell dragon lady?" She leans back into his chest.

"I basically told her to go fuck herself that my life outside the fire house had no bearing on my work and I was just as likely to meet you another way, but I did rescue you and that's our story."

"Kelly! If you aren't careful they'll fire you!"

"No, they won't I'm damn good at what I do and firing a second generation fire man for something like that makes her look bad she doesn't have the balls for it."

"Look in the basket Livvy." He said twirling the end of her French braid through his fingers.

She opens the basket and pulls out a carton of banana pudding from Magnolia bakery, and Coca cola in glass bottles. "No way, you remembered!"

"I did, anytime you call something a guilty pleasure with that kind of look in your eye a man remembers. You forgot to tell me you have to stand in line until next Valentine's Day to get it though."

He kissed her softly.

"Take your lab coat off." He says against her mouth before moving further down her neck.

"Not to disappoint you honey, but I really do want to eat that I'm hungry."

"Alright you'll get your way this time." He relents smiling.

They eat sharing a spoon and passing the carton back and forth. "You're right it's good."

She pulls a wrapped gift from her lab coat pocket.

"This is for you, I was going to go with a romantic gift but you aren't the easiest guy to shop for and-"

"Can I open it? I love presents."

"Yeah." He tears into it to reveal an expensive looking phone case. "It's crush resistant, flame retardant and water proof. Don't actually call me when you're fighting a fire though. That doesn't seem safe."

"Well I'm sure fighting fires and texting is illegal but I do need this I've lost like four phones to water damage!"

"Boom no more water issues!"

"Boom? You really need to limit your time with Rainey."

"But I love my Rain; did I mention I'm taking her to see Lorde? Tickets were her valentine from my parents."

"Here." He hands her a small wrapped box. "I hope you like it; I saw it and thought of you."

She opens it and inside is a gold ring formed into a squared knot. "It's a love knot; according to the saleswoman really I think she was just making it up to get me to buy it."

"No, Kelly she was telling the truth I'm Irish it's a Celtic love knot." She said softly putting it on her right ring finger

"I understand you weren't trying to imply anything but… you know I love you right Kelly." He goes still and utterly silent in a way that makes Liv wish she could draw the words back into her mouth. She leans up to look at him waiting,

"Huh, I uh, thank you."

"Okay, that's-I'm just going to go because-"She scoots away from him on her hands.

"Liv, wait I didn't-"

"They probably need me anyway Kelly."

He brushes glitter dusting her eyebrow away. "Please stay-"he watches her get in the chair and go to leave. When she rolls past him he reaches for her. "Liv don't do this, I don't…"

"Don't touch me." She says tersely.

The door slams.

"Fuck! That's just great!" he pitches the empty pudding container at the wall.

-/-/-/

"The woman said I love you and you said thank you?" Casey asked shuffling playing cards.

"She caught me off guard, and I froze. I was dumbfounded I didn't know what to say."

"Obviously, something tells me thank you was the wrong thing to say to this particular girl."

"Do you love her?" Dawson asked simply from across the room.

He considers for a moment now that he has distance from the situation. "Yeah I do."

"Then tell her and fast because the shit's making the rounds with the Grayne's and Owen Liam and Lang have all taped a big fat kick the dumb ass sign to your proverbial back." Shay adds leaning on Kelly's chair.

"What I'm sleeping with Vivi." She answers the unasked questions.

"Saw that coming."

"Just say it man, it's time you turned in your player card anyway my friend." Herman advises.

-/-/-/-

"Hey Babe, listen I know you're mad at me and you have every right to be but we need to talk and I don't want to say this over the phone. I'm going in late today I'll meet you for lunch in your office. I miss you…a lot ok bye." He hangs up stashing phone in the car. He goes for his daily run.

=/=/=/=

"I don't know Mom; he never showed he was probably going to dump me for being too clingy and weird." Liv answers and eats a bagel while checking her files.

"Doc, male twelve years old coming in with a brachial artery laceration maximal blood loss." Crider says.

"Gotta go Mommy." She hangs up.

"Call vascular and the blood bank get enough to replace full volume."

She turned a corner and runs directly into Kelly.

He looks tired and is covered in blood. "Are you alright?"

"Cut on my calf I'm fine. Take care of him."

"What's his name? Crider go stitch up my boyfriend's leg and give him a tetanus booster. Leave a scar I'll whip your ass."

"His name's Nathan we're still gonna talk Livvy."

"Not now we're not."

"I need a central line kit, get that blood into him pronto. Tell the OR we're coming." He watches her put in the line quick as lighting.

"He'll be fine Grayne's a slave driver but she's damn good." The timid brunette standing next to him says.

"I know." He whispers mostly to himself.

=/=/=/=/=/=/=

They are standing and doing a quick survey of the damage done by the derailed train. Kelly sees a familiar red head and cobalt blue chair.

"Oh hell no."

"Olivia!" He shouts approaching her at a sprint.

She looks over. "I don't have time for this Kelly, I'm the peds trauma doctor and you obviously need the extra set of hands so please let me do my job. Cold air makes fire spread right? Go!" She looks at him unflinchingly. Chief barks a command and he goes.

=/=/=/=

There's a break in the action. Kelly kneels down beside her. "How's it going Doc Livvy?"

"Not well, I need more supplies more hands and fucking ambulance right the fuck now! Yo, Shay gets over and prove to me you're more than a pretty face. Midline fib fracture with protrusion and possible compartment syndrome I need help splinting it."

She looks up but only for a second to intent on her work. "Liv look at me. I have to shut off the gas mainline to the tanker if you feel the ground shake or you think it's gonna blow i want you to get in your chair and get Shay and run. I don't care about anything else just run ok?"

She stares at him a second. "I don't run."

"Do it Liv, I'm scared for your safety." He pleads.

She rips tape length with her teeth. "Would you leave? No, then I guess you have your answer and if you expect me to tell you I love you again, think again because I still mean it but it's on you now. Don't blow yourself up. I will revive you just to kill you myself if you do." He grabs her face and kisses her. "Gotta go baby."

"Severide" She calls out as he walks off. "Don't blow up it'd be waste of a gorgeous face."

"Yup, totally love her, totally." He mutters to himself laughing.

=/=/=/=/=

He's busy working and she's spending time with her sisters so they don't get time to talk.

The alarm sounds. Building collapse Killian Arena 4422 Elburn. Truck 51 squad 3, Ambulance 61 battalion 25. Kelly stands but cannot move.

"Shay where was the concert Liv was taking Rain to?"

"Oh god, no." She says and watches Kelly turn ghostly white.

"You're with me Severide." Bowden demands.

"I'm the commanding officer for my squad, you can't just-"he complains

"Are you thinking of anything but her right now? I thought so get in the damn car Kelly." He yanks him toward the SUV.

-/-/-/-/-

The building looks sound from the outside and for a moment his heart lifts until he sees one whole section of the old building is totally flattened to rubble.

"Stay the car Kelly!"

"Are you out your mind?"

"I know she's your woman and I know you are scared but you are no use to anyone like this especially her if she's hurt. Go to the Red Cross tent and see if she's with the people in a non-collapsed section but stay out of the hot zone we clear?" Bowden says not waiting for an answer as he gets out of the car to control his portion of chaos.

"Livvy!" Kelly shouts getting out the car and sprinting to the white tent. "Olivia!" he begins searching "Rainey!"

He searches but can't find her he slumps to the ground in corner of the tent and pulls out his cell phone. The sight of it in its stupid indestructible case makes his eyes well with tears. "Damn it Liv." He dials but it rings endlessly in his ear.

Rescue and medevac copters whirl over his head and he listens to the chaotic commands and instructions to multiple firehouses for what feels like hours.

"We got her Severide. I saw her hair." Mills says through radio static.

He's on his feet and running straight for the hot zone. Not really hearing the radio chatter anymore he's too intent on his goal of getting to her.

It takes Casey, Cruz, and Mouch to stop him from running up on the scene.

"Let me go! I'll take you all down let me go." He yells trying to break through them.

"It's bad Kelly. You don't want to see her that way." Casey said close to his ear.

"How bad?" He looks at his friend waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Liv has a closed head injury possible skull fracture and Rainey is going to lose her leg."

"Was she conscious when you found her? Is she conscious?"

"She told me not move the rebar from Rainey's leg it was keeping her phemoral artery from bleeding out she said your name and then went out."

Dawson and Mills come carrying her out. "I mean it now, let me go." He orders.

"Shay's with Rainey in the Helo. You want to ride with me? No hysterics and no touching her got it?" Dawson demands.

"Gabi, come on. You can touch her and talk to her it might help just don't touch injured places." Mills amends.

"Why's she not being air lifted?" Kelly asks and they all hear his fear but don't comment.

"Other injured are more severely hurt and I can get her there in time she's holding steady for now. Do you trust me?" Dawson asked. He grabs her hand that's dangling from the gurney and back board.

"Yes, i- yes I trust you. I'm right here Liv? Right here just hang on ok? Just hang tight a little longer." He said running beside them. He sits in the ambulance floor touching her bare foot. They fly down the road to Lakeside.

"Gabi, she can't feel anything below the tops of her thighs. She can't feel me touching her now."

"Christ, okay come up here but I'm serious-"

"No touching injuries I got it." Kelly said moving up the right side of the ambulance.

He grabs her hand. "Okay Baby, you got this. Just keep doing what you're doing okay, fight." He kisses the back of her hand. "I never saw you coming, and I still don't sometimes that's why I didn't say it back. Not because I don't love you but because I thought I'd say it first…I just I need you okay so don't go anywhere. You're the best save I've made in a long time. I can't lose you." He tells Liv completely ignoring Gabi for the moment.

"And I hope Gabi knows how much it's killing me not to get the hair out of your eyes right now." Gabi laughs.

"Really?"

"She hates having hair in her face."

Alarms start going off. "Her stats are dropping I gotta tube her. You cool to watch?"

"I'll help. What ET tube do you need?"

"A seven."

"Come on Livvy, fight me girl get good and mad." Gabi advises.

=/=/=/=

After a very long surgery to remove blood clots and pressure on her brain they wait for her to wake up. Taking shifts and turns at her side. Kelly doesn't leave he's afraid too. He remains at her side day in and day out eating little and sleeping less.

"I'm going to piss her off watch." Vivi announces and puts on a Lady Gaga CD. She begins dancing around the bed to Bad Romance.

"Come on Handsome." She offers her hand to Kelly.

"I don't dance." He rolls his stiff neck.

"Douchey McFireballs…you're lying come on relax a little bit gotta laugh or we'll cry and something tells me you've done more than your share." She pulls him to his feet making him dance.

Two songs later.

"The least you could do is play some reputable lesbian music, some Melissa Etheridge or some shit. Turn off Lady Gag Me." She said low and grumpy.

"Holy shit it worked! Livvy!" Vivi said jumping up and down a little.

"Did you jump ship? He's hot." Liv cracked an eye open and cocked her head at Kelly.

"No, that one's all you honey." Vivi answered laughing.

"My throat hurts. And that's my hoodie Viv."

"Here," he pours a glass of water. "It's from the ET tube, it'll go away." He kissed her temple. "Drink slow Liv."

"You are a major improvement over Carver Collins and that's for sure. Wow, I must have some form of retrograde amnesia because I have no clue who you are." She tries to sit up. "Whoa."

"No don't sit up, its okay, stop diagnosing yourself Livvy." Kelly said.

"Vivianne, get the doctor and call your parents." He asks.

"What's your name?"

"Kelly. My name is Kelly Severide. What year is it?" He sits with her on the bed.

"2011 is that wrong?"

Unable to help himself he holds her hand. "Don't worry 'bout it baby. This is going to sound really odd right now but I need to say it okay? Because I almost lost you and lost my chance and I'm not doing that ever again. I love you so, so, much."

"Uh…Thank you." She said confusion coloring her response,

Kelly laughs. "You're welcome."


	5. Chapter 5

"This is so your family Livvy Lou." Erin said lying in the hospital bed with her as they watch Brothers & Sisters.

"If you take out the philandering father, less mental health issues, and more racial diversity then yes." She ate some popcorn.

"Besides Owen's hotter than Balthazar Getty." Erin said reaching into the popcorn bag.

"That's gross E." Liv's nose wrinkles.

Kelly chuckles shoving off the door frame. "Cup of sugar for my sugar." He walks over and hands Liv a vanilla bean frappe. "Yes, I know your Star Bucks order and you know mine somewhere in that head of yours." He smiled at her.

He climbs up lying on the other side of the bed. "Hey Erin."

"I watched the vow while you were gone." Liv tattles on herself glancing over at Kelly

"I told you not too!"

"I cried." She admits sheepishly.

"I knew you would." He shook his head at her.

"How?"

"I'm your boyfriend. We've been over that part. The Oral B commercial with the Dads makes you cry." He tells her as though the commercial will strike a chord.

She shrugged."I still say you look like one of Erin's victims."

"Victims? I resent that." Erin scowled at her.

"Erin Lindsay, cop and man eater you know this." She retorts smartly.

Erin's phone rings. "Detective Lindsay, yes ok I'm on my way. I was checking in on my Liv." She kisses Liv's forehead. "I love you tell me what happens." She points to the lap top where they are watching Liv's Netflix queue.

"If I can remember it!" She says as she leaves.

"You made a self-deprecating joke you are coming back." Kelly said.

"Rainey won't see me." She said and picked restlessly at the blanket laying over her.

"Honey Rainey won't see anyone."

"She shouldn't have lost her leg I should have fixed it."

"Olivia, you were covered in three feet of concrete and debris and you had a head injury. You always tell me I'm not Super Man and I'd look stupid wearing my underwear outside my pants when I take myself to serious. It applies here!" he brushes a lock of hair behind her and watches her closely wondering what she's thinking.

"My head hurts and Carver says I need cognitive therapy before I can go back to work."

"Carver?" Kelly knows he's heard the name before in passing.

"Is the best neurologist in the state as well as my ex."

"Okay." He'd prefer the best neurologist in the state hadn't seen his girl naked but beggars can't be choosers. "I'm no doctor but I thought we could try a few things to jog a memory."

He pulls out his phone and plays "All of Me." By John Legend.

"Sound familiar?" she rests her head on his shoulder.

"Slightly."

"You always have a lingering scent of wood smoke and soap. It's soothing, I feel safe but I have no clue why." She said softly closing her eyes.

"It'll come to you." He whispers back.

"Why does the last text I sent you say "Bite me Severide?" She asked never opening her eyes.

"You were mad at me." He smiled kissing her forehead.

"Why?"

"Because I messed your "I love you." Moment by not saying it back."

She opens her eyes "oh well, your sick bed confession makes sense now, I suppose you are either killer in bed or a keeper because the only men I've told I loved them are my dad and brothers."

"I'm both." He grinned.

"You're an ass." She swatted his shoulder.

"You tell me that a lot." He confesses through laughter.

"How long have we been together?"

He takes his thumb and tries to smooth out the quirk in her brow. "Six months last week. You slept through it." He runs his thumb down the line of her nose and over her lips.

"Makes me sad I can't remember anything."

"Here." He hands her his phone. "Look through it."

She comes to the first photo. She sits in her chair he stands behind her leaned down into the frame. You can see a Ferris wheel lit up behind them.

"The Make a Wish Chicago Children's Hospital fundraiser." He answers her unasked question.

Next was a picture of Hadley and Liv standing next to a potty chair with prideful smiles.

"You potty trained Hadley for your mom."

"And you felt the need to commemorate it in a photo? Alright now I know I must love you!" She smiled up at him.

"It was an accomplishment only like ten accidents over 3 days."

"Do you want kids?" She looks over at him and shoots him a grin.

"You've never asked me that."

"Uh sorry…" She shook her head.

"No, its fine yes I want kids."

"Do you?"

"Yes, I want to adopt as well as have my own."

"What's your stopping number?" he asked

Her answer is confident this she knows. "Six."

"Nice round number." She flips to the next picture. She sits in his car his cubs cap on her pony tailed head. Shades on and sunlight streaming in around her.

"Road trip… Damn you look good there." He looks over shoulder

She has a vague impression of bare skin beneath her hands. "Didn't we…"

"Do it in back seat on the side of the road? Yeah."

In the next four she's some form of naked. "Kelly!"

"No one's seen them I swear." He grins at her all white teeth and glittery eyes. Her heart stutters a bit.

Then there's a picture of them kissing in Molly's Bar. She stares at it hard. She knows it's inappropriate but suddenly she has the overwhelming urge to know the feel of his lips and the scraping sensation of his 5 o'clock shadow on her skin.

"What?"

"Nothing." She shakes her head and swallows hard.

"No what?" He pushes.

"It's going to sound stupid."

"Try me baby."

"Can I kiss you?" she asks blush creeping into her cheeks.

"Just a second."

He stands and ditches his jacket and his shoes.

"Getting pretty comfortable for just a kiss Kell." She said.

"Kell… yep it's coming back. You have never kissed you; it won't stop at just one." He pulls back the covers.

She laughed. "Did you a really just work a potato chip jingle into conversation."

"I guess I did, scooch over you always take your half out of the middle."

"It's a twin bed!" She points out but scoots over and he lies beside her. He turns and reaches out to caress her cheek, He kisses her gently little more than a peck when she leans and kisses him back his hand curls around the side of her neck and into her hair. He pulls her to him deepening the kiss.

He hears her sharp intake of breath and reminds himself to go slow for him it's something he's missed but for her it's new again. He lets her take control of the situation.

/-/-/-

He tastes like pumpkin latte and chocolate. She pulls on his shirt to get him closer. He pulls her so she's lying on top of him.

Her hair curtains his face as they go back to kissing. He breaks the kiss and presses a wonky line of kisses down her jaw to her neck.

"Livvy, you are going to need to tell me when to stop," his word are muffled against her vanilla scented skin.

"Don't. I'm- I'm good, touch me. Please…i- oooh you know about the spot behind my ear." She laughs and his pulse jumps.

"Boyfriend." He mutters as He wads her tank top up in one hand and pulls up to get his hand under. His short nails scrape and tickle up and down her back. He secures one hand on the back of her neck. He kisses her hard. He's quickly losing hold on the situation but he can't make himself care because whatever Liv's mind doesn't remember her body sure as hell does.

He rolls his hips into hers and she moves a hand lower to place against the hard line in his jeans.

"Is it always like this?" she asks panting with a laugh. She kisses down his chin and over his Adam's apple to edge of his clavicle hidden beneath the collar of his dark green Henley shirt.

"Every time. We've got chemistry in spades Babe." He lazily threads his fingers in her hair.

"We can't do this; I don't think I'm cleared for this kinda thing. And it's the hospital." She said not looking up too intent on driving him crazy

"We've had sex here before. On call room, break room and your office floor."

"Really?" this does make her head snap up

He tugs her hair and pulls her back up to meet his mouth in a quick messy kiss. "Really, you're going to have to say the actual word stop Liv, I'm faithful but I'm also a bit of nympho and it's been a while."

She laughs and he goes to work forming a hickey on her shoulder. "Fuck how do I keep my hands off you?"

"You don't. I like it that way, use those hands however you want Doc." His smile falls on her skin.

"Stop!" Comes an irritated male voice. They break apart. Cole looks angry but Kelly can't make himself care because Liv with her mussed hair kissed to fullness lips and a blush creeping into her face she's never looked better to him. In this moment his chest is tight with just how much he loves her he'll never feel bad about that.

"Hi Daddy." She tries to pull off a smile but it falls flat.

"Olivia." He said tersely.

"And I gotta go." Kelly gets up.

"Coward." Liv retorts.

"No really my sick leave is up I took a swing shift." He said throwing on his jacket.

"What do you do?" She finger combs her hair fixing the spots he'd touched and pulled. Kelly will never admit this to anyone but it makes him sad to see it.

"I'm a fire fighter babe." He answers distractedly while stepping into his boots and tying the laces.

"Oh ok then."

He kissed her. "I love you."

"I believe that. Is it okay to say be careful?" She tilts her head in question.

"You do it every day Liv." He answers laughing and smiles.

"Then be careful Kelly."

"I will love you."

"See ya Cole." Kelly said and Liv's laughter follows him out the door.

"Dad," She whispered as Kelly disappeared from view. "I'm dating a firefighter."

"I know that, you don't have to whisper."

"Did your head explode?"

"Almost. As long as you're happy baby, but yeah almost." He kissed her temple.

"I think I was happy."

"You were and are happy."

=/-/-./-/-

"Look I understand your reluctance but we are practically living together as it is and they aren't going to release her on her own recognizance because right now she has none. The two of you have Rainey and six other kids to deal with at home. I promise to take care of her." He says as they stand outside her hospital room.

"You are living together?" Cole asked.

"We didn't label it but she has- had a key before losing them in the collapse." He stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocks back on his heels.

"Where's my tooth brush?" she called out.

"You have one at my place Babe." He hollers back.

"Cole Liv is thirty; she can do as she pleases." Mara points out.

"Do you intend to marry my daughter? I mean you were living together and you refused to tell her you loved her so what was or is your next step? Because my daughter is not meant to be some man's pit stop. "He said firmly.

Kelly looks down at his feet slightly uncomfortable with the topic as much as he plans to spend his life with her because he is committed to her marriage something he doesn't think will work for him. "I need Liv to remember she loves me before anything else." He looks back up.

"You want the truth? I learned a long time ago I'm not the marrying kind; it's just paper and ink. I am committed to Livvy, you don't like me that's fine you don't have too but I am not going anywhere I am going to build a life with Liv we might get married we might not. Right now, I just want to take care of her." He holds the eye contact until Cole nods and looks away.

-/-/-/-

"I live here?" She looks around the ultra-modern loft apartment.

He flips on the lights and wheels her into the living room. "Pretty much, the last time you slept at your house was when you and Viv got drunk at Molly's."

"I don't remember that, how drunk? And who the fuck is Molly?"

"Not very we made out all night and ate pizza while we laughed at Mills and Molly's is a bar."

"I made out with you in a bar? Huh, haven't done that since college." She looks up the stairs "Who's up there?"

"Shay and I used to but I switched with Otis when we got serious.

"Is there anything we haven't done?" she changes the subject.

"Uh," he leaned down and whispered. "Anal. That's about it though."

"I'm a trollop!"

"No, you're just very comfortable in your skin and are sexually expressive and that's perfectly healthy." He provides.

"You're a total slut and he made you that way, but he's like a 20 on the scale and you are happy go with it!" Erin said dropping a bag by Liv's feet."

"Explain the damn scale Olivia!"

"Can't its sacred. Sorry Kelly…is it Benjamin?"

"Yes!" He smiled.

/=/=/=/=

Kelly and Shay are both working so she walks around the house in total silence looking around. There's a picture of she and Kelly on his bedside table. They look happy, she looks like she belongs there with him in his arms smiling brightly at the camera but none of it pushes forward any memory.

"Hey," comes from close behind her softly spoken barely qualifying as a word.

"Viv, you scared me be louder."

"What ya doin Deuce?" She sits on the edge of the bed.

"Deuce? Finally something I remember!"

"Could be worse, you could be Quattro like me."

"Think they'll ever stop numbering us?"

"Doubt it. What ya doing in here?"

"Trying to remember, what if it never comes back Vivi?

"Don't!"

"I'm a doctor I know-"

"Don't say it! You say it and it'll have power."

"I know that I love- loved him I can feel that I just can't remember anything of how we got here. To living together and having a life. I'm scared because the way he looks at me, like he can't breathe without me makes me want it but it doesn't bring anything back!" Her voice breaks and tears swim in her eyes.

She sniffs the tears back. "How'd I meet him?"

"He rescued you. Literally, wanna go have some lunch?"

"That's one hot Knight…" she said glancing at the picture.

"I'm gayer than Adam Lambert and I've considered doing Severide." Vivi admits grinning.

"And on that note you're buying me lunch."

-/-/-/-

"This is firehouse 51?" Liv asked a young black man washing a truck.

"Livvy!" He responds. She gives him a blank look. "Oh right short term memory wiped. "I'm Peter Mills. I'll get Severide for you! How you been?"

"I'm alive."

"Liv! Hey baby, what are you doing here?" He walked toward her.

"Carve said I need to stick to my routines and apparently I bring you lunch a lot, and other than getting lost I did fine."

"Are you alright? Do you feel confused, disoriented?" he kissed her cheek.

"Dawson! Come check out my girl please."

Dawson jumps out of the ambulance.

"No, please there's no need to call in the Calvary a little confusion is normal. I'm not feeling faint or dizzy I'm fine. So please take your burger before it gets cold and shut up." She shoves the bag into his hands.

"Stop doctoring yourself Babe." He chastises.

"Kelly if I don't remember stuff soon they're not going to let me be a doctor and I know you are concerned and love me but please stop squinting at me like that I know you are checking pupillary reflexes." She yells and Mills and Dawson stare awkwardly off to other places.

"Fine, come with me." He leads her back to his quarters.

He slams the door behind them. "You wanna know what I want to do Livvy, I want to kiss you every single time I see you I want to kiss you it's my gut instinct but they keep telling me not to confuse you with my emotions, my wants, my needs!" he pitches the burger bag on to his desk.

"What do you want? What do you need?" She retorts arms crossed.

"Right now," He leans on the arms of her chair crowding into her space. She can smell the spearmint of his gum. "My immediate want is to skip lunch and make love to you. I need my girlfriend back and I'm trying to help you get there but that means even though I'm thinking I wanna kiss you," He grabs her face gently and looks into her eyes." I'm checking the damn pupil response to make sure you don't have another brain bleed so please be patient Livvy, I'm not trying to mother hen you out of overberrance but because I have too!" he kissed her softly on the mouth and moved out of touching distance.

"I'm trying." She said tears in her eyes.

"I know you are. Don't cry, I didn't mean to be so forceful, I just- when I'm frustrated I get grouchy and you usually throw it right back at me." He hands her a napkin to dab at her eyes.

"Stop crying baby it'll give you another headache." He said softly.

" I know, I bitch back?" She sniffs.

"You bitch back with the best of em'."

"I got lost in my home town and Erin bailed on me for a case the bitch!" he pulled her chair toward where he sat on the foot of his bed. "You can kiss me I like it when you kiss me, we don't have sex here do we? What if there's-"he kissed her

"Shut up Baby, Livvy, just trust me and shut up and kiss." He said and then went back to kissing her.

She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses back sinking into the sensation. "When you kiss me my brain gets quiet and fuzzy, I like it." She licks her lips and he is transfixed for a second.

"So I'm a mute button." He kissed her and pulled her from the chair onto bed in his lap.

"Does help if I say you're a sexy mute button""

"Now you're sounding like my girlfriend."

"Bout time I got something right."

He nudged her chin up to catch her gaze. "Hey, look at me. I love you. You, in all your forms even this one. You aren't doing anything wrong Livvy." He says earnestly.

"Ok so don't hate me because I like kissing you and as much as the idea of sex is appealing to me, I don't remember ever having been intimate with you and we're in a totally full firehouse. I just can't. I can't its weird and freaky and I can't."

"It was your idea firehouse sex the first time… all you but-"her mouth gapes at that revelation even as he kissed her once last time. "That's okay, I can wait." He laughs at her thunderstruck expression.

"Really? I- You mean that?"

"Yes, but I say that halfheartedly because I've woken up with morning wood and no girlfriend fix for like a month now."

"You're insatiable, insufferable and incorrigible."

"Careful, that big word thing turns me on." Her brow furrows.

"You think I'm lying, I'm not."

"Kelly!" she laughed as he tickled her sides.

"I love you, come on I'll share my fries."

She kissed him before getting back in her chair. "This replacement chair sucks."

"Where'd your Dad find it?" He asked grabbing his food and digging in.

"Pawn shop."

"I'll see what I can do. Fry?" he fed her one.

""You really do love me don't you?""

"Like crazy, why?"

"You're sharing food. You don't do that."

"I never told you that, you remembered it." He winked at her.

-/-/-

"Your call light is on Rainey Jane." She rolled into the room.

"I said that I didn't want to see anyone but Mom." The girl sits in the bed in pajamas her hair thrown up and a scowl on her delicate featured face.

"And I didn't listen. Do you need pain meds? I'll get you some." She checked the chart.

"Any phantom pains? How's it healing?" Liv laid hand on her foot.

"My stump you mean. How's my stump healing?"

"Okay, Rain let's be real. We're lucky we're even her and I get that you are upset but-"

"Upset! Upset? They hacked off my fucking leg and you promised me they wouldn't! You promised Livvy!" she yelled.

"I don't remember that- I'm sorry Rain, I'm sorry this happened and I'm sorry-"She threw a Kleenex box at Liv who ducked.

"Take your apologies somewhere else and give em to someone who believes you!" She said spite dripping from her words and tears tracking down her face.

"Okay, I'll go. Just hang tight for fifteen minutes and they'll give you your meds."

"Get out!" She screamed.

"I love you." And Liv rolled out of the room.

-/-/-/-

When Kelly comes in at 8 the next morning he strips down and climbs in bed with a still sleeping Liv and doesn't give it much thought.

"Hey Babe, I'm home." He kisses her cheek she doesn't stir at all. "Right, medication." He pulls her into him and he curls around her and drops into a stone cold sleep.

She tosses and turns for most of the time. She wakes screaming.

"Baby!" He catches an elbow to the gut.

"Livvy Sweetheart." She slaps at his shoulders. He pins her hands to the bed. "Baby it's me!" he hears Vivi and Shay rushing down the stairs. "You're safe baby, its okay." The wildness slowly leaves her eyes as wakefulness takes over.

"It was awful… just falling everything falling people metal and huge concrete slabs. I thought I was going to die…I couldn't breathe…" Her breath hitches and tears leaked from the corner of her eyes on to the pillow case.

"Let her up asshole." Vivi Admonishes Kelly.

"I hit him. I'm sorry."

"I can take it baby you're fine. Here let's try sitting up."

He helps her sit up. "You cool Liv? Dizzy?"

"No, what if it never comes back and I'm stuck with that fucking nightmare shit in my head?"

"It's gonna come back Liv, just hang on." Vivi said gently. She concentrates on breathing and the feel of Kelly's hand on her back to bring down her panic.

"I can't remember Josh; I can't remember how Joshua became a part of our family Viv! I've lost a year and half." She said taking a deep breath and watches as Kelly's face knits with concern.

"For like a minute solid I had no clue where I was or who you were Kelly? How can you even want a life with me if I can't remember you?"

"Will you just trust that I do?" He holds her face in his hands brushing away tears with his thumbs.

"And Rainey hates me for making a promise and breaking it and don't remember making it, the only thing I can think is I told her I wouldn't let them amputate so that I could keep her alive. Hope's important and we were down there forever. I just had to keep her alive. I had too she was my responsibility."

Kelly hugged her. "It's not you, not really you know that right… she's not really angry with you she's angry at everything because she's seventeen and her life changed permanently." She laid her head on Kelly's chest and listen to beat of his heart.

Vivi climbed up in the bed and hugged her too. "Liv ya gotta stop holding it all in."

"I feel left out." Shay said.

Kelly laughed. "Come on in."

After getting in on the group hug. "Dude no wonder she freaked she found a naked stranger in bed with her!"

"Gross freakin' straight men." Vivi griped.

"Liv knows or knew I slept naked it wasn't a problem."

"Although I feel loved can we stop hugging because pretty soon I'll feel the need to put it out there that I don't swing or share." Liv joked making them all laugh.

-/-/-/-

"Hey Rain, can I come in?" Kelly tapped on the door frame.

"Oh just who I want to see me in this condition my sister's extremely hot and totally unavailable boyfriend."

"Thanks I think."

"You're Welcome, don't tell Liv I said that please. Things are hard enough for us right now as it is."

"I know that's why I'm here. I think you could use a little perspective Rain." He stands at the end of the bed.

"I-"

"I'm on rescue squad do you know what that means?"

She shrugged. "When buildings fall I save people. That arena was built to hold 1,855 people.2, 000 tickets were sold to the Lorde concert. That building was one of the oldest in the city and just barely structurally sound. Sixty people died four hundred and twelve injured. One hundred and nineteen of those were seriously or critically injured. The two of you fell two stories and were buried under three feet of concrete rebar and brick. It took close to six hours to dig you two out of it." Rainey's eyes get big and wide but he trudges on.

"She didn't purposefully lie to you. She was giving you a reason to keep breathing. What you guys went through was tragic and totally unfair but guess what honey, you weren't the only one affected. The woman I am almost positive is the love of my life wakes up and doesn't recognize me. You don't have your left leg and Liv might never get to be a doctor again. We all lost things but you are alive sixty people who just wanted to listen to music the same as you can't say the same thing. Sixty people, more even buried their Rainey's their Liv's…. be grateful we didn't have to please."

-/-/-/-

"Hey baby can you drop by the firehouse I have something for you. Oh yeah in case you have the sleepy forgets again It's Kelly your boyfriend and I love you okay bye babe." He leaves a voicemail. He stood in the laundry room on the phone.

"That was downright cute." Casey sat down his basket.

"Shut up Casey."

"You know it's totally okay to turn into a giant mush because you completely love someone to the point of embarrassment. I've been there." He grins.

"Thanks for the approval vote. Shut up." He walked out of the laundry room.

-/-/-/-

She rolls into the firehouse. "Hey Kell I'm here and I didn't even get lost!" she rolls into the common room and sees everyone staring at her. "Hey y'all sorry I forget it's not my house and to use my inside voice.

Chief Bowden walks over to stand beside her. "This is Kelly's house which means it's your house and these guys wouldn't know an inside voice if it bit them in the ass. It's good to see you Liv."

"Hey Babe." Kelly tilts back in his chair and looks at her. He reads her shirt it has a heart and heart monitor feed on it across the top it says "Hot enough to stop your heart." On the bottom. "Skilled enough to restart it."

"That's funny and accurate." He got up and walked over. "I'll be right back." He kissed the top of her head. "The brunette in the kitchen is my sister Katie. Go say hi."

She turned and stared at him. "Wha- you have a sister since when?"

"Oh right that conversation got zapped I'll fill you in gimmie a second."

-/-/-/-

"Hi I'm-"Liv approaches the girl behind the cook top.

"Kelly's girlfriend Olivia. I've heard a lot about you. He's crazy about you!"

Kelly whistled at them drawing their attention he sits in a turquoise wheelchair spinning and popping wheelies. "Got you a present Livvy!"

"Yay! New not crappy legs!" She lights up like a Christmas tree and he feels proud of himself.

"You think that's good." He pushes a button and moves levers on either side of him and it hydraulically unfurls the chair and pushes him to a standing position.

"Legs that stand! No fucking way!" She giggled excitedly.

"Well I know you hate the standing frame now you won't need one. It'll come in handy for work and when you are cooking too."

"How'd you-"

"I know a guy who knows a guy who donated it. It's fit to you specifically and my butt hurts so I'm gonna get up. You wanna try?"

"Yes!" Helps her into the chair. Then he sits the knee supports in.

"Do up the seat belt and then slide back the releases and pull back the levers and up you go."

"Wait! I'm recording it for Vivianne." Shay hollers getting out her phone. "Okay go!"

She follows his directions and slides up into a standing position. She looks at him with tears in her eyes. "What baby? Don't cry, hey…" He kissed her and carefully wiped a tear so as not to smudge her make up.

"You don't understand this is as close as I've come to standing on my own in a very long time. I can barely remember the last time I stood on my own or walked."

He kissed her. "You're eye level with me this is weird."

"From Viv tell the mother fucker its official I like him. Damn you Douchey McFireballs for being a good guy." Shay read and they laugh.

"How do I sit back down? I want to help Katie with dinner."

"No you just hang out with Kelly when you go back to work you won't get much time together."

"You sure I'm used to feeding hordes of people my family is one."

"I'm sure."

"Just do the same thing in the opposite order babe."

"When they gonna let you go back Doc?" Casey asked.

"I think they want me to at least recognize Kelly's face in the morning first."

"I have a plan for that Liv." Kelly adds in

"What? Post its?"

"Not quite, I'm just gonna hope you don't elbow me every morning for like the next fifty years."

"You make me sound like the girl in 50 First Dates it's not that bad!"

"Easy for you to say, you didn't get socked in the gut." He pouts

"You forgot the slap that was dangerously close to your face." Shay said.

"You're both asses!"

"I only tease because I love you." He turned and pecked her on the lips.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: I own nothing but my characters and my pieces of the plot. This story is going to get sort of cannon divergent and it might crossover a little with Chicago PD but not enough to warrant crossover categorization! I hope you guys don't mind. Also There's a visual aide for the oldest 6 Grayne siblings on my profile! Younger 6 and Liv Parents are next! Thanks so much for all the reviews and alerts! Review if you liked it!-Meghan

 

Police sirens ring out signaling Erin is calling her. "Hey, what's up?" She turns in a slow circle trying to locate her pants.

"Eh nothing much there's a cartel dude chopping people's heads off. You?"

"Kelly you seen my pants? Wait what did you just say Erin?" She scowls.

"I said there's a cartel honcho beheading people it's not important did you let Severide take your pants off? Did you get laid?"

"No, I can't remember where I put them and Kelly and I have not had sex yet."

Erin sighed. "Have sex with the man its good sex you called and told me."

"I have a doctors appointment with Carver to I don't fucking know? Check my progress and Kelly wants to go, and I don't know how I feel about it."

"You're freaked out you only throw down F-bombs if you are freaked so Why?"

"Because it's awkward!"

"Do you love him? Not past you who may never come back but current you. Is current Liv in love with Kelly?"

"I- yeah and it really scares me because he loves me so much and I can't remember why." She groans. "What am I doing E? I just- it's Carver."

"Take him with you."

"I just don't want him to know I was the girl sleeping with her attending."

"That was your neuro rotation and it was forever ago." Erin points out.

"You're right."

"Always am."

"Don't get your head chopped off Detective Lindsay; it's being a waste off a whole lotta pretty."

"I love you Olivia more than just about anything." She can hear Erin's smile.

"I know, let's not get mushy crying makes my brains hurt. Love you too."

"I gotta go but beer and dish day?"

"I'll be there Molly's Bar is apparently the smoke eaters hang out and I get half price beer because I'm Kelly's latest flame. Never mind that I can't drink."

"Ooh ouch."

"Hermann wasn't being mean just himself apparently Kelly's a bit of a skirt chaser. Kinda glad I forgot that."

"Do not let your boyfriend kill your work husband."

"Don't kill Officer Hot Stuff Halsted!" she retorted.

"You remembered that!"

"I did Bye your bitchness."

"Bye Severide's Floozy Flame."

"Seriously Severide have you seen my pants? The high wasted tuxedo pants?" she turns to find him smiling at her from around a toothbrush and he holds out the pants.

=/=/=/=

"I was never unnerved by this room until just now." She said drumming her fingers on the padded exam table.

"Really? " He plays with a plastic model of a brain.

"Yes, Sweetheart? Put the occipital lobe back Carve is finicky."

"Carve huh?" his eyebrows rise as he puts the plastic brain back in its little skull cavity home.

"Don't do that. It's not even like that."

"The guy has Classical shit playing in his exam room." He points up to the ceiling speaker. "He screams snotty douche and I haven't met him yet."

"It's Bach and classical music is good for brain function."

"Well it makes me want to shoot myself. In the face." He leans on the table beside her.

"Please don't I like the face." She kisses his cheek and smiles at him.

"How do you know it's Bach?" he asks curiously.

"Because I like Bach. Its cello suite one in G I think." She squints in thought.

"G Major. Hey Olivia, how's the grey matter?" a guy with longish brown and an almost effeminately pretty sharp angled face says without looking up from her file. Wire rim classes hang in the collar of his wrinkled shirt.

He lanky and thin. He's a nerd. What did Liv see in him?

"Still there so I got that going for me. Carver this is Kelly my boyfriend."

"Hello." He said barely sparing Kelly a glance as he puts her file down and takes her face in his hands and delicately with obvious care touches the bones below her eye sockets. "Any tenderness."

"No."

"Good look down for me, now as you know you cracked your occipital bone. I'm going to check the drill and incision sites." When he puts his hands in her hair Kelly's blood pressure shoots up. "Hmm feels normal. I'm going to check your x-rays to make sure the bone is reknitting."

"What were you attracted too? He's a nerd and you're hot! Really hot!" Kelly said when he left.

"Mostly his brain he's the smartest person I know. It was a turn on but he's also a conceited ass." She whispers back.

"He looks twenty,

"He graduated Harvard at fourteen and he's 26."

He returns shortly. "Your bones look fine, the CT looks fairly fantastic. Here look." He puts them up on the light board. "What do you see Livvy, think like the doctor not the patient."

"I've spent the past month trying to get her to just be the patient and you-"Kelly complains.

"Nah, once a doctor always a doctor. What do you see?" he dismisses Kelly and forges on with Liv.

"Damage is light, not as severe as I'd of thought. So why can't I remember things I need to remember?" she cocked her head in thought.

"It's a mental block not a physical one Grayne." Carver nods knowingly he stuffs his hands in his pockets.

"I need my job back."

"I know." Kelly and Carver say at the same time.

-/-/-/-

"Okay Kelly I can't take the silent treatment one more second. What's wrong?" She stares straight ahead as they sit in the parked car outside Kelly's place.

"He had his hands all over you." He glares at her and her head whips around and she pins him with an icy look.

"He's my doctor its bad form to not examine me." She said all sarcasm and anger.

"Why does it have to be him?"

"Look I'm sorry I slept with my neurologist two years before I met you!" She sighed. "God Kelly it was two years ago cut me a break baby."

"What if the reason you can't remember anything is because you don't want too! What if you don't want to remember being with me. It wasn't important enough to stick it obviously means nothing."

"Kelly…" his attitude almost stings more than the words themselves. "You don't mean that."

"What? Like it hasn't crossed your mind."

"No, it hasn't actually, the brain doesn't work just one way Kelly, and it's been two months."

"It's been three." He sighs and stares at her for a long beat. Liv can't breathe the defeat that flits though his gaze scares her.

"Kelly please don't do what I think you're about too. I love you and any resistance you feel from me is because for the life of me I can't remember why you have one single reason to love me." She said being perfectly honest.

He blinks of all the things he thought might have held her back he'd never considered that. He reaches over brushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. "I love you because you're smart. I love you because you're strong, you're funny, you intimidate me, you make me work for your attention, I love you because of the way you love your family, You put me in my place if I need it. I love you because you kiss your hospital kiddos. I love you because you sing rap music in the shower. I love that when you are really, really tired you sleep on your belly and your butt sticks up in the air."

"It doesn't stick up really it sort of pokes out." She defends.

"It's cute." He leans across the seat to kiss her.

"It might not ever come back."

"I know so… we met on the fourth floor east window fire escape of the Porter Street Clinic."

-/-/-/-

"Are you sure you're ready? Because-"He stumbles through the door carrying her. She's kissing the breath out of him and he can barely think.

"Kelly you took my top off on the front stoop and now the neighbor boy knows I have my Kmart Bra on. So yes, I'm ready." She answers kissing down his chin.

When her tongue swipes over his Adam's apple his knees nearly buckle.

"Bedroom?" he asks undoing her bra and hitching her higher in his arms to kiss down her chest.

"Bedroom, floor, random wall, whatever…" She said breathing sharply as his mouth finds her breast. She leans back on the bannister.

"You are seriously the love of my life Livvy. Bedroom what I'm gonna do to you-"He mumbles into her skin/

She pulls his face back to hers. "Don't talk about it just do it." She kisses him.

"Right." He heads toward the bedroom.

-/-/-/-/-

"Viv is your sister the type to have sex in the middle of the day?" Shay asks picking up a woman's button down in the potted plant by the door buttons scattered across the stoop.

"I don't track my sister's sexual habits that's creepy."

"Well I just found her shirt by the front door." She unlocks the door grabbing the mail.

"Go Livvy, go Livvy, go ga-"

"There's something very wrong with you. "Shay comments stepping into the apartment.

"And her bra is on the bannister… and Kelly's shirt is on the-"moans and the bed creaking cuts off her statement.

There's a very loud satisfied moan followed by rhythmic thudding of the headboard. . "Okay, how much and your sister feel because that sounded like it felt damn good."

"Get out of there! That's disgusting I can't answer that!" Vivi cried out exasperated.

There's another thud and a breathy moan.

"Jesus Kelly don't fuck her clean through the wall! I brought in the mail bye!" She turns and leaves.

_/-/-/-

"So there's something I'm curious about." She said as they lay in bed. She lies on her stomach peering up at him.

"Okay," he draws imaginary designs down her back settling his hand on her rear end.

"If something happens to you will I be told?"

"Of course." He leans up to kiss her shoulder

"How? I want to know what to look for so… so I can prepare myself."

"It depends, if I'm injured Shay will come tell you. We've talked about it. If I'm dead, the Chaplain, Chief, and Shay will come to you and explain what happened and what your options are as far as benefits and funeral plans will go." He answers plainly like it's a rote answer.

"Just thinking about it makes me nauseous Kelly. I guess I have already accepted the dangers of your job we've been together eight months now, I just it's not any easier the second time 'round."

She scoots up in the bed and lays her head on his chest.

"Nine months …" He kisses her on the top of the head." But this much I can promise you, I'm careful I think about you every time I get on my truck and the people who say they aren't friends with their fear? They're lying. It goes against everything in human nature to do what I do but it saves lives and it saved yours and for that I'm beyond grateful."

"Damn now I know how you got to me Severide." He plays with her hair and she can feel herself drifting off.

"I love how take the E out of my name and call me Sevride." He smiles and looks down to see her sleeping.

=/=/=/=/=

Kelly walks in from returning Katie's dishes to find Liv standing at the island in her chair Enter Sandman blares through the speakers of the surround sound and his heart stops.

"Who'd you lose Livvy?"

"No one yet. Sadie Helton is losing her battle they don't expect her to last the week." She answers without looking at him.

"Sadie? The four year old flirt? That Sadie? Your Sadie?" He walks over.

She puts down the chopping knife carefully. She sniffed back the tears she'd been holding in all day. "The one and only." When his arms wrap around her middle it all unravels. The tears fall until she's sure the only thing holding her in one piece is him.

He buries his face in the hair on top of her head; it smells like coconuts and summer. He just waits until she's done. Waits and holds on.

Once she's cried out she goes to wipe her eyes he catches her hands. "You're chopping' jalapeños that's gonna hurt Babe."

"Oops, nice save."

"That's the job. Just not at 51 anymore."

"Do what? Say that again." She twists too look back at him and he moves to stand beside her leaned on the sink.

She crosses his arms and she waits for his answer as he chews the inside of his cheek irritably. "Dragon Lady got us on a technicality, we damaged a city dumpster to save a man from being crushed it was all the bureaucratic leverage she needed to shut us down and she did."

"That Bitch!"

"If I wasn't so pissed myself you getting so indignantly miffed would be precious." He smiles." Though I agree she is a bitch next shift is my last one at 51."

"Are you okay?"

"I have to be." He kissed her. What are we having' for dinner Boo?"

"Fajitas, and no memory or not I still hate being called Boo!"

"Schnookims?" He suggests grinning.

Did you inhale an extraordinary amount of smoke today?"

"Nah, I just like making your face do the thing."

"What thing?"

"It scrunches when you are displeased."

"Don't know what to do with you or without you Kelly." She said shaking her head.

"You could always just kiss me until you work it out." He said getting a beer.

When he returned to her side she turned her head and kissed him. "Love you."

"Love you too, after dinner I'm meeting Clarke for a beer."

"Drink one for the injured girl please."

-/-/-/-

Kelly's phone chimes. "How's the wife Severide?" Clarke asks as he looks down and reads his text.

Liv: you wanna know what happens when you leave me with 2 drunken lesbians and Erin? We make lipstick out of Crayons and lip-sync to Melissa Etheridge! Help me you sorry fucker!"

Kelly laughed. "Right now my Girlfriend is mad because she's the only sober person in a room of drunk people!"

They drink awhile and swap stories.

His phone rings. "What's up Baby?"

"Make Shay stop eye fucking my sister in front of me its gross."

"Are you gonna take me home tonight?" Kelly hears the uproarious opening line to Queen's Fat Bottomed Girls.

Olivia laughs and it makes him smile. "You are gonna be sorry you missed this Kell!"

"No, I'm not! Lindsay! Fine, fuck it! See you in a while Kelly no driving!" he can picture Liv being drug into the craziness.

After Kelly saves Clarke from killing his wife's ex he gets a picture mail.

Grayne & Lindsay Cosmetics present Smurf Jizz lipstick. Below the Text both girls smile at him wearing crayon blue lipstick.

"I have to go home before they turn my woman into Rainbow Brite Limited Hooker Edition." Kelly tells Hermann and Clarke.

-/-/-/-

"Hey Baby…" he calls out.

"Couch."

"Hey you," he picks up her feet and sits down dropping her feet in his lap.

"Hey."

"This song's pretty." I like to be with me when I'm with you by Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors.

"It reminds me of you because no matter who I am or who I was I like me when I'm with you. Even if I had nothing, I have everything with you."

"Look at you all philosophical and shit."

"Nope, I'm happy in spite of everything. You still sad?"

"A little but what ya gonna do right?" he trails his fingers up the bottom of her foot despite that she won't feel it.

"I say fight Ultimo Bitch Dragon but that's just me." She shrugs.

"Ultimo bitch Dragon are you drunk?" He laughs.

"Ultimo Dragon is a pro wrestler. Don't look at me like that, I have brothers!"

He moved down the couch and laid over her. "You could always distract me." He kissed her. "Ooh. The crayon lipstick taste good."

"It's coconut oil."

"I'll carry you to bed right after I leave a monster hickey on your neck."

"About that Erin's drunk asleep in our bed."

He whined. "But Baby…"

"We can have sex on the couch for old time sake and Yes, I remember."

He looked down at her. "There's still a drunk girl who isn't you in my bed."

"I'm not wearing any panties. "She said in consolation.

"You know how to get a man on track."

-/-/-/-

"Hey, Liv I just wanted to let you know we're fighting back. There's a kid outside with a petition the kid I saved a few months back, a few of us are gonna see what kind of pull we got so… call me back me back cause Ultimo Bitch Dragon is going down. Bye love you Boo!" He leaves her a message and goes to check out one of his angles.

Kelly leaves and comes back to find Nathan with a blanket and hot cocoa. 'Hey how's it coming?"

"I have three signatures me my mom and a pretty red head. She brought me cocoa and the blanket. She said your pumpkin latte was inside she'd be back."

He reads her name in scrawling script. Olivia B. Grayne MD. And then P.S. I'm the rescue girlfriend who makes Kelly look bad we had sex in the firehouse and really enjoyed it. #notsorry

"Damn I love her." He whispers to himself.

"I like the hash tag myself." Nathan states.

Kelly's drinking his latte when he hears a commotion. "Save 51 Save 51" the neighborhood is protesting.

Liv rolls up and Vivi pulled a bundled up Sadie behind them in a wagon. Kelly gets choked up. Liv mouths "No tears." She rolls up to him and pulls her chair to stand.

"Hey don't be sad. She wanted to see your firehouse before the closed it. Fresh air and sunshine's good for her. Smile because she is ok? This is the one thing she wants besides Pizza and her Mom. Both which are on the way."

He kissed her. "I don't know how you do it."

"One patient at a time."

He kissed her cheek. "Sadie wanna see my truck."

"James is on his way too!" Sadie tells him smiling bright.

-/-/-/-

"What are you doing here?" aren't you on some kind of medical leave?" Rainey's voice rings out from behind her.

Liv looks out the window at the April rain falling. "I am, one of my patients is dying I'm staying until her parents arrive." She hands her sister a Ritz cracker as she walks over on crutches. "You're up! Whose ring do I need to kiss for that little miracle?"

"Kelly."

"What?" Liv glances over as Rainey nibbles the cracker.

"He didn't over step Sis; he just gave me a wakeup call."

"He loves me huh?"

"I'd say he does. Sorry your patient is dying."

"So am I she's four. Still has her baby teeth."

"We are lucky." Rainey reaches over and holds Liv's hand.

"Yup,"

"You mad at me Liv?"

"Nope. I'm tired." As if the words bring it on she yawns.

"Come on I'll wait with you."

-/-/-/-

They play Uno while Sadie sleeps.

Crider comes running in. "Fifty One just called a Mayday! I caught it coming over dispatch in the ER sounds like Kelly."

"What's a Mayday?" Rainey asks.

"He's trapped and they have to go in after him." Liv answers her eyes grow large and fill with fear and tears.

"Go! I've got her you go."

=/=/=/=/=

She rolls as fast as her arms will allow only to be stopped at admittance where the radio system is stationed.

"I swear to God if you don't give the fucking radio right now I will go right through you!" She threatens a muscled up orderly they have holding her back from the radio and the door. "I have five brothers and I bite! Try me!" She shoots him a dirty look.

A horde of fire fighters rush in and she does a quick scan and can't find Kelly or Matt.

"Kelly!" she makes her chair go to standing position. "Kelly!" she catches sight of Bowden and her heart drops. This is bad.

"Come on baby please…" she begs quietly.

Shay rushes by her with a baby. "Do a full work up Crider!" she orders her intern.

"I know."

"Leslie, where's Kelly?" She asks Shay.

"Behind me!"

Dawson flies by her with Casey on a gurney and for a sickening moment she's relived. Kelly trails behind looking shell shocked.

"I thought it was you," he hugs her and she smells smoke and sweat and dirt. "I thought it was you I couldn't breathe. I thought..."

"Shh, I'm fine Liv."

"I'm going to watch Crider treat the baby. "

"Paging Dr. Carver Collins."

"Hey Liv," he calls and she turns back.

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna be with you even if your memory never comes back. We'll make new ones."

"Sounds like a plan. I love you." She leaves catching up to Crider and the baby.


	7. Chapter 7

"So while you were in the shower Carver called me?" Liv said lying on the bed. She looks at Kelly facing away from her at the end of the bed.

"Yeah? What about?" Kelly drops his towel and she is temporarily distracted by hard lines of his body.

"Are you checking me out?" he asked putting on his pants.

"Totally, sorry anyway. He wants me to take a competency exam to prove to the hospital board I haven't lost my chops. If I pass..."

He turned his head to look over his shoulder at her a slow smile creeping across his face. "If you pass you get to be Hot Doc again!" He climbed on the bed and swan dived on top of her. "That's great Baby!" he kissed her.

"I have to pass first!" he blew a raspberry into the crook of her neck. "Kelly!" She laughed.

"You're gonna do fine baby."

"So this teaching job, you into it?" She runs her fingers through his hair.

"Eh, its one course we'll see but I'm all for giving you an anatomy lesson." He wiggles his eyebrows.

She laughs. "Just as a refresher?"

"Of course what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't help the great Dr. Grayne back into her lab coat? And then back out of it again?"

She snickered. "Insufferable." She runs her thumb across his bottom lip.

"Sensationally sexy," He kisses the pad of her thumb.

"Conceited."

"I was talking about you Olivia." He grins.

"You can't be late for your first day as fire teacher, you need to get dressed." She kissed him.

"Fire Teacher?"

"Is that not the proper terminology?" She shrugs a shoulder.

"I know you don't really want me to get dressed I saw you give me the up down just now."

"Yeah that's true but needs must and all that jazz babe." She slaps his rear.

-/-/-/-

"Well he was not what I was expecting at all..." Jones said lowly to Dawson.

"He's very taken with and by someone its best you keep your eyes and thoughts to yourself. Just friendly advice." Gabi jogged off.

-/-/=/-

First and foremost the most important- "Kelly's phone sang out "Doctor, Doc-"he answers before Gabi's snicker turns into a full laugh.

"Hey Liv," he pauses. "I am but yeah I'll have an hour so come down. No, it's fine. You can do this Liv don't over think it. "He sighed laughing. "No babe they're not gonna make you retake the boards. Alright sounds great-"

"Tell Liv I said hi!" Gabi shouts out/

"Tell her when gets here candidate. No, Dawson. Alright love you too bye."

-/-/-/-

She stares at the aerial ladder with an uneasy familiarity and trepidations dread. Kelly's talking some guy down and she grips the takeout bag from Smoke Daddy's in her hand.

Dawson looks like she's about to walk over but she waves her off with a head nod. Kelly's taking this very serious she won't be getting trouble on Liv's account.

After what feels like an interminable wait Kelly starts climbing down from the demo structure and rig.

"Nice work Jones, Dawson." He compliments.

"But it almost got a little crazy up there huh?" The brunette Liv takes to be Jones said. The flirty manner in which it is said coupled with the fact that Liv's sitting not even five feet from them sets her teeth on edge.

"If I want commentary on the drill I'll ask for it but until the Jones accepts the compliment that's given. No more, no less."`

"Yes Sir."

"Good." Kelly turned to Liv. "Hey baby, what'd you bring me?"

"Smoke Daddy's." She said side eying Jones.

"Not even on my radar" he answered the unspoken question and tries not to smile Liv won't find her own jealousy as sweet and charming as he does. "Let's go eat and I'll quiz you on the bones of the hand or something."

"You can't call them all the "Sexy Bone."

"I'd never…"

"Can I go say Hi to Dawson?"

"Sure that's fine are you sure they aren't all called sexy bones cause…"

She shoves the food at Kelly and goes in the direction where Dawson stands with Jones. "Oh Dear God…" Kelly muttered and walked off before he saw too much.

She rolls up and puts her chair into standing position and hugs Gabi. "Hey." She said normally then kissed Gabi on the cheek. "Brought you Bar-B-Que it's by your locker. I didn't want them to think you were teacher's pet or something." She whispers.

"Hey you really like that thing don't you?" Gabi teased smiling.

"I love it, I randomly give myself stand ovations just to keep Kelly's ego in check." She joked

"The pony tails back does that mean Doc Livvy's back?" Gabi tugged on it.

"Working on it."

"So have you heard from Shay about her new partner?"

She shook her head "No but I heard from Viv who was none too pleased apparently this Rafferty chick is a homophobe and was all don't shove your alternative life style down my throat. So I told Viv to shove her tongue down Shay's throat. My alternative lifestyle would be all up in there but Shay's better than me. Took it on the chin!"

"Olivia Blair I'm hungry stop gossiping with Candidate Dawson." Kelly griped

She rolled her eyes. "Yes master right away sir. Love ya Gab see you at Molly's."

"First healthy girl Beer's on me Liv."

"Holding you too it." She moved her chair to sitting position and began rolling off.

She looked back giving Jones a sharp smile. "Oh it was nice meeting you Candidate Jones hopefully if you maintain focus on the job you'll make a wonderful fire fighter."

"Bitch." Jones mutters as she rolls off.

"Jones that was her being nice to you. She hasn't even shown her teeth yet and she's got em' don't think that just because she's in that chair that she'll be railroaded by anyone because she won't because she is a bitch a damn tough one." Gabi advised.

-/-/=/-/-/-/-

"And this here what's this called?" He kissed her fingertips.

"Distal Phalanges."

He kissed her palm. "This?"

"The palm of my hand." She said smiling.

He smiled into her hand. "I hate to do it babe but, I gotta go." He leaned over and kissed her. When he stood from the table he pulled out her ponytail and looped the tie around his wrist. "You're studying you don't need it." He said walking backwards grinning at her.

"Asshole." She retorted pretending to be irritated before tossing her hair just goad him.

He laughed. "I love you. See you at home." He turned and walked toward his students.

=/=/=/=

Liv's text message tone wakes her from her nap. It's a snap chat of Viv wearing Librarian glasses and serious expression. "How's the studying going?" reads the caption.

She naps a picture of an array of note cards spread out on the bed. "I love E really but one more note card and I'll scream." Is her snappy reply.

Her phone rings. "Where's McFireballs? Why isn't he helping you? Is someone else hot for fire teacher?"

"Think he's working. Oh I know someone's hot for teacher but what matters is someone else is hot for their Doctor so whatever." She answers smiling wolfishly to herself.

"Hun, he's not workin' Les is right next to me so…"

"Les? Ooh it's serious."

"Pretty much."

"I'm getting in my chair to make sure Kelly didn't fall asleep on the couch again."

"Check the shower too!" Viv retorts like she has personal experience.

"Oh My God! Kelly's not asleep on the couch because Katie and Otis are making out on it!" she whispers to ViviAnne.

The door knob turns and they spring apart. Kelly looks at them a second. "Baby I'm home!" he calls out.

"Gotta go!" She hangs up on her sister.

She rolled forward. "Hey."

He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Take a break from your cram session and come have a beer at Molly's."

"I don't want to put actual clothes on Kelly."

"I dig the Eeyore pants leave em on'. How about you guys? "He gestured to Katie and Otis who made quick excuses to leave. Katie kisses him on the cheek and they hurry out.

He turns to Liv slowly. "What was that?"

"Promise you won't chase down Otis first."

"I tentatively promise." He eyed Liv and the now closed door. She grabbed his belt loop just for added insurance before answering.

"They were kissing."

Kelly's face screws up. Liv laughs. "Baby he's a huge nerd." His tone implies being nerdy is some form of sin.

"I hate to break it you but so is Katie." She said.

"So like is he gonna ask her out now?"

"I don't know but I can tell you this, if he does ask her out you have to let him because if you don't Katie's gonna be pissed."

He stares. "It's a brother sister rule babe. It doesn't mean you can't razz him though. Owen and Lang fed Carver Gummi Bears that gave him the shits. Looking back it was fucking epic."

"They didn't do anything to me." He said suspiciously.

"They like you; I think they suspect you might be my one so they don't screw with you because they fear me." She answered letting go his belt loops.

"Were you serious about the pants?" She inquired.

"Completely. You look hot in anything."

"Thank you but I'll go put on my fleece leggings."

"Good, it is unseasonably cold."

She goes to roll away. "Hey?" he pulls her back and kisses her slow and soft. "Waited all day to do that. You may go now." He grins.

She licks her lips eyes still closed. "What was I doing?" she asks slowly.

"Putting on pants. Your head ok?" he asks concerned but genuinely trying not to laugh.

"I'm fine, you did that."

"I love you so much." He said laughing.

"I know. I need pants."

_/-/-/

She rolls into the fire house in a long sleeve peacock blue crocheted top and jeans her hair is down but the bangs are twisted away from her face. There are random green, blue, turquoise and purple strands in her hair.

"You look about fourteen baby. Not quite sure I dig it." He looks down at her speculatively and then pulls her into his arms.

"Mila and Madden did its chalk, Hair chalk."

"So that's why it looks like a leprechaun gave you a hickey." He brushed at the chalk stain with his thumb. She rolls her eyes before pecking him lightly on the mouth.

"Come on, I got somethin' for ya." He grabbed her hand and pulled her behind him away from the truck bay and into the actual firehouse, "Now, this is was a group effort so according to Katie I can't take full credit. Though should you be overwhelmed with gratitude I will accept all sexual forms of thanks!"

"Kelly Severide! The things that come from your mouth!"

He kissed her. "Last time I checked you liked the mouth and every other part of me. I'll be right back."

Shay walks over and stands next to her. "Would Viv move in with me?"

"Do what?" Kelly walks out of his quarters with a huge gift basket and Erin trailing behind him.

"E!" She shouts they hadn't seen each other in a few weeks.

"O!"She walked over and hugged her friend. "Don't call her O only I call her O." she cuts her eyes at Kelly.  
Erin hands her an Ipod "All of the old cram session jams from your MCAT days."

"Ok move so I can put this monstrous basket down." Kelly griped.

"You carried me down an infinity length ladder and that basket's heavy? And yes I remember slightly your ladder training thing triggered something." He put the basket down. He walked over and kissed her soundly on the mouth. "Um and that was for?" She said in confusion.

"You remembered!"

"Please tell me you weren't planning a re enactment?" She said skeptically.

"No. Okay, so we tried to think of everything you'd need for the test. Paper, pens, Hermann kids picked out the highlighters and post its Katie took care of the food. She gave me all these scientific reasons they're good for your brain and test taking but she lost me at Amino acids so I zoned out. Last but not least this is from me."

He hands her a box wrapped in shiny reflective paper. She tears into it and opens the box. Inside is a brand new stethoscope. With red ear pieces, black tubing, and the metal head piece used to hear the heart is covered in flames in middle of it an O is engraved in gold.

"Kelly these are so expensive." She said softly.

"I have every reason to believe you will pass that damn thing and be back in the saddle this time next week."

She looks at him skeptically. "Baby I had a sinus headache Tuesday and you tried to diagnose me with a brain tumor. You are ready to go back." He pulled her closer to him.

"And you really need to go!" Erin said pulling her out of Kelly's grip.

"But-"Liv complained.

"He's handsome and awesome in the sack I'm sure but I need a ride to the 21st and you have your test in fifteen."

Liv looks over at her with a slightly terrified expression. "He's the male you! That's why it's so easy. That's um a revelation." She said glancing between Kelly and Erin.

Erin loops her arm around Liv's shoulders. "That just means he's your best friend."

She says her thank yous and Kelly walks her out.

"Oh wait!" She turns back. "Shay the only way to know if ViviAnne will move in with you is to ask."

"I like the do, its very Cyndi Lauper good luck."

=/=/=/=/=

He leans into the truck window and kisses her. "Good luck. Remember when you hear hoof beats…"

"Think horses not zebras."

He kisses her a last time. "I love you. Bye."

"Love you too Babe. Bye."

-/-/-/-/-

Four hours later.

The door to the class room rips open "I passed I'm reinstated!" She shouts and various people stare at her.

"You're teaching oops I'll come back! It's just I was excited and Chief Bowden told me where to find you."

"It's fine, let's go out in the hall. When do you start?" he starts pulling her to the door.

"Next rotation."

"I told you. Didn't I tell you it'd be fine?"

"Yo Liv! Glad to have the good Doc back at lakeside. That ER is bananas without you!" Gabi called out/

"Thanks Gabi."

"So did she have like a malpractice suit?" Jones asked once they left the room a sly smile crossing her face.

"No a building fell on her you insensitive dumb ass. She was in the Killian Arena collapse." Gabi replied becoming defensive of Liv.

-/-/-/-

"Ok so that first Friday I'm on shift we have Alzheimer's benefit and I know you have to work so I'm gonna solo it but Carver will be there it's a neuro offshoot. If you don't-"Engine 81 Ambulance 61 Squad 3 apartment fire. Corliss Street the intercom interrupts her.

"Go babe. Just come show me your dress first." Kelly answers and kisses then runs for the truck.

-/-/-/-

"I don't care. I don't think she needs to be told it's an empty threat." He states and glances over at Lindsay in the darkened Chief's office

"It's not a very empty threat if you don't want me to know." Liv said from behind them all. She's standing in the chair. Her dress is a dark sapphire blue with a deep diving jeweled neckline. The strapless mermaid style makes her look like Jessica Rabbit. Complete with her red hair slicked back on the sides and flowing down her back. Her green eyes cut to him beneath deep smoky blue shadow. "What don't you want me to know Kelly?" Her watches her raisin purple painted lips move but honest to god can't hear a word.

"You look beautiful." Is his awestruck reply.

"Thank you. You still have to answer the question." She said not giving an inch and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh I like this one Severide she's like your Mama. Don't screw it up." Bowden advised with a wide grin.

She turns her attention elsewhere. "Why are you here Erin?" The calm in her voice is a lie.

She tries a different angle. "No I want you to enjoy this little you dazzled the man to the point of stupidity. By the way your rack looks great."

"It's should I can't breathe. Now someone fucking answer the question before my Irish shows. "She said tightly her impatientince growing.

"Someone threatened him." Erin caves.

"It's not a big deal baby, just a punk kid."

She ignores his placating and gives him an unflinching stare. "Threatened you how?"

"Um, they threatened to kill me and it's-"He answers.

"Shut up Kelly!" She snaps and turns to Erin. "How serious is this guy Erin?"

"Two murders that wouldn't stick and assault." She said honestly with kind concern in her eyes.

"Why did you do that now she'll think the worst?" Kelly shouts.

Erin said not looking away from Liv. My friendship has rules and longevity that trump your wants."

Kelly gets the feeling the pair are conversing without words. Huh, he always thought she only did that with him.

Liv sighs and then to Kelly's surprise is totally logical. "You got nothin' till he does something."

"I'm going to put a car outside and one will follow you home. That "I love my firefighter bumper sticker on your truck kinda gives you a target and I'm not comfortable with that."

"Deal. " She nods. "I'm going to change into scrubs and head back to hospital. With looting and no heat we'll have enough to deal with so I'm gonna head back. Power went out at the benefit."

"I've got him." Lindsay promises.

"I know."

Olivia turned to Kelly with a tired smile. "Kelly are my spare scrubs in your locker still?"

"Yeah come on."

-/-/-/-/-

They stand in the shower room.

"I love you Kelly and I love that your first instinct is always to protect me first. It makes me feel very loved but, and listen closely here honey it doesn't mean that you can lie to me by omission. I'm not some delicate flower who will break at any given second. Am I worried, yeah but I trust Erin when she says she's got it." She peers up at him standing behind her.

"Not unless I'm dead or dying are you to know anything that's my rule…" He puts his hands on her shoulders he kisses the top of her head. "It's just because I love you Liv."

She nods. "New rule, tell me about your day. Unzip me please?"

"You really do look beautiful." He kissed the crook of her neck. As he unzipped the dress.

"Always tell me the truth please, I promise I won't fall apart."

"Deal." He brushed his thumb across her bottom lip. "You can't kiss me it's lipstick not a stain; it'll come off on you."

"Watch me." He kissed her. He tugged her hair to tilt her head back.

"Upside down kissing is weird but I like it." She answered and someone giggles.

"If there are kids in here I'm gonna…" He gripes striding to the shower, Kelly whips back the shower curtain to reveal Katie and Otis obviously having just made out. "Oh my God! So gross!" Kelly's expression makes Liv think he actually may throw up.

Liv laughs she can't help it.

"It's not we weren't about too-"Otis sputters beside himself.

"If you want to live you'll shut up Otis."

He closes the shower curtain and goes over and grabs Liv's chair and pushes her into his quarters. She's doubled in half laughing.

"Stop laughing!"

"I can't Kell your face….welcome to siblingdom." She teases.

-/-/-/-

Kelly comes home to find Liv sitting curled on the couch reading a novel and wearing one of his tee shirts. "Hey you waited up for me?"

"Yeah I felt like looking at you before I fell asleep. That shift was fucking madness." She stretches and yawns widely.

"Ah, F bombs musta been bad." He said crossing to her.

"That's putting it mildly."

He picks her up slinging her across his shoulders in a one armed fireman's carry. "Whatcha doin?" She asks in a conversational tone.

"Carrying you to my lair."

"That's not at all creepy babe. Though I do have a spectacular view of your ass this way."

"This a bad time mention I need to fart?" He jokes

"And…you've ruined it."

"You love me."

"Why exactly escapes me at moment." She said dryly as he tosses her to the mattress.

=/-/-/-/-

Kelly's cell ringing wakes them.

"What I'm tired and you woke me up. Otis she's not missing she probably just stood you up she doesn't want to tell you something. Fine I'll go be her moms." He said without opening his eyes. He lays there a moment before getting up.

-/-/-/-

Fifteen minutes later.

She puts Kelly on speaker and continues painting he toenails hot pink. "Baby, I'm starting to worry she didn't come home last night, she's a better kid than I was that's not like her!"

"Kelly I need you to stay calm call her friends and I'll call Erin." She stopped painting and picked up her phone.

"I don't know who her friends are Livvy we're not you and Viv!"

"Call Otis he'll know. Be calm Kell breathe." She advises.

"I don't know any of your friends what makes you think-"

"I'm related to my friends call Otis!"

-/-/-/-

She finds Kelly outside of Katie's work place. "Get in I do not trust you to drive." Liv said. "Otis had Bowden pull strings there's a task force appointed to finding her but she's only been missing 12 hours they have to wait the full 24 to make sure she's not off on a wild hair." She reaches across the truck opening the passenger side door.

"She's not!" Kelly said concretely.

"I know baby but you are still getting in my truck and letting me drive because I can handle one crisis not two Okay?" She said patiently. He gets in.

"Okay. I can't find her Liv. That guy threatened me and I protected you because I thought…" He rambles.

"I make an easier target Kelly there's no way you could have known he'd pick up on Katie. This isn't your fault honey."

"It feels like it is."

"I know. The cops want us to go home in case we're called." She puts the car in drive.

"The guy has some twisted form of morals, he stole my sister who can run but left my disabled girlfriend alone."

She drives a bit then turns. "It's not morals honey its brains. The cop hugged me good bye and you can see how much you love Katie it's what hurts worse. He wanted to hurt you and he has." She said.

"Benny will blame me ya know. That's all Benny's ever given besides the fire….the only thing is my siblings my brothers they're little and Beth keeps her distance because I'm reckless with the things I love just like Benny."

"I love, loved my mom the boys Katie and you that's it… that's all."

"Look at me Kelly!" He stares at her a long second." They will find her. A building fell on me and I forgot you and look where we are now."

"Looking for my sister?"

"No still here."

"That's because you're like Kudzu vine wild and unkillable." He said mostly to himself.

"Thanks I think."

"What do you mean?"

"Kudzu also chokes the life out of everything around it Kelly."

"The non chokey killy kind then." He provides.

"Music? Come on the silence and fear will get to you otherwise, distraction?"

"Why not?" He whispers.

She flips on her radio and an acoustic version of "Everyday People." Pours out. "God bless my Erin and her music I love this song." She turns it up.

-/-

There's a banging on Erin's door.

"I'm coming." She gets the door finding a crying Liv on the other side.

"I'm trying to help him and I can't he hates me I'm too optimistic and if he hadn't been so concerned with me he could have protected Katie. There's a murderer holding his sister hostage and I told him to stay positive. He hates me and I love him so, so much that I hurt." She rambles sniffling and wiping her eyes.

"Oh Honey, come here Livvy." She leaned down and hugged her.

"We'll find her." She pulls Liv inside.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Alive?"

"I hope to God. I hope Liv." She closes the door.

"How can I help him?"

"Right now, I'm just helping you. It's what besties do." She offers a smile and gets a weak one out of Liv.

"Wine?"

Cranberry Juice maybe I can trick my mind." Liv replied.

-/-/-/-

They sit on the couch talking and listening to music. "Any Man of Mine." By Shania Twain plays.

"Oh my god Lindsey! This reminds me of that guy who was so into you and come to find out…"

"He just thought I looked like her. I bet he's in jail for stalking."

"You sound bitter E. Line dancing was fun though." Liv smiles for real.

"How the girl with wheels on her ass has better rhythm than me I'll never know."

"God blessed me." She snarked.

There's another knock. "Turn it down that's probably my super."

The door opens. Liv turns down the music.

She is staring down into her cranberry juice when…. "Hey baby,"

Her head snaps up to find Kelly standing at the end of the couch hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Hey." She leaned forward and puts down her juice filled wine glass." Listen I'm sorry if my outlook made you feel your fear is unfounded because it's not I just-"She tries apologizing but he cuts her off.

"You don't want it to eat me alive, I know that and I didn't mean to imply that you haven't been through horrible things because I know you have and I know you see shit in that ER every day that I'd never be able to handle. I know, I know that trying to be positive is your coping mechanism and I'm sorry you are in my line of fire baby, It's just that they won't tell me anything and I don't know what to do." He's on the verge of tears.

"Come here, please." She said.

He picks her up and hugs her. "I'm sorry Kelly, I'm so sorry but we will find her. We will trust me okay?"

"Okay." Kelly said as he cried. "Okay. I can do that." Erin stepped forward like she might be afraid he would drop her friend. "No." Liv mouthed to her over his shoulder.

"It's alright Kell."

"I love you so much; I don't know where I'd be without you."

"Let's never find out okay? Speaking of how'd you find me?"

"Viv said this is where you'd be. She gave me the address."

Lindsay gives the couple a moment of privacy and goes to the kitchen.

He kisses her. "Let's go home Baby."

"Okay."

-/-/-/-

AN: I only own the people in my head and in the story. I hope to write around Katie's disappearance so we'll see how it goes. Thanks for all the favs and reviews please keep em' coming!

-Meg


	8. Chapter 8

AN: I own nothing but Liv and her family. Second I have nothing against Lady Gaga It's just a little humor meant to lighten the chapter up do not send me hate mail. This may be the last chapter until we get more episodes please don't be mad at me! Please enjoy and review!-Meg

 

Kelly wakes with a stuffy head. "Ah I finished that twelve pack by myself." He gets out of bed and follows the 70's sound of Elvis Presley and "Suspicious Minds." into his kitchen. She's at the island head bobbing to the beat as she makes breakfast.

He stands and watches her because for the first time in days he's smiling for real. Elvis turns into Christian music which turns into Katy Perry.

She looks up finally. "Oh! How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to remember why I love you like I do."

"You mean you forgot?" She cocks her head and eyes him smilingly.

"No, I did however forget momentarily just how lucky I am to even still have you. I'm sorry about last night." He leans over on the counter and kisses her.

"We've already made up twice in fact. It's okay." She bites her bottom lip and smiles at him.

"Any word?"

"Okay so sexual distraction is out." She said and then continued on "I would of woken you up had there been, but no. they're trying to identify the van and they have upped the Amber alert to national level but they haven't found her. I'm sorry babe. Oh, Erin sends her love." She stirs a grayish blue batter in plastic bowl.

"So don't turn on the TV got it. What ya making?" he dips a finger in and the look she gives makes him rethink things. He draws his hand back.

"Blueberry muffins." Her phone rings. "Get that for me will you?

He licks his finger before answering. "Livvy's Phone. You have reached Kelly the boyfriend slash receptionist how may I- what? Are you sure? We're on our way."

"What?" She stares at him.

"Sadie Helton is dying and her mother is asking for you." She knows her body should have developed an emotional failsafe but it hasn't it still shocks her every time.

"How long?" she tries to put steel into her voice.

"Few hours."

There's a silent beat and Kelly reaches over and turns off the stove. The get dressed without any conversation.

Both of them wonder how much more they can take but never verbalize it. Kelly opens the door for them to leave and Benny stands on the other side preparing to knock.

Without missing a beat. "You stay Kell I'll handle it." She starts to roll out the door.

He puts his hand on her shoulder to make her stay pit a second. "How about no Livvy! Dad if you want to talk you are coming with us."

"Have you seen my creds?" She asked distractedly.

He plucked them off her lab coat hanging by the door.

-/-/-/-

"Are you two fighting?" Benny breaks the silence.

"No." Kelly answered as he reached over pulling Liv's thumbnail away from her mouth. "Baby don't you can chew off every nail you got and it won't help or change anything and you just got that fancy manicure."

"Could I have done anything different? Or better?" she asked glancing across the car at him.

"Liv you know the answer to that. You gave the girl an advocate and a friend. A Mom when her's couldn't be present. You monitored every blood cell. Cancer cell, and chemo treatment that child ever had you bent the best oncologist in the state to your will all for one little girl and countless others who will come and go. You tell me baby, did you do enough?" he glances at her as he turns on Tenafly Drive.

"If I did, I don't know… why is this hitting so much harder?"

"Because she's four years old and you put her to bed Monday through Friday, because she told us our first date should be held at McDonald's it's always hard because you care it's harder because you love her and all your other long term kiddos"

She nods and turns on the CD player. Birdy's cover of Terrible Love pours out. "I love this song. Never took you for a Birdy fan Kelly."

"It's Katie's." she goes to turn it off. "No, leave it."

He drops her off at the front entrance and the uses her creds to park the car.

-/-/-/-

"Listen Pop I-"He starts as he locks the car.

"You don't need to explain things. You did what you thought was necessary for the safety of the people in your fire house. This might not even be related to that, what happened to Katie could be altogether different. Let's not jump to any conclusions. I came because it's my daughter that's missing and you two became close. I came to check on you. I seem to have walked in on something but all things considered you seem to be handling it well." He said as they walked to the elevator.

"I'm not. Liv is literally the only thing holding me together." He confesses.

"You really do love her don't you?" Benny said giving a slight smile.

"Why does that surprise you? We're similar not the exact same." Kelly replied becoming offended.

"It's surprising because she couldn't remember you but you stayed."

"She remembers me now."

"How much?" he asked in pure curiosity.

"Enough Dad. She's enough for me." He replied shortly. Fast becoming angry at Benny for his judgments of his character and his girl.

They get on the elevator and take a silent ride then Kelly walks off and Benny finds him in the cafeteria.

"I like her. I didn't mean anything by it. Katie loves her."

"Let's not talk about Katie. I just can't they won't let me go look for her and its driving me nuts so let's just not." He picks up his purchases and walks away again leaving Benny to follow.

-/-/-/-

They find Liv in the midst of a shouting match with another doctor. "You're wrong!"

"Dr. Grayne I understand you get deeply involved with your patients but its unhealthy and pointless that kid is dying and you need to let her."

"Oh sweet Jesus." Kelly muttered and dialed his phone.

"You can tell everybody-"Aloe Blacc's The Man rings out before being cut off.

"What?" She barks.

"Look to your left." He said calmly.

"Oh hi Kell,"

"Hi baby, hang up and come here."

She shook her head no. "She's trying to make me give up." He walked toward her.

"I know. Please come here." He hung up when he'd reached her. He put his arms around her. "It's not your fight anymore Olivia its Sadie's and she's decided to retreat. Respect that. Even though it's hard. Maybe especially because it's hard." He said lowly into her ear.

She steeled herself. "Okay I'm going in."

He kissed the top of her head. "Right behind you." He replies and she rolls off.

"So the girl?" Benny asked.

"Is dying of leukemia and stole my heart in about five seconds flat."

"Kelly!" a man calls from behind.

"Cole Hey how are you?" he greets Liv's Dad.

He walks over and leans on the wall next to Kelly. "I'm fine they're releasing Rain today, how are you? I heard about your sister from Vivi. Liv hasn't left your side or so I hear?"

"Um no she hasn't. Cole this is my Dad Benny, Benny this is Cole Livvy's Dad."

"Pleasure to meet you wish it was under happier circumstances. Is Liv okay? It's her day off." Cole's tone became concerned.

"Oh she's fine she's visiting a patient." Just then Liv's head pops around the door. "You're being summoned she wants to hear how you guys saved 51. Her resps are slowing so… "She said looking at Kelly before noticing Cole. "Oh hey Dad."

"Hey Ollie, you ok?"

"Not really. Stick around I might need a hug later." She said honestly.

=/=/-/=

Liv sits back and watches a moment. "Hi Kelly." Sadie wheezes out she looks at him a long moment and then her eyes flutter closed.

To his credit Kelly doesn't cry. "Hey sweetheart! I hear you want the whole story of how the fire house was saved…"he tells her the story with more flourish than there actually was while stroking her little bald head.

He kisses her forehead at the end of his story. She doesn't wake. "See you in another place and time Miss Sadie." He said softly/

When he passes by Liv he squeezes her shoulder and kisses the top of her head. He walks out without a word but there are tears in his eyes.

Liv takes his place holding her hand. "You don't have to wake up, I know you hear me. We've had lots of talks about fighting this thing haven't we…?"

-/-/-

They all stand out in the hall when a lone piercing beep fills the air. It's cut off and silence hangs around the three men. Breath shudders out of Kelly and his eyes fall closed before his head drops. "Damn it." He walks of to be by himself until he hears a door knob turn and he looks back.

Moments later Liv appears. Her lips quiver with the effort to hold back tears.

Once the door is safely closed and she wheels part way down the hall with Kelly and Cole on her heels she crumbles.

Kelly reaches her first because he was closer. He hugs her from behind. "It's okay baby."

"No, it's not! It's not okay, I need to stop getting so attached." She shakes her and he turns to hug her properly.

"Liv that's what makes you good." He said into her neck.

"Kelly."

"No, look at me! Do you know why I've loved you from them moment I saw you? In that fire on Porter you wouldn't let me rescue you! You demanded that you hand me all sixteen of those children yourself. Still to this day damn near a year later I know every name age and diagnosis. If I saw them on the street I'd know them. That's who you are! Sure you take it too far but you care above all else and that matters babe."

"I sat and held Charlotte's hand as she watched her baby die. I've seen people die, I've seen kids die but not like that."

"Langston's not going to die like that Liv." Cole said from behind knowing exactly where her mind was headed.

She turns. "Yes, he will dad everyone dies alone and all we can do is watch! She thanked me Dad, Sadie's mom thanked me. I couldn't save her and she still thanked me."

"I'd of thanked you too sweetheart." Benny said speaking for the first time. "You made sure her child had a friend as well as a healer. You made sure she wasn't alone when her child passed. You can't always make the save it's what you do with that, that matters. Trust me I've been there."

Liv's eyebrow wings up. "You might be right.

She hugs her Dad. "I just I need a minute. Tell mom I'll be there in time for Rainey's party."

She rolls off and it takes everything in Kelly just to let her be. "The fact that seeing her in pain makes you look so tortured lets me know you love her." Cole said.

"I love my sister too and look where that got us."

-/-/-/-

"Keep Rollin, Rollin, Rollin." Erin's phone blares out in the midst of an interrogation. "I gotta take this."

"I got her for now; tell who I am assuming is Liv hello." Antonio said.

"What's up Livvy Lou?" she said walking out into the hall where she leans on a wall.

"Do you feel like going to the range after work? I lost Sadie Helton today and the only reason Kelly hasn't formed a posse of fire fighters to find Katie is because he's with me and is afraid I'm going to have a mental break down."

Erin can hear Kelly. "Did you mean a gun range I'm not comfortable with that!"

"I'm certified and I have a conceal and carry." She tells him.

"Tell him he drinks we shoot shit. I'll be there."

"I love you."

"Love you most Liv Lou."

"Bye."

"Lindsay out!" she can hear Liv's snicker before she hangs up.

-/-/-/-

"You own a gun?" Kelly asks.

"I own four. What I'm single and live alone it's smart."

"Isn't four overkill?"

"Nope. I gotta go fill out a death certificate so if you wanna check in at the house or the station about Katie I'll hitch a ride with Dad. I need to go to James Avery to pick up Rain's gift anyway."

"Baby I-"she kisses him and starts to roll off. "Hold on there Red." He catches her arm and turns her toward him.

"Kelly, I had my minute we can't change it and we need to find Katie I'm fine."

He sighs tiredly. "I- okay baby, call if you need me."

"Same goes." She kisses him. "I love you."

"I know that." He brushed her hair behind her ear. "I love you too."

-/-/-/-

"Lady Gaga, Beiber, or the clown from It?" Erin asked as Liv loaded her Smith &Wesson 9mm.

"Gaga." She answered and Erin taped a picture of the shock and awe songstress to the target.

"I wanna try shootin' standing can you stand behind the chair in case the recoil is different with my center of gravity being vertical." Erin steps from her shooting cubicle to Liv's and stands beside her.

"Okay?" she puts on her ear protectors.

"Okay." Liv lets off three shoots hitting Gaga directly between the eyes. The protectors slide down around her neck.

"There's my girl. What's up? We usually get pedicures we haven't done this in a while." Erin asked standing with her arms crossed

"What happens if we don't find Katie Erin? What if I run outta ways to keep him distracted? What if the only thing he sees when he looks at me is that he protected the wrong person? What if he stops loving me?" she lets off another shot and Erin doesn't even flinch.

"That's a fuckload of ifs Babe." Erin answers.

"If he stops loving you? He didn't love you in the first place. I'd know because I do love you." She continues and smiles at Liv.

Liv clicks the safety on and puts her gun down. "Ok that was maudlin; I do the mush not you what the fucks with you?"

Erin answers staring at her booted feet. "Fucking junkie, I sobered her up and gave her the choice to get high or get clean and…"

"She didn't make the same choice as you did she? Not everyone has your guts E. it takes more courage to quit than it does to use. Erin despite your choices and whoever you did or didn't have in your corner you always knew who you were. Liv grabs her hand and squeezes.

"I still did things I'm not proud of." Their hands swing between them.

"And who hasn't Erin but look at us we're still friends, that says something!"

"Yeah well most friends wouldn't harbor their hookin' dealer in their dorm." She said grinning.

"You dealt my pot bitch not crack and you saved me a few times too ya know."

"Fuckers lucky he's alive between me Hank and your Dad." She muttered.

"Don't miss him; I do miss that pot though. Here, shoot." She hands her the gun she'd used and puts on her ear protectors and Erin lets off a heart shot, head shot and crotch shot. All while they shared a booth.

Erin smiled nostalgically "Best Chronic in the city, I feel that pain trust me. Being a grown up upstanding citizens blows."

"Speaking of being grown up, how's working with Voight?"

"He's being an over protective cock block." She let off another shot and handed it back to Liv.

"Twat squatter you mean." Liv laughed. "So you are into Halsted?" Liv smiled slyly. "I saw that shit a mile away. Mama likes em' innocent before devouring them body and soul." She said laughing and raised the gun.

"Fuck you."

"Wrong Grayne, Check with Viv." She shot Gaga directly in her porcelain smile.

"Or Owen." Erin said guiltily.

Her head whips around. "Seriously you and O, you still go at it?"

"Lower the firearm first. Not for a while."

"How long's awhile? "She put the gun down and put her hands on her hips.

"Year maybe."

"He's married E." She said trying not to be disappointed in them both.

"Still doesn't change that he's got my number and likes to exploit it when he hits the skids with Mrs. Grayne."

"You're both adults do what you want but just be careful there's a reason it didn't work the first time. Now you wanna bust a cap in Miley Cyrus' fake ass teeth or should I?" She points to Erin's target of choice.

"For the record I hope Severide's not too much like me." She said softly.

She shrugged. "We might be together for fifty years but he's like you people screwed him over and he doesn't trust when people tell him the truth. Benny's charming but he's a shirker who only loved the fire fight."

"So you are saying there are no picket fences?"

"Not if my life depended on it. He asks me to marry him I'm checking for the Punk'd crew before answering." She grinned

"Let's shoot shit and then go to the party." Erin said unholstering her own cop issue gun.

"Just don't fuck O on top of the cake okay?" She teased.

"Livvy's got jokes tonight."

-/-/-

The longer Katie's missing the more Kelly's sure life is too short for childish fears. He walks into the Grayne's noisy household looking for someone in particular. "Liv's upstairs sweetheart I made her go shower she smelled like gun powder." Mara said while icing a tray of cookies.

He stood there. "Well go on up. Ollie was raised by a former hippie and a scholar. You can go upstairs."

-/-/-/-/-

She sits in the tub struggling to wash her hair. Her parents had gotten rid of the sprayer and shower seat because Grady liked to power wash the bathroom.

"Can I help Babe?" he said and she jumped.

"Kelly! What are you doing here? I figured you'd be with Benny." She watches him walk over and kneel next to the tub.

"He wanted to go by 51 and Molly's I wanted to be with you. Lay back baby. Jesus this water's cold." He warms up the water and threads his hands through her hair while washing it.

"We should have done this sooner I like it." He said giving her a grin.

"You're weird but I feels nice so do continue." She retorted.

"Why do you shoot guns?" he asked softly.

"Erin's not into retail therapy, our history's complex its away to stay connected and it keeps me safe."

"You have a point."

"Why does it bother you?" She cracks open an eye.

"I want to protect you."

"That's very sweet Kell but you can't be everywhere." She said knowingly

It's quiet awhile. "Are you okay Kelly?"

"Yep why?"

"I'm naked, wet, and you have your hands on me and have yet to make a dirty remark. Did you hit your head?" She joked.

"It's been difficult but I'm managing. I have a healthy fear of the men in your family also."

"I know how I'd feel if it was Katie." He adds

"You're a good brother despite whatever you think right now. She looks at you like I look at Owen. Like you hung the moon." He doesn't reply to that. He doesn't know how.

He helps her from the tub and sits her in her chair. "Yo Liv Lou." Erin shouts through the door.

""Yo! Erin Autumn, bring me some clothes steal from Rainey!" She shouts back.

"Mama Mara actually made you wash off all things fire arm?"

"Reformed hippie! Kelly, I get it I have a killer bod but I'm freezing so towel please?"

"He's in there! You dirty, dirty, whore." She tries the door but it's locked tight.

"I'm a clean whore thank you!" She retorts and a laugh bubbles up out of Kelly.

-/-/-/-

After the surprises and gifts everyone's milling about. She can't find Kelly and goes in search of him when Liam pulls her into a picture. He kisses her cheek "You're drunk William Zane." She said while her sister senses tingled.

"I'm feeling festive."

"You're feeling sauced." She pats him and kisses his cheek before moving her chair to sit again.

-/-

Kelly finds Cole and pulls him aside. "Listen Cole, I have something I need to ask of you."

"Okay." Cole replied warily.

"I'd like your blessing to marry Livvy."

"You said not three months ago you weren't the marrying type." The older man's brows knit in suspicion.

"That was before my sister's disappearance. Life's short and nothing's guaranteed you'd think my job would have taught me that but I just got used to it and took it for granted and I don't want to do that here. I love Olivia and I'm not saying we'll get married tomorrow or even next year but I want to marry her and something tells me your approval means a lot to her, and to me because I do respect your opinion." He said his chest becoming tight in fear of "No."

"Look I'm not dumb enough to think you won't ever fight or hurt each other but I do want your promise you'll never break her heart because she's had more than her fair share of it."

"I-"

"I'm not finished, take care of her. I'm not saying do every little thing for her because Liv's more than capable but listen to her and keep her from running herself into the ground. Help her when she's too prideful to ask for it because it's when she'll need it most. Promise me?"

"Yes sir I promise."

"Alright, you may ask though I have no bearing on her answer." He shook Kelly's hand.

-/-/-/-

A few minutes later as Kelly is talking to Owen about doing construction on the side. He feels arms wrap around his waist so he sits down in her lap. "Hi!"

"Hi you're really heavy." She grunts trying to push him off.

"So I can carry you places and let you sit on me but when I need a chair?"

"Turnabout is not fair play Douchey McFireballs. Get off me." He laughed and twisted to kiss her before standing.

He held her hand in his.

"That McFireballs thing's is gonna stick." Owen teased.

Kelly groaned.

"Could be worse you could be Dr. Gummi B. Squirts." Owen grins slyly.

Olivia laughs a weird little cackle you only hear when something is truly and unexpectedly funny. "You're so wrong, O! That's just mean. Very funny but oh so mean."

"Made you laugh though." Kelly said.

"Yeah O's good at that. Anyway why'd you look like you were swallowing bleach while talking to my Dad?"

"Uh, he asked about Katie its fine though."

"You sure?"

"Positive. It's nice to see you smiling Livvy. I love you." He kissed her.

"I love you too, we're gonna be okay Kell I can feel it." She kissed him again.

"Sickening, lovey dovey shit." Owen griped.

"Married sexless old fart." Liv retorted and Kelly laughed hoping he had just one more chance to pick on Katie.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: I own nothing but Liv, I stretched timelines and added stuff I changed the background between Erin and Liv to fit the show you can go back and re-read the changes in the previous chapter if you like. There's a tiny CPD snippet at the end! If you liked it please do review! There's exciting stuff heading Kelly and Livvy's way.

-/-/-

Liv's phone ring out loud police sirens. She groans and opens her eyes she answers the phone. "Hey Slut bucket, you better have something good I'm hung over and my head hurts. Kelly looks so sad you'd think someone shot his puppy and he's still asleep."

"I collared Keeler for questioning." Her friend answers snappily.

"Atta girl. Be there in a bit." She hangs up.

She rolls over. "Hey Kelly," she ran finger tip down his jawline. "Wake up babe."

"Mhhmm, love you too." He mumbles in his sleep, she smiles a little. She shakes him and starts. "What?"

"Erin picked up Keeler for questioning but I'm all for hearing more about how much you love me on the way to the station."

-/-/-/-

The ride to the station is silent until he looks at her shirt as he's reaching for her hand. "Sarc my second favorite asm." He laughs. "We'll work on your first one later. He kisses her hand.

"That a fact? "She smirks.

"You betcha." As they pull up Keeler's leaving. "Kelly…" it's too late he's already out of the car and across the street looming over the smaller man. Liv honks the horn and draws Erin's attention "Grab him, before you're forced to arrest him please!"

He stomps back to the car and gets in slamming the door. "Why'd you stop me? She's been missing three days!"

"I know that but I also knew what was coming next and I don't have bail money."

"You might wanna get some because I'm going to find her anyway I can. Waiting for your precious Erin to do her job is wearing thin." He barks at her starting the car.

"Kelly what are you going to do?"

"Right now, I'm going to take you to work. Don't look at me like that you know I trust you Olivia. This gives you deniability. You see a crime committed you have to report it or lose your license. This way you won't. Doc Livvy stays."

He drops her off at the front entrance. "Be careful Kelly Benjamin."

"Always." He says with a grin and kisses her in a way that makes her heart stutter. "Bye, Liv."

"Bye, love you. I do hope you find her babe."

"Me too I'll pick you up at shifts end." He waves and leaves.

She watches him drive off and she hopes she's not letting him do something stupid because she's afraid of letting him stew any longer. She wants her boyfriend back and if letting him do this by himself gets her there then that's fine. It might be cold and but it's the truth. She wants Kelly back even if it's impulsive Kelly.

-/-/-/-/-

She's putting on a Netflix movie for ER waiting room when her phone rings. "Baby." She answers.

"I found her, she looks bad Livvy, I'm having her sent to you." He sounds close to tears and her first instinct is calm him down and try some form of comforting because Kelly just doesn't cry.

"Breathe Kelly, you found her that's the important thing." He hiccups but she pictures him nodding.

They bring in the bruised and battered girl and her heart clinches. She orders tests and x-rays and gently shoves Kelly out of the room. "Livvy I-"he stutters.

"Baby, I have to ask personal and painful questions. I need you to trust me now okay? I've got her I promise. Do you believe me? "She asks holding his hand.

"Yes, I trust you Olivia it's not that baby. I-"

"You can stand just outside the door honey." She lets him go and turns back to her work.

"She kicked me out." He tells Erin.

"That's her job, some stuff that might need to be done; well you don't want your brother there. Liv's a Doctor first and your future wife second. Yes, I know Cole told Owen, Owen told me." Erin said leaning on the wall across from him.

"What do you think she'll say?" he asks just to distract himself.

"I think you need to ask her to find out." She hedges with a sly smile.

A nurse walks by "Grayne needs a rape kit in bay 3."

"Jesus, she's in pediatrics, what's the world coming too?" another comments from the nurses station.

"No, it's a woman somehow they're connected she won't let anyone else touch her." The younger girl answers walking back to the exam room kit in hand.

Kelly's eyes fill with angry tears and he walks off.

Sometime later.

E, I'm going to have her moved to a room but then you can ask your questions where's Kell? "Liv comes out of the room ditcher her gloves in a nearby biohazard bin.

"Overheard about the rape kit." She answers lowly.

"I'm going to check on him, keep an eye on Katie will you." She doesn't wait for answer just rolls down the hall.

"He went-"

"I know where he is." She said.

=/=/=/=

"Hey McFireballs thought I could find you here." She said rolling into the sun room.

"You're good." He clears his throat and sniffs.

"I know you and I told you that I loved you in this room. Figures you'd go back to one situation that scared you to avoid another that's flat out terrifying." She rolled up beside him taking his hand.

"How bad?" He said avoiding her gaze.

"We both know I can't tell you that." She tugged on his hand. "Turn and look at me." He turns and there are tears tracking down his face. She slides her chair to the standing. "Okay, I'm not going to lie to you because that's not what we do. It's bad and downright horrible but the good guys are gonna win, Erin's gonna get him babe." She wiped his eyes. "Trust me?

"Always." He kissed her. "I love back by the way."

"What do I do now Livvy?" he puts his arms around hugging her as close as the chair will allow.

"Go be her big brother."

-/-/-/-

"Ok Kelly we're going to talk about anything but what happened okay?" she stares at him directly with the eye that's not bruised and swollen shut.

"Okay." He handed her his phone." Want to help me pick out Liv's engagement ring?"

"Holy shit balls "she smiled. "One good came out of this you woke the hell up and realized you needed to put a ring on that one."

"I was thinking about it before this just made me sure life's too short to wait. So, Vivi Likes the first one…" he leans over close to Katie.

-/-/-

Liv comes into the room and they're huddled together over his phone that still wears the indestructible case she gave him for Valentine's Day.

"Am I interrupting? Should I come back?" she teases.

"Oh no baby." he put up the phone.

"Do you need Kelly to leave Katie?" She asks gently picking up her tablet that holds Katie's file.

"No, it's fine."

"All of your tests came back negative but I want you redo the HIV test in six months because disease lies dormant for that long. In that your counts won't pick it up."

"How's that possible?" Kelly asks.

"Everyone's different babe. Lang was asymptomatic until he was ten."

"So I just come back and you'll do it?"

"Yup."

"Okay."

=/-/=/=

Two months later.

Even through ear plugs Liv can hear her phone ringing She reaches for it blindly refusing to open her eyes. She pulls out an ear plug and answers. "What?"

"Hi baby what ya doin?"Kelly asks happily.

"Hey Kell I'm sleeping in the on call room." She replies and then yawns deeply.

"What do you need?" She yawns. She hears sirens but blows it off.

"Can you go to that fourth floor window on the east side in the child life room?" he asks.

"Why did someone jump?" She said with a little excitement at a good trauma.

"No Miss Doom and Gloom. Will you just go to the window?" he's laughing lowly in her ear.

"There better be something spectacular out there Kelly. First time I've gotten outta the chair in sixteen hours but I'm getting back in it for you. "She said grumpily.

She sits before the window with her arms crossed. "I'm here but I'm not happy about it what is so important that-wait is that your squad truck?"

"Talk to Erin a minute honey." He said distractedly.

"Erin what is going on? Why are you outside? I see my Mom, that ladder is moving Erin. It's moving toward me." She said half excited half nervous.

She watches Kelly climb up the ladder to her. "Erin is this what I think it is?" she asked voice shaking as Kelly gets closer to her and farther from the ground.

Kelly waves to her. "That's dangerous four points of contact put your hand down." She griped but waved back.

"Olivia, take a deep breath sweets it's about to get interesting." Erin advises. She can hear her best friend's smile.

"Open the window Babe!" Kelly shouts.

"What if I set off an alarm?" She shouts back

He said a little exasperated and he laughed. "I'll turn it off. Open the window!"

She struggles but gets it open. She leans out the window a bit as they move the ladder closer. "Don't lean so far out!" he admonishes.

She rolls her eyes at him as the ladder literally delivers him to the windowsill. He grins at her. "Hi!"

He goes wavy as her eyes fill with tears. "I know that I promised you no reenactments but I had to break that one, I hope that's okay. Exactly a year ago today, we met just like this. Well almost but you get my point." He shrugs a little smiling as she nods.

"Yeah." She answers lamely. For once she can't think of what to say.

"No one has ever changed my life so completely for the better in such a short amount of time as you have Livvy; no one has ever made me happier, made me laugh, challenged me, shown me what true love feels like or scared me as much as you have. I've loved every single second of it and every moment I've spent with you. I feel whole and like I'm a part of something important any time I'm with you. I love you so much more than I will ever be able to express to you. I want to spend my life with you; if you'll let me will you marry me?"

She sets still in shock for a second. "Erin said if you went all quiet on me to tell you that you're not being punked it's real." She laughs of course Erin would remember that conversation.

"Yes, I'd love to be married to you." She answers.

He grins at her. "I love you!" he turns and gives the thumbs up to the guys below and the sirens go off and her siblings and pediatrics kids release balloons.

He climbs through the window and kisses her. "I love you too." She kisses him back. "Hmmm." He laughs. "We could keep kissing or I could show you the ring." He said still holding her face in his hands.

"Does it make me shallow if I wanna see?" She asked smiling.

He lets her go for a moment. "No, it makes you a girl." He pulls a velvet box out of his fire jacket and opens it. He puts the round cut center set diamond on her hand. The band is platinum and covered in diamonds. "Katie was the tie breaker. She helped pick it."

"Wow."

"Yeah, I showed to the girls and Hadley wants it so watch out. And I quote, I want. Keely, I want it."

She laughed. "We should go down before you get fired for using the fire trucks recreationally and I get the hospital sited for noise ordinance violations."

"Are you shaking Kelly?" When he steps behind her to push the chair she notices his trembling hands.

"I was nervous. You cried." He defends.

"Happy tears. Why were you nervous? You knew my answer."

"No, I didn't." he kissed her forehead. "Let's head down."

"I'm sure my mom bawled."

"Before I was even halfway up the ladder and Erin-"

"Oh shit! Erin!" she raced back and picked her phone up off the floor. "E, you there?"

"He asked! Get your ass down here so I can hug you!"Erin said laughing.

"Love ya!

"Back at ya even more."

-/=/-/-

"Erin I hated every single one of those bitches why would I put myself through the motherfucking gauntlet? "She said lying in bed reading her trashy novel and eating ice cream as they talk on the phone.

"Because I was one of those bitches and you loved me anyway…"

She whined giving a childish grunt. "I was going to stay home and have sex with Kelly, I kind of hate you."

"Bring him and have hotel room sex."

"I can stay home and have equally satisfying sex if I rent a room it's like paying for it and then I just feel dirty." Kelly walked in laughing having over heard her.

"What are you trying to avoid Livvy?" he asked crawling on top of her. He put aside her book. He kisses her awaiting an answer.

"My ten year high school reunion, I hated those people they were judgmental. Carly Zimmerman said I'd die a virgin and black mailed her brother into dating me for four months then he publically dumped me at homecoming and told the entire senior class that the reason he dumped me was because I laid there stiff as a board because I couldn't feel anything when he put it in. I never let get past third base."

"Asshole." She mutters spooning up some ice cream.

"Point him out and I'll pull the fire alarm then when the fire trucks come I'll blame him." Her ring flashes at him as she feeds him.

"Kelly Severide! Isn't that illegal?"

He speaks around the ice cream. "Slightly, but I work there they'll believe me."

"How bad do you want me to go to this thing Erin?" She cocks her and squints and it makes him smile.

"I'm making Halsted be my date and we're fake engaged what does that tell you."

"That Stephanie got to you. Tell me is your ring from one of those toy dispenser things?" she teases.

"Thought I'd borrow yours?"

"Uh no," she states plainly. "Anyway that's like you'll die a spinster bad luck. No thanks."

"Fine, just promise me you'll go?"

"Only because I love you more than I hate all of that shit I went through which is a lot."

-/-/-/-

"We'll ditch out early if you want." He stands in the bathroom door watching her get ready.

She glances over at him in his black on black suit and stop dead in her tracks. "I'm still not quite sure how I landed you." She murmured to herself.

"You're bossy and it turns me on." He walks further in the room and pulls down her dress for her as she has the chair in a standing position. "You look beautiful." Her dress is a red ombre bandage style vee necked dress with a cut out in the back. it fades from deep red to black at the bottom. Her feet are still bare of shoes and her pedicure is bright pink.

He kissed her lips obviously still bare of lipstick. He likes her like this just naturally beautiful no, additives or anything faked. Just Livvy his girl.

"Too short?" She asks about the dress.

"Nah, it was just riding up. Wouldn't want Carly Zimmerman's brother to peek the good's he hated on."

"Snapshot?" he held up his phone. He steps up behind her and puts an arm around her waist his chin resting on her shoulder. They smile and snap the picture. He posts it to Instagram with the caption "St. Iggy's ain't seen nothin' like us! #hotcouple #Livvy10yearslater" and her phone dings a few minutes later " renee_royce wants to know who I am." She tells him before answering the other woman.

DocLivLou: I'm his fiancée Olivia, you're baby boy is cute.

"Shay did Viv leave her metallic snakeskin print heels here?" She shouts.

"Ok that sounds really hot." Kelly comments as he watches her apply mascara. "You're dad just gave me permission to kick the Zimmerman kid in the balls for him."

"You're joking."

He shook his head "Note to self-Papa Grayne don't play."

"Carly Zimmerman was jealous or wanted to fuck you." Shay handed her the shoes.

=/-/-/-

They take his car and when he helps her into her chair he feels Erin watching him and measuring the amount of care he treats her with. "You set baby?"" he asks setting her feet more precisely in the feet rests.

"Yeah."

He walks beside her holding one of her hands until she needs help jumping a curb and the girls walk ahead of him and Halsted then stop cold.

"What're we doing here?" Erin asks her when they catch up into hearing distance.

"I don't know remember I wanted to stay home and…well you know." Kelly laughs a little.

They stand and sit there respectively holding hands as they stare at a group of screechy fat women. Kelly sees nothing to be envious of at all. Though there seems to something personal going on between the two. So neither man says anything.

"We're here because no matter how much we deny it, it matters how we were treated and that they never saw who we actually were but E, it'll never change those girls are who they've always been and so are we." Liv kissed the back of her hand.

"You're the only person who never hated who I really was." Erin kissed the back of her hand then dropped their hands once she realized they were being watched.

"Who was I to talk I was in the real life cheaper by the dozen and my biological parents were crazy and addicted to everything, hell anything bad for you."

"Baby," Kelly leaned into their space.

"Yeah." She laughs a little at his sudden need to speak. She wipes a tear forming in the corner of her eye.

"I take back my early statement, even high school me picked you over that shit over there just sayin'."

"Babe!"

"I have slept with maybe half of Chicago but I draw the line at Pill Poppin' Annie and Fluffy Francine." Liv just rolls her eyes used to his humor but it makes Erin burst out laughing.

-/-/-/-/

She sits on a stool in the abandoned Molly's Bar. Shay had given Kelly the key with a critical eye. He's making them burgers on the cook top. "Are you okay back there honey? Do you like have any fucking clue what you're doing?"

He pokes his head out the cook's window. "That was offensive."

She laughs. "Oops, did I hurt your fragile feelings kitten?" she picks up a pretzel.

"Don't eat that men don't wash their hands in the john." Her face scrunches in disgust and she drops the snack.

-/-/-/-

He sits next to her and they eat their burgers.

"When Erin said you're the only one who never hated her? What'd she mean?" he watches her crush a chip with a fingertip.

She glances up at him. "E was a street kid with junkie parents when Hank took her in, cleaned her up, and got her in at Ignatius. She made up this story that she was this posh kid with jet setting parents and she was staying with family. She joined the Bitch Squad but they found out the truth and blackballed her. If those girls thought they were better than you….well it got ugly fast. I was the smart, weird, disabled girl, there on reduced rates so that school looked rounded and inclusive. I had no friends. Not one. I took a chance one day and asked Erin if I could eat lunch with her and the rest as they say is history. So, is Gabi gonna retry the fire academy?"

"I don't know but I did just get word while I was working on our dinner that Jones is the candidate for 51."

Liv rolled her eyes at him. "I don't trust anyone who relies on their name to get them through life."

"Me either which is why I have my eye on her. Now, if you're done with dinner I have a plan I think you'll like." He picks her up and sets her on the edge of the bar, "Ever done it in a bar on the bar?"

She laughs and then the heated look he gives her pulls her up short. "Oh my God, you're serious. Kell you're unbelievable."

He squeezes between the bar stool and the bar and stands in the gap of her legs. "That's not a no, or I don't want too." He grins. She pulls on his shirt lapel.

He kisses her. "What if someone comes in?" She said as he pushes down the strap of her dress and kisses along her neck as his other hand crawls up her skirt. "I locked it.' He answers stopping to look at her pressed back against the beer taps. He pulls her forward so that she has to hang on to him or risk falling.

She kisses him back. Her hands blindly landing on his belt buckle. Her phone trills out police sirens. "Damn it Erin." She groans in frustration.

"Ignore it." They go back to making out and the ringing stops then starts again after less than a beat.

"You answer it because if I do she'll get bitched out." She watches him move down the bar and she scoots back watching him bend to retrieve her phone from her purse on the floor.

"What Erin? What? Why? He's been locked up for two months, how'd this happen? Yeah well a lotta good that does my sister Lindsay!" he hung up.

He answers her quizzical expression. "Keeler walked on a technicality at his bail hearing today!"

"What?"

"Lindsay said he had to have known a higher up."

"Kelly promise me you aren't going to act first and think later."

After a silent beat. "I wish I could promise you that baby I really do." He kissed her again so he didn't do something stupid at least not right this minute.


	10. Chapter 10

"Take me with you; I'd start to miss you." Marianas Trench sings out from Kelly's bedside clock radio alarm. She turns over to cuddle him a few more minutes. "Slap the-"Kelly's side of the bed is empty on his pillow is a blue post it note.

Livvy,

I had stuff I needed to check out at work I'll meet you at end of shift. I love you! - Kell

She groans but gets up.

The music and a feeling of dread follow her into the shower. Showers and the whole time the foreboding feeling won't let her go. She gets dressed in neon pink scrubs.

She dials a number and waits as it rings.

"What up Deuce?" Owen answers.

"If I think my fiancée is about to fly off the handle and do something monumentally stupid how do I save him without him knowing I'm trying to do it?" She holds the phone in one hand and applies foundation with the other.

"You don't Sis. Are you sure this isn't just because you're marrying the single most pigheaded firefighter in all of Chicago?" Owen says teasingly.

Olivia is quiet a second and Owen thinks she might of hung up on him but then she speaks. "Keeler raped and beat the shit out of his only sister and that's not even mentioning that he kidnapped her just to fuck with Kelly's mind! So no, Owen I don't think I'm being paranoid. I think I know my guy." She growls in frustration.

"Look, I'll have Erin yank his leash and if he thinks it was you she'll set him straight." He said calmly.

-/-/-/-

"Grayne chief of staff needs you." The head of the ER Doctor Toliver said.

Her guts twist up. "Why?"

"Didn't ask." Is his short reply.

-/-/-/-

She sits before Doctor Shelton and listens but at "It pains me to do this…" she zones out only half hearing things when her head goes fuzzy.

Severance package, benefits it all goes in one ear and out the other.

-/-/-/-

It's hard to believe everything that makes her a doctor can fit into two boxes. Saying goodbye to her kiddos had nearly killed her. She hasn't called Kelly simply because she wants to be alone with it for a bit.

That's when Shay walks up with genuine concern in her eyes. "Liv where are you going?"

She looks up at Shay eyes red from crying. "They fired me. Cut backs, my head injury, and being out of action and being with Kelly during the Katie thing made me expendable. I am longer a doctor here. I'm going home even if no one's there at least I belong there."

"Livvy-"Shay tries but they're just now getting friendly and Liv doesn't bite.

"Shay, you're being sweet but I just need time."

When Shay walks in she finds Kelly at the squad table talking to Casey She waits until Casey leaves takes his vacated seat. "You need to call your girl." She leans her elbows on her knees.

"Why? Head injury sneaking up on her?"

"No. they fired her Kelly." She whispers.

"What?" he said loudly honestly shocked.

"Cutbacks. Lakeside's a small hospital and she was out of commission quite a bit."

He walks back to his quarters dialing her number. It rings but she doesn't pick up. He tries again.

"Shay told you didn't she?" She said dryly.

"Yeah, where are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm at Navy Pier." She sniffles in his ear.

"Don't cry babe, I'll be there in five. Clarke can cover for me."

"I'm alright Kelly; I just don't know what to do. No one wants a doctor with a semi-permanent head injury."

"You're selling yourself short Liv. Honey, you're compassionate and driven and you love people. You're the best damn doctor I know. Someone's going to want you on their team." He said vehemently.

"I'm the only doctor you know." She smirked.

"Beside the point, you're a good doctor."

"I'm going to miss my kiddos." She said quietly getting to the thing that bothers her most.

Kelly sighs. He hadn't even thought of that. "We'll find you work baby there a ton of hospitals that'd be lucky to have you. I think you need to look at the ones that specialize in children. Your skills were held back at lakeside anyway."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Never doubting me. I love you."

"I know I love me too!" he teased and made her laugh.

"Cocky."

"I prefer comfortably confident."

"I'm bored, and if I eat this whole funnel cake I'll be the Michelin man on wheels a fucking parade float!"

Kelly smiled "You'd be way hotter than him. Come by the fire house, I can always look at you adoringly, or we can do something dirty. You can death stare Jones. It'll be fun."

"Maybe…I love you. Stay safe and don't do anything stupid."

"Me? Never! I love you!"

-/-/-/-

When Benny knocks on the door of Kelly's place he's not expecting to see Liv on the other side in jeans and an emerald green v necked long sleeved shirt. 'Oh you're home I thought Kelly'd be here."

"Nope Kell's workin' come on in."

When she shoves the door back he sees a very sparkly diamond ring on a particular finger.

"I think there's something Kelly forgot to tell me."

"Um, this is awkward. Yeah we're engaged, a few months now." Liv smiles and grabs the keys its Kelly's Dad Kelly can deal with him.

-/-/-/-/-

"Severide… your future wife and Benny are here." Mills calls out.

"Both?" his eye brows raise but he gets to his feet.

"Both. In your quarters Liv looks stressed out be careful."

-/-/-/-

Liv and Benny sit and stand respectively next to each other looking at the photos covering his cabinet in the quarters.

"Hey Pop, Livvy."

"Where the hell did you get my short hair picture? I demanded they be burned, I look fat from surviving on Twinkies cranberry juice and cafeteria food." She said not looking at him

"Your Mama, and I like it. It's cute you look happy and it's always a plus when there's cleavage."

"Remind me to make sure her Mother of the Bride dress is super ugly." She said looking over her shoulder.

He laughed. "That's mean baby." She shrugged and he turned her to face him. "You okay?"

"Been better, and worse." He leans on her arms rests crowding into her space watching her closely for a second ignoring Benny's presence for a moment. "Alright!" he kissed her. "I'm glad you're here I was totally serious about the staring at you in adoration…and the other stuff too!" Liv chokes on a laugh.

Benny stares at a picture of Kelly and Katie from her Chef's school graduation. Then he lingers on a group shot of a Grayne Family dinner where Liv sits in his lap and everyone's crammed together into the frame.

He realizes in that moment how and why Kelly is so happy with Liv. She had grounded him and given him something he hadn't had since his mother. Family and confidence in his feelings. Kelly sits on the end of the bed next to Liv. He picks up her hand and holds it. It's odd he can't remember his son ever being an affectionate kid, or man.

Benny clears his throat. "So, this Keeler dude gets off scot free after doing everything he did to Katie?"

Liv answers. "My best friend is the best cop in the city and she's on it, they will catch the guy. I got some physical evidence from the rape kit so…" Benny literally jerks as if she'd hit him.

Benny's face pales. "Oh god, I just assumed you knew."

"Where's your sister?" He demands of Kelly. He paces restlessly.

"She's in Colorado. You care now?" He retorts.

"Kelly Honey," Liv tries to make peace.

"Her mother asked I stay away so I did but something needs to be done."

"And it will be by the CPD I need you to go home Pop! Go back to Kenosha and the boys." Kelly said firmly.

Liv took a deep breath and used her big sister voice. "Listen, calm down both of you. There's nothing you can do Benny."

"She gave me this keychain it's a saint Christopher medal I'm the parent and she was looking out for me." He said softly.

"The older we get the more we do that." Liv said gently.

"Well before I head back can I take my future daughter in law to lunch?"

"I'd like that!" her phone rang. "And my mom just heard I got fired."

"Let me Livvy." Kelly takes her phone and answers.

"Hello, no I know, it's Kelly, hi Mom, she did yes but we're not freaking out because it had nothing to do with her skills."

"Yeah we'll be there." He holds out the phone "Say hi Mama!"

"Hi mama!' She repeats.

"Bye!" they say in unison. "We're on entrée this week." Kelly said.

The fire alarm goes off and intercom lady interrupts them. Liv groans. "I know sorry baby." He kissed her. "Don't steal my girl Pop!" He smiled leaving them.

-/=/-/=/=

Erin walks up on Kelly's squad gathered and whispering. "Kelly I just came by to tell you we're not giving up on Katie's case. We're trying to figure out who and what he's hooked into. We're on it, I need you to trust that because if I catch one hint of vengeance? I will toss you in jail, not despite Liv, But because of her. You are the love of her life; if you do something irrational that you can't take back and end up paying for? She will be shattered. No one shatters the people I love, not even you! So if bringing you in is the only way I can protect you from yourself to protect her I'll do it."

"I have no clue what you mean." He said easily.

"Of course you don't." She retorts dryly.

She begins walking away. "OH and Erin? If you loved my girl half as much as you claimed? You'd pick up the phone and call her she just got let go from the hospital she's spent her entire medical career at."

She stares at him a second to decide if he's telling the truth. "Oh and I'm sure she'd be overjoyed that you just broadcast that tidbit to your entire fire house. Way to go stud." She spits back at him.

-/-/-/-/

Liv rolls in with a big cast iron pan in her lap. "Hey guys and girls. I was bored and idle hands and all that…So I decided to make dinner and always make too much. So, there's chicken spaghetti, vegetarian casserole, salad… "She sees Kelly walk in chewing a tooth pick. "Hey Kelly, I made your sliders and a black forest cake! Enjoy!"

"If he dumps you will you marry me?" Cruz asked.

"He's not going to dump me; he's too smart for that. You can take the spaghetti off my hands." She replied smiling up at him

"Shay? ViviAnne is getting the rest of the stuff." She rolls over to Kelly who leans down to kiss the back of her neck.

"You brought her? Thank you!" Shay smiled brightly. Vivi wasn't the most public of girlfriends.

"Wasn't for you I needed someone to make sure the food stayed put on the drive but you're welcome!"

Kelly sits next to Liv, Vivi sits next to her and Shay sits on the end. Everyone sits in a large group. Shay wipes whipped cream from Viv's bottom lip.

Jones rolls her eyes and it grates on Liv. She goes on to hassle Hermann and Kelly's shoulders set tensely.

"I thought you were a doctor?" Jones asked.

"I am, I'm just between facilities at the moment." She forked up some spaghetti.

"I don't really see how someone in your condition could do the job." Kelly's eyes snap up and catch Liv's she sniffs back tears and a fire lights inside him.

"You Bitch!" Vivi launches across the table and Shay has to hold her back.

"It's okay, she's entitled to her opinion even if it's a wrong one. She may feel differently should her child's life need to be saved one day, though who would reproduce with that… that's just desperation." Liv snaps back. Erin had taught her how to out catty any bitch.

"She's not entitled to anything she's a candidate get up and come with me Jones." Kelly demanded.

-/-/-

Even in the common area they can hear Kelly screaming at Jones, "There are two rules candidates live by in this house. Do as you're told and keep your mouth shut."

"You're still talking, again shut your mouth, be quiet! I said shut up!" He shouts.

He just ramps up more. "There it is atta girl, now you are not to speak to Olivia, unless spoken to first and when you respond its Ma'am or Mrs. Severide. You will earn the right to speak her name is that clear? Right now? Don't look at her, don't breathe the same air, don't even blink in her direction because you're this close to getting booted from 51 your precious Daddy can't stop me from making you someone else's a problem! Are we clear? You may answer in a single one word answer."

"Yes." Is the soft nearly inaudible reply.

"Is this the wrong time to pint out we're not yet married?" Olivia asked the table.

"I'd just go with it Mrs. Severide." Hermann advises laughing.

"Besides by the time "Light Me on Fire Barbie" is allowed to speak to you. You will be married." ViviAnne said.

As they return to the table the alarm goes off. Liv scoops up his last bite of food. "Here bite!" she said feeding him. "Thanks bye love you!" he said mouth full. He kissed her and ran. "Dessert and left overs will be in the fridge!" She Hollers.

"Thank you!" they all chorus.

"Be careful!"

"We will." Every single man parrots.

Vivi kisses Shay on the cheek as she runs past.

"How do you get used to it?" her sister asks as her girlfriend's ambulance rolls out.

"That they run head on into danger? I mostly ignore it."

-/-/-/-

When he comes in the next morning at the end of shift she's sitting on his couch in a Northwestern t-shirt laptop balanced on her long skinny legs. He never really noticed the muscle atrophy anymore all he saw was his girl.

"Hey there Doc Livvy," he takes off his coat and toes off his sneakers.

"Hey McFireballs, good shift?" She said not looking up.

"Fought a high rise fire it was awesome." He leaned over and kissed her and looked at her laptop. It shows the University Of Chicago Hospital's pediatrics branch.

"There's something very wrong with you Kelly, very brave and very wrong." She said about him being so amped by a fire.

He plops down on the other end of the couch. "But you love me anyway. The University Hospital huh? "

"It has its own trauma level one ER for children only! But I'm applying at the Lurie too!" She smiles s at him. He knows she's faking it.

"Talk to me." He said quietly holding her gaze.

"We can't catch a break. I love my job Kelly I don't know who I am without it. I love you but being a housewife would drive me to drink. I need my work." She changes the subject. "Erin said she came by your firehouse."

"Something tells me you sent her." He cocks his head at her in question.

"I'm not above begging you to let her handle it Kelly; if I thought what I wanted made any difference but it doesn't I just want you. I want you safe and not in jail please, I need you to promise me you aren't going to do anything. I can't take another bad thing. Please, I really can't." her face crumples as she cries.

"Okay baby, Okay I'm sorry." He moves the laptop and pulls her into his arms. "I promise, okay. What you want matters. I promise nothing stupid." He rubs her back.

-/-/-/-

Liv sits and watches as Kelly and the rest of the smoke eaters drink while she sips a root beer. When Erin walks in she's genuinely glad to see her friend. "E, sit with me I'm the DD." She pats a bar stool.

"Hey O, I can't I'm on duty. They found Keeler's car abandoned and his cell phone dumped but no Keeler anyone got any clue why?"

Liv's stomach drops because she can't read Kelly's expression one way or the other and she hopes he hasn't broken his promise to her.

AN: I own nothing but my characters and ideas. Please review if you liked it and thanks for reading thus far! - Meghan!


	11. Chapter 11

AN: It's super long but I hope you guys like it. I own nothing but my characters and my ideas! Please review if you like it!-Meg

She wakes because she feels eyes on her. Kelly's leaned up on his elbow face in his palm staring down at her. "What're you doing? It's freaky stop it!"

"Staring in adoration as promised." He trails a hand down her arm.

"It's weird, please stop."

"Nuh Uh, I like it." She covers her face with her hands and he pulls them down. "Dude! You're blocking the view and it's beautiful!"

She laughs. "That was cheesy."

"Still true, "he kissed her.

"I love you Kelly, I do but you have morning breath." her face scrunches up.

"I was trying to be romantic!" he complains

She gets down to brass tacks. "We can have sex just keep your breath out of my face."

"I have a plan!" he gets up stark naked and walks into the bathroom. She hears Vivi scream but he comes back with their tooth brushes. "You're sister saw the goods." He said around his tooth brush.

"We need our own place and I gotta rinse." She tells him.

"Here." He hands her stale root beer from the night before.

She swigs spitting quickly into the trash. "That was fucking disgusting. "She shivers

He swallowed his toothpaste. "So was that, upside I can kiss you now." He grins

He got back into bed and quickly ridded her of her night shirt. He kissed her. "You taste like mint licorice odd but not a deterrent." He kissed down her chin.

He kisses down her chest and belly and she concentrates on the feeling of his lips on her skin and not all the thoughts floating around in her head. He draws imaginary designs with his tongue and her breath catches before she has time to think or absorb the sensation he's working his way back up.

He rolls her over and she can see the snowy street and half frozen waters of Lake Michigan far beyond. It's pretty.

"Stop thinking." He admonishes planting a kiss on her shoulder.

"I wasn't."

He randomly kisses up and down her back. "Liar." He lingers on the barely noticeable tiny faded with time scar of her SCI surgery.

"Grab something Livvy." He demanded lowly grabbing her hips.

"Excuse you." When he pushes inside her she slides up and almost off the bed. "Told you." He laughs pulling her back down stopping to kiss her lips and tangle a hand in her hair.

"Not thinking anything," she retorts kissing him back.

-/-/-/-

Afterwards he gets out of the shower and finds her just as he left her. She's laying on her belly arms propping her up, hair cascading over her left shoulder as she looks out the window. The sun lighting her perfectly.

He grabs his phone; the only things you can see are her back and the rise of her rear beneath the sheet. He snaps the picture leaving it unfiltered he sets it as his home screen.

He hopes none of the guys unlock his phone she'll kill him.

"Shower's all yours baby."

"Help me up?" She glances back at him.

He picks her up and carries her into the shower and sets her in the shower chair. She pulls the curtain but he stays and shaves. "Excited for your first day on the job Livvy?" He asks lathering up.

"Nervous, what if they don't like me? Hospitals are like high school." She answers.

"Fuck em' I like you!" he grins to himself.

"I like you too Honey!" He can hear her smile and watches her blurry body move behind the shower curtain.

"Sides Viv will beat the bitchy doctors' asses for you when she meets you for lunch. She nearly beat Jones to death. Jones owes Shay one." He rinses the razor.

"Yeah."

"Wear your Lady Bug scrubs for luck. You were wearing them when we met."

"A building exploded when we met." She says in a tone implying he's slightly stupid or crazy.

"See there's the difference between you and me. Exploding buildings are totally romantic statement makers to me and you just see horror."

She laughs. "So we're different."

"You wanna get married today?" he asked spontaneously. He'd been thinking about it for a couple weeks though.

"Do what?" she poked her head out of the shower.

"We can get the license on you lunch break and get married after shift."

"Did you do something?" She eyes him carefully.

"No, Livvy." He laughs "I didn't. I want to marry you. Today, because I love you." He justified.

"What about our families? Don't you want Katie here? Your Dad?" she asked in concern.

"You're all the family I need there Babe."

"Really, that's sweet but my parents and Erin have to be there it's like a rule in the family."

"We'll need witness that's fine. Yo Shay!?"

"Did you really have to scar my woman with the vision of your appendage?"

"I'm getting married at the end of shift today would you like to attend." He stated calmly wiping his clean shaven face with one of Liv's fancy hand towels.

"You're what?" She asks not sure if he's serious

"We're getting married."

"At Navy Pier." Liv adds from back behind the curtain.

"Is that legal?" Kelly asked.

"Do you care?" Liv asked.

"No." he laughed quietly to himself smiling.

"ViviAnne Eliza Grayne, your sisters getting hitched tomorrow morning." Shay said like was tired of their antics.

Viv ran in. "What? Yay!"

Liv pops her out the curtain again. "This bathroom is suddenly very full. Small Ceremony just the 'rents E, and Shay."

"I've got the reception and other Graynes." Viv nodded already mentally planning.

"I think we should go get the License before we head to work. I need my chair I'm done and the water's cold." Liv told him.

"So we're doing this?" He asked grinning widely at her.

"You brought it up."

"I know, I just thought it'd be a harder sell."

"We need an officiant." She said as he picked her up.

"Mouch got ordained online last year."

"Is it bad our honeymoon will most likely be taking a nap together?" She asked as he carried her wrapped in a towel back to her chair.

-/-/-/-

"E, we gotta talk fast. I'm getting married tomorrow morning. Yes! Wait! Erin listen! Be at Navy Pier at 8:15. You just stand there look pretty and sign the license I'm in line to get now." Liv's head cocks in a way that Kelly knows is a bad sign.

"It doesn't make him look guilty of anything Erin! Because he didn't do anything, its called spontaneity you should try it some time you might get laid more." She snaps.

"Ooh ouch!" Kelly mutters.

"Yeah, Well I'm sorry the fact that I can take the man I love at his word bothers you so much!" She hung up.

Kelly grabs the phone. "Don't throw that honey."

"Why can't she just be happy for me?" Liv wipes at the tears in her eyes.

"She's trying to protect you that's all Liv." He pulls her ponytail to tilt her head back. He kissed her. "No tears, we're happy today."

"I don't need protection from you or from the fall out of the thing you did not do."

-/-/-/-/-

Erin gazed out at the road as she drove. "Liv's getting married? Erin nods. "And you're going to miss your best friend's wedding because you're hard headed and need to be righteous?"

"If he did it and they're married she doesn't have to testify against him jay." She glances at him.

"That's their business not yours Lindsay. It's not your place to make her decisions for her and something tells me you never have before."

"She had me rein him in! She used Owen to do it but it was her!" She gripes slapping on the lights so she can go faster to the stations.

"So big deal! She was trying to head off her hot headed boyfriend and keep him from doing something stupid the best way she knew how! So I only spent fifteen minutes with them and even I could see how much he loves her. You love someone like that if you're smart you don't lie to them. So, either he's marrying her to protect her or he's marrying her because loves her and doesn't wanna wait. Either way they're getting married tomorrow with or without you. You have to let your pride and your hunch over this go or miss your best friend's wedding. I know she's one of like three people you honestly love. Do you want to hurt her by no showing? It'll drive a wedge between you may be forever."

"Fucking Halsted." She mutters. She hits her blue tooth "Dial Liv Lou." She commands "Who's helping you get ready?" She said before Liv could get out a word.

"Yeah, well I'm helping you now. We're not letting Rainey touch your face wedding pictures are for forever." She advises turning toward the 21st precinct,

"No, I really don't but he looks good for it O and that's a problem. No, you were right too, and me too! I only freak out because I love you and we will not become our mothers if it kills me! I'll be there." She hung up hoping Halstead didn't notice her sniffing back tears. She and Liv never fought.

-/-/-/-/-

Benny stands off to the side watching Kelly drop Olivia off at work. He kisses her and nudges a bit of windswept hair behind her ear. Benny realizes as they talk in low tones that despite everything Kelly is as happy as he ever seen.

He lets her go and she turns and catches his eye. "Livvy!" Kelly calls out.

She turns back. "It's gonna be fine! I love you!" he consoles.

"I know bye baby, see you in the morning." She stops. "Oh God, I almost forgot, be careful!" she grins at him.

He laughs. "I will and have a good day making new tiny people friends and healing things and all that!"

She waits until Kelly has driven off. "I saw you Benny. Don't even try it."

She turns to him as he says. "Hello Olivia."

'When Keeler went missing I was out and so I couldn't read Kelly's expression when he'd heard the news in the bar until I stopped thinking like a doctor and thought like a daughter. My brothers they'd do just about anything for me but ya see, there's nothing my Dad won't do for me. If he thought I needed him he'd be there. Kelly underestimates your love for your children. I don't. I don't know what you did all I know his my best friend just told me that your oldest child looks good for a crime we both know he had no part in. You can do what you want but I won't let Kelly fall for this. That will not happen. We're getting married tomorrow morning at Navy Pier after our shift ends. Please come, I think it'd mean more to Kelly than he's aware of." She starts to roll off/

"Why don't you?" he asks her back and she twist to look at him

"Why don't you underestimate my love for Kelly and the others?"

"Because I've been loved by him the way he loves didn't happen by accident." She answers and rolls off.

-/-/-/=/=/

Kelly finds Lindsay "Where are we doing this? Because I got shit to do that actually makes a difference." He growls out frustrated with her and all of it.

"I can't interview you I'm too close because of Livvy and helping you find Katie."

"Oh by the way? Thanks for ruining something that's meant to be important and exciting by making Liv cry. We're getting married and no matter what you may think? I really do just wanna marry my woman. Even if she wants to freeze our asses off at the pier for that one really cute picture with the Ferris wheel in the background. That's right I know her better than you think."

"Hey Kelly I'll be interviewing you." Voight interrupted.

-/-/-

"Kelly where were you Wednesday night?"

"At home, watching the tube drinking a beer." He stuffs his hands in his pockets eying Voight.

"Your room mate Leslie Shay?"

"Out with friends."

"Your girlfriend, Olivia Grayne she stay in with you?"

"Fiancée but No she was out with Detective Lindsay celebrating getting the university gig."

"Oh that's right you're marrying the Kitten. You didn't want to go with her?" He presses.

"Yes and no, I'm proud of my girl and all, I always will be but I wasn't in a social mood considering the guy who raped and beat my sister walked a couple days before. I didn't want to bring her down, I have texts but somehow I don't think I'll be enough proof of where I was." Kelly provides dryly.

"Let me see it? Time stamps might exonerate you." Kelly hands him the phone. "There's nothing dirty on here is there? She's like my second daughter. Shit! Half nude home screens qualify as dirty!" Voight gripes

"Sorry I didn't plan on anyone seeing it."

He reads the texts and laughs. "Yup, still like that kid. All this does is give us a clearer time line. You'll need a better alibi." Voight advises.

-/-/-/-

"Hey babe, how's the first day going?" Kelly asked taking the stairs out of the precinct two at a time.

Two MVA's, a penny up the noses, broken arm from a tree fall all before lunch."

"My Alibi was basically shit, and why the fuck does Voight call you Kitten? It's fucking creepy!"

" I knocked someone out for Erin once looks like a kitten fights like a tiger."

"That's my girl; you let the kid keep the penny?" He switches hands and digs out his keys to unlock his car.

"You would ask that!"

"See you in the morning?"

"Viv called my parents so Erin and I will meet you there."

"You kiss and make up? I bitched at her." He gets in the car slamming the door soundly.

"Yeah. I invited Benny to the wedding."

"You what?!"

"Sorry Kell gotta go love you baby." She hurried off the phone.

-/-/-/-/-

"This is weird we're getting ready for your wedding in a bathroom with ladybugs on the walls."

"There were Lady Bugs on my scrubs when I met Kelly granted a building blew up but it's totally kismet right?" Liv shimmies and wiggles into her dress.

"Totally."

Erin sits out all the stuff she'll need to make Livvy up. And turns on her Pandora. "Do what You Want." By Lady Gaga starts.

"Lady Gag Me how ever is bad luck!"

"Change it! Hurry! I don't wanna know what anyone does with her body!" Liv said sounding disgusted. "Zip me up,"

It switches to Oceans (Where feet may fall) by Hillsong united

"I love this song!"

"Why? Cause it's about loooove?" Erin said Zipping.

"It's about God Erin!"

"Are you sure you trust me to do this?" She grabs foundation.

"You did it for prom." Liv shrugs.

"You were my hottest prom date ever."

"Like wise." Liv closes her eyes and lets Erin go to work.

_/-/-/-

"Ok so I don't know what I'm supposed to do to help you. You're a guy."

"Yes I am, Shay just make sure the ring's in my coat pocket and go remind Mouch."

"I never thought he'd actually do it!" Shay whispers to Chief who he finds standing in the door.

"Any words of advice Chief?" Kelly asked fixing his cuff links.

"Put her first at all times, even above the thrill of the save and the fear of the fire breathing down your neck. I could never do it but every time I tried? It was for a woman like her. Losing them always hurt more than the patience and sacrifice to stick it out."

-/-/-/=

My dress is both old and new since it was Mom's and we had it updated. Now I need borrowed and blue."

"If you wanna bail Liv now's the time." Erin teases half seriously.

"Erin Autumn!"

"Olivia Blair!"

Erin takes out the sapphire studs Hank had given her for her 16th birthday "Borrowed and Blue. Let's do this thing sister!" She puts them in Liv's ears.

"I'm the one taking the plunge not you!"

"Thank God and all his angels for that!"

-/-/-/-/-/-

He'd wanted to help her from the car but her mother had thrown a fit and yelled, "Go away, get to your spot!" at him so he stood in his spot to the left of Mouch in front of the damned Ferris wheel.

She uses a handicapped ramp at the half way point down the Pier way. With Erin in front of her in her dress from the reunion her father stands behind her pushing the chair and her mother walks beside her holding her hand. They stop a moment and His heart straight up stops. Until her mother grabs a bouquet of deep purple daisies from a vendor cart and hands them to Liv.

"Mama! That's theft!" Kelly laughs. Kelly feels hand squeeze his shoulder and looks back to see Benny. A nod passes between them and until then He hadn't realized how important his approval had been.

"Your sister's on face time." Benny holds up his phone pointing it at Liv coming toward them.

Once she gets closer he can see her fully. Her hair is in an honest to god beehive with the bottom half left down and the bangs framing her face flutter in the wind coming off the lake. The dress is sleeveless and lacy. It hugs every tiny curve and the jeweled bodice highlights just how small her waist is. The skirt flows down almost covering her feet in silver flats.

She looks up at him smiling. Her eyes are done in a funky coppery smoky shade and her lips a light pink. It's natural and not overdone. For what he's sure won't be the last time she knocks the breath completely out of him.

"You look gorgeous." He said softly.

"Thank you, you look handsome yourself. Hi, how was your day?"

"A car almost fell on me but I'm good now."

Before she can yell at him. Mouch cuts in, "Who gives this woman to be wed?"

"I do." Her father replies. When Cole places her hand in his insides turn to jelly. It's real now.

"Face each other please." Mouch tells them.

"Hold on I want to stand for this."

"You're dress gonna bunch hang on." Shay said. Kelly's eyebrows rise. "I am actually a girl." She gripes to Kelly I'm going to release the knee block and hold you straight while Erin fixes it. Kelly, hang on to her so she can steady herself."

"Well yes ma'am." He said with a laugh.

Once she's all fixed they turn and realize they have amassed a crowd of onlookers turned wedding guests.

"We're here in this in this very cold place to join Kelly Benjamin Severide and Olivia Blair Grayne in marriage. If anyone should have any objections please speak now."

It's silent.

"I wrote my vows but now I'm freezing and can't think. This was a dumb idea." Liv said teeth chattering.

"No it's not," he took off his suit jacket. "Our second date? I kissed you here in this spot for the first time, you don't remember that or that you told me why the Ferris wheel is important but I do, and I like the full circle thing of it… so." He slung the coat around her shoulders. "We'll just stand close together and ignore everything else. Okay?" He pulls her as close as he can,

"Okay."

Olivia began her vows "I read all of these vow samples and they were generic and sappy. They were basically heart felt lies to sound pretty. I'm not doing that. I can't promise that I won't annoy you or just flat out piss you off sometimes, because I will and we both know it. What I can promise is that no matter what happens to us I will always love you. I will be faithful that's not a promise it's a fact. I cannot however promise not to mow down your past lovers with my chair on sight. I promise to be patient with you as you follow your passions to fight fires and save people. I promise to always tell you the truth and stand beside you through life's battles."

"You're not really going to mow down the exes are you because there's a lot? Like a whole lot." Mouch said.

"I've seen Zoya and Renee you'd mow em' down too Mouchy,"

"Which Renee there were two?" Shay said poking the bear just to see Kelly blush.

"It doesn't seem fair to mow down the stripper so she gets a pass."

"It's my turn and I have a whole speech!" Kelly said getting thing back on track.

"Right I'm sorry go baby,'

"It's okay you guys are getting along never thought I'd see that." He said brushing her hair back from her face.

"I really had no idea what to say until just before we got here so just go with it okay?" she nods.

"To me, there are two phases in my life before Livvy and after Livvy. I always swore that I'd guard my heart from love because every time I'd given it an honest try? I'd get burned. Not with you though. You've woven your way into my heart and into I who I am. I have never loved anyone the way I love you. I can't promise I'll never fuck things up because I will, as the "I love you." Debacle has already proven. I can tell you this though I will always do my best to fix the things I mess up and I will keep every promise I ever make too you. Before you all I had was the job. Now, you will always come first. You are the first thing I think of every time I step in those boots and pull on the bunker gear. You are the reason I feel blessed every time I make it home. I'm not waiting for the next shift anymore. I look forward to seeing you and making you proud every day. You're that person my mom told me to pray my way too. I want you to know in your heart that you are the only woman left in mine. Whatever my past is I'm yours and yours alone."

There's a beat of silence and Kelly brushes away Liv's tears.

"Wow, I think that's the first thing I've heard you say that wasn't total bullshit!" Mouch said. It had been cloudy all day but now thunder rumbles menacingly overhead.

"Mouch its cold and about to rain, just do your preacher thing!"

"Rings please."

She turns from Kelly's grasp. "Erin! You have it!" she hands Liv a platinum band with an Onyx inlaid center.

"Just repeat after me. With this ring, I seal and symbolize my vows."

"With this ring, I seal and symbolize my vows." She slid the ring on to his hand. "I thought this was pretty but still manly enough you'd wear it."

"I will. Your ring it's in the inside left coat pocket." He points to the coat around her.

She takes the ring out and hands it too him. "With this ring I seal and symbolize my vows. The ring sparkles on her finger. A rain drop falls on her hand.

"You're married, man and wife. Now hurry and kiss before it rains and my old ass and bad knees have to run." Mouch said.

They kissing laughingly as it begin to rain. "Sit, sit, sit before the beehive thing-a-majig is ruined."

She said making the chair collapse back to sitting. "And my dress!" that too!" he pushes her and they all run into the closest store. A baby clothing store. "Is this some kinda sign from God to get on the baby train early?" Liv Jokes.

Katie laughs. "Kate, hi how are you?" Liv asked stealing Benny's phone and flipping the camera around to face them. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, giving thought to the New York position. Thanks for the support group info. It's helped."

"Not a problem, it's my job."

"Kelly your vows only contained one expletive I'm proud. "Katie teased and Kelly rolled his eyes.

-/-/-/-/

Benny and Liv's parents combined their money for a suite at the Waldorf Astoria as a wedding gift. They promptly strip out of their wedding clothes and fall into bed and go fast to sleep.

A few hours later Kelly shakes her awake. "Baby! There's a TV in the bathroom! We can watch Man, Woman, Wild, and take a bath together the tub's fucking huge!"

"Kelly, you're weird. I wanted a hot rock massage." She said grumpy from being woken up.

It's expensive I'll rub your back and other things for free." He raised his eye brows.

"Pervert."

"I'm serious roll over."

The massage quickly turns sexual and he flips her over. "I was almost asleep."

"I'll wake you up." The onyx in his ring shimmers in the sunlight cast over them as he grabs her hands and holds against the mattress.

She looks at the ring thinking just how far they'd come. "What?" he mutters finding the spot behind her ear.

"Nothing…ahh the ear is dirty pool."

He smirks "I love you."

-/-/-/-/-

"Whatcha doin' wife?"

"You were dying to try that word out weren't you?" she grins while pulling her hair back.

"Kinda yeah."

"How'd it feel husband who destroyed my hair?"

"Pretty okay, gotta say I like it. You should leave down. Add one or two of your stolen daises for decoration."

"You just like my hair."

"I do yes, but I love you." He kissed the crook of her neck. "Leave it, just brush out the sex knots so your Mom doesn't death stare me." She drops her hands and looks at Kelly kissing her shoulder in the mirror.

"My mom doesn't death stare you, Dad yeah maybe but not Mom." He strips and steps into the shower,

"You're right we need our own digs." He said

"Seriously?" she asked,

"Uh, we're married so yeah."

"How's Shay gonna feel?"

"Honestly, I think it'll be fine. Gotta grow up some time. I should build you one of these roll in shower things."

"Good intentions baby but you can't build shit." She laughs. "We'll hire Owen or Casey"

"Ouch."

"Honesty it was in my vows I think? It was so cold I stopped feeling my face." She told him.

"No frostbite I just checked you over thoroughly."

"Oh is that what you're calling that?" She joked.

"Liv."

"Hm."

"I didn't do what they think I did. I didn't marry you for any reason other than it's what I've wanted since you were waking up next to me not knowing who I was but trusting me anyway. I swear as much as I wanna hurt Keeler it wasn't me." He confesses.

"It was Benny, Kelly." She confides braiding a flower into her hair.

"I thought so I just-"

"Take it from a girl who knows what it's like to see pain her parents' eyes over something they'll never be able to fix. It never ever goes away. It'll always be there but he did it."

-/-/-/-

When they walk into Moly's it's no longer a neighborhood bar but a woodland wonderland draped in creamy white with deep green and chocolate accents.

All of the floral a arrangements are white and green and the Pub art is covered by black and white photos of the pair and of Hermann and his wife Cindy with whom they share a wedding day.

"Wow…You didn't tell me Viv was a female David Tuterra." Kelly said.

"How in the hell do you know who that is?" Liv looks over at her sharply dressed husband as if he has two heads.

"I may have watched My Fair Wedding in a drunken depressed stupor after the first Renee."

"Wait! Wait!" Hadley hollers. "I throw flowers."

"Hads. That part is over baby." Kelly tries.

"Sissy promise. "She puts her hands on her hips and eyes Liv impatiently.

"I did, do you need me to go back out?"

"Yes, no Keely you stay. Look happy." Hadley commands.

She rolls back out and comes back in to follow Hadley back to a laughing Kelly once the girl runs out of flowers.

She kissed top of Hadley's head. "I love you to the top of the world Hads."

"Loves you Libby." She said

"I'm goona go find ViviAnne and say thank you, this is amazing."

"Gonna go say hi to the guys."

"Where's Viv?" she directs to Shay.

"In the back fiddling with the cake."

She rolls back further into the bar but keeps getting stopped by people congratulating her and Vivi met her halfway. "Hey there Sis," Vivi hugged her. "How does being married feel? Mom's dress looks fantastic on you!"

"Viv, you did an amazing job. It all looks awesome! Thank you so much. I know I broke our promise and this must have been difficult for you." Liv had made a promise when Vivi had come out at 17 she wasn't going to get married til Vivi could do the same.

"None sense Livvy I wanted to do this. I will get married someday same as you. Until then I enjoy seeing siblings happy. "She kissed Liv's cheek.

"I am happy." She said contentedly.

"I gotta say I wasn't real sure how he'd fit in all our crazy but he seems to do okay." They look over and he's standing with his boys her little brother on one hip and a beer in the other hand as they all conversed. Josh laid his head on Kelly's shoulder fighting sleep.

"Why is there a penis cake next to my wedding cake?" Liv asked noticing the cakes.

"Ask your husband."

-/-/-/-

As they all sit down to dinner a video starts playing on a screen Vivi had set up.

"Martial Advice, from some married and single people a like." The screen read.

"This could be very bad." Kelly murmured. He put his arm around Liv.

"And hilarious." She retorted.

Mara and Cole Grayne Married 37 years:

"Ok so advice? Whatcha got love?" Cole asked Mara. They stand together at the pier Erin must have recorded it earlier.

"Pray with and for each other. Always be honest, especially if you'd rather lie. Back each other up with your children. And always kiss goodnight and not just because he's attractive Livvy, but because it makes the last action you take that day about each other." Mara said. Liv tears up and she takes Kelly's pocket square to dab her eyes.

"Ollie when he really pisses you off? Don't make him sleep on the couch. Little secret? That's not punishment we like the couch. Make him sleep with your toddler when you have one. They pee the bed and they kick."

"Daddy!" She admonishes as everyone laughs.

"Keep watching it gets better."

Christopher & Cindy Hermann Married 20 years (Today):

"Never go to bed angry simply because in our profession you don't want to carry around useless anger on what might very well be your last day. You don't want the last thing she hears from you to be angry and mean. Always say I love you and be quick to forgive." Hermann said. The video obviously taken in 51.

"Liv you're part of an exclusive club now. You're a Fire Wife, its okay worry here and there you'd be insane not too occasionally because Kelly's nuttier than squirrel shit in a charming, loveable way. Call me if you ever need an ear." Cindy said.

Owen & Lindsey Grayne Married 10 years:

"White lies are okay, plan to show up everywhere late but very well dressed. You are going to find an alarming amount of hair in the shower drain. I promise a Wooly Mammoth did not meet its death your tub. Livvy sheds, a lot."

"Owen!"

"It's true LIndz!" Liv threw a roll at Owen.

Langston & Sarah Anne Grayne Married 3 years:

"It's simple Sis, life is short and nothing is ever promised. Love like there's no tomorrow and be happy and the rest will work itself out!"

"What he said! Sarah Anne added.

"Love you guys." They said.

Joe Cruz: (Briefly engaged to a Russian bar maid.): "Uh, sex is always a good thing!"

Grady Grayne (He ate worms at the request of his kindergarten crush actual earthworms that's love)

"Never ever drive the mustang Livvy; never come between a man and his car." Grady was deadly serious.

"Preach it Grady!" Kelly said.

Tess Grayne: I think you should buy her candy once a week, it shows you think about her.

Hadley Grayne: I wants Keely when Libby done with him.

"That's my girl Hadley Faith, keeping it all in the family." Liv added laughing.

-/-/-/-

Liv comes out of the bathroom brushing her hair and wearing his "Off Duty Save Yourself." Tee shirt. Kelly stands in his underwear staring out the wide picture window. "Hoping for an adoring public baby? Not likely we're on the seventh floor."

"I'd settle for an adoring wife. C'mere."

"Kelly what's wrong?" She took his hand

"Erin called while you were in the tub. I'm off the hook. Otis too."

"Good, I wasn't going to stand for anything else."

"Now, I know why Dad flaked on the reception."

"Will they arrest him?"

"You know Voight, you tell me." He said quietly.

"Hank believes in justice, even the vigilante kind. Benny's all good baby."

"Dance with me."

"I can't." she shakes her head.

"You can."

"We're in our underwear and chair dancing with the kids isn't the same. There's no judgment."

"I want to dance with my wife on what little's left of my wedding day and I will." He scooped her up and spun her around "Kelly!" she squealed. He kissed her hair still damp from her bath.

They dance around the room with no music. "I'm happier than I've ever been Liv."

"Me too."


	12. Chapter 12

She sat feet dangling in the water as she watched Kelly swim laps in the hotel pool while she read her book. She couldn't feel the water unless she stuck her hand in the heated water but that didn't matter. She looked normal, felt normal if for only a second.

Kelly pops up for air and goes back down. She returns to her trashy book.

When she looks up again after a few pages she notices a svelte Indian woman wearing a red one piece that fit her every curve. The woman watches Kelly intently as he moves through the water. Liv gets it after all she'd just gotten caught up looking at him all strength and unlikely grace as he glides through the water. The woman walks toward her and the first thing that strikes Liv is that those boobs weren't gifted by God. The coal dark eyes and pretty lashes were though.

"May I sit with you?" she asked and Liv shrugs feeling suddenly very chaste in her paisley print tankini.

When Kelly surfaces the woman kicks water at him playfully. "Kelly Severide!"

"Anna." His tone implies shock at seeing the woman and she know it's someone from his storied past.

They have been married a day and a half and one of his conquests pops out of the woodwork. She watches and waits to see what Kelly will do.

"I'm in town for a conference. We should have dinner or something." She knew what or something implicated.

"I can't." he said without any emotion. He swam toward Liv as through Anna was shark infested waters. Good boy. "I'm married, this is my wife Olivia." He smiles and pats Liv's thigh and his wedding band catches Anna's eye.

Anna looks a bit sick as she stares at Liv. Then she eyes the chair behind Liv and just like that the normal girl feeling is gone. "Huh, never thought you'd marry a charity fuck." She said nonchalantly and Kelly's bright smile fades just a bit he hadn't been looking for approval but general kindness would be nice.

"I didn't because that was you. "He retorts his smile turning razor sharp. No one spits hate at his girl no matter how hot the sex had been. He'd been a bit high it probably wasn't as great as he'd remembered.

Anna gets up and hurry's off. He wraps an arm around Liv's waist. "Put down the Kindle Baby. I'm gonna pull you in." she sets it aside with care.

"I don't want to get my hair wet I just paid a shit ton for some funky treatment to increase shine." She complains as he pulled her in

"April and Jackson screw yet?" He asked towing them out to the center of the pool.

"No, that was a Grey's fanfic and now I'm reading a totally filthy book by Jami Aldean." She runs her hands up and down his arms.

"How filthy?" he kissed her and she's not sure if it's because Anna might still be watching or just because he wants too but it's the kind of kiss she feels in her bones. "We're not having sex in the pool Kelly." She whispers against his lips and wraps her arms around his neck kissing him back. He lifts her up a little still kissing her. He flops backward pulling her under with him.

Seconds later they come up sputtering. "Kissing underwater is not as easy as it looks in the movies." Kelly coughs.

"No shit Honey, I have chlorine in my sinus cavity." He kisses her shoulder in an attempt to distract her. "You gonna tell me the story of red swim suited very jealous Anna or should I just mow her down in practice for the rest of Chicago's feminine population?" She eyes the woman glaring at her a final time before leaving.

"Drug rep, I screwed around with on occasion she helped me out of a meds jam with my neck that's all casual meaningless sex. And it's not all of the female population you forgot to discount the lesbians." He gives her a shit eating grin.

She shoves at him laughingly but he hangs on tight. "It never stops with you! I feel like a prude next you."

"What's your number?" He asked honestly curious.

"Truth? Just four."

"We're in water is this where you leave me in the water to freeze to death like Jack at the end of Titanic?" he asked carrying forward one of their long running jokes.

"What for drawing French whores or being one?" she retorted teasingly. "There was totally room for two people on that door! Bitch was being greedy."

"Well I'm not French!" he points out.

"The whore thing?"

"That I'll cop too! "He allows.

"If there's another one of your booty calls roaming this hotel then I can and will kill you and make it look like natural causes I'm a doctor no one will ever know it was me."

"Get your own door mother fucker mighta worked too!" he retorted.

"I'm just saying, you have a shit ton of exes at least 5 follow me on Instagram to ogle you."

"Really which ones?" he asked.

"I will rip your McFireballs off." She answered smiling and pecked him on the lips.

/-/-/-

"Leslie come here babe. This is cute." Vivi reads Liv's Facebook/Instagram post. "I look up to check on my husband who thought the hot rock massage was a waste of money he could microwave gravel and rub me down to find this."

She hits play on the vid. He sleeps snoring loudly. "Kelly…" Liv whispers. "Yup won that one." She continues. The video stops on Liv's happy face.

-/-/-/-

"I don't wanna go back to work." She pulled the covers over their heads.

"Let's stay inside the honeymoon cocoon forever." She whines.

"Nice idea, but you have tiny lives to save. I have flames to fight, besides what would eat and there's a high likelihood I would Dutch oven you while cocooned."

"Well that moment is ruined!"

"C'mere."

"No you're going to fart on me or belch or something." She backs away.

"I'm not! I swear, just come here." He said laugh and pulling her to him.

He kissed her. "We have a few hours till check out."

"Again!"

"Anytime, all the time, hell any time you offer I'm up for the job."

"You know I love a good dirty pun."

-/-/-/-/-

They begrudgingly check out of the hotel and return to reality Kelly opens the front door and they're hit with the sounds of breathy moans and soft curses.

"Nuh uh, nope I can't'!" Liv turns and is halfway down the ramp before he can blink. "I cannot hear my sister having sex! I draw the line we've got to move."

"We have sex with them in the house all the time!" Kelly plays devil's advocate.

"Not loud sex we don't, I barely breathe…"

"Vivi saw me naked!"

"And I said we needed to move!"

"Okay, I gotcha baby." He disappears inside. He shouts. "Just call me when you're done Shay!" he exits the apartment with his laptop. "Let's go surf for apartments and drink girly coffee."

-/-/-/-

Kelly wakes her up the next morning. "I have a present for you." He hands a medium sized box. Wrapped in brown paper with pink writing a pink flouncy ribbon with a sparking silver heart attached. "Ok so I may have let Vivi wrap it as I will with every gift I give you from now on, be careful unwrapping it apparently the paper has our vows written on it and the bow is actually a scarf you wanted forever ago." She unwraps it so carefully it takes her ten minutes and then she folds the paper in a neat square.

"Yup the OCD is a familial condition Shay." He shouts to his roommate and best friend.

"If I could, I'd kick you. Stop ruining my present buzz." She opens the box and folded neatly inside is a new lab coat. Stitched on the breast just above the pocket in rainbow thread is Dr. Olivia Severide M.D.

"How'd you get this so fast? I love it!" She kissed him. "Thank you!"

"I planned ahead. Dig in the pockets there's something else." She checks the pockets and finds the rose gold love knot ring he'd given her for Valentine's Day. "I know you lost it in the collapse and now that I definitely feel the meaning behind it I wanted to replace it."

"Kelly…"

"Hey, I can give just cause I love you presents can't I?"

"Yes, I love you too!" She kissed him again "Ready to attack the day Husband?"

He smiled. "You know it wife."

-/-/-/-/-

She pulls up to the firehouse. "Can you help me pin my rings to the inside of my scrub top?"

"Yeah. He leans across the console she takes the rings off and hands them too him along with a safety pin. "There you go, they're safe." She looks over his shoulder.

"We have an audience Kell." He glances back and Jones is staring them down.

"Girl better tread carefully with me. She's been warned." They watch her walk toward the truck.

"Oh joy she's feeling social again." Liv quipped.

He rolls down the window. "What do you want Jones?" he barks.

"To speak to your wife sir, I'd like to apologize for my earlier behavior." She replied quietly seemingly cowed.

"Go ahead." Kelly permits.

"The things I said were uncalled for and wrong I'm sorry in an attempt to fit in with my co-workers I took things to way too far and I apologize sincerely."

"Apology accepted, for future reference insulting any one of your supervisors or coworkers significant others doesn't win you friends and only serves to make you seem short sighted petty and generally ignorant. We both know what you honestly wanted but sleeping with the people you work with never turns out the way you want trust me. Also, it wasn't smart to make an enemy of Kelly because he understands the mountain you'll have to climb because people think you're an entitled fire brat instead of the second generation fire woman you want to be. The glaringly obvious difference between you and Kelly? You actually believe you are entitled. Knock that chip off your shoulder before you kill someone I love." She stares her down smiling when Jones slings off to lick her wounds.

"Too much?" she asks.

"Nah, she deserved a good shot of honesty." He leans across the console and kisses her. "Love you. Have a good day." And he's out of the car.

"Back at you! Be careful." She shouts out the window as he walks off.

-/-/-/-

The first call of the day is totally horrific. He'd love nothing more than to go home to Livvy, When Shay brings over the little girl's panda bear he jumps at the chance to go with Casey to the hospital. "Shay which hospital are they at?" he asks.

"Comer Children's go hug your wife. It's written all over your face Dude." She returned as she climbed back into the rig.

-/-/-/-

He finds her sitting at the nurses' station putting info into a file and using the phone. "Just put me on the line with the transplant coordinator for the transfer please. Yeah well I'd appreciate it please; being that time is literally racing against tissue death and all that. Fine I don't care if I have to take damn kidney to Idaho myself and for the last time my name is Dr. Severide!" she slams the phone down. She pulls off the polka dotted surgical cap and lays her head down. "No one that stupid should be given power." She mutters to herself making him smile. He reaches forward and squeezes the back of her neck. She swats at his hand while turning ready to attack.

"Jesus Kelly!" she curses drawing a breath.

"Nice reflexes babe. Good reaction time."

"What are you doin' here?" he undid her seat belt and released the knee block. He picked her up and held her in a hug. "I needed one of these so I thought I'd come get one."

She hugged him back and breathed in the spicy scent of his aftershave. "You okay?"

"Bad call."

"The Brooker call Shay said it was sad." She murmurs into his shoulder.

"That's one word for it. Heartbreaking is another. What's wrong with your day Doc Livvy?" he hitches her up with one arm and cups her cheek in his hand.

"No saves all losses today a nine year old boy accidently shot his six year old sister. I helped harvest her organs today and now? Now the person meant to pick up a kidney never showed so I will go deliver it. I'll be home late. I'm sorry baby."

"Don't apologize for doing your job Liv." He brushed the hair escaping her bun behind her ear.

"Don't drop me. That'll only make my day embarrassing as well as shitty." He laughs and leans into kiss her.

"This is what I needed." He said lowly. "Just one minute with you."

"Severide! The jet is ready for you." Kelly turns with her in his arms and belatedly realizes they're speaking to Liv. "Oh you meant my wife." He smirks proudly.

"Put me down I gotta go." He settles back in the chair. "I love you! That's mostly what I came to say, so I love you fly safe."

-"I love you. Stay safe, I need one less thing to worry over today."

"I'll give it my best shot Livvy."

She kisses him a final time waves to Casey and leaves.

She reminds me of Hallie sometimes. She's perfectly happy to run herself into the ground to save someone.

-/-/

Once in the air she texts him.

His phone buzzes and he picks it up and reads. "Kelly, I'm bored you wanna house hunt?"

"How'll we do that with you thirty thousand feet in the air?" he retorts smartly chuckling to himself.

"Via text I book marked some Zillow links on your phone last night. PS Do not remind me how high in the air I am I hate flying."

"Learning new things about the wifey, every day."

On the plane Liv's face contorts into disgust as she types. "Wifey? It's just like boo. Just don't you aren't Usher. Link 1 thoughts?" there's a pause as he looks.

"It's in the ghetto and is a dump."

"I thought it was a fixer upper and was cheap."

"There is fixer upper and then there's crack den dumpy. No my baby, just no."

Link 2?"

"It's far from work and that kitchen is fugly. Fixable but fugly. It's a maybe."

"Third links the charm?" she tries hopefully.

"Are you fucking out of your mind Olivia? Its one point five million dollars. We ain't poor but we ain't that rich."

"But I love it. It's my dream house."

"I get it baby it's a beautiful home but we can't not yet anyway. Maybe it's a dream we work toward?"

"Okay. I'm wearing the sad face just so you know."

"It was the in house library that set your little doctoral heart a flutter wasn't it." He answers adding a winky face.

"Ya know your girl Severide. Love you."

"Love you more."

"The town house has promise." He texted back.

"The kids' rooms would be tiny and it's still pretty high."

"The kids are nonexistent and proverbial at this point Livvy. I've saved enough from the whole Renée non baby thing that we'd be able to put a chunk down, wanna check it out?"

"Sure that and the maybe house? Sweet Jesus what is it with this town and those horrendous awnings on everything!"

"Haha! You noticed that too huh?" he texts back as Shay walks up.

"What ya doin?" Shay inquired tilting her head to see the text.

"Keeping Liv company." The alarm goes off.

"Got a call brb." He texted back.

-/-

The next morning she honks the horn as he's talking to Jones. "That's my ride and my wife. See ya Jones."

He gets in the passenger side. And Shay gets in the back. "Hey y'all."

"Hey baby, you ever get a good save you never texted back." He leans over planting a kiss on her cheek.

"I delivered the kidney to its current owner and flew back just in time to stop a toddler from over dosing on Tylenol. Now, I'm here."

"And what have you eaten today?" Shay asked knowing doctors had less time to eat than they did.

"A granola bar, three grapes and a slice of someone else's pizza."

"Livvy!" Kelly admonishes.

"I was taking vital organs on plane rides and saving babies I didn't have time for food. I wanna just go pee and go to bed."

"Honey you haven't peed? Since when? It's not good for you to hold it." Kelly said knowing her body reacts differently to any physical stressor.

"I didn't think you could hold it?" Shay asked.

"I can I just… sometimes you can't so you need assurances. And I peed at like ten o'clock last night if you must know." She finished side glancing at Kelly.

"See you guys really are in love you can talk about bodily functions. Viv blushes every time she has to drop a deuce at my house."

"Probably because my nickname is Deuce Shay." Liv grinned

"Deuce?" Shay's face screws up.

"Deuce as in I'm the second child."

=/-/-/-

"Hey!" she poked Kelly's chest. "I liked Mom's always kiss goodnight rule."

He kissed her. "Goodnight I love you." He laughs shaking his head at her.

He pulls her into his body. "You make a great little spoon." He falls asleep with his nose in her flowery scented hair and her head resting on his arm. It'll be numb when he wakes up but that's fine with him.

-/-/-/-

He wakes to Shay poking him in the shoulder. "I couldn't sleep so I found you a house."

"Stalker much." He mutters looking at her through sleep bleary eyes.

"It's awesome! Get up." He groans but knows better than to leave Shay to her own devices.

He gets up and lets Liv sleep.

-/-/-/-

Liv comes awake with Kelly lying on top of her. "Ready to attack the day Babe?"

"No ready to go back to sleep. He kissed her neck. "Get off of me, Kelly Severide." She said with steel in her voice.

Steel Kelly completely ignores. "I found us a house." He kisses her cheek she hears a thud. "Ouch! Damn it Shay! Shay found it."

"She kicked you didn't she? Good! Because I want to too! Get off me!" she grumbled.

"If I get off of you and go get you Starbuck's will you love me again and get in a better mood?" Kelly bargains grinning down at her.

"Mood improvement only if you include an overpriced cookie and I love you anyway but I still want coffee. Espresso double shot."

"It'll give you the trots." He said getting up.

"Nice Kell real classy." She threw a pillow at him but missed.

-/-/-/-

When Kelly returns she's sitting on the couch in Chevron print lounge pants and an off the shoulder "Fire Wife" tee shirt with a badge symbol in the center. Her hair is twisted and clamped to the back of her head.

She looks good in that not even trying way that only she can pull off.

"Are you in a better mood my love? "He asked.

"I wasn't in a bad one. I just wasn't awake." She takes the coffee he offers.

She looks up as he stands over her. "Let's save the house we think we'll like best for last that way, we will know we don't want the-"He kisses her. She makes oomph noise like he's knocked the air from her.

"Good mornin' Babe." He plopped down beside her.

"Morning."

"That cookie was truly overpriced so enjoy it."

"Want a bite?" she waves the cookie in front of him.

"Oh I want a bite but not of that."

"Kelly! You get more perverted with time!"

"Oh but I can back it up."

"You're just lucky I love you." She bit into the cookie.

"That I am."

"New house means rooms to have sex in. Just sayin' Livvy."

"So you wanna christen every room?" he just wiggles his eyebrows at her and sips his coffee.

"Bathroom tile is cold."

"You can be on top." He said dead seriously. She laughs uproariously in that bubbly way he loves.

-/-/-/-

The first house has no handicap access. The second one the doors are too narrow to fit through. The third is too small.

"I hate this feeling. Like the world forever fights against me."

"We have one house left Baby, don't get discouraged."

"It's hard not too Kelly. I can't bounce down the stairs in an arctic winter. If the doors are too narrow I can't get in or once I'm in I can't get out." She stared pensively out the window she's propped up on.

"Liv, I don't care if I have to build from the ground up so we can have the home we want and it fits you, I'll do it."

"Baby that's sweet but expensive and illogical."

He shrugged. "I'd do it anyway. Look no stairs." He said as they pulled up to the next town house the one Shay had found.

"I can actually go in this time." She said dryly.

"Chin up buttercup we got this."

"We do?" she shook her head and stifled the urge to laugh at him.

She shot her Mom a text. "Limit the Dad-Kelly time. He's starting to talk like Daddy."

They walk in and greet the overly perky realtor named Sam. The first floor is a huge cherry wood built in library and office.

"Nice Shay she'll never leave." He mutters.

"What?"

"Nothing you like it baby?"

"A lot actually."

Doctor and fire fighter, she loves this I care about fire exits and the elevators." He directed to Sam.

"The Elevator is housed in a previous coat closet is brand new and contains the emergency phone system. Would you like to see the next floor?"

"Yes." Liv answers for them both.

The next floor is one large space containing the kitchen, living and dining rooms. A gas fire place is housed on one wall. They can stand on either end of the room and still see and hear each other, "I like it." Kelly admits

They tour the next floor.

"The bedrooms are good sized but there's a door that leads to the outside deck and a bathroom in the other. It's accident waiting to happen with kids." Liv said.

"I can fix it so those doors lock or can't be accessed Livvy."

""How long have you been married?" Sam inquires smiling.

"Six days she plans ahead." Kelly answers.

"And I have 11 siblings four of whom are under eleven."

They stand outside on the curb.

"I like it, I could see us there. I just- you don't seem enthused Kelly. If you don't want to move that's fine but I'm not going to have a family with Shay I'm having one with you or nobody."

"It's not that, it's real now. Like that's our house."

"Getting married wasn't real?" Her brows furrow.

"That was the first time it felt real. You didn't hear me that's our house."

"It is?"

"If you want it to be." He smiled grabbing her hand pulling her to him

She affixed her chair to standing and kissed him laughingly. They stood on the side walk making out.

-/-/-/-

After they get the keys and Kelly tosses a giggling Olivia over his shoulder to carry her over the threshold they stand silently in the ground floor.

Then a honk emanates from the moving van outside. "That's the girls." Liv said.

They go and unload boxes. Kelly is exiting the house to grab another load when He runs into Liv carrying boxes stacked high in her lap. "How are you seeing where to go?"

"I'm not. Help a girl out."

He grabbed the top three. "Where to?"

"Elevator this is kitchen stuff." He nestles the boxes in around her and sends her up.

On the second floor she drags boxes from the elevator and stacks them all neatly. "Sending you more up Baby." Kelly shouts.

"Okay! I can see the other moving vans furniture is here!"

Liv stands in the landing of the second floor and watches as their home is flooded by Kelly's entire squad. Casey, Gabi and Chief Bowden. Next in rolls Owen and his wife Lindsey, Liam and Lang. Erin trails in talking to Grady. Vivi closes the door.

"Hey! Let me in! V, I mean it!" Shay growls.

They laugh as Shay comes in and shoots Viv a look of irritation.

"Where do you want us? You're the boss Babe." Kelly said. He stood on the bottom step.

"I want to un pack stuff! Mama said no breakables though." Grady said.

"Look at me when you talk Bubs." Liv said gently.

"Sorry. It's more people than I expected."

"I know. It's okay, look at me? Good. I thought I could use your organizing magic in my library."

"Kelly needs to put your desk where I tell him."

"Alright." Kelly said smiling. Kelly squeezes his shoulder and Grady shrugs him off. "Right no touching."

"Guys on furniture girls on boxes?"

"Works for me." Kelly said.

"You drop my white couch in that mud outside? It's the dog house Kelly."

"You've been married a week and the lady's already threating you with the dog house?"

"I bought that couch with my first check as a doctor so yeah I am Mills."

"And it's not a threat." Kelly adds.

-/-/-/-

Liv and Erin are putting the pot rack up over the island as Bon Jovi blares out of Erin's IPod. "We're going to die trying to hang this fucker yet again."

"Look at it this was we're in a house full of rescue firemen and paramedics they'll save us."

"True and you are helping this time in your standy chair. Can you raise it a smidge higher. "Erin said standing a step ladder drill in hand. She drills her side into place. Then she moves around to Liv's side. "What is she doing here?" Erin asked and they both know who the she being referred to is Owen's wife Lindsey.

"She is here because I can't very well tell my sister in law she can't come to my house because the woman my brother sometimes screws might be there." She answered lowly through gritted. "You got it?" the irritation rolling off her tone makes it so Erin knows she's not speaking only about the rack they are hanging.

"Yeah." She replied, tired of the game Owen keeps playing at.

"Good." Liv moves to sit again leaving Erin to the rack she rolls over to the cabinets to put up dishes.

Livvy Honey?" Kelly said bounding up the stairs and swinging into the kitchen. There's tenseness to the silence surrounding the women and his original question stalls in his mouth to be replaced with "Is everything okay?"

Liv looks at him and the breath sighs out of her. "We're fine. You needed something?"

"Yeah where do you want the entertainment center?"

"Babe…"

"Nope you're showing me because I know you. You'll just go around behind me redoing shit that I don't really care about. I'm saving you time." He offers his hand and she takes it allowing him to tug her along behind him.

Erin watches as Liam, Lang, and Owen file past her with dining room chairs raised over their heads.

"Hey Erin where does she want these?" Owen asks.

"Around the table boy genius."

"We're bringing that up in pieces. What crawled up your butt detective?" he asked walking over and leaning on the island where she's hanging pots above his head.

"You're a no go zone." She toys with idea of dropping the sauce pan in her hand on his head.

"Since when has that stopped you?"

"We're guests in your sister's house and your wife is downstairs."

"We're just conversing." He said all innocence that grates on her nerves.

"It never stops at just that. There's a reason we don't talk."

Because you are afraid of feeling anything for anyone who's not in your select chosen few." She stares down at him dumbfounded for a solid minute.

"No, I don't fear shit. Loving you makes me stupid there's a difference."

"So you do love me?" the smack to his head is hard and unexpected. "Damn it Liv!" Erin has the nerve to smile.

"Your wife's downstairs stop being an asshole." Liv reprimands.

"If you even think about hitting her back I'll knock you on your ass." Kelly warns.

"I'm not going to hit her!" He points to Erin "She has a gun."

"I'd use it too."

"Oh fuck off both of you. I'm not hitting my sister for checking me I deserved it."

-/-/-/-/-

: All of the big moving done they all sit around the living room eating pizza and drinking beer. The conversations and laughter overlap but something's missing. Liv sits stock still in Kelly's lap. "Guys, where's Grady?"

Grady!" Every woman in the house screams and goes in the direction the last left him.

"Vivi! Livvy! I'm still in the library!"

"Bug you can stop I'll finish." Liv said.

"No, I'm alphabetizing and organizing by genre in conjunction with the height you can reach from your chair! I want to finish my project."

"I didn't even know what conjunction meant at his age." Kelly whispered to her. "Come get some pizza little man!" he said louder.

Grady runs up the stairs and grabs his pizza. "I'm taking your chair to double check my height measurements. He gets in the chair. He rolls to the elevator.

"Grady." Liv called

"I'll hug you later when no one can see. Bye."

"I was going to say thank you."

"Welcome."

"I'll hug you now." Kelly offers.

"He's not affectionate. Its part of the autism he'll hug you but only sparingly and god help you if you try to kiss him and you're not our mother." Owen provides.

"The measurements?" Casey asked.

"Did them in his head. Grade is freakishly smart." Liv answered.

-./-/-

After everyone leaves Liv is putting up knick knacks and hanging things as Kelly locks up the house and walks around the house in his boxers.

"Cute husband!" Liv shouted down to him.

"Pretty Wife!" he retorted.

"I need your help hanging something."

"Okay! Why are there random pots of boiling hot wax everywhere?"

"It's scentsy didn't you live with a lesbian?"

"I did but she's not the girliest of lesbians. What is scentsy and what am I hanging?"

"It's a wickless candle and I want this sign there." She points to the wall on the stairway. "Stairs are an issue for me." She hands him a hammer and nail.

"Those things are fires waiting to happen. Turn them off at night or when you aren't here. I love you and all but I'd rather not rescue you again!" he hammers a nail into the spot she'd picked on the wall.

"Yes Daddy." She quipped.

"That's creepy. Please don't. You know I typically hate firefighter kitschy shit but this is sweet."

The black wooden sign with red and writing reads in this firefighter's home we always: Put family first. Give hugs and kisses, say I love you. Listen for tones work hard and play harder. Kiss goodbye, help others, say please and thank you, check in after every call. Pray, love our firefighter.

"It was a house warming gift from Viv and Shay. I thought if I hung some stuff up it'd feel like home."

"It feels odd without them not gonna lie." He admits.

"You've never lived alone have you Kelly?"

"Not for any real amount of time."

"Honey, do you need to call Shay to say goodnight?" She jokes playfully.

"Oh bite me."

"I just might." She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him.

He picks her up and carries her upstairs. "Man, I love you."

"Your boxers are tacky but I love you too."

"That bothering you?" he asked.

"Well they are factually incorrect you list to the left. The pointy fingers should be flip flopped." The right leg has a finger pointing up and it reads "The man" on the left leg the finger points to his junk. It reads "The legend"

"I don't list anywhere." He laughs.

-/-/-/-

"One room down. Seventeen left to go." He said rolling off of Liv.

Liv just laughed. "These cloud print sheets? We're changing them tomorrow." He said.

"I couldn't find my non wintry ones and these are what I could find."

"Can ask you a question Livvy? Do you think I'm always looking to save someone or that it is tied to my self-worth?" he turns on his side and looks at her. They lay on their sides look at each other.

"I think you can't do what we do and not see that the whole world needs saving. Is it tied to your worth never?" She takes his hand.

"That meds jam I mentioned? It was more than a jam baby. I was borderline addicted because I couldn't accept that my body had to give in and that I might not ever again get to be what I am. If it's not tied to me why'd I do that?"

"Kelly where's this coming from?"

"The guy I told you about Bloom he made a crack. I went to check on him when I picked up the pizzas it just rang a little too true."

"Kelly you had only your job at the time. I understand why you'd cling to it. I'm the same that way. What we do matters to us. Always will but when the time comes we'll weigh what's best for us and do that right? That is why you stopped right?"

"I stopped because Shay kicked me in the ass."

"Remind me to thank her." She squeezed his hand.

"I don't even take Tylenol now babe. You know I saw your influence on me yesterday when I heard Mrs. Brooker was suing I got it. I understood. When people lose their everything they need a place to shove the pain. Everyone else is offended. Not me, I'd of sued the Killian Arena owners in heart beat if I thought it'd do any good. I was so pissed and scared when you got hurt? I'd of done anything to fix it."

"I'm still here." She kissed him. "Now which one of us is going to turn out the lights?"

"I'll do it. I need to pee anyway." He goes to the bathroom and turns off the scentsy after washing his hands. He burns his wrist on the wax bowl fucking ow, fucking everywhere!" he muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing Baby."

-/-/-/=

Olivia and Viv have been painting the second floor in every spare moment. So Kelly isn't surprised to find her sitting in the middle of scaffolding stenciling a wall.

"Baby have you seen my black dress suit and shirt?"" he stands on the stairs in his running gear.

"Still at the cleaners from the wedding." She answers not looking away from what she's painting.

"We got married three weeks ago Livvy!" he gripes.

"And the cleaner is on the north side, I've been busy getting our house together."

He rolled his eyes. "Painting parties with your sister are so important. Just so you know it looks like a circus tent in here! "She twists to glare at him.

"I asked your opinion and you shrugged and said whatever babe." She said imitating him.

"I don't talk like that and would you stop twisting before you fall off that thing! When will you learn you can't do everything just because you tell yourself that you can?"

"Excuse me! Just as soon as you learn you're a spoiled bitch and the world doesn't always revolve around the omnipotent Kelly Severide." She almost shouts.

She tosses down her paintbrush. "I can do anything I fucking good and goddamn well please even if it takes me five extra steps right now I'm perfectly happy to remind you that your spare suit is the closet and your ties are in the third drawer and because you pissed me off I'm not stopping my project to make your breakfast. You have four fully functional and capable limbs do it your fucking self." She points at him.

She hears him knocking around upstairs but doesn't move he takes the stairs two a time all the way down when door slams resoundingly she waits for him to turn around come back in and kiss her goodbye.

The car starts and then pulls away the tears crowding her eyes and blurring the words on the wall drip down her cheeks.

After most of her crying is over her mother calls. "It's your mother, mommy's on the phone pick up-"the minion voice rings out of her phone.

"Hey Mama."

"You finish it Ollie?"

"Almost, just the smoke and burns left." She sniffles.

"You okay? You were so excited to do this for him and you sound tired."

"He hates the entire room. I forgot his suit on an important day, it wasn't intentional honest. We fought." Her voice becoming small as another crying jag revs up.

"How bad?"

"He left without two words to me." The tears start again.

"I feel like shit Mom."

"When Viv comes over with the kitchen paint I want you to stop what you're doing and go get ice cream."

-/-/-/-

They all stand around the quiet locker room in their suits.

"Severide, you look like you ate a lemon what's up?" Mills asked.

"Got in a fight with Liv."

"What'd you do?" Casey asked.

"Why's it gotta be me?"

"Buddy its always you, just accept it." Hermann said.

"So what'd you do?" Cruz asks again.

"I said our living room looked a circus tent and may have called her lazy in a veiled manner then I told her she couldn't do something." All of them look at him like he's dumber than dirt.

"Please take this in the manner its intended sir. Because as the only woman in the room I feel the need to speak for all women. You're a dumb ass." Jones replied.

"She called me omnipotent I don't even know what it means!" he adds totally beside himself.

"It means god like, all powerful but in the context she was most likely using it means this asshole thinks he's center of the universe." Mouch answered.

-/-/-/-

Sitting in on the deposition is heart wrenching enough but to know he'd left the house without telling Liv he loved her made it that much worse. For the first time in just shy of a year no less. Once it's over he's on a mission to get home.

"Severide, go home and apologize. So you will live in a circus tent but the important thing? Is you're happy in it." Hermann said.

He nods to Hermann hurrying to his car.

-/-/-/-

When he pulls in Liv sits in Shay's truck with Vivi music blaring out of the windows. She looks at him but says nothing. He goes inside to find Shay. When he gets to the living room what he sees painted above the couch makes him stop dead in his tracks.

There amongst the faux scorch marks and smoke stains is the fireman's prayer. He knows because he'd memorized it as a child to say for his father.

Below it on notebook paper taped to the wall. "I hope you like your wedding gift. If it's too kitschy paint over it, I just wanted to show you I love all parts of you even the parts that scare me and might steal you from me one day.-Liv

"You feel like shit yet?" Shay asked coming from the kitchen. She has blue gray paint on her cheek.

He nods. He clears his throat uncomfortable with how much he wants to cry. "That's the most thoughtful gift I've ever been given."

"Grayne women are good like that."

"I insulted it. It's red so it stands out right?"

"Bingo."

"Are they out there planning ways to kill me?"

"They're eating ice cream and listening to dashboard confessional. Give her a minute, you made her cry. Just be glad your mother in law sent Viv and not Erin." Shay replied.

"She'd shoot me."

"In the crotch."

-/-/-/-

"You should probably go make up with him. Because you love him and well let's face it, you'll never get another piece of ass that fine again."

"ViviAnne!" she swats her sisters arm disapprovingly.

"Gay, not blind Deuce."

"Let's listen to Stolen one more time then I'll bite the bullet."

-/-/-

"She seems fine now." Kelly watches them through the front window. They're singing and chair dancing along.

"That was because V wouldn't let her pout. "Shay answers from behind him.

"They're crazy. Cute but crazy."

-/ -/-

"Okay Thanks for the ice cream and the sisterly pick me up." She said once they're unloaded.

"Welcome, Imma get my broad and roll out."

"Stop spend so much time with Lang it's bad for your brain cells, hand me the god forsaken suit please."

-/-/-

"They're coming act natural." Kelly said quickly moving away from the window.

"She's your wife you aren't a peeping Tom."

-/-/-/-

"Leslie-Oh you're down stairs. We're leaving, love you sis."

"Ditto Viv."

-/-/-

They sit and stand in silence for a bit after the girls leave. "Your suit." She hands him the suit still in its dry cleaners bag. "Sorry I've been so distracted and single minded about things, it's just I never thought this…" she gestured between them. "Was ever going to happen."

"What us? Baby I told you I'm not going anywhere." He shoved off the wall and moved closer.

"I never thought I'd get married Kelly because no matter how much you tell yourself you're not? The world it makes me feel broken. Like I can't have normal things and this I wanted this more than anything. I had this vision for my life and its finally becoming what I've worked toward. If I am obsessive about paint and the house I really am sorry. I just wanted to do something nice for you and I messed it up. I know today was important and you were nervous I'm-"

He cuts her off. "Don't say you're sorry Olivia. You have no reason to be, I was being a selfish ass. I can wear whatever is in my closet you're not my maid I can do laundry and cook my own breakfast."

"I like taking care of you." She admits softly.

"Nope, I'm supposed to take care of and protect you. I promised your Dad that I would but it was never my intention to make you feel broken. Seeing you sitting sky high on the scaffolding makes my heart jump into my throat and please be careful came out totally different and all wrong." He grabs her hand and holds it.

"You still hate the living room."

"No, I don't I promise you I love it. I just saw tiny pieces not the whole picture. You took something I mentioned one time in passing and made it a part of our home. No one's ever given me such a thoughtful and heartfelt gift before."

"Stand up. Please?" he asked.

She slid the chair to stand position. "I love you." He held her face in his hands. "I didn't say that today and it screwed with my whole day." He kissed her deeply and she pulled on his tie to bring him closer and kiss him back, he laughs into her kiss. "It'll never happen again." He kissed her forehead. "I will always tell you that you're loved and say goodbye. Mrs. Brooker didn't get one and her whole heart's broken. It reminded me how lucky I was."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, want help with the kitchen?"

"Nope but if you wanna wash the paint out of my hair…" she hints.

"Oh I'm there trust woman. Trust that."

AN: Viv and Shay's wedding gift and Kelly's boxers can be found on Pinterest. The fireman's creed/prayer is real just google it. I own nothing but the plot and my characters. Thank you for all the reviews and favorites and follows. Please keep em' coming if you like it.


	13. Chapter 13

Liv had left her phone in his car so he brings it back to her while he has a second.

He walks up to the nurse's station. "This is Dr. Severide's phone could you page her-"then he hears her laugh. "Never mind."

"Seriously, I never seen someone use an arrhythmia to flirt with a twelve year old girl. "Yup your heart skipped a beat we'll have to fix it unless it's about me then we'll leave it!"

"It worked. It distracted her." Kelly watches them come around the corner a sandy haired man pushing her chair one handed and walking beside her as they talked.

She loops her scope on her neck. "Nice to know your skirt chasing charm is used for good and not evil these days."

"Just a shame it never worked on chastity belts."

"That wasn't a chastity belt it was common sense. You got more tail than a rabbit trap."

"Careful you'll give me an ego boost Darlin'" the guy flirts and Kelly's teeth grit of their own accord.

"Like you need it Jase." She looks up and sees him. "Oh wait that's my husband." She rolls toward him and Dr. Flirty follows.

"Hey Baby, everything okay?" she tilts her head up in a nonverbal cue for kiss me.

He kisses her keenly aware of the other man boring holes into him. He kisses her deeper just to fuck with the guy.

"Everything's fine. You left your phone in the car."

"Oh, I need my life line. "She makes a grabby hands gesture.

"Erin's texted you five times in as many minutes." He pulls her phone from his pocket, in its zebra print and pink "Fireman's Wife" case. She takes the phone from him.

"Thanks Babe, This is Jason Holmby he's in cardio we went to med school together than did part of residency together. Jason this is my husband Kelly."

The guy offers his hand and smiles Kelly's not buying but he's pretty in the polished up way that he knows Liv's been known to like. Upon closer inspection he knows how the man wins women over he has one blue eye and one green. He shakes the guys hand with a healthy dose of distrust.

"Grayne you gonna meet me in the cath lab?" he asks.

"It's Severide." Kelly corrects. Liv scowls up at him.

"Can't, I'm helping Planter run the ER today. Take care of the girl but keep me updated." She replied glancing at him.

"You got it. She'll always be Grayne to me." Holmby said and walked off.

She wheels as close to Kelly as the chair will allow. "You didn't have to do that you know?" She set the chair to stand position.

"Do what?" he feigns innocence.

She deepens her voice as she fixes his jacket collar. "It's Severide. "She smiles at him. "Everyone here knows I'm married I wear my rings on lunch break just so I can say I've worn them every day of our marriage." She pulls him into a hug and lays her head on his chest. "Jase is harmless all talk and tall tales. I'm so tired." She yawns.

"Someone shouldn't have stayed up so late organizing the entertainment center." He laughed kissing the top of her head. Tiny flecks of paint still hang on to her fiery hair.

Her pager goes off. "Nooooo." She whines.

"Ya gotta go babe."

She gives him her best puppy dog eyes. "But you're my squishy and I love you."

"Do what? Are you calling me fat?" his brows scrunch as she laughs.

"Finding Nemo was on in the waiting room." She answers sitting down.

"Wait what's a squishy?" he asks.

"Watch the movie! It's on Netflix." She answers tugging her ponytail tighter she rolls off.

"I can't watch a kid's movie in the firehouse."

"Sure you can every dad in the place will sit down to watch. I gotta go. I love you bye." She hollers over her shoulder.

"Love you too Livvy."

-/-/-/-

He drops by Erin's precinct to get the dirt on Holmby.

"Okay Kelly, I know why you're here. You saw Holmby and you're freaked out." She stands on the stairs drinking out of a coffee cup that reads: If you think I'm crazy you should see me with my best friend."

"I'm not freaked I'm curious." He defends. "And that coffee cup is scarily truthful." He adds.

"What about?" She said plainly.

"Did they sleep together?"

Erin smirked. "No beating around the bush huh? No they didn't. Liv was intimidated by his attitude, and he was… he was pre- Olivia you times a hundred. He wants her always has but she was never interested."

"Why not I mean… I'm not stupid." He pushes.

"You can have connections with people of the opposite sex, that aren't sexual Kelly."

"Not if you're straight you can't." he said dryly.

"You can if you were the kind of prude Livvy was."

"She's not a prude." He said feeling oddly offended in her place.

"She's been with three people no wait four. I told her she needed d to have at least one, one night stand in her life time."

"Uh, I didn't need to know." He said trying to feel possessive over Liv because of a faceless hockey player

"Some hockey player for the Blackhawks. It doesn't matter, he's not her type neither is Holmby. You're not at all who I pictured her with but she loves you, like she loves me minus the sex. You got nothing to worry about with Holmby he's a work buddy." Erin reassured patting his shoulder awkwardly.

"Who'd you picture her with?"

"Carver minus the self-entitled ego." She said honestly sipping again.

"One last thing." He cocks his head and squints.

"Yes man of many inappropriate questions?"

"What's a squishy?"

"Fuck if I know. We done?" she asked eyebrows raised.

"Yeah."

"Tell her to call me. Bye McFireballs." She turns to leave.

"Bye Erin."

"Fucking Grey's Anatomy that's what I get for marrying a doctor. I married the actual April Kepner!" he mutters to himself.

She turns back to him as he sprints down the stairs. "Wait she forces you to watch too?"

"You stole my little spoon for your Criminal Minds marathon so unless you want your whole precinct to know you need a cuddle buddy for a serial killer show. You won't mention my minor Grey's viewing." He threatens.

"Little Spoon. That's cute." She replies with a glint in her eye.

"I'm leaving." He spits out frustrated with her.

"You do that!"

"Why's she friends with you?" he mutters to himself.

"Why'd she marry you?" She retorts.

"Do you fight because you want him or for fun." Ruziaak asks as he comes up the stairs stopping on the landing next to her.

"Ew that is so Liv's territory." Her entire face wrinkled in disgust.

"When are you gonna let me meet Liv?" he asks.

"Half past never. Go flirt up burgess." She shoves past him.

-/-/-/-

Molly's is its usual loud and raucous good time but when she rolls in, for him it all becomes white noise nothingness. She looks good. She's wearing black frame glasses a tee shirt with a design he can't make out from here, ripped up jeans. Her hairs in a funky braided up do that makes her look entirely too young. She has very little make up on. He loves her like this, nerdy chic confident in herself comfortable in her skin.

"I married a nerd." He said mostly to himself. "And that's totally okay."

"Because she's a hot nerd?" Otis asks and he realizes he's spoken aloud.

"Dude, you're lucky you got a shot with Katie. Shut up." He warns.

"Why are there giant purple cartoon seashells on your boobs Babe?" he said referring to the design he can now see clearly "They aren't' giant!" she gripes.

"Baby, you may as well have a neon sign on your chest that says "Stare Kelly" they're giant." He confirms.

"A patient gave me this shirt because she said I looked like Ariel."

"Oh Seashell Bra that I can dig." Kelly grins at her and despite herself she laughs.

"If the doctor thing falls through you can work at Disneyland." Otis adds.

"Thank Otis."

Kelly pulls her close and leans down to kiss her. When she yanks his shirt to get him closer he almost falls off the stool and is forced to stand.

Miss me?" he asked laughing.

"Um hm. She makes the chair stand. She pulls him back in

'Well good, the feelings mutual." He cups her face in his hands and kisses her back deeply. The people around them are totally unfazed by them at this point. "How was…" his brain almost melts when her lips find one specific spot on his body where his neck meets his jaw. "You're not playing fair Livvy." He swallows thickly.

"Who said I was playing?" she laughs softly near his ear.

He draws a breath before answering her. Livvy, I will drag you into the bathroom and make you put your money where your big word using mouth is."

"Do you see me making any objection to that plan?" she backs away peering up at him. Desire barely banked in her pretty green eyes.

"Christ I swear!" he kissed her again making his intention blatantly clear. "You, me, and the closest flat surface I can find." He promises." Later, now how was your day? I like the nerd glasses and the Heidi up do." He continues.

"You turned me down, that's never happened before." She pouts.

"It's a painful experience trust me. Prude my ass."He murmurs the last part.

"Huh?" She asked confused.

"Nothing baby how was your baby sitting day?"

"Grady threw a decorative marble ball at me in one of his fits and hit me in the shoulder. I have a huge bruise and Tess thought it'd be funny to replace my contact solution with olive oil hence the glasses."

"So today you're of the opinion we should hold off on the baby train?" he asks smirking as he steps around to peer beneath the collar of her shirt where a deep purplish black bruise blooms like an Raorosach ink blot across the pale curve of her shoulder. "Oh my God, Liv!"

She shrugs. "He didn't mean it; sometimes he can't control his emotional response to stressors. It's not his fault honey it's the autism."

He tips her face up so he can catch her eye. "I know that. I love Grady, but he can't throw things at you he can't. One day he'll be too big for you or Vivi, Rainey, and your mother to control." He said in concern

"That day is fast approaching. I don't want to change his medications I want him to learn to moderate his emotions and the autism himself. I'm trying to help him get there Kell. Today? It was just a bump in Grady's long, long road." She said speaking as a doctor and a sister.

"About that baby train? You'll be an incredible mother one day." He kissed the top her head. "I missed you today." He joined their hands. "It was much too quiet."

"I invited some people from work tonight I hope you don't mind; last shift was hell mass food poisoning on a school field trip. Then an appendix rupture and a kid with worms."

"Worms?' he asked surprised.

"Don't ask."

"And that was just the first three hours. Grayne, Grayne's husband." Holmby said wandering over.

Kelly hadn't noticed the guy walking up he'd been too enamored by Liv. "Holmby." Kelly greets halfheartedly.

"Quarters?" Holmby asks Liv.

"Once the others get here sure. You need an audience for your ass kickin' you'll get! In the meantime mill about it's a friendly place."

"You aren't gonna introduce me?" he said seemingly offended and Kelly hides his smile in the crook of Liv's neck.

"Nope, be the social butterfly that you are I'm going to finish Kelly's beer and eat his sweet potato fries then I'll be there."

She picks up his beer. "You aren't serious?" Kelly gripes.

"Why should we pay for two when we can share?"

"My food too?" he said incredulously.

She popped a fry in her mouth. "I never kid about food. Ever. I love it almost more than you. You win by like a smidge."

"Gee Thanks." He said dryly/

"You know I love you. Even more in your bunker gear. "She tilts her head back at him smilingly pecks him on the lips.

A group of women come in. "Girls! Over here!' Liv shouts over the din of noise and music.

A group of five women and two men come in behind them.

They come over. "Kelly, this is Jill, Shari, Jodi, Faith, and Arianne, Jill's husband Andrew. The lurky one back there is Sarah's boyfriend Hudson. Everyone this is Kelly.

"The infamous Kelly. We finally meet." A pretty brunette with big brown eyes steps forward. Before Liv he'd of picked her up. Now, she barely hits his radar.

Be careful of Shari Kell she's fresh outta vampire school. She minored in phlebotomy and majored in man snaring."

"That's not fair." Shari Snipwa

Liv smirks. "Oh yeah… Holmby's here?" the girls eyes glitter.

"Why?" A brunette Kelly thought was named Jodi asked. Dry disgust obvious in her tone.

"He overheard us because Liv has no inside voice." A fresh faced blonde answers.

"I resent that Sare… I'm just used to having to make myself heard. Liv interjects.

"Where is he?"

"Flirting with my best friend's girlfriend. He's going to have even less luck than he's having with my wife." Kelly answered stifling a laugh.

"Think he knows Viv's my sister and a lesbian?"

"He's about too. Incoming." Kelly whispered as Shay walks by and then over to Viv where there's an almost obscene kiss.

"Well it either turned him off or on." Sarah murmurs.

Liv scoffed. "Ugh god, let's go get a table. You can come sit with us if you want babe."

"Uh, no that's alright. You go do your doctor talk thing that's confusing yet attractive. I'll stay here with Hermann."

"Will order me a braut and a beer?"

"Uh huh." He said distracted by Holmby staring at Livvy.

"You need an electric standy chair." One of her friends says as she sits down.

"No she doesn't don't give her ideas. You don't live with Little Miss I'll Do It Myself I do." He jokes.

"You're just afraid you can't keep up with me."

"Umm, maybe." He admits kissing her cheek.

-/-

Sometime later Kelly looks over to find her and a few others playing quarters, she laughs as she sinks a quarter into the shot glass. "Fourth in a row. Beat that Bitches!" she raises her arms in victory and does a little dance in her chair. That Holmby guy hasn't taken his eyes off her since they sat down. If it was just an appreciative glance he could have let it go, because honestly she's gorgeous a guy's gonna look. Hell Kelly had been watching her himself for his own enjoyment but this guy's poker face is shit he can tell exactly what the man wants.

"It's annoying but you can't fault the guy for looking buddy." Hermann said sitting his beer in front of him.

"Am I that obvious?"

"Nah, you're newly married if you weren't possessive I'd be worried for you." Herrmann leaned on the bar.

"Guys pushing it. See how he keeps reaching around her to grab stuff. He's finding ways to touch her and she's just letting him."

"That was slight. She doesn't realize he's doing it. You're looking for stuff Severide." Gabi said walking up.

Then the guy puts his hand on her leg where Liv has no sensation. "Fucking hell no." he growls out.

"Kelly…" Gabi tries to stop him from making a scene,

"No Dawson he is taking advantage of her circumstances. That is not okay." There's nothing she can say in defense of that. She lets him go.

He makes his way over in three long strides. "You have exactly five very short seconds to remove your hand from my wife's lap. If you don't I will and I'll break every bone in your fucking hand. I'll name then while I do it. Marry a doctor and you pick shit up." Kelly said eyes dark with anger.

"Kelly no one's touching me." Liv said in complete cluelessness.

"That's the point Liv; he touched where he knows you've no sensation. Five…" Kelly said never taking his off the guy.

Liv looks somewhere between disgusted and hurt. She rolls back into Kelly and the guys hand falls away.

"Get out." Liv said stonily.

"Liv it wasn't even like that we're friends." He sputters.

"Do I need to explain good touch bad touch to you Jason?" she spits back lividly.

Holmby sits there dumbfounded at having been caught. Kelly reaches around Liv he grabs the back of Holmby's preppy polo collar and one handedly jerks the man out of his seat and dumps him to the floor. That's when his squad rushes over to hold him off Holmby. "My lady said leave. You'd best do it before they let me go." He warns coldly.

The guy scurries out the door and Kelly angry with the whole situation slams out the side door into the night air.

Kelly doesn't have to see her to know she's there. "Liv I'm not mad at you babe." He said without looking back at her. He can't look at her now because if does he's going to go track the guy down and kill him for putting hurt in her eyes.

"It feels like you are." She said plainly.

"I'm not, I'm mad that the asshole thought it was okay to touch you like he had the right to do as he pleased with my wife! That's not even mentioning the fact that he stared at you all night like a lecher.

"Sometimes people let their work environments change their boundaries, if I somehow precipitated that with my actions it wasn't my intention." She said trying to take responsibility for the whole thing.

Now he has to look back at her because this isn't on her. He sighs deeply. "Honey I saw your face that was neither an invited or expected thing. We're fine okay." He looks over at her sitting in the doorway with her arms crossed over her knees. She looks up at him waiting.

She nods. "I'm just going to let you be for a bit."

He tilts his head at her. "He touches you again; I will show no restraint whatsoever."

"I know."

A few minutes later Matt walks out to join him.

"You okay?"

"No, turns out I don't much like it when other men show any interest in Liv. I was curious at first then jealous then just plain pissed. She oblivious to all of it." He smiles in utter wonder.

"There's a reason for that. The second you walk into a room? She sees nothing but you. You can't see it because you're in the middle of it but you're the axis her whole world turns on. She thought that guy was a friend, Hallie called hers a "Work Husband," because after about the third seven syllable word she'd lose me. She needs someone on her level that does the same thing. We have a whole house of people she doesn't."

"That's true I usually zone out and stare at her mouth while having dirty thoughts." He agrees laughing to himself.

"Look no one will ever care about you or love you as much as she does remember that next time you get jealous and for the love of God deck the perv the next time you see him." Matt counsels.

-/-/-/-

"Viv! I've got it handled. No you cannot call Erin and have him arrested! Because he touched my knee it's not a crime." They hear liv shout from inside seconds later She appears back in the door way. "Can we go home? My nights officially ruined."

"Yeah babe, we'll salvage it."

Salvaging the night means painting their bedroom and eating the Jell-O pudding cups meant for her siblings.

"Hey Livvy! I was thinking does the Elevator count as a room?" he glances over at her carefully painting the wall mint green.

"Uh I don't know why?"

"We haven't done it there yet. In fact never have I ever loved it up while going down if you know what I'm sayin.'" He wiggles his eyebrows laughing when she blushes.

"Kelly Severide!" she slung her paint brush and the mint green hit the nape of his neck and dripped down.

"Oh it's on now roll your little butt away fast woman!" she rolls away but he still caught up to her sliding the roller down her neck and over her arm. "Arghhhhhh, it feels weird stop," she dabs her brush over the gray spot at the front of his hairline. "There now it's colored you can't whine about it now!" she teases.

They sling paint all over each other for the better part of an hour.

Later they post a picture to Liv's Instagram. They're covered head to foot in green paint. "Paint war, we aren't sure who won but the walls definitely lost."

Afterward they shower together in an attempt to remove the paint only to end up having sex mostly still covered in paint. It turns out that flat surface he promised her was the glass shower wall.

"Did you plan that?" he asks. After all, she had started the paint war,

"What running out of hot water? "She retorts smartly while dressing.

"No, seducing me." Kelly asked smiling towel drying his hair and watching Liv's flat stomach disappear beneath the t-shirt she's putting on.

"As if I'd have to seduce you."

"You make a good point." He walks over and shoves her to lie back on the bed.

"Again?" she said only half surprised.

"You had something better in mind?" he kisses her slowly as he climbed on top of her.

"Not really, I was going to catch up on The Following but…"

He stops peering down at her. "You waited on me that's sweet."

"No, its scares me a little I didn't want to watch alone. I could really care less if you're caught up." She said honestly as she leaned up to kiss down his chin and over his Adam's apple.

"Well now, you're just mean! I'm no longer your squishy."

She laughs against his skin. "Still don't know what is huh?"

" . Let's watch. Where'd we leave off?" he asked. He loved doing little things with her even if it is just watching TV.

"Joe taking over the cult. You need pants without them something will happen I know us." She said pointing to his towel wrapped waist.

"I should be ashamed I'm so slutty but nope nada zilch. "He turns to his dresser fishing out grey boxers.

"What happens when you get old and it no longer works Kell?" she asks getting settled in bed.

He glances at her pulling the boxers on. "I'll cry, and then buy Viagra."

She laughs. "What's sad is that I know you're dead serious."

"Kind of a shame we only got one wall done." He nods to the lone green wall.

She shrugs. "That's why Viv helps she's goal oriented you're sexual reward oriented."

"You make me sound like some caveman." He complains.

"Kelly no make fire, Kelly put out fire. "She teased and he laughed.

-/-/-/-

After their TV marathon he finds Liv sleeping on his shoulder. He takes the glasses from her face and he slides his body away from her and tucks her under the covers before going to lock up for the night. He walked around the house in the silence and darkness.

He stops in the kitchen for a glass of water. He drinks it over the sink letting his mind wander. Kelly has never liked the quiet mostly because he'd never lived with it. His parents had always been noisy fighter. 51 was almost constantly in motion and Shay wouldn't know quiet time if it bit her butt. He wants there to be noise and chaos in this house. He wants it not to be of their extended family but of the one they make with the people they claim or create as their own.

The revelation that he wants children should be startling but it's not its exciting and oddly comforting.

When he returns to bed Liv's looking at him with sleepy eyes, hair spilling across her pillow, and a soft smile. "You shouldn't leave me alone when we watch scary stuff I dreamed it was the zombie apocalypse and Joe Carroll tried to eat my face." She said as he climbs in bed.

He turns off his bedside lamp. Plunging the room into darkness. Bummer I like your face." He teases.

"Ass!" she retorts.

"I love you." He replies rolling over to kiss her. "Goodnight baby, sleep well."

"Night Kell. Love you." She returned holding his handing in hers.

AN: Thank you for reading. Please do review if it strikes your fancy. I own nada but my plot ideas, and characters.


	14. Chapter 14

I own nothing but Liv her family and any future progeny she can Kelly may have. There will be no Lindsay/Severide relationship in this fic. Please be respectful of that choice please do not send LIndseride Shipper hate mail. I'd like to say thank you for all of the follows, favorites, and reviews I have received. There's one little scene from CPD referenced and slightly rewritten in here. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!-Meg

 

Kelly wakes too noise. "Baby turn down the TV please." The sound persists. "Livvy!" his eyes pop open to see a giant metal rectangle hanging above his head. It takes a second to clear; her feet and purple painted toes hang in his eye line. "Olivia Severide!" he hollers.

"Hi baby!" she leans forward and peers down hair falling around her face. She smiles at him brightly and it irks him.

"Really, Hi baby! Really that's all I get when I find you hanging above my head first thing in the morning?" he almost shouts scrubbing his hands down his face.

"Uh…I couldn't find a sex swing on such short notice?" She tries again.

He can't even stay mad because that was funny. He laughs. "That was a quick one Babe. Nice."

"What are you doing up there? You know I feel about the orange death trap."

"See when you call it something like that you send out the wrong vibe. I named it Bob. Nice harmless Bob."

"Yeah well I don't like Bob. He clashes with your hair." He puts a pillow over his face.

"Chill McFireballs I'm right here. Took a pee break." Erin said exiting their bathroom.

"That wasn't the TV. Damn it." He grumbles.

"I'm going down stairs." He grabs his pillow and yanks the covers off. He walks down stairs.

Erin glanced over at Kelly's bare butt. "Nice tush, Severide!"

"Cover up Kell!" Liv shouts turning back to him.

"You're too bossy. I need coffee." He complained yawning.

"Bring me a cup since you forgot to kiss me good morning"

"I love you. Get it yourself." He deadpanned.

"Fine be that way!"

About an hour later.

Kelly comes back up the stairs wrapped in the comforter. "Making breakfast naked is painful."

Liv chuckles mostly to herself as he grabs his clothes and disappears into the bathroom. He comes out dressed in lounge pants and tank top. He climbs up to stand on the mattress. He stands there silently for second looking at her expectantly. "Yes Honey? Oh…okay." She said finally figuring it out. She kissed him softly very nearly chastely.

"Uh, uh," he pulls her toward him a little by putting a hand on the back of her neck. He kisses her long and slow.

"Damn…I hate you both." Erin murmurs and Liv knows it must look as hot as it feels. He nips her bottom lip as they part.

"Good morning, I'll bring up breakfast for you guys. How do you like your eggs Erin?"

"Scrambled like Liv's brain right now." Erin teased.

"Ok so its official I'm jealous of your love life now." She said with a glint her eye.

Liv replies as she paints the trim white. "You mean the first time ever. I could always set you up until you and Halstead finally crack."

"Whatever."

"Hear that? That's the sound of your resolve slowly crumbling to dust. Liv grins shoulder bumping her.

"Wait, you get kissed like that every morning?"

"Depends on his mood and time but yeah…" Liv said in a self-satisfied manner Erin wasn't used too.

"If I wasn't here you'd have sex right?"

"Yup." She said honestly.

"I hate you."

"Get to paintin' bitch."

"I will push you." Erin threatened dryly.

"Kelly will kill you." Liv retorted.

They hear The Hippy, Hippy, Shake blare out of the kitchen speakers loudly followed by a startled scream from Kelly. They burst out laughing helplessly leaning into each other. "Good thing I already peed. That was funny." Erin said catching her breath,

"Olivia!" He shouts up,

"Sorry Tess did that!"

"He girly screamed, you need to pay Tess."

"I know she's evil and I love her." The women shared conspiratorial smile.

-/-/-/-

"Whatcha doin' for bio mom's birthday this year?" Erin asks as Kelly walks up the stairs he doesn't mean to eavesdrop. He's not actively trying it just happens.

"Same…polaroid picture and flowers." She answers then clears her throat.

"Gonna take Kelly with you?"

"He won't get it. No one does." He can picture her shaking her head as he mounts the final stairs.

"That's not the point Livvy."

"I don't have to understand it to be there for you." Kelly said walking in. "But you could always try telling me." He extends the tray he's carrying. "Breakfast. Come down please."

She pulls the lever to mechanically lower them to the floor. He sits the tray on the rumpled bed and then picks Liv up and sits her in the wheelchair.

"Husbands are handy if I believed in monogamy I might get one." Erin said. She grabbed up a plate sitting on the floor.

"I lift heavy shit, change light bulbs, take out trash, kill critters, grill things, and provide sexual service though only to Livvy." He sits in the floor next to her as he clarified the last part of the sentence by nodding at Liv.

"You forgot nightly safety sweeps."

-/-/-/-/-

Liv sits in her chair with Kelly on the floor to her left and Erin in the floor to her right. "Tell about your mom." Kelly pushes biting into his eggs.

She nibbled her toast eyes narrowing in thought. "She was crazy as hell but she loved me. She smelled like White Diamonds and menthols. She was pretty once before her life got hard. I worry that I inherited her crazy and just don't know it yet. She always called me Olivia she never shortened ever. She was taking me to get ice cream the night of the accident. At least that's what she told me" She swallowed thickly. I was playing with a little pony toy when the car hit us. I remember looking up seeing the headlights of the oncoming car and not being afraid because she looked so happy." Tears misted her eyes until she shook her head to clear the memory and they were gone.

"Damn…Ok so your Mom was crazy but you loved her what's wrong with that?" Kelly asked.

"Nothing I guess unless you're my parents. I think they feel betrayed because I do something for someone who didn't put me first. My mom sees the grave of the woman who put me in this chair. My father sees who I could have been every time I lay flowers on that grave. That I might even be in the ground next to her." Erin squeezes her hand briefly then let's go.

"Liv, you aren't crazy you aged out of the diagnostic period without any symptoms." Erin said.

"I know that I'm a doctor but it doesn't make the fear go away." She smiled cryptically.

"I researched okay. I got scared when she started dating Carver." Erin defends when Kelly shot her a dirty look.

"Why?" Liv asked with a laugh,

"Because I thought you were dating him to keep you sane."

"And Kelly was for in the event I became a pyro right? She retorted jokingly.

Erin gestured between Kelly and liv. "I'm still not sure how this happened other than you've always attracted the skirt chasers. I think they like the idea of a challenge."

"Speaking of challenges, I can't believe you guys got three walls done." Kelly commented.

"We make a kick ass team." Liv said high fiving Erin.

"And we have been at since six. You sleep like the dead." Erin stated.

"Yeah well when you sleep attuned to the fire tone; you become condition to sleep hard when you can."

"Aren't you tired Livvy?" Kelly asked.

"Used to work 36's remember. I am and shall forever be queen of coffee and cat napery." She said proudly.

-/-/-/-/-

While they waited for the paint to dry Erin heads in to work Liv and Kelly go to see Divergent.

"Well that's two hours of my life I'll never get back." Kelly griped. He unlocked the door and walked in.

"It wasn't that bad!" she wheels inside as he tosses the keys in the bowl beside their door. He glances back at her in jeans a "Molly's Pub" shirt and his leather jacket. Her aviators are pushed on her head as a makeshift headband.

"Easy for you to say you like those post-apocalyptic bullshit love stories." He points out.

"I should have taken Rain."

He shrugs. "But then I'd lose my brownie points for setting through it."

"This is true. Whatcha wanna do now?"

"Truth? Take a nap or have sex." He said straight face and Liv laughed.

"Do ya one better, sex then a nap." She wiggled her eyebrows grinning.

"I knew there was a reason I married you." He picks her up and tosses her over his shoulder.

"Are you serious right now? We have an elevator Kelly."

"I'm a firefighter I can handle three flights of stairs."

"You know looking at this carpet we need stair runners or we'll be vacuuming all the time." She said quietly thinking aloud.

"Livvy my baby…"

"Yep."

"Hush."

He pinches her on the rear. "I can feel that a little you know?" She retorts pinching him back.

-/-/-/-

They lay tangled together with Tyrone Wells playing in the background, from Liv's IPod Dock. "You're not sleeping you're thinking Livvy I can feel it." Kelly said not opening his eyes.

"I'm just trying to figure how I want things arranged and hung up. I think we should move the-"

"Livvy Honey…shut up." He mumbles into her flowery scented hair.

"Will you tickle my back I can't unwind?" She curls around him tighter.

He runs his nails lazily up and down her bare back. "Then I'm doing it wrong baby. "He said referring to the sex they'd just had.

"Nah, Erin put monster in my coffee."

"What'd I do to deserve that?"

"We were painting."

"You can't run it off you'll get the shakes in a bit." He yawns.

"Or the trots as you so eloquently put it."

He laughs. "Those too."

"What is it with you and poop jokes?" she kisses him.

"I enjoy low brow humor. We're staying up aren't we? What do you want to move where?" he opens his eyes to look at her beaming at him.

"Hey keep tickling!"

"Yes'm."

-/-/-/-

Liv's kissing Kelly goodbye for the day when the person behind them honks. She jumps and Kelly laughs.

"Bye Doc Livvy have fun saving lives. I love you."he gets out of the truck slamming the door.

"Love you more. Be careful." She glances in mirror. Vivi grins at her. She flips Viv the bird.

"Nope not possible, be careful to please." He blows her a quick kiss before the guys notice. "See ya later baby. I'll call you!"

"Sister!" Vivi pulls up next to her.

Liv rolls down her window. "Yes sister dear." Liv peers at Vivi over her shades.

"Lunch at Bergstein's Deli you in?"

"Yeah."

"That sister dear was sarcastic not sincere don't think I don't know."

"Well don't honk at me when I'm kissing my husband good bye hoe bag!"

"Twat face."

"I'm telling Mama you used that word!" Liv threatens childishly.

"Should we break it up?" Shay asked walking up beside Kelly.

"You kidding me, my thirty year old wife just threatened to tattle to her mom. Best entertainment I've had all week." He said laughing as the girls rev up.

"They must have been a riot growing up. I saw that by the way, blowing her a kiss?"

"If you tattle I'll cut your bangs in your sleep again!"

Kelly shrugs. "I love her a lot."

"Hey no touching anything I like!" he warned Vivi.

"Something tells me we're lucky they survived to adulthood." He commented to Shay who nodded in agreement.

-/-/-/-

The girls are done fighting and are eating lunch when Kelly calls.

"Hi babe… really…you found what in a trunk? Like a full torso or…" Liv asked still eating as Vivi set aside her sandwich looking a little green. "Is it bad I'm glad it was Mills who got socked and not you? Because, you're pretty."

"He found what?" Vivi scowled while inspecting her manicure.

"A dismembered torso. Ok I'll go with you after work.. Think Erin will let me see it? Yeah I know I'm a twisted girl but you love me." She grins evilly picking up her dessert.

-/-/-/-/-

"He's not a serial killer baby." Erin watches smiling as Kelly pulls Liv up the precinct stairs into the reception area.

"The guy was carting around chunks-o-human. That's some mob type shit." She points back toward Kelly making Erin snicker.

"Hey Platt." She said as Kelly rolls her to the desk.

"Livvy Talks A lot how ya rolling' these days?"

"On a standy chair." Erin answers. "Hey Liv Lou. Come to protect your man? "Erin hugged her from behind.

"Nope. I wanna see it." She leered.

"You know I can't satisfy your morbid curiosities Kitten." Voight said coming over. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "You're a ball and chain now huh?" He nods toward Kelly.

"I prefer honest woman." She retorts.

"Kelly we just need you to ID him and you can go. Thanks for doing this. Voight says.

"Here sip." Liv waves her Starbucks under Erin's nose. "You look tired Mocha Latte."

"I'm going to get Mono. You kiss him on the daily." She points to Kelly but still sips holding out her phone and they smile snapping a selfie.

"Really girls? Voight said shaking his head.

"What its woman crush Wednesday." Erin replies.

"I'm not even dignifying that with a response."

"This way Kelly. Be back Liv Lou." Erin directs him to the ID Room.

"Kay."

-/-/-/-/-

"That's not him. Why's his neck all red?" He said looking through the two way glass,

"Complicated capture. You're sure?"

Kelly nods. "Yeah positive."

"Can you come and look at some mug shots?"

"Sure, can you help me figure out Liv's wedding present?" he asks while he has a moment away from Livvy.

"You still haven't done that? You've been married a month!" she glances back at him as she's heading for the door.

"She's hard to shop for!"

"She's Liv!" She replied as though he was utterly stupid.

"What does that even mean?"

"You got a mural! I won't even mention the comments you made beforehand. Yes, I'm still mad that you made her cry! Give something thoughtful and personal. "She rails at him hands flying as she talks and he's a little frightened.

He looks at her blankly. "Ok what's your favorite thing about Liv?""

"Her optimism and compassion. She makes me better as cheesy as that sounds."

Erin nods in approval. "Real love does that for ya."

"That's not an answer Lindsay!" he retorted exasperated.

"She's your wife not mine." She points out.

"You're her best friend." He returns.

"Ok, why do you love her?" Erin tries a different tact.

"I just do. I always have. I think in varying degrees since the day I met her." The sincerity in the answer surprises her a bit though it shouldn't. They had the true once in a lifetime love others wished they had. They just jumped in and went for it. Erin envied that she was a carless woman's daughter and it always made her leery and overly cautious.

"Look make the gift something from your heart. It doesn't matter what it is big or small expensive or cheap Liv doesn't give shit. What she does care about? Is knowing every time she sees it that you love her epically and forever that's who she is. If you give her a gift like that? One that you don't care what anyone thinks because it's soft and romantic and really not you? That's how you win because she knows all of you, she'll know if you're just low balling it." Erin advised.

"Gee thanks for making it sound so easy!" he sniped sarcastically.

-/-/-/-

They walkout into the bull pen where Liv sits talking to someone Kelly recognizes but can't place. Liv smiles at the guy tossing what looks like a grenade up in the air. "Who's the Howdy Doody guy chatting up my wife?" Kelly asked.

"Ruziek, he's harmless. Liv would break him."

"Please tell me that grenade is fake." He said apprehensively watching her deftly toss it up with quick steady hands.

"It's a de-armed dud." She said dryly.

"O!" Erin shouts.

"Hey bitch what up? He find your perp so I can go home?" she pitches the grenade like a fastball Erin catches it bare handed.

"Okay that was…." Jay trailed off seeing the steel look Kelly gives him. The "Hot." Goes unspoken.

"We like baseball." Erin said smilingly.

"Nah I like the uniforms, learned to throw because guys think it's hot." Liv replied.

Kelly grins he can't help it. "You're really honest when could lead to bad things. "Kelly added in shaking his head.

"You recognize anyone on that board Kelly?" Voight asked pointing to a large cork board filled printed out mug shots.

"That one. Definitely." He points to a menacing looking bald white man.

"Jacob Sims leader of the Northside drug and white supremacy gang." Voight said. Liv swats Kelly's arm.

"What? "He said in surprise rubbing his arm.

"Could you stop getting in scrapes with the dredges of Chicago please? I need a break."

-/-/-/-

The idea for her wedding present comes to him as she's falling asleep on his shoulder. He wakes before her purposefully and slips out. When he returns she's in the kitchen making dinner and eating a late lunch wearing nothing but his "Real Men Marry Doctors." Tee shirt.

"Hey Babe." She leans forward to kiss him. Sandwich in hand.

He peers at the food suspiciously. "Are you eating tuna fish sandwiches and Doritos?"

"Extra onion." She nods.

"For the first time in the history of ever I don't want to kiss you." He teased.

She rolls her eyes. "You're a butt face. I made extra chicken enchiladas for you to take to work all Jones will need to do is reheat it."

He sits a lilac gift bag on the island. "That's yours." He points.

"Ooh presents." She stops what she's doing to pick up the bag.

"Figured I needed to buy your wedding present." He watches her open it. He watches confusion color her face when she pulled out the necklace with a tiny framed sound wave pendant. "I remembered seeing that you could print out sound waves. So I recorded myself saying, "I love you." Had it put in a little frame so you can wear it always knowing you have the words I had such a hard time saying the first time. That way you will always have my last words to you, with you should something happen to me."

Her eyes went misty. "Kelly… Thank you."

"The back is engraved. "Don't cry."

"I don't like thinking of the things that could happen to you." She sniffs back her tears.

"So don't Baby." He said coming around to help her put it on. She flipped it over and read the inscription. Livvy, I love you, I'll never stop.-Kelly below it is their wedding date.

"Do you like it?" She nods unable to form words for a second.

"I love it!" he clasped the necklace for her.

"Good I'm glad." She tilts her head back. "I love you and all but seriously I'm not kissing you until brush your teeth."

"It's just tuna."

"That's gross."

She shrugs. "Your loss Severide."

-/-/-/-

Kelly invites the guys over for poker night. When he hears scraping on the ground floor even over AC/DC blaring through the house. He starts to worry. "Liv Honey!"

"Moving the settee, I got on sale be right up." She quickly texts her Mom. "I really am married. It's Kelly's poker night." Her phone chimes. "LOL! Yes, you are baby. Daddy said own those smoke eaters."

"What in fuck's a settee?" he asks the guys.

"It's a fancy couch you won't be allowed to sit on." Mouch answered.

"I'll do it you're gonna hurt yourself." He shouts down getting up.

"I need you to go get your poker food outta the truck." She shoves the couch it doesn't move an inch and she groans.

"You bought groceries and a couch in one trip?" Kelly asked from the bottom step giving her a bemused smile.

"Yup I am amazing! Help me!"

They abandon their game and they all troop down the stairs.

-/-/-/-

"I love it! I have my personal moving company."

"Hold my cigar don't smoke it. It's expensive." Kelly said handing it to her and moving her out of the way and yanking the couch in.

"Keys?" Cruz said.

She tosses him the keys. "Smoke it if I want." She took a puff and smirked at Kelly.

"You're Lucky I love you. How'd you get this outta the truck?" he grunts as he and Herrmann pick up the heavy French high backed couch.

"Buff kid down the street batted my lashes talked real sweet and boom."

"Don't flirt with him he looks like a little hood rat." Matt advised glancing outside.

"Were you a hood rat Matty?"

He smiled at her. "What'd I say?"

"Matty that's very sisterly. I'm about as hood rat as you are Livvy." He retorted.

"Something tells me she's a bit more hood rat than you Matt." Kelly smiled at her as he and Hermann settle the couch into a corner, "She's friends with Erin and Voight calls her Kitten the amount of fear it strikes into my heart alone gives her more street cred than you."

"No, not in the corner babe. By the window for the light." Kelly sighed but did her bidding. "Sorry Kell."

He shook his head. "Shoulda seen it coming."

"Why's Matt glaring at me like I have two heads?" she asked.

"He didn't know Voight was your second Dad." Kelly answers.

"I wouldn't go that far but yes, he is pretty much Erin's Dad. I grew up around him I see sides of him you guys won't."

"I've been meaning to ask how was your Golden Oldies date Mouchy?" Liv changed the subject.

"It went well. At least someone thought to ask!"

"In case it escapes you Mouch we're not gossipy women." Cruz said with an arm load of groceries and take out Otis brings in another load behind him.

"I can never sit on this fancy couch can I?" Kelly said leaning on the handle bars of Liv's chair.

"It white Kelly Benjamin what do you think? It's for looks baby." She tilted her head back looking up at him.

He kissed her. "You bought a couch for looks you confuse me." He said against her mouth.

"Welcome to marital bliss buddy." Hermann said.

-/-/-/-

When they all head back upstairs Liv offers her hand to Kelly to pull him into the elevator with her. "Shoulda taken your advice after all." Matt muttered.

"We're not having sex." Liv retorted.

"Let's be real, if I really wanted too I could sweet talk you into it."

"Just get in the damn elevator Severide." She pushes the up button when he steps on. Between floors she pushes the stop button. "Don't go getting any bright ideas baby I just wanted to have a private conversation."

"Damn…"

"Sorry, did you get Bloom to go in for treatment?"

He leans on the wall arms crossed. "Barely…had I thought for a second I miss read things." Kryptonite by three doors down cuts off his train of thought.

"Owen thought I needed cool Elevator music he wired the system to play my IPod through the elevator sound system.

She continued. "I'm glad you got him help and the doctor in me is supposed to tell you that getting him there is the most important part because it's the first step but as your wife, I need to remind you that no matter how many times you put your hand out and your heart on the line it's up to him to get well. It's on him, not you babe. I love you very much but ya gotta know when to cut your losses if you need to Okay?"

"And when's that?" He cocked his head in question.

"When the addiction makes him force the consequence off on to you."

"That's cynical baby." He inched closer to her.

"Yeah but it's the truth."

"Can't argue that." He leaned down and kissed her tasting of cigar smoke and beer. He takes the kiss deeper. She sighs softly.

"Come on man, she'll still be here when we leave!" Cruz shouts. He breaks the kiss and pulls the elevator stop button back into mobile mode. "Jealous Much?" he asks then adds to Liv. "I don't like people."

"Very." Cruz retorts.

Liv laughs. "Don't drop ash on the carpet please Honey." The elevator stops and the door slides open and she exits going to the kitchen to unpack groceries and sit take out Chinese on plates.

"Its ready boys." She shouts watching them descend like hungry vultures it's quite frightening she snatches up her fried rice before someone can take off her hand. Kelly kissed her cheek. "Thanks Baby."

"Welcome." She fishes a spoon out of the silverware drawer.

Sometime later she's upstairs cleaning the bathroom singing along lowly with her IPod. She feels something cold and wet glide down her back. She squeals as Kelly stands there grinning. "Ice." He states the obvious.

"Are you five?" She reprimands.

"Thirty two." He corrects gulping his beer.

"Get it out and go!" She demands.

"Gotta take a leak. Watch my cards?"

"Anything I win is half mine. Get the ice." She whined. He fishes it out and snaps her bra. "Are you trying to die?"

"I love you."

"Kiss my crippled ass."

"Hey I went from five to junior High. Next I'll leave a hickey where your Dad can see it." She rolls off shaking her head,

Kelly comes back down to hear "How do you like me now boys? Never underestimate me. Uh, uh, pony up gents."

"How'd you do that?" Otis asked.

Kelly walks over and watches her collect her chips. "Hi Kell, I owned them. It was fun. Half mine, mama needs a new Tory Birch bag."

"I can see that." She goes to roll away. "Uh no, you're staying right here and helping me." He sat down and proceeded to help her settle into his lap. She wore jeans one of his dress shirts and knee high boots. She rolled up her sleeves and shuffled the cards of the next game.

"Texas Hold em' boys?"

"Strip poker?" Kelly whispered in her ear when she leant back. She dealt the cards.

"You'll lose but if that's your play I'm down baby." She fiddled with the end of her messy side braid as she concentrated.

He watches her play for a bit. "Is there anything you're not good Livvy? Where'd you learn this?" Kelly asked.

"Dad. I'm okay at darts too. Poker is all psychology. It helped with my human behaviors class in college."

"How? Herrmann asked,

"You all have tells, except for Bowden he's pretty stone faced. The rest of you I know when you're all lying or embellishing your stories." She threw chips into the pot.

"That's not true." Otis said.

"Is too. You're eyebrow twitches when you're nervous you do it anytime someone mentions Katie and you are in Kell's presence my money's on the fact that you automatically flash to something dirty and you fear for your life for thinking dirty thoughts about Kelly's sister when he has something deadly in easy reach." She grinned brightly knowing she was right.

"Heh, you pegged him. This is an attractive talent do someone else." Kelly said.

"You turn your wedding band on your finger with your thumb when you see a pretty girl. Your nostrils flare when you lie. Has to do with intake of air because you're afraid of being caught in a lie and yes, I know you hated the vegetarian lasagna last Tuesday."

He sits there mouth agape as the boys laugh. She turns and kisses his cheek. "Thank for you eating the lasagna anyway."

-/-/-/-

Matt and Kelly clean up the poker game and refuse to let Liv help. She sits at their kitchen table. "Matt can I be nosey?"

"Uh sure?"

"Why'd you need Kelly's advice?"

He threw away beer bottles. "Gabi and I can't find a place, it shouldn't be this hard but we're so different and I don't know…"

"Actual relationships are work Matt, You and Gab aren't all that different trust me. Kelly and I? We're different as night and day, he drives me fucking nuts but I adore him. I wouldn't trade our journey for anything in the world. You can't find a house because Gabi is a woman and we're picky bitches but it doesn't mean you aren't meant to be. It just means you haven't found your home. Don't over think it trust your instincts and you'll be fine."

"Did you trust your instincts?"

She nods. "I've never been happier."

"You adore me?" Kelly grins at her as he turns on the trash compactor.

"Shut up asshole." She said without heat.

"I love you."

"I know."

-/-/-

Kelly comes up stairs with popcorn and drinks because they're watching Finding Nemo so he'll finally know what the fuck a squishy is.

He tosses Liv her bag of cinnamon sugar drizzled kettle corn she makes no move to catch it. She has funny look on her face. "Did I miss the squishy reference?" He scowls.

"No, when you were downstairs your phone rang, I answered it. I'm sor-"

"Baby you can answer my phone. I got nothing to hide its okay." He smiles softly its sweet that she was so concerned with invading his privacy or breaking his trust.

"It was Bowden Rebecca Jones committed suicide." She said quickly like ripping off a band aid.

He stands there stock still barely breathing it scares Liv. "Are you okay?"

"What?" He said utterly confused.

"Are you okay baby? Bowden said call him if you need too, and I made him give me the number of your house chaplain "

"No, yes, I mean I'm fine are you sure about Jones?" He sputters.

"Yes, I am. Sit down Kelly, just come here." She gestures for him to come closers

He climbs into his side of the bed and she holds his hand. They remain silent watching the Nemo start menu on the DVD over and over again.

"Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming." Dory sang prophetically and that's what house 51 would have to do. Or at the very least just stay afloat.


	15. Chapter 15

Liv's brushing her teeth the next morning and watching the outline of Kelly's body behind the shower door. "Kell?"

"Yeah."

"Are you okay to work today? I mean you lost a student yesterday."

"I was a tad hard on her but I had no way of knowing that's where her head was at. Babe, I'm fine." He opens the door popping his head out. "But thank you for the concern and yes, I can feel you checking me out. You're welcome."

She almost chokes on her tooth paste when she laughs. "Cocky Bastard, I fucking love you."

Kelly laughed. "I motherfucking love you more."

-/-/-/-

Shay and Gabi go out on a distress call and the fire trucks aren't needed so he's checking his gear and equipment when a weeping girl runs up. "Can I help you?" she hands him the tiny baby nestled into the back pack she's clutching. "Make sure she's taken care of." And the girl runs off.

He stares down at the baby girl staring up at him big brown eyes blinking and she yawns. "Herrmann! Help someone handed me a baby!" he shouts and she starts to wail. "Hey now, none of that little one." He soothes the dark headed and olive skinned baby swaddled in a blanket.

The guys walk in. 'Help me!" He said as she cries harder. "You're doing fine Kelly, put her to your shoulder and bounce a little on the balls of your feet." Hermann advised. She turns her head and looks up at Kelly momentarily peaceful. "It worked! Hey little lady." There's something in the silent moment between them that clicked into place and knows just like he knew with Liv, she was his.

"I'll call social services." Bowden said.

"No, I'll take her to Livvy. If that's okay." He said in a rush.

"There's a car seat in the back of the battalion truck it used for demo but you can use it." Chief allows with a nods.

"Alright thanks sir. I wonder what your name is bug. You look Hispanic maybe its Esperanza? "Her tiny brows quirk. "No… we'll figure it out. You're a little cold. Casey can you put the seat in my car I want Liv to check her over."

-/-/-/-

"Sevvy, you're husband's here and he has someone's baby." A nurse hollers to her.

She puts down the Danish she's eating. "Don't call me Sevvy Hillman. Where is he?"

"Exam Six."

-/-/-/-

She watches him standing over the carrier leaned over making faces at a child she can't see. He sticks out his tongue. "Watch it babe, your face will freeze like that. Trust me I'm a doctor. You know if you really want a baby we can have one you didn't have to baby nap." She teases grinning.

"She's a safe haven drop." He states seriously sadness tugging at the corners of his clear blue eyes.

"Aww, okay let's have a look at the little love bug." She rolls up and takes the baby from the carrier. She's small…" she undresses her. Her umbilical stump is still intact she's no more than a week old Kelly." She shakes her head puts the ear pieces to her scope in her ear she warms the scope on her hand and listens.

"I never understood how someone can-"He rambles.

"Shh Kell, I can't hear… Damn it!" She curses with a deep frown.

"Sorry babe."

"Not you I hear a systolic murmur. Grab the closest person in scrubs for me love." She said looking up at him and then went back to checking her reflexes and neurological function which all checks out fine.

"Why?"

"I need a consult. Its fine, trust me Kelly I'll keep you updated since you found her but I gotta work." She said when he hadn't moved. "Sanders grab me an ultra sound and order an EKG. Page Holmby too for double assurance." She shouts to an intern passing by.

"Doesn't he have issues with your husband?" She said walking in and staring at Kelly with curious lust.

"Do I look like I care about the pissing contests they get in? No, Sanders I don't give a flying rat's ass just page the jerk before I lose my cool."

Kelly is still standing nervously over her. There's this odd look in his eye that she can't place but it makes her guts twist uneasily "Kelly, do you trust me to be the great doctor you always say I am?"

"Of course." He blinks seemingly boggled by the question.

"Then kiss me and go back to work, weren't you gonna check on Bloom?" She prompts trying to gently shoo his well-intentioned and very fine butt out of her exam room.

"I was but she happened." He strokes the baby's downy hair.

Liv can't help it she melts just a bit. "Your concern is sweet but I got it from here."

He stepped up and kissed her goodbye. "I love you Kelly, Be careful and I'll take care of your little other woman here." He smiles down at her before kissing her again,

"Thanks baby, you know I might just get the sound pattern of you saying "Be careful" tattooed on me. Save you some time." As he walks out the equipment she requested rolls in.

"Nope, I like saying it." She winked at him.

-/-/-/-/-

Erin sipped her water and watched her friends stab at her salad. "Erin you didn't see his face, I know him and I know that determined look he wants to keep that baby and we just got married and moved a month ago. You know how much foster adoption scares me. I want to adopt yes, but the thought of it being a reality frightens me." She said in perfect honesty that only they truly shared.

"You need to tell him." She laid her hand on Liv's "Stop that. You're stabbing that salad as though it's Kelly's

"And say what Erin?" her voice ratchets up in a way that let's Erin Know Liv's on edge.

"I'm not ready to grow our family yet." She answered plainly.

"I can't what if it's a deal breaker for him?" She voiced her worst fear.

"That's not a deal breaker Livvy, wanting to wait to be totally sure is your right. It's smart, he'll respect it but you gotta be honest." She said gently. She is more sensitive with than any other person her life because Liv never ever judges even when she should.

"I hate when you're right Erin. It just pisses me off." She rolled her eyes.

"Which is why I love it so much." She laughed.

-/-/-/-/-

She's doing her neonatal round and checking on Baby Jane Doe when she hears the nurses whispering at the station.

"He's so hot… whichever one of you handed him that baby is singlehandedly responsible for the spontaneous ovulation of the entire floor." One of them says lowly.

"Who is that hot? I wanna see. What I'm married I ain't dead." Liv horns in obviously curious.

"Holding station two. Doc." Olivia tries to be sly but stops dead in her tracks to see Kelly in his squad jacket. Radio in the floor at his feet. The baby cuddled into him taking a bottle. "You're making women's ovaries explode Baby." She states smiling as she wheels into the room.

He looks up. "Hey Livvy, your scrubs are different. You look pretty."

"I got puked on and was forced to change." She crosses her arms over her chest she's not a hundred percent sure but she thinks Kelly maybe sucking up.

"You look good in whatever shade of purple that is."

"It's lavender. Want an update on your rescue?" She smiles down at the baby in his arms.

"I sort of named her." He confesses and Liv's mouth drops open slightly.

"You named a baby that isn't ours." She asked in disbelief.

"Calling her Baby Jane makes me think of that creepy ass Joan Crawford movie." He justifies.

'Ok then what her name until social services comes?" She cocks her head at him eyeing him speculatively she knows her man and something is up.

"Klaire Katherine Eliza."

"You fully named her? Kelly?" she shook her head it was a lovely name but she wasn't theirs not by a long shot.

"Update me please?" he shifts her focus to avoid a fight she knows it but lets him do it anyway.

"She has an Ebstein's Anomaly and small Patent Foramen Ovale." She answers in doctor speak that comes as second nature to her as breathing.

"Small words Baby." He reminds her.

"Her tricuspid heart valve is displaced and she has a tiny hole in the wall of her heart. We're monitoring it for now she might need Dig and other meds at some point even surgical intervention to replace the valve entirely but for now we're monitoring it but there's not enough stress on her heart to warrant further treatment. It's a congenital defect but she shows no signs of prenatal drug addiction. So I'm guessing it was luck of the draw for your baby Klaire here." She leans forward and strokes her cheek to wake her back up so her feeding reflex returns so she'll finish the bottle.

"Dig?" he clarifies glancing up away from Klaire's face back to Liv's

"Oh I'm sorry babe, doctor speak for Digoxin it helps control and maintain the strength and speed of the heart beat."

"You know we could…" he tries to bring up the idea that's been his head the past day.

"Kelly she's sweet and I love that you want to help, but this isn't Bloom or Jones it's a helpless baby. We can't keep her she's not a puppy." Liv tries to be honest and let him down easy.

"Really is that who you think I am after all we've been through? I know she's not a fucking puppy Olivia. I thought you wanted a family? You love kids, I thought-"his radio crackles interrupting them. "I've gotta go. Keep me updated or don't because you obviously don't care. If it's not your perfect little vision of life then screw it right?" he hands her the baby yanks up his radio and leaves.

Liv looks down at the baby girl in her arms. "It's not you baby girl, I know I'd love you it's just me…" she said on the verge of tears.

-/-/-/-

"Thought you quit? Your wife she's pretty certain it's bad for you." Comes from behind him where he sits on the bumper of his car smoking a cigar.

"She's certain of a lot of things ViviAnne. Did she send you? Let me guess I made her cry again? I'm not sorry, I'm not wrong this time." He said exhaling cigar smoke in a cloud above their heads.

"No one sent me Severide, my girlfriend happens to work here." Vivi said dryly.

"She's out on a call you just missed her? How's that going?" he tries to shift focus again but it doesn't work on Vivi the way it does his wife. Her blue eyes just narrow at him in suspicion.

"Nope, no deflecting you're like Leslie that way. Say what's up or forfeit the right to bitch." She retorts.

"I love your sister above and beyond pretty much anything but she confuses the hell out of me." He answers truthfully/

"Yeah? How'd she confuse you now?"

"There was a safe haven drop today and I got her." At Viv's blank look as she hoists herself up to sit on the hood prompts him to elaborate. "Someone abandoned their baby today. Laid her in my arms and left and I felt this instant connection. I want to adopt her. Your sister who I know wants kids shut me down flat out." He stares out into the middle distance angry all over again.

"You want to adopt someone and just sprung it on her? Liv plans her life out the way I plan my parties." Vivi points out. Her sister is not someone cottons to surprise all that well/

"Exactly. It doesn't fit her perfect little idea or her timing plans so fuck it right?" He returns vitriolicly

"No Kelly, not just fuck it, when you adopt? You have a three month period where people can just take back their kids. Because they want too or they're clean or whatever the reason is, no questions asked, no goodbyes, they just take them away. I want you to throw out a guess how many members of my family have been given back in thirty years." Vivi tells him in attempt to show him Livvy's reasoning.

"Three." He states in speculation.

"Seventeen. I was returned twice before my mother was stripped of her rights. We lost Liam four times and he was addicted to meth the last time at thirteen." His stomach drops with the information no wonder Liv had been so unmoving on the issue.

"That's what you're asking Liv to chance." Vivi continued.

He sits there dumbstruck. Seventeen loses of people you love is enough to make even the most committed person shudder. "Would she have told me?" he asks because for once he thinks Liv might have kept something to herself.

"Foster kid thing, doubt it. She hates feeling weak or showing anyone the scars she carries. Livvy is mostly whole but she's got her stuff." Vivi's voice is strong but her eyes mist as she stares at the ember on Kelly's cigar.

Shay returns and walks over to them. She tilts Vivi's chin up. "What's this face for?"

"Old history." She kissed Shay "I'm fine I brought you some catering from the last party tonight." She took Shay's hand. "Think it all through you still feel the way return to it but give Liv time to adjust." She lets Shay pull her to her feet.

He nods deep in thought.

"Return to what?" Shay asked.

"It's not our business Leslie." Vivi tries to maintain her sister's privacy.

"It was obviously yours."

He states looking over at his best friend. "I want to adopt and Liv's skittish about it."

"Offer still stands." She adds.

He shakes his head no before replying. "I'm married and to be honest that plan fell through the moment I laid eyes on Liv and you know it. Our lives lead us in different places Shay and that's a good thing. I need you not to hassle Livvy about this okay?"

"Okay."

"I mean it Shay." He emphasizes

"And I said Okay!"

His phone rings. "I bought those tickets for Bloom's guys like you asked this morning. They just need to print out their boarding passes and they're good. I bought two tell me if you get the guys to cover more." Liv said in his ear.

"Babe, you didn't have too!"

"You asked Honey so I did it. It's the only way you'll reach a guy like Bloom. I should know I married one. You wake him up its money well spent. I gotta go, Mom's on the other line and I only have fifteen minutes left for lunch."

"Livvy, about earlier…."

"I can't right now Kelly I love you. Bye." She hurries to get off the line.

"I love you babe, bye."

-/-/-

"Hey Mama did Kelly's baby boom drop at the Grayne's yet?" She states staring at her chipped pastel pink nails.

"Yeah Ollie, ViviAnne called me." The rough timbre of her Dad's voice crosses the line.

"Daddy why're you using Mom's phone?" she shoves the phone between her shoulder and her ear and begins reorganizing the stock shelves.

"You answer her calls first and this seemed pretty important so I thought I'd help you figure it out."

"I'm scared." She said honestly shoving back a tub of IV tubing.

"I know you are but you have never let fear run anything in your life. Fear isn't a part of my girl at all. Your mother was afraid that she couldn't handle both you and Owen but you were my daughter from the second I saw you. I knew, and if he knows you should trust him and try even though you're scared to try because the only way to overcome it is to face it and walk through it." This information stops liv cold. Her mother had doubts but it doesn't hurt her feeling it makes her feel less alone but her father's undeniable certainty brings tears to her eyes.

She is silent for a long beat. "Livvy you there sweetie?" she nods even though he can't see her

"And if I fall in love with her and she becomes my baby and that girl who dumped her off wants her back then what?" she asked spelling put one of her deepest seated fears.

"Then your heart breaks and it hurts like hell but if she's yours then fate will play in your favor and she'll be yours forever. The only way to know is to try Olivia. The thing about loving people, nothing is guaranteed Darlin' you wait for one you'll be unhappy for a long time to come. Would you take back loving Kelly just because he might die in a fire tomorrow?" She said being her unfailingly logical Daddy. She gets her need to think life out from him. So the fact that he so easily follows his heart where his children are concerned speaks volumes.

"Never and please don't put that mojo out into the universe Daddy." She chastises.

She can picture him standing over the sink eating a sandwich, wire rimmed glasses smudged, and a serious expression painting his features.

"Exactly. It's the same thing you two don't live in the ifs don't start now. Trust him baby. Your guy and your God. It'll all be fine." She'd always thought she'd gained her ability to be a woman of science and faith from her mother but maybe not.

"Thank you Dad. "She said softly.

"Anytime Ollie Girl. Go back to work. I love you."

"Love you more and I'm really proud to be your daughter." She replied.

Once they hung up she wiped her eyes took a breath and let it out leaving the supply closet.

-/-/-/-

Kelly comes to pick Liv up at the end of shift and she's not sitting outside the ER entrance waiting on him. He parks and goes inside. He stops the brunette from Ortho Liv hangs with. "Jodi have you seen Livvy?"

She looks surprised he'd remembered her name but still answered. "She went up to Neonatology to check on the Ebstein's Anomaly baby. Good to see you Kelly."

"You too. I'm gonna go find Livvy. "

-/-/-/

She sits beside the crib with once down holding her tiny hand with her index finger and talking to the baby girl. "Kelly seems to think your name is Klaire. Do you feel like a Klaire? It reminds me of the girl from the breakfast club."

He listens leaning on the door way. "It's a combination of Kelly and Blair if you don't like it-"she jumps at his voice.

She looks over at him. "Be totally honest with me. Do you feel in your heart that she's our baby?"

"Liv I didn't mean to push you should've told me-"

"It's okay Kelly, there's no right or wrong answer but I need one. "She forces the issue.

"I connected with her and I think she's meant to be our child. So yes, in my heart I know that's our daughter."

She brushes at the girl's inky black bangs with a fingertip she takes a deep breath and forges on. "If they take her from us I'll need you to pick me up when I crash emotionally because I will."

He walks over and squats down in front of her. "Hey where'd my optimistic wife go? Liv you have more faith than anyone I know. Use it; I truly believe she was put in my arms for a reason. We pick each other up baby, that won't stop now." He takes her free hand the one not steadily tickling the baby into a nice slumber into his own and squeezes reassuringly.

"I don't mean to be so perfectionistic and anal." She apologizes.

"It's a part of you." He shrugged. "I'm sorry I was so obstinate and unwilling to ask your opinion."

"Obstinate? It's official I'm rubbing off on you." She gave him the brightest smile he'd gotten all day and even now a year later it makes his heart beat funnily in his chest.

"I still have no fucking clue what Omnipotent means or what a squishy is so you got a ways to go." He points out.

He leaned forward and kissed her. "When do we take her home?" the way this moment feels pushes out whatever fear clouds Liv's heart and mind. Now all she can feel is love and happiness. She kisses him back simply because there's nothing she hates worse than fighting with Kelly it messes up the way her world spins but everything's on track now.

"It takes a few days to get through the social services tape but I'm licensed in the event something happens to my parents and they have foster kids. We'll have to take the couples classes but they'll let us have her under my care until you're certified. A week tops. We need to buy a crib, changing table, baby gates for the stairs, socket covers, toilet and cabinet locks, a bouncy seat, play pen,-"

He laughs for the first time all day. He grins at her "baby, slow down she's a week old."

"They grow fast and move faster. Anal perfectionist remember?" she points to herself.

"Oh I remember trust me. Why would you lock the toilet?"

Three Days Later…

Liv rolls into the fire house with Rainey at her side, carrying Klaire in her carrier. "Hey y'all, where's Kelly." She whispers.

"He's out back making Casey help him put together a changing table. Why're you whispering? Is that her?" Cruz said. Rainey sits the carrier on the floor and Pouch comes over to inspect the odd creature in his Master's space.

"I'm surprising him; they signed her over to me today so I took the day off. We got her early. She grinned. "Back Pouch, sit buddy." She commands when gets to close and sniffy.

Everyone gathered around the baby. Shay taking it upon herself to pick the baby up. Inspecting her Ladybug coming home outfit and tiny black Mary Jane's "Hi niece." She looks up at Shay for a second before drifting back to sleep. Casey comes back to grab another tool and gets distracted himself.

"Yo, Casey abandon me why don't you? I still can't figure out the alphabetized pieces."

"It's Kelly proof." Liv teased and he looked over lighting up.

"What are you doing here?"

"Mama had us fast tracked." She points to Klaire.

He takes the baby away from Shay. "Hey Klairey, ok fine don't wake up for me or anything." He kissed her on top of the head and then belatedly remembered to kiss Liv too.

"Ninety days from the moment we start the adoption she's ours. So I set up a meeting with family adoption lawyer tomorrow at two so you can sleep a bit first." Liv stated in an excited tone.

"You have a family lawyer?" Otis asked.

"They adopted eleven people Otis." Kelly said dryly not looking away from Klaire as he strokes one of her chubby cheeks. She'd gained a lot even in the time she'd been under Liv's careful watch.

"Will you give her the Dig? I don't have the emotional fortitude to fight her today and she does better for you anyway." Liv asked

"I'm just more stubborn than she is." Her eyes open. "Oh you heard me talking smack huh?" He smiled. "Yeah, Miss Klaire's my little spit fire huh?"

"Will you measure out the digoxin for me Livvy?"

"Yeah, I already got the lasics down her."

"Is Mommy on the ball today?" Kelly babbles- he makes faces at her. "Hurry I can jab the squirter thingy in she's smiling." He sticks out his tongue and continues making faces at her. He takes the needless syringe and squirts in some medicine and tucks her chin up to close her mouth so she'll swallow.

She whines at him. "I know it taste like crap baby girl, I'm sorry."

"Come on, open up…" he coaxed trying to get the last bit in.

"She got wise to your game Severide." Mouch said. "She's a smart lady, right sweetheart?"

She yawns and he squirts in the rest. " Ha Ha! I win!" he blew a raspberry at her.

"Are you really gloating to a baby Kelly?" Liv shook her head.

"She loves me…" He kissed her cheek."

"Your face is scratchy stop it!" Shay admonishes.

"Your face is scratchy!" he retorts. "Who wants a turn?" he looks to the crowd around them.

"I do." Dawson spoke up for the first time. "I'm dying to hold her." Kelly hands her over.

"Be careful sometimes the meds come up."

"A little puke won't run me off. Guess who's gonna teach you how to be a proper Latina girl. Yeah, cause your Mommy no offense is the whitest white girl I know." She adjusts her polka dot and daisy decorated headband. In the center of the daisy are the words "My Daddy's A Firefighter "Pretty little one huh?"

"What's her name Severide?" Chief asks.

"Klaire Katherine Eliza Severide Sir." He answered proudly.

Here in this moment Kelly's sure he's never been prouder or happier.

Thank you all for reading and reviewing thus far. If you enjoyed please tell me. There are visual aids for the baby on my profile please go check out thanks again! -Meghan


	16. Chapter 16

"Ok so I'm apologizing in advance but we have to go to Mom and Dad's."

"Why?" he yawned getting in the car.

"Vivianne kicked me out of our house I have no clue why."

"So we can't go home to our own house? The one we bought?" he asks glancing over as he kicks back his seat.

"That's the one baby. I'm sorry." She glanced at him before driving off.

"Where's the baby?" he looked in the back seat.

"Probably reciting Oscar Wilde by now if Daddy has his way." She rolled her eyes as he closed his.

"It's already starting and we've had her what twelve hours?"

"Of course it is first Grandbaby."

"Something tells me Pop will be a bit different." He mutters tiredly.

"Oh and before I forget according to my mother we need to go parking and have sex because it could be awhile til we get to do it again." She said and his eyes pop back open.

He looks at her blankly. "Babies don't sleep and they consume your life."

"Really? Like how long til we get back to sex on the regular?" he asked curiously.

"Eh, until she sleeps through the night and or stops joining us in the middle of the night." She said nonchalantly

"Wait they sleep with you? Why?" Kelly asked going a little pale.

"Baby, your cluelessness is so very charming." Liv gave a bemused laugh.

Kelly's in light bulb finally lit up. "Your Dad was serious they pee the bed don't they? And then join you because they peed their bed."

"Well not right now, she has diapers but yes he was truthful."

"I'm going to miss the sex. I like sex." He pouts.

"I know."

"I really like sex with you. You're like my favorite person to have sex with ever and that includes a very flexible Russian." He continues.

"Thanks I think."

"Wanna pull over?" he tries.

"I'm on the freeway Kelly!" She said genuinely exasperated.

He stares at her. "What? Don't look at me like that I can't stop! We can kiss at the turn off stop light."

"You brought up my favorite thing and then said you can't have any that's mean Livvy."

"Are you pouting?"

"You're mean and pretty but mostly just mean." He said and looked out the window,

"Uh! Really? I love being married to you Kelly it's never boring. I'll make deal with you. Think up dirtiest, naughtiest fantasy you have and we'll do that the first time we leave Klaire with Vivi. No threesomes and no I won't do a lesbian while you watch, I have limits." She laid out her offer out.

The gleam in his eye frightens her. "Shit I just opened Pandora's box didn't I?"

He nods. "I'm going to tie you to something in the elevator."

"That's not at all creepy Kelly."

He shrugged. "I'll untie you after. "

-/-/-/-/

Liv's sitting on a bar stool in the kitchen shelling peas for her mother in preparation for lunch. Kelly walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist. "Hey wife person, kiss me so I can go to bed."

"Are you over me being a tease then?" She leaned into him.

"Almost." He kissed her. "Who has the baby?"

"Mila or Grady I lost track of her."

"Livvy! " He reprimands.

"What she's in the house with people who've grown up with special needs babies she's fine." She kissed him again. "I love you goodnight my other baby."

He kissed the hair at her temple. "I love you too Liv, I'm gonna go steal Klaire!"

"If she's awake leave her to play I'm supposed to sleep when she does!" she calls to his retreating back.

-/-/-/-

"Mama Where's Livvy Loser and Kelly?" Liam asked. He held up his camera. "I'm on finishing touches and I mildly despise Vivi today!"

Mara puts down her dish towel. "They're upstairs sleeping, in Liv's old room be quiet. Don't despise your sister it's not nice."

"You haven't dealt with the decorating Hitler." Liam winks at his mom then goes up stairs.

-/-/-/-

He finds them sleeping Kelly on his back arm around Liv who's sleeping with her head on his shoulder. Klaire lay wide awake on his stomach holding her dark little head up staring up at Kelly.

-/-/-/-

Liv woke up from her nap before Kelly she changed the baby sitting her in a swing her mom kept when she was done, leaving her still in the room with Kelly but in her own little space. She grabs the monitor and goes to watch The Fosters with Mills, Mads, and Tess.

"This is so not realistic! No way would any of us be attracted to a fellow foster sibling." Mila said mildly disgusted.

"That's not true, Livvy totally wanted to jump this one way before you his name was Rhett." Owen tattled. He stood behind the couch peering down at them.

"Dear God, I forgot about him! He was like Kelly levels of pretty Mom had him placed elsewhere. The lusty eyes scared her. What are you doin' in my house Owen?" Liv asked stealing Madden's chips.

"Can't say!"

They hear the baby fuss through the monitor. "Where's the Mommy? Did Mommy bail?" Kelly yawned. "Someone peed! You wanna get a dry butt? Then I'm your guy looks like…" there's a beat of silence then a terrified "Olivia!" screamed and her heart jumps into her throat! She tosses down the chips.

"I can't run!" before the words are out of her mouth her Mom's running up stairs and Owen scoops Liv up off the couch to follow.

Her Mom meets her at the door. "Her umbilical cord fell off. She's fine. Newbie's a bit tweaked though." She said with a soft smile

"I'm going to kill him with my bare hands!" Liv growled out. He'd just taken ten years off her life.

"Go easy on him sweetheart. He's new and it's precious." Mara pats her shoulder.

"If you need help I can outfit him with cement shoes." Owen offered.

"Bubbie you rock. Can you just sit me on the bed?" She said using her sweet voice that usually meant bad things for Kelly.

"Kelly it's okay." She tries to be comforting.

"A part of her body fell off!" he said looking at Liv like she had a few screws loose.

"It's supposed to babe. How do you think you ended up with your cute little innie belly button?"

"I never thought about it. Do we have to keep it? It's gross." His entire face screws up.

Liv flung herself back on the bed and cackled with laughter "No babe we don't keep it God I love you." He leaned over and kissed her. "Baby don't leave Klaire on the changing table alone."

"Shit!" he hurries back and picks her up. "Daddy's sorry he's so shit at this but you're the first baby I have ever really known."

"You're doing well Kelly." Liv encourages as they set on the bed next to her.

"You're like SuperMama."

"Would you mind telling me that when she's a teenager and hates me because I don't let her pierce her face or wear skirts like postage stamps? I just have practice Kell but this the only one that has ever belonged to me I'm just as scared as you."

"That makes me feel better knowing you share my constant terror."

"Welcome to parenthood Baby." Liv said smirking.

"And to think we had doubters."

"We did? Well fuck em'" She said and leaned over to kiss.

"Can we go home now?" He asked.

-/-/-/-/-

"Do we show her around the house? What's the protocol here for infant house members?" he asked looking back at her as they stood outside their door.

"Kelly Klaire is asleep please let Klaire sleep."

"When does she like do stuff?" he shoots her a perplexed look.

"She does stuff now; she eats, sleeps, poops and sometimes accidentally smiles while attempting to fart."

"Viviane? Shay? Can we reenter our house now?" Kelly calls up as opens the door and then takes carrier from Liv.

"You're here thank God if she makes me paint one more thing and I may just/ break up with her and I kind of can't since I love her." Shay said as she came down the stairs.

"That's being with a Grayne they like to paint!" Kelly replied.

"I know, I saw I slept in your very girly bed."

"May I hold her?"

"You wake her you take her Leslie Shay." Liv snipped back.

"Go upstairs Mrs. Bossy Pants. Go with her Mr. I'm Whipped."

"You're very lucky you're holding my daughter right now Shay." He points at them with a glare and follows Liv to the elevator.

"You're just mad because she speaks the truth." Liv teased. "I'm playing, teasin' baby just teasin'." She back peddles as he shoots her a dirty look.

"Get your little fine ass on the elevator woman." He commands.

"Baby's still here you can't tie me to anything."

"Doesn't mean I can't dream Livvy." He smirked down at her and slapped the up button.

-/-/-/-

There's a bow on one of the guest bedroom doors. "What'd you guys do?" Liv asked Shay who had woken up Klaire.

"Open the door and find out."

Kelly opens the door and inside is a fully decorated nursery. The walls were gray and the furniture white. There red and black accents in the Lady Bug theme.

On one wall is the crib and rocker over the crib a Lady Bugs flight trail spells out her name. On the wall above the changing station are black and white pictures in silver engraved frames. The one on the far right is one of Liv holding Klaire up to her shoulder on the bottom of the frame is engraved with "Her little hands stole my heart." The center photo a picture of a bright eyed smiling Klaire. "I was chosen not expected."

"Liam, how'd you get these?" Liv asked.

"I was sly."

In the one on the far left Kelly is lying on his back holding Klaire. He's holding her so close that their foreheads touch as they peer at each other. "And her little feet ran away with it." The inscription finishes the phrase started on Liv's frame.

"They're beautiful Liam…" She whispers.

On the last wall not bearing a window is a chalk wall. The wall has an impressive list of people who'd been adopted and then there are notes from their family under the heading reasons you're loved.

"You guys how did you do this?"

"My girlfriend has a key." Vivi supplied

"Thank you all."

"Not a problem, you know when someone enters our family we party it up. This was just the start." Lang said leaning down to kiss her cheek. "Don't lean on the door yet man it's not totally dry." Owen advises Kelly.

"You know you're going to be one kick ass uncle right?" Liv whispers to Lang with his diagnosis it's likely Lang will never have children.

"And you'll be one kick ass Mama."

"You can borrow her anytime."

"Don't let Sarah Anne hear that you'll never get her back." He said with a smile.

"It was Viv's brainchild but my man power. This is my way of saying thank you for magically procreating so I don't have too!" Owen said hugging Liv.

"Owen Alexander Grayne!" She reprimands.

"What? I know I'm not the only one grateful. Let's be honest Liam's trying figure out which team he plays for, Rainey pines over Pin Cushion, Vivi is eternally bed hopping, it was you or me." Owen explains.

"Hey I'm Pansexual!" Liam defends himself.

"What the fuck's that?" Kelly asks. "Seriously I don't know and who's Pin Cushion?"

"Keller was hot! Why do y'all gotta hate." Rainey pouts.

"Babe Pansexual is someone whose attractions aren't based on gender but who they fall in love with as a person and Rain, Pin Cushion was creepy. He looked like a hybrid of Dave Navarro and Marilyn Manson." Liv said.

"Makes me glad I'm gay just looking at him." Vivi added in while shuddering.

"They're only honor bound to be nice to him in the event he marries you." Kelly tells a pouty Rainey.

"I didn't get that Memo Douchey McFireballs, it's a shame to I take joy in loathing you." Owen teased.

"Hey! No one has shown the reason this was all done around her room." Erin said. She stands behind Kelly in the door. "I had to rush but I thought you'd need something for your desk douche nozzle." She hands Kelly a gift bag.

"I didn't even think to-"Liv starts.

"I know, you've been busy so I did it." Erin finishes stopping to hug her friend.

Kelly pulls out the framed shot Liam had taken of them sleeping earlier. The frame engraving reads "True family knows no definition only love."

Erin takes the chalk from Owen. She writes. "I love you for many reasons yet to be discovered. I love you because you have given your mother a more defined purpose than before. Because she's now your mother something she thought she may never be. For this child she prayed and the Lord granted what was asked of him. 1 Samuel 1:27 "Always, Aunt Erin.

"Leave it to the baddest girl here to leave a bible verse on the wall."

"I can still own you Owen Grayne." She retorted not looking at him.

"The badassery is a front." Liv said with a misty eyed smiled.

Erin hugged her and was the only one to notice the fear behind the joy in her friend's deep green eyes. "Don't go there, just don't. Eighty nine more days. I have a count down on my phone."

"See Countdown to Klaire." She showed Liv.

"You make her sound like a rocket ship Lindsay!" Lang Said as the baby was passed to him. "Hey Dudette."

-/-/-/-

He feels warm lips on his chest but doesn't really wake up until she moves lower and lower. When her tongue rings his navel he is fully alert. "What are you doing Livvy?" he asks.

"You'll figure it out." Her voice is soft with sleep. Her redhead ducks beneath the covers. Her mouth finds what it seeks and the air backs up in his lungs. The wet silky warmth of her mouth makes his insides curl.

The deep suction surrounding his cock has him reaching down to tangle a hand in her hair. Her tongue swipes under the head of his cock. "Livvy." He calls out through hardly gritted teeth. Her chuckle is an exhaled breath feathering across his pelvic bone.

He feels himself drawing closer to climax. "Stop Liv! Stop, Stop. "

"You sure?" her head pops up from beneath the covers.

"Not really I can't decide. Get up here woman." He pulls her up his body so she's straddling his hips. Lucky for him she's only wearing a tee shirt.

"You planned this. "He said and she smirks down at him as she grips the headboard and pulls upward to set the pace. He lets her have control mostly because it's easier and he likes watching her. When he's on edge he flips her beneath him driving into her he kisses her hard and pulls her hair. Her breathy little gasp claws at his control. "Olivia…" he whispers her name and they're so close they're breathing the same air. He sees the orgasm building from the look in her eye. Seconds later it's rolling through her body and tightening around him.

He kisses her as his orgasm hits. "Goddamn." He curses as he comes down collapsing on her. He goes to roll off of her.

"No stay for a second. Hi!" She says all soft and happy. It makes him smile.

"Hi baby." He said chuckling as he moved sweat slicked hair off of her face and neck. "How are you?" he asked as he kissed her softly.

"I'm happy. How about you?"

Klaire's cry crackles through the monitor. "I knew going for round two was pushing it!" he kissed her again. "I'll get her." He got up and put on pants to journey down the hall.

"Good Mornin' Klaire Bear. How's my princess this morning?" Liv listens to him talk to their girl through the monitor."

Liv's phone chimes.

She reads a text from Erin. "Hey Bitchface morning coffee date with you and the babe?"

"Sure. 7; 30?"

"Sounds great,"

"Bye twat waffle. I love you!"

When she gets up she dresses in her CFD yoga pants the hip is garnered with the logo the and the waist band is red a zebra print and a matching red yoga top with a circle cut out back. Her hair in a messy bun on the top of her head she swipes on some sheer lip gloss and mascara and goes to dress the baby.

Kelly sits in the rocker half asleep. "Hey baby. It's six forty five." His eyes open. "You look hot."

"I'm in sweats you suck up!" she replies grinning.

"So sexy…" he keeps it up smiling back.

"Gimmie Klairey and get in the shower." He hands her the baby girl and kisses her before getting up.

"Why are my lips tingly?" he asks.

"Lip gloss it's supposed to make my lips more kissable. "

"Baby you're plenty kissable. Does that hurt? Why would you do that?" he said in honest confusion.

"Beauty is pain."

"Bullshit. You're beautiful as you are stop doing things that make your face hurt."

"Thank you Kell."

"For what?""

"For loving me as I am. Now shower."

"Giraffe bubble jumper?" Liv asked Klaire.

"Daddy votes no, sounds ugly." He said walking out.

"Daddy's a guy Daddy gets no vote." She retorts to his back.

-/-/-/-

After dropping off Kelly at work they head to the coffee shop rocking out to some country music. Liv sings along to Paint Me a Birmingham and Klaire slept like a rock in the back seat.

"Klaire Katherine Eliza you're supposed to be my back up." She mutters to herself. "Daddy gave you a long ass name sweet pea. I'm sorry."

When Liv rolls through the door of the coffee shop carrier in her lap it hits Erin more than it had before in the brand new nursery. It's more real and true now. Her best friend is someone's Mom.

"You're a Mama Liv Lou. It just hit me."

"Yep, she's mine Kelly was right. Last night midnight feeding just me and her and it clicked but I'm still terrified until it's legal. Don't tell Kelly I said he was right he'll gloat." Liv's a glittering smile and sits the carrier in the seat next to her which Erin promptly takes her from to hold her.

"Wait a minute someone got L-A-I-D I know the look!" Erin's eyes narrow into little brown slits

"E, you don't need to spell it out she can't talk yet but yes, I do love when I get to stealth attack him."

They sit sipping their coffees and Erin holds Klaire "You need to come to family dinner Erin Autumn! Mom keeps bugging me."

"That means I'll see your brother." Erin points out mid sip.

"So you'll see him BFD I need mom off-"her pager goes bat shit insane. "I'm not on today." She dials the hospital but the line's busy there's a news interruption. The sound is off on the TV to the left behind the counter but she sees the university hospitals main ER explodes. "Oh God!"

"What Livvy?" Erin looks around startled.

She points and Erin looks over her shoulder to the TV. "Holy Mother of God."

"I've gotta go, I need to go take Klaire to Mom and go." Liv's words came out in one rushed breath.

"I'll take her. Let's go! Livvy?" Erin said.

When she catches Liv's eye she says. "Remember to breathe, think and keep moving just keep moving okay? And don't think about Kelly."

-/-/=/=

She'd kissed her baby and left her with Erin. Now she parks her truck in the grass next the Pediatric ER she winds through floods of people in the main hospital lobby.

The mass of people is nearly overwhelming she grabs a pile of triage tags and wields them like a talisman. "If you can walk please gather near the far vending machine. I will get to you all I promise. I'm Dr. Severide!" She shouts using her authoritative voice.

She finds one of her interns crowding back against a wall "Hillman get your ass over here. Now! Tag people. Quick, cursory, accurate, exams, you got me? Green for minor, yellow for serious, red, for critical, black for deceased. Is that clear?"

"Yes Doctor."

She triages dozens of people without stopping until another doctor shouts her name. "Severide!"

"Young!" she shouts back.

"I need help little guy has a compound fracture I can't get him to stay still enough to place a line."

"That's compartment syndrome Jodi." She said.

"I know." She responds expression dark.

"Hiya handsome you got a name?" Liv asks the kid.

"Sam."

"Oooh I like Sam. Nice and strong! Okay Sammy, talk to me my hubs is busy I got no one to flirt with."

"I like your chair." Sam replies.

"Men always want me for my wheels."

"Big stick buddy." Jodi said. "Owww."

"How old are you Sam?" Liv interrupts.

"Six. I was here to run in the cancer fundraiser for my friend Sadie."

The name hits Liv like a slap but she brushes it aside. "I've got flash." Jodi said.

"Do need help?"

"No got it."

"OR's should be fine, the rest of the hospital seems untouched."

"How do you?"

"I glanced over. It was a bad idea, OR 3's empty. Go. Be quick. See you soon Sammy!"

She goes back to triaging. "Hillman comes learn real fast. Palpate the belly and tell me what you feel. Fast, no thinking only instinct."

"That's hot belly. He needs surgery before we go from red to black."

"Atta girl. Take him to Dr. Seals in bay 3 he's doing inn field surgery."

"Livvy we need a pronouncement." Liv knows the voice.

She turns to see a pale Shay. "You good girl?"

"Fine." She checks for vitals.

"Time of death 9:33 AM. Damn it my fourth one today. Have you seen Kelly?"

"He's digging Dawson out she's trapped."

"Jesus. Okay I gotta keep moving. "She ditches her gloves where she sits. The gloves snag on her wedding set. She takes her rings off and puts them in her lab coat pocket. "Please don't fall out." She kisses the cool metal of the pendant hanging on her neck. "Be careful, be smart, be quick, Kelly." She says like a prayer and moves on.

Liv is stitching a scalp laceration when Shay comes by again a few hours later. "Shay!" Rafferty shouts and Liv turns just in time to see Shay collapse. "Fuck! Take this." She hands off the scalp lack.

"Shay!" She shouts undoing her belt and slides to the floor. "Leslie can you hear me?" she asks and gets nothing she examines her and finds a pressure dressing over a deep abdomen puncture. "Goddamn Shay!" She picks up Shay's radio.

"Leutient Kelly Severide Squad three of house 51 respond if able."

"Livvy? What're you-"

"I'm speaking as a doctor not as your wife." She said plainly.

"Affirmative." He responds equally professional.

"Shay has a deep and very free bleeding abdominal puncture I'm going to fix it but I need consent from her medical power of attorney she's unresponsive to verbal commands." She said being strictly professional and proficient.

"Do what you have too."

"I got her babe. I'm out."

"I need a room, blood, fluids, a suture kit, and enough antibiotics to clean out an elephant. And I need help off the floor." Liv demands.

A cop Liv sort of recognizes picks Shay up. "Exam 9!"

Rafferty picks her up. "Thank you. Someone needs to call my sister Vivianne Grayne."

"Your sister?" Rafferty scowls.

"Is Shay's partner. The one you didn't want shoved down your throat. Yeah, I remembered." Liv answered.

-/-/-/-/-

After replacing half of Shay's blood volume and pumping her full of fluids and the strongest antibiotics she can find she cleans the wound stops the bleeding and stitches her up.

There's a lull in the action she takes a breath and sits still a moment. "I'd forgotten you were born for trauma. This is a horrible circumstance but I still love watching you work. "A voice rumbles beside her

She turns to see Carver. All floppy hair and love me eyes. "We're not having post traumatic sex Carve I'm married."

"Had to try, it's one thing we were really good at. Verbal ping pong aside."

"I miss the verbal ping pong occasionally but that's all." She smirks.

"I gotta go," she tries to exit.

"I know. When you crash? I hope he's there Livvy."

"He's here. He'll crash." She answers.

"Right fire fighter." He nods in understanding.

She turns to go check on Young's compound fracture and runs smack into Kelly exiting Shay's room. "Oh I think I've got everything with Shay handled, it might be touch and go infection wise with the intern-"he cuts her off with a kiss so deep she feels it in the toes she can't actually feel.

She can hear Vivi whistle at them from inside Shay's room. She grabs the suspenders of his turn out gear to pull him closer and kiss back.

When the break a part. "Sorry, I got you all sooty. I just needed too."

"Not complaining." She kissed him again. "Needed it too. I gotta go."

"Hey baby?" he says and she cocks her head at him.

"Yeah?"

"What's verbal ping pong?"

"Nothing worth being jealous of, after all I love you." She smiles at him.

"Stay put just one second Liv." He leaves only to return with a warm wash cloth. He wipes away the soot marks he'd left from grabbing her face and kissing her lips. He brushes the clean section of cloth under eyes as if to wipe away the dark circles.

It's oddly sweet moment amidst the chaos of their day. It's uncharacteristic of Kelly to have such a tender moment in a public place but somehow she thinks for Kelly right now it's only them. "There ya go Doc you're good to go. I love you too."

"That was downright romantic McFireballs." Viv calls out.

"I promised Cole I'd take care of her. I'm trying." He answers back quietly.

He turns around to ask Liv something and she's half way down the hall. "Who has our child?" he shouts.

"Mom. Erin took her!" She hollers back.

She's going on twenty three hours working nonstop. "Grayne! Go home." Dr. Arata her mentor said walking towards her. "I'm good Doc. I catheterized midway through the day I have my Foley and I ate a banana on the run. My husband's safe and they're still bringing in people. I'm good. Thanks though. It's Severide now. Got married." She said not looking from debriding burn.

"I know. He's out in the lobby waiting on you. Go home to your baby. That's an order."

"I have-"she tries to object.

"Look at me Olivia. You don't need to keep going you're done. Job superbly done. Go."

"Hi gorgeous! I'm your relief." Holmby grinned at her as he squatted down by her.

"I've never been so glad to see you in my whole life Jason."

-/-/-/-

She nearly cries when she sees Kelly standing in the lobby. Looking like she felt. He held the carrier in one hand.

"I'm sorry baby. I forgot to pick you both up." She said.

"Your Mom covered your ass." He teased.

She tears up. "Baby its okay I was teasing." She starts sobbing. "Shit! Babe!" He sits Klaire on the ground and strides over to pick her up.

He stands there with her sobbing in his arms. It's a scary thing watching her crumble. "Liv, you're over tired baby." He said trying to calm her down.

"They blew up a hospital Kelly full of sick people and people running to honor their loved ones. Who does that? It's heartless and evil! I pronounced five people dead and barely saved Shay." Hearing it all boiled down makes Kelly's eyes sting with his own tears.

"How many saves did you make today?" he asks so she's see it in a different light.

"I didn't count that's tacky." She said slightly offended.

"Of course you didn't. You saved lives today babe. Shays and probably a hundred more. We both did, you answered your calling baby. Now, we go home." He kisses her forehead.

"Okay, one thing? Am I still sexy in my sweats?" She asks grinning.

Kelly laughed genuinely for the first time since this began. "The sexiest."

"Liar."

"Nope still hot." He puts her down.

"I'm starving and fucking tired."

"IHOP's in the car."

"I love you for that."

"Your Mom again!"

"I love her then."

Once back in the chair, she reached down taking Klaire from the carrier, "You'll just have to put her back in."

"I know, I just want to hold her from here to the car. I need one good thing today. One, that's all, She's it." She replied as he wheeled with one hand and carried the baby seat in the other.

"I laid in the floor with her for ten minutes staring at a water spot on the ceiling .she was so fascinated."

"We have water spots?" she twisted to look at him.

"Your parent's do."

"You stared at the ceiling for ten minutes?" her brows quirk.

"I stared at her, staring at the ceiling. There was staring."

"Who won Klaire or the ceiling?" she asked laughing.

They walk toward the door and find Erin leaning on a wall next to an elevator. "Hang on Baby. Five minutes I promise. Here take Klaire." She hands him the baby and wheels off.

She rolls over. "Erin?"

Erin hugs her. "Erin? I'm scared. Are you okay?"

"I caught that fucker." She whispers.

"Good."

"I love you."Erin said.

"I know I told you to keep moving because I was scared you'd trigger but when that guy held that knife to my throat I couldn't remember if I said I loved you. So, I love you. I really, really, love you LIvvy." She continued.

Liv looked at her. "Someone held you at knife point? When? Why am I just now-"

"You were busy babe Cruz and Mills handled it." Kelly said.

"Remind me to thank them."

-/-/-/-

"You're going to wake Klaire! Girls! What's so funny?" he said as the girls sit on the couch eating their brioche cinnamon roll French toast. "Facebook video…' liv cackled "Dancing and then someone opens…." She died laughing again.

"I'm a little scared." Kelly said unsure about this version of Liv.

"A door mid head whip and knocks her over." She finished doubled over.

"No, the baby laughing sells it." Erin added.

"I'm confused….Livvy did you just snort?" he said starting to laugh himself.

"She does this when she's over tired."

"That made me happy, I'm a sick person." She said trying to catch her breath.

"Let's just go to bed Livvy. Before your laugh gets any creepier."

"But I didn't even rock Klaire to sleep."

"Baby it's eight fifteen AM you've been up twenty six hours. Klaire is her crib napping we're going to bed." He orders

"Carry me? Because you love me not because I'm lazy."

"Was planning on it." He scoops her up.

"You need to call Katie and Benny they left messages the explosion made national news."

"After sleep. Couch folds out Erin." He said.

Liv cuddled into him. "I'm using you as a pillow until I have mine. Night E."

She sniffs his neck. "You smell really good but I'm too tired to make a move."

"I'd fall asleep anyway." He states starting up the stairs.

They lay in bed. "Cuddle me McFireballs."

He pulls her in and curves around her. "Kelly?"

"Yes baby?" he tries not groan.

"I was really scared for you today. I love you." She whispers tickling her finger tips up and down his arms.

"I was scared for you too. The second bomb was in the parking structure. Mills de armed it. Thank you for pushing through the fear though. I love you more than you know. Night Livvy." He said and kissed the crook of her neck.

"Night Kell." She turns and splays across him.

"That's okay Liv just lay on top of me." She moves. "I was teasing babe don't you dare move." She settles back down into place.

8 hours later.

"Babe…" she waits. "Kelly…" she pokes his cheek. "Hey Kelly, "he swats her hand away. "Keely." She quotes Hadley.

"What?" he grumbles.

"I gotta pee and my chair is on the second floor."

"I hate you and your pretty fucking face. I don't mean that. How bad do you need to pee?" he grouses.

"Like really bad."

"Fine, if I lug you down there you owe me a blowjob."

"Hand job? I'm too tired to be orally fixated." She replied.

"Deal."

She sits up. "You know I do dirty shit just because I like you like that. You could just take me to pee because you love me like that. Then go back bed." He piggy backs her to their bathroom.

"You have a point." He set her on the pot and handed her the toilet paper roll before turning back to the bed. "Don't leave me here!" she complains.

He waits while she pees. "Jesus woman it's like a cow pissing on a flat rock. Are you part camel?" he asked surprised by the amount of pee in her body as he rubs the sleep from his eyes.

"Are you part Jackass? Or a total asshole?" she retorts teasingly smiling up at him.

"Little of both." He admits.

"I'm done." She states. She wipes.

"Wanna go check on our human?"

"Klaire, oh god… It didn't hear the monitor. Go! I'm serious Kelly, we're awful parents."

"We're not awful, we're just new that's all." he sprints down the stairs.

"My parents never forgot me and there were a dozen of us. We're awful!" she mutters to herself.

He runs down. "Erin has her we're good!" He shouts up and the baby cries.

"No, Kelly…I just wanted to pee." She whines as Klaire's cry amplifies.

"Stupid, loud, sexy husband." She mutters to herself. "Bring my chair and the baby." She shouts back.

-/-/-/-

"Mom I had to tear the ladies away from the Netflix queue but we're here." Kelly hollered as He, Liv, Erin, and Klaire enter the kitchen. "House Marathon it's sacred." Liv said as though he'd committed a sin.

"Sorry baby."

"Do interrupt Backdraft?" she cocks her head at him.

"Never seen it."

"Seriously?"

"My Dad was a firefighter I had no reason to see it." He shrugs

"Good point…" her mother hugs her. "Oh I'm getting hugged ok, ok, mama I'm fine. Kelly's fine, Shay's going to be fine. We're all fine." She tries to be reassuring.

"Mama Mara, loosen your grip a tad Livvy can't breathe." Erin said and she let go of Liv to hug Erin. She moves on to pull Erin into a bone crushing hug. "Kelly has the baby." Liv said in attempt to help her friend.

"Erin's not a hugger." Owen informs Kelly. "She will hold hands with my sister though. It's very weird. Can have the baby?"

"Liv's history with Erin is just weird. I've given up on trying to understand it." He hands over Klaire.

"Who's boss today? ViviAnne is with Shay." Liv said finally free from her mother. .

"Me!" Owen's wife Lindsey shouted. "You're on sides. Kelly's watching the breads and Erin is doing salad."

"Gotcha! She said stopping to kiss Kelly for no particular reason and then moves into the kitchen.

There was a moment underground searching for Gabi that Kelly wasn't sure he'd get this place or moment back but he's glad he has because for as much as he loves Livvy and tries to make her happy, only her family lights her up this way.

AN: I own nothing but Liv and Klaire I hope you enjoyed. Please review-Meg.


	17. Chapter 17

AN: This chapter contains spoilers for the finale it spans the last 2 episodes and the time line is stretched farther than cannon for story purpose I own nothing but my characters and my sections of plot. Enjoy and please do review! This one's a doozy! -MM

"What are you doing and how did you do it?" Liv demanded as Kelly held the not crying Klairey. "Herrmann's bouncy trick." He stated with a wide proud grin.

"But I can't bounce and she has cried for hours." She whines.

"I think its just movement she likes try swaying. Also she farted like four bounces ago." He supplied.

He kisses Klaire's head and hands her to Liv. He kisses Liv. "See ya ladies, have a good day. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. I love you." He head for the door and grabs his squad jacket.

"That leaves the field wide open Kelly." Liv teased. "We love you too. Be careful please."

"Always baby. Bye!"

"Bye Daddy..." she fusses when Liv picks up her hand to wave. "Ok never mind the waving. Bye Kell." And he's out the door.

-/-/-/-

Erin and Liv have lunch at Lou Malnati's pizzeria.

"So, six days and the Klaire Bear is a Severide. You excited?" Erin asked as she tickles the bottom of Klaire's foot as she sat in her carrier on the table between them.

"She's already mine in every way that counts. Why did you really drag me and my baby out today? Liv gets straight to the point knowing Erin is hiding something.

"Because I know you and sitting a home drives you really crazy and Charlie showed up at the station." She said the last part in a rush.

Liv crossed her arms. "Do what?"

"He just showed up Livvy don't fucking look at me like that. It's not like I invited him."

"What does he want? There's always something with Charlie."

"I don't know."

"Well I hope you have no intention of finding out and inviting him back into your life. You've shed who you were don't let him drag you back. Hank will kill you both. I'll help him." She shakes her head but says no more.

"He's just rattling my cage. I'm not going to let him. What're you going to do today? "She said picking up her slice of peperoni.

"Take Kell lunch drop in for a consult with Holmby to get Klaire checked over and finish my never ending laundry." Liv rolled her eyes but smiled.

-/-/=/-/-/-

When Liv tries to park a car that looks oddly familiar is in the handicapped spot. "Who the fuck do they think they are?" She mutters.

Her jaw drops when Devon exits the car. "Bitch please you do not get a do over." She resists the urge to flip her off and parks out in the boonies by Kelly's car. She gets out then transfers up into the seat next to Klaire and gets Klaire into the chest harness she'd worn all day. She transfers carefully back to her chair. She grabs Kelly's food and locks the car.

She rolls in a new black guy looks surprised to see her.

"My husband around?" She asked the guy as Herrmann walks over.

"Hey Livvy, who helped you get inside?"

"No one Herrmann, where's Kell… ghosts of girlfriend's past are outside." She nods back toward the door.

Kelly comes from his quarters. "I thought I heard you Baby, that's the new guy Newhouse."

"Hi I'm Olivia the wife. Kelly you remember that skeevy girl Shay was with when we first got together? She's out in the handicap spot looking all stoned out and sulky."

"What?" Gabi asked.

"I have no clue why she's here but she's out there." As Gabi went to get Shay Kelly went outside. "Kelly, come on babe…I brought you Malnati's Oookay fuck. We're going back outside then." She rolls out behind him.

Kelly stands and stares the woman down. "She's got some nerve showing up here."

"I agree let's go in and eat this is a monkey on Shay's back you can't make choices for her. Let's go in. Come on!" She takes his hand and pulls.

"I don't like her."

"No one does. I'm calling my sister this bitch better not be trying to ruin their relationship." She said as they go back in.

"I won't stop you. Hell I'll dial." He glares over his shoulder.

She dials Viv's number. "isSay ouyay eednay otay allcay emay ay'sShay ashytray exway ustjay owedshay upway atway iftyfay oneway." She says quickly.

"What was that?" Kelly said confused. He holds the door for her.

"Pig Latin." She points to Shay shooting her a nasty glare across the truck.

"You speak Pig Latin, I'm not sure if that's really nerdy or cute." He kissed the top of her head.

"And gibberish but only with Owen."

Her phone rings as they're sitting down to eat. She hands Klaire over to Mouch.

"Yo Vivi!" She shoots for happy.

"How hot is she? "She replied sourly.

She looks like a strung out Summer Glau. She's a 6 if you're feeling generous if not she's a straight up four. "She answered chin resting in her hand as she watched Kelly devour his pizza.

"What am I?" Kelly asks smirking. He thought the rating thing was just a guy thing.

"You broke the scale." She said even as he smirks at her mouth full. "Yup, really love you."

"What do you think she wants? Does Leslie still look attracted to her?"

"I don't know! I'm not a lesbian I can't read attractions." She scowls.

"A little but not like she wants to jump her bones right here." Kelly answers. "Then again I always want to jump somebody's bones so I might not be the best judge." Liv glares at him. "What? I wanna jump your bones constantly." He shrugs. "Just yours no one else's." He amends.

"What if she asks her out?" Vivi asked.

"Show up and stomp the bitch like an ant hill." Liv replied darkly.

"You're very angry today. It's sexy." He leans over and kisses her.

"Whore used the handicap spot."

"I'd be pissed to ma'am." Newhouse says from the other end of the table.

"I like this one. No need to call me ma'am Liv works. The only thing that makes me madder is transferring in the dark when Kelly leaves the seat up."

"I hate that Matt's the worst!" Gabi said coming into sit beside Liv.

"I've screamed at Kelly four in the morning but he still forgets."

"You there? Let's go stalk the bitch." Viv cut in.

"After Klaire's appointment."

"She okay? Vivi automatically became concerned.

"Fine it's just a heart checkup." She replied.

"That reminds me. Can you go with me?" She looked to Kelly.

"I gotta check with Chief but should be fine."

-/-/-

She goes to run errands and comes back to wait for Kelly who's on a call for the chief.

Her phone rings.

"Hello." She said warily having not recognized the number off hand.

"Hello is this Dr. Olivia Severide."

"Yes." She allows.

"I'm Althea Botwin with DCFS. I need to see the child today."

"I'm at firehouse fifty one. My husband he's a firefighter, Klaire has a doctor's appointment. If you wouldn't mind you could come here? I can assure you Klaire is in perfect health and thriving with us but I was a foster child I understand the need for wellness checks especially with the adoption signing being so close."

"I'll be by shortly."

=/=/=/=

The social worker pulls up and Liv can tell by the look on her face what's about to happen.

"Mrs. Severide is your husband nearby?" She asked gently.

"No. he's on a call." She adjusts Klaire higher in arms willing this woman to go the hell away.

"I need you to surrender the child Ma'am I'm so sorry."

"She's mine, I have six days left! Just six days please." Liv said tears in her eyes as she begged for her child.

"The mother invoked her rights. I'm sorry honey I have to take the child." She reaches for Klaire and Liv jerks away from the kind eyed woman's hands.

"Her name is Klaire!" She said angry. She had a name.

"I understand, I need you to say your goodbyes now."

"She has a heart condition, its potentially serious and needs monitoring." She points out. "My husband isn't here, he deserves a goodbye please wait."

"I'm aware. I'm sorry I can't, I still have to take her."

She holds Klaire close and kisses her head. "Klaire, I love you so much so does Daddy. You've made us so happy but your real mother needs you to make her happy now. I want you to be happy and healthy promise me? "She looked at Klaire looking up at her all innocence and smiles." Okay? Yeah. Bye Klairey." Her voice doesn't shake even as the tears pour .She hands the baby over and watches doubled over sobbing as the social worker took Klaire loads her in the car and drives away.

She sits alone in the empty truck bay until Shay pulls up in she must look shell shocked because Shay approaches carefully. "Liv? What's wrong where's Klaire?"

"Social services took her." She said woodenly voice hoarse from sobbing.

"What? How?"

"The mother invoked." She just looked up at Shay seemingly lost.

"Mills get Kelly here now." Shay asked.

"But they're-"

"Call him. Use the radio. I don't care. Just do it." She orders.

She can hear Mills talking to Kelly over the radio but doesn't listen. "I'm going to hug you Livvy."

"We don't hug and you barely like me."

"Just let me. I'll hold you tell he gets here to do it himself okay?" she nods as Shay embraces her.

"They just took her like it was nothing. Like she was the prize in a cereal box. Like it meant nothing. I don't understand Shay. They wouldn't even wait for Kelly. "She rested her head on Shay's shoulder.

"I'm sorry sweetie, really I am. Let's go back to Kelly's quarters alright. We'll call your Mom."

"I'm in the truck bay I'm not suppo-"

"It's okay babe." She lets go of her temporarily to push Liv inside.

-/-/-/-

"What's wrong? Where's Liv? Where's Klaire? Mills what's going on?" he said almost sprinting in.

"You need to talk to her man." Mills replied expression serious.

"You're scaring me Mills."

"She's in your quarters."

He walks in and sees Shay of all people holding Liv's hand and hugging her. "How do I tell him?"

"Tell me what?" He asked fearing the worst.

She looks up at him and the way the light in her eyes has dimmed he knows but refuses to believe. "While you were gone social services forced me to surrender Klaire her mother invoked her parental rights I had to give her up. I tried to wait for you but DCFS wouldn't wait." She said it fast but sounded broken and tired.

"How is that possible is it even legal? Can we get her back?" He asks. So this is what true heartbreak feels like. It's so much pain he almost goes numb. Almost…nope he can still feel it. It's odd and scarier than he'll ever admit.

"No. we can't she's a safe haven drop so there is no abandonment charges to work in our favor. It works like any adoption she invoked within the allotted time period it's all legal and above board. I had nothing to make our case babe. So they took her. We knew this could happen I just didn't think it would hurt this much. I don't know how my parents do it."

He turns and wordless walks in the opposite direction. "Kelly, wait." Shay tries and then Liv goes to follow.

"Kelly…Babe…" her voice shakes as she sniffs back another wave of tears.

"I'm fine baby…" his breath caught. "Need a minute to myself."

"I'm sorry you didn't get a goodbye. I tried to wait-"he turns to her. "I'm not mad at you Livvy it's not your fault. I just need a second okay." He kisses her forehead then walks into the in house gym.

"Okay." Seeing Kelly on the verge of tears makes Liv cry again. As she sits outside the gym she can hear the smack of him hitting the heavy bag and the occasional broken off sob.

"Hey where's your baby? Klaire right? How was the doctor's appointment?" Newhouse asked innocently.

It's more than she can take. "Tell Kelly I'm outside."

=/=/=/=

"Mom this is awful I'm outside and Kelly's in the gym crying alone because he doesn't want me there and I- I don't even know where to start. How do I go home now?" She tilted her head back on the brick wall and watched the bright blue sky. It doesn't match her mood.

"You give me your keys Princess. " Shay said standing next to her. "And callin' your sister was low but all things considered we're cool."

"Why?" She lowers the phone from her ear.

"You don't wanna go home to all her things trust me. Its salt on the wound, I'm doing this because, and listen close because I probably won't say it again ever. I love you. That shit its painful let me help. "She held out her hand.

"How do I help him? We're different Shay."

"Let him live with it for a bit." She takes the keys kissing Liv's cheek and then she's gone.

-/-/=/-/-

They go home to a house empty of their child and for the first time since they met they go to bed without a word. They barely touch.

Kelly waits until Liv is asleep to turn over and look at her. If her eyes are closed he can't see pain in them. He picks up her limp hand holding it. He presses his lips to her palm before getting up and walking into Klaire's room.

He opens the door knowing it will be like ripping off a band aid. Every picture, toy, diaper and baby appliance is stuffed into the room. As though if it's out of sight it's out of mind but that's not at all how it works. He picks up a tiny cloth doll. Klaire's first baby. Liv had said, he guessed every girl had one. Klaire mostly chewed on it. He collapses into the rocker. Tears flooding his eyes. The pain was consuming. He'd done this to them He was wrong. She wasn't their child. She belonged to a thoughtless girl like some devalued trinket.

_/-/-/

Five days later.-

They go back to work because they're a doctor and a firefighter and the world doesn't stop because theirs is crumbling.

Aside from a few words here and there they haven't and just flat out don't talk. "Kelly can you talk about it yet?" She asks quietly sititng by the sink eating cereal as he stares at her over the rim of his coffee cup.

"What's to talk about Olivia? She's gone." He said shortly. Coldly.

"How you feel?" She pushes.

"I'm fucking pissed. I gotta go to work." He slams down his cup sweeping past her.

"Be care-"She starts,

He turns back cutting her off. "How about we go one day without you saying that stupid fucking platitude. It doesn't work it's not some damn talisman that'll keep me from burning to death you get that right?" he walked out rushing down the stairs and slamming the door as Liv dissolved into tears.

-/-/-/-/-

"You're a damn idiot!" Shay slapped Kelly upside the head. "You told her the little ritual she does every day to do what she can to keep you safe is stupid? That was mean! You're not mean Kelly, you're an ass to end all asses but you aren't a mean prick." She smacked him again. "Quick question boys your wives and girlfriends all do little things to keep you safe and to keep them from going crazy right? Are you dumb enough to disrespect their demonstrations of faith and belief in your skill? If no please tell Kelly why the fuck not before I let my woman strangle him." Shay Sais glaring at Kelly and looking to the men gathered in the bay.

"Mostly it's mean." Casey said.

"And really bad luck." Herrmann added.

They have back to back calls that night. Herrmann wakes Kelly up from his twenty minute nap. "You're going to call her and fix this right now because you jinxed us all." He hands him a phone.

"You're really gonna stand there while I talk to my wife?" He clarified rubbing sleeping from his eyes.

"Yes I am. Should I dial for you too?"

He sighs as He dials putting her on speaker she answers on the first ring like she's terrified and he feels bad. "Olivia Severide speaking. Talk fast I'm a busy lady unless something is wrong with my husband then I want every detail and his vitals."

"Nothing's wrong Liv I'm fine."

"Then why're you calling from the firehouse and not your cell?" She asked confused.

"It's the one Herrmann handed me." He confesses.

"Hi Livvy!"

"Uh Hi Herrmann." She said a little discombobulated.

"Listen babe, I'm sorry for what I said this morning I was wrong and I didn't mean it." He said.

"Oh you mean the stupid fucking platitude I won't be saying anymore because it does nothing and means nothing to you? That? You're sorry for that? Good to know, it'd help if I thought you meant it and weren't being forced into doing the right thing like some first grader. All because Herrmann thinks he's jinxed. You wanna be mean for no reason other than I was the one in your eye line so can I kiss that stupid fucking platitude goodbye. I'm done for today. Goodnight I love you don't fucking die." She hung up.

Herrmann whistled low. "You're in the dog house brother I've been married twenty years and pissed Cin off a ton but she's never screamed don't fucking die at me. "

"I hurt her feelings..I just-never mind." He sputters.

"No What? Talk to me Kelly ya gotta talk to somebody and it can't be her now so out with It." Hermann pushes leaning on Kelly's desk.

Kelly sits up resting his elbows on his knees staring at his booted feet. "I don't hurt her feelings. I just don't. Liv has a hard life. Everything is hard, it takes sixteen extra steps to do anything but she does it." He looks up at Herrmann, "I mean hell she's a doctor. She wants to fix this but we're in too much pain. I did this, I said she was ours and I honestly thought… it sounds stupid." He said scrubbing a hand down his face.

"Say it anyway." Herrmann keeps pushing.

"You know when people say they heard God? Not like Joan of Arc crazy, hearing God, but like in your heart or whatever?"

"I'm a devout catholic so yeah." He smiled a little.

"I heard God, something tell me she was our child and now she's just gone."

"Maybe she still is. Not so sound hokey but pray about it."

"The last time I prayed I thought Livvy might be dead." He confesses.

"People don't pray near enough in praise but do it anyway,"

"For what?" Kelly asked.

"For Klaire, not that you get her back but that she's happy and healthy. That she has a good life. Tell her good bye because it's the only way the pain stops and you help Liv with hers rather than biting back at her." Hermann answers and Kelly nods.

"That's the thing about being a parent, you don't pray for your wants, your needs, you pray for them. It's the mark of a good father." Herrmann finished and walked out.

Kelly picks up the phone to redial Livvy to apologize properly. The alarm goes off. "Fuck."

-/-/-

Shay rolls in with a badly burned kid. "Jesus Leslie, "Liv swore. "Call burn unit, ninety percent…third and fourth degrees."

"Boarding school fire, Kelly missed him the first time. Found him doing secondary."

"Oh god." Her stomach drops.

-/-/-

Four Days later.

They're still not talking and Liv cries at work every day.

Liv's phone rings as she's in the supply closet for the singular crying jag she allows herself a day.

"Hello. "She said sucking back her tears.

"Olivia, hey sweet heart."

She exhales a breath. "Hey Benny."

"So I heard I was going to be a first time Grandpa until she got taken back. That's a really tough break."

She nods even though he can't see it. "You could say that."

"So how's Kelly he won't return mine or Katie's calls."

"I wished I could tell you Benny but he's shut me out and when we do talk we scream at one another. I scream he stands there. There was a fire and an unfortunate turn of events concerning a child. He blames me. I mean I did scream "Don't fucking die" then hung up. He was distracted and-"

"You are not responsible. Kelly has to compartmentalize on the job. He knows that. The fact that he couldn't is no one's fault. You check your shit at the door sometimes you can't." he advises as the veteran fireman he is.

"Shay said let him be I can't anymore, he's impatient and so damn stoic it's like talking to a wall. I need my guy back." She stares at the door.

"Shove it in his face and force him to deal. He's like me you have to push us when we're emotionally shut down. Do it and don't back down. You won't lose him he loves you but if he doesn't deal he will lose you and we both know it."

"What if it pushes him further away? "She said voice sounding small even to her own ears.

"Sweetie, you can't get much farther apart than taking my advice. Don't hold back, I promise he loves you enough to stop and listen."

"Thanks Benny."

-/-/-/-

Her mom brings her goulash for lunch and at the smell her stomach churns in a bad way. "Ok mom, I can't eat this. What's wrong with me I love your goulash but just looking at it makes me wanna puke." She shoves the bowl away.

"You go on up and have your blood drawn for a pregnancy test." Her mother orders.

"What? No I= I forgot to put in my birth control ring." She said cocking her head in speculation.

Her eyes fill with tears. "Livvy baby, its okay you can do this."

She shakes her head. "Kelly and I we're not good right now."

"Then you better get good babe."

"I'm trying. So what's Viv's deal?" She eats the garlic bread her mom had brought.

"She's staying with us because Shay invited her ex to temporarily move in."

"You have got to be kidding me?" Liv said in shock her eyes growing big.

"Nope."

Liv's phone rings. "Olivia Severide, okay yes, you want to confirm the delivery date of what?"

She hangs up. "Call Erin Mama you're going to need to bail me out of jail. Kelly bought a bike. I'm going beat his handsome head in."

-/-/-

She rolls right up into the middle of the bay and yells at him. "Were you going to tell me you did this? Or just hide it up here and hope I didn't notice the huge chunk of money missing from the joint account?"

"I was going to tell you once I got it running." He said tightly glancing up at her. He should probably say this is neither the time nor place but she's never had that look in her eye. He's not exactly sure he'd be heard.

"Oh ok, that makes doing it without consulting me perfectly okay because you were just going to casually mention over dinner. "Hey baby, I bought a death trap I hope that's okay!" Her eyebrows wing up and her hard expression is daring him to speak but he doesn't and she just steam rolls on. Any other time he'd find it sexy.

"Guess what it's not okay! You're supposed to talk to me about stuff like this. We're married and in case you've forgotten, you are supposed to tell me "This is how I'm dealing with losing Klaire and what happened at work. Then maybe I could get the death rates for these awful things out of my head if I knew it was helping you! I don't know what's going on with you because you don't talk about anything. You have said half a dozen words to me in a week. You're shut up tighter than a nun in an adult book store!"

Shay laughs. "That was funny."

"Why should I talk? That prick Holmby obviously has your bases covered if not more." By the time the statement leaves his mouth he regrets it. Tears swim in her eyes and a slap he wasn't expecting lands hard across his face. His cheek stings but he remains silent.

"You're an asshole Kelly! He caught me crying in the on call room and I went home early he texted to make sure I was okay. Which is more than you've done lately but if you read it then you know I didn't respond and I told him it was disrespectful and not to do it again because I was married." She answered.

"Why does he have your number?"

"Why does Renee Royce have your number? Two can play your game and I promise you'll be on the losing end. You have fucked most of Chicago but I trust you anyway! You really wanna start ripping skeletons outta that closet Kell? If we do my trust may no longer be a given. I know you miss Klaire so do I-"

"You didn't want her in the first place. "He shouts and the way she goes pale and makes a strangled sound tears into him but he doesn't show it.

"That's totally unfair I was scared. I wanted her how dare you. I am in just as much pain as you but you can't save everyone Kelly and we can't get her back. Lean on me or don't and see what happens. "She rolls away wiping at her tears.

"What's that supposed to mean? "He asks suddenly becoming very afraid he'd pushed her one step to far away.

"It means you're my husband if you'd like it to stay that way you better start acting like him because damned if I know who the fuck you are right now. "She shouts over her shoulder.

"Your wife she a natural redhead ain't she? Hot damn." Newhouse said.

He looks over at Shay. "Don't be stubborn quit hiding you love her more than I've seen you love anybody ever."

"Yeah."

"And Kelly? Delete her number. It hurts her feelings I promise you. You deserved that slap; don't let her apologize for it."

"Damn it! I accused her of cheating didn't I?"

"Yup, that's why she almost knocked your head off your shoulders." Chief butted in.

"It's not a promise but a fact." He murmured and scrubbed a hand down his face. "Goddamn it which way did she go?"

"Getting in her truck. If you hurry you can head off her calling the lynch mob we call family. I'm serious Owen hates you. Go!"Shay prompts.

"Baby wait!" He shouts trying to catch up to her.

"Leave me alone should be easy you've done it all week. "She spits out over her shoulder.

"Ok I get you're fired up still."

He blocks her in against the truck door one hand on either side of her head. "You're a regular Einstein Kelly. You called me a whore and said I didn't want my daughter you can shove it." She tries to shove him away he doesn't budge.

"I didn't call you a whore!" He said totally mystified.

"You backhandedly accused me of breaking my wedding vows it's the same thing!" her breath hitches to hold back tears and he feels like dirt.

She looked away from him off into the distance. "I thought about it, just talking to him because god knows crying alone in the supply closet every day is really lonely and I feel like someone died and you just sucked it up and went on."

"I'm sorry Baby," she turns away more when he tries to hug her. "No Livvy, come here. Look I'm sorry I mean that. I'm really sorry." He gathers her to him finally and holds on tight.

"She's everywhere and nowhere. She's stuffed into that room." She said muffled into the fabric of his jacket.

"We'll tear it all down. "He said softly swallowing back his own tears.

"Her name is on the wall." She said it so flatly if his heart wasn't already broken it'd have done so again.

"I know, I'll paint over it."

"I'll do it. You named her. I'm scared for you Kelly, I've never seen you this way I'm afraid of it all making you reckless." She backs away a bit to look at him. She wipes a tear trailing down his cheek.

He holds her face in his hands. "I am by nature slightly reckless but nothing will ever make me so reckless that my end goal isn't coming home to you okay? I'm sorry I stopped talking to you it's my default. I'm all Severide and we don't talk we grunt, and sulk and fight fires." He waits until she nods in understanding and laughs a little. "I've never met anyone who talks as much or as intelligently as you do. You were right and probably always will be. I shut you out and made choices without you I'm sorry. I know you wanted her and were afraid the worst would happen and it did." He took a breath and waited a beat in thought." I'm mad some little girl just dropped her in my arms and took her back like we were baby sitters, I'm mad at myself that my head wasn't clear because I missed her and I messed up big time here and missed that kid! I'm livid that I left you so alone that someone thought they could take advantage and almost did. "

He kissed her forehead. "I love you so much that if I think about it too long I get a little sick. Severide's don't love the way I love you we just don't. If you walked away from us because I can't admit I was wrong I'd never forgive myself.

I'm going to kiss you now mostly because you're really hot when you're mad at me."

"But you're all greasy."

"Deal with it."

"How'd you get-Mm" the kiss was bordering on indecent. It was the kind of kiss that reminded her they hadn't had sex all week. "Kelly we're in the firehouse parking lot." She reminds him her words falling on to his lips.

"Don't care. We can fit in the backseat or go to my quarters. Either way it's happening now-ish." He commands kissing her again.

"People will know!"

"I don't care. Sex is a form of communication. For instance if I bite you just a little there …" He nips at her neck. "Your brain tells your body it's turned on. Right?" he breathes near her ear. "And if I really want to? I can make you come without ever touching you…." Its half threat half promise and it does interesting things to her body…

"Kelly you aren't playing fair and we're out in the open." She whines but voices his thick.

"Unlock the truck." The command is lowly whispered in her ear and leaves no room for argument though she tries anyway.

"Kelly…" he takes the key fob from her. He presses the unlock button. "We can't…" he already has the door open.

"Oh… I'm gonna prove you so very wrong." He tosses her into the back seat as she laughs. He follows her in as she scoots down the seat on her hands. He leans into kiss her slamming the door behind him.

"Glad I paid extra for the really dark tinted windows." She said smirking.

-/-/-/-

There's a desperate hunger to it this time as Kelly rips at her clothes in the hurried need to touch. "Off…" she shoves at his jacket. Somehow he'd gotten her top and bra off but was still fully dressed himself. "Too many clothes."

He stops in pulling off her pants and sheds the jacket. She yanks his shirt over his head. "I'm still mad you bought the thing but you looked really hot trying to fix it." She kisses own his shoulder as he shoves down his pants and pushes aside her underwear to plant himself inside her body. She gives a startled little grunt but stays still as he settles in.

"I'll take it…" He pants over her. As he rocks forward into her, she hooks a finger into the chain of his St. Florian medal to pull him into her kiss. He puts his hands in her hair tugging lightly and playing with it.

"Hey your hands are dirty….uhhnn never mind…don't care…just keep…'

He rolled his hips a particular way. "Doing that?" he said laughing. "Your hair it's my thing…gotta touch…I'll wash it later I like doing it."

"You're… I can't think of a big word now."

"Note to self Liv's brain shuts up when properly turned on and fried by good sex."

"Well we haven't had sex in God knows how long."

"Seventy eight days..." Kelly responds.

"OW! Wait I'm on the seatbelt.

"Hang on to me."

"Why?"

"We're about to test how well your windows are tinted." He wraps her around turns and swings his legs down to sit up. She's sitting in his lap facing the back window.

"How'd you do that?"

"Had a few car quickies."

He thrust upward stopping her higher brain function.

Afterward they sit staring at one another. "I know I'm anti quickie but damn…"

"Changing your mind one roll in the hay at a time." He kissed her neck. "You liked that position…I'll remember."

She moved to lie back down taking him with her. "Yes, I have a rolodex in my head of things you like."

They lay there crammed on the seat together. She turns to look at him and almost falls off the seat. "Cars are not great for afterglow." He said reaching out to grab her. He pulls her into his chest.

"I was being petty about the be careful thing I'm sorry. I do realize it's just words. I just- I just love you that's all and I'm scared every time you leave. I really love you, so much more than anybody before and I didn't, I still don't know how to help you this stuff."

"Don't be sorry I took your thing and made it nothing because I was in a bad mood. I'm the one who's sorry baby."

"We've got to talk when life hits us in face Kelly we can't freeze each other out when things get rough."

"I know tell me about the boarding house boy." He asked.

"He's ten, it doesn't look good baby. Everything's burned even his lungs and airway."

"Jesus." He mutters tears stinging his eyes.

"Kell, if it were one of your guys what would you say to them?" her fingertip brushes his bottom lip and kisses it before answering.

"That the building was huge, too many rooms not enough time, the fire was smart advanced quick. That short of thermal imagers we'd never have found him on the first pass."

"Then tell yourself that for me please."

"Doesn't make it easier."

She shook her head and her hair tickles his chin. "No, my first month as a first year intern I had trouble with intubations. I was tubing this man with anaphylaxis, my instructor was a very by the book doctor. Believed in doing it until you mastered it. I tried normal intubating but I knew the guy was too swollen for visible cords I wanted to do a thoracotomy and trache the guy but my teacher insisted on scoping .I took too long even after the tracheotomy. He had permanent brain damage. He no longer speaks or walks and has the mental capacity of a ten month old. If I had defied my superior and followed my gut. Well He'd have a different life. You did you job baby, but it will always have its causalities no matter what you do."

"How do you do that Olivia?" He asked softly and kissed the top of her head.

"Do what?" She asked in confusion he only calls her Olivia if he's irked.

"Keep me going."

"My magic trick."

"Mom thinks I'm pregnant. I could be it fits. "She confesses.

"Really? Seriously? How we haven't since the explosion we were too wrapped up in Klaire."

"Kelly it only takes once baby. Do you want this Kelly? I mean we just lost Klaire and…"

He kissed her. "Of course I want anything you want Livvy." He kissed her again. "They can't take this one away."

"Kelly it's risky."

"Our lives are risky, baby just be happy and shut up and kiss."

"Kell! She said becoming miffed.

"Lovingly shut up. Lovingly.

"We need to fix Vivianne and Leslie."

"We need to go for round two." He mutters sucking on the soft flesh of her neck.

"Kelly I'm serious! Viv's at my parents because Devon is living with Shay." That stops him in his hickey trail making tracks.

"What the fuck?"He looks at her.

"I don't know. I just know what the Mama said." She shrugs.

"I thought they were solid. Like as solid as I've ever seen Shay."

"So did Vivi, just talk to her and see where her head's at. You should get dressed and get outta the truck before the boys start making weird and nasty bets."

"Oh they already are." He kissed her and sat up. "Just get out of the truck with your head high." He pulled on his shirt.

"Have you seen my bra?"

He stands up to pluck her bra off the parking brake. "There ya go."

"So I just act like I'm not a parking lot sex slut?" she said side eying him and shimmying into her purple bra.

He hands her scrub top. "Yep. Phil and Bill look good in that bra."

"You named my boobs?" He nods. "You're totally unrepentant."

"Never be sorry for good sex baby. Bad sex? Ill-advised sex? Yes but never for the good stuff." He buttoned his pants. He watched her meticulously dress and redo her hair. He leaned over and kissed the back of her neck. "I love you."

"Wait why do they have male names?"

"I was drunk when I named them."

"Well re name them!"

"Show em' to me!"

"Go away!"

He laughed. "I love you so much Liv. You make me happy."

She smiled he was incredibly lovey dovey after sex especially for a guy. "I love you too. Boob Names aside." He brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Wait for me to do the test?"

"It's just a blood draw Kelly but sure, I'll wait."

He gets out of the truck and helps her into her chair and loaded into the driver's seat. The alarm goes off. "Go! I'm fine. Be careful."

"Will do baby. Love you." He leans in the window to kiss her. "Drive safe and have a good day babe. By the way you get bonus points for the nun crack that shit was funny."

He kisses her and runs back toward the squad truck.

-/-/-/-

Sometime later she texts him. "You need to drop by for Boden's wedding gift. Boarding school fire kid is looking better."

"Be by in ten."

He shows up at the nurse's station with a sheepish grin.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing…really… "He takes the daisy he had hidden behind his back. "But I did still this from an old lady's window box for you." He tucked it behind her ear.

"You stole from an old lady for me. It really is true love." She said laughing. She kissed him then handed him the gift bag. "Wanna go upstairs and do the blood draw with me real fast?"

"Sure what'd we get Chief? "He peers into the bag.

"I don't know Viv shopped for me."

-/-/-/-

"Hold my hand I hate this part." Liv said as she awaited the stick.

"My wife the doctor afraid of needles."

"Hold my hand or I'll punch you." She threatens.

He smiles and kisses her. "Mama Mara may be right."

"Stop it with the I did that, I'm so proud of myself smirk. We don't know anything yet. Although it is nice to see you so ebullient."

"That means happy." She answered his blank look.

"Thanks for the clarification baby. You're like living with the hot chick from Dawson's Creek, so damned wordy.

"Severide… Hermann needs us back at the house." Cruz radioed over.

"Can it wait five seconds?"

The needle and tubing slide out. "I'll have the results to you at days end Mrs. Severide."

"I'm all good baby. You can go." He kissed her hand. "Have fun at the wedding. If Viv shows up dance with her. She's sad."

"Rather dance with you."He kissed her and got up. "See ya baby. No peeking."

"Nope. Bye Kell."

`-/-/-/-

Olivia is paged to ER reception and Althea Botwin stands with Klaire in a carrier.

"The mother couldn't do it, she's yours she's a ward of the state until your papers go through and the final home check but she's yours. Her mother asked I take her to her mother."

Liv lifts Klaire from the carrier trying not to completely lose it and bawl in the middle of her work place.

"Hiya baby girl…" she kisses her cheeks and hugs her close. "How you been?" she kissed her head and the girl fusses at being messed with. "I'll stop I'm sorry! I'm so happy to see you Klaire. Let's call Daddy."

The phone rings and rings but she gets no answer. Her text message dings. "You alright on a call. I will call when I'm done. Gotta go!"

She drops the baby off in the daycare and goes back to work until she is pulled aside by her intern for that day Keeling. "What's MAYDAY?"

"Emergency, Police, or Fire?"

"Why? What is it?"

"If you want me to teach you anything ever again you'll answer my question. Which department fire or cop?"

"Fire, the chief for house 51 called one in for his entire company, rescue, truck, and EMT. Everyone's acting crazy… I don't-"

"How long ago Keeling?"

"Why?"

"Mayday means my husband is trapped. How long ago?"

"Three minutes maybe?"

"How far was engine behind them? It halls water to the fire. How long?"

"Five minutes."

She goes to the radio. "Who was last in chief? Who had the farthest to go to get to safety Boden?"

"Olivia…"

"Don't screw with me Wallace, not now." She demands.

"I'm his boss I can't divulge-"

"The fuck you can't if Benny asked you'd answer? I'm his wife! I know my husband, he goes last to keep track of his guys. Or he leads them in which was it?"

"He was last in of my firemen. Gabi and Shay were last before the explosion."

"Explosion!"

"I had last radio contact with Kelly. He was headed to clear the third floor."

"I'll be right there to help."

"They won't let you. You are Severide's wife its conflict of interest. I need you stay there, just stay there. Do that for me okay?"

"Okay. I didn't mean to be rude." Her apologies

"You can't be married to that man without some backbone its fine. Keep the radio. I'll let you know as soon we get him out."

"Affirmative sir."

She goes to Arata to help with the emergency response coordination of the hospital but when she rolls in to the kids waiting area the sand table in the corner by the door stops her in her tracks as she remembers making sand bottles when he'd asked her out. They had been inseparable ever since, she had gotten everything she ever had the guts to hope for in Kelly She refused to give that up. She feels nauseated and faint.

"You tried to prepare me for this but I wasn't ready. I'm not ready Kelly, please. "She prayed to the bright walls of the empty room.

She sits perfectly still and waits.

AN: Please don't hate me but this is it until next season! I can do one shots of things you didn't see or would like to but story wise I'm trapped until season three thank you so much for the overwhelming response to this I have enjoyed every minute of writing it! Thanks!-mm


	18. Chapter 18

Liv sits shaking and rocking back and forth in her seat in a corner of the waiting room. She dials Erin.

"You've reached Detective Erin Lindsay please leave a message I will get back to you as soon as possible. If this is Livvy Severide leave it at the beep bitch!"

"If Hank hears that it's your ass girl, change it. I need you to call me back a building exploded today Kelly was inside…" her voice breaks. "I'm scared, so please call me back."

She grips the radio but it's nothing but static and the occasional garbled command. "Don't be dead Kelly, Don't be dead, don't be dead, don't be dead…I…please baby don't be dead. I can't be by myself… I can't breathe…I can't…"

"Livvy." Says a voice she knows too well.

She looks over and there's Carver. "I really can't breathe help me." She said fighting off hysteria.

"You're panicking honey…"

She shook her head, "my husband might be dead… I deserve a good panic attack…"

"I'm going to touch you Olivia."

"Kelly will punch you."

"He's welcome to do it…"

He held her face in his hands. "Breathe and tell me what you need."

"My husband. A beer, my mom. "She took a hitching breath.

"Carver? You're smart what're the odds he'll survive?"

He smiled at her genuinely and for the first in ages she remembered why she'd once loved him. "You survived didn't you baby, there's gotta be a reason."

"Don't be nice Carve."

"Why?"

"Because you didn't value her heart enough to suit me the first time she gave it to you. Leave my child alone, she's in a fragile place now you don't get to nudge and flirt your way back into her graces." Her father answered from behind them.

"Daddy." She jerked her head to look at him and Carver dropped his hands and left her.

"Ollie girl."

"He was just trying to help Dad. I loved Carver, I'm in love with Kelly and I always will be. What're you doing here?"

"Bought a scanner after the hospital explosion. I heard the call go out."

"How'd he sound?" She sniffled and glanced sideways at him.

"It was garbled, hard to follow but he was calm. He wasn't afraid."

"Good that's good, I always thought I'd know if he was dead? Like some martial mind link. It's not that way. I don't know. "

"Tell me things you do know." He reached over and held her shaking hand.

"I know I love him and he loves me, I know that he's going to fight for me because he said he'd never be so reckless that his end goal wasn't coming home to me. I know Kelly is smart and strong and knows what he's doing. I know that if he dies it's because his body gave him no choice. I know we got Klaire back today and that I might be pregnant, I know I don't want to do it on my own. I know that I want Kelly alive at all costs."

He kissed her temple. "Keep all the good stuff in your head and shove out the bad. Let's go get my sweet Klaire from day care."

"Where's everyone else?" She asked as the rolled toward Employee Childcare

"On their way."

"Viv?" She looked up as Cole pushed.

"Mom's getting her."

When she rolled into the daycare the hush that falls over the place let her know that news is traveling the hospital. She's literally the only doctor married to a fire fighter in the whole hospital at least to her knowledge.

"He's fine." She whispered to herself avoiding their eyes as she picked up Klaire. "Hey little love."

She turned wheeling directly into her father who lit up at the sight of Klaire for a second it all lifts.

"Kelly's going to be so happy when he sees her." He said

Liv chokes back a sob. "I tried to tell him, but he was busy. He doesn't know we have her, that he was right. He has to know he wasn't wrong, that his heart was right." She wipes at the tears dripping down her face.

"He'll know." He takes the baby from her. "Mom texted, Viv needs us."

-/-/-/-

When Vivi sets her eyes on her sister and her puffy tear stained face she assumes the worst and crumples in herself like old newspaper. "Oh God!"

"No, ViviAnne, No! I don't know anything yet." Liv rushes over and folds her in an embrace. "We don't know yet, Hang on okay."

"How we will know?" Viv asked with a shaky voice.

"The Chaplin and Chief will tell us, but don't go there okay? Kelly says never go there unless it's there in my face." She answered while rubbing Viv's back.

"I love her you know? We were fighting but I love her."

"I know, Viv I know you do." She kissed Vivi's the top of Viv's bent head.

"I don't want the last things we said to be hateful Livvy. I- I will never forgive myself."

"People fight Viv; life doesn't stop because her job is dangerous. You can't live in what if's and maybe's. You need to have a little faith; you'll make up and be fine… I promise. Shay's to stubborn to die." She advised and Vivi began pulling it back together.

"Easy for you to say you Kelly made up. I heard major car nookie." She said and Liv can't help but laugh as her father looks sick.

"Only because we stopped fighting against each other and fought for each other. You want her? Fight! Don't roll over and let that Devon bitch have what's yours. Stand up and take her back."

Vivi looked over Liv's shoulder. "OH my God Klaire!"

"Yup!" Liv grinned widely.

"Gimmie Daddy!" Vivi demanded snatching the girl from him.

Liv smiles glad Klaire can provide even temporary distraction. Mother sits down next to her. "I want Kelly Mom, this is torture."

"When you were first injured you got really severe pneumonia they put you in the ICU, I could only stay for fifteen minute in intervals every hour. I'd sit outside your room pray those other 45 minutes would pass faster just so I could touch you again."

"What'd you do?" She looked to her mother.

"I waited. You'll get to touch him again."

-/-/-/-/-

All of Liv's family having arrived, they're sitting around talking.

"Well obviously this Devon chick missed the lezzy memo, just because you licked it once don't mean it's yours. That just means you licked it and she maybe liked it. You lick it and gives you house keys then it's yours. Bitch is lettin' you sleep on her couch she didn't give you no key move the fuck on." Owen said as they all stare at him. "I may have binge watched orange is new black." He explained

"What is the heterosexual equivalent of "I licked it therefore its mine "Is it like, doggy style or letting them come on face level of commitment?" Sarah Anne asked. They all turn slowly and stare.

"What kinda freaky shit do you let Lang do to you?" Liv asked in slight shock.

"It's the quiet ones, y'all I'd pick a mouse over a lion any day." Lang said.

"But to be fair I think the straight people's lick rule is called marriage. At least I hope it is, because if it's anal I'm out." Liv said shivering slightly.

"Why though it's not like you have full sensation. We all know you let Kelly do whatever he pleases. "Rain adds.

"Yeah we heard about your parking lot sexcapade." Liam said standing up and doing a little dance "Getcha some…go on get it…."

"Pull enough weird objects from people's rectums and you'd be anti-anal too."

"What kind of weird stuff?" Owen leaned forward.

"Would you all please stop? I did not raise low brow conversationalists." Cole said.

"Was it rectum or anal that got you Daddy?" Liv teased.

"No, Wait Livvy I know, Dad's been watching sex sent me to ER again. Let me guess? Close call old man?" Owen teased.

"Besides sex is universal not low brow." Vivi defended.

"Is having sex in the ER better or worse than sex sending you to the ER?"Liv asked.

"Have you had sex here? Like in a supply closet like something on Grey's anatomy? Like the time Izzy tells Alex to take his pants off all bossy like." Rainey asked

"Stop it before your Daddy dies of embarrassment." Mara said.

"And you said you'd never stifle our self-expression." Vivi pointed out.

"Shame on you Mommy." Liv adds. "Seriously let's stop before I have track down some Nitro pills for Dad."

The radio crackles in Liv's hand. "Olivia Severide Report!"

"Yes sir,"

"We've started digging out debris I haven't reached anyone yet. But we're digging."

"Thank for the update."

"Not a problem after all, I've seen you pissed at your man. Updates are easier on me."

-/-/-/-

"I was told to rush these results to you Ma'am." An orderly hands Liv an envelope and her stomach drops with too many things to name.

"What's wrong? "Lang asked catching a look at her face.

"Are you dying?" Grady's head pops up behind her, "Because if you die? No more Kelly and no Kelly means no car. I like the car and I love you but I really like his car."

"Bronwyn Grady Grayne!" Mara admonished.

"What it's a totally valid question a building fell on her, she was in a fire and her hospital exploded!"

"I'm not dying, though Kelly would appreciate your value of his car."

"Then what's the paper?"

"Pregnancy test results."

"Eww you had sex. That's just gross and wrong." He slumps in his chair dejected.

"Well look!" Rainey interrupts.

"I can't."

"Why not, afraid it's negative? It couldn't hurt I mean Kelly could use some good news."

"I can't because I promised Kelly we would look together."

"I think there are extenuating circumstances."

"It's the last thing he said to me Rain, no peeking, it's the last thing he said! I will honor it now, just shut up!" She yells and then feels bad when Rainey blanches palely. "I'm so sorry Rain I just..."

"It's okay; you're scared I'm sorry I pushed." Rainey walks over as Vivi pulls Liv into a hug.

The tears Liv had pulled back and sucked in break free in harsh sobs. "Shhh. Its okay, Livvy." Lang leaned over kissing the crown of her head. "Breathe Sis, just breathe."

"It's not okay Langston! A building exploded with him in it! He was last in and on the third floor! He had no time to get to safety! None of them did! It's not okay! If he's dead and I have to raise two kids less than a year a part by myself? I'll lose my mind. And Erin's not here! She bailed on me for Annie because Charlie is back!" She shouted.

"She what? Because of who?" Owen asked eyes going dark.

"Shit O! I wasn't supposed to say anything."

"Well you did! So fucking explain it to me. He's not meant to be here and we both know it. What he has on her Livvy its bad. She didn't want to tell you because if she told you as medical professional you'd have to tell or risk losing your cortication."

"He's back and has Annie over a barrel about the kid and Hank doesn't know. At least last we talked he didn't. Sometimes I wish she'd never met that bitch Annie."

"I'm going to find her." He started stomping off.

"Owen I don't think it's your place too-"Lindsey Owen's wife interrupts.

"Yes it is, she obligated to more than just Annie. Sometimes she forgets. I will remind her."

-/-/-/

There is loud banging at her door. "Erin open up!"

"Are you drunk?" She said exasperated.

"No!"

"I'm not having sex with you!"

"For God's Sake Erin open the fucking door. It's about Liv!" He growled out.

The door swung open so fast the door hit the wall with a smack that reverberated through the room.

"What is it Owen using your Sister as an in is old and tacky." She crossed her arms over chest and waited impatiently.

"The fact you think so very little of me makes me wonder if you ever loved me at all, or Livvy for that matter." He shot back.

"Whatever is wrong? I hope it is worthy of that last remark. You know I love your sister."

"She's tried getting ahold of you. She's holding vigil in the hospital room, she's waiting to see if Kelly's dead. She's earning her fire wife stripes in a lot of ways today."

"What happened?" She said grabbing her jacket.

"Another explosion, I'm really tired of shit blowing up her life."

"I'll-" Erin starts.

"Bring her, don't bring her, I don't care like I said Liv has earned your love and attention too."

"Owen!"

"She yelled at Lang. She never yells at Lang, you know how intertwined they get. She's hanging on by a thread, Viv is in fucking pieces and Livvy got Klaire back today and can't be happy about it,"

-/-/-/-

I can feel you Corley. What is it?" Liv said turning to look at the second year resident.

"Arata said…." He started only to be cut off.

"He said to not bother me you did the opposite. For good reason I hope?"

"School bus versus semi."

"Good reason I'll be right there." He took off her wedding rings. "Repin me Dad?"

Her dad does so quickly and she rolls off but not before jamming her hands underneath an automatic hand sanitizer. "Push me and run it down for me." She demands of the youngest doctor twisting her hair into a bun.

"At least 10 critical, sixteen with major injuries, four minor … Driver had a heart attack."

"Never an easy day, never… let's do it." She muttered,

"Yes Ma'am."

"Who's on grunt duty?"

"New interns why?"

"Alert all major medical specialties in peds. Cardio, blood bank. Neuro, Ortho. Then find smartest of the intern's park them at the emergency entrances and tell lakeside to notify me if anyone from fifty one shows up there. First one to see my husband and to come get me gets to help on the next general Peds surgery."

"Can you do that? Bribe them?"

"I just did it Corley. Go."

For a while she gets wrapped in her work and she can breathe. Once that chaos dies down she finds herself in the chapel.

"Where God meets Doctor?"

"Hey Erin." She said tiredly glancing at the cross on the chapel wall.

"Hey beautifully brave bestie." Erin sat next to her in a pew.

"I don't feel brave I feel scared."

"Whatcha doin?"

"Praying and waiting and watching…" She held her phone up. "Liam posted our wedding video to his YouTube."

"Well play it then bitchy mcslut nuts." Erin said and Liv gave a startled laugh.

"You cursed creatively, in a church."

"This isn't…shit it's a church. Just hit play."

She hit play. "So you married into all this, what do you most look forward to Grayne hijinks aside?" Liam asked off camera and zoomed in on Kelly's lively smiling face.

"I look forward to all things Liv, I look forward to fixing the leaky sink and forgetting to take the trash out. I look forward to being the one to wake up beside you every morning. I look forward to fighting over baby names. I don't care what you say Cinder is a good name…" He paused tearing up. "I look forward to my life with you Olivia. I will never deserve you but I will keep trying, you've changed me in so many ways, I am gentler, kinder, I listen better because you always hear what I can't say. You are beyond beautiful to me. You are the smartest person I know. I trust you. You are my very best friend. Without you I'd be useless. I love you Boo! Ha got it in! We're gonna be happy Livvy." Kelly pauses to squat down and pick something up. "Josh wants to say hi. Say hi to your sister."

"Hi Blister."

"No, sister." Kelly corrected him and kissed his cheek.

Josh nodded. "Blister!"

Liv hits pause and looks at Erin. "We've…Erin why're you crying?"

"He loves you as you should be loved."

"Erin honey…."

Erin shook her head and wiped her eyes quickly. "'You shouldn't lose that is all."

"And if I do?" Liv looks up to the scriptures carved into the lectern.

"You won't."

"If I do?" She pushed.

"It's not happening."

They say the first year of marriage is hardest, look at all we've faced and we haven't hit the six month mark. If the worst happens don't let me drown promise me." She said staring Erin down.

"Yo! Seester!" Lang shouts. "Whoa church." He interrupted them.

"It says chapel what is wrong with you two! " Liv asked

"First waves headed in." He said

She rolled as fast as she could to the ER doors.

-/ /

AN: I had to break this up I hope you guys liked it. 51 crew appears next chapter. If you liked it review! I own nada but the Grayne's. -MM


	19. Chapter 19

When Kelly walked into the hospital searching her out the sense of relief that over took her was so massive she felt nasoueus. His eyes rest on her but he doesn't approach and she knew something was truly gravely wrong. She rolled forward "Kell, baby…" she grabbed his hand and tugged him to her a step. As they roll past with Mills and Shay.

Shay is being heavily worked on with heroic measures. "What happened Kelly?" She asked and she could hear Viv losing it behind her but her focus is solely on Kelly and getting him to look at her and register her face and the surroundings.

"Propane tanks and a open flame." He answered woodenly. They paged Carver over their heads. "That's not good." Kelly muttered.

"He's the best at what-" Klaire lets out an ear splitting scream between the rush of people and Vivi's hysteria she was frightened. Kelly's gaze whipped over to her. Confusion colors his face. "She's ours, they mother gave her back. She's ours. For real, you were right baby."

He choked back a sob and walked over to her and tried taking her from Mara. The baby girl shied away. "You're dirty sweetie, you don't look like her Daddy. Say her name." Mara offered gently.

"Hi Klairey, hi baby…" He said gently leaning down into her eye line. She smiled at him and for a singular moment the lead weight on his chest lifts off.

"Kelly are you hurt?" Liv asked.

"Ceiling debris fell on me, cut my arm but I'm fine. I shouldn't touch Klaire fiberglass."

"Come on let's get it cleaned and stitched. We won't go far just to exam three. Intern who's name I don't recall set me up in three."

-/-

In her haste to treat him she cut off his shirt. "Coulda taken it off Livvy." He joked softly and the urge to cry hits her hard its so unexpected and strong that she stopped and kissed the space between his shoulder blades. "I love you."

"I know. Ditto."

She hid her sly smile in his back. "okay then Swayze, I have to numb your shoulder cleaning these cuts may sting anyway."

"Alright. Do your thing hot doc." He tried for flirty but it fell flat.

It's clear to her that Kelly didn't really want to talk so she turned on the music in her phone. Stay With Me by Sam Smith pierced the silence. It helped balance her, and forget the storm she was in.

"I just realized it's the first time you've worked on me." He said quietly.

"No offense but let's hope it's the last, consider it payment for services rendered in saving my life." She retorted dryly.

"Best save I ever made." He paused. "She's dead Liv. She was dead before we left the warehouse." He said mechanically.

"Babe… you don't know that Carver's the best."

"Olivia, I know she is dead." He said firmly.

"Kelly don't give-" The sound of her sister screaming tears into the room cutting off her hopeful statement.

"Goddamn it!" Liv swore and threw a box of gloves across the room. Kelly simply dropped his head and sighed. "I have to finish this then we'll go." She whispered gathering her wits and going to work.

"Okay."

"I cut your shirt to pieces." She murmured.

He looks over his good shoulder at her. "My hoodie is in your locker from the last hospital dinner date. You were cold."

-/-/-

As Kelly went to get his hoodie with the help of an orderly. Liv slipped into to the room where Shay lay prone and lifeless.

The nurse looks up from removing her ET tube. "You shouldn't be in here Sev, She's family."

"She is, I still stay. get someone in here to clean up the blood" she picked a folded drape cloth from the sink counter. She pours hot water into a basin and carries it over to Shay's body. "I'm going to get you lookin' good for your girl." She began wiping away the blood covering her head and fine boned face. "She's going to be okay, and so will Kelly." The nurse removing chest tubes and the cleaning crew stare at her but she continues. The tears she's holding in push at the backs of her eyes and burn. "I really do love him you know, He'll be a different kinda whole but he will be again. You have my word. Vivi she'll rise to the challenge of life but you knew that didn't you, Rest easy in paradise my friend." She kissed her already cool forehead.

She covered her for modesty's sake and crossed her arms over her stomach.

Liv takes a deep breath and waits for the others to leave before letting in Vivianne and Kelly.

She lets in Vivi and the woman gets one look at the person she loves and crumbles like sandcastles hit by waves she leaned into their father sobbing uncontrollably. " I'm sorry baby so sorry, please… I was jealous and afraid I'm sorry Leslie…please forgive me..I didn't, I didn't mean it. I love you."

The sight of her sobbing heartbroken sister is too much to take so she looks away and there's Kelly next to her. He wiped at the tears Liv hadn't known she'd cried. She takes his hand and then he anchors his other hand on the back of her neck. He kissed the top of her head. "I love you. I'm sorry baby." She whispered there was nothing else she knew to say.

"I know me too." He said lips pressed to her forehead.

As her father lead Vivi out Liv looked closely at Kelly's face. The pain was evident but she still wanted to protect him from it and save him the shattering heart break of true and unrelenting loss. "Do you want me to stay?"

"I- no, baby I don't." She nodded, kissed him let go of his hand and rolled out closing the door behind her. As he pulled the curtain closed Erin pulled Liv into a hug. She sobbed silently hanging on tightly to Erin. "I can't help either of them. I can't heal it Erin."

"That ain't your job Livvy, its God's just be there."

-/-/-

Liv does exactly as Erin says, she's there through funeral arrangements, the funeral and the aftermath Vivi lives in the spare bedroom emotionally unprepared for the apartment's absence of Shay. Vivi leans on her as if she's a human life preserver and Kelly does the polar opposite and no matter what Liv tries she can't reach him. The only time he smiles is when he's in the presence of Klaire and even that is forced and rare. There is little involvement or joy on Kelly's part concerning her pregnancy, it would sting if Kelly wasn't so broken instead it makes her sad.

The fire guys keep their distance so Liv fights the current on her own.

-/-/-

Casey goes to Severide's place hoping he'd be there. His car's there with a car seat base in the back but his bike is gone. When he knocks on the door Vivi answers.

"Vivianne…" Casey said kind of unsure as to what to say to Shay's former partner.

"Hey Matt need something?" She said leaning on the door and he can smell alcohol seeping from her pores.

"To speak with Severide."

"ain't here bailed for the week. Ask my sister she's upstairs."She pointed with her thumb over shoulder and moved to let him in.

"It's good to see you Viv."

"Uh huh, I bet." She said sarcastically turned and walked into Liv's library.

-/-

"Hey Liv," She stands with the aide of her chair doing the dishes. Klaire sits in the floor at Liv's feet. Liv jumps at the sound of his voice.

"Matty." She said simply and there's an edge to it.

"She's getting big." He commented about Klaire.

"First time you been by in six week I imagine she's a lot bigger." Liv turned the chair around without sitting Matt knew she wasn't meant to do that but doesn't point it out. "Do you need something?" She said arms crossed over her chest. Indignation on her face and wearing wrinkled blue scrubs she reminds him of Hallie in this moment.

"Trying to find Severide."

She laughs dryly. "Oh now you try and find him? Six weeks later? It's been fucking radio silence from everyone but Mills who least tries to call. Kelly doesn't talk to me, he's holed up again and I'm trying not to push him but do you know what silence like this does to a marriage it kills it. I have Vivi too I can't get her out of the house! Do you know what it feels like to have your person but feel like you're going to lose them because they fear pain? For someone so tough Kelly is the most terrified guy I know. I'm going crazy, he hasn't smiled at me in three weeks! He smiles at the baby, he talks to the baby, the baby is the only person who doesn't know it's an act!" She shouted at him throwing up her hands. She shook her head minutely. " The worst part you guys are a "family" and not one of you fuckers will help me help them! So unless you are going to help me pull Kelly outta the hole he's in, you can get the fuck out of my house!" She ends on another yell.

When Klaire wails Matt pick her up. "That's why I'm here, he needs a kick in the pants I'll do it. Where is he? " He bounces Klaire kissing her dark head.

"He's up at his Dad's cabin on Silver Lake." She sat the chair down and rolled to the fridge taking a picture down. She places the photo copy of a sonogram in his hand. "First one, he missed it. Take that to him."

"Liv." She took the baby from him.

"It's healthy it's all on track tell him. I'm fine. There's nothing to worry over." She said shortly.

"When he's not in so much pain he will regret that." He offered gently.

"As he should."

-/-/-

"There better be a good reason I'm in the woods at night Kelly Benjamin." He looks over his shoulder and there sits Liv in torn black jeans and a tank top that reads "My man carries a haligan!" she only has on lip gloss and mascara. Her hair is piled under a newsboy cap.

"Hey baby, I just-" she struggled to roll toward him on the uneven ground.

"I'll come to you Livvy, "He walked over and kissed her. She pulled him back in and kissed him again. The smile against her mouth is there and gone again in seconds. He broke the kiss and moved behind her to tip the chair back and wheel her over by the fire pit.

"So baby…" She said turning her hat backward and setting everything up to build a fire. "You are a multitude of things a good boat mechanic even but you can't make a life on it. We're not buying into that old fogey's sputtering business. We have kids to raise Kelly." She said concretely side eying him as she piled logs.

"I know." He swigged his beer.

"Do you?" She pushed.

"Where's Klaire?" He asked changing the subject.

"With Erin. I didn't want to have this conversation with her present." She flips open a zippo he didn't know she owned and closed it. Flipping it again.

"What conversation? "

"The one where you tell me you're too much like Benny. That you want to run and don't want me anymore because being with me is going to require you to live on without Shay." She said staring into the pit.

She could feel his eyes on her as she lit the fire. "You're good at that, fast."

"Girl scout." She shrugs. "Marshmallows are in the truck."

"You're wrong." He said plainly.

"No, there's marshmallows I fought Daddy for em'." She joked to cover her fear.

"I ran, but you're wrong about me not wanting you."

When she just stares at him something in his eyes change. "I love you. I'm struggling Livvy but I do love you, I just forgot for second that you're my shotgun rider, my very best friend, you and Shay. You're the person I chose Liv, Casey reminded me today its not about the loses its about the lives we've saved. That book?" he nods to log book on a tree stump. "Your name? it's in there twice under the saved column. We do it for reasons like that. Big life changing saves, me getting to marry you, those kids we saved will get to play sports and go to college, Dad's get to walk their daughters down the aisle because we did our job, because someone has too."

He turns her chair to face him. " In my head I know, Shay went the way any first responder wants too in pursuit of a save and just because I can't get my heart to understand it, it doesn't mean I've stopped loving you. I love you more because you're the only person left who still sees me." He finished turning his wedding band on his finger with his thumb nervously

He pulled the sonogram photo from his pocket. "And about this? I'm sorry."

"No I am, that was a low blow." She said softly.

"It was the truth."

She sits in his lap as they roast marshmallows. When he pulls it from the flames and it's still on fire she flinches away," I've survived fiery explosions and a building collapse death by marshmallow no thanks."

Kelly starts laughing and can't stop. "Baby.." Liv said wary.

"Funny, that was so funny." He said trying to catch his breath.

"OK Kell.."

"You were genuinely scared." He laughed again.

"You waved something on fire in my face!" She defended.

"Baby, I'm a fire fighter I got this, only thing I'm better at than sex." He said with a cocky half smile.

"I thought you wanted to be a boater? Is boater a word?"

"You kabashed it." He shrugged.

"If involves you wearing sleeveless shirts and or no shirt I may retract." She leaned side ways to look at him.

"So you only want me for my body?" he blew out the flame on the marshmallow and took it off the stick.

He offered her a bite. "Yeah Kell, the fact that you're funny, smart, brave and generally the best guy I know is a total turn off." She laughed. "What do you think?" She said biting into the marshmallow.

"That if I play my cards right I'm getting lucky?

"Scooch together we're taking a selifie." He ignored her request and wiped the tiny bit of marshmallow sticking to her lip away before kissing her.

The picture snapped. "Sneaky girl." He muttered still kissing her.

-/-/-

Liv goes inside to clean out Shay's things so they can sell the place. She knows Kelly is outside staring at the house willing himself to come in. Vivi didn't even attempt to come at all so she sits in the silent empty apartment not really know what's important or what's not.

"Hey Liv! Where do you want us?" Matt asked.

"Hey don't use double entendre's with my wife! That's mine I saved it, I love it, I married it, back off." Kelly said only half joking and feeling a tad territorial.

"I'm an it? Really?" Liv said oddly offended.

"No but-"

"Kelly you're digging a hole buddy just stop and ask where she needs help." Casey advised.

"Where do need help pretty wife?" he said and Liv grinned.

"He learns fast Matty, I've got our old bedroom, Kelly you take the living area and once I finish up that room I'll help with the kitchen. Matt can you take the upper bed rooms?"

"Yeah fine!"

-/-/-

Their room is mostly empty of their things and has been taken over with Devon's clothes and general junk. "I'm going to burn this shit." She said to herself.

She hears Shay's voice in the next room and wheels in to see the tv on Kelly stands leaning on a chair back as he watched the screen. As she gets closer she can see he's on the verge of tears. She rolls up beside him and stands.

"Rule number two we never bring our work home." He said. She wraps her arms around his shoulders and hugs him.

"You broke your own rule for me."

"Anytime Livvy, hell every time." He lifted her hand and kissed her palm.

The camera turns to Shay and Kelly tenses. He's ok through the third rule but the last one gets him. "Oh and we're always there for each other we have each others backs."

"Always." He returned.

"No matter what, always." She replied.

Liv wipes the tears trickling down his cheek. "Baby look at me and listen." When he looks at her she can practically feel his pain for herself. "I know I'm not Shay, and I wouldn't ever dare to try to replace her but I've got you Kelly, I've got you, come hell or high water no matter what? Nothing will change the fact that I will catch you if you need it, I love you and I may not know all things Shay does but you're my soul mate, you are my best friend even above Erin and I will not leave you. You can trust me because I love you that much okay?"

He nodded affirmative and she kissed him. "Now wanna help me burn Devon's stuff?" She gives him a glittering evil smile.

He gives a startled half laugh and little cry. "I love you Livvy."

"I'm just the bees knees and great in the sack you got lucky." She retorts and gives him one last kiss.

"It's my last day off . I don't wanna put anything out, don't light klepto skank's shit on fire babe." He said tucking hair behind her ear.

"Okay, you win, this time McFireballs."

AN: That's the chapter folks, I only own Liv and Klaire nothing else if you liked it even if you didn't like it review it please, it helps my process. Thank a ton for the support thus far! Until next week Fire Fans, -MM


	20. Chapter 20

"I wonder what she's thinking." Kelly asked watching Klaire stare intently at him from her bumbo seat sitting on the table across from him.

"Well are you wearing anything shiny? Do you want more bacon?" Liv glanced back at him.

"Yes and My wedding ring why?"

"She's thinking I wanna chew the shiny thing on Daddy's hand. When I reach him you will be mine forever shiny thing."

"Ya think I wish we could ask her. Pop said one time. He asked what I was thinking I was three. He said I told him I was thinking about the time I let the cat lick himself, then lick me at which point I kissed my mom… he said I looked at him and laughed and said she'll never know."

Liv laughed. "That's disgusting Kell."

"Lucky for you we don't have a cat." He replied smirking at her and taking the bacon plate from her.

Liv ate standing up in her chair. "Listen babe, I'd love to take you to your first day back but I have to go before work to sign Klaire up for Mommy & me classes before my shift."

"Seriously? Mommy and me?" Kelly chuckled lowly.

"Jealous babe?"

"A little. Isn't there like Daddy Daughter class or I don't know Kelly Liv Time?"

"I'm sure we could find you guys a class and Kelly Liv Time is usually just called sex." She smiled. "We have that last family wellness check with DCFS tomorrow. Do not be late." She tossed her empty dish in the sink and sat down to roll over beside him and kiss him goodbye. "Pin me" she handed him a safety pin then slide off her rings placing them into his palm. "Thanks Babe," She picked up Klaire and kissed Kelly once again. "Call me after your first rescue of the day and please for the love of all that is fiery be careful! I love you!"

He caught her arm and pulled her back. "Nope Livvy. That was not a proper goodbye."

"Was too…"She cocked her head.

"You didn't even let me kiss my kid."

She turns back. "You may kiss her." He lifted her out of Liv's lap.

"I'll carry her and put her in the car for you." Kelly held her over his head.

"Do not toss her! She is not Hadley!" She said calling up the elevator.

"I was- okay I thought about it." He anchored her on his hip as thy loaded into the elevator. Kelly kissed her little neck rolls and the baby laughed.

"Who loves her Daddy?" he kissed her cheek. "Hmm, Klaire? He kissed her temple. She patted his chest.

"You're going to hype her up." Liv glanced up at them as the elevator landed.

"Yup I am."

"And stick her in my car."

"Yes's." Kelly grinned at her stepping into the foyer.

"Grrr, if you weren't so damned well ya know you."

"But I am me and you adore me."

"Yup it's all part of vicious cycle." She joked rolling away out the door. Kelly caught the chair and tilted her back for a kiss goodbye.

"Keep that up and you will make me late for work."

He just grinned. You got no clue do you?"

"What?" She asked loading into her truck. As he settled Klaire in.

"Not a clue how much I love you. Have a good day Livvy." He said coming around to her door. He leaned in and kissed her a final time.

"Thank you."

-/-/

About an hour into shift Liv receives a text.

Hubs McFireballs: I feel like a cheater, I rescue cheated.

She hits the icon to speed dial him.

-/-/-

She's my city lights…" his phone rang out

"Someone grab that for me." He shouted from the kitchen.

"Who's The Boo? She's hot…" Sylvie said picking up his phone.

"My wife." He said fixing his coffee.

"Severide's phone can I take a message?" Brett said putting on speaker mode.

"No you can tell me who the fuck you are and what he meant by rescue cheat? I will kill him and it will be very, very, painful I'm good with a scalpel." She snarled from the speaker .

"Whoa baby, cool your jets. "He made grabby motions and she tossed him the phone as all the guys laughed.

He clicked off the speaker knowing they could still get the gist of the conversation. "I no, Liv! Livvy! Listen honey, no that was Britt the new EMT that may have been the wrong phrasing to use Liv, I just meant the girl I saved literally had to jump into my arms and I carried her to safety, you're the last person I carried to safety, it felt oddly wrong of me. That is true, and yes they are." He paused lowering the phone. "Liv says hi, you should all stop eavesdropping and bring her Twinkies. Oh wait the last bit was for me. Hum yeah babe I will bring your Zofran and some Twinkies for scaring you. Okay I love you too always Babe, Bye."

"You really gonna go buy her Twinkies and nausea meds?" Brett asked.

"She's pregnant and I'm smart so yeah." Kelly said dryly as he walked past her to the chief's office.

Kelly stuck his head in the door. "Chief! Pregnancy demands, can Newhouse cover me for fifteen minutes."

Chief looked up. "You've been here an hour."

"I pissed her off she demanded food based restitution."

"Just deliver on your promises, fifteen minutes. No standing around and flirting her up because she's pretty and you like her." He retorted.

He nods and dials the pharmacy. "I'm going to pick a script, Olivia B. Severide."

-/-/-

Kelly finds Liv in one of the curtained off exam bay's. "Well sweetie, I hope the secret meeting in the woods with your non boyfriend, boyfriend was worth it. You have poison oak." He hears Liv say.

"You aren't going to blab to mom and Dad are you?" Her little sister responds.

"No, Rainey I'm not. There's the whole doctor sister patient thing and I imagine telling Daddy you have a rash on your Topanga would be mortifying for us both. You can sit up." Kelly burst out laughing he just can't help it.

"Noooo." Rainey whined.

"Hold on Rain," Liv whips the curtain back.

"I want. To die." Rainey says from behind her as a doubled over Kelly appears before them.

"Hello honey, stop that." Liv said.

"It's funny, "Kelly tried to catch his breath.

"Make him stop Livvy." Rainey whined childishly.

"Kelly…"

"Fine baby I'm going your Twinkies, Starbucks and Zofran are at the nurses' station. It has your name all over it. I love you. I hope the problem clears Rainey." He stepped up to kiss Liv on the top of the head and turned still laughing, and walked away.

"I know you're embarrassed but it's the first time I've heard him laugh in almost two months so, thank you."

Rainey sighed.

"You use a condom?" Liv asked scribbling on a script pad.

"Liv?"

"Did you? It's important to your health." She glanced up.

"Did you? With Kelly?"

"Yes, he's been with half the state."

She tore off the script and handed it to her. "Listen use this cream, and take Benadryl it'll go away, and when you have sex on a pile of odd shaped leaves, when you have sex period protect yourself and not just from pregnancy."

"I'm eighteen Olivia"

"I know, that's why I'm having this conversation. I was your age once."

"You were a virgin til you were twenty two." She snarled.

"I was selective, give it a try. I have to go."

-/-/-/-

When Liv comes home from work she hands Klaire off to Rainey and goes to bed thinking she beat Kelly home. When she wakes ten hours later with no sign of him she remains calm if only because Kelly had needed his space lately. When he doesn't come home that night her worry kicks into over drive.

"I can't find him Erin!" She said into the phone.

"Look, it hasn't been forty eight hours you can't report it."

"Right." She nods and tries to stay calm and goes looking for him unsuccessfully.

When she has to reschedule the DCFS visit she's more than worried she's angry. She tries his phone and gets no answer. Early the next day she goes by the firehouse and sees his bike at what should be the beginning of his next shift.

She goes inside. "Where's Kelly?"

"Liv, this is a work place."

She cuts her eyes to the older man. "Feed that line of bullshit to someone else Wallace and tell me where Kelly is now!" She orders.

Kelly walks from the back and into the common area. She picks up Matt's insulated coffee cup and pitches it at him and hot coffee splashes across his chest and down his right arm. "What the fuck Liv!"

"Did you happen to bail on something important? In case the reason you didn't home last night was that were black out drunk laying in a gutter let me enlighten you Kelly! Klaire! We had our last visit before we could adopt Klaire yesterday!" She shouts.

He starts. Livvy I'm-"

"I didn't need you for me I needed you for her. Do not lie and say you're sorry! Do you know how bad and incapable we look now? They could take her from us! How dare you make me think you were okay, how dare you make me think I had my charming funny, smart, flirtatious husband back! You aren't fine and that's okay Kelly, but don't lie to me and let me think you are."

"Olivia," He tries again calmly.

"If I lose my daughter because you couldn't pull your head out of your ass and get your shit together I will never forgive you! It'll be ten times worse than you not being able to forgive yourself for fighting with Shay and that's a promise you can count on Kelly. The fact that I love you only forgives so much and if you aren't careful, it'll run out." She said.

She rolls out and Kelly's eyes follow her like a kicked puppy. "Well go!" Bowden says.

Kelly runs after her. "Baby wait! Just wait! I got it, Okay; I got it no more fuck ups I got it! "He shouts across the parking lot.

She turns back to him shaking her head. "No, you don't! You don't have a goddamn thing under control Kelly! You're a damn good liar though. To me and to yourself." She returned throwing up her hands in frustration.

He walked toward her hands in his pockets and spoke softly. "I know I fucked this up and I never meant to hurt you or Klaire. You gotta know that. You're all I got Liv; don't give up on me please."

"I'm not but you seem really intent on ruining your happiness." She looked off into the distance refusing to look at him.

"How do I fix this?"

She glanced at him then answered. "I rescheduled the meeting just show up. That's all show up and lie, be normal. I got the rest."

"How do I make you not angry at me?" He whispered.

"You don't because I'm not mad." She replied sounding tired.

"You threw hot coffee on me. You're pissed." He gestured to his shirt.

"I'm disappointed, and let down not mad." Her voice shook.

"Liv, the way I am with you it's not a lie."

"Whatever. I'm tired Kelly I didn't sleep well, I thought you'd gone missing."

"I'm sorry, look, let's have dinner and talk it out okay?"

She nods/"Okay."

He leaned down and kissed her. "The fancy place from our first date."

"I kinda barely remember that." She points out.

"I'll leave you hints be ready Saturday eight o clock."

-/-/-/-

After looking up hopefully every time the door opens for an hour. Liv gives up on Kelly showing up and orders a piece of pecan pie and calls Erin.

"You okay?" Erin asked sitting across from her.

"Not at all, if I'm being perfectly honest." She shook her head.

"You look absolutely gorgeous Livvy. He'd love the Victoria Secret Bedhead thing."

"I- Thank you, Erin please don't say I told you so." She looked out the window refusing to cry.

"Why would I?"

"He's finally lost interest. You said he would." Her voice shook with unshed tears.

"That was when I didn't know him and only knew his rep. Before I knew he loved you as much as he claimed. This is just a bump in your road, big and rough and totally unfair but it's just a bump. You gotta keep going, keep trying." Erin held her hand across the table.

"He's never stood me up not once." She said quietly

"Well then he's paying for girl's night. You got his card?" Erin gave her a mischievous smile.

"That's wrong." Liv said trying not to smile back.

"It was wrong to stand you up too." Erin pointed out.

"So, you wanna go see that Nicholas Sparks movie and charge tons of Candy and popcorn to Kelly's card?" Liv replied.

Erin smiled proudly. "That's my girl. Nice tame revenge. My mom's trying to see me again."

"Throw it in reverse sister. What? When? Why?"

"She's engaged needs me to make her look like Betty Crocker or some shit." Erin stole a bite of pie.

"You gonna do it?"

She shrugs. "She's sober."

"Not the first time E."

Her phone rings. "I'm on call. Hold that thought."

"Go ahead."

"Hello. Herrmann? Yeah I'll come get him, I'm across town." Liv hang up.

-/-/-

She comes in and all eyes turn to her but Kelly's who's standing in a pile of beer nuts and pretzels.

"Come on, the rest of you don't see it?" He gestures to Brett.

"No, but they can all see me which is more than I can say for you lately." Liv said and he turns to her.

"Whoa, you look pretty." The compliment does nothing to appease her anger it only hurts her because it's a drunken one he'll forget slurring his way through tomorrow.

"What'd I forget now?" He said scowling.

"Just go get in my car. I'm too tired to fight with you."

"I was just having a few with the guys I just lost track of time."

She crossed her arms over her chest shown off nicely in a short little black dress. "I'm sure, why are you so insistent on hurting me? The one person you actually need. The one person who promised to never leave. Does it make me an easy target? I can throw all my pain, hate, rage, and general shitty attitude on Liv and she'll never leave me? Is that it?"

"Liv i-"He moves to her.

She glared at him with perfectly lined eyes. "You what Kell? You're sorry and you're being a really sucky husband right now? Yeah I got that."

She shook her head which was a mass of red curls because it it was Kelly's favorite style." You wanna know the worst part in all this for me? You make me want all things I never thought I'd have, marriage, babies, and a guy who puts me first and then the second shit gets tough you take it all away. Because you're scared someone is going to see how scared you really are. Scared to love anything that isn't totally out of reach, say a girlfriend who can't remember you, an abandoned baby, or your gay best friend? "She laughed tiredly.

"Look I am sorry Shay left you, but I'm still here and so is Klaire. I really wished you'd remember that because the guy who makes me want all those things I deserve, makes me feel good about myself. He'd never make me feel like the fucking crippled girl getting stood up time and again all over again." She wiped at the tears running down her cheeks turned and left with not another word. Kelly stood totally dumfounded.

"Go after her!" Herrmann said. "I didn't stay married twenty years by walking out when I had to fight for her! Go!"

-/-/=

Kelly walks outside and runs head on into Erin. She stopped him from moving toward Liv's truck with a light shove. "You and me we're pretty much the same person we'd have to be to be loved the way we are by her and I know you gotta deal with shit in your own way even if you push her away." Erin cocks her head and her eyebrows wing up and something in her expression frightens Kelly. "What you don't get to do is trample her heart in the process. Because that is my best friend and I will protect her from the damage you do. You wanna self-destruct fine by me but you'll do it alone. You're going to get in a cab and go home. Alone, just like you want." She said concretely.

"That's not- I didn't mean to do that. She was my best friend."

"And Liv is mine. She's staying with me until you can make her a priority." Erin said it gently but it felt like a stab.

"Fuck that! Liv Livvy! I'm sorry baby, come on. Come back inside, please…" She shouts drunkenly trying to get to her.

Liv rolled down the window. "So help me God Kelly you wake up this baby and I will kill you."

He asked confused. "Why is she in the car? It's late and…"

"And I'm staying with Erin until you need me instead of distance." She tried to be gentle but it came out snippy.

"Baby I need you…I just…" He leans in her window,

She brushed a hand down his face. "You need me but you don't want me not really."

"That's so not true Livvy."

"I love you Kelly. Goodnight. Erin get in, we're leaving." She sets the car in gear.

"Livvy, I'm sorry."

"I know but it's not enough. I called you a cab, get in and go home. Be careful at work. I love you. I'll see you later." She waits for him to back out of the trucks path.

Kelly watched her taillights disappear. "Did she just leave you?" Otis asked from the door.

"I'm not sure." He said and for the first time in what feels like forever that sharp pain in his chest has nothing to do with Shay. "I hope not." He whispered into the night air.

AN: Don't hate me…. Ok, I own nada but Liv and Klaire leave me your thoughts.


	21. Chapter 21

Kelly really hates being alone truth be known but to push away anything he loved when in pain was a hard won default setting. Liv doesn't know that because last time she refused to let him push her away. This time she's swept up in the current and fighting for more than one person.

She's fighting for Vivi who has moved from drinking to wallowing.

Kelly knew Erin was the type of friend to stick her nose in and protect her friend but he never thought Liv would let her.

He stared up at the ceiling where smudges of green paint hit the edges of the white ceiling.

He picked up his phone. He hit her name and it dialed her up. She answers on the third ring. "Did you make it home okay?" she asked all quiet and tired.

"Yes."

"Goodnight then."

"Livvy don't hang up!" he rushes to get the words out.

She sighed. "Why?"

"Because, I miss you already." He replied softly even though no one is there to hear his tender honesty.

She yawns before replying. "And you didn't miss me up at Silver Lake?"

"I knew you'd be there when I got home. This time… you feel gone." He can barely get the words past the lump his throat.

Her frustrated groan falls on his ear. "I didn't leave you Kelly. I do and you'll know it. I'll use little words with big meaning. I will just say I'm done or I want a divorce. You'll know you've been left."

"Can we just not even have this conversation no matter how hypothetical it is? It makes me want to throw up just thinking about it." He said rubbing the center of his chest to force away the stabbing sensation her words left behind.

"That might be the alcohol making you want to vomit." She said dry and sarcastic. God does he love this girl.

He snickered. "That your medical opinion Doc Livvy?"

"No that's my I've never seen my husband that drunk. I hope doesn't puke in my truck. Wifely opinion."

"I'm really am sorry Livvy, you looked beautiful and I keep messing shit up. You're always beautiful, but wow… I was going to get some tonight wasn't I?"

She sighed stifling a laugh. "God Kell, you're so damn full of it. If I didn't love you I'd find you annoying."

"If you didn't love me you'd be Owen." He quipped.

Liv burst with laughter and Kelly smiled without the aid of alcohol for the first time that night. "Come home." He tries not to sound desperate.

"I don't know how to help you. Erin says you gotta do this your way. I can't get in your way Kelly. If I push to hard…"

"Baby you can't help me if you're not here and I want you here I always want you. Erin doesn't know me, not like you do. You think I need a push then push me. Yes I have to do this my way but I have to do this with you. Because I refuse to lose anything else." He said in perfect honesty only Liv got from him.

"Why didn't you come home?" She asked softly.

"I keep seeing Shay everywhere, the firehouse, our place, the freakin' coffee shop you name it. That first shift was harder than I thought."

"And you couldn't just say that to me?"

"Say what I see my dead best friend every time I turn a corner. That it kills me that when we adopt Klaire she won't be sitting next to your sister in the courthouse. That being happy even for half a second makes feel guilty as hell. That my last thought as I dove into that stairwell wasn't of her? It was of you and that I might never know if you were pregnant or what you'd called me for? That sometimes I wished I could trade place with her and others I'm glad I can't.

"Nothing I can say will help you Baby." She said near tears. What he said having brought them on.

"Come home and go to sleep next to me. I don't like being alone. I married you so that you could stick those icy cold feet of yours on my back in the middle of the night for the next fifty years." He asked trying to sound light, happy even."

"My feet aren't cold!"

"Bitch please."

"They're not!" She defends.

"Says the woman who cannot feel her feet they're tiny delicate blocks of ice."

"Did you really just say Bitch Please?" She asked with a chuckle.

"I watched Rupaul's Drag Race with Viv, bad news? Some of those queens were kinda hot. Good news? Vivi is asleep and didn't cry to get that way." He confessed.

"Thank you for that."

"Don't thank me just come home Livvy." He begged.

"The baby is asleep and Erin is having Voight drama and I am having breakfast with them to air some shit out. If I get away I'll bring you lunch deal?" She offered.

"It's a deal babe. Just don't let him turn Klairey out as informant." He said only half joking.

She laughed. "No matter how far you backslide I love you Kelly." She said honestly. She hoped to somehow reach him.

"Shay's the only other person who loved me like that." He said barely above a whisper.

"I know and I'm sorry it's gone." She returned equally as somber.

"Go to sleep Livvy." He ordered gently.

"You called me." She points out and he can hear her smirk.

"Eh whatever night baby."

"Night my love." She said hanging up.

Seconds later Kelly's phone chimes with picture mail. Klaire is curled up against Liv sucking her pacifier in her sleep. "Sweet dreams Daddy."

"Aww and now I miss tiny Severide! Give her back!" He texts in return.

His phone chimes again. "Um No, She's half mine and I'm cuddling her so back off Jack! Goodnight!"

-/-/-

Liv walks into the 21st precinct and rolls into the elevator with Klaire strapped to her chest. "Wanna go see Hanky and Auntie E?"

"E!" Klaire squeals.

"It's not a word I don't care what Erin says it's a letter it doesn't count as your first word." Liv said pushing the button to go up. "Last time Daddy lugged me up the main stairs. He needed to feel manly. I say always work smart not hard unless hard work is required."

Klaire cooed in response and kissed the side of Liv's hand as she held it hostage to stare at her favorite shiny thing after the wrapping paper in Viv's room. Liv's wedding ring and its sparkly diamonds.

Liv rolled out of the elevator and into the bull pen. "Someone help. Take the baby. I swear she's a member of the bright and shiny cult from bubble boy." She said.

"Bright and shiny!" Erin sang. "Do not act like you don't love it." Erin walked toward her.

"What just happened?" Ruzek asked suddenly confused by Erin's demeanor.

"Liv's here she acts normal." Hank said picking Klaire up. "Well Hi there, How's my Klairey girl? Huh you good?" The baby smiles at him and when he smiles back kissing her cheek everyone stares.

"And babies make Voight human." Liv said grinning.

"Last one to the car is buying my IHOP let's get this show on the road." Liv said turning around and heading back for the elevator Erin races to catch up to her unwilling to buy her friend's breakfast.

Hank ever competitive takes the stairs still carrying the baby,

=/=

"You're going back to Severide aren't you?" Erin tries and fails not to snarl as she steps on the elevator.

"I didn't leave him Erin. We had a sleep over." Liv said dryly impatient. She pushed the down button with too much force.

"Too soon, make him think and work for it, I get that you've never been this in love but-"

"And you've never been married!" Liv snaps back.

"I'm only trying to help you." Erin said with a deeply tired sigh.

Liv puts her hands over her face. "I know… it's just…shit Erin I love him, okay? I love him and he's in pain. Pain that I can't fix and until something outweighs the love I'm going to keep trying and giving him chances because. He's my everything. I want a love like my parents have and you have to work at that and forgive." She said as the elevator stopped on the bottom floor.

"Mind if I remind how lucky he is?" Erin said stepping off the elevator.

Liv gave her friend a sidelong glance as she rolled for the door. "Not at all. So this thing with Hank I know your Mom she's got you spinning cause hey that's just Bunny and whatever digs she made at me and Hank? We are your family. Hank is your Dad, and ultimately whatever has you pissed off he did to protect you."

"He went to IA to keep his job Livvy. He said no lying and he lied!" She half shouts and Liv stops and turns to give her a measured look.

"Keeping his job protects you, to protect your job…"

"The things he knows Livvy." She hissed out.

"He would never betray and you know it. You're pissed because you didn't have all the dirty deets. All parents lie. It's just a gradient. "Oh no honey, that's not broccoli under all that cheese or I'm not truly a dirty cop." It all shades of the same thing, would you want him to be dirty?"

"No."

"Then just let it go, he's your Dad and you only get one, I know I lucked out big time but so did you." Liv pointed out.

Hank cleared his throat from behind them. "I believe I owe you breakfast Kitten. Oh next time your husband pulls a bender I'm tossing him in the drunk tank." And with that Hank walks off still carting her baby around.

-/-/-

Kelly's phone rings. "Hey babe, how was breakfast with the Chi-town version of Wayne Unser?"

"There's a kid, he's got a gun." She whispered.

His heart drops. "Livvy Where? Where are you?"

"Hospital. One of my patients got moved to the adult wing. I was checking on them."

"Liv where are you? Are you safe? Baby I'm on my way."

"They won't let you in; we're on lockdown til PD gets here. Please just talk to me I'm scared, I can't get to Klaire…" She said sounding panicky.

"Baby, that daycare is the first thing they'll evacuate." He said scribbling. "Gunman at hospital call Erin!" on to a pad. He throws it too Mills who's closest of all of them who'd stopped to stare.

"Where are you? Are you hidden?" he asked so scared he could barely talk but he needed to keep her calm so he forced himself to maintain a level voice.

"Under the nurses' desk. My patient… I need too…"

"I don't care about them! I care about you Olivia! Do not move, Stay hidden do you hear me? You move you're a target. I am not losing you so park your ass no heroics do you hear me?" He ordered firmly.

"So only you can be a reckless hero?" She joked but it fell flat.

"Damn straight."

"Glory hog." She quipped startling a laugh out of him.

"Swat is about to deploy it's on the news." Mouch said.

"Livvy, the cavalry's comin' baby."

"I told you…" She starts to reprimand him.

"SWAT Baby. SWAT Team just breached. I'm on my way to get you and Klaire."

"I see Erin. She just mouthed got you. You get Klaire I'm okay. I love you."

"Love you Livvy." And she hung up but Kelly's heart was still lodged in his throat.

=/=/=/=

She's giving her statement to Burgess and when Kelly finds her. "I was coming around the-"his kiss cuts off her words and she sighs just a little and his insides finally unclench. "Hi…" she said a little dreamily.

"Are you alright…I'll kill the guy." He said gruffly.

"I'm fine Kelly, totally fine. It was a messed up kid. Where's Klaire?"

"She's fine Doc Livvy." Mills said from behind Kelly. "She's happy as a pig in poop." He finished and she can see Klaire cuddled into his chest babbling at him.

"Good I was so scared for her…" She said and Kelly took the baby and sat her in Liv's lap before kissing her again soundly.

"I should be a hostage more often it makes you amorous." She joked.

Kelly gives her an odd look. "That's not funny. You scared the shit out of me."

"Welcome to my everyday reality Severide." She retorted.

"Olivia…" Hank said. She looked over at him. "Your statement Darlin'."

"Oh yeah, they accidently transferred one of my cases to the adult care floor. I wanted to check in on her and make sure the care she was receiving was appropriate. She needed extra pain meds I turned to the nurses' station to record and report the upped dosage. I saw him standing over a patient with a shot gun. I froze for second; I handle gang shootings and the like all the time but…"

"The dude was on your turf…" Erin said. Liv nodded. "What'd you do next?"

"Dove for the floor. I remember you telling me to never alert a shooter to my presence if it could be avoided. So I hit the floor. I called Kelly, I just wanted …in case, never mind."

"In case he shot you, you wanted the last thing you heard to be Kelly's voice." Erin finished for her.

"You hit anything on way down?" Hank asked.

Caught my chin, elbow, maybe a hip my stomach. My sensation gets hazy I can't be sure…"

"Get checked out." Hank orders.

"You hit your stomach?" Kelly asked almost in accusatory fear.

"I dove blindly under a table Kelly." She said giving him a "Duh" look.

"You should get a look at the baby." He advised.

"Baby? What baby?" Erin said. "You never did tell me those results, I thought…" Erin squealed and hugged her.

"I was going to tell you I just wanted to get past the point of miscarry." Liv said glancing up at Erin as she continued to squeeze her.

Liv's phone rings. "Mom, I-Mom listen I- Mommy! Mom, stop crying. I'm fine." Liv spit out.

Erin took the phone from her. "Mama Mara, you're spinning. Relax. She's fine…. A few bruises but she's going to get checked out. Yes, I doubt he'll leave her unless he has to rescue a cat or douse a fire but I'm staying too. Okay, just spread word amongst the ranks. Klaire's perfect Mama. Alright we love you too." Erin said before hanging up and handing Liv her phone.

Erin gets cleared to join them and they make their way to obstetrics. "I do not rescue cats." Kelly said offended as they stepped on an elevator.

"But you would babe." Liv pointed out.

"Only if it was Klaire's cat, otherwise I'm just a cliché."

Liv laughed. "Kelly…"

"Yeah babe."

"You make me so happy."

"When he's not a drunken asshole." Erin muttered.

"Erin…"

"What you have to forgive him for being a thoughtless douche I don't."

"I thought of a baby name." Liv changed the subject.

"We're naming it Cinder Blaze." Kelly said concretely.

"No, Kelly we're not." Liv pushed the button for the obstetrics floor.

"But-"

"I carry it, I name it." She said using her no none sense doctor voice.

"Erin or Aaron with A if it is a boy Shay for the middle name."

"If it's a boy his initials will spell out ass." Kelly said slightly exasperated.

"Come on I thought you'd like it."

"You thought I'd like my son's initials to be A.S.S." he said as the elevator landed.

"No, naming the baby after both our best friends. You know what forget it. I thought it would be a nice way to honor Shay excuse the fuck outta me for trying." Liv wheeled off the elevator angrily

"For the record. I think its sweet Livvy, and technically his initials would only be A.S." Erin said.

"Like I said forget it, it's not like anyone else lost Shay Huh Kelly? It's not like my sister lost anything either."

"Hey! Livvy, I like it. We'll just tell him not to tell the school yard bully his name." Kelly said trying to smooth things over.

"He's a Severide he'll be the bully." Erin murmured.

"Might be a girl." Liv said.

-/-/-

Kelly sits her gently on the exam table. The care he takes makes Erin smile. She watches them slyly out of the corner of her eye. Liv lift's his left hand and threads their fingers together. "Aren't you meant to be at the firehouse right now?"

"The truck and guys are outside. Mills followed me in to make sure I didn't mow anyone down to get to you and Klaire likes him."

"So-"

"Ah the don't say it rule still stands woman." Kelly said giving her a soft half smile. He turns her face so he can see the purple bruise blooming along her jawline and chin. "Why the face? I love your face." He kissed the bruise and she laughs softly. "What?"

"You just kissed my boo boo."

"Well, someone needed too. We okay?"

"We're okay." She kissed him.

The doctor comes in "Hey Liv."

"Tyler…" Liv greets a young Italian looking guy who smiles brightly at her.

"You look twelve." Kelly and Erin say together.

"Oh I'm not the main doctor, I'm second year. On Talik's service. I'm here for prep. Lay back please Dr. Severide."

She does as bade and the young doctor does a cursory touch exam. "Any pain?"

"No." Liv shakes her head.

"Good an ultrasound tech and the doctor will be right in." He said exiting.

Then a few moments later. The doctor comes in a tall cocoa skinned austere woman. "You should be fine Liv; I wouldn't worry but let's have a look for double assurances." The doctor said as the tech set it up before turning the wand over to the doctor. A black and white image and a floating blob fills the screen.

"That's the baby, the gray blobby thing?" Kelly asked.

"Yes and it looks healthy, wanna hear the heartbeat?"

"Yes!" Erin interrupts creeping closer to Liv with Klaire on her hip.

"You okay E?"

She nods and reaches down with her free hand to brush Liv's hair back seeing Kelly was already holding her hand. "I'm… you're going to have a baby." Erin said in quiet wonderment.

A loud steady whooshing sound filled the room. "There we go, nice and steady… I don't know which of you to address." The doctor nodded between Erin and Kelly

Liv laughs "Husband," she points to Kelly. "Best friend and daughter." She points to Erin and Klaire.

"This is cool baby; sorry I missed the first one." Kelly said as leaned down to kiss her.

"Hey Yo Kid!" Erin hollers as Klaire chows down on the badge lopped around her neck. "What the hell Liv! Feed her!"

Liv just grinned. "She found your shiny thing!"

"Do what?"

"If it's shiny it must go in her mouth. It's a Klairey life requirement." Kelly said smiling as he leaned over and kissed Klaire before helping Liv back into her chair.

-/-/-

Kelly still drinks when he's off shift but he's doing it on their couch and not at Molly's so she counts her blessings and just cleans around him as he watches the game.

"Baby," He calls out.

"Yes Kelly." She calls back while mopping in the kitchen.

"Why're you cleaning like the Queen of England is going to eat off our floor? Sit down, well metaphorically speaking I mean and watch the game with me."

"Bears lose because we suck. I know how it ends." She rolls over and sticks her head into the living room.

"Uh, you wound me." He clutched his chest.

"I do I'm sorry, we suck less than the cowboys." She said all fake innocence and bright smiles. Glad to just see Kelly's playful side again. It's rare these days. She shakes her head and continues her statement. "I have to clean now, because the DCFS visit landed in the middle of next shift. They can't know we live like slobs because I'm a doctor and having a life outside a hospital is difficult enough without pesky things like moping." She said with a shrug.

"I'll hire you some merry maids. Sit down. Baby, please?" he grins at her and she almost caves.

"Why?"

"Because I asked. For the record we're winning." He points at her with the remote. She caves and moves into the living room. He grins like he won something.

She transferred over onto the couch. "Now what?" she sits her hands in her lap.

"Relax." He said while reaching over and rubbing the tension out of her neck.

"I need to get Viv, outta that goddamn room."

"I got that trust me; I'll get her up and looking semi alive if you will just sit with me."

She leans back into him and he puts his arm around her. "I'm here, relaxed. Gimmie my book." She said tilting her head back to look at him. "Cover your eyes Klaire." He said to the baby girl sitting at his feet in a walker.

He kissed Liv. "Wanna do it on the couch?"

"I wanna finish reading the new Nora Roberts book." She smiled and pecked him on the lips.

"Will I ever get any?" He said exaggeratedly.

"If the bears lose maybe…" She quips turning to her page.

"I don't want pity sex; I want some naughty Liv sex."

She leaned forward and eyed him. "Who is this naughty Liv you speak of?"

"She's this total whore who randomly takes over my wife's body and I kind of love her." He said dead seriously.

"Kelly!" She shouts but dissolves into laughter.

"I noticed you did not deny her existence." He said primly.

"Horny jackass." Liv muttered.

"Always baby, til I die." He retorted dropping a kiss into her hair.

"Like in general or…" Liv clarified.

"Nope you've ruined me Zoya could flash me and I'd still just want you."

She snickered but returned to her book.

-/-/-

Liv is walking out of the trauma bay behind impalement when Gabi comes up to her. "Kelly asked me to tell you he's fine but truck 51 got in an accident and come hell or high water, he will be at the DCFS visit. He's fine Liv."

"The others?"

"Mouch is banged up and Mills took a fall but we're whole. The other truck not so much." Gabi confided.

"Can I borrow your radio?"

"Yeah." She held it out.

"Kell?"

"Busy Livvy, talk fast baby." He replied quickly.

"I'll see if they can push the visit." She radioed over.

"No, if we push it again we look worse I'll be there baby."

"Okay… you know where to find me."

-/-/-

Kelly watched them give Molina's wife bad news and his stomach drops. "Chief? I gotta go find my wife the DCFS lady will be at our place in thirty minutes."

"There's nothing you can do here. Leave your radio on." Chief replied.

"Yes Sir."

"Mills get your head checked over that fall looked nasty no excuses before next shift. Clear?"

Mills nods and Kelly runs off.

-/-/-

"You've got to be kidding me?" Liv said as they walked into their house. Women's clothing and beer bottles litter the first floor. "We're going to lose Klaire." Liv said numbly.

Kelly shakes his and starts up the stairs. "No we aren't."

"Kelly… we have twenty minutes." Liv worried her bottom lip nervously.

"I can kick out a skank and shower your sister in that time. Just clean up the bottles."

Liv is carrying Klaire and picking up trash when Elvis Presley's burning love fills the house. Shay must have told him Viv wasn't a fan it makes Liv smile.

"The King doesn't leave the building until you get your face outta whore-cilla's snatch and get in the shower." Kelly orders after ripping the door open and flipping on the lights.

"What the fuck Kelly! Get the fuck out!" Vivi screams and scrambles nakedly for the blankets.

Kelly stands with his hands on his hips he rolls his neck and tries not lose his cool. He even counts to ten but it fails to work so he roars at her anyway. "It's my house; I live here with your sister and your niece! The one we're adopting! If you don't royally fuck up our chances."

"Oh and you had nothing to do with that first time did you? You're a dick." Vivi snarls clutching a blanket to her.

"Honey you ain't seen shit, get in the shower or get dressed and get you and your hooker outta my house." He orders in a cold all business way.

"I'm not a hooker!" the girl says.

"I bet that's what you tell all the pretty boys." He grins at the girl. "Get. Out." He said eyes icy and angry.

"Hello, Antoinette." Liv said. Holding out the girls undies "I believe these are yours. Put them on, along with the rest of your clothes and get out or I can always call Erin, you remember her? She's a cop, likes to put away sorry ass cokeheads." She flicks the garment at the girl like it's a bug and waits knows she's got the girl over a barrel.

"Damn your fast." Kelly said.

"Your best friends Dad is the scariest cop in town you know how to clean up a party." She said watching the other woman dress and scurry off, She points to Vivi. "Throw her in the shower. Make it cold maybe it'll wake her stupid ass up."

"Yes ma'am."

"Shay deserved a goddamn medal for dealing with you both." Liv muttered to herself.

-/-/-

Vivi scrubs up quickly. "Lose the turn out gear, makes it look like you don't have time for Klaire. Tell Liv take down her hair and put on lipstick. Appearance is part of it. You guys will do fine. You aren't destroyed by the death… you're fine got that fake it." She said through the shower door.

"I'm not a great at lying." He said leaning on the wall outside the bathroom.

"You are too, when you're at work or with Liv you lie and make yourself believe you're fine."

"I adore your sister." He defends.

"I know you do but it doesn't mean every single second you feel happiness isn't some kind of betrayal because it is, isn't it. You feel empty and Livvy doesn't because you make her feel fulfilled. She used to make you feel the same, but feeling whole feels like a sin because you can't tell her, you can't tell Shay a damn thing and you wanna die for it but you can't so lie until you don't feel like dying." Vivi advised.

Kelly cleared his throat. "And that's what you're doing?"

"No, I'm just getting through… make the bed." She replied.

"That's disgusting you just had sex in it."

"It's every straight man's dream. We're in hurry do it." Vivi orders.

Kelly and Vivi troop down the stairs. ViviAnne walks up behind Olivia. "Sorry about that, I lost track of time." She hugged her and pulled out her ponytail. "And snap."

Liv tossed her head up side sown and back up. "Lip gloss and lose the scrub top and you're good."

She stripped off the top and tossed in the laundry hamper. She grabbed her clean fire wife tank top off the back of the couch. "Tell me I got this, say something Mom would say." She looked to her sister in worn sweats her wet hair pulled up.

Vivi applies her lip gloss. "Mommy would say be you, everyone loves you when you turn on the charm its fine… you have got this in the bag Liv. You," She points to Kelly "Don't lay it on too thick."

Vivi kissed Liv's cheek. "Where has your mouth been?"

"Don't ask questions you don't want the answers too." Vivi grins.

"We're talking about the Nettie thing Viv." Liv stated plainly.

"Later!" and Vivi left.

Kelly grabbed Liv's hand. "Next time we move? We're not telling your siblings where we live."

She looked up at him. "But then who would help us move?"

"Movers."

"Ready?" She asked.

"Yeah, where's is Klairey?" He looked around for his daughter.

"Play pen."

"Stand up."

"Why?" she looked at him perplexed.

"Just do the standy thing." He said impatiently.

She affixed the chair to standing and he kissed her. "Whoa. Hello Kelly."

"Missed you all day." He said against her lips and kissed her again.

"You ruined my lip gloss." Liv pouted.

"Ruined or put to use?" He countered.

"Your lips are red." She wiped at the stubborn red with her thumb.

The doorbell rang. "Well shit, you wipe your mouth and get Klaire. I got the door." He watched him disappear upstairs.

"Baby! She puked!"

"Of course she did!" She shouted back.

Liv opened the door. "Hi Althea. Come in have a look around I assure you all things have been baby proofed, and safe guarded by Kelly himself. I gotta clean Klaire up; I'll be right with you."

"Baby I got her. Does she need to match? Will we look like bad parents?" He called down.

"No. you won't Mr. Severide. "

"Klaire stop smiling at me! This is ill timed and not funny." He chastised.

"He's really very good with her would you like to observe?" Liv said going to the elevator.

When they go to Klaire's room Kelly is changing her into a green bubble suit. She tries to catch the St. Florian's medal dangling from his neck.

"Has the recent tragedy within his firehouse affected his ability to parent?" Althea asked lowly.

"No, it's affected a lot of things but never my love or ability to care for Klaire." He answered the whispered question.

She finally captures the medallion and promptly tries to put it in her mouth. "Nope, that's Daddy's shiny, I'll get you one. She is like a bird loves anything that shines." He gently pries her hand loose.

"She'll probably be a penny swallower in my medical opinion. But… I know how to extract foreign bodies from tiny bodies up the nose or down the gullet I got it." Liv said in a hurry.

Kelly laughed. "Livvy is a great mom. She's patient and she lets Klaire learn within reason, and she's in great health. Babies put things in their mouths because it's tactile learning." He said picking Klaire up.

"I'm aware."

Klaire starts to fuss. "I got it…" Kelly said.

"I know you do honey." Liv smiled softly.

"Bouncy trick?" he asked Klaire. "Bounce…bounce…We're a regular Tigger huh Klaire?"

"He's nervous, we both are… we love our daughter." Liv said trying to stifle her laugh."

"I can see that she's well and deeply loved." Althea.

Kelly's radio cackles to life. "Humboldt and 20th. Entrapment Squad 3."

"Shit!" Kelly cursed.

"Hand her over… turn out gear is on the first floor." Liv held out her hands.

"She's gonna cry." He worried.

"Only if you do. Kiss her and go babe." He hands her over and kisses them both then runs down stairs as Klaire does in fact cry.

"Told you so!" he called out.

"Be careful!" and he's out the door. "Hey, now Klaire is that truly necessary?" the girl continues to cry. "Ok it is? Really? Wanna eat?"

After the rescue.

"Your Bae as Erin would say is still very pissed at you." Liv said.

"Really?" He said kicking back on his bed.

"Totally gave the DCFS lady the stink eye but she did eat. I still think she felt teased with midday Daddy time. On the upside I think we impressed the lady." Liv said.

Next shift.

Liv comes rolling in as fast as she can go. "Where's the fire Severide?" Platt said as she brought Mouch brownies Liv stole one off the plate as she rolled by,

"Where's Kelly?" she asked biting into her brownie.

"Right here Babe, doing equipment check." He walks over to her.

She hands him envelope. "It's tagged DCFS Viv has been on lookout for and brought it to me." She watched him look over the envelope. "Well open it!" Liv demanded.

"Why she get a brownie?" Otis asked.

"She likes me, and I'm pregnant." A hand flew to Liv's mouth. "Shit!"

Kelly laughed. "It's okay baby. We're due in January." He tore open the envelope.

"February Kelly. What's the letter say?"

He reads aloud. "The Department of Children and Family Services is sending this letter to notify you of the adoption finalization of one Klaire Katherine Eliza Severide, formerly Alaina Pena on the following date. Livvy, its next month…." Kelly grin blooms slow and it warms Liv's heart.

What's the date?"

"August 14th."

Kelly watches Liv go pale. "What baby?"

"That's my adoption date too… I should call my mother." She said in awe.

Kelly opened his phone and dialed Benny. "Dad, I need you to come into town on August 14th."

"Hey, son."

"Oh hey, sorry I'm excited we're officially adopting Klaire on the 14th."

"Call Katie, She'll want to fly in." Benny advised.

"Hi Benny!" Liv butted in.

"Hey Livvy!"

Liv's phone rings. "On my way." She hung up. "I gotta get back." She kissed Kelly's cheek

-/-/-/-

Liv went into the guestroom. She transferred onto the bed and crawled up by her sister to wrap around her like the protector she'd been in childhood. The big spoon. Vivi's listening to slam poetry and Liv listens to Andrea Gibson's Photograph.

"Are you okay? Why'd you call Nettie?"

Vivi just sighed. Livvy wrapped her arms around Vivi's middle and squeezed. "I keep telling Kelly and I forget to tell you. I love you so very much. It's going to be okay!"

"How?" the word shudders out of Vivi.

Liv paused and listened to the poetry, I hope you're smilinglike god is pulling at the corners of your mouthcause I might be naked and lonelyshaking branches for bonesbut I'm still time zones awayfrom who I was the day before we metyou were the first milewhere my heart broke a sweatand I wish you were hereI wish you'd never left but mostly I wish you well I wish you my very, very best

"I don't know how ViviAnne but I know an okay day is coming." She said.

"You gave me the CD before I met Leslie and now…" Viv turned to face Liv.

"Now it's hers." Liv finished. "I've forgotten how much I love spoken word work. Kelly's a classic rock guy." Liv brushed one of Vivi's corn silk blonde locks behind her ear.

Vivi gave her a tear stained smile. "You and Kelly are an enigma. You shouldn't fit… but that's the reason you do. She used to say it was small miracle. I know you thought she disliked you, she didn't she loved you for the way you see him."

"I loved her for making you feel seen." The statement makes Vivi tear up.

"It's like I don't know how to breathe anymore. I thought I was the one who was safe it's not like she runs into burning buildings. I thought I was safe and my worst fear being having to hold you up when he died and those well-wishers and mourners marched past you in their Sunday best. I never thought I'd be the one in these shoes and I can't even think to breathe Livvy, I don't know how I'm alive right now. I have no fucking clue." Liv wiped her falling tears.

"You just are Vivi. Maybe that's the point. We just live on because we've no other choice we live on because even though your mind forgot to breathe and your heart is broken your body still functions."

"I don't want to function." She confessed.

"I know, but she wants you to where ever she is? She wants you to live and feel joy, and cry and laugh until you cry because she loved you and you loved her and it stands as a marker that she was here!"

"Have you told Kelly that?"

Liv shook her head. "He can't hear it; I think he has survivor's guilt."

"Me too. I have I was a shitty girlfriend guilt."

"No you weren't! Shay was fucking up your lives! For Devon! She wasn't perfect Vivi! People fuck up, they fight with people they love and sometimes hell most times you die without a satisfactory goodbye."

"Does the goodbye help?"

"When I lose a long termer? Nah, goodbye is just a word sister. Grief is something you have to do alone."

"It's killing you isn't it? Not being able to fix it."

"Yeah." Its Liv's turn to tear up. She breathes deep and sucks it all back in. "Listen I got a fire wife function at Molly's but I'll be back. Mills and Mads have Klaire Kathrine Eliza! Oh shit! I came in here to tell you, August 14th she's ours!"

-/-/-

When Kelly walks into Molly's bar for the Molina fundraiser he's surprised to see his proper lady like wife sitting behind the bar in a cut to shit baseball tee and jeans her hair in a messy bun at the back of her neck and damned if she ain't beautiful fixing up some fancy drink for Gabi. When she lights the thing on fire he gives a startled laugh. "She was a bar tender in college." Erin says near his shoulder. "Go tip her. Fire wife with the most tips gets a Mani –Pedi on the chief."

She douses the flame on Gabi's drink as he steps forward. "Chug-a-lug Sista."

She smiles at him brightly. "Hiya sugar! What can I get ya?" she asked him tossing a dish towel over her shoulder.

"What I want ain't on a drinks menu baby." He leans over the bar and kisses her as a blush creeps into her cheeks.

"You're bad…" She said smiling.

"You like me that way." He said slipping a 50 dollar bill into her tip jar.

"Irish Car Bomb?' She asked

"Yeah…then I'll just watch you do your Coyote Ugly thing." He leans on the bar watching her move, he secretly loves this blue collar side of his Livvy.

"Baby, I don't need a fake name and dance moves. Just my wheels my boobs and my smile." She slid the beer to him and handed him the shot to drop in the beer to chug.

"All things I like." He downed the drink and winked at her.

AN: I only own the Grayne's, Liv and Klaire. The emboldened words are excerpt from Photograph by Andrea Gibson. I do not own it, just inspired by it. If you liked it please review! The edit was a bitch! LOL!-MM


	22. Chapter 22

When he left the bar with her, this woman whose name he can't remember. Gabi's eyes flashed at him accusing him of sins he'd not yet committed.

She got into his car and leaned across to kiss him and her lips land on his urgently he kissed back for half a second until she stepped on "Squeaks." Klaire's rubber ducky she's obsessed with that damn duck. He leaned away.

She looked down kicking it under the seat. "It's my little girl's." she shrugged and leaned further in. persistent as hell. The breath froze in his lungs. Liv's face flashed in his mind. "You're not her." He whispered.

"I'll be whoever you want babe." She muttered kissing his neck.

He shoved her away. "You can't be my wife. I can't… I can't do this… get out of my car."

The shame is totally overwhelming. He felt the urge to cry rise but pushed it back as the girl stomped out of the car slamming the door.

Tears stung his eyes and he closed them before the tears could fall. The door opened and closed again. Weight shifted on to the seat. "I said I have a wife!" he shouted glaring over he expected the girl but instead he found Dawson.

"I know you do, I came to remind you but you remembered just in time."

"I can't believe I did that." He said. He really wanted to cry, badly his chest hurt from holding it all in but he refused to cry in front of Gabi. "I love Olivia. Gabi you can't tell her please."

"I'm not going to you are." Gabi stated.

The tears leaked down his cheeks anyway and he wipes them away quickly "I can't she'll leave me."

"You don't and she finds out about whatever just happened from someone else? She will leave you anyway." Gabi retorted and for second he hates her for being completely right.

He shakes his head staring out at the nearly empty dark street. "I love her; it wasn't … because I couldn't… I'll break her heart. What's happening to me? I've worked so hard to be the guy deserving of her and…" He sighed and cleared his throat, not daring to look at Gabi. He's too ashamed.

"You're still that guy Severide, and that guy is honest even if it can destroy his life." Gabi points out gently.

-/-/-/-

He stood in the door way gathering his nerve. He took off his jacket hanging it on the hook beside Liv's lab coat. "Hey Kelly, Sis is upstairs doing the dishes, the baby is asleep." Rainey said from the white couch thing.

He nodded in understanding and trooped up stairs. "You alright man?" she called after him. He kept walking.

She's right where Rain said she'd be. Hands in dish water staring out of the darkened window. "Hiya baby how was Molly's?" he stood still. "I can see your reflection in the window Kelly." He can't move. "I won't make you dry if you come kiss me." She smiled brightly at him looking over her shoulder. His heart stopped beating, this was gonna hurt.

"Livvy…" he said voice shaky.

"I know dishpan and doctor hands aren't sexy but… "She rambled then finally turns to look at him, "what's wrong? Why've you been crying? Baby I know you miss her. I feel like I've been neglecting you with everything-"She rolled toward him.

"It's not that and you're beautiful."

"Then what? What's wrong?" her brow furrowed.

"I was almost unfaithful." He spits out quickly like the words cut his tongue.

She blinks and looks at him as if he'd slapped her. "Come again? I thought I heard the word unfaithful come out of your mouth."

"I almost cheated." He said again.

She crossed her arms and glared at him. "Define almost, you kiss her, go home with her? Get a blow job? What?"

"She kissed me, we never made it out Molly's parking lot, and I stopped before it got that far and kicked her out of the car." He confessed.

"You mean you let another woman kiss you. Did you kiss back? Did you enjoy it? I must look like an idiot to all our friends." She shook her head fighting off tears.

He remained silent unable to muster a satisfactory excuse. "Did you. Kiss her back?" She said slowly. "Answer me!" she yelled.

"A little." He said staring at his feet unable look at her.

Her breath hitched bad she made a sound like she was choking. "I am so stupid. Do you know how many people told me not to trust you? How many people told me you would get bored of me? That the fun of being with me would wear off and you'd go for the next thing you could find with long pretty operational legs? A lot of people but the loudest one was Leslie Shay. I used to think she hated me but maybe she was trying to protect me because she could see past your bullshit." She points at him and rolls out of the kitchen.

"It's not bullshit Liv. I love you." He followed her pleadingly trying to fix things.

"Yeah, it really shows." She spit over shoulder as she moved into the living room and to the elevator.

He stepped toward her. Tears swim in his eyes. "Liv I'm sorry baby, so sorry the second it happened I wanted to take it back." He reached out to touch her.

"Don't you dare touch me unless you wanna see how deep my O'Shea crazy runs?" She said it took a minute for him to realize O'shea was her birth name. She pushed the button to call up the elevator.

"Baby…" He said softly. He was truly close to tears now.

"Shut up Kelly! Just shut the fuck up!" she rolled up to him. "And to think I felt like a shitty wife for focusing on Viv and my daughter instead of you. Street corner whores gotcha covered, you obviously don't need me what a relief!" she rolled to the elevator and got in.

Once the elevator doors closed he could hear her crying as she went upstairs, scared she was going to kick him out he followed her up stairs.

As the doors reopened he saw her splotchy mascara streaked face and felt sick. "What did I do wrong Kelly? I don't try to change you, I trust- trusted you, and I really love you. Why's that never enough for anyone I love?" She threw her hands up

"You didn't do anything wrong Olivia, It's a me thing, It's my stuff babe, you are enough." He blinks her in using his body as a stop gap. He had to make her listen.

"No, I'm not. I did something to make you not want me."

"Shay's dead Liv! She's dead and you are keeping your sister alive, you think I don't see it but I know you're keeping Vivi above water and you're busy with your job and Klaire and your condition is so delicate that I don't want to add anymore to your plate and I fucked up majorly."

"I said I was sorry! Are going to cheat every single time you aren't the center of my world?" She shoved past him going into the bedroom.

"Where are you going?" he asked as she grabbed her go bag for work.

"Rain, I'm going to Erin's. The baby is down and medicated. Your brother-in-law is a cheating asshole. I'll be back when I'm not fucking pissed." She called down.

He grabbed the bag from her. "No, you don't get to run from this. Yes, Baby, I fucked up but I told you because we don't keep secrets or run from a fight. I fucked up and I regret it but I told you." He pleads wiping away her runny mascara.

She swatted his hand away, "Fine then you run, it's what you're best at!"

"That's not true." H felt her words like an expertly thrown punch.

"Oh it's not then what are you best at loving me? Guess what I don't believe you and just the sight of you makes me sick and until you don't one of us is going somewhere else." There is cool steel in her green eyes that almost frightens Kelly.

"Liv I-"

"I'm itchin' to call my brothers Kelly. Just try me!" Rainey said. "You heard her go. I don't care where just get out of her space." She said standing in the stair landing below them.

"You have no right to stick your nose in! This is my marriage." He replied.

"Yeah, maybe you'll remember that on the El Train." She spit back.

-/-/-

He's asleep on the train when the shots and other riders fleeing from danger wake him. He runs head on into the danger when he sees someone shot.

The kid turns the gun on him he's scared but doesn't let it show. He wrestles the gun away from the kid. And calls for help as the victim says there is another shooter. He helps her up. They run to the nearest station as the shooting starts again.

He's checking her over going through all the instructions Shay has given him. Then he's not sure if its Liv or Shay who had told him how to safeguard a sucking chest wound with a cellophane wrapper, when he's a crunch but that's what he does using his cigar wrapper.

He hears Liv clear this time as though she's standing over him. "Keep her awake, whatever you have to do keep her awake."

"Hey stay with me!" He shouts noticing she's fading as he finds kindling for a small fire.

"Where'd you learn all this? You a doctor?" the lady asked.

"Nah, firefighter." He starts a fire to trip the alarm and garner help. "Paramedic Best Friend and a wife who's a pediatric trauma specialist you pick shit up. They're both great at what they do."

"Amen for them." She whispered.

"Seconded."

He's crouched down checking her over again as the alarm goes off and the shooters return.

"Finish it! No witnesses." One shouts as the other falters. Then unfortunately the other one takes over and points the gun at Kelly's temple.

"You don't have to do-"Kelly said more calmly than he felt.

"Shut up!"

Kelly closed his eyes and concentrated on Olivia's face. The image of her smiling at him over breakfast the first time she'd spent the night with him pops into his head. Shortly followed by Klaire and her adoption letter.

"Put the gun down!" he hears someone shout but doesn't bother with moving. If he makes it out of this alive. He will make up with Liv if it is the last thing he does.

-/-/-

That night after his statement is made he goes back home. He just wants to be close to his family. He sleeps on the couch. He doesn't want to wake his sleeping dragon who's spoiling for a fight.

The next morning he can faintly hear Klaire crying. He gets up all stiff and hung over but trudges upstairs to get his girl. He walks in to her room and silently picks her up he doesn't want to wake Liv and explain the events of his train ride and truthfully he's afraid to face his actions before that. He changes his smiling baby girl and carries her down stairs for breakfast. He strips off his shirt because feeding Klaire gets messy. She's wearing only a diaper for that reason. He sits her in her high chair and prepares for the battle that is feeding a squirmy 7 month old.

-/-

He tries to feed her some baby cereal but she ain't having it. "You're as stubborn as Mommy you know that?" she just watches him. Her dark inquisitive eyes shining at him. He puts the spoon to her mouth it stays firmly closed. "Come on Klairey cut Daddy a break," he begged tiredly. She shakes her head no.

"Klaire!" He admonished halfheartedly smiling at her.

She continues shaking her head. "That your new trick?" she shakes her head again.

He leans forward and puckers his lips. "Kisses." When she opens her mouth to plant a slobber filled baby kiss on him he slips the spoon in her mouth. "Gotcha!" He chuckled to himself.

"You just don't give up do you?" Rainey said from behind him.

He shrugs his shoulders spooning up more cereal. "Nope, not when it's something I care about believe in or love."

"And you did that because you love Liv?" Rainey asked walking over and leaning on the bar.

"I did that because I'm stupider than I am stubborn." He confessed darkly. Klaire smiles at him unknowing of the thing he'd done. "I love your sister."

"Ain't me you gotta convince." Rainey pointed out.

"How'd you get the shiner? I see you found the hide-a-key." Liv said.

"Well I did hide it. Can we talk?" He asked looking over his shoulder at her entering the kitchen.

"No." she said stopping to kiss Klaire and head back up stairs. "Be careful; don't do anything else stupid today. I've had my fill for a while. "She said dryly rolling away again.

"Livvy-"he grabbed her arm as she passed him.

Her tone is ice cold. This is no game. "Did I say you could touch me?" she looks down pointedly at his left hand resting on her arm.

He lets her go. "No you didn't but I've never needed permission, we have to talk this out."

"Now you do. I have to be able to look at you without wanting to slap you first."

"If it will make you feel better go for it." He watches her closely.

She looks at Klaire then the floor and finally at him. "It won't. You didn't almost cheat, Kelly you cheated. You didn't screw her but you sat in our friends bar and talked her up until leaving with her felt like a good idea, you kissed her. You swore to me that you were mine and I was yours and that it was enough for you that I was enough, but I probably never was to begin with. Shay being gone is not a good enough reason to justify what you did. So no, slapping you won't help because it's not going to make me any less heartbroken, or confused, or feel so fucking betrayed it's all I can do, to not just sit down and cry because everything I love about you, it's leaving with Shay and I can't stop it. So leave me alone Kelly." The hurt in her eyes is the most painful thing he's ever seen or done to someone he feels like dirt and probably.

Livvy, I love you. I honestly never meant for it to happen." He said softly as he sniffs back tears and Klaire pats his hand.

"I love you too. That's why this hurts so badly. I've been cheated on before but never by someone had I actually trusted with my heart. I've gotta get dressed." Now he does feel like dirt, lower than dirt.

He opens his mouth to speak and Vivi cuts him off from the stairway. "Leave her alone Kelly. Leslie would be ashamed of you for that. You've been cheated on, you know what it feels like but you did it anyway. Shows how much you truly care which isn't much." And Vivi dealt the worst blow of all the cold hard truth.

-/-/-

When Connie tells him Liv is in his quarters his heart jumps thinking she's finally ready to talk things out. He prepares for his bad day to hopefully get better.

He walks in and she's sitting in her chair with her arms crossed over a plain blue scrub top. "You were wearing one of those scrubs tops when you gave me your number. It took a week to get the sharpie off my hand, I just stared at you. I thought you were possibly the prettiest girl I'd ever seen." He rambles because his nerves are totally shot.

"Next time someone shoots at you Kelly? You should tell me. Don't let Erin do it." She said plainly and moved to leave.

"I wanted to fix us first!" He stands in front of her.

"And what if there wasn't an us to fix! Kelly someone shot at you!" She slaps at his chest shoving at him

"They missed." He smiled at her.

"That's not funny!"

Liv's breath hitched as she tried not to cry. "Kelly I don't know what's with you, why you're being so self-destructive but I wished I could figure it out. I get it you saved someone's life, you answered your calling but you forget your life holds value! What's happening to us? We're not these people Kelly. We don't tear each other down!"

"Baby…" He said quietly into her hair.

"What?"

"There was a moment last night when my every thought wasn't consumed by Shay. I thought of you when that kid had that gun on me. Just you and Klaire, nothing else."

"I don't know what you want me to say Kelly. I can't forgive you yet." She said plainly.

"I don't want you to say anything baby; I just want you to know that I love you."

"I know. I have to go; I have a medical conference to go to over printed grafts in pediatric patients. I need to see if Ebstein Anomaly babies qualify. Dr. Yang is giving it. She's the best. I want to see if she'd take Klaire on as a patient." She moves to the door he stops her again.

"Printed what a what? I thought Klaire was fine." He said confused.

"She is for now, she won't always be." She explained.

"I know, I just don't understand what you just said typically that's sexy but this our baby you're talking about."

She sighed and answered. "It's complicated Kelly. You can three dimensionally print an organ like her heart so that they know exactly how to operate beforehand. Even in some cases create actual living organisms. Like a liver, or a heart artery. They'd need her stem cells but if they print the artery or valves using her DNA it lessens her odds of rejection and ups the likelihood of only having a singular operation."

He was still confused. "Okay go, go ask about Klaire."

-/-/-

Gabi and Liv sit in massage chairs getting their Fire Wife Mani-Pedi's.

Liv phone chimes and she smiles before texting back. "Ooooh he's attractive. Who's that?" Gabi said looking over her shoulder at a handsome dark eyed man with salt and pepper hair.

"Jack McAndrew. We met at the medical conference. Nice guy, a bit dopey but he's dedicated." She answered.

Gabi butts in. "Girl…I know what Kelly did hurt but be better than that."

Liv shook her head taken a back. "I'm not I would never do that, he asked a professional question. It's just nice to be noticed, I feel like…" She stopped mid rant"what how'd you know what he did?"

"I sort of saw it…" Gabi confessed.

When tears fall silently down her cheeks. Gabi looks slightly alarmed. "I feel like I'm drowning here Gabi and I can't change any of it." She cries in earnest now. "He cheated and he's slipping away from me and I keep trying to remember he's in pain but he cheated on me… he cheated and I know he's sorry but he still did it."

Gabi hugs her tight waving off the manicurist and pedicurist. "Hey girl, its okay… it's gonna be okay, I've got you shhh, just breathe…"

"Was he truly sorry?" she said trying to regain her composure.

"Instantly…I'd never seen him cry before. He was just trying to feel something other than numb. He chose the wrong person to feel better with. He was smashed, it was a mistake."

"I'm so mad at Shay. How dare she leave me holding the bag. I feel like everyone's life is ruined." Liv confessed.

"I know… just breathe Livvy."

-/-/-

Liv lets Kelly stay at home but refuses to sleep in the bed with him which makes him feel even more defeated. Kelly lay there alone in bed staring at the ceiling, he half toys with the idea of waking Klaire so he's not alone but that would make Liv madder. "I said sorry goddamn it!" he tosses and turns some before getting up. "Fuck it don't care if she's pissed we're fixing it. Fucking sheets smell like her and I'm talking to myself!" He muttered marching down the stairs.

He watched her from the stair landing first. She's not asleep. She's watching House M.D. on Netflix. He marched down and snapped on the lamp next to the couch. "I am pissed you won't forgive me!" He blurted as she blinks at him in the additional light.

"I'm sorry you did something that requires my forgiveness call it even Severide." She retorts all sarcasm and pain.

"Liv, I'm sorry honey I really am. I'm sorry my actions hurt you, I'm sorry I did something that could break us because you are all I got in the world Liv. If I lost you I'd never forgive myself. You say you don't change me but you have, before you? I'd have screwed the girl and gone on you'd never know. Because you have changed me I couldn't lie to you. You're the love of my Livvy please just forgive me." he laid out everything on the table. He walked over and stood in front of the TV her face lit by the hazy light but even now he can see she's been crying.

"It meant nothing?" She asked seriously.

"Less than nothing baby." He said holding her gaze willing her to know he spoke the truth.

"Alright, you're forgiven and thank you for telling the truth even though it hurt to hear." She finally said.

He walked over and leaned down next to her. "Thank you." He kissed her she pulled at his tank top to bring him close he took that as invitation to deepen the kiss.

"You have on clothing, weird…" Liv said as he broke the kiss and joined her on the couch. He lay over on his elbows keeping his weight off her, "Your little sister is here and she's nosy." He stated and kissed her again.

She laughed and kissed him back. "I prefer you naked."

"Totally doable, but I'm turning off the TV." He said as moved to kiss the side of her neck.

She inhaled sharply while bunching up his tank top in her hands. "Why?"

"I don't feel comfortable being nude in front of the dude that looks like Casey." She burst out laughing and a weight lifts off Kelly's chest. "I love you Livvy." He said smiling down at her.

-/-

They lay in a sweaty tangle of limbs but Liv honestly doesn't want to move. Kelly's head lies on her chest. She played with the hair at the nape of his neck humming to herself. She can feel him trying to hold in all his pain. "Kelly… its okay baby," a sob breaks free and he hangs on to her so tightly she thinks he may be afraid of the grief he feels. "It's going to be okay, I promise you. Not today or next month or even next year but eventually it gets better…" his sobbing breaks her heart but he'd been holding it in for weeks. "I love you…."

"What do I do without her?" He asked sniffling. "I got snot on you, well the blanket."

"I don't know baby, but we'll get there. And no worries you aren't the first to snot bomb me." She said she can feel him trying to smile but he remains quiet.

"My best friend is gone."

"I'll be your best friend if you will let me." She said kissing the top of his head.

He looks up at her. "You're already my everything Livvy"

"Then why can't I take care of you, help you? Why can't I help Vivi?" She asked tears springing to her eyes.

"I have trouble letting you in. You know that. Viv lost the first person she loved. You can only fix so much baby." He moved a sweat and tear dampened strand of hair of her neck.

He pressed a kiss into the pulse point in her neck. It fluttered against his lips as she spoke. "I was glad it wasn't you. I just kept praying not Kelly… anything but Kelly being hurt. Is god punishing me?"

He pushes himself up to peer down into her eyes his expression serious. "God isn't punishing you for praying a wife's prayer Livvy."

"If it were reversed? I'd die; I'd sooner die than be without you." She confessed the thing she feared.

He shook his head no. "You'd make it Liv. You are so much stronger than you know, if I thought you couldn't take it if I had to sacrifice my life I wouldn't have married you."

"Can you help me with Vivi? I didn't love Shay not the way you two did."

"Yes." He kissed her on the mouth hoping to gear her in another direction.

"If anything ever happens to Erin?" Liv murmured.

"Nothing is going to happen to Erin babe." He played with her hair as he spoke.

"She's a cop. If anything happens to her, don't let me give up."

"I won't Livvy, that's a promise."

-/-/-

When Kelly sees her sitting beside his car at end of shift his heart almost skips a beat, he smiles at her widely. Then the woman he rescued walks up to him. "A thank you for saving me and being so resourceful. I'd like to meet this paramedic friend and doctor wife of yours, thank them for teaching you so well." She hands him a pie.

Kelly bites the bullet. "Umm, she's dead. The paramedic. About two months ago."

"She's here with you. I can feel her."

Kelly pauses. "Thank you. Would you like to meet my wife? She is here. I'm a lucky man."

"Hey baby, this is Angela. Angela Liv."

"Nice to meet you. No offense I'm never letting him take a train again." Liv said smiling. She shook the woman's hand.

"He credits you and his departed friend."

"He shouldn't… he did that himself all I did was occasionally ramble at him." Liv grinned.

"Well I'll let you go but I mean it. Thank you." She hugged Kelly.

"No problem."

-/=

"So can I hitch a ride home? I rode to work with Erin so we could talk over breakfast. Liv asked him.

"You wheeled here?" he replied as he saw her pink scrub top sticking to her body in a way he kind of likes.

"My version of a run." She shrugged.

"Arms hurt?" He grinned at her.

"Like hell…"

"Wanna go parkin'? We can eat the pie too." He offered opening the passenger side door. Preparing to help liv into the car. He sits the pie in the floor board.

"Seriously?" She asked smacking his butt as he bent over to stow his bag.

He stands straight and grins at her. "When was the last time you went parking by the river?"

She thought back. "Uh Med school?"

"We must rectify that. You know I'm a strong believer of doing it in the back seat." Kelly leaned down to kiss her.

As she kissed back they can hear Otis telling them to break it up. Followed shortly by the sound of Gabi smacking him in the head as she tells him to leave them be.

She breaks the kiss. "More importantly what kind of pie is that? I'm hungry."

AN: I do not own Dr. Yang she belongs to ABC Shonda Rhimes and Grey's Anatomy. I do not own Dr. Jack McAndrew he belongs to Steven Spielberg, FOX, and The Red Band Society! If you liked it please drop me a line or two! Thanks a ton. Lastly do not own Chicago Fire or anything related to it or Chicago PD. The shooter scene in the previous chapter belongs to PD!-MM


	23. Chapter 23

Kelly's coming back from the bathroom to get Advil from his bag when he hears his name and looks up in time to catch sight of Owen before he's slammed back into the kitchen bar. "Let me make one thing abundantly clear to you. Do not come home drunk one more time on my sister is that understood? If not? I'll gladly you turn your face into hamburger meat. As for cheating on her? You get one pass. Only one."

"Take your hands of me." He warns slowly. He holds his hands up in surrender and while glancing at his guys to tell them to let him handle it "Your sister went to sidetrack with Vivi." He holds up his phone. He reads off the message. "A really butchy girl just carried me to the rooftop thing for a drink….how do I gently say I'm straight." He handed Owen the phone then continued on. "Can't say I blame butchy… cause damn… but she beat me home by like an hour and Rainey doesn't know that because I was first out of the house today. Next time you need a rat? I'd pick better. Next time you threaten me Owen you best back your shit up. Wife or not I will take you out."

Owen leaves and Casey speaks up. "And I thought I disliked my brother in law." Matt joked.

"Owen's had his nose outta joint about me from the start. No one really knows why." Kelly sighed and grabbed his Advil.

=/-/-

Since Owen's appearance Kelly knows he's not going to find a drinking buddy. He kicks back at the card table and fiddles with his phone.

He pulls up the pictures Liv had sent him the night before. She's standing in her chair the night skyline behind her. She's wearing a long white maxi skirt and a black lace corset top. Her hair is in a Veronica Lake like wave falling over one eye. She smiles wide and playfully at who he assumes is Vivi.

"Wow." Matt said looking over his shoulder.

"I know, gorgeous huh?" Next is a picture of her sandwiched in with the butchy girl looking extremely out of place and uncomfortable. Captioned "Help me…she wants a coffee date." And then finally one of her and Vivi smiling.

"Did you help her?" Casey sat down opposite him.

He scrolled to a picture of him smiling and holding up his left hand where the ring was visible. "That's mine." It was captioned.

"Can I ask you a question? My sister's husband is not only an unapologetic cheating bastard he has moved the money so that if she divorces him she gets no money. What would you do if it was Katie?"

Kelly shrugged and picked up his deck of cards to shuffle as he talked. "Kill him or least make him think I would. " He keeps his eyes downcast as he speaks of cheating on Liv. "It's the only reason I didn't lay Owen out, because I get it I pulled a dick move but at least I was remorseful."

"You cheated?" Matt clarified.

He looks Matt in the eye and hopes he won't be judged. "Got drunk kissed someone. It wasn't my finest moment. Owen screws Liv's best friend on the side. He ain't got room talk. Hypocrite."

"Damn it Severide! You ruin your life I will kick your ass."

"I don't plan to I just get destructive it's my old man in me and I ain't proud of it." His phone rings. "There she is now," he got up and answered it. "Hey beautiful I was just thinking about you."

"Hey I'm sorry about Owen, I'll handle it." She replied as he headed for his quarters.

"No big deal babe it is already handled. "He sat down at his desk. He straightened the picture of he and Klaire that Erin had given him.

"Still I'm sorry his actions were uncalled for. I cannot believe he showed up at the station."

"He sees his thing with Erin reflected back-"He can hear clicking of her keyboard so he stops talking.

She sighed deeply in his ear. "Uh Kell don't hate me but I gotta go. Erin just sent me an S.O.S."

"I'd never hate you… your brother on the other hand…"

"Ha-ha Kelly Benjamin." She retorted dryly.

"Love you baby." He said peering up at one of the pictures of her has taped along his cabinet.

"Love you too be safe."

=/=/=

Liv pulled up at the address Erin had texted her. "And hashtag I'm in the shittiest part of town at the end of the text woulda killed ya E?" she muttered getting out of the truck. "Here…" she texted back. Erin comes out with Antonio and Ruzek. She tossed Ruzek the keys. "Sit in my truck make sure no one jacks my ride it's the most expensive thing I own besides my house." She turned to Antonio. "Help a lady up the stairs." She points to Erin. "You give me the run down, vitals, injuries, and the like. Quick Erin! I need to be back at the ER in an hour,"

Erin scoops her out of the chair and carries her up the steep stairs not trusting Antonio to manage it with her in the chair.

"Near suffocation and they tried to cut her baby out. This is on the QT Liv."

"I gathered that when you sent an SOS. Who's baby?" Liv asked looking at Erin as they marched up the stairs beating Antonio to the top.

"Justin's… ha-Voight's injuries I'm unsure of he wouldn't let me check him over." She hitched Liv higher in arms with a little bounce. If anyone notices the practiced and gentle move neither of them notice. Erin at times has been more than Liv's best friend, she's been caretaker also.

"He'll fall to my charms they always do."

"Why's that?" Antonio asked.

"Bull headed men like me. It's a gift."

Back in her chair she goes to check out the girl. "Hey Olive I remember you."

"I don't…" Olive said glancing uncertainly toward Hank.

"Olivia Grayne Severide. You went to school with my sister Vivi and my brother Liam. I'm a doctor, I'm here to help. I need you to be honest with me alright anything could be important." She holds up a Pulse Oximeter and then affixted to her index finger " This thing here? It's going to measure your blood oxygen levels. It doesn't hurt. I have you felt the baby move since you regain consciousness?" She takes her blood pressure and then moved on to examine an angry jagged line crossing her lower abdomen. "Lastly did you self-inflict this wound? It's shallow."

"Olivia!" Voight barked.

Liv took out one of the ears of her stethoscope and turned her head to give him a sharp reprimanding stare. "If this was anyone but Justin's innocent doll faced girlfriend you'd ask the same thing and we all know it. If it is self-incurred? She has psychological problems. I am doing my job. Let me." She ordered and went back to trying to listen for the baby the old fashioned way.

"No I didn't ma'am I would never hurt my baby."

"Glad to hear that. Your levels are a bit low I'm going to put you on oxygen. Erin there is an emergency canister and cannula in the car for Klaire would you get it. She also needs a tetanus booster and an ultra sound but I can clean the wound." She sends Erin off and sets about debriding the cut

When Erin returns she sets it all up and finishes working on Olive. "She needs a hospital. I can call Kelly's squad." She told Erin.

"I have Nadia come get her."

"Okay. She's too old to be on my unit. Tell Nadia I said to send her to Carver, he owes me one. Say I'm worried about fetal oxygen deprivation to the brain."

"Do what?" Olive became alarmed.

Liv patted her arm. "It's a lie sweetheart so you are in the car of someone I trust."

"You're next hank." Liv said.

"I'm fine." He groused

"The hell you are the way you are breathing tells me you broke at least three ribs. You probably have a concussion and that lip needs a stitch sit before I call my man. He's more pigheaded than you and he will not be happy I am here. Sit." She points to an empty folding chair.

"You think I'm scared of your husband sweet heart?" He grins down at her.

Liv grins back and gives a slight head nod. "No, I think as a fireman he's duty bound to report a witnessed crime and you're off the books police work sit the hell down."

"Liv-"He hedged.

She grins as bright as the sun. "You know it's funny I think I smell smoke."

"Pregnancy makes you mean you know that kitten?" he muttered,

Her eyes turn into cold hard emeralds. "No it does however make me pregnant. Dragging me into a slum and wasting my time, risking my license, refusing help I don't have to offer is not only stupid it's rude. That fucking pisses me off. You piss me off you get the tiger not the kitten. Sit down before, I knock you down. You know I can you taught me how." Erin is hiding a grin as he finally sits down.

Ruzek whistled lowly. "She's something."

"Something you couldn't handle puppy dog eyes. My car?" Liv said.

"I see how you tamed Severide now." Antonio said.

"He ain't tame, he just loves me." She gives a genuine smile as she pulls out a suture kit and ace bandages. She does a quick neuro exam. "You black out at all as you were attacked?"

"No."

"Nausea? Vertigo? Double vision?" she uses her pen light to check his pupils.

"No, Olivia. I'm fine."

"Who has those special letters behind her name handsome? Let me decide if you're fine."

"If I didn't love you child…"

"But ya do. Erin I need help taping his ribs since he won't go for an x-ray it's the best we got."

They wrap his ribs with an efficiency born out of having their own rhythm but that didn't stop Voight from glowering out them and making a general fuss.

She is stitching the cut along his temple when her phone rang. She shushed everyone. Erin hit the button to answer and put Kelly on speaker. "Hello."

"Hey babe, you're off the hook for elevator sex at least until I can get the inspector to the house."

She laughed blushing a little. "Why's that?"

"I just watched an elevator free fall." She snipped off excess line and started the next stitch.

"Baby our house is three floors." She dabbed at blood to clear the field.

"A point Chief made and I refuse to acknowledge I will carry you upstairs until that image is out of my head."

"Alright you wanna be my pack mule it's your call." She cracked her gum and did the next stich.

"Hey what was Erin's SOS about? She okay."

"Drama with Halsted… it's all good." She lied easily.

"They finally do it or what?" Kelly's gossipy tone makes her smile.

She chuckled. "I don't think so."

"It'd make your life easier she'd stop fucking Owen."

Her free hand flew to cover Erin's mouth. "I love you baby, gotta jet stay safe. "She said quickly. She hung up.

"What the fuck Livvy!" Erin said blushing.

"What?! It's not like I wanted everyone to know I'm trying to out run Kelly's elevator kink!" She restarted her work.

"Do you tell him everything?!"

"Wait, wait, wait! You're sleeping with Owen Grayne again?" Hank cut in glancing between then.

"More like never stopped." Liv muttered. Her stitching finished she bandaged him.

"That is a total lie. Twice in the past year!" Erin defends totally forgetting she's at work.

"Twice my ass. I know my brother." Liv retorted moving to butterfly bandage his chin.

"Why're we talking about this?"

Liv leaned back arms crossed work finished and eyed Erin. "Why're you pissed? Pick a guy and it'll all be fixed." She points to Halsted. "That one. Or Owen."

"She's not allowed to pick him." Hank adds.

"Yes, I know interoffice romance Daddy Hank no likey." Liv cracks a joke but re turns her attention to Erin.

Erin stomped off. "Oops did I push a button, you wanna know how I know you're screwing again? He almost tried to beat down Kelly today because he has guilty conscience." Liv said shedding her gloves and cleaning her mess.

Erin growled at her. "You're such a bitch."

Liv followed her. "Come on girl put your back into it. This is QT right not like I could stop him. Stop having dirty cheater sex and you won't be embarrassed."

"You remember that when he cheats again, they always do. Just ask your precious brother." The statement makes Liv feel as though she's been slapped.

Her reply is strong and deadly serious. "You remember that one of those stupid, weak, pitiful wives who took their man back put her job on the line all because you asked. I'm done. Done for a while."

Having finished treating everyone she goes to bounce herself down the stairs. "That's not good for the baby," Alvin said picking her up. "You guys fight… you are sisters. You'll make up." Liv nodded for fear she'd cry.

-/-/-

She called Kelly on her way back to the hospital. "Hey Livvy, Busy day at the Hot Doc's office."

"Please don't cheat on me again." She said while crying.

The force with which she's crying must frighten Kelly he sounds alarmed. Livvy Honey, what's going on?"

"Promise me that you'll just leave me rather than cheat again." She knows the crying is making her hard to understand but she can't stop it.

"Liv! What's wrong?" He said gently/

She sucked in a shaky breath sniffling all the while. "Because I couldn't take it if that's the way you deal with not loving me anymore."

"Livvy I love you, that's not going to happen again. Ever." He paused and tried to think of what had set her off. "Tell me what has you so upset. Please?" he pleads.

"Erin says you'll cheat again because cheaters always do. I mean look at Owen. He's someone I respect and love and he does it to Lindsey who is literally the sweetest girl." She confessed.

"She's wrong. Just because she's Owen's mistress and your best friend it doesn't make her an expert in our relationship. She's jealous, that's all this is I picked you. I will always pick you and Owen will always pick his wife and she's out in the cold and she's pissed. She's pissed you aren't out there with her." Kelly spoken what he felt was the coldest truth he knew about Erin.

"She hurt my feelings." Liv said voice small and so hurt Kelly wanted to hit something.

"I'm sure, baby I'm sorry. Meet me at Molly's at end of shift I'll buy you a cherry coke." He offered trying to get a smile of her.

Liv blew her nose"Can't find a drinking buddy huh love?"

"Oh I could find one I just love you best of all."

"Oh that's it huh? You're a really good liar and it should worry me but I'm back at the hospital I will call you later."

"Bye baby…"

"See ya lover." She hit end with a smile on her face. She wiped her face and headed back in.

-/-/-/

When Livvy rolled into the bar she noticed Kelly sitting at the bar with Connie the Chief's secretary. She laughed quietly but rolled up behind him.

"Everyone is on me about my drinking but what I do off shift doesn't affect my work I'm good at my job. I do it well, the day I show up drunk to work you can fire me. I mean that." He confides.

Connie sees her but doesn't let Kelly know that. "And how's it affecting your life off shift? Liv is on you because she loves you." Connie points out.

"I know that. I love her so much I do ya know. I just being married its hard. Harder than I thought it'd be. "He sipped his drink.

"Still worth it?"

"Always." He said making her smile.

Liv silently moved the chair to standing and looped her arms around his neck. She leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "Take me to bed." And when he lights up like a hopeful little Christmas tree. She adds. "Because I'm tired." She laughs when his smile falls and she kissed his cheek.

"You're mean." He pouted.

"Yes and you love me buy me a coke." She demanded.

"Where's Klaire?" He tilted his head back to look at her.

"Liam. He wanted his Klaire time."

"Boy or girlfriend this week?" he kissed her cheek.

"Boy I think I couldn't really tell. "

"Hi Connie it's good to see you." Liv smiled at the other woman.

"But you're taking your man back huh?"

"Yes ma'am thanks for keeping the man eaters away for me." She replied she patted Kelly's back.

"Anytime."

They move to their favorite booth.

-/-

"You and Erin make up yet?" he watched Liv sip her soda as he nursed his whisky. "I really shouldn't have given you caffeine before bed. You might try to sweep the ceilings or something."

Liv rolled her eyes. "I swept the ceiling fan. No, we didn't and we're not going too. She was a major grade a bitchy little jerk off. I will not apologize for calling her on the Owen shit! They're too old for this now anyways it isn't cute anymore."

"Baby…" Kelly grinned hearing Liv use terms like bitchy little jerk off was unusual and completely hilarious.

"I am not sorry Kelly."

"Okay." He chuckled. "But why do you care so much?"

"Because they need to stop judging me and pick."

Why?" He pushed.

"Because! They need to choose! I chose to forgive you and they need to choose!"

"Livvy why do they need to choose if what they're doing works for them?"

She huffed at him but answered. "It doesn't work for them; they are each other's backups. Neither of them is happy and in order to be really happy you make a choice. Happiness is a choice but they either do it together for real no fail safes or apart it's that simple."

-/-/-

Thing was Erin hardly ever fought with Liv she couldn't handle it. Liv was her compass in a lot of ways. When she lost sight of that it weighed on her.

She pulls up to Liv's place and spots the cars of some of the Grayne's. "Great a clan wide apology." She muttered as she got out.

She walked up to the door and knocked. Kelly swung the door open. "Oh I guess you found parking space for your broom?" It's gotta be a tight fit squashed behind Owen's wife." Kelly said with a sharp unforgiving smile.

Erin rolled her eyes. "Where's Olivia? Her car is here."

"Who says I have to tell you a fucking thing Erin? Her car is here big whoop doesn't mean she is."

"You lose you big bunch a bitch babies!" She hears Liv shout.

Erin smirked crossing her arms. "Poker?"

"Nope scrabble. "He said eyeing Erin to see if she really did feel bad.

"People actually play that?" She asked and Kelly gave a dry laugh.

"She threatened to divorce me during Pictionary for being a shitty artist."

"Welcome to Grayne family game night. Fellow dirty cheater." She moves past him and goes upstairs to the living room. Everyone is there but Liv. "Where is she I just heard her voice."

"Artichoke dip didn't agree with the Severide Spawn, bathroom." Lang said with nod and Erin patently ignores Owen and his wife who is holding Klaire and that really irks her but she breathes deep and heads for the bathroom.

She opens the bathroom door and steps in quietly shutting it behind her. "Not dead Kell, though I think I yakked up part of my spleen." Liv said not looking up from the commode bowl.

"We've pub crawled together I know you ain't dead." She said as she sat in the floor beside Liv.

"I'm not talking to you." Liv replied flatly. Erin ignores it and wets one of the washcloths using tub water.

"What I said about Kelly was below the belt. I'm sorry truly." She hands Liv the rag.

Liv wiped her mouth and shrugged. "You could be right… And the Owen thing? He's my brother and you're you… I just want you guys happy and this little dance you do? It's a waste of your time."

"I'm not in the right on either account. You're right about me and Owen yesterday? I was embarrassed but only that not only did the people I work with see my dirty underbelly, you however accidental it was showed them." Erin confessed.

"I'm sorry." Liv said quietly.

"I know. We good?"

"We're good."

"Baby!" Kelly shouts through the door.

"Yes Dear?" she retorts sarcastically.

"I and the boys from squad we're gonna go to Vegas."

"Did he just say Vegas and boys weekend in the same sentence?" Liv Clarified to Erin.

"He did."

"Help me up off the floor so I can kill him."

-/-/-

Kelly walks in the front door and drops his gear bag. "Wife and Baby!" He shouted up.

Liv's head appears over the third floor railing. "Shut up! I just got her down! "She growled out.

"Livvy go to Vegas with me please? "He beamed up at her.

Liv shook her head. "No I'm second choice because you got ditched Dawson told me!"

"You are not!" Kelly said sounding a little insulted before relenting. "Ok so maybe I wanted a guy's weekend but I already bought our tickets and…let me finish and I went by your mom's office and procured childcare. Four days just me and you." He offers up.

"Can I sleep?" She counter offers squinting at him.

He laughed. Livvy… its Vegas…but since you're pregnant and worn down yes you may sleep. In exchange for a game of strip poker."

"I'll go but you're taking me to see Cher." She said plainly.

"You don't like Lady Gaga but you like Cher?" He was mystified.

"Don't judge me Kelly Severide. I don't judge you for being a Taylor Swift fan!"

"Her music is catchy and that was a naked confession! Naked confessions are not to be spread around."

"Why're you yelling me from the bottom floor? Come upstairs and do something else…." She grinned down at him before disappearing down the hall

"Woman I will find you!" He threatens.

"Find me quietly. Klaire's asleep." She calls back.

-/-/-

Lang opened his door to find Liv and Kelly with the baby. "Is the neon pink dress for the unfortunate event he loses you in the airport Molly Ringwald?" He teased reaching forward to mess with her messy top knot.

She slaps his hand. "We don't hit people, don't be like Mommy." Kelly tells Klaire.

"Screw you both you know I hate flying."

"Mom and Dad wouldn't approve." Lang retorts.

This startles a laugh from Kelly. "Hand Klaire over before we miss our flight. Miss I put half the house in my carry on."

She completely ignores Kelly's jab. "We've never left her with anyone for this long what if like she forgets our faces or something? This is a total mommy milestone and you have ice in your veins."

"You know she's not going to forget us in four days. You are a doctor. I don't have ice in my veins I just trust Lang and Sarah. I only trust this brother and Grady though." He said all business.

"I'm sad stop being an asshole." Liv pouted.

"Kiss her and hand her to me I'll do it."

"See you soon baby." Liv kissed her and gave her to Kelly to say goodbye as she fought the urge to cry she handed Lang Klaire's things.

"I love you….who's gonna be a good girl while Daddy's gone?" Kelly asked as Klaire blew bubbles with her spit and yanked on the zipper of his jacket. "Are sweet girl and I'll bring you a present." He brushed a stay curl into place with his fingers. He kissed her and handed her over. "Let's go babe."

Lang leaned down so Liv could kiss her once more. "Love you bye bye baby."

"Bye sweetie." Kelly echoed as Klaire started to cry. "That I can't take I'm going to the car." He turned tail and hot footed it to the car.

"I've got her, this only lasts a minute you know that Sis, Go, safe travels. Love you." He kissed the top of Liv head. "Don't cry Livvy, she's fine."

She nods wiping her eyes. "Thanks Lang."

"Anytime. Watch this, Aunt Sarah!" Klaire sniffles but grins.

-/-/-

"We left Klaire at Liv's brothers to go to Vegas, is it normal to want to turn around immediately?" Kelly texted to Benny.

"That's to be expected. Don't turn around go enjoy yourself just don't going into debt doing it."

"She cried."

"Welcome to Parenthood that will happen often as she gets older it will have less affect."

"Real helpful Pop."

"Love you Son."

-/-/-

Liv cashed out her slot machine and went to search out the nearest craps table knowing that's where Kelly'd be. They're going to a show in a bit. She finds him at the end of a table holding court with a pretty blonde at his side.

She rolls up to his other side reaching over to pinch his butt and make him jump. "Hey Handsome," she stood with the aide of her chair. She points to the blonde giving her the stink eye. "Who is that?"

"Who're you?" the girl asked.

"His wife."

"Just making friendly conversation Livvy, slow your roll Baby." Kelly said not surprised but entertained by Liv's territorialism.

"Umm hum, well I made five hundred on the slots. How you doin'?" She held his hand.

"I was teaching uh Brittany the art of the craps table."

"Yeah? Looks like a failed mission." She glanced at his sparse chips. "You should try teaching me before you blow our daughter's college fund. Red heads are good luck ya know." As he leans over to kiss her the blonde stomps off dejected.

He kissed her again quickly. "Just hit the back wall." He handed her the dice and watched as with a practiced and quick flick of her wrist she tossed the dice. When they land how he needed them too he shouts. "That's my girl." He raised his arms in victory.

"What'd I do?" She asked with a confused expression and tiny smirk.

"Won my money back… do it again."

-/-/-

"You could totally do that one twister move babe." He sort of half stumbled into their room behind her.

"You're drunk Kelly, that was Cirque De Solei just because I can't feel most of my lower half doesn't mean I can twist any which way your perverted heart desires." She pulled off her shoes. "Down the rest of that bourbon and unzip me."

"You're hot." He mumbles.

Liv laughed to herself. "Thanks I think."

"I can do a lot more than unzip you." He kissed her neck.

"Yeah…" She said a she pulled down the zipper.

The sex is playful and fun and sort of scary yet hilarious when Kelly trips over his own feet and they tumble haphazardly into the bed.

Afterward they lay watching Sons of Anarchy on the hotels Netflix conduit. Liv lay beside him sniffling. "Baby don't cry, I know they find him I've seen snippets of other seasons." He said trying to make her feel better,

When her face crinkles as she holds back tears he holds in his laughter. "What if someone takes one of our babies?! "

"Baby it's a show. Our baby will not get taken."

"It's Chicago! What if it has something wrong with it?"

He stroked her hair and kissed her temple as he tried to comfort her. "Its fine Liv you're fine."

"You probably won't even love me when I'm fat!" She sobs and he laughs he just cannot help it. "Stop laughing you insensitive Jerk face!"

"Liv honey, I will always love you even when you're covered in thirty pounds of baby blubber." He said gently fighting a smile hormonal Livvy was entertaining.

She eyed him. "I'm not gaining thirty pounds I'm too short for that but thank you."

"Well you're very pretty. Next time the emotion train comes through warn a guy. It's scary."

"My body is no longer my own. You and your fear can shut up. I love you." She pouted.

"I love you too Livvy. Really, I do." He laughed and kissed the top of her head.

=/-/-

She sat at the foot of Shay's grave. "I think you'd have been proud of me, I let him take me off to Vegas on a lark and gambled away more money than we needed too. I'm not the most spontaneous of women but I tried for him. Because he keeps trying to fill the whole you left with stuff. Booze, other women, money, hell Sylvie Brett. You name and he has tried it." She looked up at a tiny birds nest in the tree arching over Leslie's grave. Baby birds chirp in the nest. Shay probably would have liked that.

She continues speaking. " There are those moments where the old Kelly surfaces with his crooked grin and dirty sense of humor and that laugh, I feel like it's been ages since I have heard the real thing, that's all I hang on for. Flashes of who he used to be. I miss you; I hope you know I miss you too. You always had our back even when I didn't always think so. Now I feel, alone with the two of them and I know they feel worse. I do, I just, Vivi is sleeping with Nettie just to get by and she was horrible for Vivianne!" She confided to her friend's gravestone because she had no one else to talk to about it. No one who got it.

"Tell that cokehead bitch to amscray! You know that's what she'd say." Owen said from behind her before moving to place flowers in the vase at the base of the headstone.

"And what else would she say?" She eyed her brother as he sat on the bench under the tree. She toyed with telling him of the possibility of being shit on by a baby bird but lets it go because he embarrassed Kelly. She smirked just a little.

"When the butch at the gay bar flirts you up swing for the fences it doesn't count as cheating if you aren't gay."

She burst out laughing. "What are you doing here?"

He nods to the grave marker. "Did you know, they'd have been together a year today? Same as our grandparents. Vivi didn't have the strength to visit her. I said I would."

"Oh God, I totally forgot."

"I got you covered, take a breath." He shrugged.

"And what would she tell me about Kelly?"

"Speaking strictly as your brother, I would advise you to stop babying him. Stop accepting his bad behavior. I know I'm the biggest hypocrite but cheating on you was wrong, and the drinking needs to stop. You can't make him accept the fact that she's dead, he has to do that on his own. Until he does you're just treading water. You get tired? You drown? He will not drag you under with him Liv I won't allow that."

She smiled her brother for his many faults loved her deeply. "Speaking as your sister? If you want Erin? If you love Erin? Choose her and stop filling your holes with Lindsey."

"I love my wife." He whispered.

"Not enough, when Kelly did what he did and he told me? He was destroyed by the fact that he hurt me. You're not destroyed you're wasting your life with things that don't fill you up. I want you to be happy O! That's all, be happy!"

"Happy, got lets go visit Nana and Granddad while we're here."

"Seventy three years is a damn long time to love one person. It gives me hope for me and Kelly." She rolled over and pulled Owen to his feet. "See ya friend." She said to Shay.

-/-/-

When Liv goes upstairs there is an acoustic cover of Taylor Swift's "Out of the woods" playing on Kelly's phone lying on the kitchen table. He danced around the kitchen holding Klaire to his chest. He looks over at her and smiles. "She likes the drums I think."

"What are you doing?" She asked laughing.

"We're practicing."

She leans on the table watching them. "For what?"

"Her wedding day."

Liv's heart melts a little even as she teases him. "Kell, she's seven months old."

"One can never start too early, you don't know this because we don't really dance but I'm a shitty dancer."

"So what, you can scale a ladder a hundred feet in the air and not faint. It's totally hot." Liv flirted.

Thank you for the confidence boost baby. Where'd you go?"

"To visit a friend." As Liv listens to Swift screech in uncertainty about a relationship being on fragile ground and wondering if they'd ever make it out of the woods she gets lost in her own thoughts.

She raised her phone to snap a picture of Kelly and Klaire looking at each other both smiling she wonders if she and Kelly are coming out of their own woods finally.

She sends the picture to Shay's phone knowing her sister paid to keep it on. "My whole world all in one place, sometimes just sometimes he's okay."

"Can I dance too or is this strictly a Daddy daughter party." Liv asked pushing forward.

"Ugh! I guess but you don't even like Taylor Swift!"

"Whatever! Baby hog!" She spun herself.

He leaned down and kissed her. "Music snob."

AN: I own nothing but Liv and her family, there is one scene borrowed from CPD and revamped I hope you guys liked it. If you did leave me a review! Thanks for everything thus far.-MM


	24. Chapter 24

AHe climbed up onto the bed next to Liv. "And she's down for the count. Want to fool around?" he looked over at her in a pair of his boxers and a shirt that read "Proverbs 31: Wifey."

"No, I want to lay here. "She said flatly stretching an arm over her head.

He poked out his bottom lip. She doesn't open her eyes. "If that doesn't work for my daughter, it will not work for you."

"How do you?"

"It's my mom superpower."

He leaned over and kissed her. "Wake up and be my friend. "He whined

She tried not to smile at his pouting. "We're friends already."

"Sex friends then."

"That's called a hooker love." She can feel him tracing the Y looped over her boob with his index finger. "And if you want to cop a feel just do it Kell." She said dryly.

Kelly laughed ducking his head to kiss her neck. "I love you, you're funny." He pressed his lips to her neck. He trailed open mouth kisses up her neck to the pulse point behind her ear. He scraped his teeth down slightly and she shivered. "Fine now I'm awake...asshole."

"I'mma leave a hickey, a big one."

"You woke me up, you better do something fantastic." She retorted looping her arms around his neck as he kissed her.

"Challenge accepted, hang on to your stethoscope or you know the headboard." He joked while kissing down her neck and creeping his hands up her sides beneath her shirt.

You're Shameless." She replied.

"You love it." He replied smirking against her chest.

-/-/-

"Worth waking up for?" he asked spooned up against her. His thumb strokes up and down a tiny patch of her belly that his hand laid on. She just chuckles. He kissed the side of her neck breathing in her flower scent before speaking again. "Since Shay… since Shay left I sometimes forget how deep I love you... How you're the one I want. I'm sorry I forget Livvy."

She rolled to her back to look up at him. "I forgave you Kelly," She traced his bottom lip with her thumb nail. "You should do the same." She leaned up to kiss him slowly. "I know pain can block out good things. It's okay."

"It's not, not when I let it hurt you, change us."

"As long as we're together, we're going to be fine Kelly. I believe that." She said brushing his hair back with her fingertips.

"I sense a but somewhere in there." He gives a smile it's meant to be charming but sadness pulls at his eyes.

"No buts, I just have one request. When we adopt Klaire on Friday? I need you to be completely present. Physically, mentally, emotionally, I need you all there. Not for me but for her, for you. Because if you let missing Shay flood in on that moment? If this is somehow muted or I don't know unremarkable compared to the pain, you will regret that. Forever."

"Okay, I hear you." He said with a nod.

"Okay?"

"Okay Baby." He leaned in and kissed her.

-/-/-

Kelly got out of Liv's truck. "Come in with me a minute ladies? Please?"

"Fine but you get Klairey." She relented and pushed the button to open up her door.

When Kelly walks in carrying Klaire and walking beside Liv holding her hand he gets a few odd stares. Stares like the ones he got when introducing Liv the first time.

"Hey guys! "He said with a happy smile.

"Hey how was Vegas?" Capp asked.

"Great! In fact thanks for ditching me, I got time with Liv so it's all good. I just wanted to invite you all to the courthouse we will officially be adopting this one." He paused to kiss Klaire's head. "On Friday!"

Everyone applauded and gave their well wishes.

"Can you help me get the paper work in order to add Klaire to my insurance and benefits Mouch?" Kelly asked nodding at Mouch.

"What he means is hand my wife the paperwork she'll do it." Liv quipped in response.

"Totally unfounded accusation." Liv just stared him down. "Maybe not totally."

As Kelly went off with Mouch to find the paperwork needed. Gabi approached.

"He seems happy…Really exceedingly happy. What'd you do?" Gabi leaned on the table next to Liv.

Liv answered slightly confused by the question. "Nothing. We reached a milestone we've waited a long time for. He's happy."

"You don't think he's hiding from, I don't know missing Shay?"

Liv shook her head minutely a spark in eyes that Kelly could have told her meant take cover. "You know what Gabriela not everything in my life revolves around the absence of Leslie Fucking Shay! I wanted for five freaking minutes to feel normal! He's trying to do that for me, just back off and look at your life before you judge mine! It's okay if Kelly's happy! Leslie would want that!"

Kelly heard Liv yelling and came out to the common area. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, sorry Gabi. I'm just over tired and I'm gonna go." She rolled over and took the baby from Matt. She rolled out to the truck bay.

"What'd you do? What'd you say to her?" Kelly said to Gabi as he chased after Liv. "Baby, wait!"

Herrmann poked his head around the corner to watch as Kelly caught up to Liv. He crouched down to be in her eye line. They talked in low tones and he kissed her with Klaire trying to grab for his St. Florian's medal. He released Liv to smile down at Klaire talking to her for second before picking her up and loading her into Liv's truck. He bids them goodbye and turns back to the fire house. Herrmann moves out of his sight line fast.

He straightens his medal with a smile. He usually has to adjust it for dirtier reasons. He honestly never thought he'd have a little girl trying to capture the gold medallion like she had his heart. When he goes back into the firehouse he rounds on Gabi.

"That is the one person left in the world I don't fake it with. When I'm with Livvy I'm actually as happy as I can manage, and yes I've done some shitty stuff to her but I'm working on it. How dare you make her think that me being happy with her is a lie! It's not, I love her and Klaire. Next time you question my life look at yours because honestly you're the one hiding."

-/-/-

Liv brings back the paper work and has lunch with Kelly. He eyed her chili cheese fries. "That's gonna return to sender fast babe."

She put down a chili soaked fry. "You're ruining my food buzz."

He laughed. "What you know I'm in a special relationship with food right now."

"Livvy you crack me up baby." He smiled at her as he bit into his burger.

"My love of cheese feels very real." She defends herself.

"As long as you love me more than the cheese we're good."

"This is why I got fat in med school." She said sipping her chocolate milkshake.

He cocked his head at her in speculation. "You got fat because you were having an affair with the dairy aisle? Or I wasn't around to love you up?"

"Both kinda. Am I still hot?"

"Smokin' quit hoggin' and gimmie a fry." She pushed the fry boat toward him.

Connie popped her head in. "Severide you have a visitor."

"Be right there," he stood and turned to scoop Liv off the bed. "Come with me."

-/-

Liv peered around the corner to see the girl from the craps table furtively glancing all around the firehouse obviously edgy. "Honey what the hell did you say to craps table girl? No, scooch back she'll see you! I'll handle it."

"Livvy…" He warned but she's already rolling away.

"I got this." She tossed over her shoulder

Liv rolled forward directly into the other woman's path. "You're the girl from the craps table right Brittany? Look, I admire your persistence. I get it even, he's hot. Here's the rub though Barbie, when I said I was his wife, it was the truth." Liv said plainly and calmly.

Brittany's eyes light in challenge. "You think Vegas is the only place I know him from? Nah, I seem to remember a very steamy moment in the car, outside Molly's Pub. It all makes sense now, after all you seem exactly as he made you out to be some frigid, clingy, pathetic, bitch. The chair is a surprise though; he doesn't seem the charitable type."

Once "The Chair is thrown in her face she laughs dryly. She can hear Kelly coming up behind her but she ignores his presence and fights back. "You think you're the first woman I've ran across who thinks that me being in the chair makes me less than you? You think you're the first to throw a nasty insult my way? You're not and sadly you won't be the last. He kicked you out of his car and ignored you at the craps table. Face it sweetie, he's just not that into you're crazy ass. Yes, I may live my life from a seated position but at least I haven't spent it on my knees if you catch my drift. You ain't nothing but a sad little girl beggin' for scraps. You won't find them here. You come back and I'll bring cops to the next little nut ball parade we march in that clear?" She kicks her chin up and holds her gaze.

Kelly puts hands on her shoulders. "You should leave, that's your best course of action here."

"But-"Brittany sputtered.

Kelly's eyes turn cold and hard. "I talked to you at the craps table because I forgot you. I was bored. Leave."

As the woman stomps off. "Seriously? You had to screw around on me with a crazy chick? Not just like a normal dirty hoe?" Liv complained glancing up at him.

Gabi laughed. "Pretty sure you're the first normal girl he's ever picked."

"The Renee's were normal." Kelly adds in.

"From what Shay told me, they were far from stable." Liv smiled. "That's okay though we all crash and burn a few times."

"Oh Yeah! What was the hockey player's name?" Kelly teased back,

"I don't exactly recall."

The fire tone goes off.

-/-/-

Kelly steps out of the shower. "Drop the towel and no one gets hurt." Liv says as she looked at him from where she sat on the sink.

"How'd you get up there?" He asked with a lopsided grin, he held firmly to the towel.

"Magic." She smiled at him. "Should I cut my hair?" She asked conversationally.

"I definitely vote no, but it is your head and your hair."

She crooked her finger at him. "I am really starting to love your pregnant girl sex drive I gotta say." He said as came closer.

"Drop the towel." She commanded in a no nonsense tone.

"Where is everyone?" He asked.

"Klaire is with my mom. Vivi had some party to plan and Rainey is out with pin cushion. Since when do you care about privacy?"

"Fair point." He dropped the towel and she gave him a satisfied smirk. "I've corrupted you." He steps up to the counter catching the backs of her knees he drug her to the edge of the counter. "Hi."

She cocked her head up at him. " Hi." He pulled her hair to tilt her head back and kiss her. "Hair pulling is not nice baby." He does it again just to spite her and she chuckled kissing him back full force when her phone rang.

"Ignore that." He picked her up and started to carry her off when the urgent tone on her phone blared.

"That's important; we only use the urgent option in a crisis. Gotta get it." She said he backtracked.

She snatched up her phone as Kelly carried her to the bedroom. "This had better be good. I'm with my very- You what? When? Wait Kelly what? Are you sure it's him? Yes right, I'm sorry. I'm on my way to the station, I just need to put on pants." She paused. "Well you've seen my husband; you'd take off your pants a lot too." Liv smiled. "There we go a laugh, be right there. Love you."

She hung up. "Why didn't you tell me about the fire?"

"I didn't wanna tell you I saved a pedophile."

"Erin's baby brother was in some of the pictures. I gotta go calm her down. Put me in the chair?"

"Sure baby." He answered landing a quick kiss on her mouth.

-/-/-

"Erin okay?" Kelly asked from the top of the second floor stairs.

She tossed aside her bag. "She's far from it, but there's not much I can do to change it."

"Anything I can do to help?"

She rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands as if to force away fatigue. "I want a beer."

"Of the root variety." Kelly hedged.

"Nope."

He came down the stairs smiling at her all cheesy like. "Just a few more months and you can pump and dump to your hearts content."

"How do you know what that is?"

"I saw it on the Kardashians." He planted a smacking kiss on her mouth. "Come if we hurry we can have sex before you mom comes back with Klaire."

A few days later there is a knock on the door. "Can you get that Kell? My hands are full." Liv said as she kneaded bread dough for the family dinner. The crashing and exploding of the latest call of duty paused as Kelly got to his feet. Klaire chattered next her as the door creaks open.

Seconds later Kelly appears at her side. "Erin's outside and there are tears. A lot of them. Like you at the end of My Sisters Keeper volume of tears. You should probably run…er roll real fast."

She rolled into the elevator and was down stairs in a blink. "Erin? Honey, what happened?" Erin just sobbed curling on herself like old paper. "Hey, Hey, Hey," Liv chanted as she stood and hugged her friend. "It's okay." She rubbed her back as the stood clinging together on the sidewalk.

Erin continued crying clutching Liv tight. Liv became alarmed. "You need to tell me what's going on Erin! I'm starting to get scared."

"I should…have…" She starts but crumbles.

"Shhh, Should've what E?"

Erin sucked back her tears. "Looked for him, helped him."

Liv shakes her head and wiped Erin's tears." Erin you were what? Twenty one when he left. He was not your responsibility. He was Bunny's child! Do you hear me? If this shit lands on anyone its Bunny!"

"He was a sex slave Livvy, my sweet kind hearted half in love with Liam baby brother was forced to do horrid things for people to watch and lived in squalor! He's so messed up and strung out. No one helped him Livvy! He hooks Liv to get by he sells himself! I failed him!" She railed at herself.

"Well you're here now, and you have enough experience with life to help him. You can help him now." Liv said in an attempt to soothe her friend's jangled emotions.

"He hates me."

Liv shook her head. "I promise you he doesn't hate you for getting out. He loves you. I remember that much."

"How do you do that?" Erin gave a watered down smile.

"Do what?"

"Make me feel better."

"Same way you do for me." Liv crossed her arms. "Now, you wanna tell me why you have a life size q-tip stapled to your head?" Liv cocked an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Took a spill, minor concussion. I'm all good Doc I swear." Erin retorted with a half smirk.

"Eh, I'll check you over inside. Wanna come play with Klaire?"

"I'd love to see my sunshine!"

They solved the case the day before Klaire's adoption. Liv receives a frantic phone call from her mother saying the head of the Chicago based child porn was one of her coworkers. Liv is shocked but refuses to let it slow her down from all her planning.

-/-/-

"Livvy you seen my tie?" he asked walking into the bathroom with his head down when he looks up she's nitpicking at the messy side bun on her head. She's wearing the red dress from her high school reunion. Her baby bump protruding ever so slightly.

"Third drawer next to your socks. What?" She answered as she caught his intent blue eyed stair in the mirror.

He wolf whistled. "Whoa, hello Honey."

She looked at him confused. "What? I've worn this before."

"You look beautiful." He said honestly. He came to stand behind her he leaned and kissed her neck.

"Thank you," she looked up at him. "Red or pink?" she held up lipstick tubes.

"Uh, you know I'm partial to you and anything red but pink is more low key, Classy fits the occasion better. Pink."

"You have been watching ANTM with Rainey Jane haven't you?" Liv teased.

She went to apply the lipstick. "Wait! Kiss me first."

"Goofball!" she kissed him. "Who is getting your sister from the airport?"

"My Dad, your family is meeting us there right?" He rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Yup all of em' and Erin and Hank."

Kelly smiled. This is new. You popped overnight." He touched her belly.

"Stop… don't be a belly toucher it's weird." She tried to shove his hand away but he refused to budge.

"I put it there I'll touch it if I want." He said defiantly and it made her smile.

"Sexist pig." She quipped.

"I'm a feminist you know."

Liv glanced at him again deciding to play devil's advocate. "Yeah? What if Klaire wants to be fireman."

"It's not like I'd want her to be a firefighter but if it's her thing, her passion more power to her."

"Yeah, not buying it." Liv shook her and changed the subject. "Will you go get the future smoke eater dressed? Her dress has big white and yellow daises on it with a blue back ground; I'll handle shoes and her totally outrageous mop." Liv bargains and Kelly must accept because he takes off.

As she applies a coat of mascara she can hear Kelly talking to Klaire. "Morning love bug! Look at you already up!" Klaire claps and giggles. "I know Daddy's excited to see you too!" he said Liv can tell by the squeaky floor board he'd be reaching into the crib.

There's a pause and his tone belies being totally grossed out. "What is in your hair Klaire Katherine Eliza?" she just mumbles. "Is that snot or poop?" more disgust and total confusion. Liv has to bite her lip not to laugh but she relents and decides to give him an out.

Liv wanders into the room. "Do a sniff test."

He looks at her as though she'd just suggested he sell his organs on the black market. "That's gross."

"Babies are as gross as they are cute." She states plainly.

He sniffs. "It's not poop. Just snot, I'll just wash her up real quick."

"I'm done I can…" Liv offers holding out her hands to take Klaire.

"Nah you're all pretty. I got it."

She leaves Kelly to it and goes to put on her shoes. Kelly strips off his shirt and then strips down Klaire and carries her into the bathroom off her room. "Only you could get snot in your hair on the most important day of your life child."

Liv goes to put on her nude heels and when she looked at their bed she saw the teddy bear the judge had given her from her own adoption day sitting on the bed. Mr. Stuffy holds a velvet box and a note.

She opened the note.

Hey Livvy,

Today, you become more than you were before. Today you become Klaire's mother in every way that counts and not just for the moments she's within grasp of your arms but forever. No one can love her like you do and will continue to for all her days. I think it must be harder to be a mother than a father. I get to be her own personal super hero, the person who chases away monsters and men, the one who will teach her how to throw a spiral and drive. You though are the roots in which she ground herself. She will watch your every move and mimic all that she sees within you with the love and innocence of the truly trusting. We are and will always be a team but there are pieces of Klaire that will belong solely to you. I read somewhere "God can't be everywhere so he created mothers." I am glad God created you for my own selfish reasons, because you choose to love me every day. Most importantly I'm glad he made you to be Klaire's exceptional mother. I love you happy adoption Day!

-Kelly 

P.S. This letter is similar to a naked confession. Tell no one.

When she opens the box amethyst stud earrings greet her. Klaire and the other's baby's birthstones.

She turns to the mirror over her dresser and puts them on. She picks up Mr. Stuffy and kissed his dusty head. She nestles him back on the bed. She puts on her shoes.

-/-/-

"Look talk into it." He waves the hair dryer in Klaire's face. She blinks rapidly and swats him away. "Klairey I am your father!" he says into the dryer his voice distorting and Liv cracks up.

"Hey Darth Vader." She rolled up beside him to give him a quick hug.

"Hey Hot Doc, found your gift I see. Did you like it? It's your adoption Day too and I know it's a big deal to your family." Kelly said.

"I love them baby, how'd you get Mr. Stuffy?"

"Your Mom actually, they line her office apparently the adoption bears are a thing with the courts I asked your mom if she had yours."

"I gave her Mr. stuffy for safe keeping when I left for college." Liv moved to lean on the sink.

"I didn't do college just fire academy." He said while gently drying the back of Klaire's curly hair.

"Not the book learning type?"

"I don't really like the whole idea of paying for something I'd never love…"

"Fair point. Klaire is going to college though and aby Cinder too. We're not actually naming it that. I just don't like calling the fetus an it."

"She's clean her hair it's mostly dry though I can't be sure she wiggles more than a meth head stripper on a greased pole." Bored of Daddy Klaire reaches for her.

"Know a few of those do ya baby?"

"Yes actually."

"We shall discuss that later trust me, but for now let's get dressed and moving." She picked up Klaire standing the girl her lap she straightens her dress. "Pretty Girl!"

-/-/-

Kelly is parking the car when he looks over to find Liv crying. "Baby we're in the parking garage and you're already starting?" He said laughing.

"I'm happy." She replied wiping her eyes

He leans across the seat to kiss her. "I am too."

They get out of the car and are quickly enveloped into the chaos that is being a Grayne. The older ones organizing and keeping track of the younger ones. Liv picks up Klaire. Cole quickly takes over wheeling Liv and Kelly feels a little like his girls have been stolen from him.

"Hi Keely! Miss you!" Hadley said in all one breath before clambering up him like an aerial ladder. It makes him smile.

"Hi Baby! I miss you too, how you been? You look real pretty. "He said as she laid her head on his shoulder. Her arms looped around his neck.

They head inside to be greeted by Matt and Gabi along with the chief and Herrmann and his wife. Liv is hugging Gabi when Erin runs up and steals Klaire from Liv's lap.

"You made it!" Liv said happily.

Hank leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Said we would, didn't we Kitten."

She talks to them until Owen approaches Erin. "Here comes Owen best of luck…I'll just be elsewhere."

As Liv passed someone staring her down. "Come a little closer Sweetie. It's contagious." She quipped and even hissed at the man to make him jump.

Let's hope that old fart isn't the judge." Kelly said from beside her.

"Next time I get a creeper in New York mind if I use that?" Katie asked coming over to them with Benny.

"My skeevy men deterrent is your skeevy men deterrent."

"Wanna meet your niece?" Kelly asked Katie and led her off toward whoever had possession of Klaire.

"How is he?" Benny asked.

Liv cast her eyes up at him. "Some days I just don't know Benny, but today? Today he's great. Go meet your granddaughter."

-/-/-

"Next on the docket petition PA792674 the Severide Adoption." The para legal calls into the waiting room they're all gathered in.

"That's us!" Liv smiled.

"I know I memorized the case number. I feel like puking…"

"That's my line." Liv retorts. She reached over and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Just breathe son it'll all be fine." Cole soothes patting Kelly on the back as Benny looks on perplexed.

Liv wheeled a half step in front of him but kept to his side.

"Wait! Who has possession of Klaire! I need Klaire!" She called out panicked.

"I've got the Ladybug." Hank said all gravelly voiced. He tries to hand her over to Kelly but she's not biting. She doesn't care that they have to go in that courtroom, Hanky is here and in her mind that must mean she gets all his attention for the duration of the day.

"I need something shiny or sweet!" Kelly said. Liv shakes her head Kelly' is not used to not being the coolest dude in the room where Klaire is concerned.

"Something she wants but never gets," Cole tossed Kelly his reading glasses.

"Look Klairey… gotta come with Daddy first." He waves the glasses at her and she bails for him. "I will always win Klaire. Learn it, live it, love it."

"What I have told you about gloating to the baby?" Liv asked holding out her hand again for him to retake.

"It ain't gloating if it's the truth." He smiled back taking her hand.

They walk into a fairly barren courtroom. "Oh we're gonna need a bigger room." The paralegal said taking notice of their crowd of family.

"Welcome to every family function we've ever had." Kelly said narrowly avoiding being stabbed in the eye by a rogue ear piece as Klaire tried to put the glasses on his face.

After walking a winding path they get situated and the judge comes in and starts the proceedings.

"We're here to finalize the adoption petition of one aby Jane Doe, later identified as one Alaina Pena currently and hereby and forthwith known as one Klaire Katherine Eliza Severide. Is that correct?" he said looking down to read off the file.

"Yes your honor." The social worker replied.

"And Kelly and Olivia Severide are petitioning to legalize the adoption of their daughter correct?"

"Yes."

They will now be sworn and the adoption will be under way. Would you both please raise your right hand?" he looked to them as they bailiff brought forward a Bible.

They both raise their right hands. Klaire ignores them entirely, too intent on destroying her coveted prize.

"Do you swear the testimony you are about to give is the truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?" he asked.

"Yes." They both parrot in unison.

"It says here that the child is a safe haven baby literally handed to Mr. Severide?" Judge Parsons asked as a way to understand the background.

"Yes your honor, she was." Kelly replied as Klaire growled as she tried to bend the glasses frames to her liking.

"You must have had an instantly meaningful connection with the little girl."

He smiled softly and laughed lightly. "Yes, you can't tell it right now but she is usually a Daddy's girl."

"It says here that you are a firefighter and you Mrs. Severide are a doctor. I'd imagine Miss Klaire is in the best hands to care for her. You believe her adoption is in her best interest taking into consideration her heart condition yes?"

Liv unsure of whom he's speaking to answers. "My daughter is worthy of adoption regardless of any medical condition she may have. I love my daughter and I am more than equipped to care for her emotional, physical, medical, and spiritual needs. I'm the person meant to be her mother. So yes your honor her adoption suits all involved." Liv's tone is clipped and irritated.

"Livvy…" Kelly warns knowing his wife's temper.

"It's alright Mr. Severide; it's nice to know the little girl I made into a Grayne is such a fighter. Your daughter might need it one day. I seem to remember someone else's mother having similar reaction." Judge Parson's smiled at her. Liv just looked on shocked having not recognized the man. "Well let's get on with it, have you both read the decree and understood it?" He asked looking back down at the file.

"Yes." They answer.

"And it is your wish to adopt Klaire today?"

"Yes." They say quickly and they can hear a low chuckle coming from their onlookers.

"Kelly, do understand that by adopting Klaire, you will be responsible for her physical, and emotional wellbeing. That you agree to educate her? That you have the same responsibilities under state and federal law as if she were your natural born child? As such, she would have the right to inherit as a natural born descendant of you?"

He cleared his throat. "Yes I understand."

"Olivia, do understand that by adopting Klaire, you will be responsible for her physical, and emotional wellbeing. That you agree to educate her? That you have the same responsibilities under state and federal law as if she were your natural born child? As such, she would have the right to inherit as a natural born descendant of you?"

She took a deep breath answering on exhale. "Yes."

"Let the record show I'm sending the decree over to be signed by the parents."

Kelly's hands shake as he signs his name.

He slides the paper to Liv. She quickly gives him a smile and wipes her teary eyes as Klaire makes a grab and a miss at the shiny pen.

"No ma'am." Liv reprimands gently taking the pen and signing her name with a smile mirroring Kelly's.

"From this moment forward the child shall be known as Klaire Katherine Eliza Severide. As it is now her legal name."

The paper is sent back to the judge to sign. "Mara, are you still a notary?" he directs to her mother behind them.

"Yes."

"Would you like to notarize your granddaughter's adoption decree? There by making it legal." He inquired with a grin.

"Yes." Her mother came over to the bench and she looked everything over and stamped it Klaire bored with Kelly reached for Liv.

Liv took her and Klaire stood in her lap.

"This is largely ceremonial now, but Olivia and Kelly Severide are now the official and legal parents of Klaire Severide." The gavel bangs down.

Liv kissed Klaire's forehead and Kelly leaned in to kiss them both.

"You can applaud, cheer, and hug your newest family member." The judge directs at the crowd behind them.

They erupt and the fear Liv has held at bay for month's turns to relief and she can't hold it in. She sobs.

"Liv honey…" Kelly said quietly.

She can't stop crying long enough to tell Kelly she's ok. She can feel her dad kiss the top of her head. She knows it's him by his cologne.

"No one's going to take her away now." She said trying to suck in her tears. "She's ours now…"

Kelly is confused and slightly frightened. "Baby its okay… just take a deep breath. It's a happy day Livvy I don't understand baby."

"She's relieved… she doesn't have to be scared now." Cole clarified for her.

With Shay's death Kelly had refused to let in the fear he could lose even more and he'd come close lately and not just with Klaire but with Liv too. At the realization tears spring to Kelly's eyes too.

He kissed Klaire as Liv pulled herself together. "I'm good. You?" she kissed him and she gives him a glittering a smile like she hadn't just had a meltdown. He kissed her back smiling in return, pregnant Liv was oddly fascinating.

"I'm perfect Babe. Wanna grab the judge for a picture?" He asked.

"Is my makeup runny? Do I look pregnant?" Kelly can't help it he laughs.

"Baby…" he starts but then sees both of their fathers and Herrmann making various faces and no gestures. "Never mind! You look great Honey." He amended.

-/-

"Why're we here? I need to pee." Liv said as they pulled up to the park near their house.

"I don't know, I just followed Viv's instructions." Kelly replied.

"There are balloons. With our faces on them." Liv's tone implies disbelief.

They get out and walk to the pavilion of Klaire's favorite park giant puzzles pieces dot the area and pictures too. Kelly is caught of guard by one of Shay and Klaire in the firehouse.

"You alright? She'd be happy today. She'd be happy for you that not only have you found your person but you found your family." Vivi walked up beside him.

He nods unable to speak of Shay. "The puzzle pieces? I don't get it." He asked as he read notes to them scrawled on one of the puzzle pieces.

"Klaire she was your missing piece until today."

They hear Olivia squeal loudly as Owen, Lang. and Liam attempt to tackle hug her. Grady stands off to the side. "I do not hug, I refuse on the basis that physicality makes me uncomfortable. I am not affectionate adoption day tradition aside. I simply refuse." He laments mostly to himself.

"Hey watch it! Be careful, of the baby!" Kelly gripes and moves to rescue her even though she doesn't truly need his help taming her brothers.

Erin walks up to Kelly and takes Klaire without asking. There's a younger man following her. "You sure He's Livvy's cause that is a cryin' shame if he's straight." The young man muttered making Kelly self-conscious.

"Yes he's very much mine and so is the baby Erin just stole. Get off me fuckers!" Liv yells the last part of the statement. They release her but not before Owen gives her a wet Willy. "That is so disgusting and juvenile Owen! Hey Teddy! It's good to see you back in town!"

"It's good to be back I think."

Vivi whistled through her teeth. "Everyone gather up." Once everyone was assembled she brought out a cake matching the party décor. "Adoption Days are a huge deal in my family similar to our birthday days. Livvy and Klaire share one! There are 27 candles marking the years of Liv's adoption and one for Klaire. We don't sing or make wishes. Instead we use the candles to remember our blessings." They lit the candles. "Erin give Liv her baby back."

Liv took a second to just remember the moment before blowing out her candles. When she felt more than saw Kelly's hand shoot out to keep Klaire from destroying the icing she has to laugh. Klaire makes a pouty face. "This works on me. Blow out the candles." Kelly demands. Liv blows out her candles but leaves Klaire's burning.

"Can you blow it out baby?" Liv asked as Klaire just stared mesmerized by the lone burning stick.

"I'll do it." Kelly said bending to kiss Klaire's head before blowing the candle out.

Vivi continued. "I just have one more thing to say. I think it's rather obvious our family is not defined by any one thing but love. Uh the first time I stepped foot in Mom's kitchen I knew I was home. Then my sister rolls up to me with more confidence and spark than any ten year old should have and says. "I'm Livvy, I'll be your sister for as long as you are here and oh yeah don't touch my wheels." Everyone laughs at that.

Vivi forges on." I have re learned recently that love and people can be…Shit…" Vivi wiped her eyes. "I'm crying, I loathe crying. " Vivi tried to gather herself but as she went on her voice shook.

"Anyway, I learned that it can be taken from you. Then all my siblings, my sister especially, reminds me that sometimes love grows and lives forever where ever it's planted. I just have to take a minute and say thank you to you Livvy because even in the chaos of your life you pick me up, put me back together and keep reminding me that real love is possible at all times. Thank you, I am really proud of you for doing the things that scare you to reach your dreams. I know you're going to be the best Mom because you're a really excellent sister." Vivi finished still weeping.

Liv handed Klaire off to Kelly and moved the chair to stand to hug Vivi. "I am so unbelievably proud to see you doing the things you love again. I know somewhere up there Shay's smiling on you and is proud too. Thank you for bringing Klaire into the tradition is such a fantastic way!"

"My mascara is totally wrecked." Vivi sucked a breath.

"Nah, Still beautiful I promise." Liv wiped Vivi's eyes before kissing her cheek.

"Damn it Viv!" Lang calls out they look over and he's crying too.

"My turn!" Cole calls out.

"Oh God help us. Okay, its Tess' fault she handed him the microphone." Liv muttered to Vivi.

"Ollie Girl."

"Daddy." She returned guardedly.

"Don't worry I'm not going to reveal anything highly personal like your burning desire to marry that girly looking kid from Titanic when you were in the eighth grade? Or the time you cried when I told you your favorite skirt was made from cows when you were ten."

"DiCaprio is still fine." She justified without shame.

"He got fat Livvy." Kelly points out.

"He's jealous…." Cole chuckled "When that building fell on my girls afterward Kelly said he wanted to take Liv home but he had no intention of marrying her, little more than a month later he was asking me if he could marry her. So, I could understand Liv's hesitancy in taking in Klaire at first. Until he told Liv he felt like he was looking at their child. It brought a lifetime of precarious destiny full circle. I said the exact same thing to my Mara when we met Livvy." He looked at Liv and smiled. "Life will always scare you more than it comforts but there beautiful things in between the fears. No one can take her. She's yours love her and do your best and it'll all be fine." He tossed her a little box. "Your present." He kissed her cheek. "No cryin' now."

Liv opened the gift. Inside the velvet box lay a charm with a tiny hand print on it colored in by a deep blue etching. "The blue etching is Klaire's fingerprint." Her dad said as she read the inscription on the back. "Ollie and Klairey forever connected. August 4th 2014

He handed Klaire a tiny box. "And her present. There rest are on you from here on out Kelly."

Klaire shook the box and chewed the paper. "Can Daddy help?" she looked at him and gave an irritated scream.

"Sorry honey, you can't open it with all three off the teeth in your head."

He gently took the box and opened it. Inside was a tiny engraved bracelet. I was born: February 1st 2014, I came home forever: August, 4th 2014.

"Look baby, your own shiny thingy!" he put it on her. "And I did get you a gift we just have to pierce your ears first. In that pink bag, that I know you are dying to tear into just for the tissue paper has matching earrings same as Mommy's. And a journal from the Mommy but hello boring. You can't even write."

Klaire babbled back at him.

"Do you always talk to her like that?" Katie asked.

"Like what?" she glanced at his sister as he hitched Klaire up in his arms.

"Like she's adult and fully understands you?" Katie asks laughter coloring her words.

"Yes, it helps them acquire verbal skills faster. I read it in a book okay? I read!" Kelly replied.

-/-/=

Toward the end of the party she finds Kelly sitting alone flipping through the journal her mother had bought for them both. It was filled with her observances of them as a family. Liv was carrying forward the tradition as well.

"Hey husband, can I cuddle up?" he nodded and helped her transfer into his lap. "You're awful quiet baby. You alright?" She asked.

He confesses his thoughts looking into the middle distance. "I miss her. She wanted a baby and we were going too… but then I met you and my life changed. I will never regret it; because God do I love you. I'm just sad she never got that. That there is no piece of her left behind."

"There are pieces of her left behind. In every person who remembers her, misses her, or had the privilege of loving her."

He looked hard at Liv he was trying to imprint this moment on his mind. "I know, still sucks though."

"I know I'm sorry baby."

Kelly buried his face in her shoulder and took a moment to gather himself before he started crying. Liv played with the tiny curls at the nape of his neck. "I hope the baby has your curly hair." She said with hopefulness that makes joy bloom on Kelly's face in the next moment.

"Yeah? Klaire totally digs Pop." Kelly said and Liv followed his gaze to where Benny had stopped mid swing push to talk to Klaire as the sun went down. Klaire looked up at him clearly perplexed.

"Oh look at that face. She's thinking, he looks like Daddy, sounds like Daddy, but totally is not my Daddy! What is this black magic?"

"I don't look like my Dad." He defended. "Pop push before she blows a gasket."

"Yes you do. It's okay though Babe, you'll age well Benny's not bad lookin' I'm good with it." Liv teased back.

"I don't." he became indignant.

"You do it's even worse when you talk shop. You have his mannerisms too." She kept on for the fun of it.

"Okay, okay stop rubbing it in." he sulked.

The conversation suddenly got serious. "It's okay to admire his good qualities Kelly."

"He was a shitty husband and a worse father." Kelly muttered lowly.

"Not wanting to be those things made you a great father Kelly. You aren't the best communicator but I know you love me at all times. You're a great husband Kelly. I know today was emotional but you were there Honey, you kept your promise to me in spades today. I was so proud of us today." She told him. Brushing his hair back.

"Me too, here comes Grady maybe if act like you don't care he'll hug you." Kelly commented.

He glanced at Liv then talked to the concrete floor. "Sissy…I mean Olivia, Mom said I have to work on expressing myself more so I just wanted to say I think you will be satisfactory parents and I'm glad for you." He kissed her quickly on the cheek. "This is as much affection as I feel I can manage at this present time. Now can Kelly take me for a drag in the car?" He said in a rush,

"Sure Bud," Kelly stifled his smile and lifted Liv from his lap. He slid her back on to the seat. He kissed her quickly. "I shall return."

"With my brother in one piece." Liv reminded him.

"Didn't you hear him I am satisfactory I got this." He gives her a smile so bright for a second all her worries lift.

She watches them walk off. Grady busy trying to shrug off Kelly's hand on his shoulder.

Erin came to sit on Liv's lap. "How was your day Bestie? I brought you cake." She waved it under Liv's nose.

"My day was the stuff of dreams. How was yours?" Liv returned quietly as Erin took a bite of cake the handed the fork to Liv to do the same.

"Your Mom and Dad tried to foster my brother; they couldn't because of our connection. They assumed I knew Teddy was being fostered and trusted the system." She replied with melancholy.

"I'm sorry E,"

She sighed. "Don't be, life is what it is and I just gotta keep at it til I hit dream status."

"And you will Erin."

Erin said with a wide smile. "Today was good. I love you."

"Today was great, I love you too."

They sit there in companionable silence all cuddled up together until Kelly returns with a sleepy Klaire on his shoulder. . He gives them an odd look." Time to return the wife Lindsay." He commands.

"I had her first." Erin retorts making Liv snicker.

"Yeah well…I married her so there."

"He's sexier and he's my ride home. My kid looks done for. I'm ready to blow this beautifully decorated pop stand and put on my sweats. He wins, Get off me Slutbucket." Liv settled the quarrel.

"Ugh fine Doc McTrampy." She got up. "I'm taking the cake." And she walked off.

-/-/-

Before they are even half way home both girls are sleeping. Klaire cuddling up with her own Adoption Day bear Mr. Stuffy II. Liv snored softly leaned on the car door. It makes him smile, really and truly for the first time in months he is perfectly happy.

AN: obviously I'm doing my own twist on Brittany Baker. I own nothing but Liv her family and Klaire I do not own anything of the shows plot lines I just tie it all in. Lastly if you enjoyed please tell me! The edit for this was horrible! Thanks again for your continued readership!-MM


	25. Chapter 25

"So I got offered a Fed job. " Erin said as she sipped her coffee. Liv's eyes whip up to hers.

"Do what?" She asked as they move forward in the food truck line.

"My own task force, I get to choose our focus points."

"You gonna take it?"

"I'm not real sure, I'm considering it."

"You'd be a fool not too at least consider it. I mean I know you love and respect Hank I do too…" She paused to order. "Clam chowder please. Veggie sandwich for my date."

"But-"Erin starts.

Liv held up her hands. "Don't yell at me! But you gotta decide if you're cool being the Robin to his Batman for the rest of your career and yes, I know that he gave you the job but you got the attention of the FBI on your own merit E. On some level as long as you work beneath Hank you'll be viewed as his daughter because well you are his daughter."

Erin huffed. "You're a bitch when you're right you know?"

"But ya love me."

"I know I do! Hi Erin." Kelly said as he hugged a startled Liv from behind.

She looks over her shoulder and grins. "Did you cut the line to get to me?"

He kissed the crook of her neck. "Hey lover, yup I did. Klaire has the sniffles fix her."

"Fix her? What is she a genie? Erin sniped.

"Where is she?" Liv clarified with a bit of a scowl.

"In the car with Rainey I just needed to know what to do to fix her sniffles and snotting." Liv had taken a friends shift so Kelly was solo parenting for the day.

Liv laughs at Kelly's utter confusion she can't help it. "Dimetapp. My love, just give her some cold medicine."

"Really?" He said surprised.

"Really Kelly that's all." She took out her script pad and did the math to figure out dosage and the proper prescription for her condition and symptoms. "Fill this." She signed it tore it off and placed it in his hand. "I love you, call me if anything gets worse or better."

He took the script. "Got it." He leaned down and kissed her once, twice, a third time as a woman behind them gives them a tired eye roll. "I'll bring you dinner. "

"That a euphuism?"

"Real food sex optional." He with a glimmer in his eye Liv hadn't seen a while.

She laughed softly watching him walk away. "Bye Kell."

"See ya later Boo!" She growled at the use of his favorite pet name for her. He laughed. "Love you Liv, have a good day."

"Love you back." She returned as he spun around to leave.

"Sometimes I look at you and Kelly and I wonder how it works for you. I'm jealous, No way could Owen and I just let the other be who they are…. I just if I took the task force thing? I could start over." Erin said grabbing their food.

"Do you wanna start over or do you just want to stop wanting to be in love with him?" Liv glanced at her while paying out.

"Damn it!"

"Yup I just get you." Liv said as the found a table in the warm sun and parked it. "That's why Kelly and I work E, we want to be in love. It's not something I ever fought with it just is." She stirred her soup with a goofy smile on her face.

"He follows with his eyes wherever you go, if you're dressed to the nines or frumpy. He thinks you are as awesome as I do. It'd be the only thing that made leaving you bearable. I can trust him to take care of you. "She said kindly as she bit in to her sandwich,

Erin's eyes get big as she speaks with her mouth full. "Ooh that reminds me I gotta borrow that one dress of yours the maroon short sexy yet classy thing you used to snag Carver at the fundraiser thingy."

-/-/-

Brittany had followed Kelly to the hospital and then found herself drawn to the redhead's conversation she sat some distance away with her back to her. She listened as the woman prattled on about her life blah, how much she loved Kelly which Brittany didn't buy at all and someone named Carver…

-/-/-

Liv shook her head defensively. "I did not "Snag" Carver. I was more snagged than snager. "

"Whatever I need the dress for an undercover thing." Erin sipped her drink and eyed faceless blonde whose body language told Erin the woman was listening in awful hard.

"Fine… you have a key just go get it, I have a wheelchair Zumba class with Sylvie tonight she says I'll love the instructor." Liv Ladled up some soup.

Erin snickered. "They have that? Wheelchair Zumba is a thing?"

"Not sure, I just know Sylvie has that whole lost puppy that needs friends thing and I just remember feeling the same way when I first got with Kelly I mean everyone was skeptical of me and I'm almost positive there was a pool to see how long we'd last at one point."

"Yup, but don't worry. I put down for until one of you die." Erin smiled at her widely.

Liv shrugged. "Sometimes I wonder what Kelly sees in me."

"So do I." Brittany muttered to herself.

"It's simple Livvy; he sees the same thing I do. His best friend who'd do anything for him."

-/-/-

Kelly goes into the firehouse determined to stay on task and not get distracted but it's the first time both of the girls are sick and he has to leave them at home. Liv had gotten food poisoning and Klaire had a pretty heavy summer cold.

He walked into the common area texting Liv. "Hang tough babe, just until I get back."

A few minutes later his phone buzzed. "In the bathroom trying to clear Klaire's lungs with steam. I think it's turning bronchial on us. Also, I think I hallucinated."

He called her. "What do you mean hallucinated? That's not normal for food poisoning."

"Klaire's stuffed alligator tried to feed me bananas ok? I think I'm dehydrated." She explained.

The alarm ping over his head. "Shit! Baby, I gotta go. Drink my PowerAde's ok."

"Nasty." She whined the noise bounced off the bathroom tile and echoed back to Kelly a bit.

"I know, just do it. I love you." He ordered

She sounds drowsy to him in reply. "Be careful. Did I say that? Be careful. I love you."

-/-/-

She and Kelly were just meant to be she knew it. He might not know it now but he would soon enough. Their second meeting in Vegas had been pure fate in Brittany's mind. Sure Kelly needed convincing away from his poisonous bitch wife but she merely needed one tiny second a singular opportunity. A fire would do nicely. She'd picked up a scanner in hopes of not having to set one herself. She didn't get off on being rescued like the redhead. "Crippled whore." She muttered.

The scanner called out to his squad. It was destiny bringing him to her again.

When she goes to the fire she has every intention of just watching until she hears his voice over the radio. So she runs up to the scene. "Chief I'm Kelly Severide's girlfriend… I tried texting him, can I talk to him just to check in."

Wallace looked at the blonde. "He has a wife honey, I know her well."

"Yes well, no one knows about us yet," She retorts as she gets shoved behind yellow crime tape.

"Stand behind the tape and let the man do his job." He said and walked away. "Either the boy's crazy or she is." He muttered to himself.

Kelly is safely back on the ground and headed for the truck. "Chief let's not tell Livvy I almost fell out of a copter stranded on the roof today." He said with a genuine smile.

"And the girlfriend? What should I tell her?"

Kelly glanced at him oddly. "Only girl I got is Livvy. There could never be anyone else. You hit your head chief?" He asked grabbing the truck door.

"Pretty blonde over by the tape said she was your girlfriend."

He turned to confront who he knew had to be Brittany but she was gone. "No one's there Chief. Look I had to work so hard to just snag Liv's attention I will never need anyone else. She holds more than my attention. I ain't all Severide." He said sliding up into his seat,

-/-/-

When they pull in from the fire they find Liv sitting inside her truck waiting on him. The fact that she looks like hammered shit and he still thinks she's gorgeous, that he even wants to force feed her chicken noodle soup until she feels better tells him just how deep in love he still is. "Hey Baby."

"I got called in something about over flow from injuries from the downed copter on the news. Are you okay? Was it your call? I tried to find the truck and never caught it." She looked him over with her critical doctor eyes and even tired from sickness the look makes him feel squirmy inside.

"It was but I'm fine how are my sickly loves?" He asks waving at Klaire who sneezes in reply from the backseat.

"I wanna die and She's about to cough her little head off. Look I gotta go but I need you to take Klaire until Lindsey can come get her. She needs a neb treatment too." Liv yawns.

"Erin's coming?"

"Owen's wife Lindsey not Erin Lindsay."

"Got it. You look hot Doc, in a death warmed over zombified kind of way." He flirts.

He leaned in the window. "Kiss me woman!"

"I'm sick… I don't feel like it." She pouted.

"Liar, Liar, Lab coat on fire." He sing songed

"I'm never eating clam chowder form the food truck outside the hospital again."

He cupped her chin in his hand and planted a hard kiss on her mouth. "You were puking when I left I didn't get my goodbye kiss so there."

He opened Klaire's door pulling her still in the car seat from the truck. "Hiya Klairey Girl." She just stared at him with tired slightly glassy eyes. "You are a sick girl huh? No smiling? Man you're getting heavy. Say bye Mommy. Bye Livvy, hydrate."

"Will do. Remember her meds and breathing treatment. The roids will make her twitchy and fussy. You got this?" She asks as she stars to pull off.

"I got it Hun, Love you."

"Back at you have fun with the extra Klaire/Daddy Face time." She smiles at them and backs out driving toward the hospital.

He sat her on the coffee table preparing to lift her out of the seat. Pouch jumps up to play with his friend. "Back Pouch, good boy sit… you can look, no licking though she's sick." Pouch cocked his head then wandered back to Mouch.

He lifted her out of the seat. Her back is sweaty. "Whooo, you hot girlfriend? You're drenched. Wanna go change? Daddy will get you dry. You wanna smile? No? It's okay…"He stood swaying with her. "I'm sorry you're sicky." he kissed her chubby cheek. He hadn't shaved and she fusses. "I'll stop! I'll stop; I know scratchy faced Daddy is no fun… I sorry." He turned to find the entire house staring at him. "What?"

"Ignore them Kelly. Can I hold her?" Gabi asked holding out her hands with a bay fevered expression that looks as though it about to give Casey the dry heaves.

"Here Gabi you can try but she gets clingy sometimes." He said kissing Klaire's long dark baby curls. He hands her to Gabi.

She lasts all of thirty seconds in Gabi's arms before she cries and fusses for "Dada"

Liv says Dada is just baby babble and not a real word but he thinks she's jealous because she hasn't said Mama yet.

She cries in a high pitched frustrated wail. "Dada! Buhh… Dada." Her face turns red as she screeches again.

He moved into her sight line. "I'm here, right here… "When that doesn't work he decides to take her back. "Okay gimmie Gabi before we get a baby hulk out."

He takes her and she rubs her tear and snot covered face and rubs it on the shoulder of his shirt. "Thanks Klaire…" he muttered.

"Pay back for handing her off." Herrmann said as Kelly walked back to his locker to get the spare things he keeps for Klaire and his spare shirt.

He took her to his quarters and laid her on the bed and changed her clothes. He talks nonsense to her as he dresses her in a black onesie with pink fire trucks on it. Then he forces her meds down her as she screams at him. "I know, you can hate me gotta be done baby. It's gotta be."

Her breathing is getting a bit too wheezy for his liking. He picks her up and is carrying her in to the common area to get Gabi to help him with the breathing treatment when he feels her heart go crazy against his chest. Then seconds later she goes limp in his arms.

Klaire! Klaire wake up, come on Klaire…." When he can't wake her his heart drops. "Gabi! Mills!"

Mouch is closest on the couch. He gets up and rushes over as does everyone else. Kelly never screams like that, in fear. "I think she fainted, she's not breathing very well…" He said panicky as he clutched his baby.

"Kelly I need you to look at me." Gabi said gently. "Give her to me, come on…" She coaxed as she can feel Kelly starting to flip the fuck out.

"Can I carry her please, I can, I can do it." He begs and she nods as they run for the ambulance.

Gabi rushes into the ambulance. "Brett drive. Mills with me." She commands.

"GO!" chief yells.

"Her resps are really shallow Gabi. I can barely feel them." She points to the gurney and Kelly gently laid her down his child looking super tiny on the big clean white and yellow bed. "Her heart it's like a hummingbird is trapped in her chest." His hands are shaking and no one bothers to comment.

Matt said. "We're right behind you." He slammed the door shut and they were off.

"Can you tell me what we're dealing with Kelly?" Mills asked. Taking her vitals as Gabi monitored her up. "Come on baby girl hang tough…just keep breathing okay?" Pete said low and gentle as Kelly had seen Liv do before.

"A really bad cold. Liv said it was starting to sound like bronchitis but wither being on so many meds she wanted to try to steam out the congestion. Too many meds causes reactions, she told me to give her a nebulizer treatment, I was going too, and I just wanted to change her first she was playing… She was just playing a little bit so…" He said clearly frazzled.

Gabi cursed. "Damn it, she's in tachycardia. Kelly you might wanna look away I gotta shock her."

"She's eight months old…" he said voice strained from holding his tears in.

"Look away man." Mills advised sympathetic pain etched on his face.

He looked away wishing to anywhere else as Gabi called for the lowest voltage to be used on Klaire.

The thing whines and then discharges. "And I just lost respirations. Step on it Brett." Mills demands as Gabi starts an IV line.

"Cardio pulmonary failure isn't uncommon in Ebstein baby's Kelly. She's going to be fine." Gabi said. "Up side? I got normal sinus rhythm back."

"Why didn't Liv tell me?" He asked

Gabi glanced at him quickly. "Tell you what Kelly? What good would it have done for you to know a common cold could take her down?"

"I would have done the fucking treatment first thing like she told me." Kelly retorts in a near shout.

"It's going to be fine." She said again.

Tired of being placated as fear swarms his insides this time he does scream. "Gabi! You aren't a parent don't fucking tell me its fine like I'm overreacting as Mills crams a tube down my baby's throat ok? Don't its fine me! She has bad heart!"

Brett cuts in. "We're here."

They unload and of course the first person to greet them is Liv. "Clear Bay Three for me. What do we- Oh God…What? Oh God…" Kelly can see the moment Liv's heartbreaks and fear fills those eyes he loves. He steps toward her but she's chasing after Klaire the second the gurney wheels hit concrete.

"I've got this Severide! Page Jason…" her superior cut her off.

"Arata that's my baby!"

"Exactly. Let me work!"

Kelly wrapped his arms around her from behind effectively pining her arms to her sides so she can't follow them. "Let them go Baby." He said into the crown of her of hair as he kissed her on top of the head.

"I don't understand." She said softly barely above a whisper/

He cleared his throat as they watch their baby disappear behind closed doors. "Come on let's sit down."

"I am sitting! Tell me!" She snapped at him.

"I'm not really sure. She was clammy so I switched her clothes out and got all the meds down her all of it. I was going to go ask one of the guys to help me do the nebulizer thing and she just went limp in my arms. Her heart rate was so fast… so fast Livvy. I was afraid she was going to die in my arms. "She squeezed his hand in reassurance.

She pushes the chair in swift clean motions and turns sharp to repeat it dawns on him; his wife who can't walk is pacing like a caged line. "The digoxin should have righted the rhythm; did it right itself out once the meds circulated?"

He shook his head. "No, I mean I don't think so they shocked her."

She doesn't seem surprised she'd expected it she keeps up the pushing. "What voltage and how many times?"

"I don't remember."

She waves him off. They had switched rooms but she continued moving like she was scared to stop. "It could be WPW or arrhythmia I'd need to look at her EKG and check wave form; it could be a random occurrence in conjunction with the repertory stress. I'm a shitty mother I should of upper her dosage of Dig got her on proper antibiotics… I should have just stayed home with her I knew Kelly, I knew and I went in anyway."

He stepped in front of her as she rolled across the same strip of carpet repeatedly. "Never knew a crippled girl who paced." He tries to shoot her a soft teasing smile.

Her tone is flat. "I'm awful okay just let me pace."

"No." he lifted her from the chair and hugged her. "I'm bigger than you." when he felt her tense ready to fight his affections.

"I'm smarter than you," She retorts quickly.

"That's okay, it totally turns me on." He returns in her ear. He kissed her cheek, her hair, her temple. He wants her to know he loves her. First, last and always. Placing blame changes the fact that their baby girl's beautiful joyous heart was formed already broken.

He carries her over and sits down on a couch. "Worse Case me Doc." He said seriously.

"Surgery."

"Middle ground?" She swept her messy falling hair off her neck.

"Pacemaker." Her tone is dry, clear, methodical all doctor.

"Easiest?"

"Up her digoxin." She sighed tiredly.

"If you were her doctor what would you advise?"

She stares at him before speaking and he knows he's made a misstep somehow. "I'm not her doctor Kelly. I'm her Mother."

"I know I just…like to know all the angles." He said softly.

"They aren't going to let me treat her. I know you dislike Holmby but he's good." She confides.

Kelly nods kissing her temple. "They stuck us in the bad news room Kell." She said taking note of where they are. Tears clog her throat and flood her eyes nearly brimming over.

"It's just a room baby." He brushed his hand down her hair. "Just a room." He wipes her tears and then wraps her tight in his arms.

Erin walked into the room. She's clueless to Klaire's distress. "Creepy place to make out. I have your dress got it dry cleaned even." Liv just looks at her. "Who died?"

"Klaire had an episode. Her heart… she coded in the ambulance. That's all we know." Liv said.

"Oh my God! I can't believe I just said that…I…" Erin stutters.

"It's fine Erin really."

"No, it's not you're crying." Erin stepped closer to her/

She's not even aware of her tears until Kelly woes them away. She's totally numb. "I'm scared and hormonal. You put your foot in your mouth its fine."

Erin gathered her into a hug completely ignoring the fact that Kelly was holding her. "She is going to be fine she's a tough girl Livvy." Erin squeezed her tight in only the way best friends can do. It's the kind of hug that jams all your pieces back in place.

Liv sighed. "All the things that could be wrong keep going through my head what if I missed something Erin." Her confession falls into Erin's blonde hair.

Erin pulls over a chair and sits directly across from her so close their knees touch as they hold hands. Kelly said nothing he'd had a friendship like theirs he gets it. "Don't think about it, we'll just sit here and not think about the pink elephant in the creepy room okay? " Erin sits still with her for all of five minutes. "Have you eaten? Has it passed? You know what I'm going to go find carver and see if he can give you fluids." Liv nods knowing Erin is an actions kind of girl.

"Hey tell Carve I need a banana bag." Erin nods. She looks over at Kelly. "It's not sexual and involves needles."

Erin returns with Carver in tow. He totes an IV kit. "Jesus you look like shit!"

"Thanks Carver I somehow forgot between my daughter being in peril and being sick as hell how much being attractive for you was oh so important. "She snarls.

"I have to touch her. Try not to be a dick about it this time around." He directed at Kelly. "It's probably, the leak messing with the electrical circuitry of her heart. She's not yet old enough to do the cone procedure at least not here…" He said as he went to work trying to find a vein.

"Carver…This is one of those rare times when the fact that you are smart than me is not in fact sexy."

"I'll shut up." He draws out a needle. "Big Stick…and Flash, try to keep your arm unbent."

"Thanks."

Kelly just stares at them dismayed. "Are you two gonna do the brain sex thing? Because it's confusing and uncomfortable and makes me feel dumb as a fence post." Erin asked.

"Eh her husband's here it wouldn't be right." Carvers reply startles a laugh out of Liv.

"You totally still do it!" Erin said.

"Do what?" Kelly barked.

"Mental connection, it's not sexual or remotely inappropriate." Liv starts. He tapes her up and sets up the IV and drip rate/

"She's the only one who challenges me mentally with the way I approach medicine and patient care. I miss it sometimes you're all set Olivia. If it doesn't stay in your system come find me I'll run tests to rid you of the bacteria via antibiotics."

"Thanks."

"She'll fine Sweets. Holmby is an asshole but he's good." Carver confides tossing his gloves in the trash.

"You only say that because he chased her skirt more than you did Carve." Erin quipped.

"Pleasure as always Erin." He sniped

"Bite me Nerd Boy." She retorted.

"You're my wife." Kelly snarled after Carver left.

"I know." She smiled. "It's sweet when you're jealous Kelly." She kissed him.

"I can't do that thing… whatever it is for you."

"Eww. I feel ya." Erin put in.

"Shut up Erin. You don't need to do that… you do other stuff he could never do and no I don't mean sex." Liv said brightly.

Holmby comes in I've got her stable using meds for the moment but I want a full battery of tests to determine our course of action from this point forward."

"What'd I miss?" Liv asked bright smile gone in its place is a deep, dark scowl.

"She has RSV that's trying to morph into pneumonia. That stressed out her heart causing an arrhythmia. It alerted me to the fact she has Wolff Parkinson White Syndrome as a complication of the Ebstein's Anomaly."

"What's that? Kelly asked.

"An accessory conduction pathway in her heart, it's not meant to be there and alters her cardio rhythm." Holmby answered.

"English please." Kelly said growing tired and impatient.

Liv turned to him. "Babe in order for any heart to beat it requires electrical pulses created naturally in the body when your brain tells your heart to beat."

"OK…"

"And those pulses follow a certain path way to simulate your heart muscle into beating. Klaire's path is altered because she has an extra path due to her heart being malformed in the first place. The anatomy of her heart is different than a normal child's altogether." Liv explained/

"So block the pathway until we can fix the tricuspid valve." Kelly said.

"I need to do some tests first but depending on the severity of the WPW will determine the course of treatment."

"I can see her please let me see her."

"Sure thing Grayne. I had her admitted. Room 602. I'll schedule the testing for tomorrow."

Liv nods. "Thank you."

"No problem."

Liv Kelly and Erin all head for the elevators. Kelly pushes the IV Stand Liv is attached too. When they flood into the room Klaire is standing her crib. "Hi My Baby!" Liv cuts Kelly off to pick her up. "Hey Doll Baby! What ya think."

"There's my Girl." Kelly said smiling widely as he leaned into kiss her. "You guys are gonna get all your tubing tangled." Klaire latched on to him so he picked her up. "You scared Daddy, yes you did?"

"Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61. Tanker accident." His radio alerted. "Humboldt."

"Fuck." Kelly swore. "Don't say things like that Klaire. You know when you can say things." He advises.

"Go." Liv said.

"I rode in the ambo."

"I'll take you." Erin offered.

Liv smiled softly. "Kisses then go."

He kissed Klaire. I always have to kiss and go!" He kissed Liv.

"An old lady might need help across the street Honey. Klaire is stable go."

"That's boy scouts not firefighters!" He clarifies and is gone.

-/-/-

Sometime after his last rescue Liv texted him. "She's acting funny Holmby is rushing the tests. I'm watching the pattern on the monitor… her heart waves seem all kinds of fucked up. I will let you know as we do the Echo and ultra sound. They may do a dye injection to check flow and find the accessory path way."

"Wait! Don't call she's asleep. Just trust me okay? I love you."

He calls anyway. "Damn it Kelly!" she growls out at him.

"Fucking whisper Olivia! I have no clue what you just said!"

"You come here!" she whispered to someone. "I have to fill my husband in. What's your name? Well Calibri you may be a second year res but guess what I'm a fellow so I'm going to go stand right outside the door and explain heart waves to my husband and if her heart goes over five beats faster than what is expected from an Ebstien's Anomaly baby on the digoxin regiment she is currently on and you fail to come get me? I will call the medical ethics board and have your license put into question is that clear? Got it? Good! Now go!"

He smiled listening to her ream someone. "I was wrong Babe, you're not Kepner…you're Bailey."

"Thanks I think. Ok so her heart stopped twice more and…. Wait Kelly! Okay let me finish. Shocking her is going to eventually stop being effective so they will probably burn away the extra pathway to right her rhythm until she is old enough to undergo surgery at optimal strength and growth."

"Not effective? Burn away?" He clarified.

She leaned her head back on the wall. "Eventually her heart won't respond to electrical resetting. She could die, which is why we're rushing the tests to do the ablation quickly. They will insert a catheter into her femoral artery running it up to her heart to inject a chemical that freezes and or burns away the path that's misfiring."

"I don't understand I thought we were a long ways off from surgical correction."

"So did I, Ebstein's is an extremely rare Anomaly. So much so that no two cases are ever the same. Let's just pray the ablation works as a stop gap long enough to hold off the actual surgery. Jason's never done one even under another surgeon. We may have to transfer to the Mayo Clinic cardio branch."

When she hiccups and holds back her tears his heart twist. "Livvy I'm not mad at you babe." He said knowing his wife well enough to know she's piling on the guilt to her delicate shoulders.

"I can't fix her Kelly I'm not some rock star surgeon. I'm just an ER Doc."

"You're something more Livvy, you're her Mom. Listen babe, I will meet you there the second shift is over. I love you. Gotta go."

=/-/-

Liv wakes with a crick in her neck from sleeping in the plastic like bed/chair. She looks about startled unsure of what had woken her. She can hear Kelly humming and shifting his weight on his feet in a little dance in a corner of the room facing the window as he holds Klaire who is smiling at Liv from his shoulder. She bunches his shirt up in her tiny hands.

She makes spit bubbles and slobber slips down her chin on to his collar. "Come on Klairey, just go to sleep baby. More spit and giggles.

Liv groaned giving a satisfying stretch. "What time is it?"

Noon-ish you've been out maybe four hours. Go back to sleep Olivia Blair." He demanded.

She shook her head. "I'll take a shift you've been working." She pulls her hair up and transferred into the wheel chair. She pointed to Kelly. "You sit, Stay." She demanded like he was a small dog.

"No! I cuddle the baby. You sit." He retorted.

She grinned. "I always do. "

"Point taken." He leaned down to kiss her. "Mmmma" Klaire said mimicking the kissy noise.

"Give daddy smooches." Kelly said bouncing her.

"No." she said plainly.

The both of them light up. "That was a word Liv a real one."

"Mama Smooches?" Liv tried.

Klaire's brow furrows with her little eyebrows crunched down. Her bangs falling in her face. "No."

"Well someone peed in her rice puff thingies." Kelly said jokingly.

"Hey Liv!" someone said and Kelly turned and recognized one of Liv's friend's from the bar. A cute little blonde with the hipster looking husband.

"Hey Sarah."

"Arata needs me to sign off on some of your open cases. I need your passcode."

"KKE-1751."

-/-

When Dr. Holmby comes in Kelly freezes. "Hey Grayne, her wave pattern its holding just not in sustainable quantities based on my reading I'd say we do the Chem Ablation today so you can take sweet girl home" He said finally looking up from the file. "Oh hey Kelly. May I see her?" he held out his hands. "Come here Darlin'." She went right to him. "Figures you'd be an easier catch than your mom." He quipped.

When he puts her in the crib she gets fussy. Without missing a beat Liv sings. ""Okay I can say something crazy?"

"Uh uh." Kelly said. "Nope ya can't." he groused.

"I love crazy." Holmby jumps right in and Kelly rolled his eyes until they sang the song pretty damn well and Klaire lets him examine her smiling.

When it gets to the proposal at the end Kelly cut in. "You can't do that even in hypothetical song form." Kelly said to Holmby making laughter bubble out of Liv.

"She's first on my docket. Nothing after midnight. 6:30 am I'll see you guys in the cath lab. Any questions?" Holmby said.

"What's the mortality rate for this? Can I- We I mean can we go back with her?"

"Mortality rate is low, I do this every day. Less than three percent chance of death. No, Kelly you can't go back with her due to the level of sedation needed."

Liv exhales and asks a question too. "Can I carry her back to you so she's not frightened when she goes under?"

"Scrub up, you got clearance just don't stay."

She nodded. "Right don't stay."

"Anything else?"

"Nah Jay I can explain the rest." Liv wanted until Holmby left and exhaled deeply. She looked at Klaire. "For once I wished I wasn't a doctor. I think being clueless might be easier. I just know all the risk and the complications and freak fucking accidents that happen and I can't focus on the good things. "

Kelly looped his arms around her shoulders. "Being clueless is as equally frightening but here's what we know. Holmby is good, not as good as you but good and this has to be done to prolong that little beautiful one's life. So we just breathe and hang on until we're outta this hot zone."

"I feel useless." Liv said tears flooding her eyes.

"Don't because you aren't useless. You're my whole world barring the ankle biter."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, a man went back into a burning building for his wife this last shift? You could tell Matt was surprised but not me… or Herrmann. I'd barrel in there after you a thousand times no matter the cost."

She prodded. "Even when you think I'm being stupid or making you paint the house again?"

He wipes the few tears that had ran down her cheeks. "Every single damn time Livvy."

He kissed her. "Do you two ever stop horniest people ever." Erin teased interrupting them as she walked in. She picked up Klaire. "Hello gorgeous girl! What kind of trouble we causing today? We could toilet paper the nurse's station."

"Stop trying to make her a delinquent. Watch the Cardio Telemetry Leads don't disconnect her."

"Mommy's nervy. P.S. there is nosey ass blonde bitch lurking outside the room."

"I got it." Kelly said leaving.

Erin asked as she watched her best friend closely obviously concerned. "How's it hangin' Liv Lou?"

"I'm scared." She confessed.

AN: I own nada but the Original Characters! As you can see I'm using Brittany in a different manner. Also, the next chapter will pick up where this leaves off. I'm sorry for the delaying updating I've been battling a toothache and a busy schedule as well as half my edits can up unsaved but oh well its done now I hope you guys like it. I've started work on an Agents of SHIELD series so if there is a delay in this that's why! Thanks a ton!-MM


	26. Chapter 26

When Kelly sees a certain blonde sitting slouched in a waiting room chair he has to shove down his anger. He stomps over to her and tries not to scream at her. "I have a wife!"

"But-"she stutters.

"But nothing I have a wife, I'm sorry to have mislead you but I love my wife. You are clearly having problems but I'm not the man to help you. I got drunk and kissed you, but I have a wife whom I adore and a baby who needs me two actually, I have a life and if you keep infringing on it? I will have you arrested. Leave now, please." He orders sternly turning back to Klaire's room.

She looks stricken but leaves.

-/-/-

"I'm taking the Fed Gig." Erin's says as she cuddles Klaire. She watches Liv close knowing she will struggle with this bit of news. "You're the first to know. " Liv stays quiet. "Please be happy for me."She pled.

She gave Erin a bright smile. It doesn't quite reach her eyes. "I'm more than happy. I'm proud of you."

"Then what does that look mean?"

Liv groaned. "It means I've never gone more than week without seeing you. It means you have always had my back and I selfishly don't want you to go."

Erin kissed Klaire's head before replying. "You've got Kelly now, I trust him."

"And I love him…more than anything but in some regards he's not you."

Erin rolled her eyes. "So he'll learn which tampons to buy."

Liv huffed out a laugh. "You goofy bitch that's not what I meant."

"I know, made ya smile though. No matter the distance or timespan it will always be me and you Livvy." Erin retorted in a serious low tone.

"Help me get Klaire out of the woods before you go?"

"Where else would I be Liv?"

"Banging Halsted? It's a free pass." Liv retorted this time with a real grin.

"Liv Lou!"

She shrugged. "Sorry I blame Kelly. He has eroded my brain to mouth filter with his perversions."

"Eh, you're right though…totally on my to do list." Erin plopped down in the chair beside her still holding Klaire.

"To do…" Liv laughed hysterically. "Sleep deprivation always makes me giddy."

Kelly return and stood leaning into the glass door way. "What's so funny Babe?"

Liv looked to Erin while pointing at Kelly. "Wait he's always on my to do list. Does that make Kelly a chore?"

"Nope, you're just married." Erin retorted and Liv laughed.

"Baby you should go back to sleep. You are doing the scary laugh."

She cocked her head up at him entirely ignoring his statement. "I'm going to win the bet."

"Which one we have many?" He clarified.

"The Halsted one. The terms of said bet were material not sexual."

"Shit I owe you Gucci."

"Yes, you will you never learn don't bet against the wife Kelly.

-/-/-/-

Kelly makes Liv go sleep in the bed that is kept for her in the on call room. As it is better for Baby Cinder. Its early enough the morning sky is still an indigo blue color. The sun is still down. He hasn't slept because every time Klaire's heart monitor beeps even a half measure off cadence he jumps out of his skin.

Hospitals are busy even at this hour he thinks stupidly to himself. He misses Liv. He toys with the idea of paging her for company as Klaire sleeps in the crib just behind him. This place is Liv's sanctuary; she loves the hustle and bustle of the hospital. The noise, the chaos, the saves, it keeps her going.

"Do I wake up Liv? Or do I not wake up Liv?" He muttered to himself.

He decides to text her as a middle ground to actually waking her up. "Hi! I love you!"

"LOL! Don't tell me you can't sleep my dearest Douchey."

"Hey! I am not douchey! Well I am but I'm not."

After a few seconds his phone buzzes again. "I could use Owen's nickname which is Dickhead. I'm on my way. I need to pee. You better have fucking coffee."

"Coffee is bad for the baby." He texted back.

"Fuck off you try being pregnant and sleep deprived and constantly sick and deal with a sick baby and see if you let some well-meaning asshat take your coffee away."

He laughed as he typed his message. "You're foul mouthed this morning' I dig it."

"UGH! Whatever. Get coffee."

"I love you."

"Not the point but Okay. I love you more."

-/-/-

She's sitting facing the window when he returns with the coffee. "Some dude at the coffee kiosk named Stevie made your coffee just the way you like it on days like today black and nasty. He also says he's pulling for Klaire."

She groaned. "It's made the rounds."

"It did but they aren't pitying Liv just supportive."

"I know I just can't do anything Kelly!"

"You aren't meant to do anything today Livvy." He handed her the coffee cup and kissed her. "Today you're just meant to be her Mom."

"It's getting close to time. I should go give Daddy my parking pass."

"He texted me, Grady is having an episode they may be late. Benny called though he should be here in ten or twenty minutes."

"This is really minor Kelly." Liv points out.

"I know but he hardly ever wants to be present for me so I'm not stopping him."

"Good. You okay?"

He smiled at her. "I'm…nervous but okay. You?"

"Don't know really…" She confessed. She looked at her feet.

He tipped her chin up and saw tears in her eyes/"I know the unknown freaks you out but it is perfectly alright to not know how you feel about what we have to do today. You aren't being a bad mother or doctor."

"Stand up." He commanded.

"Why?"

"I want to hold you properly. Stand." He said sternly.

She does as he as asks and he wraps her into a hug, "It's going to be fine, put all the bad stuff that can happen away because it's not going to happen to us. She's going to be up and running and playing and fighting with her brother or sister in no time and this it is just going to be distance memory of a scary time."

She hugs him tight in return. "I love you. Thank you." She kissed him on the cheek to avoid morning breath.

"Am I late? Can kiss my sweet pea before she goes in?" Erin said bursting in. sometimes Liv thanked God above for Erin.

"You aren't late E, we haven't even prepped."

Erin stepped into hug Liv and kisses her cheek. "Mornin' bitchface! I brought cinnamon rolls."

"Slutbucket…" Liv retorted as she hugged her and Kelly laughed while digging into the food.

"Your friendship entertains me." Kelly said biting into the cinnamon rolled he'd snatched up.

-/-/-

Hank and Benny show up together just after they have woken Klaire to start surgery prep.

"Hiya Princess." Benny said she waves at hum but stays in Kelly's arms. She rubbed her eyes with the hand not waving.

"Hey there Ladybug. You ready to fight today?" Voight Said.

She yawned and cuddled more closely to Kelly.

They let those present kiss and cuddle Klaire before they go back to the pre-op holding room. Erin is close to tears. "Hey sunshine you got this." She said kissing Klaire's crown of curls.

A nurse leads them back just as Liv phone rings in Erin's hand. "I got it. It's Rainey." Liv doesn't turn she just keeps rolling.

-/-

Kelly watches as Liv calmly changes Klaire's diaper. "Good you peed! Good girl." She talks mostly nonsense. Kelly knows she's trying to just hold up. She changes her into the tiniest hospital gown Kelly has ever seen. It made him feel like crying. "Skin a rabbit!" Liv said pulling the onesie over the girl's head and Klaire smiles.

"You can come closer Baby." Liv said watching him stand at the end of the bed entirely too large for his baby. He stays put. "Kelly just come stand by her I gotta go get the versed dose to relax her."

He said lowly. "It's real now Livvy."

"I know and I'm sorry." She slips off her wedding rings as Kelly moves up by Klaire's head. "Hold those for a second."

-/-/-

"You are my sunshine my only sunshine…" Kelly brushed his fingers through her curls. "Yeah you just go back to sleep, you make me happy…" emotions he can't describe and has never felt bubble up in him.

"Hey Kell… just keep singing she's distracted." Liv held up IV flush and the versed.

"When skies are gray…what is that?"

"It's just to mellow her out. Its fine I use it every day in the ER. He nods at her.

"So please, don't take my sunshine away." He finished trying not cry.

"And done! Thank you Daddy."

She doesn't fall fully back to sleep. Instead just doses in and out. A nurse comes and gets Liv to scrub up when she returns Kelly realizes he's never seen Liv in full surgical gear for some odd reason it makes him relax.

She pulls down the mask and makes sure Klaire sees her. "I'm still Mommy, Klaire."

"Grayne…It's time Holmby said coming around the corner.

"Okay…Well baby, this is where we leave you. You can go no farther than this door." She nodded back at the huge double doors. "You should give her sleep tight kisses."

"Right okay… can I just-"He felt jumbled up. He didn't know how to do this.

"You can hand her to me at the door babe."

"Thank you."

"Hey none of that now, I'm your wife first a doctor second." Liv reminded him gently.

He nods and picks up Klaire. "Okay Klairey, you be an extra big girl for the doctor okay? I know he will take good care of you. You just need to concentrate on your little baby dreams and when you wake up and it'll all be fixed. We'll eat ice cream and I'll even bring your buddy pouch by okay? Just wake up for Daddy. You just- you do that okay? For me okay?" he kissed her. "Okay. I love you."

He hands her to Liv. "I need a blanket from the warmer please." They bring one and she wraps Klaire up. "Can you push? I need to focus on her." Liv asked the scrub nurse.

Kelly watches until they're out of sight. He can see Klaire clutching on to Liv and Liv saying things he can't hear. There is a pause when he can no longer see them and then he can hear Klaire wailing for "Mama" even three rooms away.

His heart breaks for Liv. That this had to be the very first time Klaire called her Mama. She rolls out of the room and stopped for a second in the middle of the hall. She sits facing the wall her head and arms braced on a support beam as she stared at the floor. He's not sure if she's praying or trying to gather her emotions but before he can slip through the door she turns and gives him a glittering smile and thumbs up.

She is tough as nails his LIvvy and man does he love her and her unstoppable optimism.

-/-/-

The Elevator ride to the cardiac surgery waiting area is silent. Kelly knows that in this moment the doctor who knows what must be done is at war with the mother who just wants a healthy child. A conflicted Liv is rare. She has always been solid, this is shaking her.

The elevator doors open. Cole and Mara stand there and something is silently communicated between mother and daughter. "Mom…" Liv whispered trying to hold back her sobs by placing the back of her hand over mouth. It doesn't work as Liv breaks down. Kelly leans down to kiss the top of her head as Mara hugged her. "How do you do this? She screamed Mommy, she's screamed so loud calling my name and I just wanted to take her home. I almost couldn't do it; I almost couldn't lay her there. I can't do that again, I can't… how do you do this Mom? Me? Lang is going to die and Grady and Hadley are going to have hard lives and Rainey… I just never thought about all you do until today? What if I'm not meant to do this…?" She rambled still crying hard.

"Baby you are meant for this if you weren't? You wouldn't be so wrecked right now. You are wrecked because she is your baby and you'll do it the same way I do, with faith and because you have too. You will carry her into operating room after operating room to and from expensive doctors or yes even accept that she may die before you are ever ready to say goodbye because that's the cards ya got baby and who better to love her than you huh? Who better because I don't see anyone else here half as worthy of the privilege of being Klaire's mother than you. So you just do it. That's how." Her mother confided

She sucked back her tears with a wet sniffle. "Right you're totally right I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"Kelly and I promised each other no crying."

He pulled on her ponytail. "Stupid promise neither of us were ever capable of keeping. You cry as much as you need too." He kissed her. "Upside down ones hurt your neck. Sorry. You good baby?" he wiped her fallen tears with his shirt sleeve.

"I'm good." She smiled at him before turning back to her mom. "Is Grady okay?"

"He's fine… just overstimulation and school stress."

-/-/-

When Matt comes in he suggests a walk and Kelly takes him up on it after checking with Livvy that he won't miss anything, When Gabby is not with Matt it strikes Kelly as odd but he just keeps his mouth shut.

"How ya holding up?"

Kelly paused in thought. "Well enough I guess I have to be. Liv she loves with every fiber of her body it's just who she is. It's part of why I love her honestly. The thing is though when you are the smartest person in the room and you have to trust the life of the person you love most to someone else? It shakes you. She's shaken and terrified. It's my turn to hang on and keep her going. It's my turn to be strong,"

"If you need to not be… strong I'll listen."

Kelly shook his head. He's shocked by the sudden tears stinging his eyes. "No one teaches you how to do this. Parenting? Even the mundane choices scare me because…" He choked on his tears. He cleared his throat. "Because I don't want to screw her up. I don't want to screw them up and one has a heart condition and the other it's not even here yet and the odds are stacked."

"Stacked how?" Matt pushed walking a step behind him.

"Livvy's pregnancy won't be without complication. She thinks I don't know but you knock up a paralyzed girl you google shit real fast. I just never thought I'd be a dad much less one who makes the big choices." He wiped at his face. "Benny left the hard things for my mom." Kelly stopped walking for a moment

Casey stayed quiet. "I'm afraid this isn't going to work Matt. He stared out the window of the little walk way they stood in. "And I can't tell her that I don't think I'll make it through losing someone I love again. Not Olivia or Klaire."

"Sometimes the hard choice is the only one you have Severide. You'd be doing Klaire a disservice if you chose the easy thing. Liv is stronger than you think; she'd have to be to put up with your shit! We just have to think positive for Klaire."

Liv rolled up. "Erin cheats at Candy land. Our friendship will survive but I don't think she can survive cheating Tess out of fair game."

"Your friendship with Erin and cockroaches will be the only thing to survive an apocalypse. "Kelly quips.

"And us…" She stopped in front of Kelly and stood. "Matt, Benny was asking after you. Shop talk I guess." Liv said.

-/-/-

"Olivia Blair you cheeky little woman you just got rid of him."

"I did yes." She admitted with a proud nod.

"Naughty."

"Stop flirting with me and talk." Liv said standing up.

"Livvy-"

"We can be scared together you know." She said brushing the hair on his forehead back into place.

He pulls her into a hug. "Okay. I'm probably going to melt down once she is perfectly fine you know?"

"I know." She held him as close as the chair would allow. The noise from the waiting room behind them draws Kelly's attention but when he goes to pull away she stops him. "Can we stay like this for a bit? The only time I feel safe in all this is next to you."

"For as long as you want baby." He replied.

-/-/-

Mara tells Vivi the last place she saw her sister when she finds her she hurries back to her Mom.

"Mommy, they're asleep its cutest thing." She pulls her mother too her feet while grabbing her cell phone.

There has always been a good deal of medical drama surrounding the Grayne family they've learned to take humor where they can find it and sure enough seeing Kelly and Liv standing all cuddled up in hug asleep in the tiny waiting room corner is as sweet as it is funny. Kelly is resting his chin on Liv's head and his mouth is hanging open. Liv is clutched on to him with her face half hidden in his neck and chest. As where Kelly seems to be dosing Liv is out.

Vivi snaps a picture with her phone and the flash wakes them both with a start. They jerk awake Liv nearly loses her balance when Kelly pulls away.

"I drooled on you Kell." She points to the offending drool patch on his grey Henley.

"How long were we out and who saw?" Kelly said looking around a bit frantically.

"About twenty minutes and everyone. Vivi has photographs." Mara answered.

"I won't tell anyone you know how to cuddle Severide." Matt teased.

"Hey I'll cuddle anyone who will have sex with me." Kelly retorted and Liv smacked his arm.

"And there is no denying you're my boy." Benny added.

After a few seconds Liv notices a drastic change in Vivi's appearance. "Viv! Your hair I love it!" gone were the long blonde locks in its place is a sleek edgy bob that totally fit the angles of Vivi's face.

"Really? Leslie, she liked my hair long but the therapist mom recommended told me that a fresh look might help in finding the new me." Vivi said chewing her lip nervously.

"You look gorgeous!" Liv assured her.

Kelly and Liv spend the remainder of the waiting period sitting together Kelly talking to Bowden who'd showed up with Hermann and Cindy. Liv sits in Kelly's lap reading a medical journal. Kelly runs his hand up and down her back occasionally rubbing her neck when she looks exceptionally tense.

Bowden laughs when Kelly can read Liv's expression and finds her something to write on without saying a word.

"She's got the look…find something useful baby?"

"Maybe…clinical trial…" she murmured to him distractedly.

"Grayne!" Holmby calls out and their heads snap up even as Kelly bites down on the urge to tell him her last name again.

"Please say good things Jason." Liv replied a little breathlessly but Kelly isn't breathing much either.

"She did beautifully. You got a fighter on your hands Livvy. Come on back both of you. She's in recovery and babies come out of antistethic fussy. Mom and Dad's presence tends to help with that."

-/-/-

Once Klaire is back in her room standing in her crib jabbering and playing something in Kelly breaks loose and the fear he's held in releases in the form of tears.

"Aw baby she's okay. Liv said gently as she reached out and wrapped him in a hug. "We're all okay." She said. She kissed his cheeks and he tried to suck all of his emotions back in knowing the guys are watching him.

"I know I'm just relieved I guess." He sighed scrubbing at his face. "Life just keeps hitting us ya know."

"Well just tell life she hits like a bitch and keep going."

Kelly laughs. "I love you Livvy. I mean that."

"I know you'd be lost and having indiscriminate wholly unsatisfying sex with half the city without me." She joked still holding on to him.

He shrugged. "Pretty much." He leaned over and kissed her. Her stomach growling broke the moment. "Is that you?"

"I'm hungry…I just didn't want Cafe food."

"I'll see the family out. The ones that'll go anyway and order us a pizza."

"Perfect."

-/-/-/=

"You cheat! Who fucking cheats at Go Fish!" Liv laments.

"I do!" Kelly said smiling at a perturbed Liv. She scowls deeply at him and he just eats his pizza.

"I'm pregnant with your baby and cheating is wrong now gimmie your threes."

"What does being pregnant have to do with anything?" He faked her out as she lunged for his cards.

"Give them!" She said tersely.

"You're very competitive. It's cute." He smirks at her and leans further away.

"Yeah don't play "Life." With her no matter how boring nightshift is." Jason said from behind them.

"You ditched your peg person wife on the bridge Jason." Liv said dryly.

"She talked too much." He retorted.

Liv rolled her eyes. "In your not so humble opinion can I take Klaire home?"

"Yeah. You got a portable defibrillator at home?"

"That doesn't sound good." Kelly said lowly he suddenly felt the need to whisper for some odd reason. Like saying it loudly made it real.

"The WPW can reoccur your wife knows that and if it does? You will want the crash cart on hand." Holmby advised seriously.

"I will buy one." Liv said.

"Are all of her caregivers CPR certified? I know you both use those skills frequently but your baby sister not so much." Holmby asked.

"Vivianne is it's something Shay thought might come in handy. I'll take Rain to the firehouse to have Mills teach her," Liv said.

"I'll steal the pediatric and infant dummies and teach her." Kelly added.

-/-/-

They take her home and sleep for maybe six hours and then they have to leave for their shifts. When Matt asks Kelly if he wants to go for a drink at end of shift he has to suppress his laughter. "I can't believe I'm about to say this but can I check with Olivia first? It's just that Klaire literally just got released from the hospital and Liv and are finally in a good place again I can't be out pickling my liver every night."

Matt sighed. "It's Livvy's world and you're just living in it huh?" He gave Kelly a half smile.

"I'm happy to do so. You and Gab are going to figure this out. "Kelly returned.

"Gab?"

"Liv again, sorry."

-/-/-

Liv's phone rings out Kelly's tone. "Burning Love."

"Sup Kelly."

He kicked back in the bed looking up at the ceiling. "Ha! Did you really just use "Sup" in a greeting?"

"Busy my love." She said shortly.

"Oh okay, I need an excuse not to go for beers with Matt got one handy?"

"You could just say your mean wife needs you for husbandy stuff."

"Such as…"

She sighed. "You have take out the trash? I don't know make something up. You really don't want to go huh?"

"Not really, I'd rather be with you."

"Then just say that."

"I can't!"

"Why not? "She asked,

"I think he and Gabi are on the verge of breaking up."

"Then the bar is the last place he needs. Listen baby, I gotta run. I have multi trauma rolling up. Love you!"

He stares at his phone. She hung up on him. "Love you too Livvy." He muttered to himself.

"She makes you really happy huh?" Brett said while poking her head in.

"She does. Need something?"

"Dinner's ready."

-/-/-/-/-

After shift he politely turns down a flabbergasted looking Matt. "I like my wife and I actually really like having a wife and she's been on me about putting together Cinder's crib for two weeks. Preparedness is next to godliness in Livvy's nook."

"It's cool man."

"Alright, make sure you get home safe. No driving that is what Uber is for according to every woman in the Grayne family adopted cop included. "Kelly clapped him on the back.

"They're all adopted." Matt points out.

-/-/-

"Holy Mother Fucker Kelly!" Liv swore while looking at the laptop.

"What you find my porn? I told you to stay out of the file marked "Not Liv but doable."

"No and eww. This defib is 1200 dollars."

He shrugged. "She's on both of our insurance plans they can't claim preexistence because her condition is congenital let the city pick up the tab."

"And if insurance refuses to cover the model I want because it's the one I'm familiar with?" she counters looking at him intensely.

"I'll buy the fucker. Baby don't sweat it. Click buy and come to bed."

"Right… Gonna make it worth my time?"

"Uh I'm hurt… Did you really ask me that? Race you to the elevator."

-/-/-

"You with your long working legs!" Liv pouted as she lost the race.

"Elevator Sex as consolation?" he said pushing the button to stop between floors. He leaned down to kiss her as she sat frozen. "Baby…"

"Kelly I have trouble with small enclosed spaces since the building collapse please release that button…I can't breathe…" She said carefully.

"Liv honey…"

"Fine I'll do it!" she reached past him to yank the button free.

When the elevator finally lands she scurries off of it and takes a few steadying breaths in the hallway.

"Liv, what's happening here?" He said utterly confused.

"A building fell on me and I have lingering claustrophobia. That's what's happening… just please I'm fine but please don't do that again."

"Liv you shut us in there once." He reminds her

She finally draws a deep breath. "That was before the nightmares returned."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You were not dealing well with the Shay thing and I just didn't want to add more to your plate. Then we were having problems and it wasn't the time."

"Olivia, you always talk to me."

"I know I do. It's just tiny closed up places nothing big. Closets, elevators, certain exam rooms things like that I'm working on it."

"Umm hmm. This is totally working for you!" He said sarcastically.

"Kelly…"

"LIvvy you're on the edge of a panic attack." He tries not to shout at her. It's doubtful it'd help anything.

"Kelly I'd rather not fight as satisfying the makeup sex is I'm too tired to put in a fight."

"I wish you'd told me."He said softly.

"Making going bed worth my while? You took it as a personal challenge just a minute ago."

He picked her up and slung her over his shoulder to carry her to the bedroom. "Is it safe for the baby to carry you like this? It keeps my skills sharp but…"

"It's fine."

-/-

At three am there is pounding on the door and Kelly puts on his pajama bottoms on. "Who the fuck is it?" he muttered walking out of their bedroom. Liv woke up enough to transfer into her chair to watch his back from the landing.

"One of our neighbors better be on fucking fire." She groused back. "I've got you covered if it's a burglar and not a flaming human. I will try not to fall asleep. No promises."

Kelly opens the door to find Matt weaving drunkenly in his doorway. "I'm so drunk I forgot where I live."

"But you somehow remembered my address?" Kelly said dryly.

"Please tell me you didn't drive yourself?" Liv said from the stairs.

"Uber…" he shrugged. "Don't act like you've never been there Kelly."

"Nope never forgot where I lived."

"Just that you were married." He retorted smartly.

He

"Okay Matty is a mean drunk. Kelly go upstairs. I got it." Kelly just looked at her. "I have brothers, I got this."

"Liv…"

"Only I can be mean to you about that. Now go upstairs." He goes upstairs but only to trade places on the landing. He wants to stay close in case Matt falls on top of her or something.

"Go to the couch." She grabs the stuff from the closet to make out the couch. Then she takes off Matt's shoes. "How do you sleep Matty? Can you get undressed yourself?" She said gently.

"I- I messed up. He mutters he stands to strip out of his shirt and jeans.

She averts her eyes for Matt's privacy and out of respect for Kelly, Though you seen one body you seen em all as doctor. "Boxers stay on you hear me Matty?"

"Yes ma'am. I love her you know?" he mumbled.

"Yes, I do know. You are engaged I should hope you love her."

"What made me think we could work together and be together? You and Kelly do fine."

"I'd kill Kelly if I had to work with him." She said with a smile.

'I should call her. Can I borrow your cell mine died." He plops back on the couch.

"No woman wants drunken text at three am filled with misspelled and messy apologies, call her when you're sober. Just trust me… lay back matt." He does and she covers him up.

"You got nice curves hiding under the lab coat Doc."

"Thank you Matt." She laughed lightly.

"Don't tell Kelly I said that."

"Go to sleep Matt."

"Sometimes I see Hallie when I look at you."

"Thought you might…" she tucks him in a little. "There's water and aspirin on the table and your phone's charging."

"You're a good woman Liv."

"Goodnight Matt."

-/-/-

"He was flirting with you!" Kelly accuses when she reached the landing.

His half hidden jealousy makes her smile. "He's drunk Kelly I could tell him you were revirginized by order of the pope right now and he'd believe me. Do not wake Klaire or you stay up with her."

"He's right you know? You're a pretty good girl Livvy. Curves don't hurt either though." He said walking behind her to the bedroom.

She stops in their doorway. "Trying to get laid again are we?"

He shrugs. "I'm awake you're awake. Thank you for protecting my honor earlier."

"Anytime. Morning sex? I'm too tired now. "She offered.

-/-/-

Matt wakes to a slobber laden hand smacking him in the face. He cracks an eye open only to be smacked again by a gleeful looking Klaire. "Mornin' Klairey Kate. "

"Dada!"

"Not Daddy." He muttered.

"You're a man and you're in Kelly's spot. You're Dada until real Dada takes that spot. Must be a bad hang over I can almost see your headache. You want breakfast?" Liv said with a kind smile.

Matt rubbed his hands down his face. "How'd Kelly snap you up?" He picked up Klaire.

"He was first up the ladder." She quipped.

"Real funny Babe." Kelly said descending the stairs. "Wanna ride together to work? I'll fry the bacon if you wanna make toast. "Kelly offered.

"I need to mash up some bananas for Klaire but sure."

"You guys still do that even though you have to turn around and go back the other way?"

"It's a way to spend a piece of our day together." Klaire squirms to be let down and races over to Kelly on all fours.

"She ditched me."

"Welcome to my life." Liv muttered as Kelly picked up Klaire. "And it's not even Kelly I'm always ditched for. Sometimes it's Owen or my Dad, Benny, even got ditched in favor of petting Grady's hair once." Liv laments.

Kelly is dressed for work and standing at the island counter with Klaire on his hip. "Hey the boy has got good hair and he didn't flinch away when she touched him so there is that? Baby how do I turn on the electric skillet?"

"The on button." Liv said in a dry tone.

"You sure you wanna make babies with that?" Matt teased.

"Too late."

-/-/-

Kelly and Liv get into her truck and she starts the engine "Grind with me." By Pretty Ricky blares out. Kelly looked at Liv utterly confused. "Who are you and what did you do with my wife?"

"Erin was last in the car she got radio control so we went a little old school for old time's sake." She replied and took to the road.

"Not dealing with prospect of her leaving well are you?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." Liv said primly adjusting her rearview mirror at the nearest stoplight.

"Why?"

"Because if I talk about her moving to DC I'm going to cry."

"She may stay at the satellite office and commute when she needs too. Baby I don't think this means your friendship will change at all. That uncomfortable sexual tension to between her and your brother at family dinners is here to stay Liv."

Her laughter fills the truck cab. "Thank you Kelly."

"I'll be your reality check with dirty humor any day my baby." He retorted.

When the radio switches to "California Love by Tupac." And Liv raps along perfectly it flat out makes Kelly's day. He slyly video as she drives to the firehouse.

"I just want you to know that something about the fact that you know the lyrics to this is a major turn on." She turns to find him taping her.

"Kelly!"

"Not Sorry."

They arrive at the firehouse quickly. He helps her to pin her rings to her scrub top. She can do it herself he knows that but he likes doing it. Carrying forward their little routine. He leans across the console and kisses her quickly but firmly knowing as tempted as he is to linger and kiss her again she'll be late to work. "I love you."

"Love you too! As always be careful Kell."

"You know it baby." He gets out of the truck and goes around to Klaire's side he opens the door and leans into kiss her goodbye too. Landing a quick kiss on her forehead. "Bye Klairey Katherine…Daddy loves you."

"Same goes for Cinder." He says just see Liv grit her teeth.

"That is not the name!" She screeches at him in mock frustration.

He closes Klaire's door and goes over to Liv's window leaning in to kiss her again. "Then we need to find out the sex so we can name it properly." He says kissing her again. "You should go."

She kissed him this time. "I should. Love you best of all Kell." She starts up the truck again and rolls off rap blaring.

If the guys notice him humming along to "California Love." All day they don't mention it.

-/-/-

Sometime later He hears Gabi and Casey screaming at each other. "Did you sleep with her?" Gabi screams.

Kelly sticks his head out of his personal quarters. "What's going on…?" He watches a blonde girl he remember s as "Nat" She's one of Liv's favorite students. "That's Liv's intern. He didn't sleep with anyone he hit on my wife and slept on the couch and then he forgot his phone. Vivi brought it too Liv. Liv had a trauma and sent the little doctor instead I just got off the phone with her."

"Oh so now you hot on my married pregnant friends?" Gabi countered

"Gabi you're being unreasona-forget it." Kelly said when she shoots him a dirty look and went back to his room.

"When did Kelly get so freaking secure." She snarls.

"When I figured out if anyone tried to steal her they'd give her back. She'd break her poor little Matty." He called from his quarters.

-/-/-

"Severide, talk to me." Liv says into the phone.

"Hey Baby…Donna's having her baby in the back of the rig,"

"Cool…"She doesn't even try to hide her doctor-ish glee.

"You're on speaker Liv." Kelly said trying not to laugh.

"Shit sorry! Do you need me to walk you through it?"

"When was the last time you delivered a baby Olivia?" Chief Boden interjected.

"Lakeside Emergency Room, Twins about six months before I met Kelly. Delia and Delilah Stockton. Do you need help Chief?" She said rotely.

"I got it."

"I'll meet you outside what's your ETA."

"Bout five minutes we're stuck in traffic." Kelly answered.

"Consider this your practice run Kell."

"You are not funny. I don't want to deliver it."

-/-

When they pull up Kelly jumps out to greet her with a wide smile "Hey beautiful." He said before turning to help Chief gingerly move Donna from the rig.

"

Hey Donna, lay on the gurney for me…this is Natasha my intern on rotation today can you hand her …" Liv paused not knowing the baby boy's name. Donna laid down.

"Terrance." She provided handing the baby over begrudgingly,

"Terrance for a little look see…Good."

"How're you feeling?" Liv asked the other woman with a bright smile.

"Uh Doc Sev?" Natasha says wearily.

"Yup,"

"He's not breathing, Meconium aspiration?" Liv rushed over.

"It's likely… Someone tell Neo we're coming straight up. You continue CPR. Someone get me suction and an ET Tube! Now! Lay him there Nat." She takes over CPR for a bit. Until someone brings the ET Tube. It's in before any of them can blink "Ambo Bag." She hooks it on "Take over Go! I'm right behind you!"

She rolls past all of them faster than Kelly has ever seen. "Babe?" Kelly calls out.

"I'll let you know!" and she's inside and on the elevator.

Chief is running behind them and is stopped at the Neonatal doors. "Chief she's the very best at what she does and that's not me being biased its just fact." Kelly says once He's caught up to him.

Liv hands him off to the neonatal team and goes to fill in the boys. "Whoa this is a bit like facing a firing squad."

" She takes a breath. "Okay Wallace public or private?"

"We're a family." Chief says firmly.

"Right! Neonatal isn't my specialty but I can tell you what the initial treatment for Meconium Aspiration is, right now we breathe for him and clear his lungs of the bacteria, Meconium it's sticky and hard to clear but not impossible. Just hang on for a bit okay? And Donna's fine I had her sedated and sent up to L&D."

"Dr. Severide to pediatric ER trauma one." Comes over the intercom.

"Shit! Do you have any questions Wallace?"

"No."

"Okay! " She took a breath. "Shit!"

"We're alright babe. Compartmentalize and go." Kelly said gently.

"Right. I'll keep you updated. I love you! Do not bug Klaire it messes up her day!"

-/-

At the end of shift Kelly rides with Casey to visit Boden and grab Liv so they can go home. Liv rolls up to him looking half dead and really tired. She took her hair down and put her rings back on. "Please no doctor-is questions okay y'all I've literally had the worst shift I've had in ages." She said to the group.

"Stand.

"No I hurt so bad you can squat to hug me."

Kelly leans down and hugs her she hugs back and he kissed her forehead. "Doctor Severide to Pediatric ER Multi-Level Trauma." Comes from above.

"I'm going to cry." She whined. She released him and slide her rings off again and put them in his palm. "Get one of the guys to drop you and Klaire off I'll be awhile." She pulled her hair up.

"Nah I'd rather wait on you. I can make sure ER Gods return you to me in one piece." He kissed her. "You got it baby, you always do. Don't cry."

She fought back tears of exhaustion. "See you in a bit."

He turned to Hermann exhaling noisily. "That always makes me feel so useless."

"It's the hormones and the tough job my man. Not you."

"Not used to that are you?" Gabi said.

"Oh Liv'll cry at the drop of a hat but never at work."

-/-

The lights are out and they're in bed when Kelly speaks looking at the ceiling. "I need to tell you something but I don't want to add to your bad day?"

"As long as you didn't fuck anyone who isn't me you can't make it any worse Kelly today was awful. I had three losses today and that was before Terrance Bowden. The multi-level? A man went after his children with a machete. No reason besides being fucking nuts. So I honestly don't think it can get worse babe."

"We fought a warehouse fire today I bit it pretty hard but got it put out. Turns out it was an arsonist's rat hole stock pile…"

"Okay color me stupid baby but I don't understand." She said softly.

"He had an article the one from the sun I think…it was the one they ran on Shay."

"Kelly…What're you-"Leans up on her elbow to look at him.

"It was tacked up like a trophy. I think Shay's fire was arson."

"I was wrong. That's definitely worse…" She said as she broke down in tears.

He pulled her into his side. "Baby come here… Shhh…it's alright Liv."

"I can't tell Vivi someone killed the person she loved."

"I'll do it if he needs to be done." He replied plainly.

"Kelly I feel like a horrible person because I could have tried harder with Shay I just I didn't because she didn't like me and now because I didn't try I feel like I have no right to have feelings about it or to help you and Viv properly." He words fall into the skin of his chest.

"You guys were coming around; I always knew it'd take time because you two were a lot alike actually. Only differences being you were hot for me." She laughed and it made him smile. "So you feel whatever you need to babe because you help. Every day… you will never know how many times you've saved me these past few months Livvy." He confessed.

"How did this turn into you comforting me Kelly?"

He kissed her temple. "Knocked you up, it's my job to be nice when you cry."

AN: As always I own only the ocs. I know I'm a few episodes behind just please be patient I promise I'll get there. If you liked it please review. This horrendous edit was helped along by Red Velvet Oreo's and Taylor Kinney. Seriously they deserve thank you notes because this shit was hell to edit! Lol! Thanks again for your faithful readership, review, likes, and favorites!-MM


	27. Chapter 27

Liv knows her husband better than anyone, at least anyone still living and once the man has a goal gut feeling he pursues it and she understands more often than not her gut has lead her in the correct direction with life. She understands but she doesn't agree not this time.

"I'm looking that fire over myself with my own eyes." He said watching as she looked for her penlight he'd let Klaire play with it over dinner last night.

"I don't think you should, you need to let OFI handle this Kelly."

He picks the penlight of the cup holder of Klaire's highchair tray. He plunks it in her hand. "And you think this because you have experience right? You aren't a firefighter Liv. You don't understand a thing Liv you can't."

She looks up at him leaning on the island opposite her. "Fine let me tell you what I know! I know that I can't take you going into another downward spiral and leaving me to hold your emotional baggage while you shut me out. That's what I fucking know, that if keep picking at scabs you never heal. Let OFI handle this please?"

"No."

She sighed tossing her head back in frustration. "Jesus Kelly. You can't do it all babe. You shouldn't have too."

"I'm doing this Liv with or with you." She rolls around the island to his side.

"Fine! Why the hell are you such a goddamned hard ass? I'm only trying to protect you Kelly. I'm always with you and you know it but I feel like I just got you back and…" he's not even looking at her now. "And I'm afraid of what it will do to you if she was murdered and I'm afraid of what happens if it is really just an accident if you no one and no where to place the blame but on the job. I love you I have to get to work."

He caught her arm gently before she could roll away. "Livvy?" She looked up at him. "Thanks for looking out for me."

"I'm just trying to save you back. Just one time."

"I carried you down a ladder. You saved yourself you always have. It's scary to me that you can't see that you've already saved me. I don't need a do over Liv I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay, forgive me for sounding like a heartless bitch."

He shrugged. "Shay would of done the exact same thing, I'll do better than forgiveness I'll be careful. You don't even gotta ask this time."

He leaned down and kissed her. "You know I love you. Like a fucking ton?"

"It's nice to fucking know." She laughed "I totally love you immeasurably."

"You also have nice boobs. Pregnancy does interesting things I'm digging it."

She rolled her eyes. "I've got to go. Ride with me?"

He smiled at her full blast and she smirks back. "So I can grind with you? Tempting baby but I need my car today."

"Alright pin me McFireballs and be careful."

"Have fun doing what you do Darlin.'" He pinned her rings on. "Get all the saves."

"Here's hoping." She kissed him and snatched up Klaire and went down stairs shouting. "We love you!" as the door closed.

She comes back in five seconds. "You wanna kiss Klaire?"

He laughs he just can't help it. Sometimes Liv was the nerdiest woman alive but she made him so happy. "Yes I wanna kiss her. Did you really turn around and come all the way back so wouldn't be cheated out of my baby kisses?" He asked trooping down to the ground floor.

"I'm nice like that a good wife."

He took the baby and kissed her. "Put her in the car for you…"

He bids them fair well and they both head off to work.

-/-/-

Liv is having a fairly slow shift so she texts Erin.

"How's your first day as a DEA big shot Fed going E?"

Her phone doesn't even have to vibrate or signal the return is so fast. "Fuck off."

"Really that well…"

"Are you Doctor Severide?" a young black woman says.

"Who's asking?" Liv said glancing up from her phone.

"Maggie Seaver peds nurse . It seems one of the hospital daycare children has the measles and I was sent to you by the hospital to look them over. With your daughter's condition…"

"Did you read her file?"

"Oh no. the day care worker informed me. It's just that with a condition like hers you'll want to limit exposure."

"Yes, I will thank you. Campeonato! I have to go get my daughter and take her to my husband after doing the once over. Can I leave you in charge for ten minutes?" The other woman looks at her oddly but she blows it off and hurries away once she knows her department is under control.

She rolls toward the day care. "Lang!" She says the second her brother picks up. "How high are T-cells? I need someone to watch Klaire because there's a measles outbreak at the hospital and I don't have anyone else to watch her. I can't expose you though if you're counts are screwed."

"She's vaccinated bring her we'll be fine. My counts are as perfect as they've been in ages. It will be fine."

"I'm going to leave her with- hang on." Her phone vibrates and she reads the message.

"Rescue Kit? Sorry I was a bitch.-Erin"

Liv sighed. "Okay so I have to leave her with Kelly. He's got the other car seat. Can you pick her up?"

"No problem and Livvy?"

"Yep."

"Breathe."

"Right…I'm sorry Lang."

"Nothin' to be sorry for Babe. Love you."

"I love you."

\/\/\/

"Kelly around?" Liv asked rolling in with Klaire on her nap.

"He borrowed Gabi and went to check something out can I help?" Matt asked.

"My brother is coming here to get her in fifteen minutes. Measles exposure at the hospital with her heart being as touchy as it is I feel no need to add stuff considering the last cold nearly killed her."

He held out his hands. "I got her. Come on princess wanna watch TV?"

She hands off Klaire and all her things as she leans over to kiss her she feels a sharp pain and sucks in a breath. "You alright?"

"Yeah probably just false contractions. Its fine… stressful day and the baby is reacting is all. Don't tell Kelly. He'll worry and he already has so much on his plate."

"Liv…" He admonishes.

"It's nothing already gone. Probably gas."

"If something happens to you-"

"Nothing is going to happen Casey besides I work at one of the best hospitals in the country. I'll be fine."

"If anything changes… "He hitches Klaire higher in his arms.

"I will call him I promise." She vowed. "Bye, Bye, baby." She blew Klaire another kiss and left.

-/-/-

When Kelly comes back to the firehouse Brett stands holding Klaire as Cruz looks as though he's trying to decide the likelihood of Klaire being a carrier of the plague.

"Klairey!"

She shrieked happily clapping her hands. "Dada!" she looks to Brett and as if to point him out says. "Dada!" again.

He held out his hands and she dove into his arms. "Why am I getting midmorning visits? Did you get expelled from day care? Wait did you bite that one kid again?" He asked looking down at her.

"Can you get kicked out of Daycare?" Mills asked.

"Yes you can." Herrmann says making Kelly laugh as he sways with Klaire.

"Nah she didn't bite anyone. Measles outbreak at the hospital." Matt supplied.

"Where is my wife?"

"You just missed her."

When Donna comes in with Terrance Klaire eyes him critically but stays very firmly in Kelly's arms. "You don't wanna check him out? Test drive him until your little brother or sister gets here?"

"No!"

"She understood that?" Cruz asked as he crept marginally closer.

Kelly laughs at her stern expression. "Watch this… Klaire do you want a sister?"

"No."

"Brother." He tries.

"No."

"I love you."

"No. No. No."

Now he is just messing with her. "Elmo!"

"No."

Bacon!"

"Eww.. No."

"So, No. is the only word she knows." Cruz clarifies.

"It's the one she likes best." She reached up and put her hand on his mouth as if to stop him from talking about her.

"Gimmie kisses." He leaned in and she turned her head away. "Klaire Katherine Eliza!"

"Ooh shafted by your own baby!" Dawson teased.

Kelly kissed her turned cheek and then sat her in the floor. He brought out some of his paper work into the main area.

So he could watch Klaire and work.

She screeches and giggles happily as she plays with Pouch. She jabbers at Otis. "Come on Klaire smile for me…So I can send this to Aunt Katie….Or just pull up on the couch. She's standing Severide." Otis alerts him from his spot on the floor.

"Yup she does that now…"

"Does she always walk or is that part new?" he asked and Kelly's head snaps up.

He watches her march behind Pouch to the sleeping quarters. "It's new!" he jumped up. "I need a camera! Someone hand me a phone!"

"I got you just follow her!" Gabi said.

"Me too." Otis said.

He gets a few paces in front of her to watch her mildly confused yet happy face. "Hi Klairey! Whatcha doin… "She just smiles at him. She takes three or four more steps then loses her steam and lands on her butt.

"You walked Klaire! You did it!" he got down on his knees and stood her back up. "Wanna do it again?" She promptly sat back down and patted Pouch on top of the head.

"She found the dog. She's happy." Mills said wandering over to watch as had everyone else.

"Should we text Mommy and tell her?" Kelly asked undoing one of her loose pigtails. She fusses at him. "I know but it's falling I gotta fix it." He said finger combing her hair holding the ponytail holder with his teeth. "What? I fix her hair. Not well but I can." He said to the men staring at him.

"It's just weird sometimes it's like you're a totally different person." Mat started.

"One more loop through and…there baby's got her devil horns back."

"And then you're not. It trips us out."

"I'm the same guy just happier." He said picking up Klaire. "Wanna take a "Mommy we just walked and you missed it cause you're saving lives" Selfie?" he held out his phone. "No chewing on the fingers…smile." She switched from gnawing on her fingers to trying to choke him with his medal. "Okay I'm getting you one for your birthday if you just smile Klairey!"

He snapped the picture and followed it with "Guess who just walked across the room unassisted! Tiny Severide!"

The return text is quick. "I'm crying in the middle of the DEA building. I can't believe I missed it!"

He calls her up. "Don't cry Livvy! I have video!"

"Still I missed it, I missed the first steps. "She sniffles and hiccups.

"Babe… It's okay."

She shakes her despite the knowledge that he won't see it. "No, it's really not because I'm not even doing anything important I'm dropping stuff off for Erin."

"Why? Wait! Yes I know you hear Mommy but let Daddy…okay never mind then."

Liv can hear rustling and clicking and she knows Klaire has put Kelly's phone in her mouth. She jabbers quickly occasionally dropping in "Mama" Or "Dada."

"Hello my sweet girlie did you walk?" She hears Klaire gasp. "Yes Bug I'm talking to you. "She finds herself smiling.

"She's looking for you on the screen. Someone face times their Papa Benny too much."

She can hear the phone being traded back. "Klairey…Thank you honey but I can't make Mommy-"

"Mama!" Klaire says with force.

"I can't just make her appear sweetie, she's on the phone."

"That means she's smart Kelly. She knows you usually push a button to make Benny appear."

"Mama! Mama! Ma-ma Ma-ma!"

"Oh great now we're protesting huh?" Liv laughs she can't help herself. The resignation in Kelly's tone is hilarious.

"I really wish Erin would hurry up I gotta get back and my back freakin' hurts."

"Just drop it at the desk…. And she's off again, crawling this time."

"I would but she told me to fuck off and it wasn't playful something is really wrong…Ow…ow…ok that hurt."

"What hurt? Where? Are you okay?"

"Fine baby, just a back cramp from being in Standy Liv mode all day."

"You sure Livvy? You sound off."

"I'm positive Kell just a busy day is all... lots of moving and lifting and pulling I'm fine." She tries to sound up beat.

"If suddenly you aren't okay…"

"You'll be the first person I call."

She tires of waiting for Erin. She leaves the package and a note on her desk.

-/-/-/-

She goes straight back to work busy in a multi-level trauma. The pains don't go away. They increase in frequency. It honestly freaks her out a bit. She doesn't have time to take a lunch break to be monitored having already spent her on call break times.

"Severide you look pale." Young says in concern. "Go up to OB. I will send Arata here."

"It's Braxton Hicks."

Her friend just looks at her. "Do I look like I care? Go."

Dr. Talik hooks her up to a monitor and determines she's not in active labor. It's likely false labor but she sends her home as a safety measure.

-/-/-

Liv lays dozing and watching The Blacklist. The bed feels too big to actually sleep in with Kelly being absent. An extremely sharp pain steals her breath and she feels definite pressure in her pelvis. She waits for it to lessen but it really doesn't.

She dials 911.

=/=

The fire tone rings out. Followed by. "Ambulance 61 female in distress. 220 East Cullerton Street."

Kelly looks up from the laptop screen where he is combing through photos with Gabi. "That's my house."

He's up and running for the ambulance. "It's Liv. She wasn't feeling well."

"Might be Viv." Gabi says chasing after him trying to calm him.

"No, it's Liv I can feel it."

"Distress can mean anything Kelly don't freak out."

"She called 911 instead of me. My wife the doctor thought her best bet was 911. Don't tell me not to freak out. Just tell chief where I went and why." He said climbing into the back of the ambo.

By the time they get to his house his heart's in his throat. He bails out of the ambulance and rushes into the house Brett and Mills are two steps behind him. "Liv! Olivia!" He shouts praying she can respond.

"Up here! Bedroom." She replies her voice sounds tight in pain or fear he can't tell.

He's never taken those three flights of stairs so fast in his life. When he reaches the bedroom she's laying on her side breathing shallowly.

He just freezes. For half a second he can't move he can't draw a breath. He just stands there. Brett gently moves him aside as Mills rolls in the stretcher.

"Hey Livvy. Can you tell me what's going on?" Mills asked.

"These are definitely contractions."

"How far part are they?" Brett asked.

"About three minutes…that's active labor…I can't… I can't…"

"You're not going too… it's going to be fine." Brett said firmly.

"You were supposed to call me! Back pain my ass! You lied!" He yelled suddenly blindly angry.

"I didn't want you to worry. Not with all the Shay stuff going on. The doctor said it was normal."

"Really now you're going to play the Shay card now?" He snarled.

Brett turned and snapped at him. "Snap out of it! Now isn't the time. She did call you! She called us for help if you're going to stand there and whine and gripe you can fucking leave or you can man up and hold your wife's hand and be a comfort to her. The choice is yours just make it fast."

He stares a bit dumbfounded until Liv squeaks in pain. That sets him in action. "Move." He commands and moves Mills aside to pick her up. "You aren't sweating. That's good. What's her BP?" he asked laying her on the gurney. "Normal…why?"

"Good…no Autonomic reactions to pain stressors yet."

"That one's over… they're not long just intense… that's good right?" She asked looking to any of them for reassurance.

He kissed her forehead and answered. "Sure… Its fine I bet…I think it'll be fine. Your water hasn't broke and you aren't bleeding all good signs. We'll just make go make doubly sure okay?" he lets go of her hand so they can troop her down the stairs.

"Kelly!"

"Right behind you baby, I'm right here…"

On the first floor he's back at her side holding her hand. He kissed the back of her hand. "I can feel pressure I'm not far enough along yet."

"I won't let anything happen to you Liv, everything is gonna be fine." He said concretely.

"I don't care about me… the baby."

"I care about you. You're my priority." He said for him that brooked no argument liv came first.

"Kelly you don't understand." She said as they lifted her into the ambulance.

"I do baby, I understand that you're afraid for the baby because they may be the only one you actually give birth too but I believe it's all gonna be fine I believe that. What I need you to understand right now is that without you I don't have anything, I have nothing left without you and if comes down to it? I will choose you."

"That's selfish." She retorts as Mills heads for Chicago Med.

"That's just me babe…"

"Ow! Kelly… "

"Breathe baby and feel free to squeeze me to death."

"Can you show me the video of Klairey?"

"Sure Baby…"

Brett laughs suddenly. "I just noticed your shirt Livvy that's cute." It read: Conserve water shower with a fire fighter.

"Thanks! It was a present from my Daddy of all people. He thought it was funny."

"Cole's an alright guy. Not my biggest fan but I get it." Kelly said started the video.

Liv watches closely. "Oh she just flat out took off Kell!" She laughed. "Poor Pouch she'll never escape Klairey's clutches now…ooh step on it Pete they're getting faster."

-/-/-

She is moved up to OB in the blink of an eye. "Well the head is down which typically isn't a problem but because you sit constantly your cervix is weak and trying to open and dilate which is why you have pain. I'd like to do a cerlage." The doctor says eying the sonogram.

"And what's that?"

"She wants to stitch my cervix closed."

"Is it safe? For Livvy?"

"Yes, I can see the baby's sex would you like to know?"

"Yes!" Liv says and Kelly follows with a nod.

"You're having a boy Olivia."

"I really like my name idea but if you want I will let you have Blaze… no Cinder no way in hell." She bargains intertwining their fingers.

"You really stuck on Aaron Shay?"

"Yeah… you got to name Klaire, you named her without telling me even." She points out knowing she's got him on that one at least.

"What if we hyphenate it as one first name no middle." He offers up.

"What about Aaron Shay Porter Severide."

"We met on Porter Street you nerd." He says smiling.

"I know that Kelly. That's the point."

"I like it. Every part of his name has meaning."

"Liv I'm going to go ahead and start the cerlage okay?"

"Okay will it hurt?"

"I will numb it but you might feel pressure or slight pain."

"I'm scared." She confessed quietly and momentary shock colors Kelly's face.

"Just focus on me Baby. Just talk to me." Kelly said leaning down so close their foreheads touch and he runs his hand through her hair. "I've got you."

"Is this how you keep your rescues calm?"

"Nah I just call them Sweetie and smile real big,"

"So you know this means no sex for the foreseeable future right?"

"There are other alternatives but if not…I'll live." He gives her a little shrug.

"And just where do those alternatives leave me?"

"It will leave you very sexually frustrated, I'm sorry to say. Nothing penetrative though oral sex is fine." The doctor answered and for some reason unknown to Liv Kelly blushes. It's endearing. She takes pity on him and changes the subject.

"The Shay…" she stops for a second.

"Lots of pressure Liv…I'm starting now that the field is numb."

"O-Okay…the shay thing did you find anything?"

"Found enough to take to OFI… Breathe baby…just…" he tilted his head down slightly to kiss her. "Keep breathing."

"It feels scary…"

"You can feel that? Hey! Stop she can feel it."

"Not actively baby…I can feel touch, pressure, tightness, but no pain. I really hate not having control."

"So once I finish this Liv you're on light duty for the duration. No more than eight hours on shift and no sitting for more than an hour without standing in the chair or moving to alleviate pressure. By the end of the eighth month you'll likely be on permanent bed rest."

Liv groaned. "I have a job to do."

"Yes you do, taking care of the little guy. Now go home and go to bed until next shift."

-/-/-

Kelly breaks the silence on the way home. "Don't lie to me like that again."

"Kelly I honestly thought it was nothing and you were busy."

"Shay is gone. You aren't and I'd like to keep it that way." He said tightly.

"Honey…"

He looks at her for split second then back at the road. "Do you want to know how fast I'll fall apart without you? It'll make my grief over Shay look like a carnival. I will not come back from it. So please, don't lie and be a little more conscious of your needs. Screw Erin, Screw the job, screw all of it. It means nothing if you aren't here for it."

"Kelly its not-"

"Don't you dare tell me it's not that serious! You almost went into labor! You are always telling me how rash I am how Take needless risks? So do you! Don't you dare invalidate your actions by saying you did it for me because you didn't." He snapped at her.

"Oh really…" Liv's voice shook as her eyes filled with tears. "Then why did I do it all knowing one?"

"Because you'd have to slow down or stop. You'd be limited and you hate being limited by anything. Even him."

"I- You think I knowingly put my unborn baby in danger? Fuck you!"

"I know that you were carless with your health and that's basically the same thing." He returns.

"For someone who wanted to have children with me you have a glaringly poor opinion of me as a mother. Stop the car, I'm getting out."

"The hell you are!" He yells.

"Watch me!" She shouts back.

"You can't fucking walk Olivia. Walking home is gonna be an issue. Hello Limitations!" He yells at her again.

Her voice turns low and dead serious. "Say that word one more time and you will learn exactly how you become one of my exes!"

"You don't mean that…" He says it like he knows its fact but he truly doesn't.

"You wanna test me and find out?"

When they pull up Lang is playing with Klaire pushing her on the swing Kelly's hung up in the tree in the center of the yard. "Lang! Will you help me real fast? I don't want him touching me right now."

"Livvy come on baby." He pled suddenly tired.

"You wanna be mad fine. I get to be mad too." She justifies.

Kelly sits in the car and watches as Lang helps her inside and Rainey takes his place beside Klaire.

"Fuck!" he hits the steering wheel. Liv disappears from view. "Fuck!" He growls out again.

"Watcha do wrong Fireballs?" Rainey calls out.

"None of your business Rainey." He groaned running a hand down his face. "God help me get through the next four months."

As clear as bell he hears Shay in the back of his head. "Go apologize."

"I was right though! She was being careless and it almost cost me both of them." He retorts.

"Uh you're talking to yourself." Rainey says from the curb. As she holds Klaire.

"I was right." He says to Rainey eyeing his baby who looks perfectly happy.

"So do you wanna be right or do you wanna be married because my sister looked pissed and hurt and if Lang is getting only her side? You are going to get punched."

Lang came outside. "She's sitting in the elevator but refuses to go up. She wants you. She's still cheesed off at you but she wants you."

-/-

She sits perfectly still holding the door open. "I hate my body." She said and there's stillness in her voice. It really alarms him. He steps on the elevator and releases her hold on the open door button. "I mean I really fucking hate it sometimes."

"Baby…" He replied softly feeling totally at a loss.

She shakes her head and stares at the button panel "I don't even mean the scar or my legs…I hate the way my legs look compared to normal girls. The fact that the body I think I have doesn't match the one I actually have doesn't even scratch the surface. I hate the fact that it is broken Kelly. That's the thing I loathe. My body fails me." She confides and his heart breaks a little bit.

"Olivia to me you're beautiful."

She looks up at him and tears brim in her eyes and leak down her cheeks. That hurts even worse. "Thank you but you're missing the point honey. My body is broken I will never chase after my kids, or dance at Aaron's wedding with him. I could live with that but my body is failing him before he is even here it's putting him in harm's way and I really did not want it to be true, so I was in denial. If I told you that meant being honest and admitting that in some ways I will always fail my children. So yes I was wrong and selfish and I'm sorry I lied to you."

"Livvy…"

"Don't tell me it's not true." She shook her head.

"Look I was wrong too okay, I was, I pushed your buttons and harped on things and went too far and I'm really sorry. It's not true though. You don't fail them, even if you can't do all those things that doesn't mean you're in any way less than any other mother. Hang on…wait right here." He leaves and returns with Klaire he stands her on Liv's lap. "Be gentle Klaire." He says as Klaire cuddles up and hugs her.

"What do you think she sees when she looks at you Liv?"

"I don't know." She replied with a break in her voice.

"Then I'll tell you. She sees the person who feeds her, who keeps her warm, holds her when she sleeps, when she cries, the person who sings awfully to make laugh the person who keeps her healthy and fights for her. She sees the person who lights her whole world up. She would be lost without you because you are a superb mother. Because without you I'm a generally shitty person and I couldn't do half of what you do for them."

"You're cocky but you aren't a shitty person."

He grins and wipes her tears. "You're legally required to say that. You're my wife."

"No I'm really not"

"Come on lets go get you set up in bed. I gotta head back."

"But the bed is just boring without you." He hits the up button and they ascend.

"I'll set up the Wii for you." He bargained.

She whined. "Whatever."

"You only wanna have sex because they say we can't." He points out as they get off the elevator.

"You say that as though you aren't in boat with me Hubs McFireballs."

He laughed. Then became suddenly serious. "I'm sorry for the things I said. I hate when people see you as less than or disabled and then I shove your limitations in your face I'm sorry." He said pushing her to the bedroom/

"I made myself look like an idiot trying to walk home."

"Your perseverance was charming once I wasn't pissed at you. I thought you might actually bail on me."

"Oh I was considering the merits of road rash. You do know I forgave you the second you stepped on the elevator right?"

"Hmm, by the way I am in that sad boat of chastity with you."

"Do even know how to be chaste?"

"Last time I tried it I was in diapers. So we shall see."

She laughs as he settles her in bed among the pillows. He kissed her. "See ya later my ladies." He kissed Klaire and trooped down the stairs.

"Be careful!" She called out.

"I will! Do not let her get up for anything but the bathroom or saving Klaire from imminent death. Is that clear?" He told Lang.

"I've got her Kelly." Lang retorted

"That's what they all say. Love you girls! Bye babies."

"Bye Kell!

'Ba Dada!"

-/-/-/

When Kelly returns that night. He finds Liv exactly where he left her thankfully. Not so thankfully Erin is lying beside her as they eat soft pretzels from the 7-11 down the block. "Fuck it's you…" he mutters to Erin.

"Hey douchebag." She replies mid bite.

"She's my wife."

"She's my hetero life partner. I out rank you. Unless you want to hear about my sex life with her brother you might wanna leave." She advises.

Liv interjects. "Technically for the fortieth time I really do not-"

"Oh hush Liv!"

"But in Liv's defense it kind of crossing like at least ten lines." He walked over and leaned down. "I'm kissing my wife hello then I will leave."

"I might taste like processed nacho cheese and Slurpee juice."

"I'll love you anyway." He kissed her. "Going to shower."

"Holler if you get lonely."

"They said no sex Livvy."

"She said nothing of communal showers or blow jobs."

"By the end of this you'll be the horniest person on the planet. I'll say a prayer for you." Erin said sounding totally unsurprised.

"What like Dear Lord don't let Livvy explode from sexual tension as she is my only female friend?"

Kelly gave a bark of laughter from the bathroom. "My baby she speaks the truth." He said before disappearing into the shower.

Kelly is washing his hair when the shower door opens. "May I join you?"

"Um Yes. Definitely."

"Mind fixing it so the sprayer won't hit me in the face?"

He does her bidding or so she thinks. "On it, How'd you get rid Erin so fast?"

"Told her as long as she's allowed to screw Halstead she should. I think she left to take my advice. She won't last at the Fed Gig, it's too rule bookish for her. She'll go back to Hank she always does… might as well take the chance while she has it. I think she thinks she's afraid it'll turn deep but hey, he might be sucky in bed. Doubtful but … one can only hope if you're destined to work together."

"Wait! So you're hoping she has shitty sex? Why?" Kelly laughed.

"Because if it's good, she'll keep at it and Hank will kill someone likely Jay."

"How was your day? The rest of it I mean with the investigation?'

He turned around. "Whoa you got naked fast."

She sat primly on the shower ledge "That was the general idea. So your day?"

"I can't concentrate when you… "

"When I what?" She smirked tilting her head at him.

"Stop smiling like that!"

"Like what?"

"Like you've won! "

"Well I have I just turned your brain to jelly and all I'm doing is sitting here. Which is really quite cold. Hand me the sprayer."

He turns the sprayer and water hits her in the face. "You asshole!"

"I love you." He said with an innocent smirk.

"Yeah I bet."

"The hose…it slipped."

"You been waiting a long, long, time to work that one in ain't ya Fireballs…" She said laughing as he leaned into to kiss her. "Mm, I am all for making up but this kiss it's a distraction. Rise your hair before you get itchy scalp and answer my question about the investigation."

"How did you know I was deflecting?"

"Seriously Kell? We are married! Talk to me."

"I would really rather play doctor with my doctor." He tries again.

"Kelly…"

"Right I did promise to let you in and not backslides."

"You did and I really am cold."

He picks her up and backs her into the wall with multiple shower heads. "Better?"

"I love you." She says a little dreamily.

"I love you too." He kissed the side of her neck. "So we found the guy who did it. He practically taunted me with Shay in the middle of the street."

"I'm sorry baby. It's good you found him though."

"They can't prosecute no proof even though we know he has set multiple fires over decades."

"So we get proof. How do we get proof?"

"Wait for him to start another fire."

She's silent a beat. "You can put me down I must be heavy."

"You're fine baby."

"I'll get Erin on it!" She said like it was already a given.

"Babe…"

"Yeah…"

"Thank you, but really I just want to be with you for a minute. In the quiet before the water gets cold or Klaire wakes up."

She doesn't respond she just wound her arms around him and rested her chin on his shoulder. Neither of them breaks the silence. They just breathe and he kisses her like she is the only thing that sets his world in some semblance of rightness. Because she just is.

As the water goes cool they don't notice.

AN: I own nothing but the OCs if you liked it tell me. This is getting harder to write I could use so feedback to fuel the fire no pun intended. Thanks for all the support thus far!-MM

AN 2: I don't own Maggie Seaver she in the back door pilot for Chicago Med. She's someone from Kelly's past and will be worked into my plot maybe. I saw an opening to drop bread crumbs and took it.-MM


	28. Chapter 28

"So what does one wear to an ambulance unveiling? "Liv asked Kelly.

He came to stand behind her as she rifled through her closet. She stood using the aide of the chair in her bra and panties hair still wet from the shower. "Wear whatever baby,"

She looks over her shoulder at him. "Not at all helpful in the least way."

"Sit." He commanded reaching around her. "I think you look good just like that but… it's supposed to kinda warm…so…" He held a lavender sleeveless jump suit that tied up around her neck in a halter style. "I think you look good in this."

"I'm pregnant Kelly." She dead panned.

"I know and it's cute. Like you aren't walrus sized. You have the cute belly and the glow thing going. You can still pull this off."

"Really?"

"Really. I have had pregnant friends and pregnant girlfriends. I wouldn't lead you my pregnant wife wrong would I? You're my friend."

"You think I'm still pretty."

"Always." He leans in and kisses her. "Seriously sit down."

"Now, for the most important question who will help me into this?"

"I promise to help you out of it." He said with a smirk.

"Kelly Benjamin…"

"Olivia Blair…" He countered kissing her neck.

"You're going to be the death of me. Really you are."

"You love me."

"Not the point." She muttered grabbing up clean scrubs. "You think Viv is ready to face the house yet?"

"She'll regret if she doesn't go Livvy. She didn't get any real recognition of their relationship at the funeral and I want to fix that because she was the person Shay loved and wanted to marry eventually."

"Help me to help her."

"You bet." He slapped her bare butt cheek. "Get dressed before I attack you please."

She just looks at him. "You wear a thong I'm going to smack your rear. Deal with it."

-/-/-

Kelly is talking to Matt when Liv pulls up. She and Vivi get out of the truck but Vivi makes no move to come in. She just stands there holding Liv's hand.

"Who is that?" Shay's sister Megan asked coming to stand between them.

"Shay's partner is the pretty blond. Beautiful redhead is my wife. I'll be right back."

"I get it Vivi, I do. If it was reversed and it had been Kelly I would never go back but they're honoring her." Kelly hears Liv say as he steps outside.

"Can I help?" he offered.

"Is she everywhere?" Vivi asked him and he watches as Liv's eyes fill with tears in sympathy.

"I've gotta get Klaire out of the truck." Liv said in attempt to distract herself. "Be right there Viv I promise I just… gotta get Klaire." Liv said letting her go and turning to the truck.

"She kind of is but it's not a bad thing, at first it stings but eventually it's a comfort to be somewhere that she is always present."

"I'm not sure I can do it. Go in, I can barely breathe and it's only the parking lot."

Kelly nods and offers. "I'll walk you in and come back to help Livvy." He walks her in and introduces her to Shay's sister and gives Gabi a look telling her to stay close.

He can't see Liv as she's blocked by the truck door. He goes back and travels out to stand behind her. "Need help my baby?"

She looks and over her shoulder and he notices she looks near tears, "Babe…its okay."

Liv's voice shakes. "I know. I just can't do this for her and…and I'm really hormonal."

He turned the hat he's wearing backward so the visor didn't hit her in the face as he leaned into kiss her. "She'll get through baby. Trust me." He moved her aside and unbuckled Klaire from her seat and lifted her out.

Liv reached up and straightened her matching dress, as the walk in Kelly is tossing Klaire up in the air and catching her and bringing her down for a kiss she laughs every single time. "OFI offered me an investigation job." He tells Liv. They're taken over by the chaos of the firehouse before she can reply.

=/=

"Megan, this is my wife Oliva and the person determined to get my hat is Klaire. The person inside there..." He points to Liv's belly. "Is or will be once he's born "Aaron Shay Porter Severide."

"You don't mind the name do you? I just wanted to find a way to honor her." Liv said. "And if the name is to much a reminder Viv-"

"Wait it's a boy!" She said as she leapt forward to hug in her excitement. "I know Less would love it. How we will tell the Girl Erin and boy Aaron apart though?"

"Big E and Little A maybe I haven't figured it out he may go by Aaron Shay I'm sure but I wanted approval from the two of you." Liv said looking between the two women.

"You have it." Megan said.

"Of course duh." Vivi Says.

"I see why she liked you, both of you actually." Megan said to both women. "I asked her once what you were like Vivi and she said it was like living with a living fireworks stand because the littlest thing, the tiniest spark could light you up and she never got tired of it. She truly loved you and wanted to be with you always."

"And you? Liv the only reason she ever disliked you and it didn't last long but it was because you were so much alike. She said you took nothing off of anyone and you made him so happy. No matter what happens she makes him happy. I really tried to hate her but it didn't stick. I kind of love her a little now." She said that the last time we talked. "You're good for him and she loved you for it."

Tears spring to Liv's eyes and tears are already tracking down Vivi's face.

"Kelly!" Chief said eyeing his backwards lieutenants cap, Kelly wordlessly turned it around and Liv snickered despite herself as she wiped her tears,

"Baby do you get demerits?" She teased.

"Hand your baby to your lady and help with set up Severide." Kelly nodded handing off Klaire who began whining immediately.

"Dada no…no… Dada Stay!" she said repeating the last thing she'd heard commanded at Pouch.

"Did she just tell me to stay?"

"It's better than sit Ubu sit." Liv retorted

"Good dog." Gabi added "What I legit heard Shay in my head finish it." Gabi answers their odd looks

Liv bounced Klaire in her arms. "Klaire say I…love…Mama..."

She took a deep breath. "Dada!"

"Is this how Mommy felt with all of us? Everyone gravitates to Daddy."

"Pretty much… then you get moody teenagers who hate you and make you cry." Her mom said coming in and she stole Klaire. "You look nice my sweet girls."

"Kelly's pick." Liv said.

"I should go clean out Leslie's locker before I lose my nerve. Or you can Megan, I- We didn't go over some stuff because I refused to even…I refused to go there. I couldn't not after watching Liv tense up every time she hears a siren or sees a battalion car drive down her street. I wasn't… I'm not like Liv I didn't have the guts to face the potential for loss and ask her what she would have wanted in any case at all."

"You were her partner. You lived this life with her. I think it's your right."

"Liv!"

"Right here…We'll do it together okay. There is a memorial picture of her outside the lockers next to the laundry room. I didn't want you to be shocked." She said as she rolled that way.

"I have to touch the last things she touched. It doesn't get much worse Liv."

She nods.

Liv rolls behind her to the locker room. The whole time she's internally chanting "I will never do this. I will never do this."

"Hey," Vivi says before undoing the lock. "This isn't going to happen to you Liv. It can't happen to both of us. This will never be something you're forced to do."

"Vivi honey… "Liv hedges not knowing what to say to ViviAnne's mind reading.

"I can see it in your eyes."

"I live in fear now. So much fear." She whispers back.

Vivi makes it as far as getting the locker door open but when her eyes fall on a picture of them goofing off in a cheesy prom like pose at Liv and Kelly's wedding reception she breaks down.

"I'll do it Vivi, here sit sweetie." Liv offers sort of coaxing her onto the bench seat.

"It smells like her. The damn thing smells like her."

Liv stands before the locker belatedly realizing. "I need a box." She said quietly.

Kelly suddenly appeared at her side. "I meant to do this I did, I just…"

"I got it baby…find me a box? And Viv some tissues?"

"Yeah…"

Liv clears out the locker silently and with some reverence until She come across a picture of the four of them on the day they had moved into their place. They were all disheveled and dirty but smiling so brightly it made tears rise to her eyes. "We were all so happy."

"We were." Kelly agreed.

"We will be again. That's what she'd say." Vivi added.

"Can I keep it?" Liv asked.

"It's yours." Kelly said. "It's time." He continued as Liv straightened his tie and Vivi got to her feet.

"You this Baby?" Liv asked Kelly.

"I got it."

She nods. "ViviAnne?"

"Let's do this sister."

The presentation is quick but not painless more than a few tears are shed. Gabi and Boden speak they present both Viv and Megan with American flags. Vivi cries when Kelly hands her the flag. As the one draping her coffin had been given to Shay's parents. This was 51's way of saying the state may not recognize your relationship but we always have.

The ceremony gets to Liv more than she wants to let on.

-/-/-

"Anyone seen Livvy? ViviAnne wants a picture with new ambo. "Kelly said walking back in with Klaire on his hip.

"Your quarters she seemed pretty upset." Herrmann answered taking Klaire from him.

He opens the door to his quarters. "Babe everything okay?" he asked gently she is sitting looking out the window. When she turns at the sound of his voice she's quickly wiping away her tears. "I keep forgetting to tell you that you look really handsome in your dress blues. Never seems like there's a right time to say you look hot." She covers with a bashful smile and weak laugh.

She gives him a watered down version of her usual knock out grin. "Livvy what is it?"

"Please don't ever make me have to attend one of these for you please."

He opens and closes his mouth that had not been what he was expecting. "I mean logically I know and have made peace with the fact that you have no control over the dangers of your job or that it could take you from me but emotionally…it's not okay. So I need you to do everything in your power to not get distracted by this arson thing because fact is baby you might not catch him and if you don't I know you it will drive you mad and you'll be distracted from your work or become reckless and then I'm the woman holding the flag not able to draw a breath or think straight or love anyone ever again. So promise me no honorary ceremonies…please." She says in a rushed breath.

He shucked off his gloves trying to think of what to say but comes up with nothing. He tosses his hat on the bed and tosses the gloves beside it. "Liv honey…"

She shakes her head wiping away fresh tears. "I try not to be this girl you know? The one who's scared out of her mind and wants to block the door every time the tone rings out. I try to be brave. Because you're brave…"

"I..Eh…I don't want to make you a promise I might not be able to keep." He confessed on an exhaled breath. He plopped down to sit on the end of the bed.

"What I can promise you? I love you and I will say this every single day if you need to hear it. You're my first priority; I will not be needlessly reckless. If I die on the job? It's because my number got called up and I had no choice."

"I know that Kelly, logically I believe everything you just said but the way I love you? It's not logical. It defies logic that you chose me and that we're married. Our children are the single greatest gifts I have ever been given. Without you? It will mean less, be dulled, bittersweet. So I need you to at least think about taking the OFI job. Just think on it." She said.

He sighed and scratched his chin stalling her. "Babe…"

"I know you aren't a paper pusher I just…"

"Come here."

"Why?"

"You're beautiful…and very far away. Please?" he crooked his finger at her and she laughs. She rolls up to him. "Closer."

She leaned forward. "Closer."

"Any closer and I'll be ..." she shrieked when he pulled her to topple back on the bed. "In your lap." She finished.

"Hey Pretty Wife." He said twining his hand around her braid.

"Sexy Husband are you deflecting?"

"Nuh uh, just thinking about kissing you."

Her eyes narrow. "You're a man of action. Just do it."

He kissed her slowly. She tasted like coffee and French Vanilla Creamer. "Bad girl. You snuck a coffee." He says against her lips.

"And you snuck a cigar. Pot and kettle Lover, pot and kettle." She teased back.

"Point made. I like Bad Livvy, She leads to Naughty Livvy. I miss Naughty Livvy."

"You miss getting it in period. " She says dryly trying to roll of him but he hangs on to her tightly.

He kissed her again barely brushing her lips with his. "It's only been what two weeks?"

"Three and counting."

"We're going to die. " He paused. "If it shrinks from disuse it's your fault."

She scowls. "Can it do that? Medically I think it's impossible."

"It's a muscle no bones."

She laughs and Kelly loves the sound. "I know it has no bones dummy. I'm a doctor."

"Then the term boner is a misnomer."

"I'm okay with just kissing you. Because I like you. If you need to you can check out the new strip joint on Grant get a lap dance. I'm okay with it since I'm outta commission."

He laughed. "I love you for the permission but the only woman I want to see naked is you."

"Liar. I love you for it because I look like a grape but you're lying." She said going back to kissing him rather aggressively he hums his disagreement with her statement but doesn't stop her to verbalize it.

He moved his hands along the curve of hips as she kissed a line from his mouth down his jaw to that spot on his neck that works like an instant get up and go button. He squeezed her thighs to head her off and redirect her it doesn't work. She bites down on the spot… and holy shit. His body is fully on board her dirty little train.

"Liv…" He said a little strained.

"Yes?"

"I'm going to need you to stop." He said carefully.

She sits up and looks decidedly triumphant. "Whatever for?" she says all false innocence.

"You're a tease baby."

"No I'm not I always follow through she said reaching for his belt buckle.

"I didn't lock the door Olivia." He said watching her deftly undo his belt.

"Then be quiet." She orders and damned if it doesn't turn him on.

She's undoing the button of his fly when Vivi's head pops in. "Pictures guys? Oh nasty Liv! You're in public.

She rolled her eyes in Vivi's general direction. "It was private, and then you opened the door. Now it's public."

"I hate her." Kelly muttered. Liv kissed him.

"He's going to need a minute to himself." She tells Vivi and rolls off him to transfer back and follow her out.

He glares at the back of her head. "Viv was the tease it wasn't me." She offers catching his glowering expression.

"Yup, I'm dead."

=/=

When he walks into the ER to find Liv he's oddly surprised to find her running a trauma while straddling a kid no older than seventeen while doing chest compressions. 25, 26, 27, 28, 29 30. She leans back. "Charge paddles 200." He sees that her leg is still touching the kid. He yanks her off him seconds before she calls the "Clear."

"What the hell! Who?"

"You weren't clear baby. You didn't feel your leg touching him." He answers catching her as she almost dumps off the end of the bed as they shock the kid who looks to be a stabbing victim to Kelly's untrained eye.

"Nothing Severide." Someone calls out.

"EpI?"

"He's tapped doc." Someone with a familiar voice he can't place says.

"How long has he been down now?" Liv asked.

"Over an hour."

"Shit! I'm calling it. Time of death 3:22 PM. Where are the parents?"

"Waiting Area." The voice he can't place replies and he can't see them in the group of people crowding the room.

"Put them in the room. I'll be right there to inform." She says and takes his help to transfer back into her chair. Carefully she keeps her bloody hands away from. Once in the chair she shucks her gloves and tossed them on the floor. "Fuck…I hate this part."

"I know."

She stripped off her trauma gowning. "You needed something baby?" She clarified rolling out of the bay.

"Technically Lindsay does. "He shoves his hands in his pockets and walks alongside her.

"Which one?"

Your bestie with poor taste in men." He countered with a smirk.

She sighed tiredly. "I told her I wasn't saving her ass when Hank found them out! I meant it this isn't High school."

"I think its Shay related or maybe you related she said something about commonalities between locations and victimology.

She nods. "Let me do the inform and hand off to social services and I'll get someone to cover me."

"Should we get Klaire?" He asked moving the direction of the daycare.

"My eights got moved up to twenty fours again. I'm coming back."

"No! They can't do that!" Kelly chastised.

"They did it babe. I'm sorry." She said with an apologetic shrug.

-/-/-/-

"Kelly where was Liv's fire again?" Erin asked as they all stood in the Intel bullpen.

"627 Porter Street." He points to the spot. "There."

"Hm. It's in the middle of the hot zone and there's no way he didn't know exactly who he was targeting." Erin says to Voight.

"Targeting?" Liv spoke up.

"In one of his first fires a wheelchair bound man with MS was a victim. He died because there were no elevators. The one on Porter was reported as electrical fire and no one thought twice about the stopped elevators. Which if not for Kelly and you being so damn stubborn would of left you trapped." Erin explained her voice going shaky at the end.

"He set that fire?" Kelly said slowly.

"We believe so. " Voight said.

Kelly gave an aggravated scream through his teeth. He turned and punched the wall.

Kelly…" Liv went to grab him.

"Don't touch me. You touch me and I will cry." He warned her twisting away from her.

"This isn't your fault Kelly." She says perfectly calmly.

He speaks to the wall because he looks at he will end this guy. "I never would have seen you Liv! If you hadn't broken the damn window, I never would have seen you. It was fully involved. He would have killed you and all those kids!"

"I'm right here and you did get to me. He didn't win, not that one." He looks back at her and the urge to cry or kill someone almost over powers him. "Let me see your hand." She finishes softly.

She takes his hand in hers and brushes her thumb over his knuckles He can tell she's no longer tracking what's around him as the others try to figure out who the guy is. "Can you move it? Make a fist…good… flex… relax." She kissed his knuckles. "I don't think you broke anything."

He really can't take this. The motherfucker almost killed his wife and did kill Shay. He turns and starts walking out he points to Lindsay. "You find him Erin! Or I swear I will, so just find him."

-/-/-

Kelly hasn't been letting her get too far away from him but he's napping with Klaire when she gets a text from Vivi asking her to meet her for breakfast. She leaves him a note kisses Klaire and goes.

"Great minds?" Liv asked when she saw Gabi at the elevator of the building that housed the bistro she was set to meet ViviAnne at.

Gabi turned with a fond smile. "Hey Chickie! Where's Shadowy McFireballs?"

Liv grinned in return. "Ah you heard about that? I gave baby the slip. Having brunch with Vivi. You?"

"Same with Sylvie."

"Of all the breakfast joints in Chi town they choose the same one. Weird." Livvy rolled on to the elevator. Gabi was directly behind her.

"I know now that you mention it Brett is more an IHOP girl." Liv pressed the elevator button.

When the elevator stops between the third and fourth floors Liv must go pale because Gabi looks worried. "Livvy."

"I have a bit of latent PTSD about enclosed spaces. Get us out. Please!" Liv said quickly becoming panicky.

"Ok Breathe girl just keep breathing." Gabi advises as she uses the assistance phone. Gabi's voice fades out as Liv starts to lose track of where she actually is her chest feels heavy like she's back beneath the concrete debris that had fallen on her and Rainey.

"Help is on the way Liv." Gabi takes her hand to ground her. "You're not there. You are here with me."

When the door to the hatch opens and the see they arsonist neither of them breathe. She squeezes Gabi's hand hoping like hell the cavalry is coming. "If at first you don't succeed try, try again. "The man muses with a creepy grin.

"That text wasn't from ViviAnne." Liv mused aloud.

"Nope. I just thought you'd be a nice little bonus to needle that mouthy lieutenant with. You should really thank me after all my fires brought you together."

"Fuck off Crazy Pants." She snarls before she can stop herself.

"Liv…" Gabi warns.

"No Gabi, The only person in that scenario deserving of a thank you is the man I married. It has nothing to do with him." On that she will not budge.

"According to my husband you're an excitement arsonist. You get off on the chaos from a nice safe distance right?" He begins pouring gasoline into the elevator car. "This is an open air shaft. You light us up and you go too you know? Its basic science. Fire consumes air."

He pours more in and it splashes into Liv's lap. She coughs forcefully.

"Fire it also purifies. Have you ever seen something burn? Smelled the smoke of your creations and the screams to accompany it? It's really a rather beautiful thing." He says in gleeful lunacy.

Gabi is begging and pleading trying to be reasonable. The only thing Liv feels in this moment is rage and fear. So she stays quiet.

She can see Antonio above them now on the next floor. "Give it up." Antonio demands.

As he's going back and forth with the guy whose name she can't remember. Liv speaks on the off chance Erin can hear her. "Tell Kelly I'm sorry. Take care of him for me okay? Just… I love you. Take care of my family." The guy waves the lighter and Antonio takes his shot and makes it. The drops the lighter Gabi caught it…Barely.

"Oh God…" Liv says. Her panic and fears surges up and she starts sobbing.

-/-/-

Erin realizes he sent a dummy text to Liv as well. She's running to her car before Jay can even think twice. "What Erin?" he asked chasing after her,

"He's got Liv!" She's in the car and dialing Hanks number.

Jay gets in the car and she puts the pedal to the floor. "Hank tell me you have her!"

She hears rustling and the sound of Liv crying. "Livvy are you hurt?"

"No…I just I can't… I can't stop…I need Kelly. Please get Kelly." She begged frantically.

"Okay I'll send someone for him. I'm already halfway to you."

"I need clothes. He poured gas on me." She says soft and Erin feels pure terror and rage at just how close they'd come to losing each other yet again.

"It's alright Livvy…I'm here." She said grabbing her discarded pajamas from spending the night with Jay from the back seat.

She rushes in and moves to hug her shaking weepy friend and belatedly remembers she is doused in gasoline and stops herself from giving her a hug. She kisses the crown of Liv's head. "Let's go get you changed Liv Lou."

"Okay…" she said with a hitching breath. "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"I'm not a crier."

Erin smiled softly. "Liv honey you are. You're a crier because you carry your heart on your sleeve. It's part of why I love you. Crazy dude almost set you on mother fucking fire. It's normal to cry uncontrollably." She retorts pushing Liv to the restrooms.

She gets Liv regrouped and changed. Liv is sitting her lap for once as they are perched on a brick planter.

Jay eyes them oddly before going to sit in Liv's chair. "Don't unless you want a shot of gas up your ass. Standy Sandy got doused and needs a power wash." Liv says.

Jay smiles but straightens. "You guys always so…touchy?"

"Yep, but no matter what Erin's skimpy ass booty shorts are telling you right now? I'm a proper married lady. Threesomes are out Sparky." She tugs the shorts down. "They're sexy I'll give you that but how did you not fucking freeze? My teeth would chatter the-"Kelly knocks Jay out his way and yanks her up.

"Easy Severide." Erin said.

"Are you okay?" Kelly said tightly. He's sounds like He's about to cry even to Erin's ears and it makes Liv cry again.

"Yeah…" She tightened her grip on him. "I didn't know…I thought Viv needed me." She fights back a fresh wave of tears.

"You're causing that! I got her to stop! "Erin snarled.

Kelly ignores her. "It's fine; you had no way of knowing…" He says as he guides them back to sit on the planter next to Erin. He without missing a beat makes sure her knees don't scrape the brick.

Erin's a little impressed. It's hard to be fully aware of another person's body. Kelly acts as though Liv is an extension of himself.

"It's okay…" he assures brushing her hair back to kiss her temple, forehead, cheek, and finally her mouth.

Jay pulls Erin away. "Let's give em a second."

"He's dead." She tells Kelly before following Jay.

"Good." He said without looking away from Liv's face.

He wipes away her tears. "Nice short- Shorts. I never took Erin for a "Love" written across her ass kinda girl." He joked.

She laughs loudly just like he wanted. "Ready to go home?"

"My chair stinks and I'll never take another elevator but yeah…"

"I'll carry you up every stair for the next decade to avoid a repeat of this." He said kissing her again.

AN: I own nada. If you enjoyed it please leave a comment or kudo or what have you. Reviews help the muse! Until the next chapter!-MM


	29. Chapter 29

AN: I did a slight time jump so that the baby would be born in the right season. Before I had stuff set in the summer it is now semi current and picks up around when Chief's dad shows up. As a result you don't see Klaire's first birthday or Liv and Kelly's anniversary. I can always write someone shots in the off season if you guys would like. I own nothing but the people of my own creation. Enjoy!

At nine months pregnant Liv is on permanent bed rest. It's not easy for her to stay there but she does. Kelly "runs errands." At least three times a day to check on her.

"Baby!" he called out.

"Where I'm always at!" She shouted back.

"Can we repaint the bedroom?" she asked as he steps into the room.

"No." he said.

"I'm tired of this color! "She whined.

"Livvy. You're nitpicking."

"I am not! I am so goddamn tired of staring at these four fucking walls." She said picking up the plastic guitar to play guitar hero.

"You're almost there baby." He climbed up into the bed with her. "Just hang on a little longer."

He put aside the toy guitar and pulled her into his arms. "Do you know how proud of you I am?" he asked threading his fingers into her hair.

She shrugged against him. "Gotta do it for Aaron. There's nothing to be proud of." She retorted softly.

"I thought I was going to have to hog tie you to keep at home and once again you proved me wrong. You have done everything asked of you with a smile…Ok mostly smiles and curse words but still I'm proud of you." He confessed/

"He'll be worth it.'" She said looking up at him.

"He will." He agreed leaning into kiss her. "So, if I let you paint what color would you choose?"

"Orange maybe… honestly once I'm not trapped in here I'll want my green back so why bother?"

"Fair point. Do you need anything before I head back?" He inquired as he kissed her temple.

"A root beer my Oreos and goodbye kisses?"

"Gotcha. Be right back."

"Oooh check on Calamity Klaire while you're up?"

"Will do." He said smirking. Klaire is a little over a year old now and definitely keep them on their toes.

He walked into Klaire's room to find her sleeping soundly curled into a ball sucking her thumb. He wanted to kiss her but he dare not wake his sleeping terrorist.

He backed slowly from Klaire's room. He headed down to the kitchen and fixed her drink and snacks.

"You're so whipped." Capp said from the living room. He'd apparently come in when Kelly decided to take longer than five minutes.

"I'm not whipped I'm married." He replied in a snappish tone.

"You just poured her root beer into a frozen glass mug. You are whipped."

"It tastes better that way." He passed by him and Capp grabbed a red velvet Oreo. "Put that back if you wanna keep your hand. Liv will cut off the hand that pilfers her stash."

"It's a cookie." Capp said slowly as though Kelly was stupid.

"And she is very pregnant and bed bound. Put the limited edition cookie back or there will be bloodshed." He reiterated.

He put the cookie back. "Thank you. You may buy your own at the Walmart on Greenfield." He took the elevator up so as not to spill anything, "Be at the truck in five I was told to kiss her goodbye so it may turn into ten minutes."

He returned to the bedroom.

"Snacks as you requested as well as your root beer. Tiny Terror is sleeping." He leaned in and kissed her. She grabbed his shirt to pull him closer and kiss back. "Definitely ten minutes." He muttered to himself tilting her face up to change the angle of the kiss.

"What?" She asked. She nipped at his bottom lip.

With not being able to engage in their sex lives as they usually would kissing has become their only outlet. It has turned into a bit of a competition of who can drive the other crazy fastest. "Maybe fifteen or twenty." He amends as he kisses her back harder.

The sirens blare outside from the truck. He begrudgingly disentangles from her. "Fuck. I'm going to kill them all."

"You say such sweet things Kelly." She grinned up at him.

He kissed her again quickly. "I'll be back later today if I can."

"See you then. Thanks for the bedside service." She smiled brightly.

"Be careful!" She shouted down to him as he was leaving.

"Stay pregnant!" he shouted in return. "I love you!"

"Really? Sirens Tony?" he complained as he got in the truck.

"You can't have sex we were just helping you out."

He rolled his eyes. "Severide all I'm saying is she's pretty and you've got to be…frustrated. She's your Kryptonite."

-/-

"Hey Severide how's the wife?" Casey asked.

"Stir crazy and big as the squad truck. Nothing quite like watching your teeny tiny wife gain thirty pounds." He plopped down at the card table in the truck bay.

"She's gonna be real sensitive about that for a while." Hermann advised.

"I'm not stupid Herrmann."

"No I mean crying and putting on a girdle to hide it. So really as your friend I'm telling you no jokes and no being your usual flirt with every female in a ten mile radius self." He tacked on.

"A girdle? They still make those." Kelly asked cocking his head to the side.

"They're called spanx now." Chief horned in

-/-/-/-

They take out cerlage and Aaron stayed put. She does every home remedy to activate labor she knows. They even have sex but she's too pregnant to really enjoy it and Kelly seems to have really missed sex because it is an uncharacteristically short affair.

Aaron still refused to budge.

"Come out damn you!" she growled at her belly as Kelly lay beside her.

"He'll come when he's ready Liv."

She just stared at him. "You're only a day overdue."

She continued to stare. "Wanna give it another go?"

"I'm going to shower." She said feeling rather dejected.

He scowled deeply confused. "Is that a no? Wait you've never turned me down. It doesn't feel good."

She rolled over with a good deal of effort to kiss him. "Typically I'm all over anything Kelly related even the most in the most tangential of ways but I'm just too pregnant for that okay?"

He sputtered utterly beside himself. "But-You've never not…we have never had bad sex."

"It wasn't bad trust me I've had worse it was just…quick." She tried to soothe his bruised ego.

"You have never had unsatisfying sex with me!"

She smiled try as she might to fight amusement she failed completely. "Kelly I'm pregnant and really uncomfortable no matter what. It's not you."

He just looked at her. "I think we built up in our heads and because I'm an unattractive whale it went really fast because you're unaccustomed to celibacy. So once the six weeks no go is up I'm all yours." She said.

"Do you really have to wait six weeks? Because you are the farthest thing from unattractive and once your body is no longer home to Aaron I'm going to get very, very creative with how many different ways and places I can screw you." He replied as he peered over at her with a smile.

"Yeah we have to wait unless you want another baby right away. You could give me something to look forward too." She teased.

His retorted in a light conversational tone. "True… and I want you to heal so that it only hurts if I intend for it to."

"Hmm..."

"I have a whole lurid list of dirty shit I'm going to do but I think I'm going to start by using that purple thong I like to tie your hands behind your back and fuck you clear across my desk in the officers' quarters…I might just make you beg me to make you come so that the next time I have to do paperwork I can remember that raspy way you say my name when you're close…"

"Oh…" She said trying to sound unaffected but was very much so as he could tell by the flush of her skin and the way her pupils are blown. He leans down and kisses her then whispers in her ear.

"Then I might just go down you in the elevator and when your legs are thrown over my shoulders and your thighs tingle from the burn of that day's stubble fear will be the very last thing you feel and the reason you can't breathe won't have a thing to do with the closed door."

"I'm going to need you to stop…" She says softly.

"Why? Turned on?" He grinned victoriously.

"Very."

"Good." He muttered sucking a bruise on to her clavicle. "Hold on to that thought and tell me if this hurts." He said as his hand slid down to tease her body.

He brings her off quite fast with her gasping for breath and keening his name.

"You okay baby?" he asked watching her come down from the high.

She nods dumbly.

Klaire begins to cry. "I'll get her." He said pulling on his pants.

"The oxytocin from the orgasm starts labor and penetration irritates yours cervix into dilation. That should help him arrive. "He said while washing his hands. "I read the book you left on the toilet." He explains.

-/-/-

Kelly rolls back into check on her his next shift. It's late he expects her to be trying to get some sleep when he walks in what he sees is far from it. She's standing in the chair dancing being spun this way and that by Erin.

The music is loud and has a tangy guitar and thumping drum back beat.

"They're laughing and holding each other up as they move across the library nook that is Liv's happy place.

Erin is definitely drunk and Liv is just happy.

He knocked on one of the book shelves. Liv's head whips around red locks flying "Hi Honey!"

He smiled "Hey baby."

"Uh oh, its McFireballs… Hurry sit down!" Erin drunkenly whispered.

He crossed the room. "How long have you been on your feet?"

"Few minutes. I'm trying to jar him loose and Erin is trying to forget that she broke up with Halstead for no real reason." Liv huffed giving an eye roll.

"Hmm. Okay." He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her.

Erin poked his cheek. "Eww, PDA." She poked his cheek again.

Liv broke the kiss to swat away Erin's hand. "Look I love you but you did this to yourself! No one said you had to break it off." Erin opened her mouth to speak. "Uh no, I'm not finished. You can use Hank as an excuse but that is all he is an excuse. So that you don't have to choose." Liv said pointedly.

"What do you mean choose?"

Liv answered dryly. "You don't have to choose happiness if there's nothing making you happy Erin."

"Whoa and shit is getting real so I'm going to bail." Kelly said.

"I didn't mean to ruin your Kelly buzz."

"Eh He'll be back he likes me." She kissed him again. "Wake me when you come in and please be careful."

"Will do. I might even leave Lushy in my spot if I'm feeling nice."

"Love you."

"Back at you even more."

Once Kelly is gone Erin says. "I like Jay."

"Yeah?" Liv replied noncommittally.

"I love Owen."

"Thought so. Dance it all away?"

"Okay."

-/-/=

Her labor starts Early that morning waking her up. It's sharp and sudden then is a deep twisting pain that frightens her just a bit. She shakes Erin who is drunkenly half sprawled over her in sleep. "Erin…"

"Go away Whore." She mumbled squinting back at Liv.

"I think I'm in labor."

Erin opens and closes her mouth. "Like how sure are you scale 1-10?"

"Seven." She said exhaling a breath.

"What do I do? Do we go to the hospital? Can we even? I think I'm still drunk." Erin chattered nervously.

"Just call my mother and tell me it's going to be okay before I burst into tears ok?"

"It's okay! We're gonna kick ass at having babies!"

"Okay great good. I need my phone…" She groaned as another contraction started.

She finds her phone downstairs in the fish bowl they use for "Sweet things to do my spouse" treats. It's something her mother suggested when Kelly was struggling. She dials Kelly and pulls out a note for fun. "Free Back rubs!"

"Not happening' today." She muttered as Kelly's voicemail picked up. She rolled to the window and looked out as the beep sounded. "Hey my love I think my labor has started I've had one or two strong contractions but not much to write home about its really coming down out there and Erin's still buzzed so I'm staying put until you come home. Don't worry! Try to finish your shift alright I love you! Bye Kell."

-/-/-/-

Kelly has a really long fire to put out, and secondary search it takes about an hour and half for them to do everything they need to. He picks up his phone and sees. "Missed Call: The Boo."

He listens to the voice she gets as far as "Hey my love I think." Before he freaks out.

"Guys we gotta roll out!" He ordered already heading back for the truck.

"We just got back…" Capp complained.

"And my wife finally went into labor but is stuck at the house with her drunken dumb ass friend! Now, we're going! Get in the fucking rig now!" He growled out steadily losing his cool.

"Well don't just stand there delivering your own baby is scary! Let's avoid it! Go!" Chief said.

=/=/=

Kelly is first through the door. He is greeted by a scream. "AHHH!" He hears Liv sobbing and runs up the stairs.

"Where's my mother!" He hears her screech at Erin.

"I don't know is this supposed to happen this fast because holy fuck I'm not made for birthin' babies!'

"I don't know Erin! It can happen this fast but….Oh my God! I am not supposed to be able to feel this shit… Ahhh Fuck! I hate Kelly! I hate him!" she finished crying all the more.

"Here hold my hand! I've got you! We've got this." He hears Erin offer as he starts up the top level stairs.

He takes the stairs two and three at a time. "I've decided after experience that I no longer want to give birth…and okay…I totally hate Kelly but I want him…"

Kelly turned and walked into the room. Liv is lying in the bed and holding Erin's hand in a white Knuckle grip. "Hey baby you needed me?" He asked.

She dissolves into tears. "Hey don't cry!"

"But I think its happening and I'm not ready."

"Well baby you may have to get ready."

"That's not helpful! I'm scared!"

He kissed her. "I know you are I am too a little but I've got you and nothing bad is going to happen."

"Promise me."

"I promise you Livvy." He turned. "Your eyes look a little glassy I need to check your BP."

"My gear bag. It's in the closet."

He comes back. "How close are the contractions?"

"It's one big it fucking hurts! Does that answer your question?" Snarled at him as he put the cuff on her.

The blood pressure cuff beeps. It reads out 200/138 "Fuck."

He went and got Liv's blood pressure pills. He crushed one up using the end of the haligan still on his belt.

He scooped the powder into his palm. He strode back over to her. "Open your mouth."

"I can't…"

"Liv you're only going to pregnant for the next ten minutes tops." He retorts. "I need the ambo guys." He radios over. He dumps the powder into her mouth.

He tosses back the covers and pulls down her pajama bottoms all business he looks down. "I can see the head a little." He radios over.

"Really?" Liv said managing a smile.

"He has my hair… Can you push?"

"How am I supposed to know how I can feel the pain and pressure but pushing is different."

"What would you tell yourself if you weren't freaked out right now?" He counters.

"That my body knows what do and even though my sens-holy mother fuck AHHH I should just push like normal."

He leaned up and kissed her. "Then just do that okay. Just push and I'll catch him. So just hold Erin's hand and push!" He looked to a shell shocked Erin. "You Ok?"

She nods swallowing deeply. "Monitor that blood pressure read out and keep her calm. Otherwise she will stroke out if her BP gets too high and the stressors kick in."

"She hasn't had autonomic reactions since high school."

"Just keep her calm Lindsay!" He barked at her.

"You're bickering isn't helpful… gotta push…"

"Wait she'll need leverage!" Erin said pushing her up so she is half propped on Erin herself and half on the pillows. "Ready?"

"Been ready."

"And Push…1…2…3.." Kelly says.

"4…5…6.." Erin picks up.

At the end of the ten count she stops for breath and then they hear the Mills and Brett coming up the stairs.

"Kelly…"

"Yup, you're doing great baby… he's right there three more pushes tops."

"No, I know I was going to say you're doing really well and I love you."

"I reserve the right to freak out later." He said with a tight grin.

"We're here! I'll take over." Brett said.

"No thanks I finish what I start. I may need the fetal vacuum to help strengthen her pushes though."

After a few unsuccessful pushes of the head moving forward inch by inch only to slide back and Liv dissolving into exhausted tears does he accept help.

"Liv wanna try the vacuum thing?" He asked.

"He'll have a weird spot on his head."

"We'll put a cap on his head no one will know." Erin said moving Liv's sweaty hair off her neck and kissing her cheek. "It'll get him out and it'll be over." She adds.

Liv nods. "Alright, do it."

Kelly can't help but feel Erin is doing his job but his hands are kind of full. He backs away to let Brett attach the machine. "I'm delivering him just so you know. Don't expect me to move."

"Never!" Brett said smiling. "Liv When I tell you too I need you to push as hard as you can." She turned to Kelly I'll monitor the suction on this thing you just catch…"

"Got it." Kelly nods.

"Push Liv!" She does and the head pops free. Brett reaches around to clean out the baby's mouth and nose. "One more and…well just grab him Kelly."

A very loud cry fills the room.

Kelly laughs down at the baby in his hands. If anyone notices the happy tears crowding his eyes no one says anything, "Hi big man…" He laughs.

"Let me see!" Liv demands and when he looks up at Liv to hand her the baby he starts to cry for real. "What is something wrong with him?"

"No he's perfect I'm just happy." He said laying him up on to her stomach. He kissed her and then watched her looking at Aaron and counts his fingers and toes. She covers him in the bed blankets.

"So you're my Oreo lover? Wait did someone get the time?"

"5:26 AM February 1tth." Mills said.

"Okay, Erin Autumn meet Aaron Shay Porter Severide."

"Most terrifying, gross, unbelievably cool, bestie experience yet Livvy." She said watching Kelly cut the baby free from the umbilical cord.

"Nah Nah!" Klaire hollers from the baby monitor. "Nah, Nah,"

"Who's Nah Nah?" Brett asked.

"I'll wash up and go get her then we need to get you into the ambo and to the hospital. Besides, she likes me better than Nah, Nah."

"Nah, Nah, is Liv's Mom…I'll do it… no baby yuck." Stay with your wife."

"Ewin!" is the next word they hear as Kelly gingerly loads Liv on to the gurney

-/-/-

As they load her into the ambulance her Mom pulls up.

"Oh I missed it! The kids were going nuts getting ready for school and then I hit traffic. Don't take Tollerman to Med."

"We're headed that way. Can you help Erin with Klaire and enact the phone tree please?" Kelly asked as she tries to look inside the ambo. "You get first holding dibs. I'll text you the room number."

"Who delivered him?"

"I did!" He grinned brightly climbing into the ambulance.

-/-/-

Kelly leaned on the door holding Klaire to his chest as he watched Liv sit with her knees drawn up and Aaron lying balanced in her lap.

"You did it babe." He said and she looked up from making faces at the baby.

"I had some fantastic help ya know."

"No, Liv I mean you had him. You held out and did something not many people in your position have done. I'm really proud of you." He explained with a half-smile.

"Thank you. You saved my life today, again with the blood pressure meds if you hadn't thought on your feet I'd have stroked out for sure." He shrugged. "You weren't even scared to deliver him."

"I was trust me I just hid it. You were scared I couldn't add to it." He hitched a squirmy Klaire higher in his arms. "Should we do introductions while it's quiet?" he nodded between Aaron and Klaire.

"Germ-Ex her hands and bring her over." He did as she said and then Kelly sat on the edge of the bed holding Klaire.

"Klaire that is brother…" Kelly told her and she stared at the baby for a minute before snaking a hand out to grab him.

"No sweetheart be gentle…" Liv said kindly snagging her hand.

Klaire scowled and then gave a frustrated. "Love it!"

Kelly laughed. "Listen Klairey, I know you want to love it but you have to be easy with him."

Klaire nods at him. "Nice…mine…" She said as she reached out and touched his hair. "Hi Mine!" She leaned down and kissed him then looked up at Liv. "It mine! Mama it mine."

"Wait does she think his name is Mine? Or does she think he belongs to her I'm confused." Kelly asked.

"I'm not exactly sure. So, Brett asked me who he looked like and it dawned on me. I don't know because my parents have no baby pictures of me and Benny has never shown me any of you."

"Those are definitely your cheekbones Liv."

"And your chin and eyes. He looks like a baby pixie."

Kelly lifted his hat to expose his ears. "No points I guess you didn't have an affair with Meliorn after all."

Liv gasped. "He's beautiful." She said kissing his soft cheek. "I knew your read my book." She adds dryly.

"Mine!" Klaire said again and Liv grinned.

"Yes my Darlin' he's all yours. Can you say brother?"

"Mine!"

"Alright I think she's calling him mine for now.

-/-/-

Liv went to the bar where Kelly was talking to the OFI officer who had offered him the investigative job.

"I gave it a lot of thought mostly because my wife asked me to at least consider it." He smirks catching sight of her in the mirror hanging above the bar. She's wearing a bright yellow sundress covered in hibiscus flowers befitting the Luau theme of the party honoring Chief's dad. "But I'm not made for desk work. I'm made for rescue; it's because of rescue squad that my life is where it is today. I'm good with where I'm at."

"When you change your mind you know where to find me." She replied getting to her feet.

"Not likely." Liv said smiling as Kelly turned on the barstool.

"You good with that baby?" He asked once the other woman walked away.

"I'm good with whatever makes you happiest Kelly. I know who I married." She retorted threading her fingers through his.

"Why're you so good to me huh?" He asked kicking his chin up at her.

"You're nice to look at and a spectacular lay." She said shrugging one of her bare shoulders.

Kelly joked. "So shallow, my baby is shallow."

"I am not you know I love you."

He leaned over to kiss her. "The hair over one eye thing with the red lips were for me weren't they."

She kissed him back. "It's called a Veronica Lake do… but yes I was playing into your weird fetish for my hair."

"You're hot…and I like it."

"Buy a girl a fruity drink?"

"Sure but liquoring you up and taking you home is fruitless we can't have sex." He deadpanned.

"Five weeks two days Kelly."

"I'm counting Livvy."

"I've no doubt." She smiled. "Learn to hula with me." She pulled him to his feet leading him on to the dance floor.

AN: Meliorn is from the Mortal Istruments Series. I do not own him.


	30. Chapter 30

Liv knows from the swing of the hormones she has all the makings of post-partum depression. When her mother shows up asking her to watch Hadley she does so even though all she wants to do is sleep and cry and not bother hiding it for 24 hours.

Instead she watches Hadley without complaint. "I see Keely! I see him! You say I good I see Keely and I really good so…Keely." Hadley jabbers from the backseat kicking Liv's seat in her excitement.

She cracks a smile for the first time that day. "And I'm taking to Kelly hold your horses girlfriend!"

"Keely at work!"

"Yup! We're here!" She said turning into the lot and grabbing what she thinks of as her parking spot.

"Keely!"

"No Keely until you listen Hads!"She said while turning to look back at Hadley.

"I listen to my Libby!"

"Ok I'm going to get you and Klairey out you stand by the truck holding hands while I get baby Aaron. No moving til I say."

"No moves…Keep my Kare!" She agrees with a snappy nod.

She gets the girls out of the truck. She listens as she unsnaps the carrier from the base. "Kare stay! Kare still! Kare good baby." She smiles at Hadley's sisterly bossy tone.

"OK girls head for the big yellow door." She said once she safely has Aaron and has the truck locked.

-/-/-/-

Kelly stands atop the ladder and washes windows with Casey while smoking Pridgen's cigars when he hears tiny voices. "Keely!" "Dad-Dee!"

He looks down. "Hey babe, I'm letting the cigar slide because it's cold. I brought your best girls." Liv grins up at him.

He climbs down the ladder and scoops up both girls. "Hey girls!"

"Hey Daddy!

"Hi Keely! Fire trucks!"

"Just a second I'll show you." He said leaning down to kiss Liv. "Get inside, it's cold."

"Why're you doing probie work in said cold?" Liv scowled darkly at him.

"Casey got mouthy with the interim chief and I joined in."

"Never one to be left out huh baby?" Liv joked

"He's a total D-I-C-K-H-E-A-D. It was worth it."

She laughed. "I can't believe you just spelled out an insult. I'm going inside to say hi to the boys. Go show your other women the trucks."

"I love you. You look beautiful." He calls to her as she rolls off.

"I'm wearing "Duck Dynasty lounge pants and your flannel shirt which by the way has a hole in it. I'm not beautiful right now I barely look human." She said dryly.

"You can make anything work Liv. Even neon pink duck pants. To me you are always beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you different. Now, get him inside." He says as Hadley wiggles to be put down.

-/-/-

"Hiya boys! And Dawson and Brett!" She calls out.

"Did you bring food? I miss your chicken spaghetti." Cruz asked from the table.

"Next time Joe. I did bring Kelly's Mini Me for inspection."

Gabi came over. "Can I have him?""

Go for it." She said putting the carrier on the floor.

Liv is in the midst of giving Sylvie the chicken Spaghetti recipe when they firetrucks horn blares. They go to the man doors and see Kelly sitting with Klaire in his lap. He's laughing his ass off and pointing at Klaire as Hadley covers her ears.

Liv opens the door and it blares again. "You letting her push buttons is what fucked up my Bluetooth."

"What's all that racket?" Liv recognizes that voice. As it had belonged to someone who tormented her all through high school. Her blood runs cold and her guts twist.

"Kelly is playing with his daughter who is the inquisitive type." Mouch says.

"You alright Liv? You look pale honey." Herrmann asked. Watching as Pridgen's eyes land on her.

"Limp Legs Livvy? No way! I figured you'd married into the Duggar family or something? Since being a sexless prude works for them." He quips and clearly no one finds it funny as evidenced by their shocked silence.

"I wasn't a sexless prude. I just didn't want to fuck "Trick Tiny Dick Prigden." .Gabi chokes on a laugh. "I had standards and I know that comes as shock to you but I will let you in on a little secret. You always thought you were doing me some favor by trying to get in my pants…because who'd wanna screw "Die a virgin crippled up Grayne," Right? But I was never that desperate… and once upon a time you might have been a nice person Pat. I'll never be able to see that because to me you will always be the asshole who threw bugs on me in gym just to hear me scream and told fifth period class I was a lesbian and I had a thing with Erin when I turned you down. I wasn't married to a Duggar." She gives him a mirthless smile.

"I am however married to Kelly and if you keep pushing me it won't matter if you do this job to sooth your ego or if it's because you love it. Kelly will see you ruined to point you'll be the fucking probie washing windows with a goddamn toothbrush. I am the one thing Kelly values more than this so I'd be careful." The fire in her eyes warns everyone but Pridgen off.

He nods. "I always thought Kelly was more of a fully operational type man. I guess everyone has their kinks. Did you ever get Ethan to even blink in your direction or are you still his best kept secret."

Tears sting her eyes but don't fall. "Student elevator saw a lot of action didn't it. The things he told me…well I guess it makes sense I'd wanna a piece seems you had certain talents. I'll tell him you say hi."

She wiped the tears dripping down her cheeks. "At least I can say none of my talents were wasted on you. Tell Ethan he can go fuck himself." She grits out.

She turned to roll out the door and ran head on into Kelly. "Who did this?"

"No one I'm fine…hormones I'm gonna get some air. "She moved back to let them in then rolled out the door.

'Yeah…I'm not buying it." he hands Klaire to Brett. "Hadley go with Herrmann to see Pouch and I'll be right back. Unless someone wants to just fess up now."

The room is silent. "Right, ok then."

-/-/-/-

She sits with back to the truck. "You look good on my truck."

She gives him a watered down smile. "Doubt it, but thanks."

"Who pushed your buttons and don't tell nothing set you off because I know the difference between your hurt cry and that one gum commercial that gets you. What happened?" He asked shoving his hands in his pockets and ducking his head to catch her red rimmed eyes.

There are parts of my past I'm not proud of…Trick just reminded me I can't out run Limp Legs Livvy." She said with a sniffle.

He mouths to himself. "Limp Legs Livvy!" and in a louder tone. "I'm going to knock every one of his teeth down his throat." He said tensely.

She shook her head. "Sadly I earned the reputation Prigden remembers me for. In tenth grade there was this boy Ethan Biggs. He was popular and funny, He was nice to me and I liked him. So when we started fooling around I thought we were something we weren't, I was young and dumb and sure he was cool with the occasional BJ in the student elevator what he wasn't cool with was me thinking I was his girlfriend. I got fed up with being a secret and broke it off. Then he told his friends all the things we'd done and they assumed they'd get a turn." She sighed avoiding Kelly's eyes.

"Prigden was one of those friends and he tore me down when I turned him down. I was desperate to be loved and seen by a man I wasn't related too that… I did and accepted less than I disserved and I'm still paying it a dozen years later because everyone remembers limp-"

"Don't call yourself that." He demanded.

"Anyway they remember I might not screw ya but I'll blow ya in the student elevators and pine after the men who toss me aside. And that is why I cried. Because from the moment I heard his voice I was that desperate lonely girl again."

She finally looked up at him. "And could you not say anything to anyone? If my Mom knew she'd be ashamed of me so just think whatever you want about me just don't say anything."

He laughs he can't help it. "Think whatever I want? I've slept with half of Chicago and you think I'm going to judge for a couple blow jobs? You were a kid Liv!"

"Still I'm ashamed."

"You shouldn't be you were trying to figure yourself out and wanting to be loved is human. You had the good sense to turn that asshole down."

"He was an awful human being." She commiserates as he leans on the fire truck next to her. The picture of ease and comfort.

"He still is." Kelly agreed.

"He threw dead bugs on me just to hear me scream when they got caught in my hair. I used to wear it the way you like all the time until then."

"So he's responsible for the ponytails then. I'm going to punch through his skull extra hard just for that. Just for pony tails. God I hate them."

The vehemence in his words startles a laugh out of Liv. "Seriously, you're going with ponytail hatred out of this entire conversation?"

He looked at her for a second before replying. "Anything else and I will kill him I will."

"You can't and we both know it."

"I want to."

"I know but you can't take every ghost from my past to task. I let people treat me the way they did and I let him get to me. This is my stuff Kelly and I need you to promise me you won't do whatever it is that's in your head alright?"

"Fine, I promise not to decapitate him by shutting his smug face in the squad truck door repeatedly." He promised halfheartedly.

"Baby…"

"Hm."

"You should stop watching Daredevil." She advised laughing to herself.

"Fine I'll just hit him the face with a backboard." He bargains.

"And…sons of anarchy."

"Can I set his mattress on fire I'll put it out I promise… after he pisses the bed."

"Kelly!" Liv snorted as she rolled with laughter.

"What? He threw bugs in your hair. Dead ones, he deserves at the very least to pee the bed."

-/-/-

"Well she's laughing that's progress. I mean not that we care but you might not die Prigden." Hermann says.

"He basically called her a whore and made her cry. He still gon' die." Cruz replied.

"She has five brothers, a husband and a Voight I'm not really sure what Hank Voight does but if you're a believer Pat you should pray because it's gonna be painful that much I do know." Mouch confided.

Herrmann watched them again as he held Hadley who seemed to sense something not right about Prigden and clung closely to Christopher her arms looped around his neck her head on his shoulder.

"My Libby Kay?"

"Here they come…disperse!" Hermann said.

When Liv rolled through the doors both girls ran right to her. "I didn't go anywhere girls?" Hadley ignored her statement and climbed up into her lap. She sat facing Liv and grabbed her face. "You kay? Not cry…I tell Mommy…no cry Libby its kay." Hadley said in concern stroking her face.

"I'm fine baby. Perfect even who said I cried?"

She pointed to Cruz. She scowled at Prigden. "Not nice!"

"I agree…not nice can you share some lap space? Klaire is about to freak out. You took her spot and her Mama." Kelly said looking down at them. As Liv made room to carry both girls.

"My Sissy Keely!"

"I know that." He smiled at her.

He looked to Pridgen. "Liv ordered Malnati's for everyone. We'll be in my quarters enjoy."

-/-/-

After holding Aaron all through lunch and seeing them off he heads for Pridgen's office.

"I'll make you a deal? Never look at my wife again, never speak to her and I won't knock your head clean off the second you longer work over me. Second call her that name again…"

"Oh you mean Limp Legs Livvy dislikes her nickname?" Pridgen needles him further.

Kelly works to keep hold of his temper. "One more time and all bets are off." He said through gritted teeth.

"Is that a threat?"

Kelly shrugged. "Just the truth."

-/-/-

Liv keeps quiet about her depression and it's pretty easy to hide with her husband working twenty four hour shifts and her family popping in less and less with busy school days and work days.

When Liv goes back to work no one is the wiser.

-/-/-/-

Liv is on her way to assist Carver in a surgery. She is taking Aaron back to the daycare when she catches sight of the squad truck outside the main ER. Thinking he's there to visit her she sets off to find him and explain why she'll be home late.

She finds him standing off in a hallway talking to the pretty black nurse who'd given her odd looks anytime she was around.

He's smiling and laughing his way through an old story. Liv feels like crying or throwing up. Her body can't decide. She rolls forward. "I'm clearly interrupting but-"

"No you aren't. Hey baby, this is April. Rice mentioned her." He said leaning down to kiss her cheek.

She thinks briefly of the man she met last time she'd dropped Kelly off. Rice seemed very cocky Liv wasn't sure she could trust him. Especially with the way Kelly had clammed up at the mention of April Sexton.

"I thought you were here to see me. Oh well…I'm going to be home late Carver's resident is sick he needs a pair of hands he trusts. We're mapping a brain and placing stem cells in a cerebral palsy patient. I'll be home when I get there I guess. Mila and Madden will be watching the kids but please fix Klaire's lunch yourself. She has breakfast in the fridge already. April it was nice meeting you. I'll let you get back to flirting with my husband." She knows she's being snippy but she really can't help it when their body language and tones had changed at her presence. It is working her way under her skin.

That ugly fear of hers that Kelly will change his mind one day is flashing in neon in the back of her mind.

"Liv…" Kelly's hurried tone to cover his ass pisses her off even more.

"It's not even like that. We're just friends. He was here to remind me of that after I turned him down for drinks."

"Oh how nice of him." She snarls horomones and rage filling her up.

"Doc Sev, Dr. Collins sent me to get you. He's ready for scrub in." Her intern comes over completely unaware of any tension.

"Got it." She took Aaron from the wrap around her chest. Then she handed him to Kelly. "Take your son back to day care. Mom will deliver the kids to you at end of shift. She turned away without kissing him goodbye. "Don't do anything stupid like getting crushed or fucking your ex without telling me so much as screw off." She smiled at him razor sharp over her shoulder. "See you at home." She rolled away and was gone.

Kelly stands there dumbfounded. "She's typically very nice. I've tested her trust a lot recently."

"Why I am not surprised. Here give me him. You go fix that. The last thing I need is a doctor I respect hating me. The entire hospital will know. OR three do not go past the scrub room. Don't get caught you will get her fired." April says and he hands over Aaron.

-/-/-

He quickly finds her scrub room and barrels in "Liv it's not at all what that looks like to you."

Her head whips around but she keeps scrubbing. "What in fuck are doing here Kelly? Leave!"

"No, not until you hear me out."

"Don't move from that spot! Don't touch anything." She ordered looking at him sternly.

"Baby we're just friends or we were and she did a lot for me."

She laughed towel off the excess water. "Oh I'm sure she did."

"Oh my god… you're jealous. "He says grinning to himself and he instantly knows it's a bad move as she glares at him.

"I'm not jealous Kelly it's more than that. You know I thought you cheating on me would absolutely kill me I was wrong, I could take you fucking someone else a hell of a lot better than watching you look at her like that."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She hiccups holding back tears. She addresses the window into the operating room instead of Kelly himself. "That makes it so much worse and I can't even cry about it because I'll have to strip and rescrub. Since you aren't even aware of what you do or did or whatever let me enlighten you."

"Baby." He said softly as if she'd hurt him.

Her eyes whip to his. "Don't …don't you even! Do you know why I was able to brush off your past? Because I thought to myself there was no one way you looked at any of them the way you look at me. Because the way you looked at me? It made me feel like I was all you ever saw, like the world fucking stopped for you the second I showed up. It felt that way every single time you looked at me until today. You look a smile I thought was reserved for me and gave it to her, so no I'm not jealous. You just broke my heart because she means something to you and you didn't have the balls to tell me. I have got to work. Get out of my OR." She said dry eyed though it had been a battle to stay that way.

"Liv if you would just let me explain. It's not like that."

"You asked her out and she's pretty, and smart, and perfectly your type. You asked her out. You're married and you still did it."She shouts.

"I was going to take you with me for fuck's sake!" He shouts back.

"Then why not tell me? Hey Liv I would really like to reconnect with my friend. That would have worked fine. But no you had to lie, and sneak, and flirt."

"Because…Because I don't know Liv. We have history a lot of it I don't like thinking about and if she was going to shoot me down I didn't want it to be in front of you."

"Why?" her chin kicked up.

"Because your opinion of me matters." He says lowly and tears threaten again.

"Yeah…well…shit! Fuck I can't cry." She looked away from him.

"Livvy!

"Be right there Carve."

"Do you know how insecure I feel right now? How fat and ugly I feel? That didn't help. I need you to shove me through the door I can't touch my wheels. Don't touch me. I mean you can't…I'm sterile just the chair." She ties her mask.

He puts his hands on the wheels. "Can I kiss you?"

"Nope. Even if I wanted you too you can't. Cross contamination."

"I really, really, want too very badly." He said seriously.

"Hang on to the thought til I get home. Shove me through the door. Faster this is done faster I get home."

-/-/-/-

In total the surgery takes sixteen hours twelve of them been added on after her full twenty four. She barely makes it home still conscious. She falls asleep on the front porch as she's unlocking the door.

"Why're you locking the door baby?" Kelly asked as he opened the door and then noticed she was dead asleep. "Baby…" he waved his hand in front of her face. She barely blinks. "Baby you alright?"

"Let me sleep." She whines.

"Come inside."

"Fine here…right here is nice."

He picked her up out of the chair and carried her inside. He undresses her once he has her in bed. He changes out the Foley bag and lets her sleep.

When she wakes he is sitting next to her watching Clifford the Big Red Dog with Klaire.

"You changed my pee bag. "She said with a dopey grin and yawn

He shrugged. "It needed it. Glad you're awake zombie Liv is freaky and not the fun kind."

"I'm sorry." She mumbled.

"For what? I was the one who fucked up."

"I wasn't very nice to her." She retorted.

"I'm going to kiss you now."

"I might have bad breath."

"Don't care..." He sat Klaire on the floor then loomed over her. "Hey you…" he leaned into kiss her softly at first then he nipped at her lips to part them. She was suddenly very glad she chewed gum to stave off hunger during surgery as the kiss turns into a seriously dirty affair.

She kissed back and was rewarded with a sound eerily similar to a moan from deep on his chest. The kiss continues to spin out. She breaks it regretfully. "We need to breathe before hypoxia sets in."

"Not stopping. He said reaching down and angling her hips to grind against her. "I want you. Right now."

His tone makes her blush "Klaire is in the room and I have a Foley in."

"Klaire has been obsessed with dragging her baby doll around the house by its hair all day and she went to make her rounds, secondly I don't care about the Foley." He muttered pressing kisses into her neck.

"You will if it leaks."

"Lube…"

"Gross Kelly." She shoves at him laughingly. "Desperate much babe."

He caught her eyes. "Look at me. You are not fat, I love that your curves are a bit softer. I got something to grab on to now. You couldn't be ugly if you tried Liv. Somehow I let you think otherwise. I'm going to fix it so that you know no matter who the fuck I'm looking at no one even comes anywhere close to you in my mind. That I'd rather leave you horse from screaming and unable to move rather than fuck anyone else."

"Condoms…we need condoms." She said hastily his words having left her flushed and equally desperate.

"Right… We haven't used them since like the third time we screwed."

"The Noxzema jar on the back of the toilet. I leave them for Rainey." She popped on the butt as he got up.

When he comes back she's asleep again. "Damn Rainey for moving the condoms.

-/-/-

It's rare for Liv to feel uncomfortable in a bar that had become something of a safe haven. If they got drunk at molly's, if she had a knock down drag out fight with Kelly in the middle of it no matter what Liv knew their friends had her back.

This attempt to make things right with April has her feeling edgy and out of place and she's so tired all wants to do is sleep. Maybe drinking will help.

"Looks like you could use this Doc." Gabi said. She handed her a shot of top shelf tequila.

She knocked it back. "Do I look alright?"

"You look hot. Like revenge hotness. What'd Severide do now?"

"He wants me to be her friend."

"Who's friend?" Gabi asked eyebrows hiking up.

"April fucking Sexton." She made a sour face. "We're just friends…" She muttered in mocking tone. "Friends do not eye fuck."

"Incoming…laugh and smile." Gabi said through an equally fake smile.

"Sorry baby I didn't mean to ditch you. April could find parking." Kelly leaned in to kiss her. She turned on the barstool and gave April her most genuine of fake smiles.

She really wants to suggest the woman park her car in the Hell mouth. Instead she says, "Hello." Like she's sweet as pie.

"How'd you get up on the stool?" Kelly asked.

"Herrmann helped me our booth got taken by college kids and that one table is sticky."

"Be right back…" And Kelly set off to free their booth.

"Babe…Kelly don't! They look like they're on a date!" She whisper shouts to no avail.

"Typical. The world is my oyster Kelly Severide." April said.

Liv shrugged. "He tries to make my life easier is all. You don't know love until someone bully's a handicap parking space for you." She said tossing back the second shot Gabi brought her.

-"How did he bully someone for you? Someone also disabled?"

Liv shrugged a shoulder. "He's no longer allowed at the Home Depot by our house."

"Really? He got banned?"

Liv laughed. "He'll tell you it's my fault because I wanted to paint Aaron's room but nope…all him. Gab can I get a Guinness? What would you like? Oh and Kelly's usual no car bombs though."

He returned and threw her over his shoulder. "Kelly!" She squeaked.

"What? Follow me April."

"I'm not wearing a bra! Are you trying to make me flash people?"

"Not people, just me." He quipped.

"She's facing the wrong way then dumb ass." April pointed out and despite herself Liv laughed.

He plunked her down in the booth. You ruined my hair and that kid in the cubs cap totally wants a date."

"You just look like you did that sexy hair flip thing you do." He said as she sat up and he slid in beside her.

Gabi brings their drinks and as Kelly and April reminisce Liv feels left out. She shoots Erin a text. "I think I'm third wheel on my husband's date. Help! Molly's ASAP!

"On it bringing some sexy back up." is the expedient reply.

When Erin walks in with a well-dressed black man Liv's jaw almost drops. "No fucking way." Liv murmurs.

"What Baby?" Kelly asked.

"Ronan!" She somewhat drunkenly shouts.

-/-/-

Kelly follows Liv's gaze to where it's stuck on the man behind Erin. The man is taller than Kelly bald and sporting a beard. He's alright looking Kelly supposes. April whistles lowly. "Who is that?"

When the man's eyes lock on Olivia he lights up. He makes his way to their table and slides in next to April without invitation. He leans over to kiss Liv's cheek. "Hey love, long time no see."

Erin stands beside Kelly smiling smugly to herself.

"Ronan King." He offers his hand to April.

He reaches across the table and takes a swig of Liv's beer. "Ugh you still have shit taste in beer my love."

"Says the wino." Liv retorts picking her beer bottle back up. Kelly is steadily getting angry as the guy stares intently at her mouth as she drinks.

"Who are you?" Kelly asked ignoring the scrape of Erin pulling up a chair.

"How would you term us Livvy? Longtime loves?"

"Of the very distant past. The very distant past." She turned to Kelly. "Oh I'm sorry Kell this is Ronan King. He works for a nonprofit in Europe. I hadn't known he was stateside."

"How distant is very?" Kelly asked trying to sound curious instead of jealous having this turned on him isn't fun.

"First love kind of distant." Erin says and Liv shoots daggers at her that could set Erin's hair on fire.

Ronan gives her a slow burning grin that makes Kelly's fist want to clench in anticipation of slugging the dude. "Stop trying to kill Erin with your eyes Darling she only speaks the truth. We met at University. I'd noticed her in Poly Sci but had never spoken to her until I bought the last peanut butter granola bar out of the vending machine. She looked ready to cry so I bargained the snack for a coffee date and the rest as they say is history. We were together three years."

"Four. I had started medical school and you were already at that pro bono law firm in New York working as an errand boy." Liv corrects almost automatically.

"I'm going to get a beer that doesn't taste like horse piss." He said getting up.

"You simply have poor taste." Liv teased.

"Not entirely my love after all I shagged you. Not too long ago actually."

Liv rolled her eyes. It might be true but she feels no need to relive it. "Can we not please? I'd rather not recount some of my post Carver mistakes in present company."

She texts Erin under the table. "What did you do? I thought you meant to bring Halstead!"

-/-/-

They're all recounting stories from college and or high school. She is pleasantly buzzed and leaning on Kelly well into her third beer.

"Oh! Wait you remember that time we pub crawled for St. Patrick's Day?" Ronan says to Erin.

"And Liv almost got a DUI for driving her electric chair drunk."

"I was buzzed those roads were shit!" She defends herself.

"I carried you home babe. You were more than buzzed."

They talk for a while as a group and Kelly keeps his anger in check. "When are you coming back to London Livvy? My parents moved back. Mum always asks what happened to you. The best thing I ever fell into."

"I am a doctor and a wife and mother Ro; I can't just go to London or Amsterdam on a whim anymore." She looks oddly sad and Kelly can't figure out why. "Let me out Baby? Beer hit me." He stands and helps her transfer as she is a bit drunk than she realizes.

"Whoa, leather pants… someone means business." Erin said eyeing Liv's navy blue leather pants and pink backless top.

"I always said pink was your color love." Ronan adds. "And the back is that for me or him?"

Liv plops into her chair with suddenly angry eyes flashing at them all. "For me. I wanted to feel good for me because I just had a baby. If someone noticed great if not well it wouldn't be the first time someone missed what was right in front of them when it came to me. I fade away right?" She said cocking her head at Ronan speculatively.

"You're wrong."

"Am I?"

"Fade from my memory is the one thing you were incapable of doing Olivia. As for him? He's dumb as a bloody post. He let me flirt with you all night." He said gesturing to Kelly.

She shrugs. She knows the emotional crash and burn is bearing down on her but she can't stop it. Not now. "Doesn't matter, as much as I loved you Ronan and I did truly love you because you were the first person it didn't matter too. Even with all of that there is a reason you stay in my past. I want to be put first. He does that most days and if he has go down memory lane with the dime store me? Even if he has to screw that shit to figure out she ain't me? I know who I am and what want and it's not going on forced dates with women I don't like." She snapped moving to roll out of the bar.

"Liv!" Kelly admonishes.

"I'm going home Kelly, stay chat her up. Have a grand time making up for whatever shitty thing you did to her. Maybe then you'll quit shoving her down my goddamn throat. She is not nor will she ever be Shay. You said it yourself you can't be straight and just be friends. You sat here the entire night knowing Erin trapped you and didn't say damn thing. I guess you just don't care what I do. So I am going home to my babies." She said tears leaking down her face. She really has no clue why she's crying.

"I lived with her." He shouts at her.

"Oh fucking fantastic." She laughed dryly.

"I was sixteen and homeless. Benny left and my mother went off the deep end. Is that what you wanted to know?"

"I don't know what I wanted. I really want her to stop fucking looking at you like that!"

"Like what!"

"Like she's just lying in wait to take what's mine!" She shrieks at him.

"Livvy…" Erin said gently.

"Could you not? I asked you here to keep me from doing this! You know I hate this! I hate it but it always happens!" There is so much empathy in Erin's eyes it makes her want to break down even further.

What happens?" Kelly asked.

"Something better shows up." She said giving a resigned smile.

Kelly laughs. "Stop laughing at me please."

"We have been through horrible fire, you forgetting who I was, losing our baby, getting her back, losing Shay, almost losing Aaron, almost losing you a third goddamn time and you think I'm waiting to leave? You're insane! Beautiful and smart and god do I love you but shit your nuts!"

"Why would I leave you Livvy please explain it to me because every time someone expect me to be the old me I prove them wrong but you still think I'll leave? I don't understand Baby, I just I don't I can't. I'd be hurt by it if I didn't know it came from real fear."

"OH it couldn't possibly be that she's adopted and disabled like something out of "Yours, Mine, and Ours." April retorts and Erin is lunging at her before anyone can react Ronan barely pulls her back.

"You don't not get to weigh in on Liv's abandonment issues because unlike you Resting Bitch Face Barbie not everyone is fucking Cosby!" Erin snarls.

"Or I'm sure your confidence takes a hit when the smartest man in the whole hospital tosses you aside like trash." April continues.

She rolled "I'm going home. Escort your dime a dozen trying too hard to pretend like it hasn't been her entire life's goal to fuck you had to have peaked in high school friend back to her car." She stopped and turned back. "Oh and it is as good as you imagine. If he touches you? Not that he will but if he does I'll ruin you to every hospital in every fucking department in three states. Upside you'll get to keep him. I don't do third chances or tainted things." She throws every barb she has at her and leaves her mouth agape.

She can hear Gabi's low. "God damn girl…" Behind her.

"Always did like this side of you love. Walk you to your car?" Ronan asked.

It's the final little four letter word that pushes Kelly off the ledge. No one gets to call Liv by terms of endearment like that. "Call her love or your love or darling or anything but Olivia one more time and I'll shove a haligan so far up your upper crust snotty English ass that I'll be able to break window with the tip of your nose."

"My boobs hurt, I'm hungry and I still have to pee. Would you please call me a cab Gabi?" She leaves the boys to their pissing contest and rolls to the bar.

"Don't ruin Kelly's crush, you're better than that." Herrmann advised. "Sides Holmby will piss him off more if you're seeking revenge." He gave her a glass of water. "Drink that Cindy says it makes the pump and dumps go faster."

"She's not my crush!" Kelly defends himself walking up.

"Not admitting what we can all see makes it worse just be honest. You think she's pretty and if you weren't married you'd old school Kelly her in a heartbeat. You are married though so you won't and no it is not smart be her friend because it makes your wife uncomfortable."

"Thank you Christopher." Liv said.

"Eh, beautiful wife who puts up with your shit should win every time." He answered with a crooked grin.

"I'm fucking freezing in this top. Give me your jacket please?" she asked Kelly who was standing tensely beside her watching Ronan walk April out. "I promise not to check your pockets for cigars." She offered.

He strips out of and puts it on her shoulders. "Be back." He said before leaving sprinting after April.

"He likes her Erin!" She said tears stinging her eyes.

"He loves you though, he does Liv he really loves you."

"After all that he still chases her down. I just want to cry. I feel so…not myself. Maybe he is over me and doesn't want to admit to himself because it means breaking up our family."

"No Livvy he'd never wanna lose you." Erin said wrapping her friend in a tight hug. "Ronan was a bad idea, I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

-/-/-

"Are you going to talk to me? If not I can stare at the ceiling because I won't sleep." Kelly said.

Liv rolled over to face him. "I'm sorry for everything, Ronan, my attitude toward April. Erin all of it I'm sorry but it's like I told you. I feel ugly, and fat, and I'm so fucking sad Kelly I'm so sad and I don't know why."

"How long have you been sad Livvy?" He said quietly.

"Since after having Aaron." She admits in a whisper.

"Could you have post-partum?"

"I don't know…I don't want to be crazy like my Mom Kelly." Tears blurred her eyes yet again.

"Come…" she wiggled away. "Uh no, come here." He drew her to him. "The hormones dropped out on you. You'll just have to take some meds until it levels back out. You aren't crazy baby." He said threading his fingers through her hair.

"I'm going to ruin Aaron. All kinds of mental and emotional issues occur in children whose mothers have severe PPD."

"Baby…"

"I want to be the lovey mom I used to be and I'm just so tired Kelly." He hugged her to him tightly. "And I'm going to lose you because I'm insecure and don't want to have sex and you think she's pretty and she's probably nice and isn't nuts like me."

He kissed on the top of her head. "I'm sorry Livvy…It's gonna be alright… It'll be fine baby. You are not nuts I'm sorry I said that. You're very passionate and I love it. You aren't crazy."

"I feel crazy…"

"I know but you're not."

"Will you help me? I didn't want anyone to know. Mommy would have made me go to the therapist and I don't like him."

"Of course I'll help you. We'll pick a different treatment Herrmann told me this might happen. He told me to get you to try group therapy and doing things for you. No one else."

"I still want you…logically I'm still very attracted to you I just physically don't want to have sex." She confessed.

"We'll figure it out Livvy. You should've said something sooner."

"I thought it'd go away. I didn't even tell Erin."

"Thank you for tellin' me babe."

-/-

When he pulled up with April he caught sight of Liv sitting near the entrance with Aaron in the carrier in her lap as she holds tightly to an excited Klaire bouncing like a neon green marshmallow itching to be free of her.

"Come on man, your wife doesn't like me and your kids are here."

"I know, she knows I invited you. I understand some stuff I didn't before. We've had a hard year. Especially for how much has happened for the amount of time it all has happened in. Look, I'd love to be your friend April but in order for that to happen it has to be open and honest. Whatever it is Liv sees between us it can never and will never happen. You're my past…" he waves to Liv. "That's my whole world."

He undoes his seatbelt. "You can sit here and decide but I've got to go catch someone before she wriggles free and shoots across the lot after me."

He hears April get out beside him. When he's a safe catchable distance from Klaire. Liv lets her go with a smile on her face as Klaire takes off for him as she does every day. He has to stop mid strike to squat down and catch her. "Hi Daddy!"

"Hi Klairey!" He kisses her cheek and little neck.

"Your face!" she leans away. Scowling at his days' worth of stubble.

"My face! Your face!" he puts Klaire down and she clings to his leg.

He bends to kiss Liv hello. "What?" she asked feeling his stare.

"You look beautiful." She wore a thermal and her Molly's top and jeans. Her hair is messily braided down one shoulder and she wore her glasses and minimal make up.

He kissed her. "You're buttering me up Kell."

"Never! You know I love the glasses. How was the thing?"

"I didn't go in…come with me next time?"

"Next time I'm there." He kisses her again and picks up Aaron's carrier. "Holy…" he stops himself from cursing as Klaire the parrot pats his leg. "He's heavy."

April snickers behind him. "What he is! And Klaire she's like a miniature person now. I have no clue how Liv carries them."

"I put Klaire on one of those baby leashes and hope for the best. New start?" She offers April her hand. "I'm Olivia."

"April."

"Baby can I just take him out and carry him?" He asks trying to get out of holding the carrier so he can avoid the unmanly stroller.

"No, it's cold."

"It's not cold inside its temperature controlled."

She just looks at him. "Fine wife you win. He stays in his packaging."

"Thank you."

"She's right… the going from cold to warm and back again is what causes colds and he is awful tiny."

"Fine gang up on me see if I care. I'll still have my babies on my side."

"Daddy…Plowers."

He looks down at Klaire. "No Flowers…Faaa…there's an F sound."

"Plowers!"

-/-

"I am not sure it is wise to set our daughter free in here Kelly." Liv said looking around one of Chicago's prettiest in door gardens.

"Let her live a little. I highly doubt she's the first little girl to trample some flowers." He returns.

"Plowers Daddy!" she screams as Liv takes off her coat.

"Scream be free my child!" Liv said letting her down from her lap.

She takes off yelling like a banshee. She stops. "My mama…" She says waiting for Liv.

He walks beside April but his eyes keep going to Liv who is a few paces ahead of them with Klaire. She's sitting on the ground smelling tulips with Klaire.

"Why do you keep looking at her so hard?"

"She has a bit of the baby blues. I wanted to make her smile. It's nice to achieve my goal." He said with a smile.

"Wait for Mama! And don't touch anything pokey." Liv shouts as Klaire shoots off again and she gets back in her chair.

"Klaire Katherine Eliza!" Kelly called out sharply. The girl stopped and waited for Liv to get to her side.

"You with perfectly accurate "Dad Voice" is so very creepy."

"Yeah well, my wife has challenges the average woman doesn't. We have to parent as a unit and I'm okay at it I guess." He paused. "Listen I'd like to see your parents. Thank them that summer at your house was a real true turning point for me." He said as they stopped next to some type of bamboo plant.

"Them letting you stay that was me…I said I have this really great friend and he has nowhere to go and then I think maybe I've got a true friend in this guy. Something real and then senior year he acts like I don't even exist like was he ashamed to be friend or whatever…"

"I was ashamed of me. My name, what my dad had done. The woman he slept with was a teacher there and he did it in their bed and let my mom walk on them. I felt like everyone knew and then my Mom asked me… before she checked herself in…. She asked me how long I had known and if I was helping him. So no April it wasn't you it was my stuff. And I'm sorry."

"Sometimes when I look at you I still see that guy and I might for a while."

"I'm not that guy. That guy would have never have fallen in love with that girl." He points to Liv. "That guy would have never seen her value or yours but I'm not that guy. I'm this guy and this guy loves that girl he worked so very hard to be worthy of and he means it when he apologizes. I'm sorry April I mean that."

"Kelly I need you to be my legs. She's headed for the cacti plants." Liv calls out.

"Oh Shit!" He hands off Aaron to April and chases after Klaire. He caught her and put her on his shoulders. Chanting "I win, I win, I win, and Klaire lost…Pfft." As he picked through destroyed pants.

"Did he really just…"

"Gloat? After saving his baby from Cactus needle doom? Yeah that's the man I married." Liv said.

"Pull his hair! Klaire pull!" April adds in.

"Only the gray ones." Kelly tells her.

"I still think it makes you look hot."

"You're only saying that because you have all that sexy red hair that will be dyed when you're gray and no one will know but me and the trash man."

"There is a swing around the corner I'm gonna go test it out with my number one girl. You good with him April?" He tells the very likely hope they can play nice.

"Yeah were good…" The were good...y watch him walk away. "I never expected him to be…"

"What? Whole, Loving, a good man." Liv looks up at her.

"Married, Settled, Happy, when I heard who he'd lost…"

"No. You don't get to do that. You don't get pick up a piece of the heaviest thing I have ever carried my entire family through. We're only here by the grace of God and the skin of our goddamn teeth. You don't get to pretend you know how broken he was. He wants to be your friend. I have no clue why but he does. So, I'll let you because I have no reason to fear you. You however should have a healthy fear and respect of me. I am the woman who tamed Severide I've done the impossible. I have never been loved by anyone the way Kelly loves me. He chooses me every day and yes he is a reckless hothead but he leads with his heart and I will never willingly give that up. I'll fight tooth and nail to keep him. I know exactly who Kelly is and you know what I let my man be himself and that means letting him be your friend. I know him I don't know you. Betray me and I can and will tear you down." She took the carrier from her

She considered the matter settled and moved on "You mentioned Carver Collins? His mind is a beautiful sexy thing. In the sack? He is woefully unsatisfying. Just ya know girl to girl."

Kelly walks back toward them carrying Klaire. "Okay so Mama," He started.

"I don't like where this is headed."

"We got a little bit too hyped. I think a certain someone needs an extra Dig dose."

"Is she diaphoretic?" Liv asked. She sat Aaron on the ground and drew her scope and a syringe of digoxin from her kit.

"No, sweating yet… just a gut feeling. I wanted to catch it before got to shock territory."

"Keep her quiet I've got to count her heartbeat by ear. April can you get a pulse for me."

"Pulse is fine…"

Olivia held up a finger for silence and counted to herself. "Kelly it's only about 30 over her normal rhythm how did you catch that?" Liv asked.

"She almost died on me. I made sure to know what to look for."

Olivia drew up the dose. "Here the honor is yours babe."

"Gee thanks." He said dryly.

"She takes it better for you."

"Oh fine… Ok Klaire make the face Daddy makes…Mirror game ready?" Kelly scowls, She scowls, he sticks out his tongue she does the same. He smiles and she smiles bigger he makes a shocked face she follows suit and he shoots the meds in. "Uh no, Ma'am I see you thinking it. Ladies do not spit on their daddies swallow the yucky lifesaving med now please." He said.

"How did you…" April asked in surprise

"My wife detects whining and pouty face. My super power is I am good at bending one tiny girl to my will. Klaire has an Ebstein's anomaly and small patent foremen ovale. Along with Chemically corrected WPW."

"Oh my God. You just used doctor speak." Liv said shocked.

"Turn ya on?"

"A little in sick way yes."

"I have heard you say it enough times it stuck. Come on lets go take Klaire to see the kissing trees."

"Wait! Why do you ask me to speak regular Kelly friendly English?"

"Because I still zone out at about the ninth word and just stare and nod but I'm making progress on like our 6th date you were explaining something and I got only maybe three words."

"Oooh reasons April should fear me and go…" Liv teased.

"Eleven siblings it's like a secret society. Uh her brother Owen could kill you and hide your body in a construction site. Her best friend has a gun and can run in heels. Livvy can actually kill you and make it look like an accident she detailed her plain once I totally believe her. Owen is evil and Vivi she's mean." He reports.

"These sound like reasons you fear her." April quipped.

"I do. She's smarter than me."

"Aww, baby you're smart. You could totally be a pyro."

"Thanks I think." He said letting Klaire down in front of two tress so close their bark was touching or kissing depending on your view of things.

"I promise to make sure if anyone other than me tries to kill you I'll give you an advance warning. I'll play that acoustic version of creep that makes you uncomfortable."

"Do your conversations always go like this?" April said laughing.

"Oh not always sometimes it devolves into sex talk or she'll give me a theoretical danger to get her out of. Her disability makes my choices limited and makes me get creative keeps my skill up. Then there's normal stuff books movies TV shows. We still disagree on if Joe Carroll on The Following will actually die."

"No."

"Yes."

"Music! You forgot music honey."

"Oh Yeah Liv's a snob."

"He likes Taylor Swift." Liv tattles.

"Still think he's hot April?"

"Hey now! Klaire loves it, it calms her I use all the tools at disposal."

Liv's phone rings and she dashes off to a work emergency Leaving Kelly alone with April at the kissing tree.

The only girl he kisses is Klaire.

-/-/=

When April pulls up to the converted brick warehouse home she is nervous but parks behind Kelly and goes to the side door as he'd said. It's loud even from out here. She hears laughter and shrieking children. People shouting and maybe music or a TV. Kelly must be in heaven. He loves making a raucous.

He had invited her to help prove he had changed.

She knocks and is greeted by a young black man. She had been expecting white people. "Is this the Grayne Residence?"

"It is you must be April, Kelly said you'd be coming I'm Langston. Livvy's brother. Come in! Kelly you're girl on the DL is here."

"Screw you Lang." Liv said sweetly.

"Too soon for jokes?"

She just looks at him. "I'm sorry…"

"It's whatever… April go over to the blonde for your assignment. Around here we have to pitch in I hope that's ok. There are too many people not too." Liv said. She then looked to Kelly. "Help your guest." He leaned down and kissed Liv.

"Got it. Hey April I'm typically given salads and baby watch."

"Why're you given salads and babies?" she said with a scowl.

"You can't fuck up bagged lettuce and babies like me and I like them. Actually most of the babies are mine. Josh is three now."

"Come with me you can toss salad with me." He reached down ruffling Klaire's dark hair when she attaches herself to his leg. "Hey Klairey girl."

"I did not fall asleep! I dosed off when he left! Tell her Kelly!" He hears Liv call out across the room.

"Tell who what?"

"Vivi I didn't fall asleep during sex."

"Technically all that we had was some foreplay then she sent me for a condom I didn't really wanna use and then she fell asleep in the five minutes I was gone."

"It was not my fault Rainey moved the condom hidey hole. Oh Rain that reminds me is Pin Cushion coming to dinner Liam invited his new girlfriend who at first I swore was a boy! Liv said standing at her usual spot aided by the chair as she worked on her pie filling.

""Wait how sure are you it's a girl?" Owen asked coming in. "Hey I'm Owen and I hate Kelly on principal but if you move in on my sisters man I'll have her best friend shoot you because I trust no one. Nice to meet you."

There's a beat of silence. "What I said what all of you were thinking! At least I was honest. Kelly likes you and our sister loves him and she trusts him so we'll accept you and welcome you because she does until you mess it up. I don't like Kelly because I'm never going to like anyone any of my little sisters choose it's just fact but I'm upfront about it.

"I can respect that."

"Good because her best friend will shoot you." Owen said with a half grin.

Kelly watches Liv hide a smile behind her hand. He winked at her. "Yeah how sure are with this one's a girl?" Kelly said retracking the conversation.

"Well I said He was hot and Liam corrected my pronoun usage. Apparently Syd is gender fluid."

"And that is?" Cole asked. He said dipping into the pie filling only to Liv swat his hand away.

"I think it's when one person identifies with neither gender completely."

"Wait! I'm confused. So like it varies day to day what she identifies as? Lang asked.

Liv shrugged. "I guess so. If we're confused imagine how Liam feels."

"I'm still stuck on how you thought she was hot." Kelly horned in.

"She is in a tatted up androgyny sort of way. So many tattoos the little ones are going to think she's a living coloring book."

"So…are threesomes out?"

Liv died laughing but her father looking seriously at him says. "She's my daughter."

"Right sorry."

Liv goes back to her chocolate silk pie and Kelly sneaks Klaire baby carrots as he makes the salad. "Smaller pieces Babe." Liv said without looking up.

"How did you even know?"

"I'm the mom and fed her cake frosting from the jar last week. I'm just glad that's healthy but anyway smaller. Rainey back to Pin Cushion is he coming?"

"Yes I wanna know if Pin Cushion actually looks like the baby of Marilyn Manson and Dave Navarro."

"Daddy!" Klaire says.

"Yes Babe?" He asks tipping her chin up when he notices she's not chewing the carrot. She spits the half chewed carrot in the palm cupping her chin.

"Yucky." She says with a scrunched face.

"Not a fan of carrots then?"

"Yuck Daddy."

"Yeah I got that." He deadpanned.

He goes over to the sink beside Liv and washes his hands he whispers something to her lowly and drops a kiss on her shoulder. He scoops up his little follower and brings her back over toward April.

He proceeds to fix the salad with one hand and the baby planted on his hip. It's odd how comfortable Kelly is here. How well he fits and how obviously he loves everyone even Owen who he seems to have a semi friendly rivalry with. He's happy.

"I'm not bringing him you all will call him Pin Cushion to his face."

"Only because we can't remember his name darling."

"Ha! Match point to Mom." Lang said.

They sit down to dinner.

"So any interesting cases Ollie?" Cole asked as he passed the mashed potatoes.

"Yes actually, they've been short staffed in the main ER so I took a shift. I reattached a penis."

The table is silent for half a beat. "I have questions." Grady said.

"I might have the answers." Liv said handing Kelly a bowl of corn to spoon on the Klaire's highchair tray as she was sitting beside him this week. Demanding his attention every two seconds.

"Why did he have his thing out where someone could cut it off and how did you reattach it? Like did you just sew it on? Can he still pee? Was there tons of blood? "Grady rattles off.

"Yes because that's what every man here is concerned about can he still pee?" Lang muttered.

"Well honestly he stuck it somewhere it wasn't supposed to be so…" Olivia said,

"How do you get that mad though like what makes a woman go oh yeah I think I'll cut off my man's junk?" Rainey added in.

Just then Liam walks in with a girl with short cropped hair on the sides that is long on the top and swept back accentuating the sharp angles of her pretty face.

She gives a wide warm smile when Hadley reaches out to trace her hand down one of the woman's completely sleeved arms. "Pretty." Hadley murmurs.

"Thanks sweets."

"Everyone this is Sydney. Syd, this is everyone plus some chick I don't know. The lady admiring your body art is my baby sister one of them anyway her name is Hadley. She also answers to trouble…"

"I not trouble Lee-um." Hadley says mulishly.

"What'd we miss?" Liam asked before leaning down to kiss Liv's cheek. "Unless you are suddenly polyamorous I need deets on Bambi eyes over there." He whispered in her ear.

"Nothing much your Dad asked the interesting cases question instead of the just standard how was your day sweetheart and now we're discussing penis removal and the motivation behind doing so." Kelly said.

"Not the gender reassignment kind of motivation I assume."

"Nope just your standard you screwed my sister and now you shall pay by literally forfeiting your manhood kind." Liv said picking up her drumstick. "Which, I sort of get honestly."

"You get it?" Kelly said leaning away from Liv skeptically eyeing his wife.

"Oh are you going to do the bashful puppy who doesn't know he's attractive thing again?" She asked and Vivi burst out laughing.

"Do what?"

"You do this thing when I catch some girl or one of your many exes staring at you longingly. You act like you don't notice or have any clue what you've done to garner attention. You do it so I won't be mad and I'll find you charming. Which it would be if you weren't fully aware and downright cocky you can be about your looks."

"I don't do that!"

She laughed at him out rightly. "Yes, you do. Shall I provide examples?"

"Say no dude just agree with her." Grady said.

"All I'm saying is I understand the anger that might be needed for such an act for example if you are used to women looking at your man like he's a giant very perverted candy store the second he looks back at someone who is not you in a similar manner you get very stabby urges."

"You'd never cut it off. I've lived with you." Vivi points out.

"Never say never ViviAnne. I did pro and con the idea of stabbing him the eye with my pen light for looking at certain women like they were Christmas trees decorated with naked women."

"You did not!" She just looked at Kelly. "Oh you did, I'm not sure if I should be terrified or turned in."

"I wanna hear the list." Owen said leaning up over the table.

"Pros: He'd have one less eye took look with, I'd feel better at least for a little bit, and pirates are sexy."

Kelly laughed. "The last pro is cute."

"What were the cons that saved my eyes just out of curiosity?"

"I like your eyes they're pretty when you are not looking at me like I speak Hindi or I'm crazy. Aaron has your eyes I'd feel guilty every time I looked at him and I wasn't sure you could be a one eyed firemen, glass eyes freak me out and I really like my penlight."

Kelly is laughing so hard he's leaning on her as he dips down to kiss her temple. "God I love you, so much. Is Fear of glass eyes even a thing?"

"Hold on I'm googling." Vivi calls out.

"There is something wrong with you!" April said. She continued when no one said anything. "She just said she gave serious consideration to harming you and you're laughing."

"It's not real marriage until you wonder if you could fit him down the garbage disposal after you have repeatedly told him to pick up his dirty underwear. They're fine sweetie. Besides the whole you thing is over or wouldn't be here." Mara said with a knowing smile.

"To be fair though you look at that English dude like he's a naked Christmas tree so we're even. "Kelly points out.

"Ronan is Jewish he'd be a naked Hanukkah bush." Liv quipped in return and Kelly choked on another laugh.

"Dodged a bullet there baby. You could never be kosher."

"Touché…So, Syd as you can see we're very open and slightly twisted and yes there are a ton of us but you'll get used to it. I'm Olivia, Liam's oldest sister. Welcome to the brood. This is Kelly my husband. He's just glad to not be the newest initiate any longer."

"Can I put my change in totem pole status on your Facebook Liv?"

"What like I'm still married to Liv and since I refused to be normal and get my own page I've hijacked hers to report a major life change I am no longer on the bottom of the Grayne family totem though sadly I still maintain the top notch of Owen's personal hit list?" She said sinking back into to his embrace.

"Pretty much. Gotta have life goals."

April muffled her own laughter at that. "So enough with the motivations I need to know the gory surgical stuff I wasn't there! Oh and is the new guy from plastics a d-bag."

"See that's the thing, it was so damn precise. The divisional lines between the corpus caverenousum and …."

"That's it baby I'm tapping out." Kelly muttered. "I mean it's nice to see the two of you getting along and being all smart and doctor like but I'm done I've reached the limit."

"But I even used a big word you like those." She pouted.

"Yes but I have that particular big word in or on my own body."

"You have most of the big words I use you just don't know it. "

"Don't ruin big words for me that am mean." He said kissing her.

They go with subject change easily enough and soon April is trying to keep up with four different conversations all over lapping as Klaire is passed around the table eating off everyone's plates because Kelly had decided to let her out of high chair baby hell.

"HI! "She said brightly when passed into April's lap. She reached with dirty hands for the curls framing April's face.

"She likes things that shine and long hair I can take her if you want." Liv offered.

"She's fine, Hi sweet baby girl." She said looking down into her upturned chubby baby face. Her dark eyes carefully inspecting April.

They finish eating the disband to do dishes or play games and watch TV. She had lost Kelly at some point and was looking at the pictures going along the wall banking on the stairs.

There's one of Liv and Kelly on what is obviously their wedding day they stand and sit respectively with huge smile on their faces showing off their wedding bands. What she can't figure out is the display of baby clothes behind them.

Then there is one of the whole group. Kelly has Klaire on his shoulders and Liv very pregnant stands with the aide of the chair arms wrapped around Kelly as they smile widely very clearly their own little family despite the huge crowd.

Kelly comes down the stairs. "Sorry I had to change Aaron's diaper. Liv is down for the count doing double duty at both ER's is killing her."

"Walk me out?"

"Sure let me just." He walked down the stairs and tossed the baby monitor to one of the identical twins who were also Liv's sisters at least she thought they were introductions were complex. "Mila, listen for Aaron under no circumstances are you to wake him. He's in your parent's room. Livvy is sleeping don't wake her either.

They walk to the kitchen entrance and find Rainey on the phone in a little alcove. "Is that him?" Hey Pin Cushion! Can't wait to meet you!" Kelly hollers and the girl cuts her deep blue eyes at him mouthing "Asshole." And flipping him the bird as Kelly laughs pulling on his coat.

-/-/-

They stand at her car. "Your family, they're nice people. Very scarily open but nice."

"I got lucky when I found Liv. When I rescued her I mean. She's so quick witted she takes shit off no one. I was nervous meeting them I don't do families well and despite that they were welcoming anyway. I think Liv's dad finally trusts me. They have become my family not just Liv's and I wanted to show you I've changed and just want to tell your parents thank you. They're part of the reason I do what I do. They're part of what gave me Liv, Klaire, and Aaron. I'm different. I' m happy and I have a home that isn't… my home is not a place it's a person. It's all those crazy people."

They hear a knob turn. "Where Daddy go? Him Bye Byes?" A little head pops out the door.

"I'm right here Klaire. I'm not bye bye."

She steps out. "No Stay its cold baby. Where are your shoes?"

"Off." Klaire says as though it's a stupid question.

"Yeah I got that part."

He walked over and picked her up and zipped her up in his jacket with him.

April is smiling at him oddly. "Come by for dinner next day off Mom still makes Chili Pie the way you like. Bring Liv, and the babies Daddy will get a kick out of them.

"Bye Kelly. Thanks for the dinner."

"Bye April." He watches her get in the car and pulls away. Klaire waves too.

"Sweet girl, ready to go in?"

"Canny!" she said rifling through his pockets for candy.

"You cannot have gum. Mommy will kill me!"

"Mama seeps."

"Mama will still find out bug." He said as they reached the door. "In we go Klairey girl. Daddy needs an N-A-P-."

She huffed and sighed. "Kay… Daddy girl."

"Not exactly but I'll go with it for now." He said kissing her forehead as they entered the kitchen.

AN: I own nothing but Liv, Klaire, Baby Aaron, Syd, Ronan, and the Grayne's . Along with my sections of plot. The "Maggie Seaver " mentioned in previous chapters is April IMDB's early intel was wrong. If you liked it please review this was the longest chapter to date and it kinda kicked my ass. Ronan May or may not be back tell me if you'd like a visual poster!-MM


	31. Chapter 31

He lifts his weight off her and kisses her forehead a final time before rolling off of her with a satisfied little sigh that has her laughing to herself.

"What?" he asked.

"Relieved Kell?" She says giving him appraising side glance.

"I still got it." He brags pulling her against him.

"You never lost it… I just got it back is all." She corrects.

"Whatever. Cuddle me."

"We don't have time. "She complains even as she's settling down across him.

"After glow woman…after glow with me." He mumbles.

She's listening to Kelly's heartbeat floating on the line between wakefulness and sleep when a screaming cry splits the air. She's in Kelly's tee shirt, transfers into her chair and is at their door by the time Kelly has his jeans on. She's out the door and down the hall into Klaire's room. He's two steps behind her. Klaire stands in her crib crying there's yellowish puss oozing out her left ear.

"It's okay sweet baby." Liv soothes going to pick her up.

"Mama..." Klaire whines her lip quivering and the whole nine yards.

"I know baby…" Liv wipes the huge tears dripping down the baby's face.

"Mama." She whimpered again clinging to Liv. Then there's the sound and smell of a full on diaper blow out.

Kelly just stands dumb struck. "What the fuck happened to her ear."

"Ear infection most likely. I'm going to clean her up and take her in to my ER." She said wheeling to the changing table one handed as Klaire refused to sit her lap preferring to stand latched on to Liv's neck. Knotting her little hands into her hair for added assurance.

"Can you handle A, Shay for me?"

"I got brother if you've got her. Anything in particular he needs to wear?" Kelly answered handing Liv a clean diaper and wipes.

"No just feed him a bottle and dress him warm. Drop him off at the daycare."

"Ok I can do that. I got it." He steps up and kisses Klaire.

"Daddy… owie…" She looks up at him imploringly big brown eyes shining as he blocks a grab for her ear.

He kissed the top of her head again. "I know baby Mama is better at the owie fixing."

"Kelly how'd I miss this?"

"She's not a crier she never whined or pulled at her ears. You didn't miss the signs because there were none." He answered kissing the top of Liv's head.

Kelly gets everything he needs to done very quickly. He has Aaron dressed and his car seat in no time. He can hear Liv singing to Klaire. "You've got that James Dean day dream look in your eye, I've got good girl faith and tight little skirt…this is not an appropriate song to sing to you!"

Kelly laughs she has skipped a few lyrics but he won't mention it. He has Aaron and is almost out the door. "Goodbye ladies we collectively love you. Feel better Klairey Girl."

He is halfway to the car before he realizes he hasn't kissed Liv good bye or let her say be careful.

He really doesn't have time to turn back. He'll kiss her if he goes into her ER today. He promises himself. He wads a blanket up and balances Aaron's bottle on it. His phone buzzes and he reads a text message. "I will keep you updated but she's going to be fine. We love you too and be careful for me would you? There's a lip print and a heart emoji following up the words.

He texts her back quickly. "I can do that. I'll try to bring you coffee. I know Klaire will be fine because you're taking care of her."

Kelly drops Aaron off at the hospitals daycare and heads in. He's only twenty minutes late.

"Sorry chief, sick baby at home." He says as he passes him to put his stuff away. He shoots a text off. "Aaron is at daycare. He dislikes Metallica. I guess he got your music snobbery Haha! How's Klaire."

"Bite me Severide. She's clean but trying to kill me with sicky eyes."

"Only if you say please and she's not actively trying to kill you."

Sometime later he receives a face time call. He answers. All he can see is the top portion of Klaire's head and she's looking at him skeptically trying to figure out how she did this. "Mama gave you her phone didn't she bug?"

She shrieks happily "Daddy!" then she precedes to pauses him "Daddy Bye byes?"

"Liv! Babe she paused me."

Liv unpaused him. Liv smiled brightly at him. "I have no clue how she did this. She has an ear infection and upset tummy but some medicine and she'll be fine."

"Good." The fire tone dings. "That's my cue girls. Love you."

-/-

The call is for chemical processing plant explosion. All of the victims require emergent care as they have inhaled some Hydrocholorical something or other. He passes Liv at the entrance as she's leaving. She's on her phone. "Hey baby any kids headed my way?"

"No. all adults."

"Good. Not good."

"I got you Liv." He grinned at her.

"We're going to shuffle some people around." she says into the phone.

"I'll catch you after Babe." He called out moving into the man ER.

"Count on it McFireballs. Check on Klaire if I'm busy please." She shouts back.

"Gotcha covered." He returns and disappears from view.

-/-/-

Liv has cleared her urgent care section as best as she can and is going with Hannah to oversee the people switch out. She hears a rather horrendous sounding explosion and then feels it beneath her wheels. She shoves Hannah out of the way just as the new guy Hallstead is locking down the doors. "Let me in! You need the extra hands. My husbands in there!"

"The assailant could possibly be biological agent carrier. I can't let you in."

"Fuck!" Liv growled out/

"She's right you need the hands I'm a trauma surgeon." Hannah says from behind her. She shoves Liv back.

"Just tell me if my husband is okay."

"He should have been black tagged but one of his men was insistent. We'll see what Hannah can pull off." Halstead answers callously.

"You Black Tag him and I will kill you!" She threatens fully meaning it.

The guys go a bit soft on her. "I wanna be wrong Severide! Stay put, even if I were to let you in you can't navigate the damage in the chair." He pries open the door to let Hannah in.

"Hannah? Promise me you won't give in until…Until there's no choices left." She said suddenly fighting off panic and tears. "Halstead Get me Matt Casey please."

"You got it Sev. Sides I know He's a tough SOB to make it with you." Hannah said with a reassuring grin and then was gone.

And the doors close and she's there trapped in the space between the front entrance and the ER doors. Tears well in her eyes but she shoves them down as Casey approaches. "What'd my stupidly brave man do now huh?"

He shoved April Sexton out of the path of the grenade." Matt said plainly.

"Grenades? Really a grenade? Of course." She laughed a bit manically. "Damn it Kelly! Shrapnel then?"

"I think so yeah."

"Okay. I know you need to work just um…keep me in the loop?"

"Of course."

-/-/=

She grows bored quickly; Liv is not made for stillness amidst crisis. She is made for organization and quick thinking she's made to work in crisis.

She counts the ceiling tiles. There are 12 of them an even dozen. One for each of the Grayne children. She laughs "Jesus Fuck, What is wrong with me." She mutters scrubbing her hands down her face. She takes a breath and let it out.

Her thoughts go in circles. She goes every detail of the morning. The warm pressure of his lips on her neck his deep satisfied chuckle at her shiver at the scrape of his teeth, the feel of his hands shoving her thighs further apart. The way his breathing matched her own, the unfaltering sound of his heart beneath her ear. The exact pitch of his voice as he said "I love you." The gravel in the words. The tenseness of his body and the comforting weight he provided.

She cannot breathe.

Her sister's words haunt her. "I never really thought the last time would be the last time you know? But then I guess that's what makes the lasts so important." Vivi confessed drunkenly.

"Last words, Last kisses, Last breaths, last I love yous. Last heartbeats." She explained when Liv looked at her intently.

"I'm not ready for lasts. I never will be." She said to herself into the air.

She sits and stares at the walls because if she listens to chaos around her knowing family and friends are in the middle of it and she's helpless to change any of it she will lose her damn mind. She stares and stares then stares more. When she can form Bart Simpson's Face in the whorls of the faded plaster if she tilts her head to the right and squints.

Yep she's definitely losing it.

_/-/-

She closes her eyes and waits, for what she is too afraid to ponder.

As she sits at the kitchenette in their old place opposite Shay she knows she's asleep but can't force herself to wake.

"When you fell in love with him the second time do you remember what you said to me? What you asked?" Shay asked leaning onto the table

Liv glances down into her coffee for a moment. "Aristotle said everything in life takes some measure of courage. I guess that includes loving Kelly." Liv smiles at Shay. "Are you real?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes, it does." Suddenly for reasons unknown to her it is vitally important to her Shay be some semblance of alive in this instantance.

"I am as real as you need me to be."

Liv hummed at that. "Do you remember what else you said?"

"That I wasn't sure how I made peace with dangers of his job the first time round but the second had been no picnic, would you please watch out for him for me."

It's shay's turn to nod. "And I am doing that. I've got him. It's okay to breathe Liv."

"Okay, we named Aaron after you." She replied through the tears suddenly choking her.

She smiled softly. "Tell Vivi I see her just fine where I'm at. She makes for the best view in the house." And then she fades from view the room drops away.

She jerks awake to someone tapping on the automatic doors safety glass. She wipes at her wet cheeks before looking over.

She turns to see April. She straightens. "How is he?"

"I just thought you might wanna know he saved me." There's an odd pride in her tone.

"Yes he saved you. Yay you! How is he? Liv retorted dryly getting down to facts.

Aprils snarls out an answer. "They're digging shrapnel from his chest cavity how the fuck do you think he is? He flat lined!"

Anger lit in Liv like wildfire and she unloaded on the other woman "Girl you best hit your knees in thanks to every deity you can think of that this glass is between us. Because if there weren't you'd find out how cripples can whip ass too. "She smiled when April looks shocked. "How dare you act like I'm out of line! He's my husband, how dare you say he flat lined as if I am the dumb bitch he had to push out of the way. He is my husband and I'm stuck here in this Goddamn cock sucking box so don't even!"

"Liv…" April started again

Liv gave a sardonic sharply edged smile. "Do not say you love him. What he did? It wasn't done from love but from duty. He'd of shoved anyone standing there away because he was doing what he was born to do and that's save people do not confuse his sense of duty with love."

April took a breath. "Make yourself useful and get out of my face, Nurse Sexton." Liv dismissed the other woman coolly

-/-/-

Liv can feel herself starting to spin out. She's steadies her breathing pulls out her script pad for lack of anything better to write on and she does as her therapist tells her. She writes down what she feels.

I am scared. What happens if you die and I don't get a goodbye? What if you die thirty feet from me? You could be taking your last breath and I am helpless. I am terrified. I am completely useless yet perfectly capable. 

I wonder when life stopped being fair then I remember it never was because as Shay would say life is a total bitch.

I keep thinking of your hands and how I know the lines in your palms better than I know how to do a mattress stitch. I can do them in my sleep. I probably have done them in my sleep. My point Kell, I know your life line is longer than mine. It used to bring me comfort knowing that as I ran my thumb down it as you slept. Now, I'm scared it was a lie.

I know that I don't want to be lonely again and life without you will be unbelievably lonely and entirely dim. I'm afraid of going home without you and trying to explain to Klaire no matter how hard she looks you won't be there. Please don't make me do that.

They have forgotten by now that I'm in here but that's okay. I want to be angry at you. Angry would be easier because the pride I feel… it makes me want to cry. I want…

She stops writing because she's stopped breathing as sobbing over powers her body.

-/-/-

"Chief… I know it's not the most important thing but you know Liv is stuck in the entry way right?" Cruz says.

"Your point Cruz?"

"My point is she's been alone in there for hours and she's finally breaking. If we leave her like this Severide will kill us I mean it Chief. Sobbing and hyperventilating.

Jay who is standing there interviewing someone over heard. He reaches for Bowden's Radio. "Keep her calm as best you can and I'll get Erin here as soon as possible."

"Dude I just shouted her name and it's like I don't even exists. "

"She's having a panic attack Joe… just try." Chief advised.

-/-

She has no idea how long she sat there sobbing but she hears insistent banging on the hospital entrance door. "Livvy!" her name is shouted firmly.

"Erin…" She sniffled trying to suck it all in.

"Do you have your meds on you?" Erin asked as she watched her friend rock back forth crying.

"He's going to die… he's going to die in an exam ten yards from me. He's going to die and they won't let me in… He'll die and I won't be able to touch him. Or kiss him goodbye." She rambled

"No He's not." Erin said tears brimming. "Take the medicine. It'll take off the edge."

"I'm not fucking crazy Erin!" Liv snarled.

"Liv, honey come on you know I don't think that. Just look at me and we'll breathe. We'll breathe together." Erin puts her hand up on the glass. Liv turns and mirrors the motion even as her body is still shaking. "In slow….hold….out slow…."

Liv repeats the process half a dozen times.

Once she is settled and not sobbing she asked the obvious question. "Why're you here?"

"Jay is working the human –virus-bomb –case."

"Shit someone saw me didn't they?" Liv said looking embarrassed. "I'm getting under control you know? The depression I'm beating it back….I just this is extreme and…it's my guy this time E. It's my guy."

"I know it is." She sank to the ground. "I'm going to sit with you ok?"

"Actually, Klaire has an ear infection and I haven't checked on Aaron all day."

"I'm on it." Erin hopped up giving her thumbs up.

As Erin's leaving the guys remaining outside come in through the doors carrying extinguishers. "What's happening?" Liv asked looking up at Mouch.

"Ceiling and wirings on fire." He said and kept walking and she trapped again.

Sometime Later.

The door to her left is opening. "ER's Open. " Halstead says.

"And Kelly?" She rolls through the door only to be stopped by debris.

"Never been more glad to be wrong Mrs. Severide."

Hermann steps over and around all of the debris to gather her into a hug. She stifles a sob. "Where is he can I go around to get to him or-"She stops speaking as Hermann wordlessly picks her up bridal style and carries her over everything to Kelly. Mills grabs a chair from the lobby and puts it as close as he can to Kelly. "There ya go Livvy." Hermann says smiling and she feels like crying,

"Thank you."

Hannah smiles at her. "He fought for you. I told him I promised you I'd try but he had to try too. He had to fight. He fought when he needed too."

"Do you need a hand?"

"Just be his wife. That's your only job right now."

"Thank you for jumping in and saving him. You could have stayed in that entrance and been safe." She said taking Kelly's hand and threading their fingers the action anchors her in place.

"Sev."

"Yeah."

"Don't thank me for doing my job. The same job you would have done given that he wasn't the center of your world."

"You noticed that huh?" Liv smirked.

"Most of the hospital has."

"Would you mind not telling him? He already thinks he's hot shit."

Hannah laughed. "Married long enough the novelty has worn off but not the love."

"It has nothing to do with that. The man flirted with me minutes after saving my life. He is a confident man."

-/-/=

Liv sits with her family in the ICU waiting room counting the allotted amount of time before she can go in to see him.

"I thought today might be the day. I really did."

"It wasn't. Don't be defeatist Sis." Owen said as Liv leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I'm glad to be wrong." She whispered back watching Klaire drop her unwanted jelly beans in Cole's palm saying. "Daddy can has…." After each drop.

"Should we crush her giving spirit now and tell her everyone hates licorice jellybeans, including her Dad-dee." Owen asked mimicking the way Klaire said the words.

"No, because he'll eat them just to make her happy." Liv looked at her phone's time display anxiously waiting for her fifteen minute interval to see Kelly. "This waiting shit is for the birds I'm starting to feel like I'm living in a Jodi Picoult novel."

"I hear that." Vivi said from the seat opposite Liv.

"I dreamt of her…of Shay. She said she had him and to tell you that you made for the best view from where she was."

"So the gays get into heaven then?" Vivi joked to hide the ache the thought of Leslie sometimes still brought on.

"They do in my idea of paradise." Liv said with a smile. "I'm about to pull the I work here card."

"Looks like someone already did." Liam whispered from the chair closest to the door. Liv looks up in time to see April exiting his room.

"If I wasn't so goddamn tired I'd go full white trash hood rat crazy Irish bitch on her ass."

"I thought you were friends?" Her father said glancing back at her.

"I was trying for Kelly but given her attitude today I'm done trying." She takes a breath and shakes the stiffness of being still too long from her body. "Watch Klaire would you Daddy?"

"Sure sweetheart." He poured the jelly beans into her palm. "Don't forget Klaire's present."

"Aaron should be fine I just changed him."

"I've got A. Shay. Go warn Kelly before we all converge on him." Vivi said pulling Aaron out of the carrier at Owen's feet.

-/-

Kelly seemed to be turned over resting. "Hey… I can come back if you want."

He turned back over with a grunt. Liv sat close enough to touch her face half lit by the monitors. "You're gorgeous but who are you again?" He asks utterly serious.

Her eyes grow big and teary. "Joking baby I know exactly who you are…" He giggled at her sudden angry expression.

"You asshole!" She said stopping herself before playfully swatting at him like usual.

"Couldn't resist. Don't hit me, laughter hurts enough as it is."

"Promise me something?" she asked growing serious.

"Anything?" He held out his hand for her to hold.

"No more grenades please." She said concretely.

"Hey I gotta give em' time to rebuild right?" He said playfully.

Tears glaze her eyes. "Don't joke. You flat lined and I have literally never been more scared in my life."

"I'm sorry baby, I know that you know I never mean to worry you." He replied lowly. He took her hand.

"I'm not mad that you did what you did. I know who I married I'm not stupid. You wouldn't be any good at your job if you were selfish but I need you to promise…I don't know exactly what I need you to promise but I know that I love you and you really scared me today."

"I love you too. More than you can ever know." He kissed the back of the hand he was holding. "Did you bring me a present?" He nods to her other hand.

"Daddy can has… from Klairey." She pours the candy into his palm.

"Ooh I love the licorice ones." He deadpans.

"Liar…just hide them under your pillow."

They hear a shrill scream followed by sob filled words. "I go Paw Paw! My mama go! I go."

"And Klaire is tapped for the day. You should head home baby. She's sick." Kelly said with a sad little smirk.

"She wants to see you."

"I'll prop up and try to not to look dead. If you'll carry her over and hold up to that window." He bargains.

"Then you'll go back to sleep?"

"Yes if you kiss me first." He grins up at her widely all dimples and shiny eyes and her heart stutters.

She gets a close as the bed will allow and affixes the chair to standing position. She leans over careful to not put any of her weight over on to him. She kisses him soft and slow and even as he is kissing her back she can tell he's feeling some pain because he makes no play for control. "I love you. Be ready because Klaire has waited all day for Daddy time." She says as the break apart and she returns to seated position.

-/-

When Liv lifts her up to the window and Klaire smiles upon seeing him a lump rises in his throat. "Daddy!" he hears her say.

"Hi Baby. You feel better?" She leans over and kisses the glass of the window.

He blows her kisses back even as the action hurts. Tears leak down his face. Today had been a close one. He smiles as Liv gestures to the button by his head. "Pain meds!"

-/-/-

He is sidelined by the injury for a solid nonnegotiable six weeks. Liv and the department both having put their collective feet down. By week three despite being with the kids more he is desperate to go back.

He loves his kids. He really truly does they're some incredible little shits and yet…. "It's the Mickey Mouse Club House! Come inside its fun inside. M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E." He sings because it has been stuck in his head for three days. "What in the fuck have you done to me K-L-A-I-R-E-Y." He needs out!

He rubs a hand down his face and returns to loading the dishwasher for Liv.

"Daddy!" Klaire says with a manic little laugh at the end. Its sends ice down his spine. He takes a beat before turning.

"Where…did…the… chocolate… come…from?" he asked looking at his child covered in the treat from head to foot.

"Good!" She grins up at him.

"One.. two…three. Four…five… six…seven…eight…nine…ten."

"Daddy can has!" She extends her hand palm up to reveal a half squished Hershey's kiss.

He fights a laugh. Laughing will not help. "Please tell me you didn't touch the white couches. This is my fault because I left the damn bag within your determined little reach but…you need to ask me first okay baby? From now on we ask." He looks down at her trying to project stern reproach with his hands on his hips. He fails she just smiles. She's got him totally wrapped around her tiny pinky.

"Ask?" she cocked her head at him in utter confusion.

He bites the bullet and picks her up. "Bath time!"

"Baths okay." She agrees and he jerks his face out of big smacking kiss range.

She wraps him into a grubby hug instead and he can feel the chocolate transfer on to him. "I should have been nicer to my mother. I'm clearly paying for something."

-/-/-

Liv laughs at a text and Erin asks. "What?" from across the table where they're having a mid-work day coffee.

"Kelly just texted I miss you with the sobbing emoticon. This doesn't actually mean he misses me it means the spawn are testing him.

-/-

They decide to have a "for no reason at all romantic dinner" before Kelly goes back on shift. He is mostly ready just waiting on Liv. Liv is upstairs with Erin getting ready. "I don't have the body to pull this off anymore Erin. I look like a slut."

"Then you should definitely wear whatever that is." He shouts up to her.

While he's waiting on Liv. He shares a root beer with Klaire and watches clips from last night's game with Aaron sleeping on his chest.

The doorbell rings and he props Aaron in the couch corner and goes to answer it with Klaire and her sippy cup hot his trail until the baby gate stops her.

"Hey April." He says as he opens the door wide.

"So I was wondering if I could take up on the offer to go out after all? I mean I'm mostly done packing."

"If that's your packing outfit you must do it differently than I do."

"I was trying things on as I went. You like?"

"It holds appeal sure. Are you drunk?" He asked with a smile.

"Nope." She said going to steal his drink only to realize it's a soft drink. "Really? Root beer?"

"It's the only drink at this point in time that I can have with Klaire."

"Right Klaire…"She said if she was annoyed.

"What're you doing here April? For real? I would have taken you to dinner as a sendoff but something tells me you want something more than that." He said doesn't hear the elevator landing on the second floor.

Liv and Erin stand at the landing while Klaire awaits Daddy's return at the baby gate. "Do you remember when we'd go Steph Hillers house to sit on the roof during the lighting storms and I'd hold on to you any time they got close."

"Yeah what's your point?"

"It was all a front. To be close to you. Be in your arms."

"April…" Kelly hedged and Erin made a disgruntled noise.

"I want him to do something worthy of your ire first Erin." Liv whispered to her.

"I'd always wondered what'd be like to be with you."

Kelly sighed and scratched his neck in what Liv knew was a nervous tick. "Some questions have go unanswered April I am married. Happily so."

"She's all wrong for you… no way you're happy like this. With that-"She gestured aimlessly.

"With that What?" Erin asked.

"Baby I didn't I promise… I would never when I said it was the last time I'd make that kind of mistake I meant it." Kelly said eyes automatically going to Liv who is picking up Klaire.

"I was going to say prudish bitch but…I've heard rumors about how the prude part ain't true so I guess we'll go with out of her league bitch." April said meanly.

"Toss out all the names you want honey. He turned you down. Why don't you save face and walk away now before this just gets sad?" Liv snarled back.

"He's only with you out of some weird misplaced pity."

"Leave." Kelly said coldly.

"Kelly…" April began to back pedal.

"Don't even speak my name again. I used to be shitty person but now just you are. Apologize to my wife and leave before I have you charged with harassment and slander."

"But-"

"Let me make myself crystal clear for you. Yes, I might have found you attractive up until about thirty seconds ago and I might have even lead you to believe something might happen but I don't and it won't ever happen and not just because I'm married but because there are a lot of things I feel for Liv but pity has never been one of them. The fact that you think I can love out of pity and nothing more makes me sick I feel unbelievably sorry for you. Please leave. I will not ask you again." Kelly replied in his own unflinchingly honest way.

"That was better than mean girls." Erin comments once the door is closed.

"Almost ready baby… have you seen my hair spray? We are still going right?" Liv asked like nothing had happened.

"Oh hell yeah. Gotta let you wear the dress a bit before it hits the floor." He answered with a grin that made her stomach flip.

"Well wait second … are you getting short of breath or chest pains?"

"The only thing taking my breath away right now is you. Go finish your hair Bridgette Bardot so we can go already." He ordered.

"You knew what I was going for! That makes me happy." She said as Kelly came the stairs and stopped before her.

"I happy!" Klaire announces.

Kelly chuckles at her. "I'm happy that you're happy baby." He said as he lifted Klaire from her lap. He watched Liv roll off. "Can you sleep late for me Klaire?"

"Not seeps not seeps." She shook her head while twisting the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Great!"

-/-

Erin awakes to a crashing sound and hurries into the living room gun aloft. When she flips on the light she sees Kelly standing front of Liv sitting on the banquet table. Skirt hiked up around her thighs as she giggles drunkenly as Kelly tries to unzip her. "Don't tear it…shhh. We're going to wake them up. Wait! Kelly the lights are on!"

He mutters into the side of her neck as his kisses move downward. "Maybe that's because you opened you're eyes. You're the most talkative sex partner I have had you know that?"

"Erin has her gun pointed at you….wait!" she laughed uproariously. "I haven't woken her up with sex noise since college. That's awesome." Liv said swaying a little and Kelly steadied her while looking over his shoulder.

"Continue on but if you wake your babies they're your problem." Erin said with a wave of her gun and left.

Kelly waits until Erin has returned back upstairs to deposit Liv on the couch. "I don't really think it's good for your lungs if you overexert yourself maybe we should stop. For your health." She said dropping a kiss on to his mouth.

He said laying her on the couch. "I could tell you what I think of that opinion valid as it may be or I could just show you." He pulled down the shoulders of her dress.

"Right…I'm not your doctor I vote for show… so show me." She mumbles the last half of the sentence when he nips ah her breasts flowing up from the cups of her bra.

"We can play doctor next." He said grinning up at her.

"We can I have a medical license and everything." She quipped while pulling him by the shirt in for a messy kiss.

"You're so damn drunk it's cute." He comments.

"Maybe a little but I'll get the job done. " She gives him a sly smile while fumbling to unbutton his shirt. He just yanked it off and hiked her skirt up around her waist. He sits back in shock for a second.

"You didn't wear panties? The whole night you sat there all prim and proper with no panties on?"

"I can't in this dress you can see the lines. That's tacky." She said as she grabbed the front of his jeans to pull him closer. "So I'm practically naked and you have yet to make any serious moves. You don't want me to think she was right do you?" she asked and it is even said in a jovial tone but he takes it very seriously.

"I… love…you…" each would was punctuated by a long slow kiss that takes her breath away. She's trying to catch her breath when he shoves his jeans down and pushes into her firmly with no warning. She gave a short little squeak. "If anyone is out of their league?" He mumbled into her hair as he gave her a second to adjust. "It's me."

"Move… I'm not above begging." She said against his lips seconds before he kissed her soundly. The sex is different from the kind they'd had the morning of the accident. This is not slow and sweet it's frenzied and desperate.

It's fast and hard.

-/-/-

Afterward as they lay together and she saves Kelly from falling off the couch. "What's wrong?" she asked gently.

"I don't pity you." He said softly.

"I never thought you did. Not for a single second." She replied kissing the top of his head. "I think that when you shoved her out of the way she thought it was more than it was. Maybe the fear of missing out motivated her, I mean I do get it. You're handsome, brave, funny in the single most perverted way I can ever recall, you attract people like light attracts a moth. I don't blame her for trying but I will not endeavor to be her friend again."

"I don't expect you to…" He leaned up to kiss her. "I'm not even sure I want anything to do with her. At least not until she apologizes sincerely."

"Okay."

"Your slutty dress? I really liked it." He said grinning down at her and something about the look in his eye and the joy he gives off makes her burst out laughing.

-/-/-/-

When Liv enters the bar where they're having Mills' farewell party she finds Kelly brooding at the bar. Otis scoots the bar stool out of her way wordlessly so she can slide up next to Kelly. She makes the chair move into standing mode but Kelly doesn't look her way until she leans her elbows on the bar.

"Heya handsome, I know what you're thinking?" She offered up.

"You do?" He glances at her reading her shirt. "My coffee matches my heart black and icy." It read she smiled as swigged his beer the only thing black on the girl was her nail polish and even that was rare.

"Yep, the fact that Pete chose to follow another path doesn't mean you failed as his superior. It means you taught him well enough to know the fire fight isn't what speaks to his heart. He chose a different way and that's fine. What is it you always say?"

He groaned knowing exactly where she was headed. "When you know something is right you gotta jump in with both feet."

She nods. "Then do the same for him, tell him to jump in and wish him well. Then hug him and say goodbye." He kissed her and then got up.

"You're good at that you know?" Herrmann commented.

"At what?" She asked gifting him with a smile.

"Speaking to his heart. You understand him. Whatcha want Darlin?"

"An IBC, I'm the DD." She drummed her hands.

When Mills' gives his farewell toast Liv tears up. Kelly just hands a cocktail napkin and leans down to kiss her temple. "My tender hearted girl."

"You're fightin' it don't lie."

He just smiles at her. "Think we can slip out quietly."

"Race you the truck. Winner decides night time activities." And she's off weaving through people and out the door. He's hot on her heels knowing she'll make him watch Big Hero 6 again and he'd really rather have shower sex.

AN: I own nothing the April thing took a turn. I have no idea where the muse is headed on that front. The dress Liv is wearing for their dinner date is Erin's dress from the PD sex club eppy. If you enjoyed drop a line and tell me so thanks so much for reading and supporting it this far!-MM


	32. Chapter 32

Liv steps into the mostly silent Firehouse and waves to Connie who is sitting at her desk. "Hey sweetheart quick morning debrief and PIC introduction and Kelly will be right out."

"I'll just wait in the common area. "She replies as she sits and waits running Kelly's St. Florian Medal through her fingers.

He had taken the necklace off so she could clean it. It had come up missing days ago. Having just found it she brought it to him. The superstitious fire wife in her was taking over. She flinches at the sound of some getting reamed by Chief.

The new Paramedic rounds the corner. "Jess Chillton!" She squeals at the sight of the bubbly brunette.

"Doc Grayne! I heard you transferred hospitals! 114 used Lakeside!" The other woman hugged Liv quickly.

"Transferred is the polite word yes. You will really love it here Chilly. 51 is a great house and I'm not just saying that because it is my husband's house."

"You're chief's wife?"

"Nope. "

"What's up baby?" Kelly said from behind Chilly.

Liv held his necklace up. "I found your necklace in the shiny addict's car seat. I asked her why she had it and I quote "Daddy no has mine shiny." Liv smiled at him. "As I pried it out of the care seat side I thought she was going to Gollum out on me. And chant my precious all the way to daycare." Liv joked.

He gave a half shrug. "She coulda kept it. I've been meaning to give it to her anyway."

"When she's older and understands the value besides its pretty shininess then yes she can have it but for now you'll keep it and let your patron saint do his job okay. I know it's hokey and stupidly superstitious but I need you to wear it."

"Okay. You alright baby?" he asked putting it on.

"Fine, we have an appointment with Holmby tomorrow to make sure Klaire's infection hasn't traveled from her ear to her heart valves."

"I remember." The fire tone goes off announces a house fire. He kissed her quickly. "See you at home Livvy." And he was off.

"I love you Kell, be careful."

"Always baby. Love you back." He grins at her over shoulder/

-/-/-

When Kelly comes home he finds Vivi dancing with Klaire to a cover of "I wanna dance with somebody." He smiles watching Klaire kick up one of her feet in some spastic semblance of a dance move. "Where's Liv?" He asks Vivi.

"Daddy! Daddy! Hello. Klaire chatters giving him a toothy grin.

He laughs to himself. "Hello is a new one, Hello my jewelry thief."

Vivi turns down the music. "Oh she's up stairs blowing up balloons for Erin's birthday party. She's in the bedroom."

He picks Klaire up and covers her face in kisses before putting her back down. "Be back baby, gotta say hi to Mama and kiss the brother."

He finds Liv listening to Matchbox Twenty on her phone as she uses a giant canister of helium to blow up the balloons. Aaron sits in the center of the bed in his bouncy seat. "Babe, that thing is bigger than you are even in standing position." He comments.

She turns at the sound of his voice and tears mist her eyes and for a second he can see her shoving back the emotions. "Liv what is it?"

She shakes her head forcing the tears back. "A mayday? Your second shift back? Really?""

"I'm fine, fell half way through a floor. The guys got me and the victim."

"I know I just…Never mind."

"I can't let it go when you look like you're going to cry Liv." He said as she watches him intently as he moves to grab up Aaron for his off shift ritual of immediately kissing the kids.

"I'm not crying I'm fine, I got scared for a second that's all." She replied primly.

He kissed Aaron on the top of his head. "I've seen you get scared and keep moving. You cleaned up Shay's body before your sister saw her so I know what you pushing through looks like and what it looks like when something is on your mind. Out with it." He orders bouncing Aaron.

She affixes a balloon and hits it with a shot of helium. "Do you know what makes me a good doctor? I can look at the trauma from every angle and I can find a solution. I can find the answer because they're drilled into me like the alphabet or my connection with the kids. It's second nature like breathing…."

"Okay…" He said in confusion.

"I'm getting there I promise. When anything happens to you I freeze. I can't think, I don't breathe. I know the fire can take you from me and I've made peace with it. What I don't have the answer to is what you want done… What should I do if you don't die but aren't alive by any real measure."

"Baby…" He says it softly. He hurts for her because of course her mind goes there.

"No don't look at me like that or I really will cry."

"Not all fire fighters die in the line of duty." He points out.

"No but a lot do and you almost did and… I love you." She counters looking at him for a beat before continuing. "I don't think you fully understand how much. All of the things I know as a doctor are going to go out the window and I will keep you alive hoping for a miracle. I love you and I want do the right thing for you. I need the organization and the rules I need an answer… because I'm not sure I'll ever be okay without you but I know I'll need a starting point. So….just please tell me what to do. I won't want too but I'll do what you want." She finishes heaving out a breath/

He puts the baby down and crosses to her. He kisses her. Her face held gently in his hands. "I'll let you die first… and we'll totally be old and senile so you won't be mad when I hit on nurses in the home." He said moving to press a kiss into her forehead.

"Kelly…" She tries to sound stern but laughs despite herself.

"I'll write out a living will and leave it where you can find it that way you don't have to deal with until it's an absolute okay?" He said seriously/

"Okay. And Kelly, unplug me and donate anything useable. No graves either I don't want our babies to visit empty boxes and stones." She said evenly.

"Alright." He kissed her again. "So how'd you hear about it?"

"Hospitals are like high school with scrubs. One of the nurses overheard Brett and Chilly. The nurse told me."

"Can I steal a balloon and take it to Klairey?"

"You're the one who gets to catch it for her when she lets it go."

He has to stand on the bed to get one down from where they have floated up to the vaulted section of their ceiling. "How do you plan to get these down?"

"That's why God made Owen six feet four." She said with a sly smirk.

"And to get them to the surprise party?"

"You mean the one she'll hate because she hates being the center of attention? Well that's why Chevy made my truck bed cover thingy."

"What are we getting her?"

Liv retorted dryly. "I'm getting her flowers and something off her amazon wish list. As for what you're getting her I have no clue."

"We're married it's called communal gift giving." He returned.

"It's called being lazy and putting shit off on your wife but you can sign the card if you really want too." She bargained.

She held out her sound wave pendant. "You are not a shitty gift giver. This is one of my favorite things ever. Like go back into a burning building for it level of like it." She grinned proudly.

"Please don't ever do that. I'll replace it." He said. "Besides, it took me a month and help from Erin to figure it out." He confessed.

"Were you honor bound by your fire man code thingy to inform of that?" She pouted.

"Things are replaceable you are not. Given your history with flames, near fires, building collapses, and being shot at the only thing you should ever go back for is our children." He countered grabbing a balloon and jumping down.

Aaron laughed at the balloons over his head. "Did you hear that? Livvy he laughed."

"He likes the colors don't you big man." Liv said looking down at him tenderly.

"I thought babies were color blind."

"Only the first few weeks until the retinal cones can translate what it sees to the brain."

He scowled at her. "But why would colors be funny?"

"Kelly, I'm a doctor not telepathic. He's three months old; he thinks fountains made of his own pee are funny. I have no clue why purple balloons are hilarious."

"Pee fountains are kind of awesome. Wait until he figures out how to write his name in the snow!" He scoops Aaron up on his way out.

"You will not teach him to write his name with urine that is disgusting! We are not teaching him that!" Liv calls chasing after him until he took the stairs. "Taking the stairs to avoid me is cheating! It's cheating Kelly!"

"Love you baby."

"Whatever."

=/-

"Brett…Chilly could you come into my quarters a moment? "Kelly asked ask he walked past them in the common area.

When they step in and close the door he takes a moment to gather his thoughts and choose his words carefully. "My wife literally just had a baby and I almost died on her a few weeks ago so…I have a rule, not unless I am dead or dying is my wife to know by any means at all that I might have faced real danger as I did last shift."

Brett and Chilly just look at each other. "Dude, no disrespect but your wife is my friend has been since I was a rookie dodging skitzed out junkie's punches in Lakeside ER. So, if you happen to almost die on the job and I am concerned for your health or general safety you should expect that I can and will tell her as I see fit. I didn't this time but I will if it is warranted." Chilly said.

"You don't understand I have the rule for a reason."

"Oh I'm willing to bet it's a dumb one." Brett jabbed teasingly.

Kelly sighed in irritation. "She is a devoted, organized, intelligent, and incredibly talented doctor. She's also a very neurotic fire wife with a hair trigger because of all the shit that's gone down. It's because of said shit I avoid scaring her. If I told her every little thing she'd never let me leave the house and I'd be forced into the kind of conversation I had last night. "Hey baby, what should I do if you're one day a vegetable? So no, Brett it's not a dumb reason. I'm trying to spare her." He snapped at her.

"Fine we will leave all you related conversation outside the hospital. I stand by my statement though and if after all you've been through you still manage to see neurosis instead of strength may be the issue has to do with you." Chilly said gently.

-/-

Liv has a shit ton of things to do before Klaire's appointment, Preparing for Erin's party and figuring out how to get the balloons off her ceiling her kitchen needs moping and she needs a haircut all before next shift.

Despite the packed schedule Kelly wants to have breakfast. Have some time where it is just the two of them and she agrees more or less… because pancakes taste good and Kelly's a hot date.

When Gabi strides up to the passenger side of her truck to talk to Kelly she suppresses a sigh. "Can I borrow your eyes for a minute? To check over that house fire…I believe the guy and I just…"

Kelly looks to Liv. "Where to Miss Daisy?" She grumbles setting the truck in gear.

He laughs. "Thank you baby, Taft and court."

"Yeah you're moping the floors."

=/=

Liv stays in the truck cuddled into Kelly's jacket wearing her shades to hide her tired eyes as she munches on left over candied pecans from the last mall trip with Rainey.

-/-/-

Gabi laughs as she passes by Liv's truck to join Kelly on the sidewalk. "What?" He asked.

"Your wife looks like something out of a kid friendly biker bar." He looks at her wearing his leather jacket and blue lensed aviators with Sophia the first scrubs finishing off her look. Her hair is down and messy as she tilts her head back to stuff her face.

"Be nice my baby is tired and apparently hungry. Those things are a day and half old at least."

"Your baby…" Gabi laughed. "Let's get this done so you can get your baby the pancakes she was promised before I hijacked your date."

-/-/-

When they're finished and they've talked to witness to the arson he opens the truck door. Liv is asleep arms crossed over her chest. Head hung down making her into a red headed cousin IT. God does he love her.

"Baby…" She jerks awake comically. "We need to drop by 21."

She whined. "Pancakes Kelly, you promised."

"You have a little drool…" he wiped her chin and she swatted his hand away.

"You are mean! A pancake Indian giving meanie." She pouted.

-/-/-

"Here you're making the husband killing face. You are not made for prison." Erin hands Liv her coffee cup.

"He promised food and alluded to sex and I found child care for wild morning sex but… bringing the doofus who doesn't know the word for scrubs is going to save lives right?" She gestures over at the guy.

"Let's hope… he does look a bit like he dropped too much acid in high school and now his eggs are fried." Erin responds as Liv uses her boobs as pillow as she stands behind her.

Liv yawns and gulps down too hot coffee. "Hey Dude? Did the guy have creds?" she holds hers up from the lanyard hanging around her neck.

"Why?" Ruzek asked.

"About the only thing you can do in the hospital without them is eating in the food court. If he's posing he'll be harder to find if he's the real deal he's in the system of whichever hospital he works at."

"Can you forge them?" Halstead asked.

"It'd be a bitch to do. They are finger print coded and serially numbered via encryption to prevent things like drug theft and kidnapping. Changing my name was a pain in the ass."

"How much of a pain the ass Kitten?" Voight asked.

"To change my name I had to go through HR and the security firm the hospital uses. I had to bring proof of who I was, proof I was married to the guy I said I was. They finger print everyone. Klaire and Aaron are on record. Anytime we have turn over the system erases your credibility within twenty four hours. Since the explosion it's kinda like Fort Knox. Like I said it's a bitch to fake when you can lurk in the caf." She shrugged.

"So smart money is him slipping in as though he belongs there." Erin mused.

"It's scary good strategy. Doctors, nurses, see scrubs and we think hey you're one of us a healer you must be trust worthy." Liv adds.

"Not at all horribly terrifying Livvy." Kelly mutters.

"So we check all surrounding medical supply stores and clothing stores for anyone matching the criteria for purchases." Voight says.

"Check online vendors too Hank." Liv says.

"Fuck me." He whispered.

"You're welcome." Liv smirked. "Happy scumbag hunting coppers." She finished. She turned to face Erin she kisses her cheek. "See you later almost birthday girl."

She hands Erin back her coffee cup. "We done here?" She looks to Kelly who nods. "Breakfast?"

"Yes, my princess." He retorts and she looks at him in confusion.

"Scrub top." He points out holding out his hand. "Breakfast club & grill?"

"All the way to the west side for breakfast someone's trying to get laid." Erin joked.

"He doesn't really have to try." Liv quipped. Erin choked on her coffee trying to stifle her laugh.

-/-

She's cuddled up next to him in the booth eating bananas foster French toast and she can feel him scowling "Alright out with it. You're thinking extremely loud and your omelet is going to get cold."

"Huh?"

"Your hamster wheel squeaks baby." She quipped.

"Livvy!" he tries to sound offended but ends up dissolving in laughter. "That was a good one, thanks I needed a laugh."

"Why're you making the scary brooding TV heart throb face?"

"Do what?"

"You brood like those vampires on the weird show Rainey likes. I may have watched her Hulu queue on maternity leave…. Don't judge! Will you make this face the first time Klairey dates? The kid will shit himself. Anyway what ya thinkin' baby?" She pushed.

"Otis thinks Rice ducked on me." He said lowly.

"I don't speak your lingo."

"When the fire gets hairy and you find an excuse to bail."

"And when was this?"

"My may day you got so freaked on."

"Kelly!" She chastises him before she can stop herself.

"He didn't do it baby! He wouldn't, we're friends and I have kids! There is a code and he wouldn't I know that."

"Ok then, if he wouldn't tell Otis to drop his shit and forget it."

"You're right."

"I love those words almost as much as the gravelly way you say my name right before you…" She popped her lips hands making a boom gesture. She cuddled into him again.

"Liv!"

"Selfie?" He leaned in kissing the crown of her head as she snapped the picture. She captions it and posts it his phone dings with the notification he's been tagged.

They look tired and slightly bedraggled but happy. Liv grins into the camera face make up free and shades pushed onto her head.

The caption reads. "Breakfast with my one and only." #mondayisourfunday.

When Liv goes to the bathroom he scrawls through her Instagram. There are a lot of him and the kids he hadn't even known she'd taken.

Him bent down to Klaire's level giving her a kiss. It's captioned "The only other woman he's allowed to kiss."

One of him scratching Klaire's head after she'd walked up to him said. "Itch!" the caption makes him laugh. "Love means scratching your baby's head without checking for daycare lice." #dryscalpnotliceIchecked

One of him giving Aaron a bath, one where's helping Klaire brush her teeth.

There's a black and white one of three of them sleeping on a big pallet in the floor. Aaron is lying on his chest and Klaire is curled up facing him using his out stretched arm as a pillow.

That nap with them had been the best sleep he'd had in about a month.

Liv's caption catches him off guard.

"Sometimes I joke with Erin that getting to look at you is proof God loves me. It's the truth though. You are proof God loves me. And I don't mean how handsome you are though that's nice. I mean it the way that in this moment my heart has never been fuller. This moment I just so happened to roll up too was the clearest answer to every prayer I have ever sent up in hopes of happiness. It is my entire world all in a single frame. I couldn't ask more. Thank you for putting up with me when I'm moody or mean. Thank you for being patient in my struggle, for loving me as I am not for what the world thinks I should be. Thank you for proving God listens and he loves me."

He really doesn't like Instagram but this one deserves a reply. "I am the lucky one God gave me you. In you and because of you I have everything I need. You almost made me cry in public. So… I kinda fucking hate you right now! Haha! Joking…Cole if you see this hate thing is a joke.

Seconds after he hits send she replies "Ha! You're afraid of my pacifist Dad. That is awesome."

He switches to text messages on his phone. "Did you just text from the toilet?"

"Maybe…"

-/-/-

Kelly watches as Klaire climbs as lithely up onto the padded and clothe covered cubes dotting the Pediatric Cardio waiting room as her short chunky little limbs will allow.

"It climbs…" He whispers.

Liv agrees. "It does… you may soon have to be my arms and my legs."

"Why?"

"It jumps…she's a jumper."

They get called back and she literally jumps into Liv's arms and Liv gives"Oomph." That makes Kelly smile.

"Nice catch." He comments.

"I do try."

-/-/-/-

After all of the testing they sit in Hamby's office. Klaire is sitting in Kelly's lap turned around playing with the zippers on his jacket. She may or may not be looking for gum but he isn't going to say that aloud.

"I thought heard more swishing when I listened yesterday. The valve is malfunctioning faster than anticipated isn't it? I should have caught this sooner." Liv says all rambly and nervous.

"Look there is nothing you did or didn't do to worsen this. She was born this way Liv every patient is different. Yes, hers seems to be getting worse but all we can do is up her meds and pray until she weighs enough to fix it or it becomes clearly emergent."

"Clearly emergent means what?" He asked as Klaire kissed his cheek. "Thank you Baby." He said softly acknowledging her.

"It means that her life is on the line and we have no options left but to operate and construct the valve in its correct place." Liv explains.

"And how close is that?"

"It all depends on your daughter. We can get her to maybe 2 before it flares up if the meds hold but if the WPW recurs…. It just depends Kelly."

"That's comforting," He growled.

"I wished I had easier answers."

"I'm sure…We'll be in the car Livvy."

-/-/-/-

Liv watches Kelly stare out the window as she drives. "Kelly?"

He clears his throat and sighs. "What?"

"We've got this. She will be fine. She will because I refuse to think differently. Healthy and happy is the only choice we're giving her and that's that."

"I know…"

"Trust me that I know what I'm doing okay?"

"Okay." He reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers.

"And Kelly?"

"I know, give you your hand back you need it for the brakes." He kissed the back of her hand before releasing it.

"I was going to say stop giving Klaire gum before she eats too much and can't poop. Or she god forbid puts it in her hair." She gives him a knowing half smile.

-/-/-

"Car accident… paralysis apparent on scene." The medic gives Liv the run down.

"Get me x-rays and call Jodi in ortho for a consult please." She orders without looking up she stands in her chair .She looks down on her patient. "Hi sweetheart I'm Livvy. Can you tell me your name?"

"Elise…I can't feel my legs."

"Okay, I will try to fix it okay." She said sitting back down and rolling to the other end of the bed. She checks for reflex using her pinwheel and gets nothing. She curses in her head.

"Get me the makings for a halo and the decompression weights please." She orders whoever is closest.

"I'm scared." Elise confesses and as Liv rolls back up to her head as they roll her for x-rays Liv has a flash of a pretty grey haired nurse looming over her using comforting tones as she had cried for her mother….or her Daddy… just somebody.

"Liv…" Jodi calls her name and she snaps out of it. "What we got?"

"Possible SCI…I'm waiting on X-ray to see if it's compressed or a severed." She turns back to her patient. "Fear is normal its human…but it will be okay and I'll stay for as long as you need me Elise."

"I want my mom. I was driving… I shouldn't have been how's my friend Poppy."

"How old are you Elise?"

"Fourteen ma'am."

"Alright… I'll see what I can do."

Jodi calls her over to the light box. Liv knows exactly what she's looking at if only because her films had looked the exact same. "Well shit…" Liv murmured.

"I know you alright?"

"Yeah… just… these are never easy for me. I'll see if I can get a bead on the parents if you wanna go to OR."

-/-/-/-

Liv locates the parents and waits with them through parts of the surgery then tells them the news backed up by Jodi that their daughter will never walk again.

When they leave the parents for a moment to themselves Jodi speaks up. "Go see your husband. I'll cover you."

"I'm-"

"It shows on your face Liv." She gives her a halfhearted smile. "Go see Kelly or Erin okay."

-/-/-

Kelly sees Liv weaving through the guys' basketball game and coming toward him at the false wall they're doing drills on. As she gets close he can see she has been crying.

"Klaire's fine." She says quickly.

"Then what?"

"Bad…just a bad day is all." She said. "I can see you're busy. I'll go… I need to leave those balloons with Nadia anyway." Her breath hitches as she tries not to cry in front of everyone." She says as a rogue basketball hits the wheel of her chair.

"Really guys. She's sitting right here in plain view and you know we're doing drills." Kelly complains.

"Kelly it was an accident."

"Dude… she's crying. We'll just break for a bit." Rice says.

"Look at that… Rice finding excuses to slack again. Did he plan that with you Liv?" Otis asked.

"No, Otis I didn't plan on having the single most traumatic moment in my life triggered just so Rice could bail. Are you being asshole for the fun of it or because you haven't gotten any since Katie left." Liv fires back.

He blinks at her. "Oh I'm sorry did that sting? At least I shit talk to your face."

Otis opens his mouth to retort. "Don't!" Kelly commands steel in his voice. He waits for Liv to stand and then wraps her into a hug. "What happened?"

"I had a spinal cord injury patient." She replies haltingly into the quilted fabric of his jacket.

"Okay…"

"Her injury is nearly identical to mine… and she was so scared…." She stops fighting back another wave of tears.

"Slow deep breaths baby." He soothes rubbing a hand down her back.

"And I remember that feeling." She squeezes him tighter. "So, I stayed calm… and kept her calm. It was severed not contused. So Jodi realigned the spine and cleaned up the crush injuries but when we told the parents she'd never walk again…" Kelly can feel her tears seeping onto his jacket. "They looked at me like I was this horrible apparition of her future …I just can't get the sound of her mother screaming out of my head Kelly. Then there's me like some twisted welcome wagon."

"I'm sure they're just in shock…"

"I still feel like a crap doctor…"

"You aren't honey. If you could rebuild people's spines you'd do it but you can't."

"I just needed to see you… because sucky day."

He pushed back slightly and wiped her tears away. "I'm sorry your day has sucked." He kissed her. "How can I make it better?"

"What you're doing works." She said returning the hug

He kissed her temple. "I'm not doing anything."

"Well we don't have time for you to put your back into it so to speak." He laughs a deep chuckle in her ear that warms her insides.

"You know me too well." He drops a kiss on neck where her scrub top meets skin.

Her phone rings and she shoves the chair back to sit down in case she has to move. "Doctor Severide…um…I'm with Kelly why? Uh, I guess back to the hospital. Erin, I'm not ditching my shift because some fire happy perv has a hard on for female nurses. If I don't fit M.O. I don't need it…fine send Roman and Burgess if you gotta. I'm heading back now."

"What?" Kelly asked as she hung up.

"We were right. There's a guy faking his way into hospitals to find his victims. He likes brunette nurses and has left a slew of unsolved rapes and murders from New York City and Louisiana to here. Apparently he likes short brunettes. If they don't end up missing they die in fires. Erin wants me guarded."

"I second that as you're tiny, female, and disabled." He said fighting the urge to squirm knowing she'd fight him.

"I can defend myself. I have my gun in the truck." She reminds him.

"Ok so I'm not going to tell you otherwise because I don't want to get my ass handed to me in front of my guys but can I just say it puts my mind at ease knowing you're guarded."

She gives in. "Fine but only brcause Hank ordered it. And I can totally handle myself."

"I'm sure you're a crack shot Calamity Jane."

"Let's hope you never have to find out Hubs McFireballs."

"McFireballs?" Rice asked laughingly as Kelly watched her go.

"Lock yourself in until you see Roman or Burgess Okay?"

"Can't gotta give the balloons to Nadia. I'll catch them there. Love you! Be careful!"

"Same to you." He turned to find Rice staring at him. "What?"

"McFireballs?"

"My sister-in-law nicknamed me Douchey McFireballs. It stuck."

"Married you? Is really surprising."

"Married me is happy."

Liv turned back. "Oh Scott! Can I have Logan for Benihana's date with Kelly Saturday?"

"If you're you can handle him its fine."

I handle him." She points to Kelly. "I'm one of twelve and I'm a doctor to all things tiny teenaged and human I got this."

"We should bring Hads so it's a double date." Kelly said.

"She'll think her date is Keely not Logan." She says with a grin. "I'm leaving for real this time! Bye!"

"Bye!"

"Who's Hads?" Rice asked.

"Hadley is my five year old and very favorite sister in law. Don't tell the others I said that though."

-/-/-

Liv is dressed and has her make up on as she's finishing her hair she calls Erin. "Did I leave my sock bun at your place? I think I left it on your sink last girl's night. I have to run by Molly's for Jess Chilton's business promo thing then I'll be by for the party you're not supposed to know about… round out with drinks just you and me? Erin speak girlfriend."

"Have you seen Nadia?" Erin asked slowly.

"No why?"

"I gotta go, I love you. Do me a favor do not leave Kelly's side tonight okay?" She orders sternly sounding so much like Voight it's scary.

"Erin…"

"I need to know you'll stay safe. Party is off we can't find Nadia."

"Keep me posted and be careful." Liv said and the dial tone bleats in her ear.

She decides to go with the easiest style big curls like Kelly likes. She's curling the front section of her hair when she hears Kelly yelling from below. "Goddamn Klaire I said stop it! Stop it now!" Kelly never yells most of his parenting style is saying her name sternly and giving her reprimanding looks.

Liv rolls to the landing. "Babe what the hell?" she asked as Klaire wails at her feet.

"Don't pick her up." Kelly demands.

"Excuse me? You just cursed at our sixteen month I'll pick her up if I want."

"I've pulled her down off the entertainment center four times. She's in trouble."

"She doesn't understand the concept of punishment Kelly's a baby still." Liv picked her up soothing her.

"I know, I just I lost my temper…"

"I noticed."

"She's going to hurt herself."

"Might be the only way she learns but this isn't about Klaire's sudden desire to climb on everything in the house. Something else is on your mind and we're going to talk about it as soon as we get back."

-/-

Liv sits next to the bar by Kelly whose up on a stool nursing a beer and holding her hand. When Chilly asks them to move closer she tosses back her rum and coke rolls forward Kelly walking behind her their hands still joined just slightly above her head.

She pulls up beside one of the high tables and Capp who is beside her sits his jacket down on the table where Otis is sitting. "This is truck's table find your own." He says and the hair on the back of Liv's neck rise as Kelly's hand tenses in hers. He very calmly let her go and angled her away from him.

"Really Otis? It's like that?" Capp said

"Yeah, it's like that as long as Severide chooses to ignore Rice being a ducker."

"I told you shut your mouth!" Kelly snarls.

"He's a ducker plain and simple."

"Fine I'll shut it for you." He takes a swing and the guys catch him before it can connect and drag him back.

"Go on punch me it won't change the truth." Otis needles him further and Kelly bows up again Liv literally rolls herself between Kelly and the table where Otis sits. She may or may not roll over Kelly's toes. She plants her hand in the center of his chest and shoves him hard enough to knock him back into the men who'd held him back. He is suddenly reminded of her strength and wonders just how many brawls she's stopped her brothers from having. "Stop it right now! I will not say it again Kelly. You done?" Her voice is cold as stone and if he weren't in public he might be more afraid than he'd let on.

"Yeah I'm done. There are other places in town to get a drink."

"Yeah there are." Gabi said.

"Really Gab?" Liv said rolling her eyes. "We're going home Kelly. " She looked to Chilly. "Sorry about your investor's thing Chill."

-/-/-

The ride home is silent and after he helps her unload he walks in without her. When she rolls in behind him her sister remarks from the second floor. "That was fast?"

"Don't ask." Liv mumbled morosely.

"Okay, the A Man is in his crib Klaire is in your bed watching "Kifford."

"God! Kifford, whoever created that ugly ass red dog is going to receive hate mail from me one day." She replied heading for the elevator.

"What happened?"

"I'm not really sure Rain…You can take the guest room if you don't wanna drive out to the boonies to get home. "She opened the elevator and rolled in.

"Alright if you need me..."

"I got it Rainey. Love you though." She pressed the up button and the door closed.

-/-

She's stripping out of her long sleeved silver sequined dress. It had a deep Vee neckline and was rather short. She'd thought Kelly would like it. She tosses her hair up and ditches her bra.

She sees Klaire fighting her sleep as she turns to slip one of Kelly's shirt's over her head. She puts it on as she lifts herself up with one hand and pulls off her underwear with the other She feels eyes on her she doesn't have to look up to know it's Kelly's eyes.

"What?" she asked turning to face him. He's towel clad and fresh from the shower and her stomach does a flip flop thing that only happens when she's in Kelly's orbit.

"You looked pretty tonight. I forgot to tell you."

"Thank you."

"Are you mad at me? Because it feels like you are." He asked.

Klaire interrupted. "Daddy! Kiss!"

"Hey Klairey Girl!" He dropped a kiss on her little puckered lips. "Daddy is sorry he lost his cool with you but you gotta go back to your bed."

"I'm not mad. I'm confused." Liv answers.

"Kifford." Klaire points.

"End of this one then back to your room." Liv says and watches as Kelly disappears back into the bathroom to dress.

When Kelly returns to the bedroom he knows Klaire won't be back in her bed. She's curled up beside Liv. Holding the same hand he'd held earlier.

"She doesn't cuddle me anymore… can we just let her sleep here for tonight?"

"She can stay… because I like her and at some point she'll roll over and cuddle me." Kelly returned reaching over to brush Klaire's hair back before settling himself on his side of the bed.

Liv lay on her side looking up at him as he sat up against the headboard. Wanna tell me why you almost decked Otis? Your sisters ex Otis. the one who is the human equivalent of like I don't know a fucking golden retriever? You basically kicked a puppy for being what it is?"

"Rice wouldn't do that and he just keeps it up!"Kelly says in a semi certain tone.

"Okay so he's gone about things the wrong way but…can I tell you what I think? Just as your wife? No jumping down my throat, promise me."

"Tell me." He said calmly.

"I think he did it." Kelly opened his mouth to speak. "Let me finish I think Logan is all he's got and he's all Logan's got and he got scared and he bailed. I think that's what you think too but you don't want to think it."

"I have a family too Liv! I have Klaire and Aaron and you. I'm happy and if he did this he tried to take that from me." He said calmly but rage swelled in his eyes. "Why would he do that?"

"What would you do for Klaire and Aaron? There's nothing you wouldn't do." Liv countered.

"I'd find a different damn job Liv! I wouldn't run from…shit I don't know."

"I know." She said quietly.

"I doubt one of my guys. That's never happened before. What should I do?"

"Call Benny and get his take but my take? Just be upfront and ask."

"And if I lose the friendship?"

"Then it wasn't a true friendship to begin with."

"Okay quit hogging her!"

Liv laughed a bubbly happy sound that settled his mind, "I love you, and you really got no clue Livvy."

-/-/-

They're making breakfast when the doorbell rings. He lets Liv get it and focuses on not burning the eggs as he's prone to do.

"Severide." He hears Matt say.

He looks over. "Hey man, have a seat. Stay for breakfast." He said He'd gesture to the stool but he's holding Aaron and scrambling eggs. Klaire has attached herself to his right pant leg and is sitting on his foot.

"Did you really take a swing at Otis last night?" Matt gets right to the point.

"I'd have taken more than one. You should thank little miss strong arm over there." He points behind Matt with a spatula at Liv.

"Kelly! You had no right!"

"Maybe but he had it coming I told him to lay off more than once so maybe you should get your guys in line and I'll do the same."

"Yeah, like you deciding squad doesn't vent before Darden went up in flames." There's a beat and he doesn't reply. Liv having returned to the kitchen does it for him.

"Get outta my house Matt." He orders with no inflection totally seriously.

"Liv I didn't-"

She spoke measuredly. "I don't give shit how you meant it or how it came out. You do not get to throw out Andy like some I got you ghost at my husband so you're going to get out of my house. Get out before I show you out."

After the door closed behind Matt. "Livvy you didn't have to do that."

"Yes, I did no gets to do that to you. No one." She goes back to her bacon frying.

"Hey?" She looks back at him. "Will you show me out? Sounded fun."

She laughs at that. "God you're seriously unbelievable. Besides you wouldn't like it, it involves guns and nut punches. Don't look at me like that I'm disabled and lived in the dorms in college. Owen taught me how to deter unwanted affections."

-/-/-

Kelly loves days like this lounging on the couch with Liv in sweats. She leans her head on his shoulder and Klaire curls in his lap nudging his hand with her head every time he stops "Itching" it. While Aaron sits on the ottoman in his bouncy seat being entranced by the ceiling fan.

"This show is trashy like worse than Laguna Beach trashy." He comments.

"But I like it."

"The princess looks like your sister and it's freaking me out."

"Really?"

He nods. "I'd totally bang the queen and the mean ass blonde chick."

"Why am I not surprised. You have slept with half of Chicago by your own admittance."

"I'd only do it once theoretically you're the only one I want do overs with."

She kissed his cheek. "Aw baby I think that was intended to be romantic thank you."

Her phone rings and he pauses the TV so she can answer. "Hey E! How's it going you find- Erin, slow down…What?! I can't understand you, Erin give Hank the phone! Jay then! I need to understand- Okay, Okay, I'm here breathe babe… just breathe… I'm on my way alright?"

When she hangs up Kelly is afraid to ask but has to. "What's going on?"

"They found Nadia. She's dead. Erin is a wreck I've got to get to her." Liv starts to get off the couch. She looks like she may cry.

He pulls her back into him. "Baby, I need you to listen to me okay? By the time you get everything situated here and grab a flight she'll be headed home and they are not going to let you anywhere near Erin while they're working the case."

"But she was sobbing really sobbing and I have to help her Kelly."

He keeps his hold on her. "Your default is to help and heal. I get that, but you can't do that right now. Right now you can call Hank and tell him to watch over her but she has got to catch that guy and if she is distracted because and this is no knock on Erin's protégé but you are a huge piece of Erin's life what if he got a hold of you too. She'd really be fucked and so would I. So, you wait for her here and do what you can when you can because she will need you."

"I just sit here?"

"Yes, with me and you finish this awful fucking show you made me start." He presses play. "Don't think."

AN: I own nothing but my characters! I hope you enjoyed! If you feel so inclined please leave a review. They do fire up my muse!-MM


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -/-
> 
> Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to my beautiful, incredibly courageous, best friend, Krysten Wilson. This may seem like an odd choice of chapter to dedicate to her but I'm choosing to believe the earthly boundaries that separate us are a pause button on our adventurous one of a kind friendship. It's far from the end.
> 
> Here's to seeing you in my dreams, here's to hearing you in the melodies of your favorite songs, here's to remembering the sound of your laugh when I see your daughter smile. Here's to finding tiny bits of your soul embedded in every character I create from this point on. I know that I will carry on and carry you with me.
> 
> Thank you for almost sixteen years of friendship I could never describe. I miss you, I love you. Here's to you, the crazy to my sane, my partner in crime, the literal Erin to my Liv… Rest ever peacefully my friend. Here's to you Kryssy.

Erin stomps into her apartment dead tired but still knowing the minute her head hits the pillow she'd be wide awake. Hank had stayed to handle the body… and she has to think of it in those terms because thinking of her as Nadia is too much to take.

It takes the second she turns on the lights to realize something is different. Liv has been here. The reason she knows that is not only is her place suddenly spotless but her best friend's perfume tends to linger long after she has left.

She turns in to the kitchen flicking on the lights. There on the island lay her birthday gifts.

She knows the flowers have been arranged by Liv herself since none of the flowers really should go together but that has never stopped Liv. There are daisies, lilies, peonies, sunflowers, and tulips all vying for space in the vase.

She steps forward and looks over her gifts. A digital frame Klaire has clearly finger painted on already loaded with pictures, a series of trashy books they had planned to read together and a gold necklace is looped on the frame.

She can't remember the name of the saint but she knows it's purpose. It's Patron Saint of the impossible. It never ever leaves Liv's possession. Suddenly Erin really wants to cry for more than Nadia.

She sees the envelope half hidden by the frame. She picks it up trying to decide if she even wants to be comforted maybe especially by Liv, her truest and oldest friend. It seems disloyal to Nadia. Though maybe having Liv's voice in her head can drive away the roaring of her guilt.

She opens the envelope and tucked inside is a single page letter.

Erin,

I won't wish you a happy birthday because it wasn't happy. I'll say instead I'm glad whatever awesome deity it was that deigned we should be friends gave me another year destined to be full of ups, downs, joys, anger, sorrows, and general weird shitness with you.

You are and will always be my first person. If there's anything losing Shay has taught me personally it's that I can't fix everything I can't make your world ok right now and it really sucks. Know that I am here. I will listen, I will lift you up when you think you can't move. I can't take away the pain but I'll promise to still be waiting on the other side as you walk through this hell.

It took me a long time to learn I can't really grieve with you. So because I can't do the fixing I want to do, your house is spotlessly clean. I couldn't be still and was driving my lovely husband insane. Also, I preemptively took every bit of alcohol and pill from your house aside from Advil and cooking sherry. Don't hate me. You told me to do it if I thought you might be in danger of slipping and so I did.

I hope you like everything. I love you!

-Liv Lou

Erin smiles a bit sadly. Sometimes she thinks if they were gay Liv just might be the love of her life…

She texts her quickly. "I'm glad the best friend Goddess gave me you too! Thank you for everything even being the junkie police and my house wife! I love you too!"

"Glad I could help. Are you okay? Holding up?"

She doesn't know how to respond to that so she doesn't say anything.

-/-

The phone rings and rings from the sink counter where Liv is putting on her make up for the work day. She hits the red end circle when Erin's voicemail picks up again. Kelly swipes it before she can redial.

"Let it go Boo." He advises.

"But-"

"You always say we're alike right?" She shrugs putting on her mascara. "Then let her come to you." She paused to look at him. "She will babe, just give her time." He says kindly.

"Right." She finishes her mascara and watches him brush his teeth. After catching her stare in the mirror he turns to her wiping his mouth on the wash cloth he'd used shaving.

"What?" she tilts her head up and he knows without prompting what she means. He kisses her. "Babe? What is it?"

"Nothing, I just love you." She reaches up spiking up his still damp hair.

He promptly flattens it again. "I love you too."

-/-/-

Liv gets to work and decides to check on Elise her SCI patient. She checks the files from her tablet. Psychology `had made notations of suicidal ideation. Liv stomach sinks.

"It says here you're having some dark thoughts." Liv says holding the girl's gaze despite being at the foot of the bed,

"You're a bright little crayon Doc." Comes the sarcastic snarl

Liv has to hold back a laugh. "You sound like my little sister."

"Which one word on the floor is you have like forty two of them? You a Mormon?"

Liv smiles in spite of herself. "Not at all, my parents believe in loving in multitudes. Wanna talk about it?"

"How do you not hate it?"

"Truthfully? It depends on the day. Loving myself is a constant work in progress. Including letting people love me, letting them help me… It's a struggle I won't lie to you but the more you see yourself as whole, less the world's opinion matters. There is no right or wrong way to start. You just do it." Liv said in unvarnished honesty few people got from her.

"And if my boyfriend and friends leave me?" The girl counters with an eyebrow raise.

"Some people will go, some will stay and some will come just when you need them."

"I still don't know how anyone is going to love someone who has to train their body to shit on command."

"If I prove it's possible will you go to therapy and try for me? I couldn't fix it for you and for that I'm sorry but I'll have your back for as long as you'll let me. Regardless of all that you gotta get in the chair and start somewhere."

"I don't think you have proof, your family doesn't count they're required to love you."

"Fair point…you'll see."

"See what?"

"Get in the chair and find out. You don't have the halo anymore and I'll find you some temporary electric wheels."

=/=/=

Liv sincerely hopes that she is doing the right thing by letting Elise shadow her all day. She stays in the background for the emergencies and talks to people as they go by. She strikes up an animated conversation with Jodi about some Shadow Hunter thingy Liv only understands through second hand retellings from Rainey. Holmby flirts with her just enough to garner a bashful blush and Liv has never been more grateful for Holmby's unapologetic charm.

They drop by the day care and Klaire enthusiastically climbs up into her lap. "Who's this?" Elise asks.

"This is Klaire my daughter." She replies watching as Klaire settles herself into Elise's lap. She loops her chubby arms around Elise's neck over the brace. "Be gentle Baby, Elise has Ouchies okay?"

"Ouchies…"

"Yup." Elise replies and Klaire nods sagely.

"You have a kid?"

"Two… more one day I don't think Kelly and I are done yet."

"They let you do that?"

Liv laughs she can't help it "I didn't ask anyone's permission Elise. The point I'm trying to make is yes, you will have a harder life now but it can still be full and happy."

Gabi walks in… "We brought in some gas leak victims… Kelly almost blew himself up but I think you have bigger issues. My brother is outside and he said some stuff went down and he needs to talk to you."

She passes Kelly on the way out. "Seriously what are you fucking Wiley Coyote?"

"Road Runner baby, I didn't go boom." She shoots him a dirty look. "Not the point I know…I saved lives!"

"And I'm glad… I'm not mad just… be careful! Please God. Just be freakin careful."

Always baby. You need anything while I'm here?"

"Coffee lots of it. Could you go check on Klairey? I left her with my paraplegic patient."

"You what?" He accused

"I'm trying to help her assimilate to life as it is now. She's a little girl she'll think you're cute, be nice to her."

"Baby! Seriously?" he says mystified.

"What? I'm paraplegic." Liv said utterly confused.

"Yes I noticed but she's a newbie and a scared one. "

"I was standing right there." She said pausing. "Metaphorically speaking." That gets an honest smile from him.

"Where are they?"

"Daycare."

"I got it." He said as she grabbed the suspender still looped over his shoulder.

She pulls him in for a quick kiss. "I love you." She said letting him go. "Hi Rice." She said rolling past him.

"I love you too." He calls out to her. "Hey Liv, Meep, Meep." He adds and her burst of laughter makes him smile

"Hey Antonio. How can help you?"

"Lindsay let someone hold a gun to her head today and practically begged them to shoot her. Voight's trying to act like it's no big deal…but."

"It's a fucking big deal!" Liv barely keeps from shouting.

"I know which is why I thought you could talk to her."

"And I will but she needs help Antonio. A pep talk and a hug ain't gonna do it. "  
She said. "God I hope Hank knows what he's doing. I'll call her."

-/-

Kelly finds her sitting alone in one of the bad news waiting rooms on the phone. "Black as death and hot as fire just like you like." He offers her the biggest cup he could find.

She nods and takes the proffered cup. "Erin, I'm trying to give you the space you need but when you let the crazies try to blow your brains out, I get really scared. Call me that is not a request either I'll send my mother and her social worker psycho babble super powers after you. Really, all jokes aside call me I love you and I'm worried."

"What's going on Livvy?"

"Honestly Kell? I just don't know anymore. I guess its Erin's turn to spiral and for me to catch her. I'm honestly not sure I can. She's taking a nose dive into oblivion and fast."

"She'll be okay baby." He pressed a kiss into her forehead.

"She's blaming herself and I don't know something feels off."

"We'll bring her food and get her to talk I'll go with you."

"Thank you baby."

"Not a problem…"

-/-/-

Liv drives to the house to pick up the frozen casserole she's frozen for Erin to reheat and then goes by the firehouse to follow Kelly to Erin's, when she walks up on Matt and Kelly fighting about Rice.

"This again? Seriously, they're running this shit into the ground." She said to Gabi.

"You wouldn't understand,"

"Of course not, I'm only Kelly's wife." Liv snaps before she can stop herself.

"That's not what I meant. I trust Otis over Rice any day."

"And I trust Kelly every day. Kelly asked him and he gave a flat no. Kelly's gotta back his guy. Do I think Rice lied? It's likely and if Kelly catches him at it he'll handle it. Treating Kelly like shit for trying to be fair is stupid of all of you and wrong."

"And I wonder how you're going to feel when he gets Kelly killed?" Gabi counters with a glare.

She doesn't reply because she likes Gabi and only scathing words are burning on her tongue. She whistles at Kelly in a cat call to draw his attention away from his blow out with Matt.

"Hey Baby." He says tiredly.

"Hey Honey, ready?"

"Umm hum," He strode up to her and kissed her then grabbed her hand to pull her along behind him to the cars. "Do you mind if we detour to the repair shop first?"

"Not at all."

-/-

She plays Trivia Crack with Mila while she waits outside the repair shop. When Kelly comes back out he stomps to the car getting in and slamming the door she backs out of her game and calls him.

"Kelly?"

"Let's just go to Erin's okay?"

"Lead the way my love."

-/-

Liv unlocks Erin's door using her keys when the other woman doesn't answer her knocking. "Baby, I don't think we should just go in."

"Why not? She's not answering and I have a key." Liv looks up at him expectantly.

"It just seems inappropriate."

"This coming from the man who thought a quickie in my parent's bathroom was a good idea?" She counters.

He chuckles. "Point taken but let the record show there is never a bad time for sex."

"Uh huh, put away the casserole for me Stud. I'm gonna see if E, is still home." She says rolling down the hall.

-/-/-

Seconds later Kelly hears. "Hey Erin, I brought you-AHHH! Who the fuck are you?"

He drops the casserole on the counter and runs into the room he saw Liv go into. He throws her behind him as a pudgy drugged up dude he can totally take bows up at him. "Who the fuck are you?"

"She asked you first."

"Whatever you fire happy homo." Kelly is utterly confused until he saw the Rainbow sticker Klaire had stuck to his jacket earlier in the day.

"Answer my wife." He spits back.

"I'm Landon, Erin's friend."

Liv gently pushed Kelly aside. She cocked her head at the man. "I know what you are; you're a one night stand she's wishing she could take back. A mistake, listen buddy, do your walk of shame and move on." Liv retorts calmly.

"Bunny set us up."

"Yeah, that doesn't exactly help your case there bud. It's like saying we met on cokeheads looking for love dot com. So please, just leave." Kelly added.

She watches Kelly see the other man out. "Cokeheads looking for love?" Liv cackled once the door closed. "That one was good."

"And On such short notice too." Kelly wheels her to the kitchen to put away the food.

"I'm going to pick up a bit." She turns to head for Erin's bedroom.

"My baby," Kelly started and she turned to him as he continued on. "You aren't her mother and at some point grief stops being an acceptable excuse… it's been a few weeks and clearly keeping your distance and helping from the sidelines aren't working."

"What are you saying?" Liv scowled at him and rolled on reaching her room.

"I'm saying maybe it's time for some tough love." He calls out.

"Can I give it some- never mind… come here."

"What?" he finds Liv next to the half made bed staring mutely at the night stand. There various bottles and lines of something or the spread out on top of it.

Liv looks through the bottles. "Oxycodone, Adderall, Vicodin, and I think the lines are cocaine. It's too fine to be crushed up pills and mixing the Oxy and the Adderall can kill her so let's hope she was smart enough not to party mix the shit."

"Well she is clearly not in her right mind and…"

"I know that Kelly! She snapped. "I'm sorry baby I just don't know what to do."

"We start by removing Aaron and Klaire from her life." He said firmly.

Liv's eyes fill with tears. "You're right I know that but…" Her voice cracked as she broke down. Kelly stepped over discarded clothes and dirty sheets to wrap her in hug. "But if they go, I'll likely go with them and I won't know when to save her. We always have each other's backs."

"You can't save someone from themselves especially if that can't see what's worth saving. Trust me Livvy, I'd know." He says into the crook of her neck before pressing a kiss to the skin there.

"Just how far do I let her fall? I almost lost you." She says turning her face to look at him.

He quietly answers. "My mistakes are on me. Erin's are on her. You can't talk her out of her guilt babe."

"I should tell Hank. She can't be high and hung over and be working it's not safe."

"Don't you think Hank knows?" he replies kicking at the dirty sheets intent on rolling Liv out of here.

"Yes, I do but I think he's in denial about how deep this has her hooked." She takes his hand.

"You trust him every day to keep her safe. Keep doing it." He gives what he hopes is a comforting squeeze.

"I trust Erin to keep herself safe just like I do with you."

-/-/-

Liv goes metaphorically running when she sees Bronwyn G. Grayne next on her patient list. She whips the curtain back "Grady!"

Erin sits perfectly still on the exam table. "You asshole! Do you know the things that just went through my head?" She reprimands Erin.

"I'm sorry I just needed your help ASAP!"

"Next time just page me yourself don't use bait it's cowardly. What do you need?"

"Can you sober me up before a piss test?"

"Depends." She gritted out fighting annoyance. "What's in your system Erin? Oxy? Coke, a little X? You always liked the X right?" Liv asks snippily steadily losing her cool.

"Don't be like this Livvy." Erin can read her body language easy the crossed arms and sour scowl means she's pissed

"Like what? Concerned? Worried? When you're asking me to help you dry out?" She shot back.

"Can you help me or not?"

Liv closed her eyes and counted to ten. She opened them, and then gave an answer. "I can banana bag you and hydrate you but short of pissing in the cup for you I can't fix this. Whatever is your system is going to stay for a bit. My pee is going to show traces of Prozac not prescribed to you. So, even if Kelly wouldn't kill me for it and I agreed to help you I can't your stuck E. Banana Bag? It'll make you feel less like hammered dog shit."

"I don't remember shit Liv, not a damn thing. I have no clue what I took last night." She scrubbed her hands down her face.

"I sure as hell hope you don't remember Landon." Liv said teasingly. She reached into her pockets. "Do your veins still roll?" she reached for her tourniquet and her fingers brushed paper. She pulls out a piece of notebook paper folded into the shape of a penguin that stood up in her palm.

"Cute." Erin says with a ghost of a smile.

Liv sat the note aside and got out an IV kit. "Don't look while I do this." Liv instructed as she tied the tourniquet on and found a vein and inserted the needle. "That was decidedly easy. I miss working with non-wiggly people sometimes." She fixed the IV and undid the tourniquet.

"So, Kelly and I made a choice as long as you're using you get no access to the kids. None, I'll always be here but we're not exposing them to your self-destruction." She set the IV drip rate.

"Oh but exposing them to Kelly's was just fine!" Erin snarls pettily.

"That was different." Liv returns in short order. "He cheated on me and shut me out. I'll give you that but he's not an addict."

"Liam's an addict too, you gonna shut him out too if he slips?" Erin hedged pulling at straws.

"He was thirteen Erin, not thirty. He's not hell bent on killing himself like you are, but if he was I'd walk away from him if it meant keeping my kids safe and emotionally healthy."

"Oh and you're the perfect example of mental health?"

"I'm not dignifying your cattiness with a reply, not this time and when you've finally got your head out of your ass and feel bad for using my biggest fear against me? I want you to remember I really am your friend. Because I want to bail you out Erin, so badly but I can't and you know that. You know I hate doing this and you being bitch should make it easier for me but it doesn't, so know that I forgive you but that vindictive addictive voice inside you can go fuck itself for all I care." She snatches Kelly's note off the table and rolls out.

-/-

In the on call room she reads Kelly's note.

Babe,

I love you for so many reasons. For example you have the best booty ever. So when I say I love yo ass I mean it both figuratively and literally. Ok so I did the fishbowl of niceness thing and my task was to tell you five things I love and admire about you so here goes (Seriously)

I am constantly in awe of your ability to jump in with both feet, to find the answer you seek, or just trust the universe. You have the heart of the most hopeful optimist and I love that, because it is not something I possess at all. I am reckless but you're the brave one.

I love you for always thinking of others first. You always want to help, or fix things people who are as giving as you are rare these days.

I love that you understand the way I show love, we have our problems but you have always understood that my way of loving you will always be more physical than spoken.

I love you for seeing the good in people that I don't like or understand. You always try to help things with Benny and I but are still willing to protect me first.

I love the incredible mother that you are. I love the way you try to see the world through their eyes.

I love you for a million small reasons and millions of big ones too. I love the way happy endings make you cry because you believe they're possible but still you know you don't always get them. I love you for the shitty music you sing in the shower. I love you because you always give me the last piece of pizza. I love that you love your friends as though they are family.

I know a conversation you have to have to have today will break some part of your heart. Just know I love you so much and I'm here baby.

-Kell

P.S. I get brownie points for the origami right? It was difficult I practiced it a lot. My points will be redeemed in sex just so we're clear.

P.P.S. Look at me being all communicative! You proud or what? I love you, I'll never stop.

She takes exactly ten minutes for lunch and eats a banana in the truck on the way to the firehouse.

She rolls into the deadly silent firehouse. "I know why you did it! Every man here has family, and friends, people they will leave behind if things go south but they still go in!" She hears Kelly say. Otis catches sight of her but says nothing.

There is a quieter reply. "I have a wife and kids too man! What if they weren't able to get me out? Were you ready to look my wife in the eyes every time you walked into the hospital or a CFD function? Or God forbid my daughter's wedding? Because I accept every day there is a good chance I could be leaving them fatherless but what I refuse to accept is them being fatherless at the fault of another. I understand what you were doing for Logan, I understand it fully. The difference is if something ever happens to Livvy, I know I'm out."

There's a pause. "I have proof I wouldn't be kicking you off my squad without it. Look it was my mistake for thinking I could be your friend and your boss but it's your fault for thinking you were ready. You're not ready Scott; you are hereby released from squad three. Please gather your things and say your goodbyes."

Unsure of the protocol for this kind of thing she waits in Kelly's quarters. When he comes in he doesn't see her. When he tosses off his jacket it lands in her lap. "Is this your way of like giving me your letterman jacket or something?" He jumps clear out of his skin.

"Jesus baby, make some damn noise."

She gives him a slow smile. "I usually stick out like a sore thumb."

"Not to me you don't, I mean yes to be you will always stand out in the crowd but you're never out of place to me." He crosses to her as always. Like he's drawn into her gravitational pull.

"I'll let Tess put playing cards in my spokes again if it will make you feel better. Now I came here to redeem your sex offer… do you remember the promise you made involving your desk? That was the one I was going to cash in but now I only have like five minutes tops so…What's up my love?"

"I meant the desk sex thing too. Like I've been looking forward to it." He pouts.

"But?" She pushes.

"I never had to fire anyone."

"Ah, I've had people taken off my service because trauma wasn't their bag. I think that's what you did for Rice, he may never see that way though and that's fine. You gave him a way to find something that fits his life now is all; He is a grown man Kelly. He'll move on. Thank you for my love note penguin."

"Well I suppose you're right…" He grabs the front end of the wheelchair to tip her backwards. "And…" He leaned in and kissed her. "I'm glad…." He whispers into her mouth as she wraps her arms around his shoulders and kissed him back. "I could make you smile… you taste like bananas."

Matt is used to hearing Kelly and Liv fool around so he mostly ignores the low whispers and kissing sounds. Whatever keeps a marriage alive he supposes?

Moments later he hears a thunderous crash. When no laughter follows the immediate sound, he gets up and walks to Kelly's side. He knocks.

"You guys alright?" he says before sticking his head in.

Liv is lying on the floor still in her tipped over wheelchair. Liv is laughing so hard no sound is coming out and Kelly somehow got tangled in the front wheels has given up trying to stand just sits next to her feet.

Their silent laughter erupts into cackling noise.

"Are you guys alright?" he reiterates.

"Baby are you okay?" Kelly asks trying to catch his breath before laughing again.

"I'm fine…bumped my head but I'm fine. You let me go!"

"I thought I had you balanced on the wall." He defends.

Liv catches her breath. "You wanted to cop a feel lets be real. Now, which one of you assholes is going to help me up?"

"The asshole that dropped you." Matt answers while helping Kelly to his feet. "Smooth moves Severide."

"Hey he did try to catch me he just failed miserably." She said as Kelly picked her up and Matt righted the chair.

-/-/-

Kelly walks her to her car. "Are you sure you're okay babe?" he kissed the top of her head. "If you get a headache, go see Carver."

"You just told me to go see my Ex…" She laughed. "I love it."

"Have you seen Erin?" He asks.

"I have it didn't go well."

Rather than tip her backward again, he goes around facing her and kisses her goodbye. "When you're ready I'm here babe."

"I know, see you at home Kell." She says doing everything she needs to, to get back in the truck.

"See ya Livvy. Love ya."

"Ditto, be careful."

-./-

Liv rolls back into to the hospital it's free of a good trauma so she asks the charge nurse where she's needed.

"What ya got for me Rox?"

"Foreign object up the nose in 3, chicken pox in 7, and there was a delivery for you. Did you kiss that sexy fireman for me?"

"Just for me Roxy. I'll go pull…a toy solider out of a kid's nose and go deal with a neurotic anti-vaccer mom." She takes the envelope and rips it open.

Inside lay her St. Rita medal, Patron Saint of the impossible. It was given to her by the father of her first solo save. She'd lent the medal that never left her pocket to Erin, to get her through the hardship of losing her friend on the job.

There's a simple note it's taped to it. "I don't need this anymore."-Erin

-/-

"Why do little boys shove things up their nose? It's disgusting and I'm a doctor." She texts Kelly after the solider removal.

"A hole is a hole is hole baby, haven't you seen the video of the kid who spazzes out over Warcraft and tries to shove a remote up his ass? We're a weird lot baby…"

"Do what? Ouch!"

She doesn't get a reply from Kelly but doesn't think it over much. He'll probably make some lewd retort when he sees her in the morning. What she doesn't expect is to find him at around 4 in the afternoon sitting in the floor of the day care playing with Klaire and staring at Aaron as he slept. She can tell he's only playing with Klaire halfheartedly instead he seems to be soaking up being in her orbit.

Something is terribly wrong. He's eerily quiet.

"You wanna tell me what's going on?" She rolls up beside him and for once she's taller than him as he sits in the floor. When he glances up at her eyes seemingly searching her thoroughly she feels a trickle of alarm slide down her spine. "Kelly?"

"My God, you're pretty." He whispers. She's wearing grey scrubs the color of steel wool and her ever present ponytail, her makeup has reached the point where it's half gone and she's pretty sure she has someone else's pee on her right pant leg. She is far from pretty.

"I look like hammered shit Kell." She deadpans

"Not to me, to me you look really damn good." He says grinning at her.

"What happened?" She pushes.

"You're entitled to your fears baby. I'll never try to talk you out of them again."

And now she's really scared. "Kelly what happened?"

"Gabi and I were trapped today, out of air, we were skimming air off the water house and…"

"And?!"

"The water cut off and they pulled all other men to other fires."

"What do you mean?" She screeches unable to contain it.

"I mean another chief considered our lives acceptable losses." He says plainly.

"You're not an acceptable loss for me, ever." She says seriously.

"I know that Livvy. Today was a really close call. Then the guys turned the water back on and chief got us out. I didn't even think it all through until after. Chief sent me here for smoke inhalation treatment but I couldn't stay, I had to see them, had to touch them. How many I love yous do think it'll take to get Klaire through a lifetime if I'm not here to show her how she's to be respected and loved?"

"Can we not talk like that please?"

"No I mean it, we lead by example right? I love you, I love so much it surprises me sometimes and I respect you more than anything in this world. You're my best friend."

"Shay." Liv goes to correct ho,

"Shay wasn't first thing I thought of when the danger cleared, It was you." He gestures to the kids. "It was them."

"That's a high compliment."

"It's the truth. How has your day shaped up?" He picks up her hand from where it sets on the wheel of her chair. He threads their fingers and holds her hand.

"Poorly, I'm worried I broke something while trying to protect it. Nothing I can do is right here Kell."

"That bad?"

"She gave back Rita."

"Well shit…" he sighed.

"Yeah."

"I got you baby…I'll be the very best, bestie evet… I mean really bestie's with sex added what's better?"

Liv snorted a laugh. "God I love you. Nothing's better baby, except maybe this day ending."

"Fuck Yes!" he agreed whole heartedly.

"Fuck Yes!" Klaire parroted.

"Don't you dare laugh Kelly! Straight face it. Serious, stern bad Klaire face… shit it's not working." They both dissolved into laughter.

-/-/-

Kelly watched Liv from across the bar. She sat with Rainey drunkenly clinging to her as they sang "I wish you would come pick up fuck me up steal my records… screw all my friends they're all full of shit…with a smile on your face and then do it again come pick me up."

"We should probably cut Rainey off…" Kelly mused.

"She's not even legal!" Gabi griped from behind the bar.

"Yeah well… with the day Liv's had she needed her sisters and Rainey is the fun one… She's almost 19 she's gonna drink, its best if she does it where we can see."

"Good point, I just hope her fake ID is good."

"Yeah, Yeah, I always make sure the girls get home safely."

"Boy Scout." Gabi jabs.

Kelly shrugged. "Husband." He states turning and facing away from Gabi. Rainey climbs on the table as "Shut up and dance." starts playing from the speakers around the bar. She moves swiftly despite her prosthesis. "Aw fuck." he muttered.

He walked over to their booth. "Rainey get down."

"You're not my Daddy." She points out.

"Still I need you to get down." He tries again.

"Livvy…" Rainey pouted and Liv just drunkenly smiles up at him.

"HI baby, sit by me!"

Kelly laughed. "Hey sweetheart, what're you drinkin' now?"

"Something blue…" She held up a finger. "I'm not drunk."

He leaned in and kissed her she tasted like summer and expensive tequila. She pulls him closer and kisses back. He knows two things, she's going to have a major hang over and he knows exactly where this is headed and is totally on board.

"Get off the table Rainey." He hears Gabi say. "Uh, nope not gonna work I don't find Liv near as enticing as Kelly does. Off the table." She orders.

"Were you scared? Am I allowed to ask that? Kelly clammed up when I asked." Rainey asked getting down finally.

"Nah, the guys had our backs, Right Severide?" Gabi laughed when she turned to find them still making out. "I know you're all about her but ya gotta take it elsewhere."

"Clothes are on both sets of hands in view that's down right G rated for Kelly." Liv quipped while planting a chaste kiss to his cheek. "Glad you're okay Gab, really."

-/-/-

You look like death Livvy girl hair of the dog?" Bunny offered as Liv rolled into her bar.

Liv hung her purse on her chair before forming a retort. "And you look like a soccer mom from a hot pockets commercial only trashier but you don't see me pointing it out do you?"

Erin snort back a laugh. "What? She's funny." She said after catching Bunny's glare.

"See I got a text from Hank seems you almost got shot again, and now you're quitting the force. Wanna tell me what that's about?" Liv inquires conversationally.

"I've been talking to my mom."

"And great things always come from that." She can't stop the sarcasm from spilling out of her mouth.

"I think I need distance, from the job and from you." Erin says softly.

"No!"

Erin finally looks over at her. "Livvy, you know where I'm headed it's why you took your kids away from me. That's smart, you're a good mama."

"Them I took them away not me…"

"She needs family now not a friend who uses her as a crutch." Bunny added.

"I'm her family you conniving, heartless, poisonous, festering, leeching, gash she has the misfortune to call a mother! Get the hell out of my face before I make Erin's hate for you look like a picnic." Liv's sharp tongue takes over.

"Stop it both of you. Please…"

"Erin, I didn't mean."

"Yes you did. I'm not leaving you because I'm mad at you, I'm not mad Liv, and I need to protect you from me."

"The hell you do!" She almost shouts.

"I killed her!" Erin shouts back. "I let her follow me around like a puppy and I got her killed. I'm gutted by it. Nadia and I didn't have fifteen years of history behind us. I love you, from a place so deep that if something ever happened to you because of me? I'd never survive."

She wants to play hard ball fine, Liv will play. "You wanna talk kills? Fine, we'll talk kills because you didn't fucking kill her! Wanna know how many patients I've killed 7 four of them were children. I fucked up, or missed something and they are dead because of me! That's killing someone, I see their faces every-"

"I don't think-"Bunny starts.

"Fuck off Bunny no one asked you. I see their faces every time I go into work, they make me better! I'm a better doctor because of those failures. You in no way had a hand in Nadia's death that was circumstance nothing more." Liv tried to break through.

"My mind is made up Liv." She says it in a barely audible whisper.

"Fifteen years and you're just gonna walk away?"

She nods. "You got a life worth having Liv. Don't screw it up trying to save yet another hopeless case."

"Well when you're done letting her…" She cut her eyes at Erin's mother, "Poison your heart you give me a call."

-/-/-

She cries most of the way home. When she pulls up and gets out of the car Kelly is in the front yard with Owen of all people playing with the kids.

Once she's up the walk Kelly wraps her in a tight hug. Her brother ducks down and presses a kiss into her hair. "That bad huh? He asked.

"Bunny got what she always wanted; she's stripped away everything that taught Erin to love herself."

"She'll be back, it's just a pause not the end, it ain't over til you're dead. Until then there's hope." Kelly said.

-/-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -/-
> 
> AN: I own nothing but my characters and please just for this one chapter if can't find anything nice to say please leave it unsaid. Other than that, I hope you liked it. If you did, tell me! Do you guys want me to wait for next season or write through the hiatus? Thanks for reading.-MM


	34. Chapter 34

Liv sat on the other end of the couch, her laptop balanced on his legs as they were stretched over her lap. She sighed in disappointment. "What Babe?" Kelly asked not looking away from the football game.

"Just some minor leg envy, I'll be fine."

"Leg what?" confusion colors his words.

"It's when I envy people with the ability I do not possess."

"Ummm." He sputters because he sees no way any other response will end well. Instead he just waits.

"Did you know you can have sex on a motorcycle?"

Now he does look away from the TV. "What the hell did Jodi give you to read?"

"It doesn't matter." She blushed just a little.

"The hell it doesn't… Gimmie…." He sat up reaching for the laptop.

"No you'll think I'm perverted." She scooted further away sheltering the laptop with her arms.

"It'll just make you hotter in my mind."

She turns the laptop to him. "Don't judge me. Have you ever had sex on a motorcycle? Ya know with someone else? The dirty starts about a third of the way down."

She waits while he reads. A few minutes later. "I watch porn, you just read it." He said in slight awe and Liv rolled her eyes.

"See judgmental much?" She goes to close the laptop.

"Oh no, I'm using this as research." He muttered before he finished reading.

"For what? I can't stand ergo we can't do that."

"Since when has your inability to stand ever stopped me?" he looks over at her blue eyes sparkling in mischief.

"Fair point."

"Question." He said half distracted as he went to leave a comment.

"Answer." She retorted.

"Why the sudden interest? You hate my bike."

"I don't hate the way you look on it." She hedged with a little shrug making him smile.

"So you're shallow."

"Incredibly so."

"Should I feel objectified?"

"Completely." She grinned at him.

He sat the computer on the coffee table. He stood up and walked over to her end of the couch. "Go put on pants and shoes; we're going for a ride."

"It's a eleven at night the babies are in bed and…"

"And nothing, as much as it saddens me to use this sentence in your presence, go put on pants. I'll call one of your siblings." He plunks her into her wheelchair.

She gaped at him for a moment. "Oh we're doing this, you have your fantasies I have mine."

"You still have fantasies about me?"

He scoffed. "Duh."

"Which part of that sentence pained you to say?"

"Telling you to put on pants. Please, don't make me do it again."

She comes back downstairs dressed. "Is this proper attire?" She asked and he turned from locating his bike keys to look at her.

She wore her beloved Northwestern hoodie and jeans. Her hair down and her glasses still on, as she'd already taken out her contacts.

"That's perfect." He gifts her with a genuine smile. There is a knock at the door. "That's probably Liam. I sent a sibling wide text and he volunteered."

Liv's phone buzzes as Kelly goes to answer the door.

Owen: Your husband is an asshole. He woke me up.

Buzz again. Viv: Somebody is trying to get some…

Buzz again and again: Rainey: Romantic gestures are the best. Pincushion says hi!

Lang: Who enacted the phone tree?

She's trying to text each of them back as Kelly scoops her out of the wheelchair. "Put down the phone and let them live in suspense anger and envy. Viv's not wrong through sex would be nice. Apparently Owen included me on his group bitch fest."

They meet Liam on the stairs. "Wear a helmet not even Mommy can love road kill." He kissed her cheek.

"They're down they should stay that way."

"And if not I know how to make a bottle, give medication and give both the baby Heimlich and CPR. Only my heart is gypsy my brain is all responsible and shit."

"Thank you Liam."

"Not a problem. I'm going to go stare at their tiny sleeping faces and contemplate my life choices. Ecology is kicking my ass."

"Siri…Text Weird Hippie Mother. I told Livvy Loser you wouldn't love her with a smashed face and to please wear a helmet just like you asked." They hear him say as he goes into the living room.

-/-/-

Getting Livvy on the bike had been interesting but not impossible and he is totally going to strangle the neighbor who gawked as she threw her leg over to straddle the bike and then honked at her.

This bike is smaller than the newer models and she's right up against him holding on tight. He usually doesn't ride with other people for him the bike equals solitude but Liv always means solace and it's really nice feeling her breath feathering across the back of his neck and her arms tighten around him as he takes the turns fast.

She's not scared one bit. She's laughing gleefully every now and then.

He slows down through the traffic and rolls through Millennium Park before stopping in front of the bean.

Liv takes off the helmet. "That was a blast! It's still an abhorrent death trap but…fun."

"Yeah wanna make it a thing?"

"What like on Wednesdays we roll? I roll everywhere." She points out with a smirk he can't see.

He pulls his phone out. "I think that getting you on the bike of death calls for a picture."

"Do I have helmet hair?"

He twists to look back at her. "No, just sort of windblown but I'm digging it." He took off his own helmet.

"Ready?" he asks and she rests her chin on his shoulder smiling ever so bright. He snaps the picture. He captioned it "Finally got Hot Doc on the bike!" #SomuchhotterthanTaraKnowles #Waylessbitchy

He tagged her and posted it.

"I'm your biker chick?" She squeezed him a little hug.

He threads his fingers with hers. "You're my everything chick. So, the Erin thing you've dodged anytime someone asked but I'm doing it anyway because I love you. Are you alright?"

She sighs but answers. "There's this procedure that can be done when someone is on death's door. You can drain the blood volume and replace it with cold saline it sends them into a hypothermic state where you're neither dead nor alive clinically speaking you're just there. It's like medical suspended animation. That's how I feel with Erin, we're just there and there isn't a damn thing I can do to sway it either way."

"One the procedure sounds gross and very cool and I hope you get to try that out at least once because weird doctor shit makes you happy. Two, Erin is going to stop spiraling and realize Bunny is the devil and you'll be there. Three, I love you and this was fun but we have to work tomorrow we should go home and go to bed."

"Are suggesting sleep or sex?" she joked.

"Could I get sex?" He shot back.

"Sex is still on the table. It's always on the table."

"Then yes, I suggest sex until one of us is no longer capable of being conscious."

-/-/-/-

Liv's phone rings. "Talk nerdy to me." She rolls out of the elevator.

"Hey Babe."

"Oh! It's you, I thought it was Carver we were discussing- You know what? Never mind talk dirty to me!" She says with a snicker/

There is silence. "Or just talk to me. Kelly, Baby I was just joking around with Carver."

"I got demoted." He said flatly.

"What?" Liv accidently rolls into the wall distracted by what he'd just said. "Well that's going to bruise, what did you just say?" She asks inspecting her injured hand.

"I got demoted; too much turn over on squad put my leadership skills into question."

She parks herself to one side of the hall and buckles down for some serious conversation, no one is dying right now and Carver's consult can wait. "Can they do that? Why take your rank? Why not just put someone over you? I don't understand. I'm going to call Benny!"

"Yes baby, they can. Don't call Benny promise me." He pled sounding tired.

"He could help!"

"He can't its department political bullshit."

"None of those turn overs were your fault."

"Yeah well it seems between the guy gunning for commissioner picking me off-"

"Fuck that guy!" She snarls.

"And vouching for a ducker I have more than a few nails in my coffin baby."

"Well, you'll get your rank back I know that like it was the back of my hand. In the meantime, we hate the guy replacing you. We hate him right?"

Kelly snorts back a laugh. "Ok so you can't hate your superior but I totally can, I will loathe him on sight just for you."

"Thank you Livvy." He whispers into her ear.

"For?"

"Making me smile."

"I'll be by on my lunch to hate him and to kiss you, and hug you and love you because you are my squishy." She promises.

"Still have no idea what that is but okay."

-/-/

Liv rolls into the fire station, and immediately hears Kelly's voice. "So I come into the house and it's so quiet literally all I hear is the TV and even that's barely audible. Considering my family's history with weird shit happening to us, I go running, they're all sleeping. Here's the kicker Liv has her ice cream carton resting on Aaron's head spoon half way to her mouth."

"Please tell me you took pictures." Cruz says.

"Of course." The proud way he says it has Liv smiling in spite herself.

"Hey!" She hears someone say. She'd come through the front entrance and is sitting in Connie's office, where she'd stopped to say hello, but hearing him speaking had kept her still. He'd sounded happy despite his bad news. She can't be seen from the truck bay where Kelly sits with his guys at "Squad Table."

"Can I talk to you? It's about Erin," Ah now she recognizes the voice it's Jay Halsted. "And Liv's not answering my calls."

There's a long pause. "She alive?" Kelly asked.

"Yes."

"Okay, then what do you need my wife for?" a chair squeaks and she visualizes Kelly leaned back, arms crossed over his chest.

"Has it really gone that far between them? She quit her job." Jay sounds frantic she should reveal herself. Connie puts a reassuring hand over hers, where its rests on the wheel effectively stopping her.

"That's not Livvy's problem." Kelly said, his voice is clipped and his patience is being worked. Liv can tell by his tone.

"I-"

Kelly cut him off. "Halsted, I get it, I really do. If there was something Liv could do to penetrate Erin's self-hatred grief thing, she'd have done it. She walked away from Livvy too, and it really pisses me off because no matter how hard I pushed that woman away, and trust me I pushed hard, I never walked on her."

"The way I hear it is Liv left first." Jay countered sounding angry on Erin's behalf. Which given he only knows half the story, Liv can understand well enough.

"No, I think Liv just refused to bring her kids around someone who she knew was headed straight for strung out junkie territory. Liv never took herself out of Lindsay's life. Erin did that all on her own and it's slowly killing my wife, day by day, and I don't care how bad you want your girlfriend back, you will not leverage my wife to do it." Kelly is so serious about it Liv doesn't really know what to think, or how to feel.

"See Erin and I we are a lot alike, we get destructive and explode all over everything, not my wife she stuffs it all down. She holds it all, in until her whole world is collapsing around her and she's still smiling so goddamn bright, that you don't have a clue anything could be wrong that's how good my wife is at hiding. The one person who could see through her and not judge her for it walked."

He sighed so deeply Liv's heart hurt. "Now it's just me, I'm keeping her a float. When she's sad because her best friend is going to end up dead if she stays on that road, when she doesn't wanna get outta bed because her brain chemistry is fucked, and she has one of the hardest jobs in the world to top it all off? It's on me , I'm her best friend, I'm her protector, I'm the person who loves her most. She is my priority,"

"Alright man I hear you." Jay relents.

"Good, she'll come back on her own. To both of you, there's only so far you can push someone like Erin. Unlike me doesn't have anything left to loose. Be careful."

There's the sound of the door closing, then a prolonged silence before Capp murmurs "Your play Severide."

She looks over to find Connie staring at her wordlessly. She rolls from her hiding spot into the truck bay.

"Baby! When did you get here?" Kelly asks her.

"Just now, brought you Starbucks, might be cold the line was long." She lies easily handing him the cup. If he catches on to her lie she can't tell.

"Play for me, be right back." He gets up to warm his coffee and drops a kiss on her mouth as he passes her.

"My turn?" she asks and Capp nods. She does quick math on what's in play and slaps down a domino to make twenty points.

"How did you do that so fast?" Tony asked.

"I'm a doctor, I can calculate in my head just how much of which ever drug I give you can kill you and just how fast."

"What she means is don't cross her ever, and don't play mathematical or strategic games with her if you're attached to the idea of victory." Kelly replied.

She looks up at Kelly leaning on the door frame, she wants to be mad at him for airing her business that way, but she can't. He was only being truthful; she is starting to fall apart, just like Erin. The only way she can fix her own issues is to do it herself and lean on her guy. "Want me to finish the hand for you?" She asked.

"Uh huh, I'm losing." He said sipping his coffee. His smile is hidden by the rim of the cup but she can see it in his eyes.

She winks at him. "You won't be for long Kell." The guys groan in defeat and Liv can't help but laugh.

A handsome black guy walks up to where Liv sits in Kelly's spot at the squad table, while playing dominoes. "Guys! Lou Malnati's on me." He looks at Liv "And you are?"

"Olivia Severide. Wife of the guy whose job you took." She said dryly said as everyone froze.

"Ma'am, its uncomfortable situation for all involved."

"Oh so it's uncomfortable for you? What about the man who was blindsided today?"

Kelly leaned over and plunked a slice of pizza down on the plate in front of her. Effectively giving the guys permission to eat. "Olivia, I get what you're trying to do here, and I love you for it, being all possessive and protective and stuff but just don't okay? I'll fight my own battles." He leaned down and kissed her I gotta sign up for the management class, stay eats my slice of pizza so I know you ate something half decent and I'll see you at home." He kissed her forehead.

"Taking thirty." He directed to Patterson.

"Love you babe!" Liv called to his back.

"Back at you sweetheart. Have a good day, and of course I'll be careful."

"Smart ass! Nice ass but still smart." Liv looks around "My innermost thoughts got out didn't they. You're doing the "Liv is weird stare." Again." She took a bite of the Pizza.

"What's your name Captain?" He says nothing. "Look my guy, he's given four years of his life if not more in service to the city of Chicago, to every citizen in this district myself included, ask him how we met when he's feeling friendlier. He has served this firehouse tirelessly, to the detriment of his own health and today? Today? He got screwed. The worst part, you may as well come out of hiding Boden so I can say this to your face. The worst part is you knew this was coming way before the start of shift. had poker night in my house, I always remember face. You had enough time to line your buddy up for the job and not enough to have the decency to take his bugle in a more private setting. It's political bullshit I get that. You could have handled it better and well you should." She took another bite chewed and swallowed the entire room is perfectly quiet.

"Now, Captain whose name I still don't know because you're too dumbstruck to speak, hey its okay it happens to me a lot it's either the brains the boobs or the chair that do it but I digress, you want Kelly to work under you? You want him to work well and hard for you? You want his men to work under you and believe me they're still his guys; they looked to him before eating just now. I think it's safe to say who they trust. You want this to work? You treat Kelly and the rest of them like your equal. Kelly is used to giving the order and taking the lead he knows his squad, so if he tells you something I'd listen because after today? I just don't see Kelly staying for any other reason than the men at this table. He will get his rank back and he might even leave if he isn't given back every bit he earned here and I can't say I'd blame him."

"Damn you must be somethin' else to live with Darlin'."

"I keep it interesting." She returned.

"Dallas Patterson." He offered his hand.

Liv shook his hand. "Not often my tirades win people over I just may like you."

"Hard to argue the truth as you see it Ma'am."

"It's Liv, the only people who ma'am me are scared first year interns about to lose control of bodily functions." She unbreaked her chair. "I gotta go boys, lovely as always be careful! Enjoy Squad Cruz." She took her pizza with her.

"Olivia." Boden called.

She turned back. "Kelly respects the hell out of you. Even when you disagree, he respects you and you saved his life so that means I owe you some respect and you've got it, but you handled this wrong and I had my say to your face the respectable way. You cannot scold me I don't work for you and an apology? It's not going to work, so just let sleeping dogs lie and leave me to my opinion and hope my respect remains when this is over." Liv said dead seriously she hears Mouch whistle lowly behind her.

"Maybe you should refrain from vesting the house until you feel differently."

"Maybe I will."

-/-/-/-

"Listen guys, I'm having a Bar-B-Que tonight on my boat. Would you please all come?" Patterson said as they were all leaving.

"I have a wife and kids at home who I devote my off time to." Kelly retorted.

"My boat isn't wheelchair accessible."

"Then I definitely won't be in attendance. Where I go my wife goes."

"It's mandatory." He replied snappishly.

"Yeah well my wife's my priority outside these walls, no matter what she said, acceptance of her is mandatory for me. So I won't be there."

The guys from squad look on slightly shocked. "He goes out without Liv all the time." Capp said lowly.

"Captain Patterson was being snide. He reacted." Chili said walking by.

Cruz caught up with Kelly at his bike. "Come on man, go to the thing I'll get some IPA and we'll drink ourselves overboard…"

"Maybe, you know how I feel about Liv being treated equally and if Patterson refuses to do that? I got no use for him."

"The things she said? The man has a right to…"

"Did she say anything untruthful? Disrespectful?"

"No, not really."

"Then the things she said have no bearing on his holier than thou attitude. Mandatory? I'm not fucking five years old? No one and I mean no one tells me what to do outside the fire house. "Kelly snarled shoving on his helmet.

He got on the bike and headed home. When he pulls up Liv's already home. He walks in and is hit with a wall of noise and the smell of pancakes lies on the air. "Baby I'm home!" He shouts up.

"Hey! We're up here making a late breakfast. You want some?" he takes the stairs two at a time excited by the prospect of seeing his babies and wife after the days he had. Liv's Sunday Morning playlist plays from the speakers system. He knows the playlist because she sings this particular song to the kids. It's one of her favorites. "Heart like Yours" by Willamette Stone.

Aaron sits at her feet squalling and chewing a wash cloth, while Klaire patiently awaits her pancakes in her high chair.

"Daddy! I want syrup!" She informs him and he ruffles her hair as he walks by her.

"Hi Klaire! I'm not you're going to win that battle."

"I love you!"

He laughed. "I love you too Honey." He kissed the top of her head.

He picks Aaron up. "What's wrong brother? Huh? What happened?" he stops crying but continues to gnaw on the cloth.

"He's teething and wants to be held." Liv said yawning and flipping a pancake,

"I'll hold him. I'm sorry you're hurting brother." He starts doing the bouncy move and Aaron gurgles happily.

He leaned over and kissed Liv. "Hey my love."

"What's her name and how pretty is she?" Liv said smiling having seen right through him.

"What? What makes think there is even a her to begin with?"

"Because honey, you attract women like flies on shit. It's your super power. So…what's her name? And how'd you meet that it warrants buttering me up to tell me about her?"

"Okay so I had to partner up for the management class and it was either her or the guy with social anxiety issues."

"Uh huh…like I said flies on shit. I mean I get it, you're startlingly beautiful for a man and ten kinds of charming but man you're super power is frustrating." She joked.

"She's like an 8 maybe and her name's Jamie but I told her I was wifed up and that she'd need to come here for homework and studying."

Liv starts laughing and can't stop. "What's so funny?"

"I just never thought my husband would invite his study buddy over and then say she was only an 8 like that's ugly or something."

He shrugged. "You changed my standard of beauty."

"You're so full of shit."

"I'm serious a guy doesn't need an 8 when has a 12.5 at home."

"So she's really very pretty huh?"

-/-/-

That night Liv hears the doorbell ring and goes to answer it leaving Kelly to watch Mulan with Klaire. On the other side of the door stands a pretty blonde. She looks like Shay so much it skeeves Liv out. An eight Liv's crippled derriere.

"Is this where Kelly Severide lives?" The lady asked.

"Jamie the brief thrower I presume? Liv Severide, nice to meet you. He's upstairs follow me."

They take the elevator and when they reach the second floor Kelly is launching into "I'll make a man out of you." With a pink fur trimmed and sparkle bedecked tiara on his head.

Klaire marches in place on the couch using a tooth brush holder as kendo stick while sucking on Aaron's pacifier.

"Let's get down to business to defeat the Huns! Did they send me daughters, when I asked for sons?" He turns sharply to face Klaire with a deep scowl that makes Klaire giggle.

"You're the saddest bunch I ever knew, but you can bet before we're through. Mister I'll make a man out of you!"

"Make a man…" Klaire parrots.

"Tranquil as a forest-"Klaire whacks him in the face with her tooth brush holder. "That wasn't very tranquil… Give your brother back his pacy Klairey I'll make a big girl out of you!" Liv's snorting laughter draws his attention.

"Hey Honey. You have a guest."

"Hi Jamie, you've met my wife. This is my daughter Klaire and on Monday's we're the entire cast of Mulan."

"And the tiara?"

"Make shift army helmet. I also moonlight as Princess Anna or Kristoff depending on her mood." He takes off the tiara putting it on Klaire.

He turned to face Klaire. "I gotta do my homework but thanks for being the Mulan to my chesty army dude." She took the pacifier out of her mouth and kissed him. "Give that back to brother."

"You go away." She says her standard response when she doesn't want to do something.

-/-/-

They go into the kitchen and he sets up the baby gate. Klaire sits on the opposite side of it glaring daggers at the pair until Liv takes her for a bath. Occasionally muttering a heartfelt "Go away." At Jamie. Liv need not be jealous; Klaire's got her bases covered.

Aaron doesn't pay them any mind. He's enthralled by the dragon in Mulan.

Kelly listens with half an ear to the baby monitor as Liv bathes them and he can hear happy shrieking Liv's slightly off key singing and splashing.

"What's wrong? You seem distracted. "Jamie asked.

"When you do the job that I do, you learn early to cherish all the little moments and I'm missing the moments by taking a class I do not need for pointless reasons. I'm angry they think its okay to steal away my time with my children."

-/-

"Kell…"

"Yeah…" He said not looking up from his worksheet.

"I can't step over the gate and someone wants her goodnight kiss."

"Shit! I'm sorry baby I forgot."

"It's okay." He gets up and walks over to the gate and plucks Klaire off her feet. The little girl is wearing a Hello Kitty night gown her dark hair brushed out of her face still wet from her bath. "Goodnight Klairey Girl. Love you." He kissed her forehead and cheek.

"Night, night, Wuv you." Is her sleepy mumbling reply.

"Someone is sleepy."

"Go Away." He laughed and kissed her forehead again and set her down to lift Aaron from Liv's lap and repeated the process.

When he hands Aaron back he leans down to kiss Liv. "In case you felt left out."

"An eight?" she whispered back. "Liar, Liar, pants on fire."

"12.5 my friend." He retorts.

"Whatever makes you feel better Kell. I'm going to go get them down for the night. When you're done, I'll be upstairs. Read into that as you like." She flirted rolling away.

"You're mean."

"I'm motivating you."

When he turns back to Jamie he's muttering to himself about pretty women and blackmail. She's watching with a soft smile. "How do you forget your wheelchair bound wife can't step over the baby gate?"

"Because the wheelchair is the last thing I care about. Yes, logically I know it's there I mean I put her in the car, I carry her places, I know her disability is there but it has no bearing on how I see her, it doesn't matter. So yes, I forget." He answered sitting back down to work.

"That's sweet."

"What?" He was honestly confused. Why was loving his wife any sweeter than any other guy doing the same.

"Its sweet that you love like that."

"I love the woman, nothing else."

-/-/-

He walks upstairs and finds Liv lying in bed watching Arrow. Yet another of Rainey's recommendations. He climbed on the bed. "I can't believe I'm going to say this but I do not miss dividing my attention between women. It's tiring and I love you." He crawled up to her laying his head on her boobs.

"Are you hanging it up?" She said smiling.

"Maybe, She left Cruz thinks I banged her but I'll correct it later." He yawned.

"Cruz?"

"Came by to talk me into going to the captain's function. He made it known you were less than welcome. I made it crystal clear there is no me without you. I meant it."

"I've been asked by Boden to keep my distance from 51 until this all blows over."

"What?"

"You weren't the only one who voiced their opinion." Liv says not looking at him.

"Olivia… baby…." Kelly whined this had to be so much worse than he was lead to believe.

"I didn't fight your battle for you and didn't make anyone a villain. They did you dirty Kell there is no two ways about it and I couldn't let it stand, I couldn't you're my guy and you put in so much fucking heart there and no one even realizes it. I love you and I had to speak my mind. I had too."

"Thank you, I'm really proud knowing you'll stand up even though my job is not your favorite thing ever. It means a lot,"

"What can I say? I'm fucking awesome!"

He turned over and yanked her to him and rolled her underneath him. "I could think of other adjectives…"

"Or you could just show instead of tell." He leaned down and kissed her.

AN: I own nothing but my characters and my sections of plot. Mulan belongs to Disney, Chicago Fire belongs to Derek Haas, Michael Brandt and NBC. Heart like yours belongs to Willamette Stone. If You liked it please tell me! Glad to be back -MM


	35. Chapter 35

They kiss goodbye for the day and rush out the door. "I'll text you alright." Liv calls to him and Kelly turns back.

"Why did you have to do that?"

Liv says not bothering to look at him as she buckled Klaire into her car seat. "Do what? "With Klaire safely in she closes the truck door.

"Shoot off your mouth and get kicked out of the firehouse."

She picks up Aaron still in his carrier and balances it in her lap. "Shoot off my mouth? Because I am who I am Kelly! You're not going to say anything in defense of yourself! They did you wrong and I told them so and if defending you makes me wrong then I guess I am. I'm sure as hell not sorry for doing it though. If you want to pick a fight with me because you can't pick one with them? That's fine but do it later right now we're both late for work. "She moved to roll to the other side of the truck and put Aaron in.

He caught her hands before she could roll away. "You're the last person I want to fight with. Honestly baby, I miss you. We used to each other every day and now I'm just some grunt who can't spend the five minutes between calls with his wife and I liked doing that! Even if it was just for coffee and quick kisses I looked forward it. Every day."

She chews her bottom lip looking up at him. "I didn't mean to screw that up! I just- sometimes my sense of right and wrong, my view of fairness and justice it gets in the way some times."

"You should totally be a vigilante for Halloween! That was very "I am The Green Arrow." He said grinning. He leaned in and kissed her scooping Aaron from her lap.

"Do you know how hard it is to put leather pants on my crippled behind?"

"Oracle then, you already got the wheels and the hair for it." He put Aaron in the car and kissed him on the head and leaned across the seat to kiss Klaire too.

"Who's that?" She asks getting settled behind the wheel.

"Google it. DC not Marvel!" He closes Arron's door and steps back from the truck. "Love you baby, save lives, do your thing have a good day!"

"I love you too! Be careful; call me if you find the time. Keep an eye out for my text! You'll enjoy it I promise." She grinned over at him.

-/-/-

Kelly's phone buzzed on the squad truck dash. He snapped it up before the new captain could make a comment. There was a text from "The Boo."

Boo: Would you rather install a mirror on the ceiling above the bed or just have sex in the elevator?"

His heart straight up froze mid beat.

He typed slowly sensing a trap somewhere. "Why do you ask?"

"Ya know…just for a friend,"

"This friend sounds a little perverted, do I know them?" He grinned widely ignoring Capp's inquisitive stare.

"Very much so, and yes, I believe you do."

"And where might this "friend." Currently be?"

"Somewhere in the city of Chicago….How bout you?"

"Squad truck. You're killing me." He shifted in his seat.

"And we haven't even gotten to the good part! All my clothes are still on mentally speaking. *Pouty Faced Livvy*

"You're mean."

"And you love it." Is her retort followed by a little devil emoticon. The pulls into the bay.

"Hold all your dirty thoughts; I need to find a place that's more private." He ditches his fire gear and slips the phone and goes to a free bathroom stall.

"Good luck hiding your hard on." He reads when he fishes his phone back. He has so corrupted his wife over time.

"You're horrible human being and I adore you." He types quickly.

"You somewhere safe yet?"

He locks the stall door. "Yes, why?"

Just then, a picture came through. She had to have set a timer and balanced her phone on the shower railing. She sat completely naked in the shower chair wet hair clinging to her shoulder and water droplets clinging to all his favorite places. He could not breathe.

"OMG!"

"You like?"

"My brain cannot handle all the different levels of hot you are. I may have just had a mini stroke."

"The water is cold and now and I'm lonely. I think I will get out now."

She is a lovely, gorgeous, little unapologetic tease. "But I didn't even tell you all of the things I want to do to you. There tons of truly nasty things."

"Really ? You could still tell me. But I really am cold."

"Can I keep this picture forever, and ever?"

"LOL! Yes, but I swear to God Kelly if one of you're guys sees it. You're a dead man." He waits a few seconds and calls her.

"Hey Livvy."

"Hi baby…" She said sounding a little out of breath.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, transferring into that shower is precarious."

"Purple or Green scrubs?"

"No, no, no. Do not get dressed." He was physically incapable of suppressing his whine of displeasure.

"I have little people to save." She points.

"I have blue balls to get rid of because you're a fucking tease."

He loves her satisfied little chuckle but won't be admitting it. "Mirror or elevator? I always deliver on my dirty promises."

"Elevator, no take backs."

"You really should thank Chief for disallowing me from visiting you. Made us get creative."

Yeah he still wasn't thanking anyone. "Livvy?"

"Hmm."

"You're beautiful. I mean it."

"Thank you Kelly, even though I think you're just lusty eyed right now."

"I meant what I said, I love you… be prepared for what you just unleashed. See you at home Baby."

"You make such sweet threats Kell…" She trails off. "What? The cute ER guy needs help! Gotta go!" And the line went dead."

-/-/=

He flops back on to his to his bunk and smiles goofily at his lock screen. It's a picture of Liv and Shay sitting at the kitchen table in their old apartment. He'd caught them having an impassioned discussion about the importance of disaster training in all levels of medicine and they had look so happy in a rare moment of comradery he'd made them turn and smile at him.

They were finally friends just before Shay's death. No one may ever know how sad that missed chance makes him.

"What's making you smile like a drunk?" Jamie Killian asked peering into the bunk.

"My wife, though I'm not smiling directly at her more at the thought of her, because I like her. I like my wife."

"Must be some wife, to get that kind of smile just with your thoughts."

"We all like Severide's wife she's nice to look at and she cooks." Cruz said across from him.

He cocks his head at Cruz "See I knew you had a thing for her."

"Which I've never denied. You dump her I'm snatching her up like jacks on the playground."

Kelly laughs. "You don't have enough game to snag Liv."

"You talk a big game, "Mister I used a fire truck to dazzle small children and charm her into a date." I wouldn't need a fire truck."

"Oh is that right?" Kelly laughed. "What'd you need Jamie?"

"I brought you the work book so you could copy me. You can call it a favor."

"Yeah, about that my Dad always taught me to never make deals with a lawyer and past experience has taught me not to take favors from other women. It offends my rightly possessive woman. So I just as soon work for it. We're having a big dinner with Liv's siblings to plan her parents wedding anniversary. You can come by. It's just I've had to earn Liv's trust so now I prefer to do things in plain sight where she can't get the wrong idea."

-/-/-

Kelly wakes early on his day off to go check the neighborhood of the fire where they'd been held up and blockaded from fighting the fire. With chief's job on the line as yet more political shit is piled on them by I.A. When he strikes out at finding a witness, he goes and gets breakfast to wake his girls and boy up with.

-/-/-

Liv sits huddled into a corner of the couch with Aaron sleeping in her arms. "How do look at him and not see her?" Her head whips around at the sound of Jay's voice. Apparently Mila had let him in.

"Easy, he looks like Kelly."

"You know what I mean."

"What do you want Halstead? I mean really, what is that you want? Do want Erin or Lindsay? Because for you they're two separate women. If you want Lindsay back? You're gonna be waiting a long time, because right now? She's just my tender hearted, fucked up, best friend who just wants to hide."

"And you're letting her! "He retorts in a snarl

"Oh fuck you Jay, I'm not letting her do anything! I have no control over Erin. None, I can tell her what I think and hold on for the ride but that's it."

"Bullshit! She listens to you."

"When she wants too and not before!" She screamed and Aaron woke crying. "Thanks for that." She put Aaron to her shoulder. "Right now the only thing she can hear is Bunny, and her guilt. The only thing she feels right now is how easy it is to be high."

"Her furlough is up tomorrow, and she looked right through me and said you done? It scared me."

"What scares me is how you're only concerned with her being a cop again, and my only concern is how to get her sober again."

He crosses his arms defensively. "She looked hung over but not strung out. I think she's sober."

"The thing is you think, you don't know. I know she relapsed, I saw the evidence, hell given a different period in our lives I'd have faked her piss test for her. It's not a different period though, we're grown up now and I have responsibilities, and choices and so does she. I can't make her do the right thing, I can't save her and it haunts me at night, I can't sleep. You know how often I worry; I worry, that I will have to go ID her body. I worry she is going to hate me for the rest of my life because; I took the out when she gave it. I'm scared I'm never going to get her back and you're worried about her job."

"I thought I told you to stay away from my wife." Kelly said lowly.

"I can handle myself Kelly."

"I know you can, that's not the point." He muttered.

"Point is, pretty boy here doesn't get you can't help someone who smacks you down when you try." He crosses to her "Jelly donut, Starbucks and an overpriced cookie just cause…."

"Cause why?"

"I love Yo ass." He smirked handing her the food and plopping down beside her.

Liv snorts back a laugh. Jay shoots her a dirty look. "Gimmie Brother, and eat your breakfast. I gave Klairey chocolate… because I love her too." Jay just stared at them. "We're allowed to be happy in spite of Lindsay's life crisis you should try it sometime." Kelly points out settling the baby on his chest,

/-/

After Jay left Liv texted Erin. Even if we can't find heaven I'll walk…er roll through hell with you. Love, you're not alone cause I'm gonna sit by you.

Erin: Okay, you get points because that was funny and I sang it in my head. Made me smile.

Liv: Love you matter what.

Erin: back at you.

-/-

When Jamie shows up she brings wine and scotch just to make sure her bases. A kid with shaggy hair who's avoiding eye contact with her answers the door. "My sister made me get the door because learning simple pleasantries is important. I disagree but relented because Kelly promised to let me ride the car with all the windows down. Liv says that's bribery, she's right. I don't care. I'm Grady everyone's upstairs."

"Okay…" Jamie says warily

"You're pretty, and you look like my sister's dead girlfriend. I assume that makes Livvy very uncomfortable, Kelly is her entire world which is likely the sole reason she tolerates it but you are very pretty."

"Um thank you."

"It was mostly running commentary because my brain is weird but you're welcome."

-/-/-/-

"I freaked her out with my autism and she looks like Shay, so someone should warn Vivi when she gets out of the bathroom, so she doesn't cry or have any unexpected emotions. I answered the door ergo we ride Severide." Grady says entering the kitchen.

"After dinner if I'm sober alright bud." HE replies as Liv smacks his hand away from the bed basket she's preparing.

"You didn't freak me out. More surprised me with your honesty."

"Mom says it will win me the hearts of the girls one day I think she's full of shit."

"When a girl ask you if those jeans make her butt look big, bad or flat just lie." Kelly advises.

"Kelly Benjamin!"

"What we've established I love your ass." He turns to Jamie. "Ready for introductions? It's a huge crew; if I go to fast or you're confused tell me."

=/=

After dinner.

"So how was the work day Kelly? Livvy says they're using you as the whipping boy and not in a fun sexy way." Rainey said. "What? That's exactly what she said." She asks when everyone looks at her.

"The highlight of my day was a half decent save I had to ask permission to make and some picture mail."

"You're Welcome." Liv quipped, while picking at Klaire's left over chicken spaghetti.

"You have my eternal gratitude baby."

"Oh that's just nasty Liv!" Owen whines.

She grins wolfishly at her big brother just to make him squirm "Might be a meme might be a nude but we both know you really do not wanna know."

"She's got you there Owen." Kelly said. "Then to make matters worse I swept the neighborhood where we got blockaded and they put the screws to the only witness so he won't talk and I just wanted to fucking shake someone."

"Glad you didn't baby, I might not have had bail money."

"Did you do as they instruct in the management classes? Count to ten then scan your body for any residual rage?" Jamie asked.

"Residual? I had all the rage all of it."

"Welcome to the world of autism." Grady deadpanned.

"I think this calls for scotch." Jamie said and started pouring tumblers for those of age. Liv steals Kelly's glass after he takes a swallow. She takes a swig and he stares at the blood red lip print she left behind on the glass.

"I think it calls for an altogether different stress reliever." He muttered.

"Elevator rides?" Liv whispered to him. "By the way, I hate scotch."

"Then why drink it?"

"You like it when I steal your drink."

"How fast can you get rid of your family if we pile the drunken people in a cab?" he asks smilingly.

"How fast can you do your homework?" She counters.

"Twenty minutes maybe thirty."

Liv nodded. She put the chair into standing mode. Grabbing his plain blue tee shirt she pulled him into a kiss deep enough to have him losing track of his surroundings and grabbing her face.

"Do they always…."

"Make out like teenagers? Yes, they do. They're rather unapologetic about it, but he really makes my sister happy the way she deserves to be so put up with the inappropriateness."

She's smiling as Owen clears his throat loudly. He chases the curve of her lips with his own. She backs away leaving him momentarily dumbstruck. "Get to work, Lieutenant."

"Yes Ma'am, though your logic is flawed. I'm not LT."

"Screw your firehouse technicality loving asshole superiors. You're my LT. babe."

"Tell us how you really feel Sis." Lang teases.

She shrugs. "Fuck em'."

"Damn the man!" Grady shouts holding up angry fist that Kelly laughingly bumps.

"Who let you watch Empire Records again?" Rainey asked. "Mommy but then she made a face when I said I wanted a girlfriend brave enough to shave her head."

-/-

He takes Jamie into the guest room/Liv's office/gym to do their homework. "How do you breathe in the middle of all that? I don't think I'd survive it."

He shrugs. "I thrive on the chaos."

He listens with half an ear as the decibel level lowers. "Baby, can you check on Klaire and Aaron Shay when you're done please? Everyone's gone! I'm going to switch the laundry and then await further instruction…" She calls to him.

"Yes I will." He responds. He gets sidetracked trying to remember if he'd seen her put on underwear that morning or not.

"Why do I feel as though I'm missing something?" Jamie asked.

"Because you are."

Jamie laughed. "Do you always get your way?"

"With?" he clarifies tapping his pencil on the paper.

"Everything?"

"Depends on the request."

"I'm changing…." Liv said as she rolled past the open door. Kelly follows her with his eyes until he can no longer see her. "That woman, I had to work for."

When he sees Jamie out after checking on the kids He can hear the elevator hitting the ground floor.

When the door opens. He peers inside. She sits inside wearing a CFD shirt of his and her hair is twisted up and anchored to the back of her head. Her bangs frame her face. Her legs are bare but he can't tell if she is commando or not. It's really starting to bug him.

"HI she says holding the elevator door open. "Is this anticlimactic? You're not saying anything." She looks up at him quizzically.

"You look really pretty. I was just looking." He responds as she gives him a slow burning smirk.

"Are you going to stare all night or do something?"

He leans in and kisses her all while lifting her out of the chair and wrapping her around him. She pulls her mouth away from his regrettably. "I need the door to stay o-"He sidesteps and flings the chair into the pathway of the closing door it springs back open with a repetitive "Ding."

"Problem solved." She says breathlessly. He is definitely doing something now. He's leaving what will later be a truly impressive love bite at the hinge of her jaw. He backs her into the wall and rips her shirt over her head completely wrecking her hair.

"Mystery solved."

"What mystery…" She laughs in a high happy sound.

"Underwear mystery. Hold on to the railing." He says ripping away the scrap of black lace.

"Excuse you! Those were my special occasion panties."

He laughs while nipping at the swell of her breast. "Lift up a little, I won't drop you. She grabs the railing and pushes up, allowing him the room to undo his pants and drop them.

"Why're you laughing? Take your shirt off." She orders impatiently.

"Because, I married someone so proper and lady like they have special occasion underwear and still somehow freaky enough to fuck in an elevator." He mutters pulling the shirt over his head.

"You love me." She says seconds before kissing him as he pushes inside her hard. Her sharp intake of breath worries him.

"Are you good? Too much?"

"Fine, if we make to much noise it'll carry and wake Aaron." She points nods upward. Aaron's room is opposite the elevator shaft on the third floor.

"Such a shame had my heart set on making you scream, or at least yell expletives."

He sets a slow pace that has her hips banging back into the wall rather loudly. He keeps up a steady pace that has her flushed and sweating. She's using really dirty words; they fall in the crook of his neck.

She uses the rail behind her as a counter point to his movements. "Shit! Playing dirty huh Livvy?"

"Yeah well you keep up that pace you'll drop me, and I'll scream for different reasons."

"Take your hands off the railing and put them on me." He commands in a low serious tenor that has her complying quickly. Her nails dig into his biceps as he shoves into the hilt hard, and pulls back out and repeats again, again, and again. He can feel her body tensing and core flutter around him. She's almost there if he can just… "Lean forward baby, trust me I won't let you fall. She does and changes the angle of their bodies grinding her down on him, and after a few deep strokes she's coming like a tidal wave.

Her nails scrape down his back and she arches her back in a deep bow. Her hair is a dull copper in the low light as it falls across her shoulders. He covers her mouth seconds before a reedy broken groan of satisfaction as escapes.

He's not far behind her but when she bites at that one spot on his neck he comes immediately. He grits his teeth to keep the sounds inside.

She slumps against him and he slides them tonelessly to sit on the floor of the elevator car. He moves her hair out of her face.

"Hi Kelly." She said drowsily.

"Hi baby." He kissed her softly on the mouth.

"Was it worth the wait?"

"If I wasn't me? I'd be jealous of me."

"It was fun…" Liv agreed.

The door is still in a battle of wills with her chair for some insane reason it strikes them as hilarious. They both laugh until their sides hurt.

-/-/-/-

They are bathing Klaire, and Aaron is next when the doorbell rings. Kelly gets the door as Liv is finishing up with Klaire.

He swings the door open and there stands Erin Lindsay.

"What do you want? I thought you made it really clear what did and didn't want with Livvy."

Erin looks at him with haunted and strung out eyes. "I need her."

Kelly cocks his head at her and has to force his jaw to unclench. "She's upstairs bathing Klaire." He moves aside with some trepidation. "Erin…"

"I know."

Oh, no you don't."

He follows Erin up the stairs to Klaire's room. "Mama I eat dirt." Erin pauses in the door way. He can hear Liv grunt as she lifts Klaire out the dirty water.

"I know you did."

He steps up behind Erin too look over her shoulder. They watch her wrap Klaire in a hooded towel and kissing her cheek before sitting her on her feet. "Be free dirt devil!"

When Liv turns she catches sight of Erin. "Ewin!" Klaire squeals happily as Erin falls apart .To Kelly's utter surprise Erin climbs into Liv's lap curling around her sobbing.

Kelly steps forward afraid the extra weight will hurt Liv or topple the chair but Liv waves him off. He picks up Klaire who's becoming alarmed with Erin's tears.

"Hey E, what is it?" Liv says gently.

She just continued to cry. Liv backed her away enough to look in her eyes. "Just tell me, and I'll fix it."" She wiped Erin's eyes and kissed her forehead. "I won't be mad, I promise you."

"You're coming off the Benzos, just breathe Babe, just stay calm I've got you….When did you last take one?"

"I almost lost Jay today…"

"Keyword being almost…"

"I saved him but it was messy, and I want back in but Hank-"

"Hank has conditions huh? What are they?"

"Everything else is doable but he wants me to cut ties with Bunny."

"Erin, if you were sober you'd see the validity in that."

"I bought her pills." Erin confesses lowly.

"Damn it Erin! What have we always said we would never, ever recreate what we were born into, The O'shea in me? It doesn't matter half as much as the Grayne in me. It is because of Cole Grayne that I am ten times smarter than any doctor that works on my ER floor. He taught me how to work hard, he taught me to fight. I get my heart from Mara Grayne and no one else. You get it everything of value about you from the divinity of your own soul and Hank."

"She's my mom." Erin sniffles and Kelly's heartbreaks for her just a little.

"No, honey, mothers don't do the things she's done to you."

"So, I just let go?"

"If that's the choice you want and need to make then yes."

"I peed!" Klaire announced and they watched Kelly pulling Klaire away from his chest.

"I was hoping that was left over water." Kelly said through his teeth in disgust.

"Pee!" Klaire reiterates as they die laughing.

-/-/-

Kelly walks Erin to her car. "You only get one of those fuck ups okay?"

"You're one to talk, you parade endless women you've screwed or would like to her in front of her and I'm a fuck up?"

"I have problems drawing boundaries. You're a junkie. We're both fuck ups. I'm saying don't do it again."

"I don't plan to but just like I don't make the rules in your marriage? You don't make them in my friendship. I know I broke something in our friendship and I'll fix it and you will stay out of it." Erin states getting her car to leave after help Liv bathe Aaron.

-/-/-

"Buy me a drink handsome?" He looks up to find Liv who had just come inside after checking in with Rainey about the kids.

He leans over and kisses her. "Sure baby. What's your poison?"

"Jack and coke."

"You got it."

He holds up a hand to signal Gabi over. "How're our tiny people fairing tonight?"

"Klaire fought Rainey on her meds it's getting harder and harder to get them down her and she's getting wise to our tricks.

"Look I'll start doing it more she at least half tolerates me doing it and if not? I'll hold her you shove em' in as wrong as it feels baby, we gotta do what we gotta do."

"And if you're working?

"Bring her by the house, I don't care who says what you, and the kids come first and Klaire's health it's so important."

"Hey Miz Severide can I get a minute with your guy?" The squad captain asked. She looked to Kelly who gave a nod before wordlessly leaning forward to kiss her.

"One minute! I saw Erin, so I'll be with her. Have my drink delivered?"

Kelly nods and Liv heads off toward where she saw Erin.

She rolls up the table. "Hey, should you really be in a bar right now?"

"As your husband so sweetly pointed out I'm a junkie not a lush."

"It's your personal gate way and we both know it. When you're stable I don't worry. You were not stable last we spoke."

"I'm stable now Liv." She held out her glass. "It's water, taste it if you don't trust me."

"I trust you; just don't make me regret it please."

"I ain't smoking, popping pills, drinking, or fucking anyone and I'm living with Hank. So please Jesus, Mary, and Joesph, I need to live vicariously through you."

"I had sex in the elevator at home."

Both Erin and Gabi who'd delivered her drink stopped and looked at her. "Tell us." Gabi demanded.

"It's Kell I mean are you sure-"

"Bitch tell us." Erin said.

"It was awesome; I hurt for two days after. I think I pulled something but I don't even care because it was that good, like… Really worth looking goofy and planning ahead to fulfill his weird little fantasy."

"You planned ahead?"

"Of course she did she's Liv."

"Just some dirty texts and visual motivation to keep him happy until he gets his quarters back."

"Wait I'm lost-"Hermann cut off Erin to inform them it was Karaoke Night and then proceed to butcher "Don't You Forget About Me."

"Tell you later right now we dance." Liv demanded pulling Erin to her feet.

Kelly looks a little off when she turns to catch his eye. "Hey baby! Wanna sing "Jackson" with me next?" she asked in a shout.

"You're awful! He hollers back.

"That's the whole point Douchey!" Erin said spinning Liv in a fast circle. "Hermann! Put Liv Lou and me down for some Wilson Phillips!"

"I'm not awful! He's an asshole."

"We're equally awful it balances out."

I own nothing but my characters; the text Liv sends Erin is lyrics from Rachel Platten's stand by you. I do not own it, Oracle and Green Arrow belong to DC Comics I do not own them. IF you liked it tell me please thanks for taking the time to read!-MM


	36. Chapter 36

Dr. Severide to main service ER. Exam three." Liv rolls out answer the page. She swings into the room. There is a man with a life size Easter Bunny embedded in his chest. "Who called for Trauma consult?" 

 

"I did, Easter decor at a department store fell on the patron here, we need to get this off him before he goes into shock." Rhoades says. Figured Zinetti could make the best call." Rhoades answers. 

 

She pulls on golves. "Zinetti is sick, you got me. Did you get films? It looks to involve the lungs just from naked eye vantage point." 

 

"Yes." He hands over the xray which she holds up to the light to review 

 

"One of the glass shards is set between the heart and lungs, bisecting the brochical tree." She says aloud."Lovely, we'll have to do this carefully. We can't move that shard even centimeter without the guy bleeding out." 

 

"Which is why I called you." Rhoades puts in/ 

 

"Lets do it, someone get me the rescue squad that brought him in." 

 

"Where ya want me baby?" Kelly said stepping forward with a circular saw. 

 

"Baby?" Rhodes Clarified. 

 

"We're married..." Liv retorts completely nonplussed. 

 

She glanced at Kelly."Can you give me ninety degree cuts around the base of the embed on all sides?" 

 

"You got it, this is gonna be slow goin'." 

 

"Fluids and blood at the ready get me some cold saline bags to cool the saw blade as well." 

 

"Yes doctor." 

 

"Ready?" Kelly asked. She nods. "Then put your goggles on Livvy ." 

 

She takes clear plastic glasses Maggie hands her,"Right just like when we give Klaire her medication. Less Blood, same amount of objects flying in my face, I'll feed saline to the blade, you cut." 

 

=/=/= 

 

Rhoades watches intrigued by how silently in sync they are. Everyone says that Severide is hard on her students and sometimes her co workers, as she gives one hundred percent of herself she expects others to go as full tilt as she does. 

 

She is quick and confident, they pause at the exact same time as the guy accelerates in rhythm. 

 

They share a glance. "Cruz go find the other saw and cut from the other side." He commands one of his men. 

 

"Grab my spare gloves for Liv too." 

 

"We have to move the section off Kelly." She said impatiently. 

 

"I know, as should already know I'm not letting you cut your hands a part doing it." 

 

The other man returns and they get the glass off the guy in short order. The others can say what they like about her, but Severide is good. Sure, she might be hot headed and emotionally motivated. Hell she may even be as possessive and hard assed as they say she is but he likes her. 

 

"Rhoades..." 

 

"Yeah..." 

 

"I think this is mercury glass, means it will melt at a certain heat point. Be careful, keep me updated." She packs off what she can of the wounds. And he dives I to help her as her husband steps back. 

 

"How do you know that?"He glances at her. 

 

"My brother is an art teacher, are pressors and blood products on board? Pack him on platelets too." 

 

"Yes." Doctor April Says over his shoulder. "Okay, Rhoades, its all you. Go." 

 

-/-/- 

 

"So that's Rhoades huh?" Kelly says as everyone files out of the exam room and Liv shucks her gloves. 

 

"What does that mean?" Liv asked laughing as she tore away her smock. 

 

He shrugs."I just expected someone a bit more...your type." 

 

"My type? My type is you babe? I said he was nice to look at not that I was going to have some clandestine affair, You're cute when you're intimidated." She smiles up at him. 

 

I'm not intimidated." 

 

"if you say so my love." She murmured. 

 

"Though I am sorry the ornament fell on the dude, because seriously that is some next level Grinch shit. I really liked getting to work with you." 

 

"That's very sweet but you did the heavy lifting I just poured water on a saw blade..." She retorts dryly while grabbing his hand. 

 

"it was kinda fun, the only other person i could pull off silent communication with like that was Shay." 

 

She smiled at him. "I love you." 

 

"Love you too." 

 

"What does it say about us that a trauma is something we can find the romance in?" 

 

"We probably need to go some place other than Molly's to get lit, then go home and have sex." He kisses her quickly. "Gotta head out Baby..." 

 

"Bye Kell..." 

 

He lets her go"Bye...Think about me when you're naked " 

 

Liv laughed. "Every time, all the time." 

 

He leaves and April finds her standing in the empty room smiling goofily. "They gotta clear this exam Severide. What's with you? 

 

"Just surprised he can still surprise me with the things that come out of his mouth." 

 

=/=/= 

 

Liv had just gotten in from having a quick lunch at drive thru with her dad while on her break. She rolls back in singing Simon & Garfunkel's "Cecilia" as a result. 

 

"Must be Dad Day for you Liv." Choi says walking by. "Voights waiting on you in Admin." 

 

"Huh wonder why?" She retorts moving for the elevator. 

 

"Got you covered for the five it takes to find out." 

 

"Thanks." She said heading up to combined ED's administrative offices. 

 

She finds him leaned on the edge of Sharon Goodwin's desk. "Erin's fine." He says automatically reading her mind. 

 

She exhales a noisy breth. "Thank God." 

 

He cuts to the chase."Boden's in trouble. There's a woman who has accused him of assault and now she's missing. We had no choice to bring him in, he's waving council but he needs it, and I think he needs someone good." Liv gapes at him in utter shock Kelly hadn't mentioned anything. They must have brought him during that last call. 

 

"Hank..." 

 

"Look Kitten, if I thought he was avoidable here I'd let you... but..." 

 

"Erin has his number too." 

 

"I need you to bring him in on it so Boden and Boden's men will accept the help." 

 

"Fuck..." She swore ripely in a whine. 

 

"I know." 

 

"No, you don't. Kelly will be so mad at me." 

 

 

=/=/= 

 

Kelly has some idea of why Voight is here after all Boden had been arrested last night on false accusations he's sure but he has no clue why Liv is there with Ronan King. 

 

"Whose the hottie trailing Liv?" Brett asked standing in the common area doorway and Gabi wonders over. 

 

"Oh my god!" Gabi whispered. That's her Ex. He's some sort of pricey lawyer who can afford to take on pro bono's." 

 

Page Break

 

"He's Livvy's ex? Liv's? I dated girly man Carver Collins that Liv?" Brett said disbelievingly. 

 

"Yes." Kelly retorts sharply. 

 

"I wonder if she's come to tell you they're running away together and Voight's for his protection?" Brett teased. 

 

He just looks at her because it's not like he can say anything without accusing Liv of something she hasn't done. 

 

She looks for him as she's headed through the door. She's wearing a white top with cutouts in the shoulders and extremely tight black jeans. There's no way she's wearing underwear. It makes him smile. 

 

When her eyes find him she gives him a tense smile. "I can explain." 

 

He leaned in and kissed her, she'd left her hair down in it's natural state and he moved a strand behind her ear. "Hey Baby." 

 

"Hey, look Voight said Boden needed a lawyer and when Voight thinks you need legal help you do. Ronan's the best defense attorney in Cook County. 

 

They go into the meeting room. "I'm doing Liv a favor, I'm Boden's attorney. He's adamant he never did anything to the victim but there's nothing to back that up. It looks like he did it, and that's all that matters unless I can prove someone set him up as he claims. I need any information you may have." 

 

"Interoffice politics maybe?" Patterson said. 

 

Liv shook her head, "They'd come at him straight the way you did with Kelly, if they wanted to make him look bad as leader, it's easy enough without beating a woman. Kelly married a woman he rescued, Matt's screwing someone who works under him, then there was Brett and Cruz. Not to mention he lets Kelly and Matt run their trucks on their gut? He's where the buck stops sure, but only barely it's gotta go deeper." 

 

"She's got a point." Kelly said putting his arm around her. 

 

Gabi smirked at her. "You need to stop spending so much time with Kelly." 

 

"She thinks like a fire fighters wife ain't nothin' wrong with that." Herrmann retorts. 

 

"What about the arson case, it was a pro job, clean expensive. Bloomington was being paid off... I'm easy to discredit I was new and didn't last long,, Kelly too because he's attached however tenuously to the corporate lawyer in his management class... boden not so much." Gabi said. 

 

"Ro? You got the photos of the victim?" Liv asked scowling in thought. 

 

"Yeah." 

 

"toss em..." She gestured in a catch motion. 

 

"What? Kelly asked 

 

"Something from my post mortem classes with the ME, in medical school. I wanna check..." She looked at the photos. "I need someone to pretend it hit me. Ro, you're tall enough let's walk it through." 

 

"How bout fuck no." Kelly says leaning away from her staring at her hard. 

 

"It's fine, no one is actually hitting me, it's like when I'd help him prep sometimes you have to physically walk it through. When the person is struck it leaves behind an impact point, bruises, which... these are too high along the orbital bone to have been perpetrated by Boden. This guy's well over six feet. Ro's six foot three and a quarter." 

 

"How do you know that?" Brett asked. 

 

"Science..." 

 

"And his exact height?" She points her thumb back at Ronan 

 

"I bought his first suit for this first mock trial. It was anniversary gift." 

 

"To answer your next question, it was hand tailored and I cheated, emotionally speaking." Ronan said. "People always ask." 

 

"That they do. Voight? I'm ninety percent sure it was someone way taller, and there are practically no defensive wounds, someone comes at you with a wine bottle you at the very least toss your hands up it's common sense. The cut on her lip is from biting it in anticipation not the actual blow. You remember when Erin and I got in that wreck? I had three stitches because I saw the car coming and bit my lip through. Same here goes from bottom to top not sideways as being hit would." 

 

"Alright...you've all given us stuff to go off of and I'll call you if anything else comes up." Voight says and Liv turns and rolls to the door. 

 

"Love..." Ronan says lowly. 

 

My name's Olivia or Severide to you Ronan and I'm to tired too do the thing where you talk me out of my feelings." Liv said swinging through the door. 

 

"I knew those were revenge pants." Gabi whispers to her as they walk out together. "You look really good." 

 

"Great! Because Nat had to help me put them on and Kelly's going to have to cut me out of them." 

 

Kelly pushes her chair,"I only have one question." Kelly put in/ 

 

"Why revenge pants?" Liv wondered aloud. 

 

"Nope, are you wearing panties? Because I have a bet with myself and I'm betting no, because of panty lines...or trying to turn me on I'm good with either or both." 

 

Liv cakled with laughter. "Oh my God Kelly." Gabi says shaking her head. 

 

=/=/= 

 

Kelly and Liv decided to meet up with everyone at Molly's for a nightcap. Liv is sitting with Erin a table or two over as Kelly talks with the guys. 

 

"So apparently someone had to be the bigger woman and call up King today." Erin says nonchalantly. 

 

Liv nods. "It wasn't so bad, I mean Kelly wasn't mad at me all and I think Ro's going to fix things for Boden so good I just...Ronan's still Ronan. I felt so..." Liv sighed and sipped her beer."Why can I be friends with Carver and not Ronan. Why does it even matter? Why does it still hurt? I have Kelly! I'm happy!" 

 

"You thought you were gonna marry him Liv." Erin points out. 

 

"I never said that." Liv defended. 

 

"You didn't have too." 

 

Liv groaned. "You think Kelly can tell?" 

 

"That you're still attracted to Ronan or that you're still hurt?" 

 

"Either." 

 

"Probably, I mean you did by your own admission wear the revenge jeans but honestly as long as he's got you? As long as you're still all about him, which you are because you keep checking him out and wanting him to come over here. As long as it's him you're more into, I don't think he cares who else you've been into." 

 

"That's fair I mean it's not like the man is lacking in the confidence department or any other for that matter." 

 

"Communication?" 

 

"We're getting much better." She said watching Erin bite into a potato skin. 

 

"These are awful." Erin spit into napkin 

 

Yeah I don't come to Molly's for the food since Cruz broke up with Brett." She replies. "Kell!" She calls waiting for him to turn to her. "Hi!" 

 

He laughed. "Hi!" 

 

She's smiles back at him. "Jesus you two, just come sit by her." Erin says laughing. 

 

" 'Cuse me Patterson. "he said picking up the newspaper he'd made it into the "Heroes." Section. 

 

He drops the paper next to Erin's elbow. "Baby nabbed a peeping Tom." Liv said as Erin reads the article. He comes to srand beside Liv. "Which I know you do a lot but...this makes it so Kelly has to get his rank back. It'd make the department look bad otherwise." 

 

He leans down and kisses Liv. "Are you ever not all up on my friend?" 

 

"The only way that man is not all up on Liv is if he's asleep or Dead." Boden says walking up to them. 

 

Liv squeals before saying "Ronan did it!" 

 

"As I understand it you played a rather large part in that.." 

 

"It's what family is for right Chief?" 

 

"Right! My first act as reinstated chief is to give you back your rank Lieutenant. That is if you wish to work under me again." 

 

"Yes sir! I'll see you next shift." Kelly retorts and turns back to Liv to hug her. 

 

He kisses her and gets no reaction. "Kelly..." 

 

"Yeah." He narrowed his eyes analyzing her distracted face as she looks over his shoulder. 

 

"Call 911." 

 

"Why?" 

 

"Because that's blood under that door." She answers rolling behind the bar. She tries to push it open but there's something solid stopping her progress on the other side. 

 

She pushes the Chair into standing position and looks into the porthole style window in the door. She sees nothing and looks down through the window and sees... "Herrmann! Shit he's hurt! I'm going in through the back..." 

 

Kelly runs behind her as does Gabi and Chief. 

 

Kelly turns the corner just in time to see Liv dive for the floor. He watches helplessly as she takes a really nasty hit on the way down but it doesn't phase her as she situates herself. "Towels! I need to staunch the flow." Gabi grabs them off a nearby shelf. 

 

She rips open Herrman's shirt to expose the wound. "She presses the towels hard to his chest. "Relay to dispatch mid chest stab wound...look deep might involve the lungs or other organs." 

 

He repeats all that into the phone. "He's lost at least half a unit." She moves pushing herself up and over to straddle his chest pushing down her body weight. 

 

"Not that I have fantasized about you but if I had, it would have involved less blood positioning aside," Hermann jukes weakly. Liv's returning laugh is flat. "Just keep breathing do that for me okay?" 

 

She looks to him. "What's the Ambo ETA?" 

 

"Two minutes." 

 

'Okay, were good.' She nods. "You're going to be fine Christopher." She says it with conviction as if she can force him into good health but Kelly can see the fear in her eyes. 

 

Liv is never afraid amidst crisis. This is not good at all.


	37. Chapter 37

AN: I own nothing but Liv, Klaire, and Aaron. Enjoy.

The Intel Unit is looking for Freddie a young guy trying to cut his gang ties and Cruz was trying to help. No one seems to know why he'd stabbed Hermann but he had. They'd gotten the name out of Hermann moments before he was loaded into the ambo with Liv still holding pressure to the wound.

Kelly followed behind the ambulance and brings Liv's chair in. When he finds her they're trying convince her to let go.

"Liv I got it." Rhoades says.

She shakes her head. "Uh uh, the second I let up he'll start bleeding. I've got it controlled this way."

"Olivia look at me sweetie." Choi says stepping forward. "You're done...Rhoades is going to replace his hand with yours and April is going to push products when I lift you off on three ready?"

"But..."

"You did good girl, they're taking over move your hands at one..."

"One." They say at once she removes her hands as Rhoades reapplies pressure while shouting an order.

Her arms go around Cho's shoulders and he lifts her off with ease as though he's done it a thousand times. Maybe he has Kelly doesn't know.

She knocks her knee hard on the bed rail and Choi deposits her in a nearby plastic chair. He runs back into the fray yanking the curtains closed leaving Liv a bloodied mess.

Her hands are covered up to the forearm, the front of the plaid shirt she stole from "Because it wasn't in his color wheel." Is splattered with blood, the knees of her jeans are soaked through.

She'd knelt in Hermann's blood. He wants to be sick. He can't be though.

Because Liv is crying in an uncomfortable hospital chair and covered in their friends blood.

She's not sobbing. He'd prefer it to the controlled weeping tears tracking down her pale frightened face.

He steps over to her carefully. "I need to get it off. Please, I need to wash it off." He wipes her tears.

"Okay we can do that." He looks up to find Maggie staring out at everything. Everyone had arrived just behind him." Is there anywhere she can shower?"

"Doctors locker room, she has her own stall. Through those doors and down the long hall third door on your left. Last stall."

He lifts her into the chair. "You can stay here if you'll just wheel me in, it's not the first time I've washed off bodily fuids."

"You sure?" he double checks.

She forces a smile. "Yeah I'll be quick."

He helps Liv get where she's going but when she doesn't return after 45 minutes he begins to worry. Liv can shower in about 7 and half minutes.

He ducks in shouting. "Baby you good?" There is no reply. So he walks in and down to where Liv is said to be. Her dirty clothes are on the counter and the water is running but he can't see her legs or feet hanging off the shower chair.

Something is wrong. He pulls back the curtain to find her seizing on the tiled shower floor.

"Shit! Baby." He hits his knees in the water. He turns liv on her side and reaches up to turn off the water. He cradles her head in his hands to prevent her from hurting herself but tries to leave her body unencumbered.

He has no idea when she started having convulsions. He has a good idea what caused it though. "Help!" He screams. "It's okay baby. Someone help me!"

-/-/-

Nat is peeing because the baby has taken up permanent residence on her bladder, when she hears a terrified scream for help.

She finds Kelly Severide kneeling in shower protectively hovering over an unconscious Olivia.

"What happened?" She asked.

"She had a seizure I think."

"How long did it last?"

"Two minutes maybe, she was stressed...so I think her pressure went up and she took a fall today too."

"On her head?"

"Hip and knee. No neuro involvement unless she cracked it just now." He answers still cradling her in protector mode.

"It's most likely autonomic dysreflexia." Nat advises.

"I haven't had that issue since high school." She said coming back around.

"Perfect storm baby..." He says.

"Hi...this is not how I saw the work shower time sex fantasy going." She jokes.

"Is now really the time for sex jokes?" He admonishes.

"Just trying to put you at ease my love..."

"I'm going to do a quick Neuro check and send you up to Collins for more expansive testing due to your TBI and length of the seizure being unknown." Natalie said.

She shook her head trying to sit up. "I'm fine how's Hermann?" She leans into a Kelly "It's Tuesday the fifteenth. Yes I have a headache but I have no visual or functional changes I'm fine."

"Liv, I didn't ask your opinion be the patient." She shines a penlight in her eyes.

"Pupils equal and reactive."

"The patient wants to get up off the disgusting floor and dress." Liv says impatiently.

"Liv just humor us, okay for me? I found you...and I'd just would rather you please let her check you over..."Kelly pled worriedly.

"Fine, I hate when you're rational. You only do it when want to win it's not fair."

"We both know this was pay back for all those times I pulled maydays on you." He kissed the top her head. Her hair still wet beneath his lips. "Can I pick her up now?"

"Yeah, going to go get my blood pressure cuff just stay in the general area." Nat ordered.

He sits her back in the shower chair and restarts the water but leaves one hand on her quickly bruising hip to steady her. "Let's get the dried soap off you."

"Kelly, I'm fine. You should-"

She looks over at her cutting her off. "I'm right where I should be, I can't do anything for Hermann or Cindy. This I can do, this I need to do."

"I'm still sorry I scared you."

He pats her hip. "Not like you meant to babe, its fine."

"I wasn't collected I'm almost lost it on Choi."

"Something tells me he's used to handling you at full speed. And I don't even mind all that much. Is Choi your work husband?" he smirks at her while rinsing her off.

"That depends...who's your work wife?"

He shrugs. "Are you kidding? I can barely handle the one I got, besides there's no sex with a work wife what's the point."

"It's Gabi isn't it? I mean its fine, she'd never fall for that half bullshit half charm thing you do." She squints up at him as he rinses her hair again.

"You fell for-" Erin burst in cutting him off.

"Where is she? Liv! Livvy!"

"That was fast. Even for you." Liv quips.

"I was coming to question you When Dr. Manning rushed out. Are you okay? I'm going to send for Carver. Do you need anything?"

My dop kit. I keep my meds and the essentials in it's in the top of my locker. I could use some clothes too ones that aren't scrubs."

"Okay what's your lock code?" She darts forward to kiss Liv's forehead, she narrowly escapes Kelly hitting her with the shower spray.

"1751 just like my phone." She smiles at Erin reassuringly, while trying not to laugh as she jumps back.

When Nat comes back she checks her pressure and forces her to put on a gown and get onto a gurney to go up Neurology. "One sixty five over one twenty."

"I can get pressure down with my meds, I just sent Erin for them."

"I know that...you're still heading up to neuro."

She goes to speak. "I will hog tie you and carry you up to Neurology. I mean it Olivia."

"Kelly I don't even let you tie me up in bed, I don't have any clue what makes you think I'd let you start now." She teases as Kelly puts her on the gurney. "Carver is going to order scans and you can't be in there for them anyway. You should go see about Hermann and bring me back an update."

-/-/-

Kelly returns she's sitting in a hospital bed in pair of black lace shorts and one of his CFD shirts.

"Hey pretty girl, what's the verdict?" He asks and she smirks at the scrub pants Choi had lent him to replace his wet jeans.

She toys with the end of her side French braid before answering him thoughtfully. "Scans show no return of the TBI or any more damage. He's only keeping me for neurological checks overnight. How's Herrmann?"

" Hermann has a penetrating liver laceration but they seem to think the bleeding will resolve itself and not require surgery, Rhoades said you bought him precious time." He walked over to the bed. "Scoot over."

She scoots over without another word. "What ya watching?"

"Mostly on for noise, but its Izombie."

"Forgot you liked that. Who name's a person Major Lilywhite?" Kelly said, leaning in to kiss the crook of Liv's neck.

"A stepford wife? I don't know we gave our kid a girl's name we really cannot talk."

He shrugs. "Wanna make out? It's what we do in hospital beds."

Her resulting laughter is high pitched and happy. "As much as I would get a perverse joy out of Carver or April walking on that. It feels really wrong to be happy right now."

He trails his fingertips over the bruise coloring the inside of her left knee. "It's not wrong to be happy when being miserable doesn't change anything. You taught me that." He replies. "Please don't throw yourself from the chair like that anymore. For anyone, unless the kids are dying or setting shit on fire or something." He asks quietly.

"If something is on fire and I throw myself out? It means they set me on fire." Kelly stifles a laugh. "Sure laugh now but I'm telling you that weird relationship you have with fire is going to rub off on our kids and A create firemen and or women or B create future arsonist. Not like the murdery kind just the-"I like fire kind."

"I don't have a weird relationship with fire..."

"Babe you have smiled at me and used the words high rise fire and awesome in the same sentence before. That's weird."

"You pointed out the technical flaws while watching Dr. Quinn Medicine woman last week."

"Touché."

Kelly's phone rings. "It's your Mom, I got it." He gets up and walks out.

"Check on the kids!" She calls to his back.

April walks in as he's walking out. "Do you think he heard you? Dr. Collins said you can finally have those ibuprofen now that your pressure is in check and your scans are clean." She hands her the pills which Liv downs without water.

"Maybe, then again they're our kids so it's not like my sister doesn't know what she signed up to monitor."

"You forget I've seen you with them all, you're good at dividing it all up."

Liv scowls as April checks her read outs. From the blood pressure cuff that's set to a checking loop. "Why are you being nice to me all the sudden, I'm in therapy I know why I'm trying to be nice to you but what's your angle?"

"Who says there's angle?" Liv just looks at her. "You've held the life your friend in your hands and had a potentially life threatening seizure, that's hard day. The least I can do is call cease fire. Besides what's yours is yours, I can see that now."

"Well thanks to Dr. Charles I can see where my issues came in, I might seem tough but I have insecurities where love comes in, I get left a lot, and as much as it kills me? If he wants to leave me for you or anyone else, I have no control over it. Kelly's choices belong to him, mine belong to me. I choose to keep trusting him, I choose to apologize to you for the things I said that hurt you, regardless of any of the ways I perceive you wronged me." Liv replied.

"You must have hit your head really hard. "April murmured and Liv laughed before turning serious.

"One of the best men I have ever known is fighting for his life down stairs, and I'm really scared for him, because he's got five kids at home and a wife of twenty plus years who has stood in my shoes for almost as long. I'm scared because selfishly I don't want to lose the person who's taught me what it is to be a fireman's wife. He believes in us, I need it. Our drama doesn't seem all that important."

"I'm sorry too, more than you know. I was pretty mixed up and caught up in old feelings and...Well I was just wrong. And I'm sorry."

She nods. "Apologize to Kelly. He's the one you propositioned and then called shallow."

"Fair enough."

-/-/-/-

The guys have been in and out as they're on duty but Liv has not left Cindy's side since coming back from neurology. If Chris cocks his head to the right he can see her laying cross a row of chairs in pajamas and a hoodie. She's half leaned on Kelly currently who watching Klaire and Aaron.

"Can you send Liv back?" Hermann asks Cruz.

Cruz wipes his eyes and nods.

Hermann watches as Kelly helps Liv transfer into the wheel chair. Klaire clambers up into her lap for some affection first. She brushes back Klaire's bangs with her fingers and kisses Klaire's forehead before rolling into his room.

"Hey." She says quietly.

"Hi, heard you took a nasty fall for me."

"I'd do it again." She says giving him a watered down smirk as tears mist her eyes.

"You did your best, you did all you could in a shitty situation. Rhoades says I'm in a crap shoot now and you know that too don't ya." She nods unable to speak. "This goes tits up on me, I need to remember you did all you could Liv, and I don't want you taking it all on yourself. You're only one person and you ain't God alright sweetheart?"

She nods unable to speak.

"Go back to work, Cin will be fine. You got lives to save and babies to raise." He advises.

-/-/-

Carver clears her for work twenty four hours later. She is trying to get into the swing of the things as always in the beginning of her shift, so though she notices the guys milling about between calls she doesn't stop to chat.

She knows the basics of what is going on with Hermann's recovery but that's all she knows. All was well last she heard.

She passes Kelly in a hallway. "Hey baby, Bye baby. I have to head back to my hospital don't have time to talk, leave the babies alone in daycare. You rile brother up and leave and he doesn't sleep and then Klaire cries because you left without her. Just stay away. Love you! Be careful my love."

"You're not my boss." He calls out pouting.

"Yes, she is." Gabi adds in.

-/-/-/-

She just got through running a rather horrific call and is going back to the main ER for a consult with Manning when Rhoades pulls her into the doctor's lounge.

"What were you thinking?" He snaps at her,

"Uh… some people have truly questionable parenting skills, who lets their four year old scramble eggs unsupervised or even at all for that matter? I mean really?"

"I meant you telling your husband I made the wrong choice and should have operated sooner."[mW1]

She cocked her head. "One, I didn't know anything was wrong, two I didn't say a word." She narrowed her eyes at him. "And three I find it highly offensive, that you think I possess so very little in the way of professionalism or boundaries, as to undermine a colleague to anyone, if you had asked I'd given my opinion, otherwise your patient care unless I'm directly related to said patient is none of my business."

She pushed past. "And just so we're clear my husband has more respect for me than that, maybe you should take a page from his book." She leaves him stunned silence.

-/-/-/-

She does her consult and finishes her day, and ends up outside Hermann's hospital room.

She finds Kelly sitting back in the lobby with Klaire and Aaron. "Did they tell you what happened?" she asked rolling up beside him. "I haven't had time to stop other than to have my morals as a doctor called into question by Rhoades."

"Something about the wound dumping blood into his chest cavity. He's on a vent. "

"Lovely."

Aaron climbed over Kelly's lap and into Liv's. "And it's not like I'd even have to ask if you'd operate, I knew you would have. Apparently Will told Jay he would have too. I simply asked Rhoades if he'd made a different call sooner if it'd made a difference."

"God I hate agreeing with fucking Halsted, but at the end of the day you make the judgment calls you can live with."

"You don't like him." Kelly laughs. "Halsted I mean, there is some loathing there."

"No, don't like the brash arrogant fuck who thought it was okay to black tag you but defy a dying woman's DNR." She said plainly.

"I suppose that's fair I mean he did almost let me die. Something funny happened to me today, April apologized to me for coming on to me like she did." He said as Klaire came up to him holding out her arms to be picked up. "She said she made good with you. That true?" He picked Klaire up.

"It's not like we'll ever be best friends, because I just can't do that with anyone you've slept with but I'm trying to better ya know."

"I don't how you can get any better when you're the best person I know, but okay."

She kissed his cheek. "Suck up."

He turned his face quickly to kiss her on the mouth.

"Christopher would tell you to go home and have sex in the dark, like normal married people and stop playing kissy face in the lobby." Cindy teases from the hospital room door.

"I was planning to keep you company." Liv said. Everyone was taking turns holding vigil.

"And you have, you all have but life doesn't stop because he's sick. Go home Liv you've been here for almost three days. It's okay." They look on unconvinced. "It's fine guys."

They say their goodnight and goodbyes and walk out. "You know if having sex in the dark is normal I don't ever want to be normal." Kelly points out and Liv laughs for the first time what feels like days.

"And he's back ladies and gentlemen, Kelly Severide King of dirty jokes and general sex fiend."

 

[mW1]


	38. Chapter 38

The city wide weather warning rings out from the TV. "Please take shelter immediately, stay indoors, if you are outside seek the nearest available shelter."  
Liv's phone rings. "Hi you've reached Olivia Severide, I'm currently unable take your call please leave all queries and commentary behind the beep and I shall endeavor to call you back. Should life, work, or Kelly impede the endeavor I suggest calling the ever widening network of Grayne's and hope for the best."  
He waits for the tone.  
"You're wordy as shit you know that Liv? Call me back in two minutes Liv I mean it. I need to know you and the kids are safe…I love you…fuck it I'm going to call till you pick up."  
Liv looked down at her phone. Hubs McFireballs (17)  
She called him back. "Is Kelly dead?"  
"No! Baby I'm not I'm just checking in on you all."  
"You know the sky walk, the glass tubes hanging between my hospital and main Med?"  
"You're not in that, tell me you are not in that Liv.  
Wheelchairs can't do stairs neither can bedridden patients and they cut our elevators."  
"Are they insane?!"  
"Maybe but this is quickest way there, I gotta take my kids to Med, remodel they have steel support beams in their halls."  
"Livvy? Where are our babies?"  
"The daycare, they go through special training courses for this kinda thing, they'll probably stick them in that little coat closet again with the steel and no glass. Look I am half a hospital away from them and I'm very carefully pushing a sleeping baby with SKIDS down the glass tube of death so please Kelly tell me it'll be fine or get off the phone, I feel guilty enough as it but this kid needs saving too, he needs safety too. I'm hoping someone somewhere is keeping my kids safe and healthy too."  
"I understand baby. You're totally right they will be fine."  
"Kelly?" She pauses to draw in an unsteady breath.  
"Yeah."  
"It's so still out there…no one is out. No transport, no people. The street under this thing is dead. It's never out and out abandoned."  
"Baby it's the calm before the storm, you need to hurry. Grab help if you need too."  
"I got it, save lives but don't be stupid okay?"  
"You either stay safe, and be careful."  
"That's my line." She teases.  
"Stole it. I love you."  
"Love you more."  
"How's Liv holding up?" Matt asked plopping down in the seat beside him.  
"She's fine actually, cool as a cucumber when she's in doctor mode. Therapy is probably helping with her anxiety."  
"So why aren't you fine?"  
"Ugh..." He scrubbed a hand down his face. "You're going to make me say it out loud aren't you. I hate you."  
Matt just smiled at him.  
"Fire I can control, I mean I know how to hit it back, this... my family is far from me in an unknowable situation, I can see how Liv stays afraid. Ok I said it. Happy now?"  
"They'll be fine, that hospital is practically impenetrable since the explosions."  
Matt was right, as they are cleaning up and extricating people left behind in the tornados swath of damage the warning is lifted. He fires off a quick text as they ride back to fifty one.  
"You okay?"  
"We're fine, I'm totally slammed and having to pull a double shift. Can you pick up Klairey Kate and from daycare? If not let me know Rainey has to study, and Vivi will be out of town but I can get Mom to grab them if need be. Love you mostest."  
"Got it baby."  
He steps into chief's office to inform he'll have to be leaving a bit early this shift when he sees cops in the office. "I'll come back."  
"I needed to speak to you anyway, Come in. This is detective Alex Ward, with Homeland Security." He looks the brunette woman up and down.  
"Okay when I call Klaire a terrorist it's a joke, she's two."  
He cracks a smile. "You'd have to know his daughter to understand."  
"To be fair I sort of made her that way, what can I do for you?"  
"We have reason to believe one of the houses in the damaged neighborhood is a safe house for a terrorist cell we need a few doors kicked in, I need someone to find some structural damage so I can of course enter without a warrant."  
He shrugged. "I'm always down to break things."  
He takes the detective to do her investigations and then she needs a ride to her hotel.  
-/-/-  
Liv is sitting in the emergency bay, holding Klaire's hand barely keeping Aaron in her lap. "Son, please cut the Mama a break." She has never been so glad to see Kelly roll up in her life. Even if she has no clue who the chick in the passenger seat is.  
He gets out and crosses to her. He trades her Aaron for a cup of coffee. "I never loved you more than I do right now Kelly."  
"Who knew all I needed to do to gain your love was offer you coffee and take Aaron off your hands." He leaned in to kiss her. He plants a kiss on Klaire's head before scooping her up too.  
"Who's the chick?" she gulps at the coffee.  
"Homeland security agent, she needed a ride back to her hotel."  
"Homeland security? What do they want with you? You import a Russian hooker behind my back?"  
"You aren't funny."  
She smirks. "That's not an out and out denial of buying prostitutes."  
"You probably shouldn't say that too loud, one of them will repeat it with no context at Sunday dinner, she needed someone to kick in a door I kicked it in no big."  
"She attracted to you?"  
He laughed. "You think every woman in the history of the world finds me attractive."  
That's because they do."  
He just smiles at her.  
"So what'd you find?"  
"They won't let me tell you."  
"That means it was awesome. "She dead pans.  
"Severide!" April Sexton shouts and they looks over in unison. "Peds trauma rolling in."  
"Lovely, and the hits just keep comin'" Kelly pecks her on the lips and she's rolling off as Rhoades comes up behind her and pushes her faster.  
"See you at home baby." Kelly calls to her.  
"Back at you! Shit! I forgot to kiss the kids…Bye babies!"  
"They'll live." Kelly called back humorously.  
"What're you gonna do when you get home?" Rhoades asks.  
"Sleep for a decade, acknowledge the existence of my children and have sex with my husband. Hell I may sleep during sex just for efficiency. How about you?"  
-/-/-  
"So, you know the new candidate?"  
"Borelli?" She asks. She stirs her yogurt. While sitting on Kelly's desk. "Yeah, What about him? He doesn't make direct eye contact with me, I thought you'd like that about it him."  
"The kid has no life outside the house. Thought I'd introduce him to Rainey."  
Liv laughs. "You're going to see that half the house is Grayne adjacent aren't you."  
"He needs a distraction, and he stares at her like she's a puppy made of sunshine when she drops by."  
She just looks at him. "You know I wouldn't put Rainey in any situation where I thought she'd be hurt. She's one of the siblings I like." He smiled "once she stopped trying to picture me naked."  
"She's was seventeen and you're so hot it'll make you depressed if you aren't a real narassacist. I understood."  
"What?"  
"You're beautiful and you know it. It can be intimidating."  
"Did you just call me beautiful?"  
"I did." She leans forward. "According to Charles, the reason I get so possessive and jealous is because in my past relationships the guy who could have anyone, the guy with charm and good looks never really chose me, so I keep waiting for someone to come along and remind you I'm outta my league and you could do better. It's intimidating.  
"Ummm…no."  
"I'm working on it, I'm just saying I understand how Rain was so gob smacked."  
"Is he helping you?" he asked brushing the hair over her shoulder back  
"Some. He says I'm-"She looks at her feet for a second. "That I have the personality traits and cyclical moods pointing to bipolar disorder."  
He blinked and looks at her a bit surprised. "But you don't cycle."  
"I do, and we both know it, I'm just good at hiding it."  
After a second he asks. "What do you think?"  
"I think I don't want to be crazy," her eyes misted. "But I might be."  
"Baby you aren't crazy. Neurotic, moody, anxious and slightly obsessive about the things you love but not crazy."  
"You just described every major attribute relating to bipolar disorder."  
He cocked his head to the side in thought. "Yep, still love all of you."  
She smiled. "If you were gonna scare me off you'd have done it by now."  
"Well then I guess that's a good thing because, I really, really, like you." She returns grinning.  
"You like me enough for a quickie on the desk?"  
"You were serious about that that?"  
He ducked down pressing his lips to her neck. "When have ever not been serious about sex."  
She set aside the yogurt container carefully. "Valid point." He kissed her hard. Pressing her back into the desk's bracing wall. He slid his hand up the back of her scrub top and unlatched her bra. "We should close the door."  
"Too far away…they can watch." He mutters into her skin.  
It's three ste-"there's a knock on the door frame.  
Kelly whined while pulling away from her. "All I want for Christmas is to have sex in the middle of the day." He muttered expecting to find Casey. Instead of Casey it's the homeland agent from the night before.  
Liv blushes furiously but Kelly is completely unabashed. "Yeah, how can I help?"  
Liv transfers over into her chair and goes to roll out. "Liv…stay."  
"One I'm not a dog, don't command me. Two, I need to go Rhoades is covering for me for lunch."  
"I just need him to sign some papers."  
"I'm not doing that unless I know what I'm signing and why?"  
"It's above your pay grade."  
Liv laughed. "Lady, you don't know my husband. Good luck with that."  
"I know what we found, you may as well cop to it. The fertilizer is used for bombs and the soap shavings and kerosene are for homemade napalm."  
"Okay, I shouldn't find it sexy that you know that." Liv whispers mostly to herself.  
He smiled at Liv before turning back to the agent. "You share and I sign. While you decide I'm going to walk my wife out to her car."  
When they were out in hall Liv whispered. "Kill? I'm going to need you to refasten my bra."  
Gabi snickered overhearing as she walked by. "I have to take off the whole scrub top, it's a pain. He can just redo it." She defends.  
"See this is how I know we're real friends now Liv just admitted to trying to get it in at the firehouse without turning beet red."  
"Fed lady's a cock block." Kelly said reaching over and refastening it blind and one handily,  
"What?" Kelly said when they looked at him like he'd performed a magic trick.  
"I'm a girl and I can't do that without looking and with only one hand." Liv said.  
He grinned. "You're such a whore but I love you. See you at home?" Liv said.  
"I'll try to slip off and bring you dinner but yeah…if I can't get away home it is."  
-/-/-  
After back to back multi trauma cases Liv goes to the Med side of the on call room because it's used less. She just wants to close her eyes for a bit.  
Before she opens the door she can hear Choi talking to Maggie. "The Fed's going to be fine but still…if Severide hadn't ducked? The angle of the wound from that height would have been a direct head shot."  
"Kelly seem shook up to you?"  
"Not really. He'll avoid telling Livvy though, he always does."  
"She's gonna kill that boy one day."  
-/-  
When Kelly walks into the house Klaire is playing on the bottom staircase. She's holding on to the spindles putting her face into the gap between bannister posts.  
"What are you doing Klaire? Where's mommy?"  
"I jail…"  
"You're in jail? Well that sucks, don't stick your head in the hole okay baby? You'll get stuck, and I'm tired."  
She peers up at him with a sly grin. "You know what? I'm just not chancing it." He picked her up. "C'mon my tiny perp, let's go find the Mama." He kissed her cheek. "Where's your Mama Klairey Girl?"  
"Potty."  
"Liv! Why's our daughter playing jailbird?" he calls out as he rounds up the stairs.  
"Erin picked her up for me, apparently she was arrested for excessive cuteness and Hank let her stand in a jail cell."  
He looked to Klaire "Are you cute?"  
"I beautiful…"  
He laughed. "That is what I tell you huh."  
He turns the corner into the bathroom to find Liv in pajamas removing her make up. "Hey Babe. How was your day?"  
"Busy. Did you get shot at today?" She glances at him.  
"Um…" he hedged.  
"Kelly… I'm trying not to freak out here I really am. Because I really want you to tell me things, and not just give me the brush off because it's Liv and she's crazy bitch level neurotic."  
"Baby, I don't… That's not my intention."  
"I know and it's not like I haven't freaked out on you enough for that to make sense but…still." She paused taking a breath. "Dr. Charles thinks it might be good if you attended a session with me. If you're open to it I'd appreciate it."  
"Baby I'll go anywhere you want me too. You know that right?"  
"Yeah…"  
"Yeah we go to your parents every Sunday for dinner. I go where you want me because I love you….And you make a great pie."  
"Do not make a dirty pie joke while holding our child."  
"I wasn't…"  
"Kelly."  
"Okay maybe I definitely was but where's A. Shay?"  
"Napping."  
Kelly whined. "He's going to be awake a three am again."  
"I could not keep him awake. I tried, I think he's fighting a cold."  
-/-/-  
The office is sparse and yet packed to the brim with books and files, Dr. Charles looks a little rumpled but is kind and he makes Liv laugh in the way her father does and he can see how gets her to open up.  
"Kelly why do you think Liv asked you here?" He asked as Kelly stretched his arm around Liv.  
"So I can help her manage her anxiety and learn to communicate with her better."  
He nods. "Do you think you contribute to her anxiety?"  
"I know I do, that's why I'm here."  
"Okay, Liv there's something you've been ruminating on for a while now. Do you feel ready to share that?"  
She nods and looks ready to cry and it honestly freaks Kelly out.  
"In my head you have a nickname, I don't ever say it outload but I think it a lot. Captain Danger Extra Stupid Brave, and when I found out you were shot at I didn't cry, I didn't freak out I just thought to myself. He strikes again."  
"And then?" Charles prods.  
"You're gonna make me say it?"  
"That's my job."  
"I'd rather you would just cry. Really because this is scary, and I can handle tears I can do that." Kelly almost begged.  
"Let her process Kelly."  
I'm trying to be reasonable, please let me. But I have to know what you'd do if it was reversed. You would be so mad at me."  
"Damn it..." He cursed knowing she was right. He would be livid if she'd gone into an unsecured scene got shot at and then didn't tell him. He wouldn't care about her reasons only that he'd nearly lost her. It's hypocritical he knows that but can't change that it is how he is.  
"You would, I know we both compartmentalize when shit goes down, but someone tried to shoot you."  
He sighed.  
"Kelly you almost got shot in the head! I can't be Nat okay? I don't want to have to be like Nat one day. I will not be able to move on from it. What I am saying is, is eventually not now, not any time soon but eventually I'm going to need you to step back from the front line and move to arson."  
"I know who I married Kelly but so do you, and I can't live in fear forever."  
He opens his mouth to speak only to be cut off. "Wait! Don't say I can handle it, because you don't know I can."  
"You married me because you love me, right? Not because I'm the perfect fire wife made of steel because I'm not."  
She laughed shakily. "I'm really fucked up, and possessive, I'm mean sometimes and I'm neurotic and have tons of issues with security, and how I look, How I'm perceived and none of that's on you and I won't force you into anything but I need to know, It's going to slow down eventually and we'll raise our family."  
She takes a breath to fortify her courage. "And if you can't do that. I'll let you go, no hard feelings.  
She trudges on. "And I understand if this is too much of ultimatum, I don't mean to do that but if I'm not the end game for you, I'd rather know now, I've planned to stay with Erin, and the kids will stay where they are..."  
"Shut up." He snaps out at her.  
"I don't want to upset them.'  
"I said shut up! You aren't going anywhere. We aren't doing whatever the fuck you think that it is."  
"But I just-"  
He growls in frustration. "Jesus Christ woman , listen to me and then after you listen to me I'm going to go fuck up Carver, or that fucking ass hat Ronan or society or whatever it is that makes you think you're disposable or not worth sacrifice."  
"You're mad, I didn't mean to make you mad!" She swipes at her tears.  
"I'm sad baby, not mad at you."  
I'm not trying to make you give up the thing you love."  
"The thing I love is you."  
"I thought I could be Cindy, but I can't be Cindy okay, she's crazy."  
"No argument there baby." He jokes  
"I think maybe if shay hadn't died I could do this for longer but It's gotta slow."  
" It's going to slow down, I promise you baby because I don't want to be a smoke eater with shot to shit lungs and bum knees babe, Benny raised a smarter firefighter than that, I'm not going to step on people to get up the ladder and I like where I'm at but I'm more in love with you than I ever have been with the job. The thing you just asked me for my mom never even had the guts to mention and Benny's cheating aside it might have ended different if she had. You want it to slow down, we'll slow down. Do you need a time table to hold me too? What's going to make you trust me here baby?"  
"Five years is what I was thinking. That puts Klaire at almost 8 and Aaron at five with room for one more and that way you can be more present than Benny was and it puts you at 38 which is still kind of young to retire from active, but-"  
"I'm good with it. It's more time than Darden or Shay got."  
"One more huh?"  
"Caught that?"  
"I did. You aren't giving birth again, that I was my I need to slow down scared out of mind nine months of hell and very sad wifeness I'd rather not repeat."  
But- I liked being pregnant." She pouted  
"You hated it and that is okay we'll just adopt and never tell A. Shay it was terrifying and un-fun."  
But Nat-" She countered  
"Nat is giving you baby fever stay away from her."  
"She named her baby Owen Liv!" Kelly defended.  
"What's wrong with Nat's baby's name?" Dr. Charles asks.  
"Owen is Liv's brother's name and he is Lucifer in a Carrhart jacket."  
"Kelly!"  
"He called me The Ron Jeremy of Chicago."  
She laughed uproariously." I love him."  
-/-/-  
She wheels a few steps in front of him as they head for the car. He grabs her hand off the wheel rim to turn her around.  
"Hey." He says mind turn.  
"Hey what…"  
"Thank you. Thank you for being brave enough to tell me what you needed."  
She shrugged. "I just need to know we're headed in the same direction is all."  
"Did you honestly think I was going to pick work over you?"  
"I couldn't be sure."  
He just stares at her incredulously. "No one wants to be the one to steal someone's passion Kell."  
"You haven't so don't worry over it. Wanna grab dinner?"  
She smiles. "Food is always a yes. You know this."  
-/-/-  
"Lieutenant, your wives here with your kids and that really pretty girl." Borelli said stepping into his quarters.  
"That's one of my sisters-in-law, and you should just say hi this time rather than staring all creepy like okay Jimmy."  
The girls walk in to the common area. "I bring you A. Shay and Klaire…but she abandoned you in favor of Hermann I'm sorry but here's a sandwich…" She offered him the to go box Aaron is making his own grab for.  
"Two outta three ain't bad…" he kissed her. "Hey baby… Hey Rain."  
"You'll have to excuse Jimmy your collective beauty strikes him stupid."  
"I love when my beauty and not my wheelchair does that to a man! Hi Jimmy." Liv greeted.  
"Hi Mrs. Severide." He blushed furiously. "Hi Rainey I'm Jimmy Borelli nice to meet you."  
"Borelli you can just call me Liv…or just Severide works too. We're gonna go eat lunch and Kelly will cuddle hog Aaron… Rainey will you bring me Klaire when she figures out she's not gonna get to play with the ladder?"  
"Yeah ok…"  
When Kelly wheels her out of earshot she says. "Every time he calls me Mrs. Severide I feel like he's a paperboy with a crush...  
"He's got one just not on you. If it makes you feel better though I have a serious crush on you."  
"After almost four years you're still crushing on me?"  
"Duh, you're hot…" He retorts setting aside the food.  
She laughed as he scooped up Aaron. "Hi Bubbers!" he kissed his cheek. "How you doin? Huh?"  
Liv rolled into the quarters doorway to look out. "So matchmaker Kelly you might not suck."  
"Thanks Livvy." He says dryly.


End file.
